is a fictional story which contains scenes depicting sexual acts. All the
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A wise man once told me
that nothing ever stays the same. Things have to be constantly changing in
order for us to move forward, in order for us to learn and mature and grow.
I'm sure he was right, but
sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen a particular way, or why
they should even occur at all. Are the things that happen to us a part of
the grand plan from the masters of our universe? Or are they all just random
events that simply 'happen', seemingly without rhyme or reason, and we just
have to deal with them in the best way that we can?
Given what has been
happening around here lately I'm not sure what I think about all this at the
moment. Either we are being seriously tested by the powers that be, but for
what purpose I have no idea, or we've simply just been saddled with some
seriously bad luck.
Let's take Ben and
Samantha for instance. I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been
like for them going through the events of these past few months, it has been
just one thing after another.
Firstly, there was the
accident on the boat, in which Ben was injured. Then there was his being in
a coma, and then when he finally does wake up he has no memory. None
Like I already said, I
can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like for him. All I can
think of is that it must have been like a nightmare.
And it didn't end their
either, with the two of them also breaking up for a time, just when we all
thought things were on the improve. Talk about a genuine up and down,
twisting and turning, stomach churning roller-coaster ride!
I recall that there were
more than just a few tense moments at the time, but thankfully things have
settled down a bit since then however. I also remember making a few late
night calls to Samantha and talking to her about it all, offering to be a
shoulder for her to cry on if she needed it, but things soon righted
themselves and it wasn't too long before Ben's memory returned and they were
back together again, with everything was as it should be. At least for the
But before that there were
also all the other things that seem to have jinxed our year, like the night
we almost walked into a trap in the car park of the local hotel, and then
the damage being done to Matt's car not long afterwards.
Was there a reason why
these things are happening? I can't say if there is or isn't, but what I
can say is that I think it's about time that there was some change in the
I have a feeling that it
could be coming soon though. In fact, I can almost smell it. What still
worries me however, is just what that change may bring.
When dawn broke this
morning, all gloomy and dark, it felt like today would be another one of
those days. I lay there for a time, listening to the gentle snores coming
from Matt and the sound of the surf crashing on the beach in the distance.
Matt was lying with his
arm draped across my chest, with his face buried deep into the gap between
my pillow and his and with the sheets all askew. His back was exposed,
revealing his latest pride and joy, a small, though elaborate and colourful
tattoo of an almost naked angel, standing upon a cloud, back on to us, and
with his wings stretching out toward each of Matt's shoulder blades.
Whatever possessed him to
get it, I have no idea. When I had asked him why he had it done he just
grinned and said that it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I suspect that Justin may
have had something to do with it. And there was probably alcohol involved as
well. Or should I say, lots of alcohol.
Despite my initial
misgivings however, I do have to admit that I was growing to love it.
Especially after Matt went back to the tattoo parlour and had them add the
letters LUKE in an arc across the angel's shoulders in fancy lettering.
That was a sweet touch that, I thought.
Matt wanted me to get a
tattoo as well, but so far I had resisted the temptation. `Maybe one
day,' I had said to him.
As gently as I could I
slipped out from under the weight of Matt's arm, trying to make sure that
I didn't disturb him, then got out of bed and pulled on a pair of shorts,
before quietly slipping out of our room and padding down the hallway to the
bathroom. A few minutes later I was in the kitchen, adding instant coffee
and sugar to my favourite mug and waiting for the kettle to come to the
There were no sounds
coming from Tim and Guy's room as I passed their doorway, but as I poured
myself some coffee when the water had finished boiling I heard someone else
using the bathroom before then hearing the sound of a bedroom door closing.
Somebody had stirred, but by the sounds of it they went back to bed, which
is what I wouldn't mind doing, except that there was studying to be done
and an assignment to have finished and ready for handing in tomorrow,
After settling into a
comfy chair in the lounge room I picked up one of my books from the table
beside it and flipped open to where I had left off reading the previous
night. It was unimaginative stuff really, all about the inner workings of a
computer hard drive, with their rotating platters and motor driven spindles
and their magnetic dipoles, but I still had to finish reading it and then
write up something about them which at least sounded like I knew what I was
talking about. When that was done then maybe I could go out and play, or
back to bed to play, but not before.
Between sips of coffee and
frequent yawns I managed to eventually finish the book, while at the same
time making some notes which I could refer back to later on. When I had
finished I swallowed the last of my coffee and put the book back down on the
table, then collapsed back in the chair and closed my eyes for a few
`Did you even go to bed
last night?' I heard Tim ask after what seemed like mere moments later,
but was actually more like an hour, according to the wall clock. `I'm
sure that's where you were when I went to bed.'
Opening my eyes I found
him standing in the doorway, propped against the door frame with his arms
crossed in front of his bare chest.
`I think so' I
replied, `but it all seems like such a blur.'
`I know what you mean.
It was a bit of a late night wasn't it? I didn't realise that playing
poker could be so addictive, or so exhausting.'
`Well, when you are
winning it can be,' I remarked, thinking back to how easily Matt and I
seemed to have parted with our cash so easily. I had given up first,
deciding that I would be better off studying than losing any more money, so
I went back to my books, while Mat kept at it for a while longer, determined
to try and get something back off Tim and Guy. Eventually they prevailed
though and cleaned him out all together.
`Don't worry. We'll
give you a chance to win back some of your money tonight if you like?' Tim
said, as he removed himself from the doorway and headed for the kitchen.
`You're far too
kind,' I replied as he wandered away.
Reluctantly I picked up my
notes from earlier that morning and started reading back through them.
Things were finally starting to make sense to me and my assignment was
finally beginning to come together in my head.
After about a bucketful of
more coffee, and another couple of hours spent on my computer in our room,
all the while continuing to listen to Matt's endless snoring, I eventually
got to the point where I could hit Save.
Not even the sound of my
printing off the assignment could wake Matt, so I sat there and re-read
everything, then made some corrections and re-printed the assignment,
finally happy with it, but still just a little worried about how Tom
Cassidy, my lecturer, would see it when I handed it in to him tomorrow.
After putting the
assignment aside I turned off the computer then crossed the room, soon
finding myself standing beside the bed and looking down on Matt, still
snoring and spreadeagled across our bed, barely covered by the sheets.
Reaching down I slipped off my shorts and dropped them on the floor, then
sat on the edge of the bed and lay back against the pillow.
Gently I lifted Matt's
arm and slid beneath it, snuggling in close to him before then letting his
arm fall across my chest and pulling part of the sheet across me as well.
It was only then that he
finally started to stir, opening his eyes and staring at me across the
pillows. Almost immediately he broke out into a smile. It was a smile that
lit up the entire morning.
Sunshine,' he said to me, before then reaching across and placing his lips
`Actually, it's almost
afternoon,' I was eventually allowed to say, grinning back at him.
`Who cares,' he
replied. `Part of me still thinks it's morning.'
`Well then, who are we
to argue with it then?'
He kissed me again, then
slid his hands down my body and pulled me closer to him. As his body came
against mine, his firmness unmistaken, I felt myself starting to stir. Then
as Matt rocked his body against mine, his arms wrapped around me, his tongue
sliding in and out of my mouth, I knew exactly how this morning would
And that excited me even
As a lecturer Tom Cassidy
wasn't too bad. He was a bit of a hippy (complete with cliché pony-tail
and scruffy beard), very laid back, and we all got on quite well with him,
some of us to the point where we often helped out with his latest
`project' and even got to call him by his nick-name, which was simply
I had been in his office
on quite a few occasions since I had started my course here, and nothing
ever seemed to change within it. It was always a mess.
The piles of paper that
were forever stacked on the floor along one wall didn't ever seem to go
anywhere, except perhaps to grow higher. The bookshelves that stood behind
his desk were stacked solid with weighty manuals, even to the extent that
the shelves seemed to sag in the middle slightly. And the bench along the
other wall, above which there was a large window which overlooked a paved
courtyard several floors down where students gathered most days to eat their
lunch, was covered with various computers, all in differing states of
I often found myself drawn
to this side of the room, always enjoying taking a glance out the window to
check out the action in the courtyard below (which could often be rather
interesting), as well as to check out the latest gadget or computer
component he had been playing with.
Once I had even managed a
glance inside the back of the old, bright orange Volkswagen Kombi van that
he drove and it had been just as big a jumble, so I often wondered what the
state of his house was like.
It was late in the
afternoon and he was sitting at his desk when I knocked and entered his
office. He looked up at me, removing his glasses as he did so.
`Hello Luke. Please,
come in, and shut the door,' he said to me.
Doing as he asked I closed
the door behind me and took the few steps across the room to his desk,
holding my assignment out for him.
`Here it is, for better
or for worse,' I said to him.
`Thank you,' he said
to me as he took the assignment and quickly flicked through the pages while
I stood there. `I look forward to reading it.'
`I hope it's okay,'
I remarked, though without any real confidence. Glancing across at the bench
below the window I noticed that there was a new machine there that he
appeared to be working on, and so I went over to take a look.
`This is an old one,'
I said to him, resting my hand on the casing. `I don't think I've seen
one of these before.'
`No, you probably
haven't,' he said, getting up from behind his desk and coming over to
where I stood. `It's an old Apricot word processor that belongs to one
of the faculty staff. Pretty ancient. Pretty basic. But they weren't too
bad just for using them for what they were designed for.'
He was standing beside me
and quite close. I could feel his breath on the bare skin of my arms and
couldn't help but breathe in the fragrance of the cologne or deodorant or
whatever it was he was wearing, leaving me with the strangest of feelings
All of a sudden I could
feel my heart starting to beat faster within my chest, yet couldn't
`They came out in the
nineteen eighties,' he continued, then just as he said that he placed a
hand on one of my shoulders, sending a tremor through my body as he did so.
This was quickly beginning
to feel uncomfortable. I felt as if I needed to run, to get as far away from
him as fast as I could, but yet for some reason I was rooted to the spot.
`It has been playing up
a bit, so they asked me if I would take a look at it. I don't think I can
do anything with it though,' he added, whilst placing his other hand on
the computer case and then sliding it along to where it rested against mine.
Quickly I pulled my hand
back, while at the same time trying to shove both hands into the pockets of
my jeans. I could feel myself trembling, but what was worse, I could feel
something stirring in the pit of my stomach.
`I... I...,' I
stammered. What I wanted to say was that I needed to get the fuck out of
there, but nothing came out. I turned and looked up into his face, but was
unable to read anything there.
anything,' he said to me, in what was barely a whisper.
I tried to take a step
back, but his hand slid down to the small of my back, gently but firmly
holding me in the spot and preventing me from doing so, while his other hand
came to rest flat on my chest.
`This doesn't feel
right,' I blurted out, trying to get past him but being firmly stopped.
`I think I should be going.'
Momentarily he pulled me
closer to him, turning me slightly as he did so and pushing me back against
the bench, causing our bodies to touch, as he started leaning in toward me,
his face just inches from mine. I felt the hardness of him against me and
much to my surprise I found myself growing partly erect as well. Once more I
made an effort to pull away from him, and this time, thankfully, I managed
He stepped back and we
stood there facing each other, him with a blank expression on his face and
me shaking all over, with anger and humiliation, but perhaps also with just
a touch of guilt.
`What the fuck are you
trying to do?' I spat at him, unable to comprehend where this had come
Now it was his turn to
stammer. `I... I'm sorry Luke.'
`Sorry? Is that all you
can say? Jesus, Cass, you're supposed to be the teacher here. You aren't
supposed to try on that sort of shit!'
Outside in the afternoon
the faculty buildings were throwing long shadows, covering the courtyard
with gloom as it started to grow dark. In the office it was even darker and
for a few moments silence took over, before either of us spoke again.
`What can I say Luke,
but that I'm sorry,' he said eventually. `I don't know what I was
thinking. It was late when you came here. Maybe I figured you...'
`What? Surely you
couldn't think I wanted THAT?'
`Well... it's late...
`What? I'm gay, so now
it's my fault? You're just too fucking much Cass! I just can't believe
As he stood there staring
at me, open mouthed, I headed for the door, yanking it open and then
slamming it closed as I stormed out of the room and started for the end of
the corridor and the doorway which would lead me to safety.
The sound reverberated
along the corridor and a few heads turned my way enquiringly as I stomped
along the passage, my feet seemingly wanting to go faster and faster the
further I went. I glance back over my shoulder but there was no sign of Cass
following me. By the time I reached the stairwell I was running, but my mind
was racing even faster.
`What do I do about
`Should I tell anyone?
Should I tell Matt?'
`What will Matt say?
Fuck, what would Matt do?'
Moments later I had
descended the stairs and burst out through the door into the fading
afternoon light. It was cool, yet I felt like I was burning up inside. I
kept running, all the way to the bus stop, where I knew I would be able to
catch the afternoon shuttle back into town, before then catching the last
bus out to Thompsonville.
By the time I was headed
up the highway toward home, I had calmed down a bit, yet I was still feeling
jittery inside. As I stared out the window into the near darkness, seeing
only a faint glow behind the towering dark bulk of the mountains and
watching only the lights of other vehicles fly past, I kept mulling things
over in my mind. By the time I reached the Thompsonville turn off I had
decided that in the end I wouldn't say anything at all to Matt about what
happened, as I knew he would probably go ballistic if he found out, and
despite me being extremely pissed off by what Cass had tried, it didn't
warrant him having Matt coming after him seeking revenge, which is what I
figured Matt would be bound to do.
I still felt that I needed
to talk to someone about it though, but just who that should be I wasn't
That night in the house
was a relatively quiet one, with no one it seemed wanting to do anything
much at all. Tim and Guy excused themselves early and went to bed, although
the faint sounds that were coming from their bedroom soon told us why.
Matt and I curled up on
the lounge together with the lights off and watched some television for a
while, some American sitcom that was supposed to be funny, but I think we
were both finding it difficult to laugh at the times we were supposed to.
`You're a bit quiet
tonight,' I said to him during an add break, thinking I would get in first
before he started asking me what happened in my day.
`I could say the same
about you,' he replied.
`Long day, I guess.'
`Yeah. Me too. Did you
get you're assignment handed in?'
`Yes,' I answered,
hoping that he didn't hear the quaver in my voice.
We were laying on the
lounge, Matt's back against the arm of the chair while I was leaning back
against Matt, his arms wrapped snugly around me while I had my head resting
back against his shoulder. Being in his arms like that felt good, even
though my stomach was still churning after the events of the day.
Sometimes it's simply
best not to say too much, I thought. Especially when there's stuff that
you specifically don't want to talk about.
`Are you watching
this?' Matt asked me.
`Mind if I kill it
`No. Go right ahead.'
Reaching across toward the
table beside our seat he picked up the remote and hit the red power button,
immediately plunging the room into near darkness.
Neither of us made any
move to get up, we just sat there, wrapped up in each others company,
listening to the a soft wind outside that was blowing through the she-oaks
that were close to the house, rocking them gently.
It was a comforting sound,
one that I loved to just lay back and listen to, but as we sat there in the
darkness we soon found ourselves listening to another sound as well.
`Do you hear that?'
Matt asked me, his voice tinged with something akin to mild alarm.
`Yes. I thought I was
hearing things at first.'
We both got to our feet
and headed down the hallway toward the back door of the house, from the
other side of which we had both heard footsteps coming up the path behind
the house and which were now climbing the short row of steps leading up onto
the back verandah.
Some time ago, at about
the time when we had run into a little bit of trouble with some local
rednecks, we had stood a baseball bat beside the back door, just in case it
was ever needed. Thankfully none of us had ever had to pick it up, but as a
precaution Matt reached out for it now as I turned on the outside
The sound of the footsteps
stopped and cautiously I opened the door, to reveal the somewhat bedraggled
figure of a young man standing there, with backpack over his shoulder, his
clothes dirty, his jeans torn at the knees and his dishevelled blonde hair
sticking up this way and that.
For a moment the three of
us stood there staring at each other, looking back and forth without a word
being spoken, before Matt finally made a move and pushed open the screen
`Can I come in?' Tony
asked. `I'm sorry. I didn't know where else I could go.'
`Of course you can,'
Matt answered, stepping aside to allow Tony to come through the door.
It was quite a shock to me
seeing my cousin like this. The last time I had seen him was about a year
ago and he was barely a boy then. He still couldn't be any more than
sixteen now, but in that time he had certainly grown some.
`Aren't you going to
say hello to your cousin?' Matt asked me as Tony crossed the threshold and
swung his backpack off his shoulder, dropping it on to the floor.
Tony reached out his hand
for me to shake, which I took, then pulled him to me. We hugged.
`It's good to see you
again,' I said to him.
`Thank you,' he
replied. `It's good to see you too. I wasn't sure if you would want to
see me though, or even let me come in.'
`Tony, you're always
welcome here,' Matt said to him.
EDited by Ed
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