Admire Me 2


Chapter 9.  Retribution


I played my role. I did what I said I was going to do. Monday I went to the principal's office pretending to be frightened and threatened by Missy. The principal listened to my side of the story and seemed convinced, but that wasn't enough for me.

I took my cell phone out of my pocket. Then I played the recording from it, letting the principal hear what Missy said when she was thrown into the pool.


Recording: [You're dead, you hear me, dead! I'm going to blow you up! The school will explode when I'm done with you!]


The principal's face dropped. Suddenly the principal began moving swiftly taking extreme actions. The first bell hadn't even rung, and she was making an announcement.

My plan was coming together full fold. Missy was going down in the worse way. She will never recover from this sabotage.  

Everyone had to evacuate immediately. It was a perfect start to a Monday morning. Even the people who were arriving from cars, and buses were told not to enter the building. Instead, all students were escorted to the football stadium until further notice.

Fearing a bomb threat the principal made calls to the police and the bomb squad. There were dogs sniffing lockers, police cars surrounding the school parking lot. People were in a buzz in the football stadium, wondering what was going on? Who was threatening our school?

All I could think of was how I rescued these kids from a boring Monday of classes, while also putting Missy in harms way. My plan was working well. Missy was suspected of having a bomb or bringing one. I could hear word passing from one mouth to another. It was starting to sound as if everyone thought she was losing her mind.

Missy was escorted off the campus by the police after they violated her a hundred times checking her for any form of a bomb or switch or anything she could trigger. They made her empty her purse and ruffled through her hair. When they found her clean, she still wasn't allowed on campus. The police drove her away in their cars.

It was amazing to know, no one could do anything. Not even her girl plastics. Hannah, Sarah, and Andrea were at the stadium seeming a little out of words. They looked like pink lost puppies. I guess they taught who not to mess with.

Missy was punished by the school later that day. Thanks to me and my tactics of revenge, she earned herself suspension. She was not allowed back on school property for the rest of her 12th grade year. (So much for graduation) She was to go to an alternative school from now on.

Jade, Mitch, and C.J. were the only ones who knew I was behind Missy's suspension. I did everything so great. My plan went through better than planned.

Now I was going to reign with no interruption. Missy even landed a picture in the city newspaper for making bomb threats against the school.

She was no longer `Miss popular.' Oh no, I had stolen everything from her. I took her down, and stole her power. Her girls are just nothing without her in front of them. It's safe to say, the best way to slay a giant, is to cut off the head first. That was exactly what I did to the girl plastics. Without their alpha, they were powerless mice.

Everyone was a gasp at how a teen-dream could go from popular to terrorist in one day... but anything is possible when you have Braylon as an enemy, anything.

People may never understand the trouble Missy has been. What she put me through in seventh grade. What all she did this year. How she tried to steal my power, how she tried to steal my boyfriend for her friend, how she called the police on my brother's party to shut it down, when she took my lunch table, how she had Jade's car towed, when she had the school to fill out surveys. It was a complete disaster. She was always one step in front of me, I could barely attack.

Over time and during that time, my rage built and built. Something wanted to lash out but didn't know how or where. I had not calculated what was going to happen next. Every blow she threw left me staggering and trying to pick up pieces. Now that it is my turn to strike, it was sure to be a potent and lethal sting. My venom had grew in abundance for an opening and now that I have retaliated there will be no cure, or recovery. I had suffered enough. It was my turn to cause misery and pain.

It may seem like I'm finished destroying Missy but I still had more for her. I had to make sure the damage was completely done. I had to be sure when I was finished she was left with nothing to come back with. I succeeded in chopping off the head of the girl plastics.

Now I'll take the rest of the targets down easily.

When I walked down the halls of school all week with Jade and Korbyn as my flanks the students seems to eyeball us with mounting fear. I don't know if signs were showing or if they were figuring out I might have did those things to Missy or what. Everyone was sucking up to me. They were getting worse by the day. Everyone wanted to be on my good side, everyone wanted to steer clear of me.

It only meant one thing: They respected me as their alpha. I was the only alpha, and I gladly accepted my crown.

Yes, Korbyn was back in the ranks. It was something that took me a while to consider but once I gave him a chance to explain what happened at the party it was convincing.

He told me that he saw Sarah writing in a diary. He tried to steal it on several occasions but didn't get to. He thought since Andrea liked him he would use her crush as a boost to get into the party and get close to Sarah's diary.

It was a load of bull to me. It wasn't going to work. I started organizing ideas to ruin Korbyn for his malicious betrayal. He knew I wasn't believing him, so after a few more tries of trying to get me to bite his line he gave up.

He went into his bag and presented me with a pink diary decorated with pink hearts. It had a golden lock that sealed the pages together, but luckily the key was dangling there too.

I instantly stopped plotting on Korbyn and let him rejoin the clique. His story checked out, and he came through. I'm glad he was able to get us more information. It allowed me to plan more destruction.

I thought he was my ultimate betrayer. I thought he turned on me. It was a relief to my feelings, to my heart, to know he had my back through it all.

When he handed me the diary. I was no longer concerned about the diary anymore, I just embraced him right there.

We were in the middle of the hall right in front of the lockers. People didn't matter. I had to show Korbyn some kind of genuine affection. After what I said about him in my mind I felt slightly guilty.

He grabbed me tightly. Hugging me.

"I can't believe you thought I betrayed you." He said in my ear.

He didn't back stab me. He was doing undercover, double agent work. His proof was in my hands. There was no denying he had my back.

"I-I-..." I didn't know what to say. I wanted to apologize but I couldn't do that. It would make me look too weak. I had the right to be suspicious. So I won't apologize for being cautious.

"It's fine." He let go of the hug.

When I felt his arms dropped I wondered if I should have apologized. Then I began to stare at his green eyes. Looking at his silver lined braces, his spikey blond hair his slender body. I found myself really wanting him again. After finding out his loyalty was never in question I felt like my heart wanted to gravitate back his direction.

I had to slap myself mentally. `He broke up with you remember? Let him come on to your first. Plus think about Mitch.'

Hearing Mitch's name called in my head was eye opening, but at the same time, Mitch and I weren't yet an item so I still had decisions to make.

During my classes I picked up Sarah's diary and started to read it like a best selling novel. Korbyn had already read the thing and highlighted the juicy details we could use to sabotage their clique with.

He really did his homework. Now when I think about his face when I left the party, I feel bad. I understand why he looked the way he did when he saw me leave with Mitch.

Speaking of Mitch, I still have to think about which one of these two I want. I still don't know yet. I can't juggle them forever.

When I got bored again in class, I unlocked Sarah's diary opening up her darkest secrets.

La,la,la boring, boring... boring. Let's see...

Ooooh here is something Korbyn highlighted:

Dear diary,

Do you recall when I told you about my new doggy? Well today I imagined her as my crush. Hannah! It was a brilliant idea. I actually though Hannah was in my bed. It was kind of strange but all I did was add peanut butter to my private and let my (Hannah) lick away.



EWWW! What the FREAK! Sarah is a lesbian?? I can't believe this! On top of that she likes Hannah! The doggy stuff was gross but it is harsh dirt that can be aired to the students. Good job Korbyn.

Next highlighted section:


Hannah came over. I tried to talk her into staying the night but she wouldn't. I hope she isn't getting suspicious. Do you think she knows? Oh, guess what? She totally touched my hand! I wanted to kiss her but I didn't want to make the wrong move. So instead I pop a piece of gum. I was just so nervous and the gum settles me everytime when I'm near a cute girl. Hannah sometimes let me touch her delicate bleach blond hair. I have never felt anything so soft. Everything about her makes me feel weird in a good way.


Wow this girl has an obsession for Hannah. I wonder does Hannah know?... If not, it's about time she found out... and the rest of the world. See, had she played nice, I would have accepted her as a part of the gay family... but no. She tried calling Jade a fag and look at her.

The month only grew more chaotic and more out of whack. (For the girl plastics that is)

It started off with me handing Sarah's diary over to Jade.  It was only fair. I couldn't hog all the glory. I had already downed the alpha. I left it up to Jade to dish Sarah's information the way he chose best. Being the big gossiper he is, I am sure she was as good as dead.

          Ever since I handed him the diary he had been face first in it. Reading, laughing, and making jokes at how she confessed her feelings for Hannah. Jade couldn't find the time to stop. The juicy information he was getting was a lot to take in.

Let's not forget about: Andrea, Andrea, Andrea.

She was the one who started this all. I hope she didn't think she was getting off the hook. I bet she thought she was forgotten about.

For my next plan of action I talked to Mitch who talked to C.J. Who snuck illegal drugs into her purse. When I got the text that C.J. had successfully put the drugs in place, without getting caught, I sent Jade the text to finish Andrea off for good.

I figured if I went to the principal's office about the drug issue, I would look suspicious. So I sent Jade to tell the Principal Andrea was involved with drug activity on campus. It was hilarious.

Can you say Adios Andrea? She was immediately dealt with by the school, her parents, and was kicked out. She was possibly facing juvy time. Who knows and who cares.

All I know is: She was in a grave amount of trouble. She couldn't come back to our school and rightfully so. She tried hitting on my boyfriend. She bit into my cupcake, and sat at my table. Andrea had it coming.

Korbyn finally got rid of the silver necklace Andrea gave him. Not because she was gone weirdly, but it was other reasons. He finally revealed he only kept the necklace to upset me on Valentines Day because I was getting gifts from strangers(Mitch). But since it was all in the past, and we were trying to start fresh he threw it away.

It felt good to know he got rid of that skanks cheap necklace. It didn't fit his style anyway.

People at the school quietly witnessed the girl plastics disappearing. Across from my table, there sat only two girl plastics. Sarah, and Hannah. There was a method to everything I concocted in my schemes. There was a specific reason behind my getting rid of Missy and Andrea.

One of them was cut short when Jade got all the data he needed. He created a Youtube channel where everyday he would upload a new video of him reading out Sarah's secrets to the camera. Jade messed Sarah over badly. He sent the link of the videos to people's Facebooks and Twitters. All month long she was being degraded by her own peers. By the very people she thought held her in such good light, trashed her name.

I guess Hannah was one of the video viewers. (Which is what I was hoping for.) She probably recognized the heart decorations on the diary and flipped out. She probably didn't want Sarah anywhere around her. This only left Hannah alone at the girl plastic table. It wasn't looking good for their clique at all. If you could call it that.

I doubt Sarah could hold her head up in public. She couldn't even go to the store because people's parents knew, and families knew. The world was in the know. When Jade gets your information and you are his enemy you are done. So much for her insulting his communication and beta skills, because she fell victim to them.

The more girl plastics I ruined, the meaner I got. The meaner I was, the more Mitch seemed to be attracted.  I thought he would think I was crazy by now, or even sick, but something about my vengeance turned him on.

He started making a habit of calling me every night. He said, `he wanted to hear my voice.' On those nights he bragged to me: "My boo did this and my boo did that." He was proud of me. This was making him so excited.

I really didn't know what to make of Mitch but if he liked it, I loved it.

In other matters, Jade told me he was talking to a mystery guy. Before I could guess he told me it wasn't C.J.

I liked C.J. and Jade together. I guess Jade was moving on.

What I couldn't believe was Mitch telling me he was getting his own apartment. He told me I was welcome anytime when he gets it. He kept pushing the issue with us. It brought back memories of last semester. How he wanted us to live together, and go to college together. He wanted to give me a copy of the key to his home so I can let myself in. Mitch was trying to get me this time. His dream of us being together and living together was no game.

First before going too deep into my emotional life, or getting involved with anyone. I had to bury Missy with one major blow.

 I blackmailed Hannah into sending Missy a message from me. All I wanted Missy to do was make a public apology video on Youtube and at the end she had to say, `Braylon is the true alpha. He wears the crown I don't.'

It was a lovely idea because three days later Missy's video of an apology went viral. This was a victory for the A-list. The video I had her to make was proof for everyone to see what I am capable of and why I am the one true alpha.



"Did you receive the copies of the movie yet?" I asked him deviously while we laid on Jade's comforter.

He hugged me tightly, "Yes. They are ready to be dished out whenever you are ready." He kissed me on the forehead.

"Good. Tomorrow everybody gets a free copy." I sneered, hugging him back. The both of us laying in Jade's bed staring at the ceiling cuddled into each other's body. He was my Hollister model no matter what we endured. He always came through more than he should. With the diaries and with this movie especially.

"Let me ask you something," Korbyn's green eyes where slightly open, from feeling relaxed while next to me. "Do you think Missy and her girls have suffered enough?"

Oh gosh here we go.

I don't know why it's my wrath that is always thrown into question. Missy did so much I don't ever think she will pay fully. I still owed here from middle school, plus this year.

"Listen, my plan is to socially cripple Missy. I want this to be terrible. I want her life to be miserable." I spoke proudly and full of vindication. My breathing became rapid. "She has to pay in the worse way. I have to make sure this is a life long victory not a small win. I can't afford to let her climb her way back to the top and challenge me again. Plus, I had to make a statement to anyone else who wants to take a stand against me for my popularity crown. I won't have it! It is a great injustice and everyone has to know that I reign supreme."

"Makes sense I guess." Korbyn muttered through his braces. I don't know why but he seemed as if something other than my wrathful ways was bothering him.

The movies we had made copies of was the guy in the fraternity who happens to be Korbyn's cousin. It so happens, that Korbyn's cousin had helped with my final plan. He had sex with Missy and recorded it. We made copies of this video burned it on DVDs. Now I was going to use these to show her how powerful, and how dark falling into the hands of a living alpha can be.

When I am done she will never try what she did again. Some people have to be kicked while they are down. To keep them down and to remind them if they get back up, something worse will come their way.

My brilliant `Free DVD give away was a success.' Everyone's complete thinking pattern altered about Missy when they saw the DVD. I gave out the DVDs to whoever wanted to see a good girl gone rouge. I put them in mailboxes, and lockers. I didn't want to see the movie myself. let's just say it wasn't my thing if it isn't two guys... sorry.

It was just like she violated our treaty. I violated the blackmail terms and agreements. I told Hannah if Missy didn't make the apology video, I would release the video of her and the frat boy. Even though she held her side of the deal I released the video anyway. I don't know what it is, I haven't been feeling too generous towards her.

 What kind of person am I? Well that was answered a long time ago. It's the principle of my morals that must not be messed with, because I will go as far as I can to make sure someone pays for trying it.

This had gone beyond revenge. I had already exacted revenge. It was the retribution that wouldn't end. If revenge is the answer, retaliation is a must, and retribution is closure.



The girl plastics table was empty from that day forward. No one had heard a trace from them. Hannah being the sole survivor had left the building after a deal went south. There table was deserted for a while until dorks started to fill in their seats.

All the students in the high school were back to treating me like this big time famous star. They were on me like the paparazzi. My life was their energy. It was like everyone wanted a signature or something. Too bad I didn't want any of these losers with my name on anything they owned.

Through the fame and comments I had other problems to deal with. I had a decision to make; Whether I wanted to be with Korbyn or Mitch... or something totally new to get away from all the old drama.

God knows I could use something new. I fought in social world war III. Maybe something new was what I needed... who knows.  

The last time we got together as a group we held a meeting at Jade's house. This time we wanted a new atmosphere and Korbyn took up the opportunity to let us hold it at his extravagant home.

It was our first meeting at his house, but it was amazing. We watched movies together and drank smoothies the whole time. Jade was spending plenty of time talking on the phone with his new mystery guy. He was barely able to get off his phone to watch anything and have fun with us.

However, he did find time to make a toast to the continuation of the A-list and to yours truly (me) of course. After hearing his toast I was derailed from celebrating for a moment.

"To many more years to come, we are, and always will be, the A-list."

Many more years to come? Was getting to me. I suddenly was having a realization that his statement may not be true. He brought to my attention, that at the closing of this year we should grab ahold of our favorite moments of the entire high school experience because once we graduate we may never see our days in school again.

I thought about the road I came down to get this far. The path taken to achieve such high stats and credibility in the popular world. The conniving things I did to maintain my power, the lives I ruined, the throne I possessed, the destruction and remodeling of my clique, my guy interests, Missy breaking our social treaty, and me rising above all of my obstacles. These were my good days and bad days the year kept flashing before me.

There were so many times, and things I was going to miss at high school. I know when it is over, it's over. I will have to go elsewhere carrying my alpha legacy. Meeting new people perhaps. Destroying my way, and ripping heads off to get back at the top of the food chain.

I came a long way down a road, but I still think I have a long way to go.

In that moment the elegance of decoration in Korbyn's living room were not that intriguing anymore. The vases, the glass ornaments weren't quality because a realization set in on me.

I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss high school. The more I thought, the harder it was to hold my emotions in.

Korbyn may have noticed a thick awkward quietness in the house after the toast. He probably didn't know exactly what was on my mind but he knew something.

"Hey lets say we take this outside." Korbyn's braces glinted. His green eyes trying to get everyone on the same page of happiness.

"What do you mean?" I answered lazily.

"Oh just a swim around in the pool. Come on." He eagerly said waving me and Jade over.

I'm glad he asked us to swim around, because I was on the brink of tears.

Korbyn gave Jade and I some of his bored shorts. (Good thing I was on my diet otherwise I don't know if I would fit these.) After he warmed the pool we all stepped in having a dip into the blue.

I rested my back on the edge of the poolside. I put my elbows behind me so that they leveled me in the water. It was a night with a black starlit sky. The pools edge was cold against my back, the wind was drifting throwing early signs of summer through the air.

The three of us began talking about the beginning of last semester up until now. It was almost déjà vu at work. Being in a pool was how it started. It was when I first heard the mention of Korbyn's name.

We chatted about Korby's arrival. How he entered the group, how he hated me, how David stole Keylan's girlfriend. It ranged from several highlights that changed the friendship and enemy lines among us all. Like me spilling my drink at lunch, me breaking away from the clique... all the schemes we pulled out of the bag to destroy people.

It was so beautiful. It was almost like a story...

One thing I knew from my social war with Missy, my brother Jason was wrong. I hadn't met my match after all. There was never going to be a match for me.

My thoughts left my head. I decided to enjoy the rippling cool, light blue water against my caramel skin to concentrate on the present.

Korbyn splashed from under the water as he rose from the pool bottom breaking the surface. Causing water to splutter everywhere on my shoulders, and face.

He giggled playfully, "What are you thinking about?" his hair was slippery and yet smooth sticking to his forehead and face.

"Nothing, just..." I couldn't finish. He knew something was bothering me.

"I tried to scare you." He said explaining his abrupt splashing to the surface.

"It worked." I said, still leaning against the edge of the pool.

Then a kick from his legs, he thrust toward me, pressing his floating body into mine. Trapping me against the wall with his abdomen touching so close to mine that it tickled.  

Slowly his dark green eyes were fixated into mine. Our hearts began to recognize each other's. Soon they were both starting to beat in the same rhythm.

He leaned his head in kissing me.

I kissed him back.

I don't know what came over me but if I had to take a wild guess I think it was the `realization' of graduating soon.

When Korbyn release his binding lip lock I heard Jade on the side giving a small laugh.

Korbyn took advantage of the night, his next words were unpredictable. "Will you be with me... again?"

"Yes." I replied like it was a reflex. I wanted to hit myself for not thinking. I really didn't think my choices over. What was wrong with me? My feelings were reckless around him right now.

"My turn." Jade glided through the pool his eyes were excited. I don't know what he was thinking. Maybe he didn't like my answer to Korbyn's question. I couldn't blame him either.

Jade was in front of me now. He was staring at me as if he wanted to say a million right things but didn't have one word down.

"Your turn?" Korbyn grimaced.

"Yeah, you kissed him. Now I get to." Jade quickly said.

"What happened to your mystery guy?" I questioned feeling the warming of his body heat under the water.

"Oh, him." Jade's skin twinkled from the droplets, contrasting with his black hair, his smile was so white, his eyes were light brown bouncing off the pool. His shirtless body was a huge complement in itself. He did look great. "You know the clique comes first."

"Really?" was my response. I didn't know what else to say but it sounded like Jade had forgotten about the guy that fast.

"Well... you come first Bray." I could hear and feel his heart rate picking up. It wasn't in rhythm with mine like Korbyn's was. His heart was bouncing all over the place. Like it was going crazy.

"I believe you Jade." He started to gaze at my lips. Staring softly like he wanted something more. He roamed his eyes to my nose, then he finally made eye contact.

"You know I can't do what I want without your permission." He said, telling me why he was holding back. He was intimidated to disappoint me. He aimed to please.

With a smirk I took a breath giving him a stare like I owned him. (which I did) "Your permission has been granted."

He didn't know if I was playing or if I was serious. His arms flung back and forth to stay afloat as he stared at me for a sign.

Nervously his body drew closer. He was timidly against me. There was so much Jade could have said but his silence was almost telepathic. It wasn't about what he wanted to say, but what he wanted to show.

With a fast dip he pecked me. It was like he was still unsure of if I was joking with him. He was scared of being turned down.

There was a rushing into me. Jade took me away when he kissed me wetly with a meaningful force. Our lips met in the middle not wanting to let go. His full lips writhed for mine, begged for mine. He held so much passion I couldn't hold mine back either. He was bringing something buried out of me.

There was a lapse in time where I couldn't breathe. He desperately wrapped his arms around my neck to break any small space that was between us. I kept kissing him erratically rubbing my hands on the back of his head, gliding down his spine.

He must have loved it because I heard a small moan. He was wrapped into my every cell. Jade had electricity sparking through our linking lips. It was so strong, his emotions were coming through into me... shocking me.

He moaned again, giving a light pant.

He stopped kissing me. Just to hold on to me for a minute. Then he let go as if he wanted to leave or if he was getting shy again.

I grabbed him by his jaw with one hand. Holding it tight.

I stared into his eyes in a domineering way and brought my mouth to his. He just floated there in the water his arms around my back.

He was giving me the control I wanted. He was letting me take charge like any beta would. His lips barely moved, his wet lips were soft and sensual on every contact I made.

Our bodies started to get physically active. I grabbed his butt, squeezing hard. He opened his mouth wide for me.

He wanted more.

I sucked on his bottom lip ferociously. I went into sticking my tongue into his mouth were his tongue met mine and they wriggled needing each other's licks, needing each other's moisture and taste.

"Hey! HEY – Whoa!" Korbyn broke us up. "Enough already. God!" A bit of jealousy was detected in his tone.

Jade shook his head coming to his senses. Licking his lips and wiping the corners of his mouth was all he could do. The seduction of the beta was addictive. He knew giving in to me was always best.

"Sorry." Jade spoke in pieces like he couldn't think right. "I-I-I don't know what came over me. I tried to be brief." Before moving away from my body Jade gave me a drunk glare, as if to say, `We are not done. Please control me. I'm at your will. Do what you want to me.'

Korbyn said nothing else. I'm sure he didn't see the look in Jade's eyes because he gave me a comfortable smile resting his back on the pool wall next to mine.

That's how we were, side by side. He politely tried to get me to star gaze with him. He begged in the cutest of all cute ways until I was holding his hand under water pointing at the white and blue brilliant mini spheres of light.

So many of them splayed over the sheet of shady night sky.

"That one reminds of someone." I followed his finger to a white glowing star that casted its own light. "That star's name has to be Braylon." he laughed for a moment. "I can tell by its dazzling prettiness and how it can't help but out shine the other stars."

It was a feeling of warmth that swam inside of me this time.



 After the night under the stars, in the pool Korbyn treated me with a compassionate care. It was so much compassion I thought he was attempting to take Jade's position as beta.

With the drama, social wars, and Missy out of the way he had more time to learn more about me. In the beginning I had to remind Korbyn of my likes and dislikes now he has a mental check list of everything. Surprisingly there hasn't been one thing I have had to get on to him about.

This was true. This is what I called a real relationship.

Mitch called me during the night. Sometimes right after, or while I was on the phone with Korbyn. One night Mitch called me:

"What's up boo? What is my boo up to?" He zestfully greeted.

I liked the attention Mitch gave. It was an terrible truth I had to let him in on. I don't know how he would take knowing I couldn't be his `Boo' anymore. I'm with Korbyn now. A guy my heart refused to let up on. The boy my heart skipped a couple of beats for when Ryan and Keylan introduced him to me.

"Hey Mitch... I have something I want to tell you." I said nervously. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing.

"What boo? You can tell me anything." I could hear his deep tone cutting into a sexy smile.

Oooh that title has to go. I'm Korbyn's baby. Not Mitch's boo. Being his `boo' isn't a bad thing but I'm really into Korbyn.

"Um... yeah..." I started reconstructing my words. "I can't have that title you gave me."

"Why?" He said in a depressed way. "You already tired of it?"

"No, it's not that."

"Oh let me try to guess. You are dating that weak blond headed stick bug?"

He was right.

"Yes, but I didn't want to hurt you with my decision..."

"Did you really think about this?" Mitch asked almost swallowing his pain to talk.


Before I could utter an excuse Mitch said, "It's cool, its fine, don't worry about it." He had a calm scary tone. I wanted to know what he was thinking. "I won't let that stop me. Last time I let it break me down into depression. This time I'm staying beside you through this until we can be together."

He still had hints of a broken heart in his throat. He tried to shield himself but I could hear what he didn't want me to hear. His optimism was crushed I could tell.

"I understand Mitch." I tried to soothe him. "It was a hard decision. I wouldn't want you to give up especially if it meant going to jail and getting wrapped up in the wrong things."

He was silent.

Just holding the phone.

"Boo... sorry, sorry, my bad. I mean, Braylon." It sort of made me feel guilty hearing him correct my title. "I don't get why you gave him a second chance? When you never gave me one. I don't get it."

"Oh." Was all I could think of. It wasn't a good answer, it wasn't even a real answer. I did give Korbyn a second chance without thinking, but Mitch was still waiting for his second chance. "I don't know, I guess because he is around more." My sentence was a stab in the dark. I didn't know what to tell Mitch.

"Okay, so I need to be around more?" He was already trying. He was still lost in this whole emotion disastrous rollercoaster but he was trying to keep a sane heart.

"It would help." I lied not know what else to tell him.

There was more silence on his side.

"I just keep thinking about how we met, how we came together it was a connection out of nowhere." He was speaking like he lost something so valuable. Someone he might never have. "I don't know why, but something inside of me keeps saying we are meant to be... I can't let go of you Braylon."

"Aww Mitch-"

"You don't have to reply." His deep voice was cracking like he was about to cry. "I have something I want to give you at school. I will put in your locker."

Mitch tried to pretend like he could handle seeing me with Korbyn. He appeared to everyone his normal self but I could see beyond the exterior. Ever since we had that phone conversation his indigo eyes were never the same.

Although he did keep his word. He gave me something he promised weeks ago in my locker. I didn't know if I would ever use it though.



I still hadn't figured out who Jade was talking to. He promised to show me when the time presented itself. I took his word on it. I know the guy had to have some flare to get Jade. He was my best friend and he deserved the best.

Sometimes the kiss we shared at Korbyn's pool hazed in my mind. The feeling he gave me was so strong. Buried deep inside of my soul Jade gave another feeling to me. I couldn't quite figure out why everytime we kissed or had an accidental touch of intimacy something about him lingered.

I may know one day.  

Mitch was coming around more. He started coming over to my house hanging out with my brother Jason again. I know he was coming over to be closer to me without actually being close.

He would come in talk to my mom, Jason as usual, and sometimes he would use the bathroom just so he could pass by my room.

It was his own greeting to stick his head in my doorway mouthing a silent "what's up?" to check on me. Then he would go into Jason's room before anyone saw him. My mom sad to hear about Mitch down fall a few months ago. How he went to jail.

She always bragged about how respectful he was to her. He was like a son to her, he even went to the store and picked up items for her. It reminded me of what I thought of Mitch. My mom seemed to be developing a crush on him. If that was the case she would have to back up, because Mitch was like an ex to me.

If only Jason and my mom knew what I've been through with Mitch they would lose their minds.

My new and improved boyfriend Korbyn behavior toward me was better than before. He was overly sweet and overly good. He was proving that we weren't friends anymore. That our relationship was to be cherished and held highly.

He pulled out a chair for me to sit down. When he picked me up in his car, he would open the passengers door for me. I couldn't complain about his generosity at the same time I knew something wasn't adding up.

On some of our dates I would catch him staring off like he did that day when I was trying on my new pants at the mall.

Tonight he took me to Jack-n-the-box. He wore the Versace shades I gave him on Valentine's day. He picked a quick table everything was sincere and genuine. It was turning out to be a respectable evening.

The table we occupied mysteriously silenced. No words were passed between us. His green eyes stared around at nothing particular.

Nothing was said when we went to order our food. Nothing was said while we ate. It was getting weird. What was up with him? He wasn't affectionate. He was lost in another state of mind.

I didn't know if he was full from the burgers, the tacos, or the salad. He had entranced himself. I snapped my fingers three times to get him to focus on me.

The other people scattered at tables were talking and enjoying their jumbo jacks with curly fries. My table seemed to be the only one with no talking. It bothered me to see Korbyn like this.

What was he thinking?

The rest of our date went by quietly. It was neat but we could have communicated when Korbyn dropped me off at home.

He got out of the car, running over to my side of the car to open the door. When he let me out the face he wore looked exactly like the one he had on the night he knocked on my window.

Hanging his head down still not talking, then he laid his eyes on me. His face was stone, and his eyes were gleaming with some kind of hidden sadness.

"I know I was quiet tonight." He said sounding sort of disappointed at himself. "I wasn't trying to be. I had a lot to think about."

"You had me nervous for a minute. I thought you were probably having second thoughts about taking me out." I said folding my arms.

"It's nothing like that." He confirmed fiddling with his car keys. "Just... just, something ." he took a sigh ruffling his golden spikes with his hand. "Thoughts about myself."

"Tell me about them. We can talk them over together." I told him trying to make contact, a connection for him to open up.

"I will tell you. Just not yet." He let out sighing heavy. "Do me a favor."


"Listen to my favorite song tonight. I want you to have memories of us see how far we have come." He said in a mumble.

"Okay." I didn't question him although I should have.

He kissed me goodnight. He left after hearing me agree. I wonder what did this song have to do with anything he was thinking about. We have come a long way, and we have a long way to go.

"Sublime- Santeria" was the song.

I waited until I was comfy in my bed sheets before listening to the song. What was Korbyn trying to tell me? What did he want me to see? What was he not telling me?

In the instance of hearing the song. I had memories of our relationship. It was all there. Everything in vivid crisp images. I held back tears of joy as the rims of my eyes burned to release them.

 What was Korbyn wanting me to see? What was his reason for zoning out all semester? Why was he spending much time in our past?

There were too many questions and things on his side not being said.



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