Date: Tue, 9 Apr 2002 21:39:43 -0700 (PDT) From: already chosen Subject: Who Would Have Thought Chapter 2 This is a story about two college guys who fall for one another. If you are offended by two guys being in a relationship, having sex etc. don't read it. If you are under 18 don't read it. If it is illegal to read this in your state, don't read it. For those of you who can read this enjoy! Before I give you all chapter 2, I just want to say thank you to everyone who sent feedback about the story. I didn't know if I was going to continue writing it, but all of your comments definitely gave me the confidence to continue. Thanks again and keep sending feedback! Who Would Have Thought Chapter 2 By Already Chosen There I sat, in my bedroom waiting for what seemed like forever for Phoenix to call. The whole time I just went over our conversation at the Student Center in my head. I thought of every possible scenario. Maybe he was into me, maybe he wasn't, maybe he wanted to set me up with a friend of his, maybe he just wanted to be my friend. God, my mind wouldn't stop going about the whole thing. Well, at least it was a way to pass the time until hottie Phoenix called. Eventually, I snapped out of my trance and looked up at the clock. It was already 11. I thought for sure he wasn't going to call. My mood changed from one of anticipation to one of depression. There I went again getting myself all worked up over something that probably wasn't as big of a deal as I would have liked to have thought. Just as I was about to get into bed and go to sleep the phone rang. I took a deep breath, looked at the caller ID and realized that it wasn't Phoenix. It was my best friend Zoe. I love her to death and I always have a great time talking to her but she definitely wasn't the person I wanted to talk to at the moment. Reluctantly, I answered the phone. "Hey Zoe. Whats up?" "Nothin' much babe. What are you doing?" "Sitting here being depressed." "Why? What's wrong?" I proceeded to tell her the story. Knowing me as well as she did, she just kind of laughed but at the same time tried to comfort me. "Adam, why do you always do this to yourself? You meet a random guy, talk to him for a little while and then plan in your head your wedding and your life together. Just let things happen. There is no use in getting yourself worked up when the only thing you know about this kid is that he's cute and gay." "I guess you're right Zo. Its just you know how I am. I can't help it. I wish I could but I just get myself worked up and want to make something tiny the most important thing that has ever happened to me." "Well stop it. Get over yourself and start living in the now based on fact, rather than this image you have built up in your head." That's what I loved about Zoe she wasn't afraid to tell the truth. She always knew that no matter how bad it hurt, it was always better for me to hear what I needed to hear rather than what I wanted to hear. "Alright Zo, let me go. I just want this fucking day to be over. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love ya." "Love ya too. 'Night sweetie." "'Night." I hung up the phone feeling a little bit better, but still not 100%. I decided to have a cigarette then hopefully I would be able to sleep. I rolled over and looked through the disgusting mess that was my room and found my smokes. Thank God, one left. I lit and inhaled the wonderful smoke. I know most people say that cigarettes do nothing more than stress you out but with every exhale I can feel the stress melting away. I sat there thinking and smoking. Basically, I yelled at myself for being such an idiot and getting so excited about something so unimportant. I finished the cigarette and realized that I really wanted another one. So being the nicotine fiend that I am, I got some clothes on grabbed my keys, got in my car, and headed to the store for another pack of smokes. It was only a short ride to the convenience store. I got out, ran in and asked for a pack of Marlboros. When I got back to the car my cell phone was ringing. It was close to midnight now. All of my friends knew that I was a total bitch if anyone called me that late, so I figured it must have been really important. I didn't recognize the number and immediately got even more nervous about who was on the other end. "Hello." "Hey Adam, it's Phoenix," he said in a chipper voice. "Oh, hey what's up?" I was immediately in a better mood. "Sorry I'm calling this late, but I got caught up with some stuff after class. But, I didn't want you to think I was one of those people that says they will call and then don't." "No problem. I'm actually out getting a pack of cigarettes." I always backed down and didn't speak my mind when something bothered me. It definitely bothered me that it took him so long to call me. "I'll just take a little drive and smoke another cigarette while I talk to you." "Sounds good." I ended up driving around for about 3 hours because neither one of us wanted to shut up. It seemed like we had everything in common and the things we didn't have in common we could at least relate to each other about on some level. I finally got home wanting to be in my bed more than anything, but at the same time not wanting to hang up the phone. This boy was probably the coolest person I had met in a long time. We finally got off the phone and I headed into the house. My mother was waiting for me in the living room. "Where did you go?" "I went to grab a pack of cigarettes." "For three hours?" "I decided to take a drive and clear my head." "What's bothering you Adam? You are not yourself. I feel like you are hiding something from me." "I'm fine Mom, I swear. I'm just stressed out about school." "Adam, I love you more than anything. You know you can tell me anything. Nothing is going to make me love you any less." "There's nothing to tell Mom. I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight." "Goodnight." Nothing like ending the night with a not-so-intimate conversation with my mother. I hated living at home with my parents. Every time something like this happened I regretted the choice I made when I started college. I could either go away to school or go to school close to home and get a brand new car. Being the car freak I am, I chose the car. Had I known that I would be dealing with my queerness I definitely would have chosen to be far away from my parents. It's not that I thought they would disown me by telling them, I was just so afraid of disappointing them. I had serious issues with trying to be what they wanted me to be, rather than what I really was...a flaming homosexual. I knew that eventually I was going have to tell them that I was gay. I mean I was 21 years old, I could make my own decisions concerning my life. It shouldn't have mattered what they thought. Unfortunately, as much as I wanted to believe that it was none of their business and they would just have to deal with it and accept me for me, I knew in my heart of hearts that it was I who had to accept me for me and until I could do that I would have to continue having to live life in misery with my little secret. The next day I didn't have class with Phoenix. I did a split schedule, went to school two days a week and worked three. I went into work the next morning tired as hell but nonetheless in a great mood. When I got to work I couldn't wait to tell my boss all about my conversation with Phoenix the night before. My boss was a lesbian and probably one of the coolest ladies on earth. I could tell her everything and sometimes she acted as a mother figure to me. Anything I couldn't talk to my parents about, which was pretty much everything lately, I could talk to her about. Usually the subject ended up being boys or coming out to my parents. She always seemed to know what was going on in my head before I did. The minute I walked into work that Wednesday morning she could tell something was up from the smile on my face. "You met a boy didn't you?" "Well yeah, kinda. How did you know?" "You've been working for me for how long? 9 months? And in those 9 months anytime you meet a boy you have the same goofy-ass grin on your face. It's like you think you are going to get married or something just because a hot guy said hello or you talked for five minutes." "Oh come on Grace, I know I'm not getting married. Its just, he is so hot." "Okay okay I guess I'll bite. Tell me the whole story." When I was done spilling my guts about Phoenix the only thing she really had to say was not to get head over heels too fast and let fate take it's course. As far as Grace was concerned, I was way too young to be worried about a long-term relationship and I should just have fun. I was definitely of a different opinion, but it helped to have someone there who could balance me out. The rest of the day went buy pretty uneventfully. I got out of work around three o'clock and headed for home. Usually, when I get done with work all I want to do is go home and sleep. That day though, I was wired. I didn't know what to do with myself. I called Zoe to see if she would go to the mall with me just for something to do, but she was out. I sat down in front of my computer and surfed around a little bit but even that wasn't keeping me entertained at all. I just wanted tomorrow to come so I could be back in class and I could see Phoenix again. After the conversation we had the night before I was really starting to enjoy the idea of him being around. Hell, I would have taken him as a friend or a boyfriend. I really didn't care at that point. I was just amazed by him. I finally calmed myself down and realized that tomorrow wasn't going to come any quicker, so I settled in to do some homework. This is something I never did and I was kind of surprised at myself for doing it, but I needed to do something that would numb my senses. It was working really well when Phoenix called again. I was completely surprised to see his number on the caller ID but I still tried to remain cool. I didn't pick up until the third ring and when I did pick up I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible (I'll admit it now but I never would have then, I was definitely playing childish games). He told me that he was bored out of his mind and asked me if I wanted to go do something. I told him I just needed to get showered because I was gross from work and that I would meet him just name the place. We decided on The Arrow we figured we would grab a couple beers and play a few games of pool. Right after we hung up, I immediately jumped up from my desk and ran towards the shower. I was a nervous wreck. All I could think about was what I was going to wear and hoping that he wouldn't make fun of me for my ridiculous pool skills. It took me probably 45 minutes to finally decide on my outfit. When I look back now I don't know what my problem was. I mean, I went to The Arrow all the time and I always wore jeans and a sweater. It was such a relaxed place that I had never worried about what I looked like until that point. Even after I got dressed in my favorite sweater and my best-fitting pair of jeans I was still self-conscious about my appearance. When I was little I was a really fat. I'm talking, I weighed 150 pounds at ten years old and I was only 5 feet tall, so even 11 years and 70 pounds lost, I was still constantly worried about my appearance. I wasn't bad looking by any means. I was still about 150 pounds and 5'11" so I was definitely proportionate. I guess old insecurities die hard. So, I gave myself a quick little pep talk and got into my car to make the 20-minute drive to The Arrow. By the time I got there I was still nervous, but I had managed to calm myself down enough to not make a total ass out of myself. I walked in the front door and scanned the few people sitting at the bar. Off in a corner was Phoenix, just minding his own business and nursing a beer. I always wished I had enough self-confidence to go into a bar by myself and have a beer. When he noticed me he immediately got up and came over to greet me with a huge smile on his face. He immediately gave me one of the greatest hugs I have ever gotten in my entire life. "Hey Adam. I was just about to give up on ya." "Hi. I'm sorry I was having wardrobe issues." "Uh-oh sounds like I've got a clothes whore on my hands," he said in a kidding tone. "I admit it. I am definitely a clothes freak." "Don't worry about it kid, I am too. I guess it comes with the territory." I laughed in agreement. "Well you wanna play a couple games of pool." "Sounds like a plan." "Cool." We went to the back room where the pool table was and played for probably 2 and a half hours. We talked about everything in that time. Family, friends, coming out, or my lack there of, pretty much anything that came up. It was really nice talking to him. I felt like I could tell him anything. Finally around midnight Phoenix decided we should call it quits since we both had class in the morning. So we finished out beers and headed towards the parking lot. I was finally relaxed around him but as we approached our cars the nerves and butterflies came back threefold. I wanted to kiss him so badly I could taste it. My problem was, I was not an aggressor in any sense of the word, so it was all on Phoenix's shoulders. We started saying our goodbyes and then he hugged me, got into his car and drove away. I got in my car ready to punch something. I cursed myself out all the way home for not growing any balls and just taking the chance and kissing him. What was the worst that could have happened? He could have told me he wasn't interested and maybe never talked to me again. Its not like I had known the kid all my life. I had just met him two days before. It wouldn't have been a huge loss. But still, I just couldn't find it in me to do anything. I pulled in my driveway and tip toed my way to my bedroom. At least I didn't have to deal with questions from my mother. I went to bed still frustrated but at least I knew I would see Phoenix in class in the morning. Well, there it is, Chapter 2. Still a little slow moving, but I promise, you will see more action in chapters to come. Keep the feedback coming and tell me what you would like to see happen between Adam and Phoenix. Alreadychosen06460@yahoo.com