A New Beginning (high school section)

by Dean Star

Summary: Samwell Samwells, Sam, killed himself one year ago in his basement or at least that is what his friends believe. Now a new Sam who is a hundred pounds lighter and more confident is back and everyone is shocked. He was in California in a rehab center for suicidal teens after a failed suicide attempt and now he is back with confidence on getting revenge on the people who made his life a living hell and a plan to turn his own life around for the better. He is especially looking forward to getting revenge on his personal tormentor Benji Miller but when he meets a Benji who has changed as much as Sam has he in conflicted between getting his revenge and the feelings he has for Benji.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional story which involves elements of a homosexual nature between two high School teenagers. It concerns love, romance and sex between consenting males that are underage (both are 17). If these topics are illegal in your area or if you are offended but such topics please leave now.

A/N: This story is a little dark and twisty, it is a revenge story with a big twist. I hope you like it, this will be the first story I am posting online so I would really appreciate any feedback, reviews, critiques, etc etc. Send them to deanstar@comcast.net emails are love, they let me know to continue on with the story!


"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."

Louis L'Amour


He stood in his basement, it was a school day but he decided to skip, it wasn't like it would matter if he skipped his last day or not. He appreciated the dark and damp and cold his basement made him feel; it was refreshing and for the first time in a long time he felt life move through his veins instead of the sharp shards of glass that replaced his blood a long time ago. The stale smell of mildew, the cold sweat on the stone walls, the hum of the heater pumping warm air into the house; all of it was a distraction from the razor blade glinting on the table in front of him.

He looked at the note again, tears staining his cheeks he sniffs his nose and plays at the corner of the paper. Suddenly he is feeling uncomfortable, all of the cold confidence drained from his muscles and he begins to shake.

I'm sorry. Was all it said, he didn't have the strength to muster any other words. He felt tormented every day by a bully he once called his best friend. The two friends he had were distancing themselves from him. He was overweight and hated his body, hated who he was. Everyone else hated him so why shouldn't he hate himself? What did he have left, especially when they all found out he was gay?

Just two days ago he was happy, at least as happy as he could be right now in his life. He walked to school in a light jacket in single digit degree weather, a sticky sweat constant on his forehead even though he was cold enough that he had to fight back the shivers. Only fifteen years old and already hating his life, he only went to school because he had to.

He begged his parents to move, to let him go to a private school or even a religious one if he had to. Every time they smiled and told him life was tough and he needed to find a way to fit in with the kids at school, running from your problems will never solve anything.

He walked through the front door looking at the ground; he wouldn't dare look up into anyone's eyes. He didn't like seeing them look at him in disgust when he walked down the hall. When he saw his locker he stared up in horror, F.A.G. was written across the metal in a pink sharpie marker, one of those paint markers designed to write on metal. He stood in total horror looking at it, who knew? How did they know? He never looked at a boy let alone let anyone know what he was gay. He was too ashamed of it, too scared to tell anyone because he was horrified that it would come to this result. His life was over, it was as simple as that.

It was the zenith of his anger, his pain, of the amount of suffering he was willing to sufferThat was why he sat in his basement, in the dark, in the cold with a note and a razor blade. He hated his life but he never thought it would come to this.

So he gripped the blade, held the cold steel against his wrist and shuttered at the feeling of this fiery ice against his pale skin. Slowly he ripped it across his skin and screamed out in pain...


The buzzard sound woke him up with a startle, Samwell Samwells hated the noise his alarm clock made to wake him but it was inviting, something he missed at his time away from home. It had been little over a year since he heard that alarm, a year since he slept in his own bed. As he sat up Samwell, who went by Sam and never Samwell, pushed the alarm clock to eliminate the headache inducing noise.

The door to his room sluggishly crept open and his mother's head popped in, she looked as weary as he felt. "You up?"

"Yeah I am...obviously." He mumbled, referring to the fact he was sitting up in bed and not snoring under his covers.

"It's time for you to make breakfast,"

Sam smiled, "No, it's my first day back I think you need to make me breakfast Mom. Aren't mothers supposed to make the meals in the household?"

Even though her eyes were barely a slit he could still see her roll them. "No, you make it better. Get a move on." And with that she was gone.

Sam smiled, he was glad to be back home but he would never admit to his mother that he missed her lazy attitude. He quickly put on a pair of red boxer-briefs and scuttled down into the kitchen. Outside the sun was already starting to light up the sky and the birds were chirping loud enough to be on the wrong side of annoying. He quickly went through the cabinets grabbing plates, forks, eggs, bread, the toaster, spray for the pan, ketchup, sausage and a myriad of other ingredients to make a quick yet tasty meal. Sam stood there looking down at his arrayed ingredients and was proud of himself that after a year he still remembered where everything was in his kitchen.

The coffee maker was already on and the smell permeated the room until he cracked the eggs and it began to smell like the morning to him. He always woke up to his father cooking breakfast, the smell of eggs and sausage and crunchy toast mixed with the smell of coffee to wake him in the morning. It was his morning smell and he was grateful to be back, grateful for that familiar feeling after not having it for a year. Sam never realized how much he would miss the little things when he left home and he wondered if it was because he was forced to go, would he feel the same when he went to college?

His mother came down the stairs, walking down like a zombie in her messy grey pajamas. Her hair was a hodgepodge of tangles, long and blonde but up in some kind of bun that looked like one big knot. Sam looked like his mother, short and lithe and a little curvaceous. He had golden blonde hair like hers but kept it short and combed it to the side, not this knot style his mother was trying to pull off. The biggest differences between them were the features he got from his father, the Romanesque nose and strong jaw line and the dimple in his chin. Plus the other, more private features he knew his father gave him, something he would never equate with his mother.

Stumbling over she grabbed a mug and hazardously spilled coffee into it (along with spilling half of it onto the counter) and turned to him, still pouring the coffee on the floor. "Where is the sugar?"

Sam laughed, "You are spilling it all over the floor."

She looked down and shrugged at the black liquid on the floor, "The dog will lick it up."

"We don't have a dog, Mom."

"Then we should get one to help clean up."

"I asked for one a few years ago and you told me we couldn't get it because you're allergic."

"Whatever..." She cautiously walked over the spill and took her plate into the living room.

Sam had an odd relationship with his parents, they still acted like children and he acted too much like an adult. His mother was lazy, always had been even when he was a babyn she made his father change all of Sam's diapers. Not walking too far anywhere and always making other people do things she didn't feel like doing. On the other hand Sam's father was a dork, loved Star Trek (called it his religion) and even still played with legos in his "mancave".

"I'm going up to get ready." Sam called out, his Mom just waved from the couch nonchalantly.

It took Sam a total of twenty minutes to get ready, he didn't have much to do in the morning to make himself, he though, look good. He simply brushed his hair and had a little trouble picking out clothes, after all it was his first day of school. He would be starting a week later then everyone else but he didn't mind, he liked to make an entrance so he was looking forward to being a week late.

Sam ended up choosing a yellow polo over a white long sleeve shirt, both tucked into khaki pants and brown sketchers. It was a little dressy but he didn't mind, he felt comfortable in them and that was all that mattered to him. He grabbed his old-English leather messenger bag, the only thing his grandfather left him when he died while Sam was away for the year.

Sam skipped down the stairs to see his mother, Victoria Samwells, leaning against the front door with her gray pajamas on and her fathers leather jacket over her shoulders. The jacket was too big for Sam's Dad but looked totally ridiculous on Victoria, it looked like she was a three year old wearing her father's jacket.

"Gonna drive the Harley to work today ma?" He teased in his best impression of a southern accent.

"Darling do not try to do macho it just doesn't suit you at all." She lulled. "Make sure you are back on time tonight, no going out with a boy on your first day of school. You have dinner to make."

Sam slumped, "I don't even get the first day of school off for cooking duty? Can't we just order som..."

Suddenly she was in front of him, arms wrapped around his skinny body and head on his shoulder. Carefully Sam brought his arms up and around her as well. She was warm, that mom smell mixed with the smell of his father's leather truly made him feel like he was back home. "Will you be alright?"

Sam rolled his eyes "I told you Mom that is all in the past. I won't be so...so dramatic in the future about my problems." He patted his stomach. "One of the biggest is gone."

Her eyes twinkled with tears, "Your biggest problem was never your weight and you know it. You...you need to be careful." She paused. "You are all grown up...this will be your last day."

"It's my first day Mom, I guess my last first day. Is that what you mean?"

"You will be going off to college next year and probably get a boyfriend."

I snorted, "Yeah I doubt I will find one in farmsville."

"Then you will have sex and never be my boy anymore but my man son."

Sam was horrified, he hated when she got like this. "Mom I don't want to talk about sex with you...and man son? What is that?"

"Oh god your first time will be so special honey, I remember mine. At first he was a little rough but once we got into things he was so tender. We were both so nervous and I didn't even come so I..."

The front door slamming in her face and Sam on the other side ended THAT conversation. To his surprise his father was leaning against a black car in their driveway with a smirk on his face. "Mom was talking about her first time."

Sam Sr. was taller then both Victoria and Sam, in his forties he didn't look a day above thirty. Sam got his youthful face from his father, Sam had been told countless times that he could be mistaken for someone in Middle School, not a Junior in High school. He also got one of his strangest traits form his father, a set of different colored eyes.

It was called heterochromia, very rare in humans but it was hereditary. Both father and son had one blue eye and one brown, Samwell's eyes were lighter and his right eye, the hazel one, had little green flecks of color as if green paint dripped off a brush. His left eye was a pale blue.

"This is yours." His Dad said with a smile, motioning to the car behind him. "It is a 2010 Kia forte, the color is Black Cherry but I think it looks more black then cherry to me."

Sam was gawking at the car, he turned around and saw his mother smiling at him through the front door window. He ran over and hugged his father tight as he looked inside the car. It looked pretty expensive with its brown leather seats, black dashboard with Sirius and a spot to plug in his iPod (his Dad knows how important music is to him).

"There is another surprise in the glove compartment." His father whispered as he patted him on the back.

Sam smiled at him as he handed him the keys and walked off, Sam rolled his eyes at the Enterprise Spaceship keychain on his keys but brushed it off. He had a new car!

He jumped in and fiddled with the Sirius radio, trying to find the perfect song but settled on a station and just leaned back to enjoy the new car smell. Suddenly he remembered the surprise in the glove compartment and when he opened it he screamed out in horror.

Rappers in different metallic and plastic colors, different sizes and some with flavors; over a hundred condoms piled high ing his glove compartment along with small packets of lubricant. Sam just sat there in horror at the thought of his father wondering around town buying all of these, Now everyone thinks my father is a sex maniac and my mother is dry,,,down there!

He quickly shut the glove compartment to hide his shame and purred as he started up the car without much noise from the engine.

"This year will be different." He smiled. "This year will be better!"


Mt. Manga's first period class was uproarious with talk of the summer. What did you do? Did you hear he did this? She did that over the summer? Mr. Manga didn't mind, he always let them talk the first ten minutes of class to let them get it out. They ended up dubbing him a good teacher because of it, they were advanced kids, the ones who gave a hoot about school so this ten minutes of reprieve was something he was happy to give them.

The little man from Japan watched as the door opened and a small skinny kid walked into the room and was startled that everyone quieted down. The kid dressed nice and had a familiar energy to him, Mr. Mang believed everyone had an energy to them and for some odd reason he felt as if he knew this kid but never actually saw him before today.

"Hi son may I help you?"

Sam smiled to Mr. Manga, "Hi I'm a new transfer." He watched as he handed the man his transfer papers and his eyes lit up. He stifled a giggle as Mr. Manga looked from the paper up to Sam then back down, up and down, several times before gasping when he saw Sam's eyes.

The whole class behind him watched in amusement, not knowing what was going on.

"This...you...I thought..." Sam just smiled. Mr. Manga turned to the class and cleared his throat. "Welcome him to class."

Sam nudged him with his shoulder and whispered, "You didn't tell them my name."

Mr. manage cleared his throat again, "Welcome Sam to class...Sam Samwells."

If you've ever seen a movie where the entire class gasps as one entity and you think that it would never happen in real life you would be wrong. The entire class gasped at Sam who just stood there looking at them with a big grin on his face.

"I thought you died." Someone called out.

"Yeah you jumped in the river."

"No he hooked up with some guy from the prison and ended up getting himself killed."

"I thought he moved to Africa because his parents joined Doctors without borders?"

Sam laughed, "Sorry nothing as excited as that. I left and I have returned." Sam turned to Mr. Manga with a smile, "It's nice to see you again sir."

Sam took a seat by the door and just smiled, a year ago he went to this school and one day just disappeared. No one knew where he went, one day he was there and the next he was gone. His parents were there for a while, just a few days after Sam was gone they left too. No one knew where he went and he wasn't about to tell them he tried to kill himself in his basement. He was enjoying the shocked look on their faces, left a lazy slob who was overweight and came back a skinny little thing with enough confidence to outshine his entire Junior class.

When he took his seat he saw one of his friends, Silas Miller, sitting in the back looking hurt. Sam looked him up and down, still wearing jeans and a flannel shirt but looking older, more mature and pretty hot. His brown hair was spiky but his face was more distinguished, his brown eyes dark and brooding.

Brushing off the thoughts of getting hot for his ex-best friend Sam looked back to the front of the class at the still startled Mr. Manga. "Is there something wrong?" Sam asked him.

Mr. Manga shook his head, "No...sorry I...it's just you..."

Sam sighed, "Yes yes I came back looking fabulous and totally different. Sorry everyone but you won't have a plushy punching bag to push around anymore." He smiled. "By the way Mr. manage the announcements are starting, maybe you should turn the sound up?"

"Right...yes..." Mr. Manga mumbled and un-muted the television.

The announcements were boring and the girl next to Sam kept looking over at him then quickly looking away when Sam would notice her stare. Towards the end of the announcements when she looked over he blew her a kiss, waving his hand and all, rather sarcastically and she blushed, burrying her face in her hands in total embarrassment.

As the bell rung Sam stood up and gracefully wrapped his grandfather's bag around his shoulder and quickly exited the room before everyone else. He was on cloud 9, nothing could bring him down.

Save for Silas' asshole of a brother, Benjamin Miller, who was standing on the other side of the hall staring at him. While they were related, twins in fact, Silas and Benji Miller looked absolutely nothing alike. Benjamin was bigger with his father's black hair, which he wore buzzed on the sides and messy on top. He was taller then Silas with big muscle mass from being on the football team. His bushy black eye brows really drew out the blue eyes Sam always thought looked like a wolf's eyes. If you didn't know they were twins you would never guess Silas and Benji were related, let alone brothers, never twins.

Sam saw Silas run across the hall as he turned the corner and smiled at the thought of the Miller brothers talking about him. They used to be his best friends, they lived directly across the street form his house but somehow Benji worked it out that Sam was gay. He tortured Sam on a daily basis his freshmen year, he made it his living goal to make him feel like shit before he left school every day. He was the one who wrote fag on his locker.

That was a different time, that was a different life and that was a different Sam. That Sam died in his basement, that Sam was buried in the dirt never to come back to walk the halls of Thornton High School. This new Sam had more confidence; this new Sam had a plan for his life and for getting back at the people that made him cut his wrists in the basement of his house.