I walked into the room, it had gotten dark out and the room was pitch black. Jay must have closed the blinds and curtains. I could hear the small sounds of his breathing from the far side of the room. I wasn't comfortable with the layout of the room, so the next ten minutes where spent with me clambering around the room like a fool. Finally I decided to crawl over to my bed, because stumping my toes was getting old. I crouched down and started to move slowly when the whole room was illuminated in bright yellow, that I had to squint my eyes closed.

Jay peered from his bed rubbing his eyes, and looking at me with a confused face. I felt my face flush in embarrassment, and I quickly stood up.

"What where you doing?" asked Jay his voice laced with heavy sleep.

"I erm, I was looking for something," I stuttered my voice wavering slightly.

"You could have just woken me up, instead of crawling around the room trying to find your bed," smiled Jay.

I flushed again. I should realise by now that Jay was an intuitive person, and there was no point in lying to him.

"I didn't want to disturb you," I said pathetically.

He merely kept smiling, "Look Holden you don't need to act a certain way just for me. We're roommates and we live together. You don't need to give me space and quiet time all the time. I don't want you to feel trapped."

It's only been a day and I have drama in my life. I nodded my head and grinned at him.

"Anyway you should have woken me up because we are going out for dinner."

I flushed again, and Jay laughed softly. He rolled out of his bed only dressed in loose boxers and a black T-shirt. His tanned legs and arms strutted out in magnificent muscles. His hair was mussed and his face had the look of a sleep haze. He looked beautiful. I sighed deeply letting my eyes drift over his figure drinking his perfection in.

"I'm going to take a quick shower."

I nodded my head and made my way over to my dresser and pulled out some smart but cool clothes. Pulling out my stone wash jeans and a button down red shirt I quickly donned them on. I was pulling on my black leather shoes, when I heard a knock on the door. I walked over with one shoe on and the other off and pulled open the door. Jea stood on the other side with a bright smile, and looked stunning. Wearing tight black jeans and a white button down shirt fitted snugly across his chest. His blonde hair was straight as ever and held a healthy shine.

Jea saw me look at him head and toe, and laughed lightly, "You look good too," he mused winking at me and pushing past me into my room. I flushed once again, mentally scolded myself and closed the door.

"Thanks. Jay is having a shower, he should be out soon. He took his clothes in with him so he'll be done as soon as he gets out."

Jea nodded his head and sat down on my bed, "Cool room, much bigger than some here."

I shrugged my shoulder, "My room was smaller so size doesn't matter to me. I'm use to small sizes anyway."

Jea grinned, "I don't know how you did it."

I rolled my eyes, "Rich boy."

Jea laughed loudly. We continued to chat idly until Jay burst into the room dressed in black trousers, a tight black top, with his hair mussed in an `I just don't care' look that would only work for Jay. His blue eyes shone brightly in contrast to his all black look.

"Hey Jea", yelled Jay loudly. I stood stunned for a minute not understanding why Jay had to literally scream that out with Jea standing two feet in front of him.

Jea laughed slowly, and gave a small wave while Jay put on his black boots. Quickly shoving them on and dabbing on some cologne, Jay stood up and presented himself to us with a wave of a hand.

Jea grinned, "The survey says...very hot."

I looked over at Jea laughing, I guess shock graced my features evidently, as he looked over at me and raised his eyebrows, "I have nothing against admitting a guy looks good."

Jay whistled and nodded his head, "That a man. Come on and let's eat. I've made reservations at Danyo".

"Holy crap really. Man even I have a hard time getting in there. I only went there once with my parents and that was two years ago," laughed Jea.

"Yeah they are so busy. But lucky me and my contacts," smiled Jay,

The two fell into and easy conversation, they walked side by side leaving me alone in the back trailing after them. I sighed deeply; I admit I felt sorry for myself. Jay had this amazing aura around him, no matter whom the person was he would be able to converse with them. Jea and Jay couldn't be more far apart as personalities go, yet for the twenty minute walk to Danyo they chatted like they had been best friends since birth.

We finally reached the restaurant, Jay pulled open the door ushering Jea in and letting the door go, for me to grab. That hurt, but I sucked it up and pulled the door open and followed them to the hostess booth where Jay said his name. The waiter nodded and took us to a back table and seated the three of us. I let my eyes linger of the décor of the restaurant; it was posh and sleek, with shiny floors and tables and bars. The tinge of deep orange and reds that graced the walls and the cloths of the table made it less cold and warmer. Soft jazz music was playing, not on a CD player, but an actual live band. The place was rather amazing.

Jea and Jay had seemed to keep their conversation going, and I stared dumbly at them. The waiter came and took our order. I ordered smoked salmon with a side of dressing and salad. The food came and went and the guys continued to talk amongst themselves, never once talking to me. Believe me two hours of that and I had enough. I excused myself and made an excuse to go to the bathroom. Jea waved a hand at me, and I couldn't have felt more offended. I went up to the waiter that was serving our table, and asked him if he could give me my bill separately. I wasn't sure if that was at all possible, but he nodded his head rung up my meal and gave me the receipt. Eighty dollars for a smoked salmon and a coke was extortionate, but I paid for my meal tipped the guy, and left the restaurant and headed back to the dorms.

That was the last time I would be splurging out 90 dollars for food and tip for the next four years, I wrapped my jacket around me tighter and walked as fast as I could back to the dorms. It was cold as hell. I guess I should have admitted that I was possessive and over-dramatic at times, but damn I never felt so left out in my life. I quickly approached the dorms and took off running, it really was damned cold.

Getting into my room, I quickly changed into my pyjamas and headed for my bed jumping in and wrapping the duvet and blanket around me. It took at least ten minutes until I could feel my balls again, and it felt good. I guess I drifted off because I felt a hand on my cheek, and small whispering, and the sound of the door closing. I quickly opened my eyes and stared into Jay's face, and I wish I hadn't done that but I screamed for a good minute before I burst out laughing. I covered my face with my hands and continue to laugh, as Jay stood there in shock.

My laughing slowly subsided and I felt embarrassed for my little out break. It was just hilarious. Jay approached me cautiously and sat down at the edge of my bed.

"You okay?" he asked.

I continued to giggle, and nodded my head, "Yeah...erm sorry about that, you were so close and I kinda freaked, and then I laughed because it was funny."

Jay smiled shaking his head, "Thank God I thought you'd gone crazy there."

I sighed deeply.

"What the fuck happened?" he asked suddenly.

I truly forgot what the heck he was talking about, as comfortable silence had enveloped us.

"Why did you bail?" he asked again.

I suddenly felt stupid and childish. What was I going to say to him? Thoughts and excuses whirled around in my head and I didn't know which one to bloody use.


Okay so I didn't know which one to use, so I used both of the over-used `get me out of jail cards' ever used.

"Oh. How are you feeling, and is everything okay back home?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah you know climate change, and my mum just wanted to talk."

I was lying and it kinda hurt. I was forcing it through my teeth and it felt weird.

"Sure. Wanna try that again?" asked Jay.

I lowered my head. I wasn't use to lying, it wasn't me, not even when I realised I was gay. I told my parents a few days after and my friends after that.

"I kinda felt left out," I said quietly.

Jay lifted my chin to face him and smiled at me sweetly, "I'm sorry Holden I talk everyone's ear off."

I shrugged my shoulders. I felt uncomfortable lying but I knew when someone was lying to me, and Jay was and I didn't understand why, but it was something to do with Jea. I guess he could tell because he sighed deeply.

"Okay I like him, and I was just trying to get to know him."

My throat felt restricted I felt my eyes bulge out and the colour drain from my face. Yes I am dramatic, move on.

"But he's...straight."

Jay smiled, "I've hooked up with enough `straight guys' Holden it doesn't mean anything."

"So you just want sex?" I asked and now I felt offended that Jay would use Jea like that.

Jay grinned, "He's gorgeous why not. I'm not into relationships, mostly because I feel that we are too young for them. I love sex so why not find someone who doesn't mind that."

"And from everyone here you chose Jea the only friend I have made," I asked my voice rising.

"Why are you acting like a jealous boyfriend?"

"I'm not, I just feel that this is wrong."

"I'm sorry you feel that way Holden, but Jea and I like each other and the rest really isn't your business."

I guess that was the end because Jay stood up bid me a goodnight and headed off to get changed and sleep the night away. I leaned back into my bed pulled the covers over me, and lay silently thinking about Jea and Jay.





Proof read by Morgan

Danyo is a made up restaurant