Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2012 23:28:02 -0400
From: Derrick Chase <pessimistsandoptimists@gmail.com>
Subject: A Pessimist's Guide to Optimism-5

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to real life
events or people are purely coincidental. This story is about love and lust
and loss, the three most entertaining things in the world! When deemed
necessary, there will be sex. If you are offended by sex, why are you on
this website? Get out now. If you are underage and reading this... Well,
there's worse stuff you could be doing illegally; you should still hit
escape though!!! Rebellious delinquents...

Chapter 5 RYAN

   It was five minutes to ten, and I was fervently trying to zip up my
suitcase. I was sitting on top of the hulking trunk, grunting with the
effort it took to close it; I was a notorious over-packer. I had four pairs
of jeans, a pair of dress pants, five polo shirts, six dress shirts, a
sport coat, twelve pairs of socks, nine pairs of boxers, eight sweaters,
seven different coats, three hats, and a pair of gloves all crammed into
not one, but two suitcases. I was only staying in New York City for six
days.

   James came back from Cancun yesterday, and he called me in the middle of
the night to ask if I would come to New York with him tomorrow
morning. Thanks for the heads up, James. I'm just kidding, I love New
York. Love it. My family used to go all the time, but since the Recession,
we haven't gone on as many vacations. James's family goes everywhere. They
have timeshares all over the world, and they're very wealthy people. His
mom is world class businesswoman, and his dad is a chef; he owns
restaurants all over America. I have no idea why the Griffins decided to
live in boring Ohio, but his family is very closely knit. James's
grandparents all live in Ohio, as well as all of the aunts, uncles and
cousins. I've met most of them, and they all love me.

   James's parents take James with them on trips every once and a while,
but they always let him bring a friend. For five years, that friend has
been me. I remember the first time he asked me to come with him. He was
going to Laguna Beach, in California. I had the hardest time convincing my
parents, but Mrs. Griffin gave my mom a call. Everything worked out, and I
couldn't believe it when I found myself up in the air, heading towards the
sunny beaches of Cali. Fast forward five years, and trips with James are
old hat. Together, we've been to Laguna Beach, Miami, New Orleans, Chicago,
San Francisco, and today, we were going to New York!

"Do you need help?" My mom was at the door looking at me trying to force my
suitcase closed. I must have looked comical.

"Oh, are we allowed to talk about the trip now?" I asked. Stephanie, my
sister, had been pouting all through breakfast about my sudden
vacation. The topic had been banned by mom for the sake of a tantrum on
Steph's part.

"Steph's over at Rachel's. You haven't answered my question. Why not just
use a second bag?"

"I already have." I said, nodding over to the stuffed duffel bag in the
corner.

"Jesus, how much did you pack? It's only six days!" My mom gave me a
incredulous grin.

"Exactly! Six days! I don't think I have enough!" The sad part was, I
wasn't kidding.

My mom laughed, "We need to get you to a therapist. You're out of control."

   She shut the door, and I heard her walk down the stairs. I fell off my
trunk, and laid exhausted on the floor. It had been a crazy few
weeks. Three days had past, and my lips still tingled at the thought of
Derrick Chase's kiss. Or was it my kiss? Our kiss? I didn't know. All I did
know was that it had been the most incredible Christmas of my life.

   It was unexpected to say the least. Derrick showed up at my door,
dressed in a worn pair of jeans and plain, white shirt. He smiling a
nervous smile, and when he told me he was gay, I couldn't hold myself back
anymore. I kissed him. He kissed me. We kissed each other. When we were
finished, he held my hand all the way back to my house. Corny?
Maybe. Romantic? Definitely.

   I had checked my phone religiously every five minutes for the past few
days, but Derrick never texted. I wasn't worried; he made it pretty clear
that night he was into me. I did want to talk to him, though. I felt like
our relationship was still in an awkward stage. Both of us were dipping our
toes in the water, trying to get a feel for how the whole 'I wanna fuck you
but wanna be respectful about it' thing was supposed to work.

  I had been waiting since Christmas for an opportunity to text Derrick,
and a spur of the moment trip to New York qualified.

Me: hey, i just thought youd wanna know, i'm goin to newyork with james
today, it was really last minute and random.

   That sounded good... right? I returned to my luggage, and with a final
effort, tugged the zipper all the way around the suitcase. Phew.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

   I had my phone in my hand within seconds.

Derrick Chase: thats soo sick dude. text me pics though... and call me
every once and awhile ;)

Me: i deffffinitly will. every night. are things good?

Derrick Chase: things are great. your text woke me up. i was having this
crazy nightmare.

Me: what was it about?

Derrick Chase: there was this really hot guy. and he kept kissing me and he
told me he would never stop. i couldnt even breath. his tongue was so far
down my throat. i was so scared. i woke up all sweaty ;)

Me: wow. if james gets here and sees the huge wood im sporting, im telling
him its cuz of you.

Derrick Chase: its not my fault you cant control yourself... youre an
animal

   I had my right hand in my pants when my mom called from downstairs.

"Hunny, they're here! Are you finished packing?"

   I sighed, and slowly removed my hand from my jeans.

"Yeah, ma. I'll be down in a minute."

   My phone buzzed again.

James Griffin: get your ass out here!! :)

Me: come inside and help me with my shit.

   It took James a minute to make his way up to my bedroom. He was
adorable, per-usual. He was dressed in a green sweat jacket and dark blue
jeans. James was the kind of person that could look drop dead gorgeous in a
sweatshirt. His brown hair was blown askew, and he ran his hand through it
as he gaped at my two trunks.

"You have issues." That was all he said.

"Fuck off! I need stuff to choose from! You'll regret it when you end up
wearing the same pair of jeans for the whole trip."

"It's six days!"

"It's New York City!"

"Whatever, my parents are waiting in the car. Let's go. Let's go."

   He lugged the bigger bag down the stairs, and I followed him meekly with
the smaller, but just as heavy bag. My mom was waiting for me by the front
door She had a wad of cash in one hand, and a look on her face that said,
"Don't think you can leave this house without a kiss goodbye!"

"I love you." she said, hugging and kissing me. "Be safe. Be
careful. Listen to Mrs. Griffin. And take this. This is for your report
card. I'll miss you. Have a good, fun time."

   She kissed me again, and handed me three-hundred dollars. Score!

"Thanks, mom. I'll be good, I promise."

"I know you will," she smiled and waved after me as I lugged my luggage
into the back of Mr. Griffin's Escalade. Thank God that thing has plenty of
space in the trunk.

"Ryan, how are you, son?" Mr. Griffin asked me kindly from the front seat.

I buckled my seatbelt (safety first), "I'm great. Can't wait to get to the
city. Thanks a lot for taking me."

Mrs. Griffin beamed at me, "Such a gentleman. We're happy to have you along
for the trip, Ryan."

"Yes, we're always grateful to have you. I'm sure there would be no end to
the trouble Jimmy would get into if we left him alone for just a second in
the Big Apple!" Mr. Griffin joked.

   I looked over at James. He was grinning at me with copper-colored
eyes. He licked his lips quickly.

"So dad, what are the plans for the trip." he asked, glancing back at me
once more.

"Well... First we have to get to the airport. We're flying private,
obviously. I do hate those wretched security lines. I feel like a cow being
herded into a barn when I fly commercial." Mr. Griffin was the epitome of a
snob, not that I cared.

"Once we get to the hotel, we'll rest up before going out. Ryan and you
have a room together, and your mom and I have a suite. Once we unpack we'll
go eat. Then, tomorrow we go see a play on Broadway--"

"Ughh." James complained.

"What play?" I asked trying to feign interest.

"Oh no, it will just be Mrs. Griffin and I!"

"I figured you guys wouldn't be too beat up about not going to a play,"
Mrs. Griffin said, spotting James's look of relief.

"Then Sunday, you're mom and I have a charity dinner. We don't leave until
Wednesday. You boys will have plenty of time to see the city. Your mom and
I are hoping that you and Ryan will be okay by yourselves."

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"Well, your mom and I have some business related work planned, and unless
you and Ryan want to stay shut up in the hotel all week, we were thinking
that you boys are old enough to travel the city by yourselves."

James looked at me, beaming.

"I think we can handle that." he laughed

"I'll keep him in line Mrs. Griffin."

Mr. and Mrs. Griffin chuckled.

This was going to be a great trip.

*******************************************************

   The jet landed with a squelching thump, and the sun's rays glittered off
of the blanket of snow that covered the ground. The flight had been short
and comfortable. James and I passed the time on the couch playing Fruit
Ninja and talking about all of the things we were going to do. How I loved
Mr. Griffin's hatred for commercial airlines.

"Obviously, Rockefeller Center is a must." James was telling me, "We can
spend a whole day in Central Park! Then there's the Natural History Museum,
the Museum of Modern Art, Time Square, the Empire State Building, Time
Warner Center, FAO Schwartz--"

He stopped his litany of ideas as I laughed.

"You've really thought all this through, haven't you?"

"Dude!" he exclaimed, "We're gonna be on our own in THE New York City for a
whole week. We're gonna run out of stuff to do unless we think!"

"I doubt that," I said placidly. I had been to New York; people who have
lived there for their whole lives hadn't run out of stuff to do.

   The drive to the hotel didn't take long either. We had left my house at
10:05, and at 12:37 the taxi dropped us all off at the our hotel, which was
right in the middle of Time Square. I hardly had time to take the whole
experience in. Only hours ago I had been back in boring Ohio. Here I was in
New York City! The City of all Cities! The very air had a vibe that oozed
with... Extravagance? Importance? I found myself filled with the need to
get a million things done in a matter of days. Who needed to stop and smell
the roses when there were skyscrapers to climb?

   The hotel was amazing. How could it have been anything less when the
Griffins had chosen it as their residence for a week? Mr. Griffin had
clearly stayed at the hotel before; the bellhop remembered him, and rushed
fervently to help us with our bags. James and I were staying two floors
below his parents, and the elevator dropped us off first.

"Meet us in the lobby in two hours." Mr. Griffin said before the elevator
doors slid shut.

 The bellhop led the way to our room, and unloaded our luggage for us. He
thanked us graciously for letting him take our bags up for us; Mr. Griffin
was an extremely liberal tipper. James waited for the door to close before
he scrambled towards the bed closest to the bathroom.

"I call it! I call it!" he shouted as a jumped on top of him, slapping him
on the head.

"We're in New York! We're in New York!" I yelled between slaps.

   The room was very nice and ornate looking. There was a bathroom to the
left of the door, two soft beds with lots of blankets, an LG television,
and a window that overlooked Time Square. We were forty floors up, and the
shoppers, the businessmen, the tourists, they all looked as small as
insects. Broadway flashed up at me like disco ball. I was looking out at
the view when James wrapped his arm around my neck.

"Take a picture it'll last longer," he said.

"I will," I said back to him, a thought occurring to me.

   I snapped a picture of the New Year's ball and hit SEND PICTURE. I typed
in Derrick Chase.

"We should probably unpack," I said turning to James, "Just get it over
with..."

"Fuck that," he said pulling me by the arm, "Let's go walk around Time
Square."

   I smiled and raced him the the elevator.

   I know that real New Yorkers despise Times Square. I know that the whole
area is a Disneyfied, tourist quagmire. I know that it's nothing compared
to the rest of New York. HOWEVER, I was still blown away. The flashing
colors, the kaleidoscopic billboards, and the loud buzz of music did
anything but jade me. James and I walked aside the New York Times Tower,
and beneath its psychedelic Toshiba jumbotrons.

   The signs for Mamma Mia, the Lion King, and Phantom of the Opera seemed
to light up, even in the bright daytime. James walked in front of me and
pushed people out of the way, carving a pathway through the jungle of
pedestrians that clogged the arteries of Time Square. We were looking
around the Swatch Watch store when I felt my phone buzz.

Derrick Chase: IS THAT FROM YOUR HOTEL ROOM!?!?

   I smiled at my phone.

Me: yeahhhhhh :) James's parents are sorta loaded.

   I looked over at my friend who had reached into his pocket to pay for a
neon green watch.

Derrick Chase: Where are you now?

Me: shopping at Time Square. We have to go meet James's rents soon though.

Derrick Chase: Call me tonite. I wanna hear your voice.

   James was beside me now, and I quickly stored my phone in my jeans. I
turned to him, trying to be as nonchalant as possible.

"Let's head back before my mom freaks out," he said. It would be bad to
keep his parents waiting.

"Good idea," I smiled.

   I lead the way out of Swatch, and James followed behind me. We stopped
at the crosswalk, and waited for the light to change. The entire population
of the city seemed to close in around us.

"I'm really happy you came," he said pulling the back of my coat. His lips
curved upwards slightly. He looked almost sad.

"Huh?" I gave him a look.

"You know... I'm just happy you're here. It's gonna be a good time."

   I raised an eyebrow and laughed, pulling him by his jacket back to our
hotel.

*******************************************************

   Mr. and Mrs. Griffin were laughing pleasantly. It was evening, and the
four of us were eating dinner in the hotel's lobby.

"--the guy jumped right in front of him. I swear to God, that was the
loudest scream I have ever heard. Ry probably shattered a few windows."
James was saying while flashing me sparkling smile.

"He was dirty and gnarly looking. I mean it! I thought he was gonna shoot
me..."

   James was telling his parents about the homeless man who had scared me
that afternoon. I'm not afraid of bums, or anything like that, but when the
dude ran feverishly out of a dark alleyway right at me, I screamed. It was
a scream too, not a yell. A scream.

   The hotel's restaurant was as fancy as the rest of the hotel. I was
dressed in ash charcoal gray dress pants and a purple shirt. My eyes were a
dark navy with tendrils of electricity running through them. James was
dressed nice, but his brown hair was sloppy. He grinned playfully as he
jeered at me. I sipped on a now warm glass of water watching James and his
parents. It must be nice to have a mom AND a dad who love you.

"Well, your mom and I are going to turn in for the night. You guys are on
your own until dinner tomorrow." Mr. Griffin was bleary eyed and his cheeks
were rosy; a bottle of wine had made both of James's parents sleepy.

   Mrs. Griffin kissed her son lightly on the cheek and gave me a hug.

"We'll see you boys tomorrow at dinner," Mr. Griffin repeated as he
followed his wife to the elevators.

I turned to James,

"We should probably head up too. I'm tired as shit."

James looked up blearily, "No, no... Let's go out and--"

   The rest of what he was going to say was swallowed up by a huge yawn. I
cocked an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay."

   After James had dragged himself into the hotel room, I remembered
Derrick.

"Are you all good? I'm gonna go and call my mom. You good?"

James had already drifted to sleep.

   I picked up my room key and walked outside. I pressed the elevator
button and, while I waited, called the hottest boy at my high school. My
phone only rang once.

"I've been waiting for you all day," Derrick rasped from Ohio. I could see
him licking his lips.

   The sound of his voice made me shiver. It had been to long since I had
heard it. I could remember, so clearly, him whispering his feelings for me
into my ear on Christmas Eve; it seemed like a lifetime ago.

"I'm sorry! I've had the busiest day. It's not like I can call when I'm
with James." Did I sound to whiny? I didn't want to come off as some whiny
bitch.

"No. I know. It's just I wanted-- we just haven't talked... Am I being
needy? Holy shit, I'm being needy aren't I?"

I laughed, "I miss you. I've been missing you since Christmas. If anyone's
needy it's me."

"Stop that! I had something sexual to say, but I can't say it if we're
gonna be so serious!"

   The elevator hit the lobby, and I found my legs leading me out into the
city. It's hard to describe New York at night. People and cars and taxis
and buildings and skyscrapers and the lights. The lights! The sky said it
was night, but it was bright as day outside my hotel. The cool air was
heavy with the smells of cigarettes and the cheap perfume of theatre goers.
A couple was intertwined in the scarlet light of a Coca-Cola
sign. Everywhere I looked a hand held another hand inside of it. I stopped
walking.

"I'm in the most amazing city in the world right now. But I miss you. I
want you Derrick. The most beautiful place in the country is shit without
someone to share it with."

He was quiet for a moment.

"I-- I feel like we need to see each other. I can't say everything I want
to say over a stupid phone."

"I'll be back in a week. Can you wait?"

"I'd wait forever." I could hear him smiling.

"I'm happy I met you, Derrick."

"I'll talk to you soon-- in a week."

   I hung up just as a taxi whizzed past; gasoline never tasted so sweet.

TBC

Hi. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm forever and eternally sorry for
waiting this long to post again. I hate myself for taking this long. The
last time I wrote, I was in New York, then I had midterm exams, track
conditioning, and so much stupid shit. So I'm sorry, AGAIN. Please forgive
me :) The next chapter is almost done. I'll post it soon. Normally, I would
ask for emails, but I'm a bad person; I don't deserve your emails. HOWEVER,
if you feel like telling me what a shitty person I am,
pessimistsandoptimists@gmail.com is where I will read all of your scathing
hate mail. One more chapter in New York, than a Derrick + Ryan reunion!
Love you guys for not hating me <3