A Confusing Life
Episode Five
Cameron McGinn 
DISCLAIMER: If you are offended by signs of love between two people of the same gender, or you are under the legal age to view a page with content of this type, or it is illegal to acknowledge this sort of thing, I seriously suggest that you leave this page immediately or else you may not like what you read. You have been warned. I will not take any responsibility for anything that happens as a result of reading this story.

ALL names used in this story are from people who are in my life. The actual characters on the other hand are fictitious. The only one based on reality is the character based on myself. If any of my friends happen to stumble upon this, I apologize for what you may discover here.

His fist connected with my face with such force, that I crumpled to the ground.

Next thing I knew, he was on top of me. He felt heavy. I struggled, but I couldn't get him off me. I was still too weak from the beating Ben had given me. I felt him pulling down my pants, and I heard a tearing sound as he ripped my underwear off of me. I didn't have enough to to get ready for what I knew was coming. I felt the tip of his hard-on at my ass, and then excruciating pain as I felt him push his cock into me. I screamed in terror, and in pain. He clamped his hand over my mouth.

I felt his cock moving in and out of me again and again, each time feeling more and more aggresive and painful. His weight on top of me felt like I was being crushed. I could hear his breathing. It was short gasps, followed by a sharp intake of breath before he would push himself into me. His hands were still clamped on my mouth as if to stop me from speking, but by this time, I was too emotionally destroyed to care about anything. I just wanted him to finish quickly and kill me so that I was out of my misery. His thrusts started becoming even harder and deeper, and more exaggerated. He finally spoke to me for the first time.

"You like a cock in your ass, don't you, faggot? You like to be a pussy for a real man. I can feel you clutching at my cock like a baby does to its mothers tit when being fed. You need this as much as that baby needs its mother's milk." He then licked my ear.

I felt him shift his weight. His hand wasn't on my mouth anymore. Both his hands were on my shoulders, and he was now in a sort of push up position on me, still driving his cock into my ass with an enrgy that only a man who is excited beyond belief can have. He started groaning, and I knew that in a few seconds, I was going to be this guy's 'pussy'. He stopped breathing as I felt a strange warmth spreading inside me. It seemed to fill me, and it didn't seem like it was going to end. He was coming inside me, and he was enjoying himself.

A couple of minutes after he stopped, I felt him pull out of me. I just lay there as I heard him get dressed. I didn't have the energy to trun around to look at him. I didn't see the point, since I thought he was about to kill me.  Instead, he just said to me:

"If you ever need a man to fuck your lights out, give me a call." and then he was gone.

Then it hit me. I had just been raped. During the event, my mind was numb. I couldn't out a single coherent thought togther in my head. All I could think about was the pain as I was being fucked. No, not fucked, as I now rationalised. RAPED. My privavcy had been abused. I had been abused. I had been violated, and I could never get that back. I felt dirty. I felt like I was in some way responsible for this attack.

I slowly dragged myself up off the ground and pulled up my pants. I walked back to Mrs Barrett's. When I got there, I found a note from her pinned on the door.


Zeb and I have gone shopping. Will be back in an hour or so.
Back door is unlocked. Help yourself to dinner if we aren't home in time.


I made my way inside and headed straight for the shower. I got in and stayed there for at least half an hour. I must have washed every part of my body about fifty times. The heat of the water was starting to sting my body, so I got out, dried off and then stood naked in front of the full length mirror that was on the door leading to Mrs. Barrett's room. I stared at myself trying to figure out what about me could draw someone I didn't even know to decide to attack and rape me. No matter what I looked at, I coun't find anything.

Then I realized why that was. I'm an ugly person. I have nothing about me that would or could be considered attractive. I was repulsive. No wonder no-one liked me. Depressed, I moped my way into the room that Mrs Barrett and Zeb had spent time converting for me while I was in hospital and crawled, still naked, under the covers. I didn't realize until then how tired I was, and in a few seconds, I was sleeping.

Terror flowed through me, but I wasn't sure why. I recognised where I was, but I couldn't place why this place scared me so much. I walked through the bush, trying to figure out what it was that spooked me. I could tell something was about to happen. I sensed a person behind me. The terror got worse, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. The person behind me made no attempt to make contact with me. I turned to see who it was. It was Zeb. He looked at me as if I were simply a bug.

Next thing I knew, I was on the ground, and there was someone on top of me, just lying there. I looked at him, but I could not see his face. I heard him saying "You like being a pussy for a real man, don't you?" I struggled with him, but he was too strong for me. I called out to Zeb, but no sound came out. he looked at me as if he hadn't heard what I was trying to say.

'You want me to help you?" he sniggered. I nodded to him, trying to say more, but I couldn't make myself speak.

"Why should I? You can't even help yourself. You're being raped and you do nothing about it. You enjoyed it, didn't you?" I was crying now, but Zeb was smiling. "You're nothing more than a pussy on legs, Cameron. Only difference is, you can't be knocked up. maybe we should spread the word that guys can dump their loads in you without having to worry about getting the bitch pregnant. I'll bet they'll come in droves." As he was saying this, he had bent down to me, and had turned me on to my stomach. I then felt my pants being cut by a knife of some sort. Then I felt a hand, spreading my ass cheeks, and then I managed to look down to where Zeb had the rapists cock in his hand, he drew it towards my ass, and the rapist shoved it into me sharply. I couldn't move. I was paralysed. Zeb stood, and proceeded to walk away.

I found my voice. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllpppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!" I screeched, as I felt the cock in my ass start its thrusting movements inside me.

Zeb turned to me with a smile on his face. He winked.........

I sat bolt upright in my bed, and I saw Zeb standing in the door. He had a shocked look on his face. Seeing him there sent my fear soaring. I couldn't bear to look at him, because I was so scared of him right at that moment.

"I heard a scream. Are you alright, Cam?"

I lay back down in bed, and pulled the covers up over my head.

"Go away, Zeb. Please, just leave me alone." I managed to muffle to him.

"But......." he started.


Without another word, I heard him leave, and close the door behind him. I pulled the covers back down, and I was frightened by the darkness. I stumbled out of bed, and I made my way to the door. I peered out, and seeing the hallway clear, I went back to bed, feeling safety in the small amount of light coming from the end of the hallway. I was still very tired, and despite my fear, I was asleep again within minutes.

Next day, I didn't wake until nearly midday. I wanted to stay in this room all day, without anyone coming to see me. Without having to face the world. Just for today, then I would go back to facing the grind. I would have to. School was starting for a new term tomorrow and I couldn't afford to take any time off..

I heard a knock on the door, which had somehow gotten closed again during the night. Presumably, by Dianne. I really didn't want to be disturbed, but I knew I couldn't stay here, as much as I wanted to. I dragged myself out of the bed, and shuffled to the door. I could still feel that man's dick inside me, and it felt horrible.

I opened the door, and found Zeb looking at me. I noticed he was avoiding eye contact with me. I felt like an asshole during the night. He had come to check on me, to comfort me from my nightmare, and I had shunned his help. I was too scared to let him help me, and now he thought I hated him.

"I, uh...... I just wanted to say..." He started.

"Zeb, I'm sorry for what I did last night. I shouldn't have told you to go away. I was scared of you for some reason when you came in." I stopped, not sure if I should tell him about the nightmare I had. He was just staring at me, looking confused, and I knew that my fear was irrational. He would always be there for me, no matter what, and he would never make fun of me. I hugged him.

The rest of the day was faily uneventful. I moped about the house, complaining of having nothing to do, but when  something was offered, it didn't interest me at all. I would occasionally sneak into the bathroom and bawl my eyes out for a few minutes, and then wipe my eyes and go find something else too complain about before anyone got suspicious. By dinner time, I had cried about a litre of tears. I had nothing left, but I was still miserable. I couldn't even eat anything. This didn't go unnoticed, though neither Zeb nor Dianne said anything about it. They probably just thought I was depressed about Ben and my father.

After dinner was finished, I offered to help clean up, but Dianne refused to allow me to. She said that I should just go find something to amuse myself for the evening. I didn't want to do anything in all honesty, but I hated feeling useless. I went up to my room, and decided to play some Playstation games. I checked the CD in it, and seeing it was my favorite game, Mortal Kombat 4, I turned it on. I waited for it to load, then did the cheat that allowed me to become the games sub-boss, Goro. For some reason I used no other moves on my opponent than his throw. What he does is he picks up his opponent with his bottom two arms, and beats the crap out of them with his top two. It takes off about half the energy of the fighter he's doing it to. Perhaps there was some psychological reason, I wasn't sure. I soon got bored with that, so I stuck my favorite The Living End CD in my Cd player, and stuck it on constant replay. I sang along when it got to my favorite song, English Army. I lay on my bed, and didn't even notice myself getting sleepy. Before the CD even played through once, I was asleep.

Next morning, I awoke not even knowing where I was. My CD player had been turned off, and a blanket had been pulled up over me. I heard sounds coming from the bathroom, and then the door opened, and Zeb came out with just a towel wrapped around his waist. I had an instant boner. But that may have also been helped by the need to piss. I took my turn in the bathroom, first using the toilet, then turning on the shower. I didn't have time to wash every part of me this morning, and when I got out, I felt dirty still, but I couldn't do anything about it. I had to go have breakfast, then get changed, and go to school. I didn't feel like walking this morning, which was good, considering  that Dianne was a teacher there. I quickly downed the fruit loops Dianne had given me for breakfast, then went up to my room and changed into my school uniform. I hated it. It was a sky blue polo shirt, grey shorts, maroon socks, and black shoes. At least we didn't have to wear ties, like the private school kids did. Dianne called from downstairs for Zeb and I to hurry up.

Zeb offered to let me sit in the front, since I was getting out last. I accepted, and we were on our way to school. We dropped him off at his school, and he gave Dianne a kis on the cheek, and me a hug. I so loved him at that point. Then we were on our way to our school. We shifted into student/teacher mode.

"Mrs Barrett, is it alright if at recess and lunch I come and have a chat with you? I don't want to be outside where Ben can get to me." She turned to me with a shocked look on her face. It suddenly dawned on me that she didn't know it was Ben who had beat me up.

"Ben did that to you? I'll talk to him later."

I was scared. "No, please don't. I don't need any more hassle."

"Cameron, I have to. It's my duty of care. If I don't speak to him, I'll be neglegent of my duty, and I will be liable for a lot of trouble."

I had no response. I just sat there and decided not to bother arguing. Ifigured at worse, I'd get beaten up again and a teacher might drag him off me before I die.

I managed to avoid Ben all the first three periods of the morning. We wern't in any classes together, except for Maths, so I didn't have anything to worry about until recess anyway. When the bell went for recess, I walked solemnly out into the playground. I walked with my head down until I was a few metres away from whereI normally sat. I froze when I saw Ben. He looked at me, rose and walked toward me. I was too scared to move. He stopped when he was a foot from my face.

"Have a good weekend, faggot?" he asked me smugly. "I heard you had a enjoyable time."

He continued grinning as the weight finally dropped.

All I could do was stare at him. HE was the one that got that guy to rape me.

More to come? I think we know the answer to that one already...
Why did Ben be so obvious about being the one? Will cameron do anything about it? You'll find out in Episode Six..... Coming soon (hopefully).

As I said before, Names are real, characters and events are not. I have never been raped, and I pray to whatever force controls us that I never do. I don't know if the reactions cameron had in this episode are reactions people who have been raped. To those who have been, my condolences (however useless).

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