Date: Mon, 09 Sep 2002 08:53:35 +0000
From: fellhere@hotmail.com
Subject: A story part 8

Ok. This took a rather long time, cuz I'm in the middle of my examinations
and I need to study too, and this is a form of release for me. Anyways, this
chapter had me experimenting with a new technique, and for those who love
Mike and Seth, yes. They finally made love. However, just however, the way I
wrote and expressed it is something which I found rather interesting and
appealing to me, so I would love to have your opinion on it too; if you
wanted a straight out description like the previous chapter, then do email
me to tell me. I may consider; it depends on my pornographically artistic
inclination on that particular day. Another thing. I am going on a darker
track for this story, and this may sound absurd and weird at first, but bear
with me. Skeletons have to be brought out and thrashed out completely before
I continue on the meat. But I digress. If you want something more light
hearted, once again, email me and I am more than happy to hear your views.
But note: I may not entertain everything that you say, cuz I think I do have
the creative licence in the end.

A story part 8

All rights reserved. Copyright.
Do not read on if you are 18 and below.
+This chapter contains implied sexual contact.+

===
'How have you been these few days?'
'Alright I guess.'
'Have you stopped hurting yourself already?'
'Yeah. Now that I found something positive to lean on.'
'I don't like that tone. Is it someone instead?'
'How'd you guess?'
'I know that tone... Anyways, tell me more about this someone.'
'This someone is nice, fun and totally cool. Someone I can talk to, someone
I know will relate to my problems and such.'
'Then you must learn to open up to this person, learn to talk and
communicate.'
He became frustrated. 'But I've tried, but everytime he seems to just enjoy
my physical presence.'
'Maybe just enjoy his presence?'
'I've tried. But I just can't help it. It's him who has stopped me from
hurting myself for the past 5 days, and I'm just afraid that he can't, that
he can't reciprocate.'
'But are you sure he's gay? And you may just be deluded.'
He scowled and started yelling. 'Firstly, I am not FUCKING deluded and I
know that he's gay because I think he is. And if he isn't, I'll make him see
it's me he wants.'
'Calm down. You're not curbing your anger.' The counselor said in an equally
stern voice.
'Fine. This session has been too long. I'll do as I please. Thanks.'
'Have a good day too. But remember, let things take its own course. Don't
force it.'

I tried to focus on the lesson while Mike had already given up, instead
falling blatantly asleep. Donen was being the usual hardworking lad that he
was, worked on the characterisation of Cordelia. I caught Mitch's eye and we
both laughed. It was a boring day, and this was the end of the day, so I
guess I was happy just about that. Today would be the day that I went over
to Mike's house to spend two unadulterated days with him by myself. My
parents knew about it only as a sleepover and let me go. My mother, in fact,
was rather fond of Mike, impressed by his manners. When the bell rang, I
told Mike to wait for me at the school gate since I had to go and see Mr.
Endel about my geography assignment.

As I passed the staff room, I saw Josh and waved at him. When he saw me, he
beamed and said hi back. I waited for him to come to me, and talked to him
basically about the weather, until I saw it.

'Josh, what is that?'
Attempting to cover up his wrists, he simply shrugged and went 'Cuts.'
'I know this Josh. These are not cuts. These are self inflicted. You're a
self injurer. You've got to stop this.'
'I haven't been doing this for the past few days already.' he whispered
softly.
'But why do you do this?'
Deciding that Mike had more time with me later, I decided to talk to Josh
instead.
'Wait for me at the garden. Be there in 5.'
He complied and I simply messaged Mike that I would be late and went to see
Mr. Endel.

By 2.55 I was there at the garden. He smiled when he saw me. I smiled back,
but immediately went on serious mode.
'Why do you do this Josh? It's not worth it and you can't express pain like
that?'
'Why not? It's the only way I feel alright with myself.'
'But if I know, you have an ok family and your grades are fine. Why the need
to channel any negative feelings to such an extremity?'
'That's not the point. I like the rush Seth. You know the rush you get. It's
cool. It's addictive and anytime I feel sad because of someone, I do it.'
I pondered for a while. 'Who's that someone you are talking about? It's not
alright for you to do this even though it happens. You've got to learn to
take things calmly, and rationally.'
'I want to, but I can't. You can't help me Seth. Just let me be.'
'I refuse. You're my friend. I'll help you. You wanna hike maybe say mon
afternoon?'
'Oh. That would be perfect. Yeah.'
'Alright, I have to go now, I have an appointment I've got to keep. See ya!'
'Yeah. See ya. I guess.'

When I reached Mike's house, he was nowhere to be found. However, when I
entered his room, I received the largest shock in my life. His bed was
draped in pure white bed linen and comforter and he had put on my favorite
vanilla scent and the room felt heavenly. It was only short of the romantic
cliche by the fact that he was playing instead Bjork's Pagan Poetry in the
room. When I closed the door behind me, I felt a pair of arms encircling me.

'Like it hon?'
'I love it babe. Perfect. Now what do you want from me?'
'I just want you.'
'But I stink.'
'I don't care. Here, let me-' He whispered across my neck and took off my
uniform. He already was only clothed in boxers.
Oh boy, this was gonna be one hell of a two day sleepover.

{He slides inside me, half awake half asleep,
when I wake up the second time in his arms,
Gorgeousness!
He's still inside me.
Who would have known that a boy like me-}

{I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him.
This time, I'm gonna keep him to myself.
He makes me want to hurt myself}

{These swirling black lilies totally ripe}

I woke up in his arms, totally satisfied and secure. It was a glow that
emanated across me, when we shared the moment, grew in the moment and
increased in the love we had for each other. It was a metaphoric moment,
that of bliss but something that could not be touched, defined or described.
When he gave it all up to me, when we were united, there it stood. Nothing
more, nothing less.

'Wake up babe. We've got to have dinner.'
'Nope-' He started kissing my neck again (And I thought he was asleep)
'I already had you. And I like the way we are now. Don't let go of me.'
'But babe, we really need to have dinner. I have plans with you for the
night you know. C'mon, for me babe.'
He lazily came up and dragged me along with it. 'For you babe. But I don't
want you away from me for the whole night. Tonight, you and I are doing
things together. You aren't gonna escape from it.'
'Whoever said I was?' As I was willingly dragged on by him into the
bathroom.

'I think Buffy is hot.'
'She is so not hot. I think Willow is hotter.'
'Buffy's got style, she's just a lesbian witch, that Willow is.'
'You are wrong. Willow is a funky lesbian witch for that matter. Buffy is
just this bimbotic, slayer kinda girl who sleeps with anyone she likes.'
'Whatever. By the way, whatever led to this horrible dissection of
superficial characters?'
Mike conveniently tugged up the comforters around us.
'You did, can we just enjoy the show without all this weird dissertations?
It's getting all literature-like.'
He reinforced his hug on me. 'Yeah. I'm just enjoying you.'
I rolled my eyes.
We had had dinner, and as typical boring people, we went back to his room,
turned on the TV, and watched shows around. It was a good night on TV:
Buffy, Angel, Charmed. All the good serials I loved. But Mike seemed to
enjoy the advertisements more: Since my attention wasn't on the TV, we were
both naked (Save for the boxers) and close to each other, well, and he being
extremely horny (Seemed that the afternoon's activity didn't satiate his
appetite) we made out. And this time, he had his left arm hugging my waist
and his right under my neck. He was lying on my shoulder blade and my left
arm too was under his waist, though not numb, since his bed was soft and
easily moulded into our shapes.

After two shows, Mike popped a really weird question.
'Would you mind if I told people about our relationship?'
'Well, I guess not. But you have gotta know that I ain't out to my parents
yet... So that may be a tricky problem.'
'Yeah, but you know, in school, I just wanna shout out to the world that I
love you. You know, make sure everyone stays away from my man.'
'Oh. So it all boils down to jealousy.'
He snuggled back into my neck.
'Yeah. You can say that. I hate the fact that every guy you meet seems to be
attracted to you. It's gross. You should only be mine.'
'And I am only yours babe. See, I'm here with you. And you are mine. You
just proved it this afternoon.' I kissed him lightly on his lips.
He looked like he was about to cry.

'I love you hon.'
'Love you too babe. Now, can we start watching Charmed?'

He and I decided to continue on a similar vein the next day, choosing
however, instead to spend a day out at the park. He showed me his moves on a
skateboard, moves which I never thought him possible to do. All I did was to
smile, laugh and read my book under the sun. Over there, we did meet some
school people: Mike greeted them and since they were HIS friends, all I
could do was to try to look as nonchalant and invisible as ever. But Mike
seemed bent on blending me in.
'So, all by yourself here?'
'Nah, am out here with Seth.'
'Huh? You mean the aloof kid? What's up with that?'
'Well, he's nice and cool and such, why not?'
'Oh well, whatever you say dude. Gotta go now. Bye'

Then he would turn around and smile at me. And I smiled back. Though a
little uncomfortably.

He was confident. I was not.


The two days went by too fast. The next mon when I reached school, Mike was
already there with the perfunctory hot lemon tea. He sent me to my homeroom,
then left for his. We were to meet later anyways, so I guess a half hour
distance from each other was perfectly fine. But when I reached the
homeroom, I saw Mitch talking to Josh, and went over there to sit with them.
I was sorta puzzled, since Josh was not in my homeroom. When he saw me, he
waved and Mitch absentmindedly waved a seat for me to sit on. As if I didn't
know about it.

I gazed immediately at his wrist, an involuntary action. He wore a wristband
across it, and from the look of it, he had self-injured himself again during
the weekend. I gave him a questioning look, and he looked back guiltily.
Only when Mitch left us did I try to place a guilt trip on him. 'Why are you
doing this again?' He looked away from me. 'Why?' He just looked away. I was
more than pissed off. If there was one thing I didn't like about people, it
would be the fact that they liked to self injure in order to gain some sort
of satisfaction. I didn't discriminate against them, but the hurt they
inflicted on others who actually cared for them was also great.

It just wasn't right.

'You know what, I just can't be bothered by you.'
'No! Don't! I mean, I did it because I was sad on the weekend.'
'Why were you sad?'
'It's, it's just that someone I, erm... well, I dunno. This someone cheated
on me.'
'What? You mean you have a girlfriend who cheated on you?'
'Well, somethin like that. I felt cheated. I felt sad. So I did it, I
guess.' He whispered out the last words.
I sighed. This was gonna be a long recovery. Before I left, he simply looked
at me and said somethin so intense that I became bent on helping me.

'Seth, please, please don't abandon me. I need help. Please.'

I met Mike in the hallway through break and when he met me, he simply put an
arm around me and walked me along like that, with practically everyone in
the hallway looking at us. They didn't exactly ogle or somethin, but Mike
seemed to relish the closeness. I shrugged and as we closed the bend into
the stairway, the moment he closed the door, his hands were all over me.

'MIKE!'
'What?'
'Are you insane babe? This is a public place. We could get caught.'
'But I want you so bad.'
'Whatever made you so horny? Here's a peck. That's all you'll get.' I smiled
and kissed him, and then went back out. He came up after a while and pouted,
but when he whispered 'You will be mine later.' I knew it was all alright.

'Hey.'
'Hey. Endel isn't here yet?'
'Yeah. So, what's up with you. Didn't see you at James's party the night
before.'
'I was busy doing some stuff at home.'
'Yeah, something so important that made you abandon us.'
'Ow... Brit. Don't be like that. You know I ain't that kind. Fine. I'll
exclusively go out with you today for lunch k?'
'Yeah! That would be so phat! I won't mind. Billy Bombers?'
'Whatever you want gurl.'
'Gurl?'
'Yeah, why?'
'You always called me babe.'
'Er... oh well. I changed. Is there anything wrong with that?'
'Nothing. Come here. BIG HUG!'
Then she just hugged me and planted a huge sloppy kiss on my cheek. You just
gotta love Brit.

But then when I came out of the embrace, turned and looked at the entrance,
I saw Mike looking at me with a totally devastated look.

Uh-oh.

He simply walked towards me, croaked out a 'These are your notes. Bye.' and
left the room, and from the looks of it, he was going to the toilet to cry
his eyes out. I know that look. It was not good. Endel could go to fucking
hell for all I care. I immediately followed him down the hallway and truly,
he went into the bathroom. Making sure it was empty, I locked the door and
went to find Mike.

'Are you alright?'
'Leave me alone.'
'What? Brit and I are just good friends.'
'But you guys were kissing!'
'She kissed me on the cheek, and she does it all the time.'
His eyes bugged out. 'All the time!!!!!!'
'Yeah. Is there anything wrong?'
'Well, the fact that she kissed you! That's wrong!'
'It means nothing Mike! Why are you making such a huge fuss out of it!'
'Cuz I love you. And I don't want anyone touching you or anything.'
'But you can't control me like this Mike! This isn't love. You know what,
I'm just gonna leave you here. I love you. But this isn't the way it's
supposed to go.'
I was crying, and I went to the door to unlock it. But before I did, he had
encircled me and didn't let go.
'I'm so sorry... I'm like this. Forgive me hon... I love you so much... I
just don't wanna lose you...'
I was whispering. 'I love you too. But you gotta learn babe...'
'I will. Please. Don't leave you.'
I kissed his forehead; we were both on the floor, and he was in my arms. 'I
never did. And never will.'
We stayed that way until our emotions were sorted out, then unlocked the
door and went back to our lessons. When Brit was there, she asked me why I
was late. Even Mr. Endel was questioning me. 'I had a bad tummyache.' Being
on good terms with Mr. Endel, he let me off with that, and Brit didn't seem
to convinced, but she took it anyways.

Boy, days are long these days.


'You're in love with Mike ain't you?'
'What?? What?? Eh?'
'Don't lie Seth. I know it. It's in your eyes and his too. Just don't lie.
And what with today's event. Puh-lease. I don't need lies here.'
I looked down at my feet and tried to think of an excuse to tell Brit. But
being in the middle of olio dome and the only partner I had was her, well,
it was kinda hard. So I tried my best to deny it once again.
'Nope. I don't think you're right.'
She looked at me, reached out and took my hand and looked me in the eye.
'Honey, I don't have anything against gays and I don't think you are gay per
se. You just like Mike. And I think you and Mike are cool. And from the
signs I'm seeing, well you guys are sure as hell together.'
I looked at her. I couldn't deny it, but I didn't want to admit it. But I
had to. But whether Mike would agree to it would be another thing
altogether. Before I knew it, Brit immediately assuaged my fears, but let
another fear come in.
'Don't worry. Mike told me about it already.'
'What!'
'Yeah. I pestered him tll he told me. You could call him and ask him. But
it's real. But I love you still honey. Now eat.'

My mouth opened and stuck out like a gold fish. Boy was I pissed. If he told
her, how many others did he tell?
[You told Brit about us.]
[Yeah I did. I'm sorry hon. But she knew, and she doesn't seem pissed or
anything.]
[So, how many others did you tell?]
[No one. I swear. Don't be angry at me. Please... Hon... I love you.]
I didn't reply.
I didn't go back to his house and Brit sensed my prissiness, choosing to
leave me alone after lunch. I went back home and tried to concentrate on my
work. Mike came up by 6. I didn't see him, but he made his presence clear
when he hugged me from behind. I tried to shrug him off, but he was
definitely the more athletic one. 'Don't do this to me. Please.' I could
feel his tears soaking my shirt, but I wanted to stay angry at him. But I
couldn't.

He heaved me up and put me on the bed and laid on top of me. 'Please forgive
me hon. I love you. Please?' I hit him on the shoulder then snuggled into
him. 'I hate it. I always give in to you.' 'That's because you're my
boyfriend.' I smiled.

We had really weird quarrels.