Date: Fri, 22 Sep 2006 11:12:49 -0700
From: tenniswiz12@msn.com
Subject: Three Roads- Chapter 23: Goodnight and Thank You

This story contains adult and sexual situations between males. If this is
not to your liking....well you know the drill.


Three Roads- Chapter 23- Goodnight and Thank You


	Eric stared blankly ahead as Bliss moved her mouth a thousand times per
second.  She was talking about...something, he wasn't quite sure; he hadn't
been listening to her for quite some time.  His thoughts, as they had
several times over the past few days, had drifted to his mother.  It had
been almost a week since she had discovered that he was gay.  Besides that
one call where it was obvious in her voice that she knew, she hadn't
attempted to call him, and he hadn't tried to call her either.  For now, he
thought, it was better this way until he figured out how exactly to go about
it.

"What is she talking about?"  Eric whispered to Cooper.

"She's talking about the panels tomorrow night."

"The panels?"
"Yeah.  Tomorrow night, people from the group are going to get up there and
talk about what it's like to be homo.  Aren't you doing it?

"Oh yeah."  Eric said distantly.  He had been going back and forth ever
since he had read the e mail that Dr. Taylor had sent out.  She was looking
for volunteers, who would be willing to go to a Human Sexuality class that
was offered on campus and speak on what it was like to be gay.  Richard had
asked him directly if he was going to speak, and in a hurry he had said yes,
but now he was seriously considering backing out.  He thought it was a good
idea for the group to do these panels, he just wasn't sure if he was ready
to do it himself.  The shuffling of people around him and Cooper tapping him
on the shoulder brought him back to the present.

"You ready to go?" Cooper asked.

"Yeah."

"Are you excited about speaking?" Richard asked Eric smiling.

"Yeah, can't wait."
"I'm really excited too.  I've never done anything like it.  It's going to
be a major rush, I'll probably want to fuck or something after to get rid of
the pent up energy."

Cooper laughed, "I like you more and more everyday."

"Why couldn't Toby come again?" Eric asked.

"He's playing tennis with Tim."

Eric and Cooper exchanged a glance between them.  Richard saw it and smiled,
"I trust Toby, nothing's going to happen."

"Oh, I'm sure there's a lot of innocent ball tossing going on."  Cooper
smirked.

"He's probably just doing this to get back at you for hanging out with
Bliss." Eric said matter of factly.

"Naw, he's not that kind of person."

"He isn't?"

"Not part of the Toby fan club anymore are we?" Cooper joked.

"I've barely seen him all semester.  I can't even remember if we've hung out
since the sleepover."

"He's been busy with tennis and school and..."

"With you."

"And Tim." Cooper added.

"Nothing's going on." Richard said sternly.

"Hey, I'm just the messenger." Cooper laughed.

The boys finally arrived at the dorms, and as was becoming the tradition
after the QSA meetings, Eric followed Cooper to his room where they chatted
just amongst themselves for a bit.

"You nervous about seeing Kevin tomorrow?" Eric asked.

"You nervous about speaking about being a queer?"

"I'm not sure I'm going to."

"Aw, why not?!"

"I'm not sure if I'm ready.  I think I'm ok with it now, or I'm close to
getting there, but to get up in front of a bunch of people and just lay it
all out there..."

"If you're not ready, then don't do it.  Dr. Taylor said it was a big thing
to ask and that no one should feel obligated to speak."

"But I do feel obligated, I said I would, plus...what will Toby and Richard
say?

"Who gives a fuck about what they will say.  You should be doing this for
you, not for anyone else."

"I know, but it's easier said than done."

"Everything is.  All I'm saying is you should be doing this because you want
to."

"I really do want to, I just, it'll be final after that.  I'll get up there
and say I'm gay and everyone will know and I can't take it back after that."

"I know what you mean, but you'll feel exhilarated after doing it.  There'll
be no more hiding, no more lying by omission, none of that.  You can just be
Eric."

"Do you wonder if it'll feel like that when you tell your parents you're
gay?"

Cooper was slightly taken aback.  He hadn't expected that to be turned on
him, "I hope so.  I'm going to tell them soon."  He added defensively.

"I guess I have to tell or admit it to my mother soon."

"She still hasn't called?"

"Nope."

"I'm sorry about that man."

"Naw, it's fine.  I need more time to think anyway."


Across campus at the tennis courts, Tim was having the same problem of not
being able to formulate thoughts.  Despite, it being late November, it was
an uncommonly warm night in Sunnydale.  Tim and Toby had been playing tennis
for a little over an hour, when Toby decided to take off his shirt because
he had gotten too hot.  Tim proceeded to lose the next 9 points in a row as
he couldn't take his eyes off of Toby's beautiful body.  They were taking a
break now, sitting down on one of the numerous brown benches that had been
nailed down on top of the green and white courts.  Toby still had his shirt
off and the silence between them was making Tim very uncomfortable.

"You're still amazing," Tim smiled, and then closed his eyes in
embarrassment, "I meant your game, tennis game is still...maybe I should just
stop talking."

"Maybe," Toby laughed, "You're still pretty good, have you even played since
you quit the team?"

"Nope, I guess it's like riding a bike."

"Eh, if I didn't play for a couple of months I don't think I could ever get
it back."

"I'm sure you could...how are things with Richard?"

Toby laughed, "The same way they always are.  I want to strangle him and
never speak to him, but I don't think I want to be with anyone else."

Tim felt as if a dagger had ripped through his heart.  He didn't trust his
voice to speak at that moment so he politely nodded and smiled.

"What about you?  Are you dating anyone?"

"Um, no," Tim said quickly, "I wouldn't even know where to look."

"What about Eric?  You guys are pretty close right?"

"I like Eric a lot, but we're good friends...I think it would be too weird any
other way.  Plus, him and Jon still got a thing going on."

"They're still dating?" Toby said surprised.

"Yeah, don't you two talk?"

"Not really.  I haven't talked to him much lately.  I need to change that,
he's cool."

"Yeah you should."

"You want to play for a little while longer?" Toby asked.

"Yeah, I'm up for it."

"Sweet." Toby said jumping off of the bench.  Tim enjoyed looking at Toby's
ass as he got up.

"Damn." He whispered as he walked to the other side of the court.


Cooper awoke early the next morning after having a terrible night of sleep.
The only other time he could remember feeling this way, is on Christmas Eve.
  Still to this day, the excitement of Christmas could keep Cooper up all
night, and apparently so could Kevin.  Cooper was conflicted; he wanted to
get out of bed because that would mean the sooner he would see Kevin, but he
also wanted to stay in bed forever, because the sooner he started his day,
the sooner Kevin would say goodbye.  On the other side of the wing, Eric was
awakening from a sleepless night, but for a very different reason.  In a few
hours, Dr. Taylor and others were expecting him to stand up in front of an
auditorium full of people and explain to them what his experiences had been
as a young gay man.  He was still very unsure if he could get in front of
people and talk about his sexuality, he also didn't want to be perceived as
a coward by backing out.  His cell phone vibrating on his desk, scared him
half to death.  He reached over his head and saw that it was Cooper calling.

"Hello?"

"I can't sleep."

"So you thought it would be ok to wake me up?"

"Oh shit, were you still sleeping?"

"No, I was awake."

"Then shut the fuck up!  What are you doing?"

"Just lying here." Eric yawned.

"Me too...It's a big day for you."

"It's a big day for you too."

"Yeah."

"Yep."

"You want to catch some breakfast or something?  I kinda want some company."

"Yeah, I'll meet you at the stairs in twenty."

"Alright."


Twenty minutes later they were seated across from each other with trays full
of food, that neither had touched very much.

"What time are you and Kevin hanging out?"

"He said he had a final to take, but that he should be done around noon."

"So you'll just be driving yourself crazy until then?"

"Pretty much.  What about you what time is the big presentation?

"Like noon.  I have class all morning until then though so that's good."

Joey plopped down sitting next to Cooper, and Eric couldn't help but notice
how closely Joey was sitting next to him.

"Morning."

"Hey," Cooper said, "Why are you up so early?"

"Too horny to sleep.  I was humping the mattress like crazy, but I got up
cause I didn't want to cum."

"Why not?"

"Cause I'm saving up.  I haven't cum in like three days.  I'm waiting until
the weekend when my roommate will be gone and just jack off all over the
place."

Cooper was intrigued, "Have you done that before?"

"Yeah.  Not only is my load huge, but the orgasm is fuckin awesome.  I
normally only cum like that when I've got a cock in my ass and mouth."

"T-M-I dude." Eric said.

"Hey what time is the QSA thing?" Joey looked at Eric.

"Noon."
"You're gonna do it?" Cooper said surprised.

"Why not?"

"I guess you just don't seem like the let's do something to help gay
students." Eric said.

"Neither do you."

Eric threw a nasty look at him, but Joey had already turned to Cooper,
"You've never saved up your cum for a couple of days?"

"Nope, it's supposed to come out not stay inside, what's the fun in that?"

"Maybe I'll show you one of these days." Joey said simply.

A few hours later, Eric was making his way back to the dorms, not because
class was over for him, but because he was almost completely beside himself.
  He raced past each classroom building and through small crowds of friends,
trying to get to the halls and then to Cooper's room before he started to
cry.  He launched up the stairs once he was inside the building and found
that Cooper's door was open.  He saw Joey sitting on the bed and he looked
at Cooper as seriously as he could muster, "Can I talk to you alone?  It's
an emergency."

"Yeah, I'll talk to you later, Joey."

Joey was a bit surprised and miffed that he was unceremoniously being thrown
out of Cooper's room, but he figured he could go edge a little bit more to
make this weekend even more enjoyable, "Alright, I guess I'll catch you guys
later."

Cooper shut the door as Joey went out, "what's..."

Before he could finish his sentence, Eric had grabbed him in an embrace.
Cooper, caught a bit by surprise, put his arms around his shorter friend.

"I don't understand." Eric said, sniffling.

"You don't understand what?"

"This feels good to me...being in your arms, a man's arms."

Cooper stepped back, releasing Eric from his arms, "Are you playing with
me?"

What?  No, I'm being serious. I like the idea of being held by man. I'm ok
with that for the most part, so I don't understand why I feel like I have to
throw up every time I think of getting up in front of those people and
admitting that that's what I like."

Cooper couldn't really think of anything to say.  Part of his mind was on
Kevin, but he was surprised at how flustered he was at the moment around
Eric; he was almost embarrassed by the close contact they'd just had, "It's
different."  was all he could come up with.

"Not really," Eric said sitting on Cooper's bed, "Cooper, I want to do this,
but..."

"You're just not ready." Cooper finished for him.  Cooper was now sitting on
the bed with Eric.

"Yeah," Eric sighed.  He laid his head on Cooper's shoulder and Cooper
involuntarily twitched, though Eric didn't seem to notice, "What do I do?"

"Just...back out of it."

"I can't," Eric said, leaping off the bed.  He paced the room as he spoke to
Cooper, "I made a commitment."

"Sometimes you have to break those."

"Fuck, it's like 11:30.  I have to go."

"Where you going?"  Cooper asked a bit worried.

"To the meeting.  I have to go at least to show some support."  Eric was on
his way out of the room before Cooper could even speak, "Oh, have fun with
Kevin.  Don't worry about it, it'll be awesome."

Cooper stood in the center of his room.  He had forgotten about Kevin for
just a few moments, but Eric's reminder had slammed his thoughts quickly
back to that direction.

"Is he finally gone?"  Joey said coming back into the room.

"I'm leaving in a few minutes to go to Kevin's room."  Cooper said, trying
to take his mind off of the weird encounter with Eric.

"Jerkface."

"This is important.  You know that."

"True, what else is more important than straight dick?"  Joey said as if he
were remembering a fond memory.

"Alright, I'm heading over.  Wish me luck."

"Good luck.  And if you ever need a friend...with benefits... you know where to
find me."  Joey winked before turning around and walking out of the room.

Cooper closed his door carefully and made his way halfway down the hallway.
He hesitated before knocking, was this really happening?  He would knock and
Kevin would open the door just to walk out of his life a few hours later,
why was he putting himself through this?  It's not like they had been all
that close since school started.

"No negative thoughts." He whispered to himself.  He knocked and a few short
moments later Kevin stood smiling in front of him.

"Cooper, come in."

"How's it going?"

"Bombed that final I think, but I'm done as a student here until next fall.
How are you?"
"I'm ok," Cooper cleared his throat, "So what are we going to do today?"

"My room is still a pig sty, so I thought we'd just hang out here mostly and
throw away most of this."

"Throw away what?"

"Most of this stuff will just sit at my parent's house and they don't really
have the space, so most of it I'm just going to toss."

"That's a lot of stuff to throw away."

"I guess.  But I'm off on an adventure for the next couple months, out with
the old and in with the new...I wasn't talking about you."

"I didn't say anything."  Cooper said dryly.

"Alright, let's not have our last moments together be like this alright?
Just let it go."

"That's easy for you to say.  You don't have anything to get over!  I'm not
leaving you, I didn't...I don't even know what to say, what were we?"

"We're friends, good friends."

"Then why did you set up that little show for me to walk in on?  Who is that
girl?"

"Monica.  We've kind of been seeing each other."

"While we've been..."

"I've only known her since school started.  And we've only been talking
about a relationship for a few weeks."

"So then yeah you were using me until you got a permanent cocksucker."

"Cooper, that's not fair.  We had an unspoken agreement.  This couldn't last
forever, you knew that going in.  I was a huge asshole and I know it, but
you got to think about it from my side, it brought up all these weird
feelings...I don't even want to talk about it, but I am because I know I owe
you."

"Are you gay, honestly, I have to know?"

"You know I'm not gay."

"Really?  Your best friend from home is gay, I've been giving you head for a
year, and you've blown me, that sounds like a faggot to me."

"Fuck you.  It's not like it matters to you.  As long as there's a dick
attached you don't care who it belongs to.  You were blowing me a month
after we met.  Look at your history, you've been with 3 other guys, but none
of those were actual relationships, maybe you should wait on sucking dick
until you actually get to know the guy."

"You don't know anything about my past."

Kevin sighed, "It's not supposed to be like this."

"Fuck you, it's too late for that.  You've already said and done some
unforgivable things to me.  Have fun on your trip, asshole."


Across campus, Eric was sitting in the Multi Cultural Center, though it
didn't look very much like it.  All the tables had been moved somewhere else
to accommodate the extra seating that would be needed for today's event.  He
was surprised at the amount of people who had shown up; many of them looked
to be students, but there were plenty of faculty and staff there on their
lunch breaks to hear what was going to be said.  Eric saw Dr. Taylor make
her way up to the front of the stage and his chest immediately tightened.

"Good afternoon and thank you to all of you for being here.  In case you do
not know, I am Dr. Jill Taylor and I am the Queer Straight Alliance or QSA
here on campus.  It's a group for gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans-gendered,
ally, inter-sexed, and questioning students to have a place to talk and make
friends and feel free to be who they are.  Today, some of these students
will be speaking on their experiences of what it's like to be gay or
bisexual for them.  Some of you will hear things you may not agree with, and
that's ok, I ask that you take into consideration how difficult it is to get
up here and do this, so please be courteous.  At this time, I ask that
anyone who wishes to speak today please make their way to the stage."

Everyone immediately looked around to see who would appear from the crowd
and make their way to the stage.  Richard and Toby were the first ones up,
and Eric saw Bliss give each of them a high five as they passed her.  A
couple of students Eric didn't know, but had seen at the meetings also made
their way to the stage.  Eric felt guilty and worthless as he sat there, but
he knew, that as far as he had come in a year, he still had a ways to go.
Joey also made his way up to the stage and stood right next to Joey.

"Thank you," Dr. Taylor smiled at each of them, "I said this before, but
because this can be a challenging experience, I will start.  Again, I'm Dr.
Jill Taylor and I am a lesbian.  I spent a lot of high school and my early
years of college depressed, because I knew I was different and I was ok with
that, what was worse though was that I knew others were not.  I didn't have
very many friends because I was afraid that someone would find out that I
was a lesbian.  I did meet a girl, and I'll never forget her name, Rebecca
Sterling, and she was just this out there, wild and crazy girl who didn't
care what anybody thought about her.  We had an intro to psychology class
together, I had just changed my major and decided that's what I wanted to
do, and I'm so glad, because it changed my life.  Anyway, her love of life
and living in the moment rubbed off on me and she was the first person I
ever admitted my sexuality too.  We were supposed to be studying in the
library one night, and we had been passing silly notes to each other for a
while, and she asked me who I thought was the best looking person on the
library staff.  In hindsight, I think she knew, because she didn't write
best looking guy, she wrote best looking person.  I chose one of the girls
who was responsible for putting books back that had been taken off of
shelves and Rebecca just smiled and nodded like it was nothing.  We stayed
friends after college, but like with anything, you grow apart, and she had a
husband and a family that took up most of her time.  I do have a partner
now, Elizabeth, and we've been together for 8 years now.  We have two
children, Fluffy and Spot, they're the best children I could hope for.  I'm
happy with my life and where I am and what I hope the QSA can do is bring
together not just the gay community here on campus, but also be a group that
breaks down the stereotypes of gay people.  We don't all have AIDS, we don't
all sleep around, we're just like everyone else in that we want to be happy
and have our voices heard."
There was applause from the crowd and just for a second Dr. Taylor looked
overwhelmed.

Joey spoke up next, "Hi my name is Joey and I'm a freshmen here.  Umm...I've
known I was gay since I was probably like 4 years old.  And I never felt
like there was anything wrong with it.  My mom and I have a difficult
relationship...not because I'm gay...but I don't know, I don't feel like my life
has changed very much since everyone started to find out or talk about my
sexuality.  I was never really all that athletic or I guess as masculine as
some of the other guys in middle school were, and I would get teased and
stuff.  I was never like beaten up or anything, just people would make
comments about me and how I must be gay because I threw a football funny or
the way I walked.  I never let it bother me that much cause I feel like that
was their hang up not mine.  Sometimes it gets lonely, just because people
always act like being gay is like this...strange weird thing that is just so
different from anything else.  But my older brother...it's so funny cause he's
like this army kind of straight guy, he doesn't talk very much, and he
always has this serious expression on his face, but I love him so much cause
he's always been there for me.  And when I told him I was gay, he gave me a
hug and said that doesn't matter to me, I love you.  Even though I was sure
before that there was nothing wrong with me, that confirmed it, my brother
is awesome and I love him more than myself sometimes."

Unfortunately, the next two testimonies did not have positive endings, as
the students recounted vicious confrontations with family members and how
some of them still don't speak to them to this day, because their family
members believe that being gay is wrong.

"We're going to sort of do ours together." Richard started.

"So much of our story is together, I guess." Toby said, "You want to go
first?"

"Yeah, umm...I think I'm still learning about sexuality in general.  For a
long time I thought I was gay.  And I think one of the negative things about
that is even people who were 100% ok with my sexuality felt the need to like
push me into well if you're gay you only like guys.  I've always been
attracted to both girls and guys, so it was very weird for me to suddenly
feel like I could only date guys because then everyone would be like oh, I
though you were gay.  I fixed that recently, I cam out to my boyfriend as bi
sexual..."

"How did he take it?" Toby smiled.

"He was confused I think, probably still is, but he's been awesome and
patient with me about it I think."

"In case you haven't caught on, we're a couple." Toby laughed.

Some people in the crowd chuckled and Richard continued, "I never felt the
need to hide my sexuality, I was out to everyone in like 7th grade."

"But you were always the tallest and biggest kid, so that isn't saying
much." Toby interrupted.

Richard laughed along with the crowd this time, "True, but yeah.  I've found
for the most part once you get older people usually don't care too much, I
still think that more can be done to further rights and equality for gay
people  so that people don't feel the need to hide."

It was not Toby's turn to take over the story, "We actually met in middle
school back in 6th grade.  I didn't know I was gay then, just cause I never
really thought about it.  I know that sounds weird, cause that's like the
age when you start to like people, but I guess I just wasn't concerned with
it.  We weren't even really friends until we got to high school and we were
on the tennis team together.  By then I knew I was gay, but I hadn't dated
anyone or anything.  He turned it on thick though, I don't think I had much
of a choice in whether or not I was going to be his friend and then later
his boyfriend.  I'm one of those people that it's hard for me to tolerate
homophobia or anything.  My family is really religious and when I told them
I know they had trouble with and some of them still do, but they love me so
much that they're ok with not understanding it, though I'm not sure what
exactly there is to understand."

The crowd applauded, and Dr. Taylor took center stage again. "Is there
anyone else who would like to speak?  Ok then, thank you very much for
attending and if you want more information about what the QSA does, I'll
stay put for a little while to answer any questions."

Eric bolted for his seat; he didn't want to talk to anyone right now, he
just wanted to get in his car and go for a ride to hopefully clear his head.

Cooper heard a knock at his door.  He was very tempted not to answer it
because he didn't want to bothered.  He tried to look through the peep hole,
but someone's finger was blocking Cooper's ability to see out.  He opened
the door, even more annoyed than before.  He saw Kevin standing in front of
him, "Please let me in!" Kevin said hurriedly.

Cooper knew he was going to let Kevin in, but he made him wait for a few
moments before he allowed him in.

"I'm all packed, and everything that I'm taking is in a corner in my room so
I can do it easily tomorrow morning when I leave to go home."

"Ok."

"I'm leaving at like 5 tomorrow morning, so this is the last time we'll see
each other for a while.  So is there anything you want to say before I
leave?"

"You know everything I wanted to say already."

The two boys had been standing several feet from each other, but now Kevin
closed the difference until he was standing right in front of Cooper.  They
were standing, eyeball to eyeball, neither saying a word, Kevin moved
forward and kissed Cooper on the lips.  Cooper stood there frozen, not sure
what to say or do.  He'd wanted to kiss Kevin so badly for so long, that he
was through the roof, but at the same time he wanted to punch him in the
face for leaving him.  Kevin broke the kiss, but remained very close to
Cooper, "I love you, and I know it doesn't mean the same thing to me as it
does to you...but I just thought you should know that I really wish I could
love you like that."

Cooper went to bed that night, not sure anything had been solved or
accomplished with Kevin.  He felt like things had been left in the air, with
no definite conclusion to put the issue in its place.  But maybe that was a
good thing, Cooper thought right before he began to dream, because then that
meant Kevin would have to return, so that it, whatever it was, could be
solved once and for all.


Any questions, comments, words of encouragement, or constructive criticisms
can be e mailed to tenniswiz12@msn.com.  Always love to hear from you guys.
I apologize if there are any typos or anything. I didn't have time to proof
read this one, hopefully there aren't too many.