Chapter 5

I gently knocked on the window.  Adam stirred a little but didn't wake up.  I gently POUNDED on the window and he bolted awake.  He stared at me, blinking his eyes a couple of times probably wondering what to say.  He rolled down the back window.  He opened his mouth, but didn't say anything. He seemed to be at a loss for words.  I decided to break the ice.

"Are you trying to be first in line at the supermarket tomorrow morning?"  I joked with him, hoping to make him feel a little more at ease.

"No."

"Well, I didn't think so.  Have you been drinking?"

He nodded his head.  I could tell as the light bounced off his face that he had definitely been crying.

"Yeah, I figured I'd sleep it off and sober up before driving home."

"Maybe I could drive you home?" I offered.  It was obvious he was lying.

"No really, I think I'll head home right now.  I'm feeling better."

He opened the back door and got out, hiding his face from me as he opened the front door and sat inside.  I walked over to the front door as he turned the car on.  He tried to shut the door but I prevented him from doing it.  He had his hand on the door handle and I grabbed a hold of his arm.

"Adam, what the hell is wrong?"  He looked at my hand, gently grasping his own arm.  Then he looked up at my face.  He would later tell me that it was my eyes that opened the floodgates.  He burst into tears.  He put his hands on the steering wheel and cried into his arms.  I walked back around the other side of the car.  I turned off my car, then climbed into the passenger seat next to him.  I let him cry for a few minutes, rubbing my arm reassuringly over his back and shoulders.  After a while, the tears started to subside a bit.

"I'm gay," he whispered.  He was staring straight ahead, resting his chin on the steering wheel.

I took one of his hands into mine and I said, "So what?"

"So, I got kicked out of my house."  He wiped a tear away with the back of his hand, rubbing his nose and getting it covered with snot.  Ewww, I thought.  I opened the glove box and looked around for some tissues.  I couldn't find any but did find a paper towel.  I handed it to him and he blew his nose.

"Because you're gay?" I asked after a bit.  He nodded.  "Who took it the worst, your mom or your dad?"

"I live with my step mom and my dad.  They both took it pretty bad.  They said..." he started to get upset again.  "They said I was a bad influence on my little brother."  He started to cry all over again and I reached over and hugged him.  He put his head on my shoulder and cried into it for a while.  I wasn't sure what his family situation was.  I wondered if his mom was dead or if she lived somewhere else.

After a while he continued his tale.  "I came out to them the night before last.  This morning I found a note on the table from my father saying that he'd prefer it if I found someplace else to stay.  They were worried about the effect I'd have on my little brother."

He was still leaning on my shoulder and I stroked his hair gently as I listened.  Normally I would have been quite turned on but the situation was totally inappropriate for that.  "Do you not have any place to stay?"

"No."

"What about a friend's place?"

"I'm afraid they'll find out why he kicked me out.  They've probably called over there for me by now."

"Well, you know if they're good friends they won't care if you're gay."

"I don't know.  They've said some pretty mean stuff about gay people before."

"Well, guys can be like that sometimes.  But it doesn't mean they're homophobic.  They're just trying to act macho."  He didn't say anything for a while.  The only sounds in the car were his steady breathing, not as heavy as it had been a few minutes ago when he was crying.

"Thank you for not freaking out when you found out I was gay."  I guess he didn't think I was gay myself.  I would have told him but I was more concerned about straightening him out first.

"Are you under control enough to drive, now?"

"Yes."

"Then follow me to my house, you can spend some time there until you get this all figured out."

"Thanks, but I couldn't do that."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to be a bother."

"Fine, then I'll follow you over to one of your friends' houses.  You have to stay someplace tonight.  This isn't the best area."

"No, I'll be fine.  I'm going to look around for an apartment tomorrow after work."

"Adam, you're coming with me now or I'm escorting you to a friend's house.  What will it be?"  He finally agreed to stay at my house and so he followed me home in his car.  I was half expecting him to turn around and try to lose me.  He was pretty insistent about not being a bother.  When he got to my place, my dad was in the kitchen reading the newspaper.  I told Adam to go right ahead upstairs and where my brother's room would be.  He had a suitcase with him that he had packed in a hurry before he left for work this morning.  I went out to the kitchen to talk to my dad.

"Hey, I brought another friend home from work."

My dad frowned out me and said, "Why, what's going on."

"Well, he got kicked out of his house by his parents.  He sort of has no other place to go so I told him he could stay here until things worked out."

"Really?  Well, I guess its okay.  How well do you know him?"

"Pretty well.  I work with him almost everyday.  He's a decent kid."

"Well, all right.  How long do you think he'll need to stay here?"

"No more than a week.  He put up a fight about coming here in the first place.  He doesn't want to be a bother."

My dad was pretty easy-going.  My parents were good people who would go out of their way to help a kid out.  I went upstairs to check on Adam.  He was sitting on the bed with his shirt and shoes off.  He had a real nice smooth chest with some definition around his pecs and shoulders.  He was laying on his back staring at the ceiling.  I thought to myself that this was the second non-straight boy to lie in my brother's bed this weekend.  I hope my brother didn't catch gay!

I sat down on the bed next to him and asked him how he was feeling.

"Pretty lousy.  I'm worried about school.  There's no way I can afford to pay for it."

"Where are you going?"

"Bucknell."

"Yeah, that's not too cheap.  Maybe you should call your dad and tell him you've got a place to stay for the night."

"Fuck him!  He doesn't care.  Why would he have kicked me out in the first place?"

Touché, I thought.  "What time are you working tomorrow?"

"I've got to be there at 10.  You're not going to tell anyone else I'm gay, are you."

"Actually, I just called everyone I knew and told them the truth."

I cursed myself the minute that joke left my lips.  A look of pain swept across his face.  "Seriously, please don't say anything.  Not even to your parents.  You didn't say anything to your dad, did you?"  It looked like he might start crying again.

"Of course not, I'm sorry," I apologized.  He got up and started to unpack his suitcase.  "Well, do you want to talk about it?  Maybe I can give you some advice."

"I hardly know you."

"Well, you are staying at my place.  I know your secret and you need someone to talk to.  Did your dad threaten you at all?"

"Look, I'm pretty tired.  Maybe we could do this another time.  I'd kind of like to be alone right now."

"Fair enough.  The bathroom is down the hall on your left.  Help yourself to anything you want for breakfast tomorrow morning.  But please don't wake me up, I'm sleeping in tomorrow.  I finally got a day off."

"Okay," he said.  I got up and walked out of the room.  He called to me right before I closed his door.  "Steve?"  I peaked my head back in the room.  "Thanks.  Thanks a whole lot."

"You're very welcome, Adam.  We'll talk more tomorrow.  I'll see you at the club, okay?"

I went to bed and slept like a baby.  After six straight days of work, my body was exhausted.  Before I drifted off to sleep I thought about Adam.  I knew he was gay, now.  I'm not sure how he felt about me but the door was open now if I wanted to go for him.  But I also thought about Ryan.  I liked Ryan.  I was starting to like him a lot now.  That whole thing in the shower made me question if Ryan could ever love me, but love will make you do foolish things.  DID I love him?  I've only known the kid for a couple of days.  Well, that wasn't true, I had known him for the whole summer he was working there as well.  If I made a move for Adam, what would that mean for Ryan and me?  As these thoughts rattled around in my head I drifted off to sleep.

My dad woke me up at 12:30 to see if I was still alive.  He was already in his golf clothes.  He had been working for a big corporation his whole life in Human Resources.  He had only golfed a little bit when he was younger.  Since I offered to take him golfing that first time, we had made it a tradition to go every Monday.  He always took the whole day off.  He had a lot of vacation days saved up.  It was really cool because my dad and I never had shared an activity like this before.  I mean, its not like we were estranged or anything.  We had a pretty good relationship, but I think we both realized that this was a treat for us both.  A whole afternoon together doing something enjoyable.  It was different then spending time with him on vacation, or doing house work or chores because it was just us and we were outside on a beautiful course goofing off and having a good time.

I had brunch, a hamburger and a hot dog.  Hey, it was the summer.  That's all I ever ate during the warm months.  We left for the club and on the way he asked me more about Adam.

"Why was he kicked out?"

"I have no idea," I lied.  "He wasn't to forthcoming about the details.  He'll open up when he feels like talking about it.  What did mom say about it?"

"She's happy to have him stay here.  She called me from work around 10 and asked whose car was in the driveway."  My mom worked the day shift at Danbury Hospital.  She was out of the house around 6am on the days that she worked.

"She probably thinks our house is turning into a hotel," I joked.  We drove the rest of the way in relative silence.  We were in his weekend car, a red Mercedez-Benz 450SL convertible.  He had the radio blasting out oldies and I was in a pretty good mood.  It was another gorgeous day and I could now relax on the golf course rather than scramble around it.

Tom at the pro shop greeted me warmly.  The guys there liked me a lot because I greased them with free drinks.  I kept them happy and the cooks happy.  That way, anytime I wanted to get onto the course I could and I always got the best food from the kitchen.  He got us a cart and we were soon teeing off from the first.  Despite the nice weather, the course was practically empty.  I was glad because my dad and I liked our privacy.  We were just about the worst golfers around.  After we putted on nine, he headed over towards ten.  I asked him to drop me off at the snack shed so I could talk to Adam.  Only Ryan was there when I got there.

"Hey dude."

"Hey Steve!  How's the golf?"

"It sucks, but its better than working."

"Yeah, I don't know how you spend everyday of the week at the club.  I avoid this place like the plague on off days."

"Yeah, it is kind of depressing to be here all the time.  You know where Adam is?"

"What do you need to talk to him for?"  Ryan suddenly got defensive, dare I say jealous.  I realized what I'd just done.  How was I going to tiptoe around this one?

"I... well he told me he wanted to talk to me today."

"Why?"

"I don't know.  That's what I'm trying to find out."

He looked at me questioningly, and then suddenly brightened up.  "Hmm.  I wonder what he wants?  Well here he comes, you can ask him yourself."  I turned around to see him walking back from inside the club's lockeroom.  He seemed nervous as he approached us.

"Hey Steve, what's going on?"

"Well, I'm coming by to see what you wanted to talk to me about," I prodded him, hoping he'd pick up my story.

"What do you mean?"

"You said you wanted to talk to me today?" I stammered.  Come one, you jackass, I thought.  Pick up the story.

"I did?"

"Uh, yeah, I thought so."  This was not going well.

"Oh yeah," he recovered.  He didn't cover it up too well though.  "Yeah, well, why don't you take a walk with me?" he stammered.  He swallowed and looked back at Ryan.  I turned to Ryan and saw that he was staring pretty hard Adam.  This situation was quite uncomfortable.  We walked away from the snack shed and into the parking lot, where no one was lurking around.  "What was that about?  What the hell did you say to him?" Adam asked, a little bit perturbed.

"I didn't say anything to him," I explained.  "Just that you had said you wanted to talk to me."

"But I didn't say that.  You said you'd come by to talk to me.  Why was he looking at me like that?"

"I don't know," I stammered.  "But don't get pissed at me, I'm on your side here, you know."

He looked back at me and then dropped his head in shame.  "Gees, I'm sorry.  You're letting me stay at your house and you've been so great to me, even after you found out I was gay."  He kicked a rock in disgust.  It came awfully close to the door of a brand new BMW Z3.

"Careful there, Pélé.  You don't have the money to be spending to repair a BMW."

He stared at the rock as it rolled away harmlessly, and chuckled.  "Shit, that car's worth more than me.  But no, I'm sorry I snapped like that.  I just thought you might have said something to him.  Ryan isn't first on the list of people I would tell, you know?"

I thought to myself, "Gees kid, you'd be surprised at what his reaction might be."  I was in quite an awkward situation now.  Adam, had come out to me and was staying at my house for at least a week.  I was starting to become very friendly with Ryan, whom I realized,  I might even be falling in love with.  Both of them did not want their secrets revealed to the world.  I'm sure if I would have told either one, they wouldn't have cared.  After all, we were all sort of in the same boat.  But, how would I explain the situation to Ryan without revealing Adam's secret.  And once Ryan found out that Adam was living with me, he was bound to get a little jealous of Adam, maybe even hostile.  But I couldn't reveal Ryan's secret either.  I think I was going to have to make a choice and "out" someone to the other person just to keep things from getting crazy.  But which one would I "out"?

"What time do you get off work?" I asked Adam, changing the subject to both him and inside my head.

"6."

"We'll be home by then.  My mom is fine with your staying with us as well.  She's happy to help out."

"Cool, well I've got to get back to work.  Nap time at the kiddy pool is almost over."  I laughed at his little joke and slapped him on the back.

"Go ahead, back to your important, life saving work," I joked.

"Hey you should talk, its not like your job couldn't be performed by a trained monkey," he joked back.  I loved his sense of humor.  It was dry and his delivery was perfect.  I hoped he would cheer up over the next couple of days so I could enjoy more of it.  I stopped by the shed to talk to Ryan.

"What was that about?" he asked me.

"Nothing," I said.  "Don't get all excited.  Do you want to see a movie tonight?"

"Yeah."  His face brightened up.  "Call me around 8:00, okay?"

I agreed and went back out to join my dad.  We finished the other half of the course in two hours.  None of our scores were even close to breaking a 100.  But he did slightly better than me.  When we got home my mother was sitting on the sofa, reading the paper.

"Well, how are my two golfers?"

"I'd be careful referring to us using the g-word," my dad joked.  We spent most of the time looking around in the woods for our balls."

She laughed at his joke and said, "What do you guys want to do for dinner?  I'm exhausted."

"We could order a pizza," I jumped in, not giving my dad enough time for his standard answer.  Whenever my mom didn't feel like cooking, my dad would make tomato soup and grilled cheese, his favorite meal.  I liked it to, but not when I ate almost every other night.

"How's that sound to you, Bob?"

"Fine," he replied.

"Is your friend eating with us?" she asked me.

"Yup, I assume so."

"Get a large and a medium then."

I called up the pizza place and put in an order for a large cheese and a medium sausage and broccoli.  After fifteen, minutes I headed down to pick it up.  This place didn't deliver.  I got home before Adam and we all sat around the TV and dug in.  Real quality family time, I guess.

Adam pulled into my driveway around 6:15.  He rang the front doorbell.  I had to chuckle.  I went in through the kitchen and into the foyer to answer the door.  "Hey, since you live here you don't need to ring the doorbell," I said.

"I know but it just feels a little weird."

"Okay, but try to make an effort to feel like you're at home.  We want you to comfortable here, okay?"

"All right," he said, stepping in through the doorway.

"We've got pizza out in the family room, are you hungry?"

"I'm starving," he said to me.  "Guess who called me at work?"

I immediately got excited and said, "Your father?!"

"No, my step mom."

"Well what did she say?"

"I don't know, I never called her back.  Ryan gave me the message."

"Why didn't you call her back?"  We paused at the entrance to the kitchen to finish the conversation before we went out into the family room.

"I'm pissed," he said.

"But, Adam, they're probably trying to make amends."

"Well, maybe I'll call them tonight."  He went into the family room to say hello to my parents and officially meet them.  I heard the pleasantries being exchanged as I fixed him a soda.  He was very polite and thanked them profusely for allowing him to stay there.

We ate dinner and watched syndication episodes of Seinfeld and (at my request) the Simpsons.  I'm one of those Simpsons nuts who never misses an episode.  After dinner, Adam went upstairs to shower and get dressed.  He had the day off tomorrow and was going out to look for an apartment.

"Well, he's a real nice young man," my mother said.  Didn't she say the same thing about Ryan?  "Do you know why his parents kicked him out?"

"No, he's been shy about it."

"Well, give him time to open up to you, Steven.  He'll talk when he's ready."

"Yeah, that's my plan."  After I heard the shower stop I waited for 20 minutes.  When he still hadn't come back down I went up to check on him.  He was sitting on my brother's bed reading a book.  He was wearing beige cutoffs with a nice blue collared shirt.  I knocked on the door and he looked up at me.

"What's up?"

"I'm just coming up here to see what you're up to."

"Oh nothing, I guess just checking out this book.  I love Clancy."  He was a holding a copy of The Cardinal of the Kremlin.  I had read it before and thought it was quite good.

"Can I talk to you about something?" I asked.

"Sure, come in."

I went and sat on the bed next to him.  He smelled real good, with that fresh-just-out-of-the-shower smell.  I couldn't help wanting to jump his body right there.  But he was probably in no mood and I thought back to Ryan.  I was supposed to go to a movie with him tonight.  "I just want to clear something up with you, that's all.  I don't know whether or not I should be telling you this or not..."  I fumbled, searching for the right words to use.

"Look, Steve, I think I know what you're going to say."  I looked over at him curiously.  "I'm gay, but I won't like, hit on you or anything.  And I'm sorry I leaned against you when I was crying last night, but I just wanted to be held.  I don't have any feelings for you, so you don't have to worry."  I laughed out loud.

"Adam, you couldn't be any further from the mark.  I mean, you're off the freaking wall with that dart."

"What do you mean?"

"You know that uncomfortable feeling between you, Ryan, and I this afternoon?"

"Yeah, he acted weird around me all day at work."

"Well that's because Ryan and I have been fooling around, lately.  In fact, I'm going on a date with him tonight."

Adam's jaw dropped wide open.  Then he laughed and said, "You mean, you and Ryan are... you guys are, queers?"

"Well, yes.  Join the club, queerboy..  But obviously he doesn't want anyone to know about him either.  And I can't tell him about you, to protect yourself as well.  I think he thought I might have been trying to hit on you so he got jealous."

"I can't believe it, Ryan!"  He shook his head in disbelief.  "He just broke up with his girlfriend.  So you guys are, pretty close?" he asked me.

"Yeah."  I decided to open up to him with the feelings I had for Ryan.  At least there was someone I could talk to about it.  "I am really starting to like this guy.  He insists that he's straight and he just wants to have a little fun with me.  But I'm starting to get some good vibes."

"That's great," he said.  "He's really hot.  You think he might be starting to feel the same way about you?"

"Maybe, otherwise he probably wouldn't have gotten so jealous."

"That's true.  I hope things work out for you guys."  He grinned at me and I returned the smile.  What a nice guy I thought.  I never had a male friend back home that with whom I could talk to about this stuff.  I was happy to have Adam to confide in.

"What about you?  Are you seeing anyone?" I asked.

"No, I don't even know anyone around here.  Maybe you could introduce me to some people?"

I shook my head and said, "You and Ryan are about the only guys I know.  This place isn't exactly San Francisco."  It was true.  I'm sure there were other gay guys in the area, but there were no bars or places where I could meet any.  It was a conservative area and the gay population was pretty closeted.

"Hmm, that's too bad.  Well, if I end up going to school I hope to meet some nice guys there."

"You're cute as hell," I said.  "You're going to have to end up beating them off with sticks."  He laughed.

"I'd rather be beating off something else," he quipped.

"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes.  "Now, what can I say to Ryan about this situation?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well when he finds out you're living here he might get suspicious.  Can I tell him about your umm, situation?"

Adam got uncomfortable.  "You mean, that I'm gay?"

"Yeah, and the reason you're staying over here."

"I'm not sure I want Ryan to know that.  He's got a pretty big mouth."

"I don't think he'd say anything.  He's in the same boat as you.  He wouldn't want you spreading the word around the club about him."

"I just don't know.  I'd feel uncomfortable about him knowing."

"Okay," I said.  "But he is going to find out you're staying here."

"Why?"

"Well, if he comes to visit, or even spend the night.  He might just notice, you know?"

"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.  We can just tell him that my dad and I are having a rough spot."

"What about my parents?" I asked.

"Do they know about you?"  I nodded.  "Well, maybe I'll tell them tonight.  I should be open with them after all, since I'm staying here."

I went out to use the phone and call up Ryan.

"Hello?" a female voice said.

"Hi, is Ryan there?"

"Sure, just a minute."  I heard his mom call up to him that he had a phone call.  A few minutes later I heard him pick up the line.

"Hello?"

"Ryan, its Steve."

"Hey, sexy.  How are you?"

"Just fine.  Are you in the mood for a movie?"

"I'm in the mood for a lot more than a movie," he said.  I could picture his grin.  We made plans and I as I hung up the phone I thought about what Adam would be doing.  He was having such a rough time and he'd have to sit home alone and probably watch TV with my parents.  I had to invite him.  Screw the consequences.

I went back to my brother's room and said to him, "We're going to see There's Something About Mary.  You want to go?"

"What, with you two?  Of course not!  It's a date."

"Yeah, but you're welcome to come along.  I'd hate to think of you sitting home alone with my parents."

"Don't worry about me, I think I'm going to read this book."

"Adam, please come.  I promise things won't be awkward, in fact, I'll call up my other friends and we'll all go together."

He firmly stood his ground and I finally gave up when he convinced me he would be fine.  I can't even remember what movie we saw.  I think it might have been There's Something About Mary, but I can't be sure.  If I knew what was playing around that time I'm sure I would remember.  I picked him up and we went to a 9:30 showing.  He paid for the tickets and I paid for the soda and popcorn.  I was surprised he wasn't that nervous being on a date with me.  We didn't show any sort of PDA, but two guys at a movie theater together can sometimes be misinterpreted.

The movie was hilarious.  I nearly pissed my pants.  My favorite part was when Ben Stiller tried to pronounce Favre's name.  I saw the movie again when I was in France and only the Americans in the theater laughed.  Apparently the Europeans aren't too familiar with the Green Bay Packers.  On the drive home Ryan dropped me a subtle hint.

"Hey, let's pull off the road and fool around."  Okay, so it wasn't too subtle.  I pulled onto a minor road where I was sure there wouldn't be too much traffic.  I turned off the lights and killed the engine.  Ryan started massaging my leg with his hand.

"I think I'm up," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"It's my turn to pleasure you," he said, smiling seductively.  His hand reached across my crotch and undid the fly on my shorts.

"Well, I guess its only fair," I responded, giving in pretty easily.  He reached his hands down my pants and undid the button on my boxers.  I was pretty sure this was going to be quick because I hadn't gotten off since Thursday.  His mouth was hot and warm and felt great as he clamped down around my cock.  I ran my hands through his hair and leaned my head back against my seat, getting ready to enjoy the moment.  He cupped my nuts with his hand as he began to suck me off.  His mouth has hot and steamy and it was wrapped tightly around my dick.  Now and then he would slurp loudly as it came loose from his mouth, only to be quickly recaptured.  He moved up and down on me, alternately sucking me hard and soft.  My hand massaged his head and I was quite vocal in my grunts of pleasure.  My eyes were closed and as he sucked me off I pictured his naked body and remembered the smell of his crotch.  I traced his happy trail into his pubes with an imaginary finger.  I was getting really excited now.

His fingers moved away from my balls and started to explore my belly button.  I squirmed with ecstasy as his tongue lashed around my innie.  All of a sudden he started sucking me really hard and I realized I was going to blow.  I warned him and felt my body shudder as I filled his mouth with my cum.  He swallowed it all down and kept on sucking me off.  He wanted to milk every last drop out of me.  I shivered again as his tongue explored my sensitive head.  I reached down and pulled his head off of my penis, and said, "Okay, okay.  That's real sensitive after I blow."

He straightened up and said, "I know, why do you think I torture you?"  Then he reached down and gently put my dick back into my shorts and zipped them up.  He leaned against my shoulder and I hugged his head close to my breast.  We sat there in silence while I recovered.

I looked down at Ryan and saw that he had his eyes closed.  His breath was hot against my shoulder.  I was really falling for him.  At the movies we had had a great time and when I spent time with him it just felt right.

I whispered in his ear, "Ryan, I really like you."

His eyes opened and he said, "Steve, we can't see each other anymore."  He grinned, so I could tell he was joking.

"Seriously, I am really starting to like you."  He looked a bit uncomfortable and squirmed as he tried to change the subject.

"Yeah, well, you ain't so bad yourself.  What'd you think about the movie?"

"Don't change the subject on me.  What are you thinking about all of this?"

He sat up and leaned back into his seat.  "I thought we talked about this," he said and his mood became serious.

"What do you mean?"

"About this just being something fun to do.  That this wasn't going to lead to anything serious."

My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach.  "Well, I don't know about you, but I think this is becoming something serious."

He just stared straight ahead, biting his lip.  I tried to read his eyes but couldn't.  He was obviously tossing something around in his head.  I prodded him again, "You don't think you're not falling for me at all, even if I am a guy?"  The truth is, I was pretty sure he was.

"No, I don't think I'm falling for you."  Oh, I was so sure he was lying.

"So how come the jealousy around Adam?" I accused him.

"What!  What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I saw the way you were looking at him when I came to talk to him.  Plus he told me tonight that you acted weird around him all day."  I bit my lip as I just realized I had given away the fact that he was living with me.  I had not prepared an excuse yet.

"When did you talk to him, did you ask for his number?"  He was looking at me accusatively, and with jealousy I might add.

"There you go again, you're jealous," I pointed out.

His face turned red and he angrily denied being jealous.  "What about you, you say you like me but now you're hitting on Adam!"

"I'm not hitting on him at all," I said.  "Truth be known, he's staying at my house but I'm totally uninterested in him.  I'm only interested in you."

Ryan changed the expression on his face to one of curiosity.  "Really, he's staying at your house?"

"Yeah, he got kicked out of his house by his father and I found him sleeping by Deep's Market so I offered to have him stay at my place until things settle back down.  That's it."

"Why was he kicked out?"

"I have no idea, he doesn't seem to want to talk about it.  But as I said, I'm not at all interested in him."

Ryan looked up at me and said softly, "Why are you interested in me, Steve?"

"Why do you think dumbass, because I'm starting to really, really like you.  You're a great guy, who's fun to be with.  Plus, you have a great body.  And you've been sending me signals that you're getting into me as well and if you deny it you're a fool."

"Well then call me a fool and take me home, please," he coldly said.  I couldn't believe it.  Had I just screwed things up between us beyond repair?  I started the car and headed towards Brookfield to drop him off.  I tried to make small talk as best as I could waiting for his mood to change so I could work in an apology, yet still try to get him to admit he liked me.  He answered all my questions quickly and coldly.  He didn't seem to be in the mood to say anything.

I pulled into the driveway and I asked him for a goodnight kiss.  He opened the door and got out.  "Ryan," I called out.  He shut the door and leaned in through the window.

He was still upset as he said, "What?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" he said.  The blank expression on his face didn't change at all and he spoke in a monotone voice.

"For coming down on you hard.  Let's just drop the whole mess and forget about it."

"Why should we forget about it," he challenged me.  "I think its blatantly clear."

"What is clear?"

"That you're falling in love with something you can never have.  Good night, Steve."  He turned around and walked away before I could say anything.  I called out to him but he ignored me and continued into his house.  As he shut the front door I couldn't help but wonder if he might have been also shutting the door to his life on me.

Comments are welcome at h_2_t@hotmail.com.