Date: Wed, 8 Jul 2009 12:15:41 -0500
From: Matt James <nordictiger790@hotmail.com>
Subject: You Hear I Want -- Chapter 4 (College)

Disclaimer: If you live in an area where reading material involving two
males undergoing sexual acts is illegal, I suggest you stop reading now, as
this document may be considered heinous and/or unlawful. Also, any relation
to people living or dead is just coincidental! This story is complete
fiction!

---

Background Information: American Sign Language (ASL) is a non-verbal
language used primarily in the United States and Canada among the Deaf
community. It is very different from English, as it is a visual language,
with a grammar and syntax of its own. I will do my best (as a hearing
person) to demonstrate how Deaf people communicate by typing signed
conversations as all capital letters with lowercase letters representing
unsigned words to help the understanding in English.

---

"YOU HEAR, I WANT" by Matt James
Chapter 4

Being home for Thanksgiving was great. I got to catch up with all of my
friends from high school, and it was a nice relief from the fast paced
college life I had experienced so far at RIT. Unlike most schools, it ran
on a quarter system. This meant we crammed classes into 10 week slots with
an 11th final week, then a short 2 week vacation. We had three quarters a
year: fall, winter, and spring.

My fall quarter had come to a close the week before Thanksgiving, meaning I
had already experienced my first finals, which actually weren't too bad,
while my friends at home were still in the middle of their first semester.

As much as I loved being home, I wanted to get right back to school. I
missed all of my new friends and, to be honest, my newfound freedom that I
had from my parents. After all, I'd be back in a few weeks for winter
break.

---

Kyle had been bugging me, along with all of our friends, the entire week to
go to his hockey team's fundraiser on the weekend. "GO MUST! (You HAVE to
go!)"

"ICE SKATING DETEST. IT, SKILLFUL I NOT! (I hate ice skating. I'm so
terrible at it!)"

"THINKING? YOU GO, ICE SKATING LEARN. (Duh! If you go, then you'll learn
how to ice skate.)"

"BREAK EVERYTHING. EXAMPLE, ASS. (And I'll break everything. Including my
ass.)"

"TEACHER I WILL. WORRY, NOT. (I'll be your teacher. Don't worry about it.)"

Excuses never worked with him. If he wanted me to do something, he'd
eventually somehow convince me to do it.

---

The ice rink was PACKED full of people when we got there. I had somehow
managed to get a few of my friends, including Will, to come along with
me. We waited for over 10 minutes in line for rental skates, after donating
a few bucks to the hockey team, before Kyle saw us and told us to follow
him. He sat us down at some benches and asked us all our shoe sizes. After
taking them all down he left us.

It took him about 3 trips, but he had finally gotten us all ice skates. I
was kind of upset that we didn't have to wait in line. This meant more time
to fall and bust my ass.

"Dude, you're sweating," Will pointed out.

"Yeah, it's a little warm in here."

"Uh.. we're in an ice rink Pete."

I sighed. "I hate ice skating." Will laughed and stepped onto the ice as I
followed suit. It seemed like he was gliding. Seeing him move around gave
me the courage to attempt to skate. I felt my foot slip and I fell right on
my face. I didn't even last a second!

"Hahahaha.. ahahahahahaha.. oh.. oh my God, are you okay? Ahahahahahahaha!"

"Augh.. ugh, yeah.. I'm.. fine."

"Hahahahaha I'm sorry.. but hahaha that was awesome!" I got to my feet
again and pushed Will. "Hey hey hey, I wouldn't do that if I were
you. Karma is a bitch."

"Yeah, well you're a bitch too." He laughed and glided away. "Will, what
the hell? Come back!"

"See ya homo!" I rolled my eyes and wondered how I was gonna make it
through this.

I shuffled a little bit before our mutual friend, also named Will, hockey
stopped right next to me. "Hey Pete, how's it goin'?"

"Oh, hey Two, um.. how does it look like it's going?" Will and I had
decided to call him Two, as in Will #2, even though their personalities
were totally different.

"Haha, well.. it looks like you're having trouble. Want some advice?"

"Sure," I needed help to save myself from unwanted bruises and broken
bones. Two gave me a few basic tips before he wanted me to try moving
again. I reluctantly stuck out one foot after the other and shifted my
weight how he had told me. I was moving! "..heh, haha I'm moving!"

"Yeah man, good job! Just keep doing that and you'll eventually get used to
it."

Doing a few laps around the rink had eventually worn me out and made my
feet feel ultra-sore. They sure were used to abuse from running, but not
the type of abuse that the ice skates were putting on them. I pulled myself
into one of the team boxes and sat on the bench. There were so many people
around that could ice skate really well! I was sorta jealous.

I began unlacing my skates when I saw a hand waving from the corner of my
eye. It was Kyle.

"ALREADY SITTING YOU? (You're already taking a break?)"

"FEET HURT! (My feet hurt!)" I pointed at my feet and signaled that they
were hurting.

"YOU PRETTY FLOWER YOU. PULL [the laces] TIGHT MUST. STOP HURTING YOUR
FEET. (You're so delicate.. You have to lace them tightly, then your feet
will stop hurting.)"

"PULL [the laces] TIGHT? I WANT RELIEF, MORE TIGHT NOT! (Pull them tighter?
I wanna give my feet a break, not suffocate them more!)"

"AFTER, TRY. WORK, YOU WILL SEE. (Just try it afterwards. It'll work.)"

I waved him away while nodding my head is a disregarding manner when I went
back to unlacing my ice skates. I saw another wave and looked up, expecting
to see Kyle again. But it wasn't him. It was someone else. He looked really
familiar.

"HI," he greeted.

I was hesitant, "HI. [umm] YOU WHO? (Hi. Umm.. who're you?)"

He circled the letter M on the left side of his chest, "M[circle]." I
looked at him for a second. "M-A-T-T. YOU FORGET YOU? (Matt. You forgot?)"

Oh! It was the kid from the cafeteria that first week I was at school. Wow,
it'd been a long time since I've seen him. "STUPID. SORRY, LONG TIME [ago]
TWO OF US MEET. HOW YOU? (I'm so dumb. Sorry, it's been a long time since
we met. How are you?)"

"FINE FINE. COME HERE ICE SKATING PRACTICE, FRIENDS 1-2-3 BE TOGETHER. YOU
DOING HOW?(Fine, fine; I came here to practice my ice skating and hang out
with a few friends. How are you doing?)"

"ME?" I guess I zoned out. "[uhhh..] ... I GOOD! (I'm good!)" I couldn't
think for some reason.

"SURE, YOU? YOU FACE CONFUSED! (Are you sure? You look confused!)" He
laughed and smiled. His voice was surprisingly deep. He was about 5'11",
and had broad shoulders with a nicely shaped chest. He looked masculine,
but he didn't look THAT masculine.

"YOUR VOICE LOW, YOU KNOW? (Did you know that your voice is deep?)"

"YEAH YEAH, OF COURSE. BEFORE I HEARING. (Yeah, of course. I used to be
hearing.)" He said it so non-chalantaly.

"REALLY?" It wasn't customary to ask a person if he/she lost their hearing
and how, but I really wanted to know. I had to bite my tongue (or hold my
hands down in this case).

"YEAH," he shrugged, "DO WHAT? (What can ya do?)" The only response I could
think of was to nod my head. He motioned for me to go with him.

"WHERE?"

"ICE SKATING, DUMB. (Ice skating, duh.)"

I looked down and laughed, "FEET HURT." I pointed at my feet.

"ONLY, MORE PULL TIGHT. AFTER, FEEL FINE. (Just pull your laces
tighter. They'll feel fine after that.)" Seems like everyone was thinking
the same thing!

"O-K, MINUTE. (Alright, give me a moment.)" I relaced my skates and pulled
them as tight as I could. I stepped back onto the ice and felt my balance
slip. A thought flashed through my head, "Great, I'm gonna embarrass myself
in front of him now." Just then, Matt caught me.

He put me back on my feet and had me sustain myself by putting my hand on
his shoulder. With a smile, he asked, "YOU, ICE SKATING SKILLFUL NOT YOU?
(You're not good at ice skating, are you?)"

I shook my head and said with one hand, "I LEARNING. (I'm learning.)"

"HELP YOU, I CAN. IF YOU WANT. (I can help you if you want.)"

His shoulder let off a ton of body heat, and I my cold hand didn't wanna
let go. But I did. I shook my head no, "I FINE. MY ROOMMATE SUPPOSED [to]
TEACH ME. (No, I'm fine. My roommate is supposed to teach me.)"

"YOUR ROOMMATE, WHERE? (Where's your roommate?)"

Kyle had perfect timing. Just then he skated up to us and stopped. "READY
FASTER [than] I EXPECTED! (You were ready sooner than I thought!)" He
looked at Matt, "M[circle] HI! (Hi Matt!) WHAT'S UP?"

"NOTHING REALLY. THE TWO OF YOU MEET? (Nothing really. You guys know each
other?)"

"THE TWO OF US ROOMMATES. (We're roommates.)," we signed at the same
time. Matt let out his deep laugh again.

"THE TWO OF YOU MEET HOW? (How'd you guys meet?)," I asked.

Kyle responded before Matt raised his hands, "BEFORE, AUTUMN, PSYCHOLOGY
HAVE TOGETHER. SIT SIT CLOSE. (We had psychology together in the fall. We
sat right next to each other.)"

"OH I SEE."

"KYLE, YOU TEACH ICE SKATING HIM, SUPPOSED [to]? (Kyle, aren't you supposed
to be teaching him how to ice skate?)," Matt asked.

"ICE SKATE YOU CAN. YOU TEACH HIM. HELP THEM, HOPELESS, MY DUTY. (You can
ice skate, you teach him. I gotta go help the rest of these hopeless
people.)" And with that, Kyle waved to us and skated up to a person who
looked like she would eventually kill herself on the ice.

Matt instructed me for the next half-hour or so. He was really patient and
helpful. He smiled whenever I instinctively glanced at him whenever I made
a mistake that I thought would displease him. Talking with him seemed so
natural. Signing seemed to flow much more smoothly with him than I had ever
signed with any other person. I didn't have to think or translate in my
head. It just came out; it really put me at ease.

We talked about a lot in-between skating tips. He revealed that he had a
deaf dad and a hearing mom. He grew up in the Rochester area, due to its
large Deaf community. It was just so much easier for his dad to live in
close proximity of a large Deaf population.

We finally decided to stop skating when my feet began growing sore again. I
hadn't really noticed them the entire time I was with Matt. Either
tightening my laces helped a lot, or he had just distracted me really
well. I really didn't know which it was.

"ICE CREAM, YOU WANT? WE GO B-E-N J-E-R-R-Y CAN. YOU WANT? (You wanna get
ice cream? We can go to Ben & Jerry's if you want.)," he invited.

I didn't want ice cream, but I definitely wanted to hang out with him a
little more, "THAT SORTA COLD. ICE CREAM, YOU GET. I BUY HOT COCOA [or]
SOMETHING. (It's sorta cold for that. You can get ice cream. I'll buy a hot
cocoa or something.)" I really wanted to ask him about going deaf, but I
didn't want to be rude. "QUESTION [for you]. PERSONAL MAYBE?"

"O-K. I DON'T MIND."

"BEFORE YOU SAID 'PAST I HEARING.' (You said before that you used to be
hearing.)"

"YES," he looked down.

Shit. Did I mess this up? I mean he mentioned it before with no
problem. "ASK, I CAN? (Can I ask about that?)"

"I was hearing until I was 16," he stated flatly in a muffled voice. "I bet
I sound so stupid." I think that was the first negative thing he'd said all
night.

I shook my head 'no.' "YOUR VOICE FINE." I could tell he couldn't hear
himself. He spoke normally for the most part. He just sounded a bit nasal
and had an odd inflection in his voice for a few words. After all, it had
to have been at least 2 years since he heard himself last. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

I was surprised he kept speaking, "My family and I went to France for
vacation the summer between sophomore and junior year. I contracted
meningitis." He paused and looked at me for some sort of approval to
continue using his voice. I nodded. "It could have killed me, you know? If
it weren't for my sudden loss of hearing.. we never would have went to the
doctor. Thanks to my auditory nerves dying, they caught the meningitis in
time."

"[exaggerated] SORRY... IMAGINE I CAN'T. (I'm so sorry.. I can't imagine
that.)" We walked for a few minutes without any conversation. When we got
to Ben & Jerry's, he ordered a cone with his voice. It was interesting to
hear him talk. I kept imagining what he sounded like before he had lost his
hearing. I felt a weird stirring in my chest every time he said
something. I kept finding myself staring in his eyes. When it came time for
me to order, he waved his free hand in front of my face.

"NOW, YOUR CHANCE... (It's your turn now..)"

"Oh, sorry, um.." I ordered some hot float thing that had pumpkinspice ice
cream in it. We walked toward a nearby courtyard and sat on a
bench. Luckily, it hadn't snowed the past few days and our asses were
spared the wet and cold assault. "ICE CREAM, I CAN'T BELIEVE. (I can't
believe you're eating ice cream.)"

"DELICIOUS. Plus, I'm plenty warm." Matt's voice stirred in my chest.

I let out a sarcastic laugh, "I wish you could I could say the same. I'm
freezing."

"What?" he asked.

"SORRY SORRY! BECAUSE YOU [were] SPEAKING, YOU DEAF I FORGOT.. (Sorry
sorry! Since you were speaking, I forgot that you were deaf..)"

"O-K. (That's okay.) YOU SAID WHAT? (What'd you say?)"

"ONLY [that] YOU FORTUNATE. I COLD! I WISH WARM. (I was just saying that
you're lucky. I'm freezing! I wish I was warm.)" I guess saying he was
fortunate was a little ironic, considering he just finished talking about
losing his sense of sound.

He smiled. Then he put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.
"How's that?"

I was a little shocked. Not only by him putting his arm around me, but by
his warmth. It felt like I was cuddled up next to a fireplace. "GOOD." He
couldn't see, but I was looking around the courtyard to see if anyone saw
us. Luckily, it was cold, and no one was out there with us.

"Peter?"

"P-E-T-E FINE SAME. P-E-T-E-R, FORMAL. (Pete is fine too. Peter sounds
formal.)"

"Pete."

"YES."

"We should hang out more."

"I AGREE." Every moment that passed, I felt like his body heat was becoming
more intense. Being so close, I could actually smell him. He had a light
clean smell. It was a mix of clean clothes and deodorant.

"What are you thinking about right now?" He spoke quietly, but I could feel
his low voice reverberate through his chest that was touching my back and
shoulder. I felt that stirring in my chest again.

"THINKING? NOT. (I'm not thinking right now.)," I replied slowly.

He didn't say anything for a while. I turned to look at him to see if
things were okay. It surprised me a little bit to see that he was already
looking at me. All of a sudden, Matt pulled me in even closer to him and
kissed me softly on the lips.

I wasn't cold anymore.

---

I'm SO sorry this chapter took so long guys! I've been so busy with life
lately, that I haven't been able to find the time to write. I was also
stuck for a little bit, but I got some inspiration from a good friend
(shoutout pour Angelo)! I hope you guys enjoyed it! I would absolutely love
to hear from you guys (praise, criticism, or just shoot the shit), any
feedback is appreciated! I promise to try my best to get back to you as
soon as I read your message! :) email me at nordictiger790@hotmail.com