Chapter 3

Ryan was the first to face the music and make a move to get out of bed.  He sat on the corner of the bed and rubbed his eyes.  His hair was all wild and messed up.  It was adorable.  He stood up and stretched his naked body, and I was treated to a glorious display of this fine young man.  He walked into the bathroom and peed for what seemed like 10 minutes.  Then I heard the sound of the shower turning on.  He leaned out the doorway and said, "My parents don't like to waste too much water.  They usually like it if I share the shower with someone."  Well, it was refreshing to hear that his parents were so concerned with the welfare of the earth.

I willed my body to get up and hopped in the the shower with him.  We got a little horny and we both started to kiss each other.  That ended quickly when we tasted each other's breath.  Damn, should have brushed first.  We generally behaved, because I had to be ready to hit the course by 8:30.  We enjoyed a little mild fondling and quick kisses.  At one point he put a soapy finger real close to my hole.  I didn't mind that until he started to play around in there. I jumped.

"You don't like that?" he asked.

"No, its okay.  I just didn't expect it.  To tell you the truth.  I don't really like it unless I'm really turned on."

"Okay.  I'm not really sure what all to do you know.  I guess I just assumed you all like it in the ass."  He said it with a straight face and was not kidding around.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, a little perturbed.

He was uncomfortable.  "You know, gay guys, they like getting fucked and, and..."  He fumbled with the words.  "You know..."

"I don't want to be thought of as just another ass monkey, you know.  Just because I'm gay doesn't mean you can buy me two Rhett Butler's and I'm on my knees for you."  I was starting to get pissed.  I hate when people automatically categorized you.  People just assumed the whole gay population behaved the same way and liked all the same things.

"Whoa, I'm sorry.  I apologize.  I just... I mean I'm straight.  I don't have much experience with this."

"You're straight?" I asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

"Well I ain't gay!" he said.  He was beginning to get defensive as well.

"I'd say you're bi then."

"No, I'm not bi!"  This was getting ridiculous.  This boy had BIG time denial.

"Do you not remember giving me head last night?  Did you not wake up naked in the same bed with me this morning?" I asked him sarcastically.

He got more pissed.  "Look Steve, I like girls.  You turn me on a bit but that was just for fun, you know?  I mean, girls just do it for me.  Don't expect us to start dating."

I changed my strategy.  "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I wasn't saying anything about dating.  A one-night fling is just a one-night fling.  Sometimes they turn into a two-night fling, and then maybe a third.  But I don't expect anything from this.  Not that I wouldn't want it to turn into something else, but I play it one day it a time."  I felt kind of bad.  I had just come down on him pretty hard.  This guy obviously had some things to sort out for himself.  He'd have to come to grips with his sexuality on his own time.  Perhaps he was just turned on a little bit.  Maybe after this, he'd never want to be with a guy again.

I kissed him on the cheek gently.  "Look, I'm not a morning person.  I'm usually pissy in the morning.  I apologize.  Last night was fun.  If we never do it again I can live with that.  I still think you're a great guy and I want to be friends with you.  I really enjoy working with you."

He started to calm down.  "Okay, I'm sorry for implying you're an ass monkey."  He said it sheepishly and I had to laugh.  It was so cute.

"Apology accepted," I said.  I had to hurry and dry off.  I wasn't pissed anymore but the mood was definitely killed.  I was sort of hoping for another blow job to get me through the day.  Oh well.  I wondered if I had screwed things up.  I never intended this to become anything.  The truth was, since we had hooked up I hadn't considered whether Ryan was even my type or not.  When I was hitting on him at work it was purely a physical attraction.  Only recently, had I started to enjoy his personality.  Was he right for me?  Probably not, I don't know if I could be with anyone who hid themselves from the world.

He got downstairs first and started to cook breakfast.  I almost never eat breakfast.  If I'm hungry at work I'll grab some scrambled eggs or toast from the kitchen and eat on the go.  But since he had already thrown some eggs on the grill when I got downstairs I figured it would be rude to turn him down.  A thought struck me as we were eating.  He was rambling on about wrestling (he had forced me to watch Thursday night wrestling last night, much to my disappointment) so I definitely wasn't paying attention to him.  I just sat there not listening to a word he said but staring into his beautiful eyes, nodding along, as he compared "new age" wrestling with "old school."  The thought was that if anyone knew Adam, Ryan probably did the best.  I don't get the feeling that Adam really would get along with anyone else in the shed.  The girls were okay.  But the manager was a cock-knocker (no, not the way you're thinking) and the other guy was a dweeb.

Ryan and Adam were the only cool ones so I figured they would get along the best.  But Adam was the quiet type so maybe Ryan's brashness threw him off.  But then another thought struck me.  What chances if any, would I have with Ryan if I started asking him about Adam?  ("Well, gee, Ryan, you were great but your yesterdays trash and I was wondering if you thought I had any chance of getting in Adam's pants?)  That would make me the biggest asshole on earth.  And did I even want a chance with Ryan?  I was beginning to think he was more of a boy-toy than a boyfriend, at least based on this morning's episode in the shower.

Maybe I could ease into the question and have him bring it up.  I was good at manipulating conversations.  Shit, I was a Rembrandt.  But first I had to get this boy off the subject of wrestling.  I tuned back into the conversation so I could find a way out of it.  Who the hell was the "Public Menace" and why on earth was he popular?

He paused to take bite of his scrambled eggs, and I used that moment to jump in.

"Is it me or is your manager a whining pain in the ass?"

"Who, William?"  William was the Clubhouse manager who was also in charge of the snack shed, but I had meant Brad, the boy who managed just the shed.

"No, Brad."

"Yeah, he's sort of annoying.  I ignore him most of the time."

"Do you have to work with him often?" I asked.  Watch how easily I made him bring up Adam.

"No, he doesn't like me too much, so he usually schedules me when he's not working.  Adam, too."  Swish.  I'm the king.  I already knew all this based on talking to Brad.

"He doesn't like Adam, either?"

"No, and I don't know why.  Adam's a great guy."

"Do you get along with him?"

"Adam?  Sure, he's nice.  A little quiet but if you can get him to open up to you he'll have you rolling on the floor.  He's got a real dry sense of humor."  I knew it all too well.

"Yeah, he strikes me as a nice guy."  I paused, and changed the tone of my voice.  "Sometimes I wonder about him though," I finished.

"Wonder what?  If he's gay?"

"Yeah.  I've got pretty good gaydar and some of the things he says give off some weird vibes."

Ryan chewed on his piece of toast thoughtfully.  I think it was working.  It didn't seem like I was interested in Adam, but that I was just a little bit curious about his sexuality.

"Hmm...," he said.  "I never thought about it.  I don't know.  He gets along with the girls pretty well.  I'd say he was straight."  That was Ryan's inclination, but I did not share his opinion.  To me, that sounded like he was leaning more on my side of the fence.  The phone rang at just that point.  It was perfect timing as I didn't want to go too far with this.  I was happy with the information I had been able to obtain.

The phone was his mother making sure he was up and ready for work.  He didn't have to be in till 9 so I left while he was still on the phone, mouthing a "thank you" for the breakfast and that I would see him later.  I threw our dishes in the dishwasher and was out the door as he was explaining his car trouble.

I punched in at 7:58 and rolled out of the loading dock with a full cart before my 8:30 deadline.  George, or whoever was working the morning shift at the bar, wouldn't be in till 10.  I liked not having anyone looking over my shoulder so I usually enjoyed the early mornings.  Snyder.  2 Coffees.  Haley.  4 Gatorades, 4 candy bars.  Anderson.  1 beer.  I guess his game was going pretty shitty that morning.  The morning was sort of cool so my cart was not even half empty as I rolled back up to the clubhouse to restock.  The snack people were starting to load up supplies on their cart.  Unfortunately, Adam wasn't with them.  The morning went fast and when I came in at 11 with my tabs George was slamming things around the bar.  Damn, he was in one of his moods.

He grumbled a good morning to me and quickly inspected my head.  He brightened up for a moment and joked in his "dopey" voice, "Stevie, we're going to need to get you a football helmet.  You can ask your buddies on the football team," he joked before returning to his chores at stocking the bar.  He was still cursing as I headed back out to do my 4th lap of the day.

Ryan cooked me a big, fat, greasy cheeseburger for lunch topped with bacon and cheddar cheese.  It was delicious.  I'd have to blow him more often!  He acted totally casual at work and I was happy that nothing had changed between us, at least nothing apparent.  I had to eat my lunch on the course.  Usually I ate a little at a time in between serving members.  I didn't have the liberty of taking a lunch break so I would usually eat quietly while they were teeing off or putting.  At least I could sit down.  Next time I did a lap Ryan was alone in the shed being bothered by a little kid.

It was Dr. Murphy's 9 year old boy, whom I knew pretty well, so I told him to buzz off.  He made an act like he was going to box me, so I started chasing him towards the pool and he ran off yelping and laughing.  It was just horseplay, but it got the job done.

I walked back over towards Ryan, who seemed pretty happy that the kid was now playing in the pool away from him, taking turns with his friends yelling, "Stevie and Missy, sitting in a tree.."  Missy was 14 years old and she had a crush on me.  Oh, I guess I'm always breaking the young ladies' hearts.

"That burger was a fine piece of cooking," I said.

Ryan smiled back and said, "I thought my cooking tasted like shit."

"I guess it did until someone got his first blow job."  He laughed.  I was really curious to see what Ryan would do before he went home.  Would he invite me back over?  Ask me for my number?  I wondered if he had Monday off or not.  The clubhouse was closed on Mondays but everything else was still open.

I hit the road and did some good business.  The "half-dayers" were starting to filter onto the course.  They figured if they put in a good morning at work they were entitled to 18 holes.  Shit, I couldn't argue with that.  I think we work way too much as it is.  By the time I made my way around to the snack shed, it was 1:30.  If Ryan was going to ask for my number he'd have to do it now because I wouldn't be able to get back around before 2, when he left.

"Hey Ryan, what are your hours this weekend?" I asked non-chalantly.

"Tomorrow off, Sunday all day.  You?"

I frowned, "What do you think?"

He nodded and said, "Well, I guess I'll see you Sunday, then."

Ouch.  I guess he wasn't planning on taking me to dinner and a movie tonight.  "All right, then," I said, "I won't get back in here before you have to go so I guess I'll see you Sunday?" I said, a little deliberately.

"Sounds good," he said cheerfully.  Two more laps and Bruno came in for the dinner shift.  Bruno was the next most senior bartender after George.  He was a whole lot of fun to work with.  We got along very well.  He was pretty cute too, though I knew he was straight.

"Steve, I heard you got nailed!" he said mocking me.

"Fuck you, Bruno.  If you had gotten hit you would have called out sick for a week."

He just laughed at me.  Between him and the waitstaff and the kitchen, I was really getting reamed.  As I headed back out for my cart, Miguel grabbed me by the arm.

"Hey Senor Steve, que pasa?"

"Nada.  What about you?"

"I've got some ladies out back waiting for us."  That was a codeword that only he and I knew about.  I went out to the cart and met him in the cage a few minutes later with two Absolut and Ruby Reds.  My personal favorite.  We drank them quickly since we were both pretty busy.  We chatted a bit, and he told me more about his girlfriend.  This girl had him by the balls.  I'd never seen a guy so whipped.

At around 7 I was not doing much business so I did a last call and then broke down the cart.  I straightened the cage out before locking it and turning off the light.  I ran inside, as I always did, to make sure the bartender didn't need any kegs changed or anything else.  If they had to leave the bar for even a few minutes, drink orders from the wait staff could really start piling up.  Bruno was running low on Tanqueray and Cabernet Sauvignon, so I brought him a bottle of each from the liquor room downstairs.

"Thanks man.  What are you doing tonight?"

"I've got nothing planned.  Probably just take it easy."  I thought to myself what I really wanted to be doing, and that involved a certain someone.  I said good-bye, clocked out, and headed back to the car.  Miguel tried to stop me for a few more "ladies", but I told him everything was put away.  I got into my car and turned it on before I noticed the note on my dashboard.  I grabbed it and read,

"Steve.  Had a good time last night.  Was wondering if you wanted to hang out again tonight?  Why don't you go home and check in and then give me a call?  555-xxxx.  We could hang out, just the two of us.

                - You know who
 

"Hey, hon, how was work?"  By that she meant how much money did I come home with.  She loved counting my tip money.  I don't know why, but whenever I got home I forked it over to her and she would count it and put it in a nice pile and tell me how much I made.

"Not too bad, but I've done better on a Friday," I said, taking out a crumpled wad of mostly ones and fives and handing it over.

"Donna called.  Woody is also taking his boat out, so she said everyone is meeting at the docks at 10:00."  Shit.

Double shit.  Dammit!  I had totally forgotten Donna's birthday was today.  I had promised to take her out along with all the rest of our friends Friday night.  "Okay, thanks mom."

When I got out of the shower I walked into my parents room to grab the phone and call Ryan.  He picked up after the second ring.

"Ryan, it's Steve."

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good.  About tonight..."

"You got plans already?" he asked disappointedly.

"Yes.  I had promised my friend I'd take her out for her 20th birthday.  She turns today."

"Oh, okay, well maybe another time then."

"Well, why don't you come along.  It's going to be a whole bunch of us so its not like you'd be a third wheel."

"Where are you guys going?"

"The Hatch," I replied.

"But I'm not 21!"  The Hatch was a bar along Candlewood Lake that was THE place to go Friday nights.  You could go by car but most customers showed up by boat, which gave it a fun and casual atmosphere.

"Neither are any of us.  My friend works the door, though.  We never have trouble getting in."  The bars in my area were pretty strict.  But our friend always made sure we got in, as long as there weren't too many of us.  We'd be pressing our luck this time, though.  Well, some of us had fakes at least.

"Gees, I've never been to a bar before."

"Wait till you get to UConn.  So are you in?"

"Sure."  I gave him directions to my house.  He was worried about driving his car.

"If you're drinking tonight then you can stay at my place," I offered.

"Really.  Are your parents home?"

"Yes, but we could still have some fun."  He agreed and said he'd get to my house by 9:30.  I hung up and put on some clothes.  I headed downstairs to grab some leftovers from dinner.  I had only eaten a small meal at the club.

"What are you doing tonight?" my father asked me, looking up from the paper.

"We're taking Donna out for her birthday."

"Where are you going?"

"The lake, we'll probably stop off at the Hatch, too."

"Who's going?"  That was my dad for you.  Same predictable questions.  And I always had the same predictable answers.  Its not like I didn't hang out with the same 8 or 9 guys every night.  And if I didn't, it meant I stayed home.

I told him the usual gang and then said that a friend from work was stopping by as well and that he might stay over.  Ryan got to my house at 9:45 and we got into my car.  Then we headed down the street to pick up Pat and then a little farther to pick up Jay.  Woody met us at the docks with the rest of the gang.  I'll go through them quickly.

Pat (a guy) I knew since I was 5.  He was a lifeguard during the summer and had a great body.  He was dating a girl named Lisa who wasn't going out with us tonight.  Then there was Jay.  He and I were good friends as well and he had so many different summer jobs.  I don't recall exactly where he was working that summer.  He had a boat too but we never took it out at night.  It was too nice for us to ruin and spill beer on.  Woody had a boat and he was working as a janitor.  Its actually a really good summer job.  If you're looking for one, I suggest you check it out.  He got paid very well for a college kid.  Rich was his hippie partner (they weren't really hippies, but we called them that since they always brought out a guitar and played us tunes.  No offense meant!  There's nothing wrong with hippies).

Then there was Scott.  Cocky and brash, he was one of my closest and oldest friends.  There are too many sides to him for me to even approach in this story.  Ted was sort of like Scott, but a little less loud.  He had a great sense of humor.  Both those guys smoked way too much pot.  The movie "Half Baked" comes to mind.  Jeff was the young one in the group.  He was still in high school.  He also got picked on the most because he was the youngest and because he was too much of a pussy to stick up for himself.  Kevin was the player of our group.  This guy got more ass than a college frathouse with roofies.  Finally, there was Amanda, our one "steady" chick.  We all considered her one of the guys even though in fact she was very lady-like and pretty.  She's one of those rarest of humans whose just as gorgeous on the outside as on the inside.  Donna and her friends, Kristen and Cathy, didn't hang out with us as much, but they were occasionals.

I introduced everyone to Ryan and told them he was a friend from work.  I didn't mention what kind of a friend because he probably would have died from embarrassment.  We headed out on the water on mine and Woody's boats and anchored in a quiet cove.  Rich and Woody were soon serenading us with Dave Matthews.  Okay, not the choice song for hippies but you get the picture.  The water was perfectly still and it lapped gently against the boat.  The sky was without a cloud and the stars were everywhere, millions of them.  We saw several shooting stars throughout the night.  Hey, Connecticut isn't exactly the happening place to grow up, especially if you're gay.  But it had its moments of glory.  Ryan was sitting next to me and I subtly leaned against him.  It was nice to feel his warm body against mine.  The night was a little breezy.

So there we sat on the lake, a universe of stars above our heads and listened to music, drank beer, smoked pot, sang songs, argued, cracked jokes, picked on the women, and discussed who the kingpin of Weekend Update was: Dennis Miller, Kevin Nealon, or Norm McDonald (my votes in bold, although Norm is a close second).  Ryan wasn't shy at all despite not knowing anyone.  He got along with everyone great.  I was glad I didn't have to baby-sit him.  After we all killed two 30 packs, Ted and Scott were really getting pretty damn rowdy so we figured it would be a good time to let them loose at the Hatch.  We pulled up anchor and headed over to the bar.

We had to wait about ten minutes to get a slip.  This bar really was packed on Friday nights.  Luckily, our friend got us in without a hitch.  It was my turn to apply the grease so I passed him a ten dollar bill as I headed past.  We segregated into three or four groups because it was too crowded to stand all together.  I only had a couple drinks at the bar (I NEVER drink and drive) so I spent most of my money on Donna since it was her birthday.  I sort of segregated away from everybody with her and her friends and Ryan.  I also saw Bruno from work there.  He was hammered as usual.

Ryan was new to the bars so I should have watched him a little closer.  He drank way too much and was going to end up paying for it later that night.  Donna had a great time and I was glad.  That girl threw down more White Russians than I could count.  At 1am they did last call and Woody and I gathered up the gang and loaded them on the boats.  We drove home to the docks nice and slow, giving Ted and Scott a chance to sober up.  We always offered to drive them but they preferred driving drunk.  Yeah, I know we shouldn't have let them do that but we did.

It was 2:15 by the time we got the boats covered and put away.  I glanced at my watch and realized I was going to pay for this late night tomorrow morning.  The car ride home was fun.  Pat did his Beavis and Butthead voice with Jay in the back seat.  I love drunk people.  They crack me up.  They wanted to go to a diner but there was no way in hell I was going out for another hour.  I left Pat staggering up his walkway to the front door and me and Ryan made the short drive up the road home in silence.

My parents were both sleeping but my mother awoke the instant I pulled into the driveway.  She was there to greet us at the front door, squinting with a tangled head of hair from the night's sleep.

"Hey how was it?" she whispered.

"Great, we had a good time.  Ryan's sleeping here, okay?"

"I think that's a good idea," she joked, as he sort of swayed in the doorway from the alcohol.  My mom's weird.  She really does hate alcohol but knows my friends and I drink  As long as I don't drink and drive she's all right with it.  If I don't drive, I can drink without her getting pissed, but when I come back too loaded there's hell to pay.  You'd think I'd find a happy medium, but I was only 19.

We went upstairs quietly and I put Ryan in my one of my brother's rooms.  It was right next to mine and had a king size bed.  Yummy!  I left Ryan on the bed and told him I was going to go get ready for bed.  As fast as I could I went and peed, brushed, took my contacts out, and washed my hands, but not necessarily in that order.  I was sort of in a rush because I was hornier than Ted Kennedy at a nudie bar.  I went back to my brother's room and found stretched on the bed, all of his clothes still on.

"Do you want to go use the bathroom?" I asked.

"No."

"You're not going to brush your teeth?"

"Shteeve, the room ish spinning," he slurred.

Shit.  "You're not going to be sick are you?"

He answered my question by bolting up and making a mad dash for the bathroom.  I hoped my mom was back in bed and she didn't hear him praying to the porcelain.  I knocked on the bathroom door and heard a weak, "Come in."

He was sitting with his arms wrapped around the bowl, a sort of content look upon his face.  I'm sure he felt better.  I sat on the edge of the bathtub and waited for him to recover.  Eventually he determined he was done yakking for the night and he got up and flushed the toilet.  "Sorry," he mumbled.

"S'all right."  I was in no mood for any fooling around now so I brought him back to bed and tucked him in.   I kissed him on the forehead and told him I'd wake him before I left for work in the morning.  I went in to go to bed and as soon as my head hit the sack, I was out like a light.

As always, comments are appreciated at h_2_t@hotmail.com.