Where I Belong

Chapter 2: The Day After

Matt awoke the next morning to the sound of the alarm on Jason's cellphone. Jason jumped over Matt and out of bed to turn it off.

"Fuck it's cold" he said climbing back into bed with Matt.

"That might just be because you don't have any clothes on"

"Oh yeah, that must be it. Did you sleep alright?"

Matt smiled "Never slept better. You?"

"Not bad" he said, propping his head up with his elbow.

"What time is it anyway?"

"About seven,"

"Oh man, that's way to early to wake on a Sunday, let me sleep," Matt said ducking his head under the covers

Jason yanked the covers back down "Sorry, I wake the same time every day, and it's my bed, so my rules. Besides, I think we'll both need a shower before breakfast"

"Oh yeah," Matt looked down at his chest, which was coated in dried cum from the night before, "Now, how did that get there?"

"I think it magically appeared about the same time I was fucking your brains out"

"Oh right, I think I remember it now"

"Damn you're a sarky bastard!" Jason lent over and kissed Matt's forehead, "Also has anyone ever told you that you have an amazingly tight arse?"

"Well, since you're the first person other than me to touch it ... no,"

"Oh shit! You were a virgin? I'm so sorry. I just assumed you'd messed around before on the down-low or something,"

"No need to be sorry, it was amazing. Better than I had ever imagined."

"Yeah but your first time – it should have been something special with a boyfriend, not just a fuck with a mate"

Hearing those words made Matt's stomach tighten into a knot. He had thought that the previous night was the starting point of a relationship with Jason, but to hear that Jason thought of it as nothing more than a fun fuck with a mate hurt him terribly. He had suffered heartbreak in the past when guys he liked had gotten girlfriends and he was used to hiding his emotions, so his face didn't betray him.

"Don't worry about it, I had fun. I wouldn't change it for the world."

"OK, so long as you're sure?"

"I'm fine." He paused "So is that all you're into then? Or are you hoping to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend while you're here?"

"I dunno. I'm not going out looking for love but if the right girl, or guy, comes along, who knows. What about you?"

"Not sure. I haven't given it much thought" Matt said. He was lying of course, he longed for a boyfriend, someone to share his soul with, and until a few moments ago he thought it could have been Jason.

"Well you'll make someone a lovely wife some day" Jason said with a grin

"Fuck off" Matt responded with a playful shove.

"Come on, I need a shower"

Jason pulled on his boxers and grabbed a towel. Matt pulled on his boxer briefs and grabbed the rest of the clothing he had discarded last night. He pulled his room keys out of his pockets and followed Jason out of the room. He walked the two doors down to his room in order to dump his clothes and grab his wash stuff.

As much as he enjoyed spending time with Jason, Matt needed some time alone with his thoughts, so spent rather longer in the shower than was normal. Jason called in "Hey man, I'm heading down to breakfast, see you down there"

When Matt walked in to the refectory, Jason was sitting with Connor, Ian and another guy who he hadn't met. Grabbing his breakfast he sat down at the table with the guys.

"Matt, this is Alan, he plays rugby with me" said Ian. "his is the room between you and Jason"

They shook hands.

"So, did this noisy fucker keep you up all night?" Said Alan gesturing to Jason.

"Sorry?" said Matt.

"He kept me awake half the night shagging some chick, I had to put my headphones on to block out the noise"

"How do you know it was a chick? He swings both ways remember?" said Ian

Connor looked at Matt and raised an eyebrow quizzically. Matt said nothing and just blushed a little and concentrated on buttering his toast.

"Good point" said Alan "so who was it then?"

Jason just smiled and said "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."

"A gentleman might not, but you sure as hell ain't a gentlemen."

"Mind your own beeswax. So what's the plan for today?" Jason said changing the subject.

"Well I've got to go to church." said Connor "You're all more than welcome to join me"

"You go to church?" asked Ian.

"Yeah. My father is a minister, so I kind of have to"

"What church are you going to?" Asked Matt

"Not sure, there isn't one of my father's denomination here, so I have a few I plan to try out for the next few weeks. See if I can find one I like"

"I'll come with you"

Matt and Connor headed out.

"So, reading between the lines, it was you with Jason last night?"

Matt nodded

"So are you two an item then?"

"I don't think so. Jason just saw it as a hookup"

"And you?"

"I'd like something more. I mean I really like him. But ... Oh hell, I don't know"

"Is he even looking for a boyfriend?"

"He said if the right guy comes along. So maybe"

"Does he know you're interested in him in that way?"

"I don't think so." Matt looked into Connor's piercing blue eyes. "You know, you're very easy to talk to, I barely know you and I'm telling you everything"

"My grandpa is a shrink, maybe I picked it up off him"

"Or your dad. I'm guessing being a minister he's good at listening"

"Not my dad. He's more into telling people about the fires of hell than listening to their problems"

"Is that the sort of church we're going to? A fire and brimstone type"

"I hope not. I'm not even sure I beleieve in God, but I made a deal with my dad, I can only come to uni if I go to church on Sunday, so I have to find one that both he and I can accept"

"He sounds strict"

"The strictest, What about you folks, what do they do?"

"Mom's a doctor and Dad's a lawyer"

"How did you persuade them to let you come over here?"

"I didn't, they persuaded me. I'd have been happy staying at home and going to my local college, but apparently 'university is a once in a lifetime opportunity' and I shouldn't waste it"

"Any siblings?"

"I have a younger brother, Kyle. He's only thirteen so we're not very close, but I love him. You?"

"A sister, she's fourteen. Me and Aaliyah don't really get on."

"Aaliyah? Like the singer?"

"It's a biblical name, Dad's kind of into that."

Matt couldn't think of anyone in the bible called Connor. 'I guess he got religion after Connor was born' he thought to himself. Not wishing to pry he asked "So where is this church then?"

"That one over there"

They walked in and sat at the back

An hour later they walked out

"I am so sorry" said Connor

"Don't worry about it"

"No really, that was awful. I think that guy is even more fundamentalist that my father"

"It's fine. In fact, now he's told me I'll go to hell for being gay, I'm cured. Quick, lets find a woman with big tits"

"Ha ha, very funny"

"Seriously, like they say, sticks and stones may break my bones"

"OK, but that one is definitely off my list"

"Back to the halls?"

"Nah, lets go get something to eat, on me"

They sat in a branch of subway, both with a 12" sub and a coke.

"So, what's your girlfriend like?" Asked Matt.

"Her name's Emma, she went to school with me, about 5'7, dark hair, studies English at Liverpool Uni"

"How long you been together?"

"Five years"

"Wow, you must really love her"

"I guess. She can be a bit of a nag sometimes"

"So why you with her then?"

"I come from a small town, there were only eight girls in my years, and two of them were my cousins. I didn't have a great deal of choice."

"I know that story, there weren't any out gay guys in my entire school."

"So, no boyfriend growing up then?"

"I wish. No, a life of celibacy was my only option. I couldn't date girls, I would feel like crap for deceiving her."

"Hmmm I guess. No-one got suspicious then?"

"I don't think so. If they did they never mentioned it to me"

"Well you don't exactly act gay"

"Thanks, I think"

"So ready for lectures to start tomorrow?"

"I suppose"

Connor's phone began to ring. He answered it, Matt idly listened to the half of the conversation that he could here.

"Hey buddy, what's up?"

"Subway, grabbing a bite to eat."

"Where abouts?"

"Hold on, I'm with Matt, I'll ask him"

"It's Ian. Him and Jason are heading into the city and wondered if we wanted to join them"

"Yeah, ok"

Connor returned to his phone.

"Matt says yeah, we'll see you in about twenty"

* * * * *

A few hours later the four of them arrived back at the halls of residence, a little the worse for drink as all four of them had managed to get a part time Job, Ian a barman in a stylish bar, an the others as ushers/till staff at a cinema. Jason had wanted them to stay out celebrating, but as their lectures began the following day, and they all had their first training shift the following evening, the others persuaded him back.

Connor pulled Matt to one side

"You really like him don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"The way you've been looking at Jason this evening, you've got it bad"

"Maybe, I mean he's really flirty and after last night it would be easy to fall for him, but..."

"But you don't want to fuck everything up"


"Good luck. You're gonna need it"

* * * * *

Monday morning and Matt headed to his lectures. While over the last few days he had made some good friends, none of them were on the same course as him, so in many ways it was back to square one. Nobody spoke to him during the first lecture and as the lecturer was very boring and doing little more than going over the course syllabus he let his mind wander back to the events of Saturday. He grew hard remembering the passionate sex he has shared with Jason. When the lecture ended he was too embaressed to stand and spent several minutes sorting stuff out in his bag. By the time he was able to stand he was running late and had to run for his tutorial. This was a smaller affair and there were only a dozen students in a small room. The room had tables, each of which could accomodate two people. There was only one seat free so he sat down next to an attractive girl with long light brown hair.

"Hi, I'm Mel" she said introducing herself.

"Matt. Nice to meet you"

"You're American?"

"Yeah, from Des Moines"

"It's a cute accent"

"Thanks, I like yours, where are you from?

Mel said a word that sounded totally alien to Matt's ears

"I'm sorry, what?"

"It's a town in Wales, its written 'L-L-A-N-E-L-L-I'"

"Ok, say it again?"

She did so

"Clanethly" matt tried

"Not quite, but probably close enogh"

"I've never heard of it before, I'm afraid."

"If I'm honest, I don't really know where Des Moine is. Its in the middle somewhere right?"

"Not quite, but probably close enough" he replied with a cheeky grin.

* * * * *

After the lecture, Mel suggested they go get a coffee at the student union. Over their drinks they each got to know each other better. Matt was really enjoying her company. After half an hour, Mel finished her coffee.

"Well here I am flirting my tits off and nothing, so I've got to ask, are you involved with someone already, gay or hopelessly naīve?"

Matt went bright red

"Sorry, I didn't realise. I'm... Well the thing is ..." He gulped and took a deep breath "I'm gay. And pretty naīve too I guess"

"Don't worry about it. So two out of thee then? No special guy in you life?"

"No. Well yes. No"

"Well that sounds intrigueing."

"There is a guy I like, but it probably won't work out. So no. There's no-one in my life at the moment"

"Cool. Then you and I are going to hit the gay bars and find you a man."

"What now?"

"Of course not now. All the good men are drinking coffees and chatting with their new fag hags. We'll go Thursday, there a bar near the waterfront which has 2 for 1 cocktail for student night and we are so getting some of that"

* * * * *

Thursday night came and Mel and Matt went out as planned. They were joined by one of Mel's friends, Beth, a lesbian from London, and Jason, who insisted he come along when he found out where they were going.

Matt really tried to have a good time, but any of the guys that tried to chat with him, just didn't match up to what he wanted.

Unfortunately, what he wanted was, for most of the night, chatting up other men.

Mel sat down next to Matt.

"Ok misery guts. Spill."

"What do you mean?"

"You've blown off at least four really good-looking men, and not in the good way. Plus you're sitting here with a face like a cat's arse. So what gives?"

"None of them interested me"

"Let me guess. Because of the guy you are interested in?"

Matt just looked into his drink and gently nodded.

"And a further guess, your buddy Jason is the guy?"

"Yeah. I don't know why though, I mean I've only known him a week, how could I have fallen for him so hard"

"The heart is a strange organ"

"I'm sorry, this isn't much fun for you"

"It's cool. Look Beth hooked up with someone and headed back to hers, and Jason looks like he's getting on well with that guy, so how about we call it a night and head back to campus."

Back in his room, Matt tried to cheer himself up by Skyping home. His brother was all excited about being picked to start in his next basketball game. While Matt was proud of his little brother, even the 13 year old's enthusiasm couldn't pull him out of his funk.

After the call, he left his room for a piss before bed. As he passed Jason's room, he heard the unmistakable sounds of sex. Matt felt as if a knife had been plunged into his heart. He returned to his room and without even undressing, he sobbed gently to sleep.

Author's Note

This is my first story, and I welcome any feedback, both positive and negative. I can be contacted at gayessex+wib@gmail.com. I was overwhelmed to receive so much positive feedback from chapter one. It turns out I am a whore for feedback - I donated £1 to nifty for each person who emailed me (Nifty is a non-profit so if you use the site - please donate). I hope that the lack of sex in this chapter does not put you off from continuing to read the story; the sex will return in future chapters.

© J Hardy 2012-2013