Chapter 8
Will Waters <willw521K@gomail.com> Tues, August 12,
Ok.
Whew. I'm so sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. Didn't
mean to do that. I was so upset earlier that after everything died down
around here I laid down and fell asleep. Think my
brain just like shorted out for awhile. Anyway, sorry Frank.
Alright, here's what happened and how it all played out. Bear with me here if
it gets a little disjointed, it'll all make sense in the end.
1. Went to the church at
2. Finally we sat in his office. He
locked the door (?) so we could talk. Right away I felt like I was being
interrogated. I'm not gonna go over everything that
was specifically said cause I'd be typing all night and it's 1 am, but I'll hit
the highlights here. : T- you know why you're
here? Me-
kinda, maybe. To help me sort things out?
T- yes. That and to
stop being a sinner and do what's right and be a good kid. Me- I'm not a sinner, I am a good kid.
What'd I do wrong? T- The Bible specifically tells us that
homosexuals are evil and condemned to hell. Do you want to go to hell? Me- no, but I'm not a homosexual first
of all. And besides God loves everyone. T-
He doesn't love them. Me-
I think he does. T- that's not for u to decide. That's
what I'm here for. Me- who
made u king!?? T- don't
get smart with me! And I don't like your tone. Me- sorry. Why am I really here?
T- to start with a full confession of your
past sins. You want to tell me how this all started? Your father has already
spoken to me, but I want you to come clean because you'll feel better and you
can then be forgiven. Me- for what? T- tell me what
happened between you and this James boy your father spoke to me about? (OH
SHIT!) Me- that was years ago and I
was just a kid and it's none of your business. T- it's my business now
because your parents want it to be. Now what specifically did u do with him. Me- I'm not talking about it.. We we're kids. We just experimented and fooled around
like kids do. No big deal. Can we move on here? T- have
you read Leviticus 18:22? Let's read it together (we did). That means u have
sinned in God's eyes, child or not, so you will tell me specifically what
happened so u can be forgiven. Did u touch each other? Me- I don't care what u say or why u think I'm here, what happened
when I was 14 is none of your (POW!!! OPEN HANDED WALLOP ON
THE SIDE OF MY FUCKING HEAD!!!!) end of story.
I shouted FUCK U! ran outside and hopped on my bike in
the rain and rode down to the river and read your message and messaged u back. Then went home etc etc.
I needa break for some munchies.
I'll be back in a few. Will
------------------------------>
>
Will Waters <willw521K@gomail.com> Tues, August 12, 10:47 PM
Ok
I'm home. It's a short ride. Mom's gone. Dad just called me too and said he's
on his way and to stay and not leave. I'm not going anywhere!
! I'm settling down now, sorry I was freaking out. Adrenaline ya know. I'm so fucking pissed! Not ever going back there
don't care bout what anyone says! Dad's gonna be
home inna minute. Why why
why!??? What the fuck? Why can't
shit just go ok?? Might be a while before I get back to u.
*****
My dad was pissed when I called him and told him what happened. You can see from the email, he told me to wait for him to get home. If you'd have told me what was going to happen next, I'd have never believed you. As far as that goes, Todd hitting me is something I'd have never believed either. That asshole has the nerve to want to talk about my fooling around with James when I was fourteen. He smacks me up the side of the head and he doesn't think that's a bigger sin. He's an adult. I was a kid when James and I fooled around. I am a kid if you call being seventeen a kid. But I'm sure not considered an adult yet. I didn't feel like writing and got a couple emails from Frank.
*****
frankf4321s <frankf4321s@gomail.com> Tue, August 12,
To: willw521k@gomail.com
Will
Sounds to me like the pastor was trying to get his jollies off by having you tell him about what you and James did. Locking the door really sounds suspicious. You handled it very well. I'm impressed. You kept your cool. He's so full of shit. And you're right, why did what you did at 14 have anything to do with anything. You were just kids. And you haven't done anything since. It's like he wants you to be a sinner. (What crap).
Leviticus is full of shit. Jesus never once mentioned homosexuality. If it was so important, why didn't he mention it? Those idiots love going back to the OldTtestament. They stoned people for many things in Leviticus that Christians ignore today, but you notice, they sure can't let homosexuality go.
This guy sounds like a way out control freak. I had figured he was a pretty good guy originally when you talked about him and you wre worried about lying to him. But you didn't lie to him. That's good.
I'm anxious to hear more about how your mom and dad reacted.
Frank
*****
frankf4321s <frankf4321s@gomail.com> Wed, August 13,
To: willw521k@gomail.com
Will
I think the community is really going to be behind you after all this. I hope your injury isn't more serious than you thought.
Love ya.
Frank
*****
It was hell waiting for my dad to come home. I guess he stopped to talk to the pastor and ended up hitting the asshole. Can you believe it? My dad really loves me. As usual, it seems the important emails are missing so I'm doing my best to piece together what happened between the emails I do have. What makes things even worse is my mom does a lot of volunteer work at the church.
frankf4321s <frankf4321s@gomail.com> Wed, August 13,
To: willw521k@gomail.com
Will
I'll
be heading to bed pretty soon. I have to
drive a little over an hour to meet a new friend for brunch at
I
was thinking that it's too bad you don't live in a big city with a big school
where you would have a Gay Straight
But at the same time you wouldn't have this learning experience. I know you wish you didn't have to, but you're growing as a person.
"Each of us must bloom where God has sown us."
Hope you're okay and didn't have to stay in the hospital overnight.
Love ya.
Frank
*****
Will Waters <willw521K@gomail.com>
Wed, August 13,
I'm
staying home all day Thursday and for several days because I look like hell.
The broken blood vessel doesn't hurt but makes me look like a crash survivor!
Hope your new friend is a guy and he's a hottie!!
Mom doesn't have any issues with her job at the church. Besides asshole sure is
in no position to call any shots now! Might be weird for her but who knows?
Maybe he's gonna be outta
the picture?
Good news (?). Maybe. My old buddy
Love ya. Max says woof. Ha! Will. Night. Xxoo
*****
frankf4321s <frankf4321s@gomail.com> Wed, August 13,
To: Willw521k@gomail.com
Woof back to Max. Glad to hear your old friend texted you. That's a good sign. The good word is probably gotten out and instead of being on the slow track you are on the fast track. They need to fire the pastor, and I personally think they should know what he was up in order to protect some other poor kid. For all we know he has done something with some of the other kids. It's possible that while James didn't go to your church the two of them had some kind of encounter and that accounts for James' more aggressive behavior for a 13 year old. Just conjecture. Good Night. Talk to you tomorrow.
*****
Will Waters <Willw521K@gomail.com> Wed, August 13,
I
know
Frank ur right about this
all maybe having a positive outcome, but I'm not happy about all this. I'm
really really happy bout mom and dad and me all being
cool again. It's awesome. But what a price. Why does
shit gotta be so hard sometimes? Everything u have said makes total sense and has helped me feel so much
better though. And another good thing too, don't have
to go to therapy on Friday now. Still have to probably go, but not for a while.
Mom didn't wanna postpone, but dad said I've been
through enough in the last few days so I can chill for a few days or a week or
whatever. He's turning back into the cool pop I remember from two years ago.
It's awesome, and he's like so totally my hero right now too for busting
asshole in the face. Yes! That was so cool of him. Mom said violence didn't
solve anything, but said it with a smirk! Ha! Hope that fucker is gone for
good!
I
told mom and dad about the locked door thing tonight cause I didn't mention it
before. Dad just let out a very long sigh, gripped the steering wheel a lot
tighter with both hands, and said "oohkay..."
very slowly. I left it at that. I have a feeling that perhaps we're not done
talking about asshole by a long shot, and that mom and dad may not be the only
ones I'll be talking to about him. Gotta a strange sinking feeling about this Frank. Whatever
happens I'm not talking to anyone without dad present. Mom's cool but I want
dad.
Wrote a lot in my journal tonite.
Haven't done it in over a week, and as u know had
PLENTY of topic matter. Not trying to be funny. That journal might end up being
really important some day. Started
it before I was 13. Haven't always been perfect about it, there some
gaps, but I always did my best to fill them in. Pain in the ass cause it's all hand written, but that's kinda
cool too. Could be the basis for
I don't know how things are gonna go here in the next
few weeks, or even next few days, I just pray things can be kept low key. I'm gonna try to lay low for sure. I know because of Gavin, Jenn's boyfriend, calling her, and my old friend
Guess I'll try to get some sleep. I can nap all day. Not going anywhere except
back yard with Max for a few days anyways.
Thank u so much for being my ear, shoulder and friend. I really love you.
Will.