Roy's point of view:
5 years ago, my mom decided to get married again. On the night of
their wedding, there was a big party at my stepfather's home. I thought that
was the saddest day of my life. I didn't want a stepfather and I certainly
didn't need a stepbrother. So I sat miserably in a corner by myself the whole
night drinking my coke.
Everyone seemed so happy except me. I didn't want to hear
those aunts saying, "You should happy for your mom" and other crap. They were
bullshitting. So finally I walked out of the house. My stepfather had lots of
money and his house was very big. I walked toward the garden and saw a boy who
looked my age, sitting on the swing. When he saw me walking toward him, he
smiled to me. Not the best looking smile in this world but when I saw his
smile, it made me want to protect him. He seemed so weak and his hands so
small, but so beautiful. They were so white, they seemed to be shining under the
"Hi, who are you?" he asked me in Chinese.
"Huh? Are you saying something?"
"I asked who are you?"
"Oh! My name is Roy."
"Are you Auntie Cara's son?"
"Huh? You know my mom?"
"Well, I think you can call me your brother," he giggled.
"You are that old jerk's son?" I yelled. He's my
stepbrother? He was really 3 years older than me? This little boy...my
He giggled and said, "It's ok, you can call my dad a jerk."
"That's ok. So why you are here?" he asked me.
I didn't know why but something connected between us. I felt
so close to him so I told him why I was there. He didn't say anything, he
didn't act like the other people telling me that I should be happy for my mom.
He just listened to me sympathetically. I guess he was out here sitting all
alone because maybe he also didn't like his father to get married again. So I felt
close to him because we were in the same situation.
And so time passed and I had lots of arguments with that old
jerk. In fact, I spent most of my time fighting him more than anything. In the
end, he decided to send me to Canada for my studies. I was supposed to stay
with Tin who had left to study there a few years ago. I was eager to leave
Hong Kong too since I didn't want to see that stepfather jerk of mine again.
And so I left for Canada at 16 years of age, setting out on
my own. My brother came to pick me up at the airport. It's been a while since
I've seen him and now he was the shorter of us. However, he looked much
younger than me. We reconnected almost immediately and I gave him a warm hug.
He decided to help me with my luggage but couldn't even take the smallest one.
That only made me want to protect him more.
The last 2 years passed happily and living with my brother
was fun. He would do some really stupid things, like singing aloud in the
shower. But it only made me love him more. And he took really good care of me.
He cleaned up my room, washed my dirty clothes, and his cooking was quite good.
But I could sense that he was very lonely and maybe a little
sad. Most of the night, he would sit on his swing, singing that song. I think
I must have heard him hundreds, maybe thousands of times singing that song
every night on his swing. Every night when I looked out my window, I would
find him looking at the sky, singing. It broke my heart to see him like that.
I wanted to protect him, to take away his pain but I didn't know how.
I remember Joe telling me that Tin's a fool and that only he
himself would know what love is. I don't understand my brother. Although I
love him and tried my best, I couldn't understand his behavior. Sometimes he
would cry in the rain. Sometimes he would sit in the garden, singing what has
to be the saddest song in this world. At times, he would act like a madman and
occasionally, he would behave like an old spinster and yet sometimes he would
act like a teenage girl. He got himself a tattoo because he wanted to show Scott his
love. He could never think rationally when it came to affairs of the
heart. All his logic would shut down. You could call his behavior cute or
scary. Why couldn't my brother act like a normal man?
I believe that everyone has a purpose in his life. Some are
destined to be great, becoming world leaders. Others have a simpler purpose,
just trying to live a happy life. I believe that Tin's duty is to love. Love
is his business, his job and his destiny.
I love my brother...and I am not going to let anyone hurt
Scott's point of view:
I spent my first birthday with Tin when I was 24 years old.
Tin hadn't been spending the night at my house for the past 3 weeks. I missed
him so much. I knew he was hiding something from me. I wanted to ask him but
didn't have the courage. I was scared of his answer. I knew he still loved
him, and Andy still usurped the most important part of his heart. Every night
for the past three weeks, I would sit beside my window, looking out at the
sky. I hoped that Tin would be doing that too. At least, we would both be
looking at the same sky together, even if we held different thoughts. Did he
miss me as much as I missed him?
That night, Tin told me he had some very important things he
wanted me to know. I thought that he was going to break up with me. We went
out to a very good restaurant and had dinner. My birthday present was a big
painting drawn by Tin. He had it wrapped up and wouldn't let me open it yet.
After dinner, we headed back to his place. After a hot coffee, I summoned up
my courage to ask him what he wanted to tell me. I feared the worst.
He took my hand and led me into the garden. There was a
cloth spread out on the swing. He let me sit down but he stood in front of me.
Then he started to take his clothes off. It was near the end of November and
the weather was cold, and I couldn't figure out what he had in mind. I was
surprised and couldn't speak, so I just sat there looking at him.
First, his T-shirt came off, then his jeans and underwear.
He was so graceful and his movements were so beautiful, like he was in a slow
dance. Finally, he was standing naked facing me. Then he turned around and I
gasped as I saw the tattoo on his back. The wings on his tattoo made him look
like an angel under the moon. My angel was truly an angel now that he'd even
sprouted wings. I looked at him turning around again, smiling to me as he put
his hands behind his back. I was struck by the vision before me and sat there
enraptured, captured by his beauty. I don't think I breathed at all, I was
holding my breath and I couldn't move at all, taken prisoner by the lovely
vision before me.
"I feel so cold. Hug me," I heard Tin saying.
His words jolted me into action. I couldn't control myself
and quickly pulled him into my embrace. I heard him whisper beside my ear,
"Hug me tighter." And so I did, cherishing the precious angel in my arms.
"Make love with me please?" he asked.
"Out here?" I asked.
I'd never done anything like that. It was crazy. If the neighbors saw us or heard us, what would we do? But at that moment, all my
logic shut down. I only knew that I wanted to have him.
I was so worried during the past three weeks. I was scared
that Tin would leave me one day. When he didn't want me to go in with him to
the doctor's that night in the emergency room, I felt so hurt, and I thought
I'd already lost him. I wanted to ask him lots of things later but nothing
came out from my mouth. The feeling was tearing me into a million pieces.
I pulled my jeans down to my knees and sat down on the
swing. Then Tin slowly lowered himself down on me. His back was facing me so
that I could admire his tattoo. When he had me captured completely inside him,
he stayed still. We moved only very slightly. Then I buried my face on his
back and we were making love in his garden under the moon.
The swing was moving and he moved faster and faster. Both of
us were sweating. Tin kept calling my name and I could see his wings
glistening with sweat now, making it shine out in the moonlight. I licked the
sweat on his wings, as if trying to taste a bit of heaven from my angel. It
tasted wonderful and brought me over the edge as I cried out Tin's name. As I
buried my essence deep within him, I could feel Tin moan as he shot his seed
and came together with me. I hugged him, holding him tightly around his
shoulder in case he should fall, as I kissed those beautiful wings again.
"Is that real?" I asked him.
"Yes, and I was scared that you would be mad at me so I
"Because I did it for you, this is your real birthday
present. I want to show you how much I love you. You are my guardian angel and
no one has loved me like you have. So I got this tattoo. That is you, my
guardian angel. You are always caring for me, taking care of me, so I have to
imprint you on my back. One day when I am old and senile, I will still
remember you because you are always on my back. Scott, I love you."
"Tin, I love you too. You are so special. When I look at
your back, I thought you are an angel. You are my angel."
I buried my face in his back and hugged him tighter. I don't
know how long we stayed like this. Then I noticed it had started to snow, the
first snow of that winter. It was getting cold so I put him down on the swing
and pulled up my jeans, then carried him into the house. I walked toward his
room and put him down on his bed. Then we made love again.
I swear it got even better each time we made love. I never
really believed how much Tin loved me until tonight. I knew I loved him with
all my heart but I always thought that I was living on borrowed time, that his
first love would somehow come between us sooner or later. I could only hope
that it would be later and not sooner. I knew that I would cherish the time
with Tin regardless and that I only wish for his happiness, even if it was not
to be with me. But tonight, he showed me how much he loved me and I was no
longer scared, my fears of losing him scattered like dust in the wind,
banished for good. As if finally set free, we made love slowly and sensuously,
taking each other to new heights as we showed each other how much we mean to
one another as we burn the flames of our passion as one.
He was sitting between my legs drinking coke as we recovered
from our lovemaking. Tin loved to drink coke after making love. I was smiling
at that thought when I saw a music box beside his bed. I knew who had given
it to him. Tin followed my gaze and noticed that I was staring at the
music box. Suddenly, he stood up and picked it up, then he walked
toward the balcony, getting ready to throw the box out to the road. I caught
his hand in time and stopped him. He turned around and hugged me, burying his
face in my chest. I hugged him back.
I knew he was in pain. Although I don't fully understand
it, I could feel his pain and I'm happy to be able to share his pain with
him. I carried him back to the bed and let him down as I picked up the straw
from the can of his drink. He looked at me as I folded a star for him. Then I
put the star into the music box. When I opened the box, the sweet melody came
out. The music was sweet but it only brought us feelings of bitterness and
"Tin, please let me fill the void in your heart. Let these
stars fill the music box as my love fills the void in your heart."
He looked at me with tears forming in his eyes. He smiled to
me as his tears fell down his cheeks. I gently kissed his tears away, the
taste of it fittingly bitter...
"Please let me love you, let me love you forever. I
promise that I will stay beside you until I die. Nothing can change my
mind. There are no words in this world which can describe my feeling for you,"
I said as Tin just kept nodding, he couldn't speak. I looked at him with love
as I pulled him into my embrace.
After that day, our relationship was much closer. Every day,
I would fold a star and put it into the music box, and I knew that one day I
would fill the void in heart.
Joe had noticed the change, that the bond between Tin and I
was stronger. He told me that one day when we were walking back to the
office. Then he asked how I was feeling.
"I feel good. No, better than good...great!"
"I'm so happy for you, Scott. Oh, by the way, you forgot to
erase the pictures when you returned my digital camera. Do you still want
them? All of them are photos of you naked," Joe said as he burst out laughing.
When I got back to my house, I could smell food. Ego
welcomed me and I patted him. I walked in the kitchen and saw that Tin was
busy cooking, so I walked behind him and turned the stove off.
"Hey, what are you doing?" he asked indignantly.
I hugged him tightly as I asked, "Why is the camera full of
pictures of me? Huh?"
He laughed and tried to escape but I held him tight. I gave
him an evil grin as I carried him on my shoulder. He kept kicking his legs and
laughing as he made a weak effort to escape.
"Ok, payback time," I told him as I carried him to my room.