Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998 17:49:33 -0500
From: djanus@hotmail.com
Subject: Finding My Way

Finding My Way
by
Djanus

Part I

It had been a long journey filled with the doubts and the uncertainties
and most of all the fears that I was somehow weird and not knowing just
what I was or who I was. The incidents that have been revealed thus far
in other stories have led one down the path of my discovery of my own
sexuality of being truly bi with the real cravings for sex with men or
women. I denied the male part for many years and only within the past 7
or 8 years have let it become a part of me that now I can accept an act
on with enjoyment minus all the guilt and delf denial.

It took a while for me to get here but here I am now and here I enjoy
being. It is at times still difficult for me to act freely fearing
discovery and ridicule but I am more active and also more into the
aggressive role of discovering men with whom I can enjoy being sexual
with. These are not men that are located in my small town but men from
different cities that I travel to in my routine activities. Now when I
go out I not only look for pussy but also explore the alternative of hot
cock which is equally as enticing for me now. Yes, I can say that I am a
"cocksucker" as well as a cunt lapper. Both being pleasurable for me and
giving me more options for an evening of pleasure.

Recently I had to take a trip south again and now whenever I head in
that direction I enjoy stopping in the porno store with the two bit
booths so I can enjoy watching the boys play on film and on occasion
watch the guy in the next booth play with himself. I don't actively seek
out cock here but if one comes through the hole I can play with it a
bit. I no longer give it a suck because of the AIDs thing but I do
handle it a bit from time to time if offered. And have on occasion
helped it cum by hand.  I digress, so back to my last trip which was
taking me to Atlanta again. I have now learned about several Gay spots
along the way as well as some fine massage parlors that are in the
dammest places. There is one in a small Tennessee town that you would
never suspect had such a spot and it is this place I am going to tell
you about.

I had been driving all day and towards the end of the day I was tired
and sore from being in the car for some 10 hours that day. As I got to
this little town in the Smokies just outside of Knoxville I had decided
that I had to stop so I began to look for a motel and managed to find
one that had a room. By the time I got in it was late so I felt
fortunate to find a good room but I was hungry so I asked the desk clerk
where I might get something to eat. He directed me to a cafe that was
about half a mile down the road from the motel. On the way there I drove
by this building that said massage clinic but went on the restaurant and
got some dinner. After eating I was really tired and seriously just
wanted to go back to the room and get some sleep but the thought of a
good massage also intrigued me so I decided to stop and see what the
deal was. I first thought it was one of those massage parlors with the
ugly ladies that give you a quick blow job for $ 60 to 100 and I knew I
wasn't in the mood for that but I did stop to check it out. Much to my
surprise the place was very nice inside with a very nice waiting room
and a young man sitting at a desk behind a glass partition much like a
doctors office might be. 

I asked about the massage and he told me that for a complete body
massage it was 50 dollars which included a hot shower and lotion
massage. Sounded  just right so I paid him my 50 and was shown into a
room that was nicely decorated with a chair a nice looking table with a
thin mattress and clean sheet on it. The young man told me to hang my
clothes up on the wall rack behind the curtain and to wrap myself in a
towel and he would be back. When he returned he led me to the showers
and was not saying a whole lot but was looking at me as he walked with
me to the shower room. When we got there he directed me to the shower
stall and as I adjusted the water he sat and watched me. When the water
was right for me I took the towel off and handed it to him and again
noticed him watching me as I started to shower. He smiled when he
noticed I knew he was watching me and asked me if the shower was good
and I told him yes. Now I am not a young husky type male that would make
some ones mouth water -- I know -- so it was a bit of a surprise that he was
taking an interest in me but again I was not thinking sex at this point.
I am 50 and look every bit of it but he seemed to not care about that.
When I stepped out of the water he was right there with the towel and
begin to dry me off which really felt good as he rubbed me very briskly.
He told me that this helped open the pores of the skin for the lotion so
I let him do his thing. When we went back to the room I walked without
the towel and was completely naked and he walked slightly behind me this
time. Back in the room he directed me to lay on the table and then began
to softly apply lotion and rub my back and neck and shoulders and it was
feeling so good I almost went to sleep but then his hands began to rub
my legs and my butt which really started turning me on even though he
had not been aggressive about my genitals. I think it was just the magic
touch his hands were having as he went up and down my legs and the
cheeks of my ass, especially when  he began to go on the inside of my
thighs. I even spread my legs a bit so it was easier for him. By now I
was horny and fairly sure that this young man was gay and was enjoying
my body. I decided to let him go and whatever happened would happened.
Little did I know that this decision was going to prove very fulfilling
for me.

He continue to gently rub the lotion in and then began to get a bit
harder with is hands applying more pressure and as he went up the inside
of my legs would go nearer and nearer my balls and cock. Finally he went
into the crack of my ass and his oily little hand went across my hole
and I felt a twinge of delight. Now he was becoming more aggressive and
his hands began to explore my body for real with his finger rubbing my
ass hole and his hands finding my sac. As I was on my stomach it was
hard for him to get to my cock but I continued to enjoy the hands as
they felt my balls and his finger probed my tight ass. Never having been
fucked it felt good when his small finger first found it way into  into
my tight hole and probed my prostate. I was really enjoying the whole
experience even though it was a bit uncomfortable in the beginning. I
guess he realized that by now I was really into his massage as he
continued the rubbing and gentle probing in and out of my crack and
around my balls. Throughout this whole time nothing had been said but I
had let him know how good it was by my soft moans when it was very
pleasurable. He bent over near my ear and I could feel his hot breath as
he softly told me to now turn over which I did. His hands continued to
move over my body but now it was my chest with a tweaking of my nipples
as he rubbed my tits and slowly worked his way down to my cock. Hot a
young hard cock but a 50 year old cock that was ready as could be for
some action and which I knew he was going to give me. He found it but
continued rubbing my legs especially the inside of my thighs and let his
hand brush the horny cock that was now very up right and pulsing about
reflexively. Soon I felt his hand take it completely and begin to
massage it up and down as his tongue lapped around the head almost
bringing me to climax but grabbing it hard at the base preventing the
ejaculation and prolonging the pleasure over and over.  What an
experience it was becoming. I was feeling better and better with each
passing moment as he began to go after my meat in a serious way now with
long sucking strokes and a tongue action that I could not believe. Each
time I came near to blowing my wad he would stop me and slow it down to
prolong the pleasure. Soon I could not hold it any longer and came in
big gushes. I had not cum like that since I was 20 years old. It seem to
just come and come and the intensity of the orgasm was unreal.  After I
cum he didn't stop but continued with the rubbing and the massage and I
then began to talk with him for the first time. I found out that this
was a real clinic for messages and most of the patients were referred by
local physicians and that there were a staff of four, two ladies and two
men, him being the youngest on the staff. Which is why he was working
late and that the clinic was not normally open that late. I asked him
why he decided to take me in if it was closing time and he told me that
I looked like I really needed a massage when I came in but he wasn't
sure that I would like what he did until he started on the inside of my
thighs and I opened my legs for him and then he suspected I would be
open to some hot sex as well as the massage and he was surely right.

He asked me where I was staying and I told him and invited him to stop
by before going home because I had decided I wanted some of that young
stuff if I could manage to get him to stop by and visit. Now I knew his
name and he knew mine and we had shared some very serious and good sex
but it had been very one sided with me getting all the good part. Now I
wanted to give some of the good part to him in return and because I like
what I was seeing and talking with. He said he would stop by for a drink
so as I made my way back I thought of the possible great evening I was
going to have and it was looking great . What happened at the motel is
another story in itself and I'll get to it a bit later but it was good,
that I can tell you.


Part II

As I drove back to the room I thought about the great experience that I
had just had in the Massage Clinic and was looking forward to showing
the young man that I could give as well as receive. It would be easy
since he was a nice looking young man and looked as if he had a nice
tool that would hang from what appeared to be a well developed body. It
wasn't long after I had returned to the room and there was a knock on
the door and I opened it to find young Darin standing there with a grin
on his face that said "now we are going to have fun". I let him in and
we started talking about just general things. I ask him if he wanted a
scotch and water because that was all I had in the room with me and he
accepted. As we sat drinking our scotch I told him a bit about myself
and how I came to accept the fact that I liked men as well as women. He
then proceeded to tell me about his experiences as a medical assistant
in the Navy and how during this time he realized and accepted the fact
that he was gay. Following the discussion of our past I suggested that
we began where we had left off only this time I wanted him to take off
his clothes  and we could begin with a shower together. 

In a very few minutes we were both stripped and viewing each other as if
we had never seen a naked man before. I must admit I was filled with
lust for his body since he was rather well built, without being too
muscular, and showed a nice, well proportioned frame with nice pecs
upon which rested nice large nipples . He also was rather smooth with
very little hair which I also like and prefer. We headed for the shower
and as we went into the bathroom I got my first touch of that hot skin
and body and immediately felt the blood rush towards my cock. I also
noticed that my little pat and rub on his ass had started to have an
effect on his cock as it began to get a bit bigger. The water was warm
and felt good as did the body that I now felt free to touch and rub with
my hands and other things as we began to soap each other up slowly at
first and as the heat increased so too did the action. We were both hot,
from the water and from the physical contact of hot bodies and hard
dicks that were being stroked and rubbed against each other as we
showered. When we finished the shower we took turns rubbing briskly with
the towels as we dried each other off only to begin to dampen the skin
with tongue licks as we grew more intense in our passion. This time,
however, I wanted to take the lead so I put him on his stomach on the
bed and took the bottle of lotion and spread it evenly on his back and
legs and begin the process of a gentle rubdown. Like I had done earlier
for him, his legs spread and I could go up his inner thighs to touch his
sac and run my hand up the crack of his ass feeling his tight hole as I
went back and forth. Soon I could not resist and stuck my finger in his
ass and he immediately humped up a bit to get more of it and at the same
time let out a moan of passion. I fingered his ass for a short time and
continued to tease him by running my hands lightly up the inside of his
thighs and playing with his sac. As the heat of passion became more I
could no longer hold back and began to lick where my hands had tread and
found my tongue searching for his tight little ass hole. As soon as I
found it he again hunched up so my tongue could rim him good and once
again my finger found it way in but this time my other hand slid under
him and found his hard dick pressed flat upon his tummy. As I finger
fucked his ass I began rubbing his cock with my hand and knew that soon
I would want that cock in my mouth and feel it explode in orgasm. I
moved my finger out and turned him over so I could begin to feel and
play with his hard big nipples that I had thought would be nice earlier.
They were everything that I had thought they would be as I sucked upon
them, gently bit them and in general enjoyed the taste, feel and texture
of them for a long time. Also while I as enjoying the tits I had that
nice hot cock in my hand stroking it and fondling his balls. I knew that
he was reaching the end point as he began to moan louder and move his
pelvis in response to the stroking. Not wanting him to cum without my
mouth around that lovely tool I moved from his tits to his cock and
began to tongue and suck his man hood with total delight. It was not
long before he came in gushes and I took it all and enjoyed the feel of
his throbbing cock shooting cum load after load. It was good and I was
really hot and he knew it. Being the person that he was he took my cock
in hand and guided it to his ass and told me to fuck him slowly which I
preceded to do. At the same time I began to fuck his ass I got a hold of
his now soft cock and began to play with it even though it was soft. I
fucked his ass slowly until I could no longer hold back so I proceeded
to move rapidly in and out and his ass bucked to meet my every thrust
as I worked to a big orgasm with cum shooting into his tight hot ass. 
After that we just lay on the bed next to each other feeling each other
and monitoring each others recovery. It wasn't long and he was ready but
I was still not back to stiffness which didn't seem to bother him as I
stroked his hardening cock amazed at the speed of his recovery and
wishing I was young again. I was about to have another first experience 
and completely unaware of just how it came about but as I lay on the bed
stroking his semi-hard cock he began to suck and bite my tits and it
felt so good that I wanted it to never stop. He sucked, bit and played
with my nipples and at the same time rubbed my flaccid dick and it all
felt food. I was fairly sure that I couldn't get hard again after having
had two rather large orgasms all ready this night but it still felt
good. He asked me to roll over and begin to tongue my neck and worked
his way down to the crack of my ass and as his tongue found my hole it
was marvelous. I had never been fucked before and I knew that is what he
wanted so I told him I was a virgin and that I was not sure if I could
take a dick in the ass. He continued to lick and tongue fuck my hole and
it felt so good that I wanted something but again not sure about his
cock. He put his finger in and massaged my prostrate and it was good and
I felt his dick against my leg and it felt good so I told him he could
try but only if he would stop if I did not like it at all. He agreed and
asked me to get up on all fours so he could go easy into my hole. I did
and as I felt the head of his dick approach me I was afraid so I tensed
up my sphincter but his dick head just rubbed against my hole putting
pre cum all around and lubricating it nicely. Soon I began to relax a
bit and he began to gently push his dick against my tight hole and I
felt it begin to make its way slowly into my tube. At first it hurt very
much but as I continued to relax and with his taking it very easy he
soon found the head of his dick in my as and he put a bit more pressure
and it began to slide in with me experiencing pain that I did not think
I was going to be able to take. I am sure that only the fact that he
had done this before managed to save the evening because he knew how to
move so that the pain was lessened and in time the pain became less and
the sensation of being fucked took over and it was good. He fucked me
slowly and then as he neared his climax he began to stroke a bit faster
but always being aware   that he had a virgin and acted accordingly.
When he came I felt his hot cum in my ass and it felt good and we lay on
the bed with his dick in my ass throbbing from the orgasm and beginning
to shrink. As I lay there I thought to myself what a feeling to feel the
cock shrink in my hole and I wondered if a woman had a similar sensation
after a man cum in her hole. At any rate, I thought it rather pleasant
and decided that it was not bad but rather nice overall. 

We slept after that and in the morning I was awakened by his hot mouth
around my stiff cock and before I knew it I  was filling him with spurts
of cum which he seemed to thoroughly enjoyed.  He told me he did not
have time for any more but if I was ever in town again to stop by the
clinic and he would take good care of my tired body with care. I soon
left and was again on the highway heading for Atlanta but I knew that
that previous night would be one that I would long remember especially
since sitting in the care with my sore ass was not the most exciting
thing I have ever done but it came close, that is for sure.

Comments to: djanus@hotmail.com