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Chapter 17


frankf4321s <> Thu, Aug 21, 12:07 AM





Good to hear from you.  I was getting worried.  Hope you manage to get to sleep sometime, but you can always sleep in the car.  You show good maturity in the way you responded to my comments.  But you're right, you haven't had much experience at these things and I wasn't there at the party, so who am I to judge.  I just thought I should give my opinion for all it's worth.  


Let me tell you about an experiment that had to do with basketball.   They took two groups and had them stand at the free throw line and shoot free throws.  They scored them based on how many they made out of so many shots.


Then one group went out and physically practiced every day by shooting baskets and the other group practiced in their heads.  What do you think the results were?  They both improved the same amount.  


So with the motto "Always be prepared for the unexpected"  you can picture certain scenarios that you might encounter and practice how you will react to them.  You'll have plenty of time on your trip to picture what will happen and how you'll react when you get back to school.  Everyone will want to know what the hell you ran off for without telling them.  Practice what you're going to say.  Think of all the possibilities that you might be confronted with and picture how you will deal with them.


I haven't forgotten the ass that called you the school's pet fag.  I'm trying to think what you could say to him next time you see him.  Guys like him are just small minded cowards who are trying to cover up something in their own lives by treating you like shit.  Something is probably terribly wrong somewhere in his life.  See if you can figure it out and then use it against him.  I'd be tempted to say, "Why do you care so much?  Is there something you're not telling me or that you don't want anyone to know.  Why else would you be such an asshole."  If he slams you against the locker, hit him in the mouth, keep hitting him and never give him a chance to hit you back.


I love talking this shit when I don't have to do it.  But I can picture it all in my mind.  A crowd will gather around and start cheering you for kicking his ass because probably a lot of other people think he's an asshole too.  You may get suspended, but your reputation as a "I'm not going to take any of your shit" kinda guy will spread around the school and you'll be a hero.  


I have to tell you, I'm always surprised at how many places I've been (I've been to all 50 states) and how many things I've read, and how many stories and ideas that come out of my head.  Guess that's the advantage of being 71.  Although I know many a man my age who really don't know shit because they're narrow small minded people whose minds died years ago.


I love watching So You Think You Can Dance on Wednesdays.  Great athletes and some hot guys and actually some hot girls too.  I think I'd have made a great dancer.  If you saw me though, you'd think I'm crazy.  I have very large calves and all the kids marveled at them when I coached.  


I'm going to leave you with a poem that a fraternity brother and best friend of mine shared with me. You may have already seen it sometime in your life.


It's called IF by Rudyard Kipling.






If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

    And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:


If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:


If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: `Hold on!'


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,   

    And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son!


I love this poem.  Make a copy and pin it up somewhere in your room and read it every now and then.  I forgot just how good it is.  I used to have it posted on my refrigerator, but when it got worn out, I never put it back up.  I should do it again. 


 Sounds like your day went well.  Mine did to.  Made some money doing some editing work, stayed under my calorie count, and got my exercise in.  Finished the first draft of the next chapter of Knots.  I have gotten a couple nice notes from readers who like it.  Matt and Andy are up to no good right now.  I don't know if you're caught up or not, but a lot has happened with these two over the last few chapters.


Pleasant dreams Brave Prince


Will Waters <> Thu, Aug 21, 12:28 AM



Well it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep cause I had that long unplanned nap when I fell asleep after going out to eat. After not sleeping hardly at all last nite and then a nice long swim and a huge fish dinner I just conked right out, paying for it now.

Love the poem! Definitely gonna hang it in my room at home! Along with the other reminders u mentioned, can't hurt.

Yeah Steve is a real dick (the guy that called me pet fag). He's one of the two guys that worked me over last winter when I got beat up on the way home and mom asked me if I wanted to borrow a dress. Yeah, like two on one is real fucking fair! Anyway he's like this HUGE over 6 ft 200 pound lineman on the football team, and I'm like 8 inches shorter and 140 pounds dripping wet in all my clothes, so I gotta seriously think about punching him ya know? Pain hurts and I've had enough.


Christ I'm almost an adult and ma still buys half my clothes in the boys department, totally embarrassing! But I'm definitely not taking any shit this year bro! I think based on how people treated me pretty good at the party and the fact that many of my tormentors graduated and left last spring that this is gonna be a much better year for me. Plus I got Gary and Jason in my corner now, and they're high on the totem pole. And Jennier's new boyfriend likes me and doesn't take any shit either, he's a lineman too. All in all I think it's gonna be a much better year ya know?


As far as the party thing, by the time I left most people were either too fucked or too busy practically having sex, or both, to even notice me missing. Even got a text from Gary this morning telling me to have a good time on my trip, so maybe nothing is even amiss (I love that word). Who knows...not gonna worry bout it til I get home, and by then with school starting it'll be ancient history.

Wish I could call the front desk and get this porn channel unlocked! They have gay porn! Grandma would give birth to an ostrich if she saw that on the room bill though! Ha!

Love ya Frank! More from the road later! 'Jus Will! Xxoo


Frank must have gone to bed because I didn't hear back from him. I was still awake so wrote him again.


Will Waters <> Thu, Aug 21, 1:15 AM



Oh yeah..I'm totally up to date with knots and I wish you'd write faster! It's my fave all time story on gayauthors, and the story that brought us together too! It was because of knots that I felt compelled to reach out to u, thank God u wrote it! I just could so relate to the whole concept of tying knots in our lives that can't be undone or untied that I just hadda write and tell u. Wasn't even really expecting a reply and was blown away when u did! When ya think about it though what yer helping me to do is to actually UNTIE a huge knot, ironic isn't it? I think it is. I've decided that if for some reason we can't work out u coming to graduation (u better!) then I'm coming to California after I graduate. I've got a couple relatives in California (don't know how close to u) so who knows. How close is Pismo Beach to you? Just a thought, we'll figure it out.

Wish I could sleep but I guess ur right and I can sleep more in the car. Hate to miss the scenery though, but I guess we'll be looking at the same thing on the way home too. Just had an awesome wank and I'm still not tired. I love that word "wank", learned it from a story with British boys at gayauthors.

School...there's a thought that's partially responsible for me not sleeping well lately. I know it's gotta be better this year for the reasons I told u earlier, but u gotta understand it's been really really fucking miserable for me for a couple years so my fear is not unfounded here. Funny things happen with kids when they get together and the gang mentality kicks in. We are all older and more mature (most of us) and lots of my problems did graduate and leave, but there's always a "Steve" out there waiting somewhere. I can handle the name calling and laugh it off, but if he ever puts one of his filthy hands on me again I'll go fucking apeshit and it'll take half the class to pull me off him!!!! Swear to God! I'm little but I'm not gonna be a pussy this year!

Well, guess we'll try the sleeping thing again. If that doesn't work another wank is probably in the works! Ha!

Love ya! 'Jus Will!


frankf4321s <> Thu, Aug 21, 8:47 AM





I had no idea Steve was so big.  Glad to hear you heard from Gary and everything's cool.  I think I got myself a little more concerned than I had to.  Boy when the mentor goes haywire, you have to wonder.  See, it happens to us older and wiser guys too.  I've never considered 140 lbs too small mostly because I've had a lot of smaller kids play football for me and they were some of my hardest workers. I guess they thought they had something to prove.  But you have to wonder what it is this big ass Steve has to prove.


You do sound more settled and accepting of the way things are going, and it's good to hear that in your writing.  Sorry if I raised your anxiety levels.  But hell "No pain no gain."


Yeah, you're grandparents would shit a cow if they saw porn on their bill, especially gay porn. .  

I'm headed out to run my two miles.  I was 241 this morning and my goal is to get into the low 230's and stay there for a few months before taking on the next ten pounds.  It's strange when I think of that Steve guy.  I've always been big and yet never used my size to pick on anyone.  I'm just a big pussy cat.  That's why I say there's probably something going on in his life that makes him an asshole.  Try to figure it out.  You might ask Gary and Jason why they think he's that way. 


Take care.  Have a great day.  Hope you get a chance to sleep in the car and have a good night's sleep tonight.


God bless.  Love ya.  Do you miss Max?  I know I do.




Will Waters <> Thu, Aug 21, 12:57 PM



Hey! We're here! We're at grandma's sister's house in Kent. Thought we we're gonna take longer to get here and have two hotel nights but gramps said we actually went a lot further yesterday so didn't have much left today. I got to drive a lot too, totally cool. Anyway aunt Suzie (actually great aunt) has a black lab (Max is yellow) that makes me miss Max, but Molly is a cool dog too. We just got here a bit ago, couldn't get u a message cause I drove a lot and my phone was dead so had to wait til we got here so I could plug it in. Aunt Suzie has a really nice place WITH A POOL! I'm going for a dip before we eat so I gotta go, we'll talk later promise. I miss ya! We're staying here tonight and cooking out because everyone except me is tired. I'm sleeping in this really cool converted attic bedroom while I'm here, it's awesome and plenty of privacy for u know what! Ha!

Love ya! Will n Molly (hope Max's not jealous!)


frankf4321s <> Thu, Aug 21, 1:21 PM





Sounds like where you're staying must be quite nice.  I've always loved attic rooms.  They have a pool.  That's great.  You can swim and lay out by the pool every day.


I had the dogs backwards.  I thought Max was black all this time. I'm not sure why.  I guess it's because most labs are black.  Golden labs are more beautiful though.  


Thanks for the link to Kipling.  I just finished reading the article.  It appears he was beaten by his parents when he was a kid.  Maybe they did that in those days.  I didn't know much about his life except that he spent a lot of time in India.


The one thing that caught my eye was that when he was sent away to boarding school, he called the place a "House of Desolation." Misery loves company as they say, and the only reason this is important is because it gives you a chance to know that others have survived bad things in their lives and have gone on to do great things.


It's great to hear the happiness in your emails.


God loves you and so do I.  God must have something special He wants you to do.  Otherwise why would He have put me in your life?  Just a feeling I have.  But who knows.




Will Waters <> Thu, Aug 21, 2:23 PM



God! Old people! There's a few clouds around and a tiny bit of thunder here and there so I'm not allowed to swim! PUHLEEZE!

Aunt Suzie has hugged and squeezed me and even pinched my damn cheeks like a thousand times already. Jeez! Hope she's over that now.

Bored. Can't swim, don't have my video games, and Suzie has basic cable. Oh well...

Anyway gonna go for a jog maybe as long as nobody thinks I'll get hit by lightning! Ha!

Love ya.  Will n Molly


I forgot to tell Frank something so wrote him back.


Will Waters <> Thu, Aug 21, 2:43 PM



Oh yeah...forgot this part! I friggin KNOW God put u in my life fer a reason!!!! All I gotta do is look at how my life had changed and I know it!!! Sad to say but I probably wouldn't even be here to see the Mariners play if it wasn't fer u !!!  Love ya bro!!!!!!!!


frankf4321s <> Thu, Aug 21, 3:44 PM




An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  I'd never heard of anyone being struck by lightning while swimming; jogging, yes, but swimming, no. But better safe that sorry.  Boy, don't you just love all those old sayings.


Hope your cheeks aren't too raw.


Have a great time at the game tomorrow.  Catch a foul ball for me.


God bless.  Love ya.




Will Waters <> Thu, Aug 21, 4:15 PM



How the heck would a email from me have a link ta something about Rudyard Kipling that I have no idea about!??!?? Frank are u sure??? That's too friggin weird!!! Kinda scary!!! Did that really happen??? I've heard of stuff happening weird-like on email but this is screwy!

I've been swimming, but damn it'd be nice if aunt Suzie actually turned the dam heater on! My balls tried to get up to my bellybutton!!

I'm feeling a lot better bout the party. Gary texted me and asked what happened so I said someone I recognized from Braxton gave me a ride home cause he wanted to go home early and he bought it! I finally caught a break! AND! Jason told Gary that the mystery chick (?) who gave Steve shit bout giving me shit laid him out!!! Awesome!

Gotta run, burgers n chicken on the grill ready I guess.

Love ya! Will n Molly!


frankf4321s <> Thu, Aug 21, 5:43 PM



This time you really did tell a lie to Gary.  Harmless of course.  But you don't want to get caught up in lies, so be careful.  It's hard to remember small lies.  It's one thing to say you're straight because that one is kind of necessary and one that isn't hard to keep track of.  It's the little ones that can cause you problems especially if Gary wants to know more about the guy who took you home etc.  


I don't suppose the truth would have hurt in this case.  "I got tired and still felt a little ill at ease being at a party when I thought we were going to the show, so started walking home and called my dad when I had cell service."   Hell, why can't life be easier?  Of course, they created the problem by inviting you to the show and then taking you to a party.  But hell, that's life.  After all you know for sure that "Life is Difficult."   Accepting that has made the biggest difference in my life.  High expectations always tend to bring disappointment.  So I keep them moderately high.  I don't want to be a pessimist. And as usual, don't forget to expect the unexpected.  


I'm not sure why the link was there on Kipling.  

Glad you got a chance to swim. We've had wonderful August weather here.  It's been in the 80's when it's usually in the high 90's and 100's.  I have all kinds of ground squirrels around my place so I hit them with mothballs and ammonia, which got rid of most of them.  I also trapped a couple.  They were running all around the place digging holes.  


Hope you sleep better tonight.  So much has happened in your life that I can definitely see why you're having trouble sleeping.


Take care.  Love ya.




frankf4321s <> Thu, Aug 21, 5:57 PM





I believe you wrote me a few emails back and you're caught up on Knots. Andy and Matt are really getting themselves into some bad shit.  No other way to say it.  Hell, everyone at school could be calling them sluts and whores if they find out.  A lot of the kids already think that.  But what will happen to Matt's somewhat clean image?  OMG.  


You also mentioned visiting your relatives in Pismo Beach. I live way up near San Francisco, which is a long way from Pismo Beach.  My kids live seven hours south of me so we could always meet halfway in between.  But I think it will work out.  Just be patient.  

You might get Gary and Jason to tell Steve to back off.  Glad to hear the girl continued to put him in his place after you left.  


Oh, by the way, I wrote Comicality (another writer at gayauthors) a couple days back and he sent me a long email. We write now and then and I have to tell you I was surprised when he wrote me back the first time. We've become friends over time and he's posted two of my stories at his web site.


I answer every email I get so that's why I answered yours. It wasn't until you wrote me again and told me you really needed me badly, and were insistent, that I realized I needed to be there for you. You can be very assertive when you want to be. I guess you were pretty desperate at the time.


So here we are writing each other every day. Hell, I write as much to you as I do in my stories in a week. I enjoy every minute of it.


Okay. I'm going to eat dinner. God loves you and so do I.


It must be nice having Molly as a replacement for Max.  Talk to you later.  God bless.  Love ya.




Will Waters <> Fri, Aug 22, 5:36 AM



I'm going to read the next chapter of Knots tonight. I'll need something to read at night here with basic cable (yuck) and for the drive home next week. That's cool that u talked to comicality, I like his stuff too! We're going to see downtown Seattle today. Doing the whole tourist thing then the ballgame tonite! The Mariners are gonna to kick ass!!!! Gotta go get ready. Talk to ya later!

Love ya! Will n Molly (ha!)


Frank wrote me a short note and told me to enjoy my day and my reading. Then something awesome happened.