Where I Belong

Chapter 3: Costumes

By the end of October, Matt had settled into his new routine; he had lectures Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, and worked all day Wednesday (along with Jason), all day Saturday (With Connor) and on Thursday nights (with neither of them).

On Sunday he went to church with Connor, they had eventually settled on a Church of England church, which was conservative enough to satisfy Connor's father and liberal enough to not to put off the two friends.

Through all this, his friendship with Jason continued to develop. Jason would at times be incredibly close, touching him, putting his arms round him, acting flirtatiously, but whenever Matt thought that Jason was interested in him romantically and tried to reciprocate, Jason drifted away and rebuffed his advances. There had been no repeat of the night where they had had sex, an event that fueled all of Matt's jerk-off fantasies.

Jason had taken Matt to a few meetings of the university LGB society, but Matt had stopped going. He had explained to Connor that there were three types of people going there, the lesbians, who held no interest for him; the politicals, who were only interested in fighting for more rights, which as he said "Gays in this country have more rights than we do in some of the states back home, why should I care?"; and the guys who were only using the group to meet guys to hook up with. Matt wasn't looking for another hookup, he wanted a boyfriend. More specifically he wanted Jason. And watching Jason hitting on other guys, and other guys hitting on Jason was not Matt's idea of a good time.

He had also grown closer to Connor as well, but while Matt had opened up to him, Connor would never divulge much about his home life. Matt was ashamed to admit that he didn't actually know Connor's last name. He assumed he had been told it when they met, but subsequently forgotten it. He distinctly remember being told Ian's surname, but it had slipped his mind almost immediately and he felt far too embarrassed to ask. It was only by taking a surreptitious glance at Ian's mail over breakfast one morning that he had found out it was McLeod. He had not had any such luck finding out Connor's last name. Despite this, he was Matt's confident and they would have long conversations over lunch after church.

It was Friday evening, and Matt was writing an email to his mom. Jason had announced that morning that they would all be going out that night. Despite Matt and Connor's protestations that they had work the following day, Jason insisted and told them he would swing by their rooms after dinner to pick them up. So when there was a knock on his door, Matt was expecting it.

"Come in," he yelled. As the door opened, Matt looked up to confirm it was Jason as he has expected. "Hey buddy, just writing an email to my mom, take a seat, I'll be with you in a minute"

"No worries."

Matt returned to his email, but stole a quick glance over to the chair.

"Hey, have you had your hair done?" he asked.

"Yeah, got it trimmed and new highlights this afternoon. What do you think?"

"Looks good", Matt replied. He actually thought it look extremely hot, but had been trying had to be less overt about his attraction to Jason. He looked over again. There was something else different, but he couldn't put his finger on it. The soccer shirt he wore was one he had not seen before, with long sleeves rather than the normal short ones, but that wasn't it. He looked puzzled

"Something the Matter?"

"You look ..." Matt began, before realising what it was. He was skinnier. But how could someone lose weight in a day. He smiled as the penny dropped. Standing up he held out his hand.

"Hi, I'm Matt, you must be Joshua"

"Josh is fine" he responded, before looking at his phone and shouting "One minute, twelve seconds, bitch!"

The door opened and the real Jason walked in. "Damn it Matt, I thought you'd have worked it out a hell of a lot earlier. I had bet that you'd get it in less than a minute"

"Sorry, bud, I was writing an email, or I would have realised sooner. So what's up with your hair?" Jason's hair had been dyed black and looked like Josh's had looked like in the pictures Matt had seen of him.

Josh replied "It's hallowe'en, we're in fancy dress"

"Erm, as who?"

"As each other" they both replied together.

"So you lost your bet then?" Matt said to Jason

"Not yet, it's best of three, still got to try Connor and Ian. I hope for my sake that they know me better than you"

"And what are the stakes?"

Josh laughed.

"That's between me and my brother" said Jason.

"Come on Josh, dish the dirt"

"Maybe later, but trust me, I have plenty of dirt on him"

"Oh god, Josh, don't reveal all my secrets"

"We'll see"

They all went to Ian's next. He realised in a little less than a minute, making the score one each, after which they all went to Connor's. Josh went in and after about five minutes of waiting in the hall, Matt got bored and knocked on the door.

"Come in"

They all walked in. Connor said "Hi guys ... what the fuck?" as he noticed Jason

"Connor, meet my brother Josh"

"They had a bet on to see how long it would take us to notice they'd switched. I'm the only one that realised in less than a minute," said Ian.

"Which means, little bro, that I win"


"So what were the stakes?" Matt asked

"Erm ... sleeping positions, who gets the bed and who gets the floor. I guess I'm on the floor now"

"You guess right bitch" said Josh with a smirk.

They sat around in Connor's room for a while shooting the shit before Jason tried to get them all to go out to a bar. Ian had to decline as he had a date with a girl, Emma, that he had met in his class. Matt and Connor weren't too keen either, having to work the following day, but eventually agreed to go for a few. While Connor was in the bathroom, his phone went off and not wanting him to miss a call, Matt answered the phone.

"Connor's phone"

"Who is this?"

"This is Matt."

"May I speak to Isaiah please?"

"Sorry to who?"

"To Isaiah"

"I think you've dialled the wrong number"

"I assure you young man, I have done no such thing"

At that moment Connor walked in

"Can you hold on please," Matt said to the phone, "Dude, there's a guy on your phone asking to speak to Isaiah"

Connor sighed and took hold of the phone.

"Hi Dad, sorry about that, I had just stepped out"

a pause

"That was Matt, he is a friend of mine"

"Yes he goes to church with me"

"You know I'm not fond of that name, they all know me as 'Connor'"

"Yes Dad, I know"

"Ok I'll see you then"

He hung up and turned to his friends

"Well, I made it two months before you found out my secret"

"Seriously?" said Ian "your name is I-fucking-saiah"

"Yep, Isaiah Abraham Connor. Can you blame me for going by Connor?"

"Hell no" said Jason and Josh together

"Any more dark secrets we should know about?" asked Matt.

"Yeah, but I ain't fucking telling you. Right, well I need a drink now, so where we headed?"

* * * * *

Matt woke with a killer headache the next morning. He threw back a couple of ibuprofen and started to get ready for work. He pulled out his uniform t-shirt only to see a huge stain that he had forgotten about. It was too late to get it washed and dried in time, he had to leave in half an hour. he didn't have a spare, Connor would be using his. He ran shirtless to Jason's room and knocked on the door

"Please be awake" he said to himself

"Who is it?"

"It's Matt. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come on in"

Matt opened the door to see both of the brothers in bed together. Matt paused for a second to see who was who. Jason was still fast asleep while Josh sat up in bed shirtless with a book on his lap.

"Hey buddy, thought you were at work today?"

"Yeah, I need to steal Jasons work shirt, mine has a stain, and I have to leave in a bit."

"Uh ok, do you know where it is or should i wake him?"

"Yeah, he keeps it in his drawer."

Matt walked over to the drawer and pulled out the shirt and pulled it on.

"If you leave the stained one with me I'll wash it for you if you like"

"Seriously? That would be awesome"

"No worries, I don't mind doing laundry, and I have to some of this lazy fuckers anyway," he said gesturing to his sleeping twin.

"You'll make some lady a fine husband one day"

"Other than it being a lady you're damn right I will"

"You're gay then?"

"Yep. Same as you"

"Jason told you that?"

"Well, he actually said he'd hooked up with a hot American guy with an amazing arse. I just assumed it was you."

"I guess so"

"Well unless he's holding out on the sexy yanks..."

Matt looked away from Josh's face with embarrassment. Looking down he noticed the scars on Josh's arms.

Josh noticed Matt staring.

"Did he tell you about this?" he said gesturing to his arms

Matt shook his head

"I did some pretty stupid stuff a few years back. Heroin. Jase was amazing; he helped me kick it. He even offered to switch places with me when I got jailed for dealing." he paused "Don't mention it to anyone, he doesn't really want anyone to know about his worthless ex-con junkie brother"

"I know he doesn't think like that. You can tell by the way that he talks about you"

"Hey, don't you have work to go to?"

"Oh yeah, I'll catch you guys later"

As Matt ran out the door he collided with Alan.

"Hey buddy" said Alan "I guess there's my answer"

"Hey. What's the question?"

"Who that noisy bastard was shagging last night"

"What? No! I was just borrowing a clean shirt"

"Oh fuck, sorry. I just assumed ... my bad."

"It's ok"

Matts mind went back to Jason and Josh in bed together and wondered if it had been them? He looked at the time as he walked off, and realising he would be late to meet Connor he broke into a run.

* * * * *

"Thank fuck that days over," Matt said to Connor as they left work that evening.

Connor just nodded in response

"You ok? You've been quiet all day."

"Sorry. Got a lot on my mind, my family are visiting tomorrow."

"It will be all right. You're doing well in your classes. You go to church every week. you've got nothing to be worried about"

"Dad will find a fault. He always does"

"What with"

"Honestly, my friends"

"What? Us? Why?"

"My three best friends are a gay guy, a bisexual and a catholic. I don't know which one he will think is worse, but you are all going to hell as far as he is concerned and you will drag me down with you"

"Damn straight, we can make smores for all eternity"

"What are 'smores'"

"You don't have smores in this country? Seriously?"

"Don't think so. What are they?"

"To make a smore, you toast a marshmallow on the camp-fire - or the fires of hell in this case - and then sandwich it between two graham crackers, I guess your digestive biscuits will do, with a bit of chocolate. The chocolate melts into the marshmallow into a big gooey mess"

"And they're good?"

"Hey you'll always want s'more"

"Oh ok, sounds nice, but back to the point, my Dad is going to hate you if he finds out."

"Don't worry, I can be discreet, its not like ill be wearing hotpants and a crop top"

"That would be good, and i hate to be a bitch, but would you mind dressing a little more formally for church, like a shirt and trousers"

"Sure thing, you can count on me"

They arrived at the bar they were heading to and found Jason and Josh at a table.

"The working boys return"

"Hey guys" said Matt

Josh handed Connor a twenty pound note. and said to him "You get the beers in"; he turned to Matt "You get the next dance"; and finally turning to Jason "and you, guard the coats or something"

He grabbed Matt's hand and dragged him to the small dance floor.

"Hey I'm not much of a dancer I'm afraid"

"Doesn't Matter, we're just having a good time, not trying to win Strictly"

"But I've never danced with a guy before"

"You danced with a girl?"

"Yeah, a friend at prom"

"Well then, I'll let you lead"

They danced through most of an upbeat number before the DJ put on a ballad.

Josh asked Matt "You up for a slow dance?"

"I'm not sure how gay friendly they'd be here"

"Fuck `em, its a free country" he moved closer to Matt and placed his hands round Matts slim waist. Matt copied the gesture, but was extremely tense. half way through the song he started to relax and began to enjoy himself. when the song ended, Josh kissed Matt briefly on the lips and pulled him back to the table. "come on, beers will be getting warm."

They returned to the table where Connor was explaining to Jason about his father.

"He sounds like a dick, why do you put up with him?"

"He's paying for me to be here"

"Well, hes not paying for me, so don't expect me to kowtow to him tomorrow"

"I think Connor will try and keep you and him far apart" Matt said

"Always best to keep Jase away from anyone" Josh said with a chuckle.

Jason grabbed Josh and they began to tussle as they laughed. Matt watched with amusement until he felt Connor's eyes on him.

"What's up dude?

"Nothing. I was just ... thinking"

"What about?"

"Tomorrow, my Dad, you guys, life, the universe and everything"

"Theres a cure for that kind of thinking" said Jason


"More Beer!"

Connor left after another hour or so. they were all pretty drunk by then. Matt and Josh were still at the table chatting to each other while Jason was at the bar chatting up a girl.

Josh, can i ask you something a bit weird?"


"Alan, who lives next door to Jase, always complains when Jason has company, because he's very noisy having sex"

"Yeah, he's always been a noisy bastard"

"Well he said that last night ..." Matt paused not being sure how to finish the sentence

"He heard Jase having sex?" suggested Josh


"And you were wondering if it was me that Josh was with last night?"


"Would it freak you out if it was?"

"No, I mean you're both really hot, and, well, i mean it's a little weird, but ... I was just wondering"

"The answer's `yes', Jason and I had sex last night."

"Ok. Do you do that often? Sorry I'm being nosy, I'll shut up"

"It's fine. We've been having sex for years. That's actually what that bet was about yesterday. Usually he's a top, but I won the bet, so i did him for a change"

"You going to do it again tonight?"

"Wow, I must be losing my touch. I was rather hoping to go back to your room with you."


"Yes. Why not?"

"I dunno"

"Jason said he had a great time with you, I thought we could have some fun if you were up for it."

"He spoke to you about us"

"Of course"

"Does he know that you want to sleep with me?"

"Why do you think he's made himself scarce?"


"If you don't want to, thats fine."

Matt didn't say anything for a moment as a torrent of thoughts whirled round his head. He wanted to sleep with Jason, but it did not seem as if that would happen again anytime soon. Josh was almost identical to Jason, but was it fair on anyone for him to do this, yet on the other hand Josh wanted it, and Jason seemed ok with it. "Fuck it" he thought

"Why not" he said at long last.

Josh smiled. "let's have a few more drinks and then head back"

An hour later and they were sitting on the edge of Matt's bed making out. Josh pulled Matt down on top of him. Matt's hand explored Josh's slim physique as their tongues wrestled. He noticed how similar Josh's technique was to Jason's. As they were the only two people he had ever kissed, he didn't have a frame of reference and he wondered if everyone kissed the same or of it was just because they were twins. He was nervous about his inexperience but tried to keep it out of his mind and to just enjoy the sensations.

Josh pulled at the hem of Matt's t-shirt and pulled it up, only breaking the kiss to lift it over his head. Matt lifted himself up and admired the man beneath him. He undid Josh's shirt, kissing down his torso as he exposed the flesh beneath. As he reached Josh's belly button Matt stuck his tongue in and then ran his tongue down his happy trail until he reached the waist of Josh's jeans. He glanced up at Josh's face as if to ask for permission. Josh smiled so Matt undid the jeans. Josh was wearing a pair of boxer briefs and his erection made an obvious tent in the white fabric. At the tip of his cock some pre-cum had leaked out leaving a wet patch. Matt could resist no more and pulled the waistband out and down to release the hard cock within. Holding the waistband down with his left hand he took hold of Josh's cock with his right. He gave it a few strokes, taking in every detail. He stuck out his tongue and licked across the exposed head, tasting for the first time another man's precum. satisfied that it tasted ok , he took Josh into his mouth and began to suck. Josh moaned in ecstasy. even though this was Matt's first time giving head, he was a natural. He began gently thrusting, pushing his cook through Matt's hands deeper into Matt's mouth. Josh withdrew and shucked off his remaining clothes. He spread his legs either side of Matt and aimed his cock at Matt's mouth. Matt needed no further encouragement and took him back in his mouth as his hands explored Josh's newly exposed flesh, running his hands up and down Josh's thighs and round to caress Josh's pert butt. Josh held one of Matt's hands and brought it to his mouth. He sucked on Matt's fingers making them wet and then lifted his legs to give Matt access to his hole without taking his mouth off Josh's cock, Matt's began to run his wet fingers up and down Josh's crack, stroking the hole. Matt moved back to look and saw a beautiful rose bud. he licked his lips. Josh moaned and said. "lick my hole baby, get me ready". Matt dove in and his tongue lapped at Josh's hole. The taste was not at all as he had imagined it would, a salty musky taste that aroused him completely. He pushed his tongue deep into Josh's hole and tongue fucked him until Josh begged him to get the lube and fuck him. Matt grabbed the condoms and lube from his bedside cabinet and passed the lube to Josh. Josh pushed a generous squeeze of the jelly into his chute as matt rolled the condom over his steel hard cock. Josh raised his legs and lifted his arse in the air.

Matt aimed his cock at Josh's twitching hole,, and in one long slow thrust pushed all of his dick in. Josh moaned "oh God yeah, that so fucking good".

"Fuck man, i never knew it would be this good" said matt.

With long slow strokes, Matt began fucking josh. With each thrust josh would let out a whimper. Soon Matt sped up and began pounding into josh. They were both moaning loudly and occasionally murmuring words of encouragement "oh god" "fuck yeah" "like that". After only a few short minutes, Matt said "I'm really close". Josh pushed Matt off him

"Roll over on your back. I want to make this last for a while"

Matt obeyed and lay on his back as Josh straddled him and impaled himself slowly onto Matt's hard cock. In this position, Josh could take control of the speed and depth of the penetration. Whenever Matt would get close and start to thrust his hips up into Josh, Josh would rise up to prevent Matt from getting the release he so badly wanted. For ten minutes Josh's talented arse kept Matt on the brink, until Josh, who had been stroking his cock the whole time, decided it was time. He reached to the back of Matts neck and pulled him into a sitting position so they could share a kiss before he suddenly grunted and shot a stream of thick cum over Matt's chest. With each shot his sphincter pulsed around Matt's cock pushing him over the edge. Matt thrust up and Shouted "oh fuck i'm cumming, oh god Jason, yeah."

They both collapsed back into the bad, Matt pulling his softening cock out and pulled the condom off. He turned to look at his lover but he could see in Josh's eyes that something was wrong

Nervously Matt turned to Josh,"was it ok?"

Josh smiled, The sex was great, don't worry about it.

"Are you sure, you look .... did i do something wrong"

"It's nothing"

"Please, if i was bad, I'd rather hear it now than make the same mistakes next time. My ego can take it"

"Well there was one thing"


"Shouting someone else's name during sex: not cool"

"Oh fuck, I am so sorry"

"It's ok, i know you're hung up on my bro, i should have expected it"

"I am so sorry, i feel like such a douche"

"You're not a douche, it just hurts a little to always be second best to him"

"I'm sorry, you're not second best, it's just ... he was my first, and I kind of fell for him. I am sure if i had met you first it could easily be the other way"


"Look I'm sorry"

after a moment's awkward silence Josh said "I think, i should go back to Jason's room"


Jason dressed in silence, and picked up his things. As he opened the door he turned to Matt.

"I'm not saying this to be vindictive or anything, so please take it as some advice from a friend. He'll never love you. Not like that. That kind of relationship is just not what he wants"

He left the room, leaving Matt to think over the night's events

* * * * *

Matt awoke groggily to banging on the door

"What now?" He thought, as he got out of bed and opened the door

There stood Connor, with a middled-aged man and woman. The woman gasped and turned away, the man looked furious and Connor looked at him in shock.

"Isaiah? Is this the boy you intended us to go to church with?" said the man, who Matt realised was Connor's father

"Oh i am so sorry, I completely forgot"

"Evidently. Well we shall leave you to get ... cleaned up. But not before reminding you that self abuse is a mortal sin"

Matt looked down to see that his chest was encrusted with Josh's dried cum which shot there the night before. The penny dropped that Connor's dad had assumed that Matt had been jerking off. Matt started to correct him

"Oh it's not mine. It's ..."

He cut himself off realising that what he was saying was actually far worse in the eyes of a man like Mr Connor. The Connor family turned and left but not before Matt received a look of anger from his friend.

* * * * *

"Tell me something, are you an actual fucking idiot?"


Matt looked at Mel in surprise. He had just finished telling her about his night with Josh"

"I'm serious, did you miss some kind of medication which keeps your brain-cells working?"


"Well I'm trying to work out any reason why anyone could think that shagging the twin brother of the man you are hopelessly and retardedly in love with was a good idea."

"I thought it would be fun"

"Fun? What else do you do for fun, hammer nails through your balls?"

"It's not that bad"

"Seriously? You had fallen in love with a guy after one shag. How bad is your crush going to be after shagging an exact replica of him?"

"You said if i hooked up with someone else, it might help"

"But not someone who you couldn't look at without being reminded of Jason, you idiot. Christ, it's pretty amazing that you managed not to call him by the wrong name"

Matt blushed

"Oh god you didn`t? You are hopeless, utterly hopeless and an idiot to boot"

Matt couldn't help but agree.

* * * * *

"How could you do that to me?" Connor shouted at Matt. "In all the weeks I've known you, I have only asked you to do one thing,make a good impression on my parents.just because I wanted them to like my best friend."I'm sorry"

You know they wanted me to come home, so I wouldn't be corrupted by sodomites and other deviants. I've spent all day trying to persuade them to let me stay.all because of your little display.

Look I said I'm sorry,what do you want me to do?

I want you to grow the fuck up, think of someone else for a change and stop being a fucking selfish cunt.

Author's Note

This is my first story, and I welcome any feedback, both positive and negative. I can be contacted at gayessex+wib@gmail.com. I was overwhelmed to receive so much positive feedback from the first two chapters.

Apologies for it taking so long to finish this one, it's been 95% done for months, but I had some personal issues that meant I was unable to complete it until today.

I'd also like to apologise for saying Des Moines was in Ohio. I have a bit of a blind spot when it comes to US states that have names with three vowels and one consonant. Des Moines is of course in the Federated States of Micronesia. Right? (Just kidding, I know it's Iowa now)

© J Hardy 2012-2013