Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2005 12:43:17 -0700 From: Jim Cook Subject: my life story in as" FEW WORDS" as possible / Chapter# 5 Brandenburger Tor-- part 1 MY LIFE STORY, IN AS FEW WORDS AS POSSIBLE BY JIM COOK THIS STORY IS COPYRIGHTED, AND IS NOT TO BE COPIED, REPRINTED OR OTHERWISE DISPERSED WITHOUT EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY IS TRUE, AND ONLY A FEW OF THE LAST NAMES ARE MADE UP.(AS I HAVE FORGOTTEN THEM) IF YOU ARE UNDER AGE (18) PLEASE LEAVE NOW CHAPTER 5 BRANDENBUGER TOR (BRANDENBUGER GATE) *BERLIN* Part 1 Sitting in the bar car, with beer in hand, the countryside flew bye. Noticing that my favorite bartender was not working this trip, my eyes wandered checking out who else was on board. There were a couple of guys that looked interesting, but; most were older guys. Unlike the other bartender this guy, much older and seemingly straight, kept ogling the couple of women across from him. Not yet ready to eat my lunch, packed with love by Jorge, I wandered through the cars, seeing if I could catch anyone's eye. Passing through the dinning car; my eye caught sight of a good looking blond waiter. Looks like Jorge's "Lunch" will be dinner, instead. I appeared to be one of the last lunch diners, so I took my time eating. By the last of my Wienerschnitzel and wine, the waiter had time to chat a little. Heinz, having found out his name, gave me the name of a couple of clubs in Berlin. He also had a recommendation for a not too pricey gay hotel, only a block and a half from one of the clubs. I hoped he might be available for a personal tour; unfortunately he wasn't off for two more days. We'd talked for the best part of an hour, when Heinz excused himself needing to get the tables set for dinner. The slip of paper Heinz had written the hotel and club information on, I noticed, also had his phone number on the back. Never having asked, we just assumed that each other was gay. Although by looking at Heinz you would never have suspected. Back in my seat, I decided to take a well needed rest. I must have napped for awhile; for two hours had passed when I awoke. Being an express train, we will make very few stops between Amsterdam and Berlin. We are a few hours out of Berlin, so I opened my "Lunch", now dinner, and the wine. The cheese and bread tasted sooo..... Good. The wine, (LIEB-FRAU-MILCH) a great white wine, brought out the best of the flavor from the cheeses. My lunch box held enough to feed a small army. When I first opened up my box of goodies, I felt a bit self conscious bringing food on board. Back in the states it's really not done very much. However, after seeing some of my fellow passengers, open up different containers of food, I guessed it was common practice here in Europe. The sandwiches, fruit, and what looked like cookies, would have to wait. From my window, the sky glowed orange and purple. The sunset, with the deep green of the fields, seemed as picture perfect as any travel log I'd ever seen. Lost in the moment, I barely noticed as the lights flickered on above me. So too, the windows of the farm houses we passed came to life. Suddenly the train began to slow, seeing the conductor coming through the car, I wondered what was happening. He glanced from side to side as he hurried through. Sensing the confusion on my face, he stopped long enough to say "Rand.... Rand Kreuzend"; speaking in English, recognizing me as a foreigner, Border, Border crossing. Border, what border, we were already in Germany. Then remembering East and West Germany were split, I realized I was about to enter the communist D D R, (Deutche Democratic Republic). Don't forget this is nineteen sixty four. The wall and check-point Charlie, were up and going strong. As the train came to a stop, I caught sight of uniformed guards toting guns, machine guns, walking a long the outside of the train. We were not in a real station, but; I could see barbed wire fencing over ten feet tall on both sides of the train. They checked all the car doors on each side. It looked as if they were affixing some sort of a seal to each of the doors. Or, maybe just making sure the doors were locked. It was hard to tell. Grabbing my camera, and aiming out the clear glass, I clicked off a couple of pictures. An older woman across from me looked up, and gently shook her head as if to say "don't", so I put the camera away. With a slight jolt, we began moving forward very slowly. Passing through yet another set of high barbed wire gates; the train began picking up speed. As we moved off into the evening twilight, leaving the armed guards behind, I tried to catch my breath. With my heart racing just a bit, I sat back in my over stuffed seat, pondering what I had just witnessed. East German soldiers carrying loaded weapons, glaring in the windows, as we moved passed. All the D D R flags and banners lit by flood lights, I was impressed, nervous, but; impressed. Deciding to go up to the dinning car and talk with Heinz, wondering if he could shed some light on what I just experienced. I left resolved to get some answers if I could. Damn, Heinz was no where to be found. The dinning car, except for a lone couple drinking wine at a table near the front of the car, was deserted. Turning to leave, "Moment....Bitte" (moment, please) came from behind me. There stood Heinz, apron and hat gone, looking himself good enough to eat. "I...mmm... I wondered if you were free to talk for a few minutes. All those soldiers, the guns, doesn't it scare you a little?" With a slight chuckle, "You get used to it, the more trips you make through the "Zone", Heinz stated with a broad grin. We sat alone at a table at the opposite end of the car, from the other couple. Heinz told me that he had family living in the East Zone, and is allowed to visit them once a year. He and his father live and work in the west, in order to send money to his sister and mother; wages are five times that of the east. "And......gay clubs are Verboten", (forbidden) Heinz leaned in close, to whisper. "Unlike here in the west where clubs are legal". "There are some, just a couple, in East Berlin, but are kept Very, Very....secret", Heinz continued whispering. "My father and I live together in a two bedroom flat in Berlin, is pretty expensive for us", Heinz scowled. "But, everything in Berlin is expensive; to live there costs us much money" rubbing his thumb and fingers together, to emphasize his point. "Does your dad work for the railroad as well?" I was curious to know. "Ja....yes, he's a director for the Deutsches Bundtes Bahnn, in the Berlin office, Heinz replied with obvious pride. "Oh Jim, Be ready....all this with the East German guards, will happen again as we cross into West Berlin", Heinz stated with mock sternness. "Well at least this time I'll know what to expect", I chuckled. "Would you like me to go and get us a couple of beers, looks like maybe you could use one?" getting up and patting my shoulder, he asked. Gazing out the window I didn't notice Heinz's return, until I caught his reflection in the glass. Setting down two bottles of Amstel beer, he handed me a D B B monogrammed beer glass. "Ah, First class", I kidded him. "Always" he smiled, taking his seat. The couple at the far end of the car, having finished, made their way passed us into the next car. My cute waiter jumped up, excusing himself, to clean up the table the couple just left. Watching Heinz scurrying to set the table up I had to admit, he is a hunky guy and quite good looking. Too bad he still had two more days to work, damn! After finishing up, he disappeared through the kitchen door. Moments later, touting a tray with open face sandwiches (all European sandwiches are open face), and another couple of bottles of Amstel. Heinz swaggered back to table, balancing the tray palm up and shoulder high, showing off his skills as a waiter. "Beer and sandwiches, for two", Heinz announced, pleased with himself. "Well...., I didn't really make these..., they were left over after closing the kitchen", he sheepishly added. The more I looked over this German with his short cropped blond hair and green eyes, now without his apron and cap, his well built body was obvious. His tightly packed bulge, made it obvious he's well hung. I was going to make it a point to try and get to know this hunky guy better, a lot...better. After all two days isn't all that long. Even the way Heinz nibbled his sandwich and sipped the beer, had a sexiness about it. "Heinz, how long will you have off, be free, after you finish this trip schedule?" I asked. "Warum, Why.......liebling (why, my lovely)." his teasing question with an impish grin, made me smile. "Well I, I was hoping maybe..... We could get together" I asked feeling strange, as if asking for a first date. "I wondered, if you liked me", he answered squeezing my knee. "Very much, would I like "Seeing" you", Heinz chuckled, waggling his eye brows. "I will have four days free, then I work two days and have a whole week free, that's all of my trips for this month" Heinz stated, before asking, "How long are you staying in Berlin Jim?" "Well that might depend, on just how much....I enjoy Berlin", I replied with a wink. "Then I'll just make sure you have a REALLY...good time", Heinz added, his arm around my neck. "Heinz...." A voice called from the kitchen. Getting up, Heinz motioned for me to stay, as he walked toward the galley. With a sip of beer, I finished my sandwich. A couple of swallows and my beer too was empty. Returning the dead soldier to the table, I glimpsed Heinz returning, looking none too happy. "Verdammt (damn it), Damn it...I must go and close out the inventory, we are only a couple of hours from Berlin", Heinz said somberly. "Jim when we arrive in Berlin, wait on the platform for me, I'll guide you to the hotel I mentioned, it's near by". He whispered. While clearing the table, Heinz told me he has three hours, during which the train is cleaned and restocked for the return to Amsterdam. He must be back on board one hour before departure. With a hint of irony in his voice he said, if he were the head of the dining car he would have to stay on board the whole time, but; being a lowly waiter he had two hours free. By the time I had returned to my seat, leaving Heinz to complete his inventory, I felt exhausted and excited at the same time. Taking a deep breath, I leaned back and closed my eyes. The slight jolt as we came to a stop brought me back to reality, putting an end to my colorful dream of Heinz. Watching the beams of the many flashlights outside the windows, the now familiar D D R banners and flags told me where we were. The feeling of being watched made me turn to the window, only to come face to face with a machine gun wielding East German soldier. Swallowing the lump in my throat, shock apparent on my face, he smiled, as he strolled off back into the darkness. Only with the movement of the train was I able to reclaim my composure. On this occasion passing through the high barbed gates, seemed reassuring. With the realization it wasn't going to be necessary to change my underwear, I chuckled inwardly as I poured the last of the wine into my glass. Thank you Jorge, I thought taking a sip. Crossing into West Berlin, continuing at a moderately slow rate of speed, we switched from track to track winding our way into the terminal. After arriving, I gathered together my belongings. Deciding on keeping the rest of my "Lunch" to snack on later in the hotel, I made my way out and onto the platform. The high domed, and brightly lit, terminal gave a "grand open air" impression. Glimpsing Heinz, waving from the open doorway of the kitchen car, I raised my hand in acknowledgement. Sooner than I had expected the concourse was deserted, except for wagons loaded with supplies lined up by the kitchen car's door. Attempting to light a cigarette, I dropped my lighter when a hand on my shoulder caught me off guard. Laughing Heinz stooped, retrieving my lighter, "Come, my nervous friend". Flipping the unlit cigarette at Heinz, I too chuckled. Helping me with my luggage, Heinz led the way through station. "Would you like a taxi, or we can walk, the hotel is just two blocks from here?" Heinz questioned me. "Two blocks....hummm....lets walk, I responded. Hefting my suitcase, I followed Heinz up the street. Rounding the last corner, we ended in front of a nice, but; modest looking hotel. Once inside it became obvious, this indeed was a "Gay" hotel, the clerk seemed a real Queen, friendly, helpful, even amusing, but; a Queen. Heinz spoke to the clerk, in German, inquiring about a room for at least three days. Understanding some, but; not all of the conversation, I managed to glean... "My American friend, ????.......room...???? Three days....????...HANDS OFF...?" on hearing the "Hands Off" I grinned and chuckled out loud. On hearing me laugh, they both turned, realizing I understood, and laughed as well. "I take good care of him", the clerk added, in fairly good English. Key in hand we stepped into the small elevator. Before the doors closed, "Fruhstuck (breakfast)...morgen (morning), six bis (until) nine....." the clerk's voice trailed after us. During the trip to the second floor, quick as it was, Heinz reminded me, "In the morning, breakfast is between six and nine, it's included with the room". Stepping from the lift, my room # 16 was directly in front of us. "If we hurry I'll have time to show you where the club is, the one I told you about. Then I must return to my work". Heinz added, as I opened the door. The room was nicely furnished, and clean. We sat and talked for awhile. Still having a little left in the bottle of Scotch, we had a quick drink, before it was time to leave. Back downstairs, we made our way past the desk, toward the door. "Aufwiedersehen (until we see each other again,** incorrectly spoken by most foreigners, as meaning "Good-bye")" the clerk added with a wave. Heinz was correct about the clubs proximity to the hotel. Turned out it was only up the street and around the corner. Music could be heard even before we reached the door. Standing by the door, three guys came up the street and after saying, "Guten Abend" (good evening), ducked inside. "Well, I'll leave you here,...if...you like" Heinz's voice sadly trailed off. Looking at my watch I noted it was a quarter to ten, leaving Heinz only fifteen minutes before he needed to be back. "Let me walk back with you, Maybe... we can grab a quick cup of coffee before you need to be on board?", I volunteered, putting my arm around his waist. "Oh Yes,...yes please", Heinz replied, almost giddy. After giving me a peck on the cheek, with his arm around my waist, we turned toward the station. The open displays of affection here in Europe, while still bothering me some what, I found refreshing. The fact even straight men would be arm in arm, not to mention the women holding hands. Shows that over here, people were comfortable with their own sexuality. And being "Gay" is not looked down upon, as it is in the US. Carrying our coffees, we made our way back over to track # 22. The kitchen car's door now closed, the once loaded trolley wagons were gone. It did appear some of the cleaning crew were still on board though. Having offered Heinz a cigarette, we smoked in silence. Neither of us wanting to break the spell, sipped our coffee quietly, knowing our time together was drawing to a close. "Will you be here, when I return?" Heinz asked. The pleading in his eyes, would only allow me to answer, "Yes Heinz, I'll be waiting,....And you can be planning what we'll be doing with your four days off." "I already have..." Heinz said with a devilish grin. On this happier note, Heinz gave me yet another peck on the cheek, before heading for the open door. Turning in the doorway, Heinz waved, saying "Aufwiedersehaen, Jim". Having just met Heinz a short while ago, I was a little confused as to why I felt so sad at this departure. I remained on the platform long enough to smoke another cigarette, before making my way back to the hotel. Just outside the hotel door, still unable to shake off the gloominess I felt. I changed direction, walking up the street toward the club instead. A couple of drinks later, along with the up beat music. My dark mood began to dissipate. In spite of this being only Wednesday night, the club seemed rather crowded. At the bar, to my left, I over heard English being spoken. Glancing up I caught sight of two guys in the mirror, about four stools down, they looked to be in their mid twenties. Picking up my drink, and some courage, I wandered over to the guys. "Hello guys...couldn't help but notice you speak English. Private conversation, or may I join you"? Turning both guys smiled, "Hi mate, no problem, pull up a stool." The redhead spoke up. Scooting apart a little they made room. "My name's Jim, and thank you. "Kind of difficult...ain't it, when you don't speak German", chimed in the dark haired guy. "I've been here just over three weeks, and I am picking it up little by little. I did take a course in school too, which helps", I offered. Holding up my glass to get the bartenders attention, I asked if I could buy them a drink. "You bet mate, thanks", the redhead grinned. When the bartender came over, the dark haired guy ordered two scotch and waters; I piped up, ordering another bourbon and seven-up. "You guys from England, you seem to have an English accent" I inquired. "Ah... nah mate, we're from down-under, Australia, Sydney to be exact", proudly stated the redhead. "The name's Mathew but they call me Mattie, and this here is Stan", the redhead added, tipping his glass toward the dark haired guy next to him. "You guys here on vacation?" I asked Stan. "Yeah, the end of it really, we fly out tomorrow." Mattie answered instead. "How about you, here on vacation?" Stan managed to ask. "Yes, planning on at least three months, I hope" answering with some optimism. "You guys together or just friends?" I inquired. "We're together, ....six years, this month,... that's the reason for the trip" Mattie said, giving Stan a squeeze. The arrival of our drinks landed us a bowl of popcorn and fresh napkins for the glasses. During the course of the evening I learned their trip had included stays in London, Paris, Amsterdam, Rome and Berlin. Now after five and a half weeks, their second "Honeymoon" was coming to an end. This last stop over of the trip was to visit the "Wall". To afraid one or both might be detained, because; they were gay, they decided crossing into East Berlin was too risky. Checking the time, my loneliness returned, Realizing Heinz's train would be pulling out in fifteen minutes. Suddenly I knew what I had to try and do, I must try and get back to the terminal and see him, or at least his train's departure. "Are you guys going to be here for awhile, at least twenty minutes", I hurriedly questioned Stan and Mattie? "Definitely mate, we just arrived minutes before meeting you...why?" Mattie questioned. "Something I need to do, and I'll be gone about fifteen or twenty minutes, that ok?" "Sure...mate, Stan said puzzled. "Ok thanks, I'll be right back", that being said, I was off my barstool and making my way to the door. Once outside, I broke into a dead run. There's time, there has to be time, I kept repeating to my self as I ran. Track # 22, the shiny sleek T E E is there. Thank you, thank you, I repeated to myself as I made my way toward the dining car. Only a couple stragglers were still boarding further down the track. Reaching the dining car, I walked along side looking in the large windows. Heinz, Heinz......no Heinz, the car is empty. He must be in the kitchen, oh...damn, he'll never know I was here. Then, coming into the car, carrying a tray filled with silver vases, flowers in each, was... Heinz. With a sigh of relief, I moved to the closest window. Placing a vase of flowers on each table, Heinz worked with his back to me. Turning to place a vase on the table directly in front of me, he froze, slowly....the biggest grin I'd ever seen, appeared on Heinz's face. As if to deliberately cut our reunion short, the T E E began to move. Putting his palm to the window, I matched his with mine. As my hand slid from the moving window, I was almost certain I could see a single tear on his cheek. Hoping he was able to see, I continued waving. Moving away from the vacant concourse, I lit a cigarette. Stopping on occasion to window gaze, I felt less melancholy than I had as I rejoined Stan and Mattie. "Sorry guys if I was gone too long", I apologized. "I had to see a friend off, he works for the railroad in the dining car", I added, taking a swallow from my glass. "A friend, just a friend?" Stan asked with a sly smile. "Well.....I just met him, only a few hours ago, but; I really do like him". "Good for you mate", Mattie said, with a pat on my shoulder. I bought another round of drinks, talked with Mattie and Stan for maybe an hour, before bidding them a safe trip home and calling it a night. On the walk back to the hotel I thought of Heinz, wondering what he might be doing. Thinking maybe the next couple of days were not going to be all that easy after all. Up in my room I hung up my clothes, jumped into bed, and fell asleep as my head hit the pillow. Having forgotten to close the drapes before going to bed, the morning sun came streaming in to dance in my eyes. "BING, DING, DONG"-"BING, DING, DONG", the tones approached, then faded down the hallway. My watch read seven am, must be the breakfast chimes, huh....just like on a train, I chuckled, thinking of Heinz. Waiting for my hair to dry, after shaving and showering, I unpacked some of the clothes that needed to be hung in the closet. Dressed, I left my room looking for breakfast. As the elevator door opened, I noticed there was a different guy behind the desk. Approaching the clerk, he looked up and smiling said, "Gutten morgen Herr Cook (good morning mr. cook)". I wondered how he knew who I was, but; only asked about breakfast. After learning it was up on the first floor, I thanked the clerk, heading back to the lift. Having never been on the first floor, it took a little looking before I found the breakfast room. Entering the room, I noticed how cheerful the decor seemed. Soft green table cloths matched the curtains. Flowers of various colors, in crystal vases, were on each table. Of the seven or so tables, two were occupied. Selecting a table in the corner enabled me to view my fellow patrons unobserved. No sooner was I seated, than in the door came the clerk from last night. Going over to the other tables, he stopped briefly by each; he then made his way to mine. "Ah, Herr Cook, gutten morgen(good morning)" he said, almost fluttering about as he spoke. Yes, my impression of last night was right 'Queen' or at least a princess. Quickly, before he had a chance to read my thoughts, I ask about breakfast. "Ah yes, Herr Cook, we have sausage, eggs, toast and coffee, or if you like better, orange juice" he proudly stated. "Yes, that looks and smells great" I said, gesturing toward one of the occupied tables, "And coffee please, Bitte(please)" I added for his benefit. Moments later he placed a cup coffee down in front of me. The coffee not only smelled good but; tasted great. Manfried (man-freed) or Manny as he asked to be called, returned shortly with my sausage and eggs. Finishing off with another cup of coffee and a cigarette, I felt very satisfied. "Hat es gut geschmeckt...Did it taste good?" Manny asked. "Yes, it was very good, thank you". "Danke"...es hat gut geschmeckt" showing Manny I could speak, at least a little German. Manny seemed flattered that I spoke German to him, giving me a grin and a pat on the shoulder before leaving. Letting my breakfast settle, I lingered over my coffee while smoking another cigarette. Lost in thought, trying to formulate an itinerary for the day, I suddenly became aware of the fact I was the only one left in the room. Picking up my cigarettes and lighter I decided to go for a stroll. Outside the morning air was warm, with a gentle breeze. Even though it's was still early, the stores appeared to be doing a brisk business. People moved about everywhere. Having taken a bearing on my location I ventured out and down the street. Passing the club, which looked so different in the daylight, I continued my constitutional. Having the time, I wandered over a large part of the city, making note of the main streets. By sheer luck, I ended up in front of the American Express building. This being a good chance to check and see if I had any mail, and to cash in some of my traveler's checks, I went inside. Banking took place on the main floor, but; the mail room was up a flight stairs. Disappointed I had no mail, I returned downstairs. The average American thinks of American Express only terms of "Travelers checks", and in the states that's mostly true. In Europe though, American Express is a large banking concern, with branches in most cities. And as a convenience to travelers most branches have a "Mail" room, where tourists can have their mail sent to them as they travel abroad. Standing in line for a teller, I decided to cash in two hundred dollars. The exchange rate being 3.99.9 DM (Deutsche Mark) for one dollar. A lot of places, shops, stores and restaurants give a four to one exchange rate, keeping it simple to figure out. Leaving with just a couple pennies short of eight hundred marks, I thought this should be enough to last me awhile. As it was now after one, I began thinking about lunch. Smelling something good coming from up the street, I followed my nose. MMmmm..... I found myself in front of a small food shop. Very narrow, with a service window on the street, and a very limited four table sit down area inside. Going inside, the smells made my mouth water. I ordered a "Bratwurst" (grilled sausage) and "Pommes frites" (French fries) and a glass of good German beer. I took my time enjoying every bite; even ordering a second Bratwurst. Personally, I think I could live off Bratwurst and German beer. My whole lunch costing fewer than three dollars, had left me feeling really satisfied..... Very full, but; satisfied. With a small burp, under my breath, I left and resumed my tour of the city on foot. Kufurstendam strasse (referred to by locals as Ku-dam, I later found out) with its Kaiser-Wilhelm-Kirche (Wilhelm Memorial Church), a bombed out church and a new very modern one, were filled with tourists. I took a few pictures, before going to look for a place to acquire a map. I stopped in a small shop and bought myself a city map. Lucky for me, the map also had an over lay of the Berlin Ubahn (subway system). It took a bit of doing, but; I managed to get back to my hotel, none the worst for wear. Not realizing just how bushed I was, until; back in my room I lay down and closed my eyes. Waking up in a darkened room I looked at my watch, eight thirty, damn, I must have really fallen asleep. Heading for the bathroom to shave and shower again, I decided to soak in a hot tub first. Feeling refreshed, I finished dressing, ready for a night on the town. Downstairs in the lobby Manny introduced me to the other desk clerk, his other half, Helmut. Seems they own the hotel together, sharing in all the ups and downs. They hire the cleaning done, but; Manny does the cooking and makes breakfast for the guests in the mornings. They have been together over fifteen years. Wishfully thinking, I hope that I'm that fortunate. Manny asking where the "Gay Bar" guide was, forced Helmut to do a bit of searching under the desk. Finding the small book he handed it to Manny, who copied down a short list of addresses. Sliding the list across the counter to me, Manny told me, that though the club around the corner was a fun club, there are some that are better. He added, that the last two names on the list were a couple of very good bathhouses. They highly recommended and suggested I try them, if I was into that. Not wanting to get off by myself and get lost, at night, just yet, I thought I would walk back up to the club around the corner. Thanking them both, I slipped the list in my pocket and made my way out the door. Being a Thursday evening, I worried the place would be too packed. Fortunately, being early I found a comfortable spot at the end of the bar. Where I had a pretty good view of the room and of the people coming in the front door. Glancing at the two empty stools, occupied last night by Stan and Mattie, I wondered how they were fairing. After my great lunch this afternoon, and remembering the really good German beer, I ordered myself a beer. And with the first sip, I was happy with my choice. You can't beat the taste of German beer. An alcohol content of eight to thirteen percent, varying with the beer, can make a person tipsy very easily. By my second beer, the club was beginning to fill. The bartender remembering me from last night struck up a conversation with me. And would return between customers, when he could. Having laid the list on the bar, I asked the bartender his opinion of the places on the list, including the two bathhouses. He informed me that are three, not two bathhouses. With a sheepish grin, admitting quietly there are a couple of dance clubs that he likes better. "Shhh, just between us", he chided. Slipping the piece of paper back into my pocket, deciding I'd hang on to it, maybe Heinz and I would check them out. Guys were everywhere, even the dance floor left little room to maneuver. From my vantage point I had an unobstructed view of the many handsome guys as they paraded by. Being partial to the German look, light brown or blond with blue or green eyes. I was like a kid in a candy store. The strangest feeling that I might be cheating on Heinz, came over me almost every time I spotted a cute guy that I thought I would like to get to know. All theses strange feelings, even though Heinz and I have never even kissed. Except for the two pecks on the cheek he gave me. So how in the world could I be cheating? I was becoming very confused about all these different feelings. Being eighteen has its advantages, but; also comes with all the emotional immaturity, that only time and life's lessons will teach you. I had to admit though, I was infatuated. Only a day and a half to wait, I hoped. "You look a little down, have this on me", smiling the bartender set a shot glass down. "What is it?" I asked, taking a sniff. "Jagermeister, will put hair on your chest", he smiled. Pulling my partially unbuttoned shirt a side a bit more, revealing my already hairy chest, we both laughed. Sipping slowly, I really enjoyed what I tasted. The bartender's friendly gesture took my mind off Heinz, and lifted my spirits. I even accepted a few offers to dance. As the evening progressed, I enjoyed the dancing and even a few of the conversations I had with some of guys. Feeling a bit uplifted, I remained at the club until two am. Walking through the lobby, I said good night to Manny, as I headed up to my room. Not forgetting to close my drapes this time, I hung my clothes and slipped into bed. With the room darkened, I slept in later than yesterday. Waking to the now familiar, "Bing, Ding, Dong" I checked the time, damn a quarter to nine, must be the last call for breakfast. I swung into high gear and in less than ten minutes, I was out the door and heading to the first floor's breakfast room. Ah...Ha, Herr Cook, just in the last minute, Manny scolded, shaking his finger at me. But soon all was forgiven, as Manny fluttered about me, just like a mother hen looking after her brood. Breakfast over and on my second cup of coffee, Manny joined me at the table. Offering Manny a cigarette, he asked if I had tried one of the other clubs. "Not yet, I'm waiting for my friend Heinz to return from his trip. "Oh, he's returning soon, the young man with you when you checked in ...yes?" Manny asked puzzled. "Yes, he works on the T E E, he'll be back tomorrow night. Then he's off for four days". "I see, he is very handsome, lucky you" Manny sighed. "He lives here in Berlin; I'm waiting for him to get back, sometimes it's been a bit hard". "Gut, good, as it should be, you and the young man" Manny said, getting up and picking up my dishes. As he left for the kitchen, I headed back to my room to bathe, not having had time earlier. Friday, tomorrow's Saturday, and tomorrow evening Heinz will be back. I soaked in the warm water smiling. Daydreaming, I was lost in my own thoughts, snapping out of them only because the water began to cool. Scrambling out of the cold water, I dried myself and jumped back into bed to warm up. Curled up and cozy, before I knew it, I drifted off. It was one thirty when I awakened. With the day half shot, I still could make it to the American Express office though if I hurried. I knew I should have mail by now. Between the Tram and Ubahn I got within a block. Going upstairs, I had not one, but; two letters waiting for me. One from a close friend of mine Bennie, the other from my folks. Opening the one from my folk's first, I was pleasantly surprised to find a check inside. The short note said they thought I could use this, and explained they would be leaving for a medical convention in Palm Springs. And would be gone for ten days, and warned me not to call, as they would not be there. Downstairs I cashed it, putting it into traveler's checks. On the streetcar ride back, I read Bennie's letter. He wished he were in Europe with me, he was however; expecting to come over the last part of July, and could I meet him? As this was only the last week in May, I had plenty of time to decide where we could meet. Arriving back at the hotel, I noticed Helmut behind the desk. "Know a good place for dinner, not too expensive?" I asked, smiling at Helmut. "Hmmm, Let me think about it, maybe Manny knows of a good place. He is the food expert in the family". "Ok, I'll be in my room, thank you Helmut", I waved, as I stepped into the elevator. No sooner in my room, than the phone rang. "Yes, hello" I said, picking up the receiver. "Herr Cook, this is Manny" "Hello Manny" "I have some names of restaurants, that I think are good places, and not expensive" Manny spoke on the other end. "Ok I'll be down in awhile and pick it up, thank you" "I leave it here with Helmut, Ok... Goodbye" he said, as I hung up the receiver. I stretched out on the bed, and reread my letters. Taking my traveler checks and passport I locked them in my smaller briefcase/suitcase. Slipped on my 501's and a light blue-grey shirt, always leaving the top five buttons undone. Combed my hair, made a quick check in the mirror, figured I was passable and headed downstairs. Finding both Helmut and Manny behind the desk, "Hi, guys...." I smiled walking toward the counter. Taking the list from Helmut, Manny held it out to me. "If you are going to the club up around the corner, the top one is just about three doors up passed the club, The HoffBrau Haus" Manny smiled. "Thank you guys", I nodded. "Sounds good to me, and yes, I am going to the club later". "What's good on the menu, anything special?" "I like the Jagerschnitzel, so does Helmut. But sometimes he orders the Bavarian Sauerbraten" Manny offered. "And a tall glass of beer" Helmut added. "Oh Ja, a tall glass of beer" I winked. "Am I dressed alright, for the restaurant?" holding my arms out in a questioning manner. "Oh... Ja, You look good, ...enough to eat" Manny sighed. Helmut gave Manny a quick elbow jab. I smiled and they laughed. Walking out the door I could hear Helmut giving Manny an ear full, as it was in German I wasn't able to catch most of it. The Jagerschnitzel tasted fantastic, so were the red cabbage and sort of warm potato salad. Even with the two glasses of beer, the price of the meal I thought was very reasonable. The restaurant it self was very nicely furnished, like an alpine chalet. The richly carved wooden booths, dimmed lighting and candles on the tables, gave off a warm glow. I'm thinking, I'll bring Heinz here... with its romantic ambiance, bet he'll love it. Time in the club went by slowly, even though the place was pretty full of handsome guys. I danced with a few of those that asked, but; my heart didn't seem to be in it. The conversation with the bartender, even dragged on pointlessly. Although it was still early, I trudged on back to the hotel, and went to bed. Today (Saturday)...Well tonight, really, Heinz returns. What the hell is going on with me? Why does he seem to mean Sooo...much to me? Damn, damn, am I getting hooked on him? And we have never even had sex, Yet anyway. It's only ten am, and I'm already nervous, like he'll be here any minute. How am I going to kill a whole day? I know, I'll go out and tour the city a bit more. Maybe I'll go to that big department store I went by the other day, Ka De We; Manny said it is the biggest department store in Europe. With my trusty city map in hand, I headed out. I spotted the large sign two blocks away, Ka-De-We (ca-dee-vee). Manny must be right, the store is huge. There are so many floors complete with different restaurants, food of all types. The deli section, with cheeses and sliced meats of all kinds, took up the best part of a whole floor. Clothes, shoes, kitchen ware, furniture and electronics, I'm sure if you could think of it, this store would have it. I had been wandering about for almost three hours, before I realized it. I managed though to purchase a pair of German slacks for young men, shoes to match, plus a short sleeve European style shirt. Hopefully I might not look like a tourist, in my new German duds. As I already had the blond hair, well dishwater blond and blue eyes. Returning to the hotel with my newly acquired treasures, I couldn't wait to model them for Helmut and Manny. Stepping from the elevator, only Helmut could see me as Manny was facing the window. Without saying a word, Helmut nudged Manny gently with his elbow, causing him to turn and look up. "Mein Gott" whispered Manny, "Sie schauen wirklich gut an(you really look good), I mean you really looking good" he added. "Now if you don't speak, everyone will think you're German" Helmut chimed in, chuckling. "Really", I grinned. "Very much so", Manny nodded. "Great.... I'll wear this when I meet Heinz tonight, Oh Damn, maybe he won't recognize me" we all laughed. All through dinner I kept checking my watch, still four hours to go, would ten thirty never arrive. Thinking to kill time, I stopped by the 'Club'. Noticing my clock watching, the bartender came over and asked if something was wrong? "No, No, just waiting until my friend's train arrives, he works on the T E E, and he's due back tonight at ten thirty" I replied. "By any chance do you mean Heinz Schieffer, he's the only one I know that works on the T E E, well and that comes in here anyway?" "Yes, he's due in later, I can hardly wait to see him again" I added, showing my impatience. I regaled Luke, the bartender, whose name I found out last night. With my tale of meeting Heinz aboard the T E E, on my way here to Berlin. And how after being together only a couple of hours, he had to leave, to work the rest of the trip. And now, I anxiously awaited his return. At last... ten after ten, time to make my way to the station. Would he be there, is his train on time, all this and more raced through my head as I made my way? Ten twenty-five..... the arrival board still lists the track as # 22. Having time to linger at the board, I noticed the odd times for arrivals as well as departures, such as 10:32pm, in Heinz's case. Why not make it 10:30pm keeping the times even? Even some of the departures, like 10:48 for the train from Paris. Why not 10:45 or 10:50 pm, but; I have noticed that what ever the time, their trains leave and arrive on the dot, with very, very few exceptions. Leave it to the Germans to make it work. As if to confirm my conclusions, the T E E came gliding in at exactly 10:32, almost noiselessly. BRANDENBUGER TOR *Part 2* will be posted soon (BRANDENBUGER GATE) *BERLIN* THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT WRITING, ALL COMMENTS ARE WELCOME. 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