Date: Fri, 14 Aug 2015 15:55:38 -0400 From: JAMES HEADY Subject: a Safe Place--Chapter 4 A Safe Place By James Disclaimer This story deals with sexual as well as romantic situations between teenaged males. Should you be offended by such material, or if you're not of the legal age to read this type of story, then please find something else to read. Also remember to donate to Nifty so that these stories can remain free to the public. Caleb The knock sounded early that Wednesday evening. I asked who it was and it was Kevin. He said that he had Cody with him and I opened the door and Kevin hugged me, and Cody was trying to hug us both. "Okay," I said laughing. "Hang on, let's all get inside then we'll give hugs." Once the door was closed and locked, I hugged Kevin again, then Cody. He hugged me tightly, and we stood like that for a moment. "I'm glad you both were able to make it," I said. "Me too Caleb!" Cody said happily. "Where's Greyson and Daniel?" "They're at a friend's house for a few hours, so it's just you, Kevin, Nathan and I," I replied. Over the past few weeks, Greyson and Daniel were getting better at making friends and they were staying at their friend Aaron's house for a few hours that night to hang out and I used that time to invite my brother and his husband over for dinner and to get caught up on how everything is going for all of us. Dinner went well and we had good conversation all around. Cody was telling us about his next series of paintings he was creating. I could hear the smile in his voice when he talked about them. "They're Winter Paintings!" he said happily. "I know it's still Fall out, but it might as well be Winter." "Yeah, definitely," I replied. "I'll show them to you and describe them for you sometime if you want Caleb," he said. "I'd love that," I answered happily. "You can check them out too Nathan," Cody said turning to my husband. "I'd love that also," Nathan answered smiling at him. After we talked a little more, we eventually went to the living room and sat drinking wine. We talked a little longer, then eventually Kevin and Cody left after a wonderful and happy evening with us. Then after another hour passed once they left, our boys came home and talked with us about how much fun they had at Aaron's house. After they talked with us, our boys hugged and kissed us, then went off to bed. Once they closed the door to their room, I cuddled with Nathan on the couch and we talked for a bit about how happy we both are, then after giving him his massage, we went in our room and made love for a couple of hours then fell asleep in one another's arms. Life had never seemed so perfect! In the night, I awoke and needed to get something to drink. I eased myself out of bed and lightly kissed Nathan on the cheek and went in to the kitchen. I got a glass of apple cider and sat at the table drinking it. Once finished, I went back to bed and spooned my love again. I didn't go to sleep right away, but began thinking back to when he and I were kids and I remembered how close we were becoming, especially on that first weekend together. Chapter 3 Caleb Saturday morning dawned cool, but sunny. I could feel the sun coming through the windows even though they were covered with blinds. They were blinds that would let in a little light, but were dark enough so that we could sleep. I awoke and felt Nathan laying on his side, but facing me this time. He must have switched positions in his sleep at some point during the night, because he was lying draped across me. I could feel his smooth skin against mine. His stomach and chest were warm and felt so wonderful pressed against mine. I could also feel his erection pressing against mine and I wanted to thrust against him so badly. I wondered what he felt like down there; I wondered what he tasted like as well. My thoughts were interrupted when I felt Nathan shift, then he moaned softly and pressed his erection in to mine a couple of times, then he was waking up. "Good morning sweet love," I said in a girly-sounding voice. "Bitch," he said faking anger and lightly punching me on my arm. "That's not a pleasant way of waking up." "Aww," I said. "Poor baby. Would you rather I did this?" I moved my hand down to his inner thigh and tickled lightly. He began trying to get away from me and he was also laughing. "Okay!" he yelled laughing hard. "I'll let you have your joke, but only this time!" He laughed a moment longer, then he was hugging me. I held him for a moment, then we got up and used the restroom as well as taking care of brushing our teeth. After Nathan showered, I went in and did the same. Once the restroom duties were out of the way and us both dressed, I went out to buy breakfast for us from a small café that my family would get food from sometimes. On my walk, I enjoyed the thought of Nathan and I sleeping in one another's arms. I also thought about how he didn't pull away quickly when I was brushing my fingertips against his inner thigh. I hoped to do that again, but in a serious way very soon. Nathan I sat at the kitchen table drinking tea while waiting for Caleb to get back. I let him go so that I could have some time to think. I was happy that we had slept beside one another the night before, and also even more happy about the fact that we awoke in one another's arms. I also liked Caleb tickling my thigh the way he did. I also hoped that he'd do that in a more loving and sexy way at some point. I knew that I was in love with him and I figured that he was starting to feel the same way. Kevin I finished dressing after my shower and began my chores I had to do on Saturday mornings. I had to get the trash out, then sweep and mop the kitchen floors, then vacuum the rest of the house. I'd get up usually around 8:00 A.M. on the alternate Saturdays I'd do these chores. I didn't mind the work, as I'd have my music player on and music going through my ears as I'd do it. Thank God for Metal, both mainstream as well as extreme. I finished the last of the vacuuming and once I put the machine back in the closet, I heard my cell phone ring. I unclipped it from my belt and answered it. "Hello?" I said. "Kevin?" a voice said on the other end. "It's Christian, from school." "Oh hey Christian!" I said, actually happy to hear from him. "How are you doing today?" "I'm fine," he said. "And you?" "I'm doing good," I replied. "I just finished up some house work." "Cool," he said. "I actually finished up some myself. I have to clean the garage and sweep the floors of the house. Wouldn't want my dad getting pissed if I didn't do it." "Yeah," I agreed. "Anyway, I wanted to call and see if you wanted to have lunch today," he explained. "Yeah," that sounds good," I agreed. "Where would you like to eat?" He asked if we could eat at one of the small coffee shops that were close to where we ate Yesterday. I said that I'd enjoy that and we talked about how we'd get to one another. I told him that I'd pick him up if he wanted. He actually said that he could walk to my house if I told him where it was. I did and he said that he knew where it was since I gave him various landmarks. We said goodbye, then he ended the call. Christian I finished my call with Kevin and sat there for a moment. The hateful prick that was my father had left a couple of hours ago, but not before letting me know he'd be pissed if the chores weren't completed in the way he wanted them. I heard it all before, but I was getting sick of it. He also reminded me to make sure not to hang out with any guys who seemed to woman-like if I went out that day. That last part was getting harder and harder to deal with as well, as I was becoming more and more sure of my own feelings towards guys every day. It scared the Hell out of me and I knew that if my dad found out, there'd be Hell to pay. He began teaching me about how bad gays and lesbians were when I was seven. I didn't like when he did this, because he would always talk in a low and threatening tone of voice and he would give his lectures in a way of speaking that suggested that I did something wrong or that suggested that I might be gay myself. Truthfully, I knew that I liked boys as more than friends since I was eight years old and I hoped that in time, these attractions would go away, but they hadn't and they've only gotten stronger with puberty. I was discovering that it was getting harder and harder to run from these feelings and it would be only a matter of time before I would have to do something about them. No, I don't mean telling my father. That wasn't an option at all. Breaking my line of thought, I got up and put the cleaning stuff away and left the house after washing my hands. I walked along and I was thinking about Kevin. The night before I had thought about him and I got hard immediately. It scared me and I tried to think about other things, but the feelings got stronger and stronger until I took off my boxers, the only thing I sleep in and began stroking like there was no tomorrow. When I came, I was in tears like all the times I'd masturbate and think about guys while having my orgasm. I wasn't sure at the time if I'd ever get over that feeling. After getting my crying under control the night before, I then begged God for forgiveness like all the other times before that and I then fell in to a less than satisfying sleep. I pushed these thoughts out of my head and neared Kevin's house. I went up and knocked on the door. Kevin answered the door and he looked grate. I stood there looking at him for a moment and then I was able to regain the ability to speak. "Hi Kevin," I said. "Hey Christian," he said smiling. "I'm glad you could make it and that you offered to do this." "Me too," I said. Kevin Once seated at a table outside and waiting on our drink orders, we started talking. Christian asked what kind of music I like and I told him that I enjoy Metal in addition to other types of music, all except Wrap. "I fucking hate that shit," Christian said. "So do I," I said smiling. "Glad to see that you don't pull any punches with your thoughts on that." "No reason to be soft about it," he answered. "So who's your favorite Metal group?" "I like Nightwish really well," I replied. "I also like a lot of the Black Metal from Norway and some of the Death Metal coming out of Sweden. I think my favorite in the area of Black Metal is Dimmu Borgir, but most people would say that Dimmu are just sell-outs since they don't do the usual raw-sounding type of Black Metal." "Yeah," Christian began. "I hear that shit all the time. I don't really give a fuck though, if Dimmu is screaming about hating God and religion as well as including blast beats in their music, then they're still Black Metal. Of course there's Borknagar also from Norway who do more Progressive type of Metal, but still have blast beats and the raspy vocals usually associated with Black Metal. So I'm not clear what these people are doing calling Dimmu Borgir sell-outs." "I don't get it either," I responded. "What do you think of Epica? Do you like them?" "Yeah," Christian answered smiling. "Thank God they speak out about all this religion bullshit and that they're not afraid to speak their minds." "It sounds like you don't have much respect for religion," I said looking at him. "You mentioned Dimmu Borgir hating God and religion. Sounds like you have the same feelings, maybe even more than they do." "You definitely don't miss much," he responded smiling. "That's the first thing I noticed about you." "Thanks," I said. "I usually try to be as observant as I can be." "Cool," he replied. "No, I can't fucking stand organized religion. Just a bunch of fucking hypocrites jabbering and screeching away like a group of mental patients about some imaginary friend existing in some realm past the sky watching us. Fucking bullshit is all it is!" His hands began tightening up in to fists as he concluded his rant. I knew he was getting pissed and even though we were becoming friends, I knew that he still had rage issues with which he was living and that were far from being under control. "You sound like Christian, but that could easily be Richard Dawkins speaking through you," I said smiling, trying to get him calmed. It worked and he relaxed. He laughed and then smiled himself. "Sorry," he said. "I just get sick of these people who talk about God and love, then beat the shit out of their kids when they get home from church, then go back to church on Sunday and act like everything's fine. I know, not every Christian or religious person is like that, but I've met enough who act that way that I don't find many of the ones who practice what they preach." "Aside from my parents," I began. "I don't know too many who practice what they preach either. I know a few others outside my family who are religious and good, but not many." After we ate, we walked along one of the sidewalks and as we walked, we talked a little more. Christian told me a little about his family. He said that his mom left his dad when he was six and hadn't come back around since then. He only said that his dad worked in construction, but when I asked any further questions, he looked at me and the look on his face said that this wasn't a conversation he was enjoying, so I changed the subject. We talked about things we liked about school so far and the only thing he liked about it was Science and Health Class, but that was about it. As we walked along, the conversation began to slow a bit, then when we neared a bench, Christian said that he'd like to sit down. I sat down beside him and he seemed to be having trouble breathing. "Are you okay Christian?" I asked leaning towards him. "I feel like I can't catch my breath!" he said beginning to hyperventilate. I figured I'd try something that I was taught in therapy a couple of years ago when I was having the same symptoms. I leaned closer to him and had him look at me. "I want you to focus Christian," I began. Do you see the trees across from us?" We were sitting in the park at this point which was where the bench was located. He told me he did. "I can see them," he said. "Now look at the grass," I said. "I'm sure you can see some of the flowers there." "Yeah," he said looking hard at it. "Now look at the sky," I said. "It's blue and has no clouds in it today." This was true, it was a beautiful day out, but clearly not at that moment for him. He began to breathe slower and he then began to calm down a little more. Once he was calm, I held out my hand for him to take. He hesitantly took it and we sat like that for a moment. "What just happened?" I asked. "What scared you?" "I thought I was having a heart attack," he explained looking at me. "I don't think it was," I said showing him that I was sure. "You were probably having an anxiety attack. I have them rarely, but used to have them many times a couple of years ago. Have you been under stress about anything lately?" "I don't think so," he said looking down. I knew he was lying. Christian I sat there remembering the memories that suddenly flooded my consciousness when Kevin and I began walking after leaving the café. It had happened a couple of weeks ago, it was the first time that it had ever happened. I didn't think my father had it in him. I knew he could be cruel, but not like that. It had stayed away for a few days, the memories, but they clearly were back. Kevin I looked at Christian and his head was still down. He was still holding my hand though and I didn't know what would happen next. I just waited and then he looked up at me. "I wanted you to know that I really am sorry for how I treated you this week and part of Yesterday morning," he said close to tears. "Really," I said softly. "I accept your apology and I forgive you Christian. I want us to move past that. Okay?" "Okay," he agreed. He was crying now and when I hesitantly put an arm around him, he stiffened up for a moment, then relaxed. I put my other arm around him and just held him. He let go and was sobbing uncontrollably. I just held him and let him cry. "I can't believe I'm crying like this!" he sobbed. "Like some fucking little Bitch!" "You're not a Bitch," I said softly. "You're obviously going through a lot and you just need to get it out and I'll be here for you." After he stopped crying after a few minutes went by, I just sat with him continuing to hold him close. He just stayed like that, just lying in my embrace and he didn't seem to want to be apart from me any time soon. 0000 Ray, Christian's father stood several feet away in the bushes watching his son and whoever this little faggot was holding him close like the lovers they obviously were. He then saw the black-haired boy saying something to his son, but he was too far away to hear it. "You're not going to do this crap and live under my roof boy!" Ray thought to himself completely enraged now. His anger at Christian possibly being gay wasn't out of any true concern for something happening to Christian, but because he truly hated gays and tried to teach this dangerous ideology to the boy years ago, but it clearly hadn't worked. He could see the looks that the boy would give other boys walking past him. He saw it all along when he was with the boy walking some place when they'd be out doing stuff. Yes, he definitely saw it, but he made sure that Christian didn't know that he knew. He finally did let him know he knew a couple of weeks ago when Christian came home and was ignoring him when he tried to ask him if he had been with any other boys while he was out that day. When the boy refused to answer him, he definitely showed the little queer what happens when one ignores a man such as Ray Karnes. Kevin After we talked a little more, Christian said that he'd have to be heading home. I walked with him, then we neared my house. He said that he'd rather walk me to my house and that I could come over to his house another time. I knew intuitively that he didn't want me seeing his house for some reason. Once at the door, we hugged. Christian initiated the hug and I held on for a moment, then after we separated, I watched him walk away. Caleb I listened for, then heard the beep of the alarm and once my oven mits were on, I opened the oven door. I took out the baked potatoes, and Nathan moved to the stove once I moved out of his way to get the chicken breasts that were finishing up. We decided to surprise Amy. We had talked about it after we went out walking for a bit. Nathan liked the idea and we got on it once back at the house. That had been a couple of hours ago and it was now a little after 1:00 P.M. and it was finishing up really well. "I think she'll like this," I said. "So do I," Nathan agreed. I then heard Nathan's cellphone ring and he answered it. After the call was finished, he said that his mom would be home a little earlier than expected. "Is she still set on going out for lunch?" I asked. "She talked a little about it," he replied. "I just let her talk and I'm just going to show her what we did once she gets home." "Sounds good," I agreed. Eventually, I heard the key in the lock. Nathan went over and got the door opened and sat parked in the doorway and his mom was asking if he'd let her in. "You have to close your eyes first," he said. "Okay," she said laughing. "What is this though?" "You'll see," he said. He wheeled himself backwards and let her in to the kitchen. "Okay, now you can open them," he said. "You guys did all this?" she asked and I could hear in her voice the genuine happiness and love that we would be so thoughtful. "Yeah," Nathan said smiling. "We thought you could use the time just relaxing. "Thank you both!" she said excitedly. "This really means a lot!" Nathan excused himself for a moment to go and get something from another room. It was just Amy and I now. She sat across from where I was sitting and getting the chicken seasoned. "I really am happy you and Nathan did this," she said softly. "I'm also happy you've come in to his life. I really am, it's been really hard for him all these years and I hope he's found a true friend in you." "I'm going to be the best friend I can to him," I said. "I hope he and I can be close for a long time. He's been good to me also and I hope that it can always be this way,." Nathan came back and he had a bottle of wine and he set it in front of Amy. He set down a second bottle. "Sparkling cider," he explained for my benefit. "Obviously the wine is for my mom." "Thanks sweet heart," she said happily. Nathan uncorked it for her and then opened the cider for us. "To family and best friends," he said after our glasses were filled and the food was served. "To good food and to long-lasting friendships and to closeness of family," I said. We tapped glasses and began eating. Christian I got home and saw that my dad was in the living room in his recliner. There were three beer cans next to him and a fourth was in his hand. He looked like he was already on his way to being drunk and it wasn't even evening. "Where the hell have you been!" he yelled in a drunken voice that I never could tolerate hearing. "I've just been out," I said. "I got done what you asked me to do, then I went out walking for a bit." I wasn't going to tell him about my lunch with Kevin much less the time we spent in the park afterwards. "Don't fucking lie to me!" he yelled walking over to me and grabbing me by my shirt. I don't know what it was, but I finally had had enough of this Bastard and his abuse. Something in me snapped and I put up my fists and began raining blows on his face and on his jaw. He screamed and fell back. "You fucking faggot!" he roared. "I saw you and that other fag in the park earlier! Don't you fucking tell me you didn't do anything but just walk!" "How the hell could he know!" I thought in my head, then I thought of the bushes a little ways off from where Kevin and I had been sitting that day. The Bastard must have been spying on me right when I left the house. That's when fresh terror gripped me. If he followed me right when I left the house, then he knew where Kevin lived. "Yeah!" my dad said looking up at me. "I saw you that whole time. I know where that fag lives and if you spend any more time with him, I'll fuck him up real bad and make you watch." "Fuck you!" I screamed and kicked him as hard as I could in the balls. I thought that this would knock him out, but it enraged him further. He leaped up, knocked me to the ground and beat me several times. He then ripped off my clothes and moved me over. "No!" I screamed. "No you Bastard! Not again!" I felt pain explode in me as he began slamming in and out of me for the second time in a couple of weeks. The first time he did it when he lost patients with me ignoring his questions that one Saturday evening had been bad enough, but this was worse, much worse. After it was over, I lay there curled in a ball. He got up, dressed again, then left the house. I felt too hurt and drained to move, and I then passed out. Kevin Later that night, my dad and I went out for dinner. My mom had to check on several post-operative patients and would be gone for a few hours, and she said that she'd be getting something from the hospital or she'd go out in between patients and get something from the café we all liked. Alicia was staying with a couple of her friends for the weekend, so it was just my dad, mom and I for the weekend. Once seated at the table and waiting on our orders to be filled, My dad and I talked. I told him about Christian and how well things seemed to be working there, but I also told him about Christian's panic attack earlier that day. "Just be careful," my dad said. "That all sounds like PTSD and that can get out of control very quickly as I'm sure you know." "Yeah," I said. "I remember that, and that's what worries me." "Well, just keep an eye out for anything else," he said. "I'll do that," I said. "So how's everything else going so far?" he asked. "School's okay, but I'm still not meeting anyone new," I said. "Yeah, some of the old kids from last school year are there again this year, but they're not making friends with me and aside from Christian, none of the new kids are either." "I'm sure that's hard," my dad said looking at me and reaching across the table to hold my hand for a moment. "It's hard, but I'll be okay," I said. "Yeah," he said. "Just remember that you have Caleb, Alicia and both your mom and I who are all hear for you." "I'll remember that," I answered. "I always do." We finished up our meal then went walking as the sun went down in the sky. My dad and I always did this, walked along while the sunset was going on. We'd talk about everything from serious stuff to funny stuff, but it brought us closer. I walked along, then let my dad know I wanted to sit once I saw a bench. We sat for a while and I scooted close to him. "It isn't just the school stuff I have to worry about," I said as my dad put an arm around my shoulders. "Lately, I have the memories of what happened back before I turned 14. "I'm sure remembering all that is hard," my dad said. "But you have all of us here for you." "I know," I said as my tears began. "It's not just what was done to me at that time, but how I was dealing with everything leading up to that final time. How I hurt you and mom with what I said and the horrible things I said to Alicia and Caleb, and how I grabbed Caleb and,,,." My dad held me as I became too over-come with emotion and tears to continue. I had almost destroyed myself back then and could have drove away the only family I had known, the only family I had. Somehow, they're love for me kept them by my side and it was that same love that with other people who knew how to help me, that had saved me. "I know that was a horrible time for you Kevin," my dad said. "We were all scared by your behavior at that time, but we all see it and have been seeing it as the symptom that it was and not the problem. That Bastard was the one who was the problem. Had your mom and I stood our ground and not let him near you, none of this would have happened." After I calmed down, I just sat there leaning in to my dad's arms. We sat like that for a few minutes, then after I was alright again, we left to go home. Caleb Since we didn't have school on Monday since it was a holiday, our parents let me stay Sunday night as well with the promise that I'd be back Monday afternoon. I at least had an extra evening with Nathan. That Saturday evening, he, Amy and I did go out to dinner at one of their favorite restaurants. It was amazing, the service as well as the food. I really enjoyed talking with Nathan and Amy. It was a wonderful evening and once we got back home, I was definitely ready to relax and fall asleep. Once in bed, I held Nathan in my arms. He was facing me for now and he had his head resting against my chest. I rubbed his back up and down and rocked him gently. He let out a soft breath and looked up at me. "I love being here with you like this," he said softly. "I love it too," I replied. "It's the best thing ever." "Another thing that's the best is how good you feel against me," he said. "I love this closeness between us." "So do I," I answered. "Would you want to be close like this with anyone else?" he asked. "You mean any other boy?" I asked. "Yeah," he replied. "No," I said looking deep in to his eyes. "Not at all." "I'm sure we won't be able to be close like this once you get a girlfriend," he said looking away. I gently took his face in my hands and turned it back to look at me. He tried to turn away, but I held on gently, but firmly. "I don't remember saying that I'm interested in getting a girlfriend any time soon." "Not ever?" he asked. I thought for a second. I knew that if this conversation went any further, that I'd be essentially coming out to him, but I didn't care. "Not ever," I said. "There has to be someone who likes you, or that you like," he said smiling at me. "There might be many girls who like me or who think I'm cute," I said. "But there's only one person who's opinion of me matters." "What do you mean?" he asked as I moved my face closer to his. "No girl could ever make me feel like I feel right now," I said lowering my face to his. My lips were closer than ever to his and I spoke again. "I know there's some cute guys around the school, but even they can't make me feel what I'm feeling right now. Only one person can." Any reply or any other thing that Nathan could have said was stopped before he could say anything, as I pressed my lips to his. I held the kiss and was gently moving my lips on his and it only took a second and he was kissing back. I never felt like this before. I always figured I'd like kissing another boy and it was even better than I thought it could be. Nathan Bright and vibrant colors exploded in my field of vision and electricity ripped through my body as Caleb and I kissed and held one another. The kissing was wonderful and better than I could ever imagined it to be! I kissed back ravenously and we moved our erections together. Caleb I was in heaven as we kissed and thrust against one another. Aside from our boxers, we wore nothing. The feelings from our kissing and from the skin-to-skin contact were making me crazy with lust and I knew that Nathan was feeling it too. We kissed a few more times, then I gently broke the kiss. I held him for a moment and then kissed him once and softly on his cheek. "Caleb!" Nathan began. "That was'''!" "Amazing?" I finished for him. "Wonderful? Totally fucking hot?" I smiled as I said this last part and he was smiling as well. "Like nothing I've ever known!" he said excitedly. We kissed a couple of more times and then as I felt the day catch up with me, I yond widely, and Nathan did the same a moment later. We kissed once more, then relaxed in one another's arms to go to sleep. We both knew that there'd be plenty of time for talking in the days to come. Author's Notes I just had to get them to that moment. They'll not be having sex yet, but they'll have many makeout sessions that I'm sure everyone will find enjoyable. So take care and I'll see you all in Chapter Five.