I rubbed my eyes and tired to wipe away my tears. The cheap fabric of my uniform had become wet and a bit transparent, showing my pale skin. His feet drew closer to my feet slowly rubbing it. I whispered, "Nothing."
The sunlight didn't last long, so even in that late afternoon, the sky was already pitch dark. My basement felt so gloomy without the lights turned on. Adrien insisted on turning the lights, but I begged him not to. I didn't want him to see the turmoil in my face. I wanted to apologize to Matt for what I said. I do LOVE him, very much...but it's not the kind of love he wanted. I wanted to sneak back in Matt's place again and beg for forgiveness, but from what he told me earlier...I'd be just wasting my time.
What really frightened me is that...when he said 'I love you'...something had been planted in me. It wasn't really big, but it was like something kicked inside me, which I just realized when he said those three words. I'm scared. What if...this 'feeling' will start to get hold of me. I might start cheating on Adrien, whom I love the most. I was scared to death when he even thought that I was cheating with Matt. I don't want to lose Matt and I don't want to screw up with Adrien. He's so...perfect. Whatever he does always soothes me. Even right now just hugging me and singing "I Will Be There" by D-Cru calmed me down. I felt him kissing me everywhere on my neck slowly working his way up to my right ear. Then he whispered, "I love you."
Those three words, they're so simple to say, but they mean so much to everyone who hears themI had rejected Matt's love. What was the alternative? Say I love you to him and pretend to be the person who Matt wants me to be? I can't.
Adrien's breath rushed down my cheeks as he slowly nibbled my cheeks tenderly. His hands made slow moving patterns on my chest. My nipples suddenly became erect and I felt something getting harder and hotter resting on my back. He whispered again, "I said I love you Eric."
My hand suddenly felt his hand grabbing it caressing it with his thumb. He kissed it and that's when I realized that Adrien had been kissing me all this time. I turned around and stared at him straight in his eyes. His captivating blue eyes made this quick blue shine that made him look like he's never been hurt. His unfixed brown hair seemed to be longer, but nonetheless it made him look more innocent...in a way. My fingers reached their way up to his lips and touched them gently. "I know you do Adrien, I love you too...more than ever."
He smiled and leaned towards to me to kiss me. I met him midway feeling his soft eager lips on mine I felt no remorse that I was kissing him even though I should be out there trying to find ways to apologize to Matt. The moment my lips touched his, I felt so...so light. Like all my problems went away with a simple kiss.
His arms wrapped around me and I groaned when my tongue slowly worked its way through his inviting lips. His tongue fought mine and he let out a heave when my arms slowly crept around him to hug and pull him closer to me. My head stopped working and the brain down there controlled me. I kissed him...harder now giving him the signal that I wanted him bad. My body needed him, and he got the message. He pushed me down to the bed to get on top of me. He looked straight at me in the eyes. Even with the room pitch black, I could see the sparkle in his eyes.
As always, we got interrupted. It wasn't the phone...or the doorbell, or the knocking on the door, which is always locked whenever I'm in my bedroom. It was...I guess the real me that felt bad about Matt. I stopped and covered his lips with my hand to stop him from going any further. "I can't do this."
He jumped off the bed, and he turned the lights on. I saw his brown eyebrows slanted and his bottom jaw thrust forward, which always tells me that something was wrong. He grabbed a chair and put it right beside the bed and sat down. "Okay what's wrong? It's weird of you to act like this you know!"
His voice deepened with anger and his eyes were dead serious about this. The sparkle in his eyes had been replace by concern, and it made me quiver with guilt. Still I said, "Look, I'm just not feeling too well lately. Can I just be alone for tonight? I'd really appreciate it."
He slapped his hands on his lap and bit his lip before standing up and putting on his socks, pants, shirt and his jacket.Grabbing the hat from the floor, he said a bit in a harsh tone, "Alright, if that's how you want to play it, fine!"
"Look I just feel like you don't need to know alright?" I said. He didn't say anything. He put his hat on and rearranged it to his desire on the mirror. He turned around and walked towards and me. He kissed me on the forehead. He sighed. "Look, I understand. Just call me when you need me all right? I'll be home thinking of you. I love you."
This is why I'm glad to have Adrien. He always tries to understand and tries everything to make me feel better. I smiled and hugged him around his waist. "This is why I love you Adrien. Now get your ass off of my property!"
He smiled and brushed my head before leaving my house. I lay there unable to find something to resolve this! I'm sorry Matt...I do love you, but I don't love you that away...no...Matt I'm sorry, I do like you but...NO! I got up and quickly dressed in whatever clothing that was close by and darted out of the house. It was an unbearable night. It had started raining as soon as I got out of the house. Covering myself with only my measly jacket, I hurried down where I was planning to go. It wasn't really far away and since our neighborhood was filled with trees I really didn't get that wet. I knocked on the door waiting for someone to open it. Quickly, in my mind, I jumbled up words that would at least sound right for an apology. The thunder crashed and created a loud boom that turned on some of the car's alarm systems. Faintly, I heard someone unlocking the door quickly.
The door opened and Annie was standing there pulling the door open wide for me. She looked like she had been crying for quite awhile now. I went inside and kneeled down to look at her. Sweetly, I said, "Annie, don't ever open the door by yourself you hear? It's dangerous. The boogieman might be knockin' on your door! Let the grown ups do alright?"
"Matt didn't want to open the door, n' mommy isn't here Eric. So I opened it n' here you are!" she said smiling. Then she looked away and she looked like she was about to cry again. "What's wrong?"
She pointed up the stairs where Matt's closed door was clearly visible from downstairs. She looked at me with a sad puppy face and she quietly said, "Matt's n' there and I heard him cryin' and things fallin' n' the ground and I knocked but he didn't answer n' I screamed when he threw something at the door."
I smiled trying to cheer her up. "Don't worry kiddo! I'll take care of him! Cross my heart and hope todie!"
She giggled and she ran back to the living room when she heard the Pokemon music playing on the music channel. Slowly I walked up the stairs trying to figure out what I should say to him. My heart pumped like crazy and my hands were tingling from fear. Calmly and as lightly as I could, I tapped his door waiting for his response. Nothing. I tapped again this time a bit louder for him to hear. No one answered.
"M-Matt...it's me...Eric...Can I come in? Just for awhile?" I said, trying to sound like my mother whenever she wants to talk to me about bad situations. His bed squeaked and quickly the door opened. His bedroom lights were also unlit. Matt stayed in the dark trying to hide away from the lights outside his bedroom. I walked in and almost fell down, tripping on one of his pillows on the ground. Luckily, his arms reached forward and held me before my head slammed down on the wood floor.
My night vision started to react and I saw his silhouette figure going around the bed to lie down. I felt him breathing hard as I slowly took off my shoes and got up to the bed to sit beside him. "I'm sorry."
"Is that it?" he asked rudely. I whispered, "No, that's not it. Look, I really messed up when you said...those words to me. I meant to say...what I meant to say...is..."
Ugh, I couldn't say it! The words were there in my mouth! I wanted it to come out so bad to end everything...everything! But I just couldn't! My gut didn't want to, like part of me is saying to go and tell him, but the MAJOR part of me is telling me that he's in too much pain now and I should wait longer so maybe...maybe...he'll get over me or maybe he'll find someone. I felt him getting closer to me for affection and for the answer he'd been waiting for. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. It was like I became mute or something. He asked calmly now, "What did you really mean anyway. Please just tell me Eric. I want to know how you feel."
He was holding my hand now and I could sense the tears on his face without even touching him. He sniffed as I coughed trying to say what I'd been meaning to say and almost every part of me wanted to say it now. Suddenly, a blot of lightning lit the room for about 3 seconds showed Matt's face. The left side of his lip and the skin around it had a black smudge. Out of curiosity, I touched his left lip and he jerked moaning from pain. I quickly turned the lights on and saw dried blood from the left side of his lip down to the left side of his cheek. His left eye was so red that it looked like blood coated his eye. He hid his face away quickly with his hands and turned around trying not to let me see it. I asked, almost yelling, "Oh god, what happened?!"
"I-It's nothing," he said in a harsh tone. I forced him to turn around and asked again, "I said what happened?! Jesus! Oh god! Hold on, oh god! I'll be right back! Don't touch it! It might get infected!"
My mind raced as fast as my legs were moving down the stairs to the kitchen. I grabbed some ice shoved it into a cheap see through plastic bag that you get from the grocery stores. I ran back to his bedroom. He was sitting there on the edge of the bed looking gloomier than before. Broken glass and materials were scattered on the floor. The glass globe that stood above his TV, the single item he cherished the most since it was a gift from his dad that past away a long time ago, was on the floor broken into 5 big pieces. I stopped right in front of him and knelt down. His hazel eyes shook as he looked forward to see me. His arms were crossed like he was cold or something. Carefully, I placed the plastic bag on the left side of his face where there were more bruises. He yelped in pain but he slowly relaxed and held the plastic bag on his face without me helping. "T-thank you."
I didn't reply, but instead I went to the washroom and took maybe half of the toilet paper that was left and soaked it with warm water. When I returned, he was leaning his back on the headboard just staring down towards his smooth hairless legs. From the look on his face he seemed consumed in the billions of thoughts that were running through his head. I know I was too. I sat down on the bed and I slowly removed the blood on his face. He kept groaning and moaning from pain but I still kept on stroking the tissue on his face as gently as I could.
"Tell me...what happened?" I asked trying not to look him straight in his eyes. I thought he wasn't going to bother answering me since he didn't say anything afterwards. I kept on checking for any signs of more bruises and stuff until he said, "YOU happened. It's all your fault."
Shocked as I was when he had said that, I almost teared up again. I looked down at his blue shirt, which was also stained with blood. My vision became more blurred with every second that passed by. I didn't know why but tears started running down my cheeks before I said, "I'm really sorry you know."
He didn't say anything and he acted like he didn't even hear me. I didn't care. I knew his silence was telling me that I DESERVED to be treated this way for hurting him. I know I deserved it. The last thing I would ever do is to hurt someone and here I am hurting one of my closest and dearest friends. Suddenly, he dropped the plastic bag on the bed and his left hand reached forward to touch my face. His cold thumb wiped the tears away from my right cheek and he sat straight up looking at me. His right hand reached forward and removed the tears away from the other side. I still gazed down on his shirt while my vision remained blurred from tears that kept on coming and coming like the rainstorm outside. "M-Matt, I'm really, really sorry! I didn't mean to hurt anyone! Especially not you! I didn't mean to I…."
"Shhh! Calm down, calm down," he said, and I could tell he said it WITH meaning because it sounded so sweet and calm. I cried a bit louder this time. I couldn't help it. Once the tears start, you just can't stop them. I lunged forward at him and he made a huff sound when my arms wrapped around him and my face buried deep down on his blue shirt. I held him tight as I could, never wanting to let him go, and in return, so did he. I cried and let it all out while Matt rocked me back and forth comforting me as best as he could. The weirdest thing happened that completely, COMPLETELY shocked both of us that night. He kissed me. He kissed me on the forehead so sweetly and tenderly. It was only the beginning.
My head slowly turned up to look at a kiss aimed at my nose. His eyes were closed but he knew that he kissed me on the nose. He smiled removing the tears off my face. Everything suddenly just stopped. Panic ran through me. He started kissing me everywhere; on my cheeks, my eyebrows, forehead, everywhere except on the lips. I groaned and the thought of Adrien popped up in my head and I tried to stop him from kissing me anymore but my whole body and soul let him do whatever he wanted to me. I felt bad. Now, I felt like I was cheating both of these guys. He whispered, shaking as he kissed me, yet not on the lips yet. "E-ric. I, I want to say this to you again. N-no hold backs or anything, no more running away, no more crying because of regretting that I said it...Eric...I love you. I love you Eric. Everything...everything in me is shouting out that I do and I can't resist it anymore. The day that I met you, the only thing that was on my mind was you. I...I want to be with you. So...please...please Eric...give me a chance...please?"
Holy shit, oh my god! I was speechless. His mind, body and heart were actually pouring out to me! I screamed in my head but I couldn't say anything! I was really really stuck now since he REALLY meant it! Oh man, this is gonna be harder than I thought it would be! His facial expression didn't change, but teardrops ran down his beautiful cheeks. He didn't wait for answer. He kissed me on the lips. It wasn't a peck or a kiss that told me that he was shaking from nervousness, but this kiss was long and meaningful. It was the first kiss that I ever had from any boy other than Adrien. Tremendous sparks ran through my face muscles when I felt his warm, soft, pink lips connect with mine. This kiss, it was so...so breath taking! His lips were as smooth as silk and they was so soft like...well...it was REALLY soft! While he kissed me over and over again on my lips, my heart beat so fast that the whole room started to get hot and humid. I tried to imagine Adrien kissing me, but the way Matt kissed me, I couldn't help it now. Adrien was erased from my mind and Matt took his place. He was definitely giving me a hard on! There's no doubt about that! The way he groaned, and the sound of his lungs puffing and heaving was definitely putting my libido into overdrive. Adrien is supposed to be the one and only guy who is allowed kiss me. I tried to stop it but the more I resisted, the more my body longed for more kisses from Matt. Unknowingly, his tongue managed to work its way in my mouth. My body tensed and shook from nervousness. He's soooo good! The way his tongue felt and tasted in my mouth, it tasted WAY different from Adrien's but in a way...it tasted as good as his. And he was good! I mean, a guy who has no experience whatsoever french kisses me perfectly even though it's his first, total cosmic! He groaned a little from pain since his lips were kinda beat up. His head pushed his lips a little closer to explore further in my mouth. His hands met with mine and we held on to each other as we kissed endlessly. His hands were sweaty, but I didn't care 'cuz mine were too.
He pulled back from my lips, but before I could even count a second, his lips found their way to my neck where no man or woman except for Adrien had ever gone before. He gently pushed me down the bed while I whimpered and groaned from the pure ecstasy he was giving me by sucking my neck. By the time he found my two pink nipples hiding inside the white shirt I was wearing, I got the hint that he wanted to go EVEN further. I could feel my face getting moist from sweat and I tried to keep the groans and the moans to myself while he licked and bit my nipples lightly with his tongue. His hands wandered over every inch of my body, from my ears, armpits, down to my navel where he concentrated a lot...and then...and then...down there. I held my breath as he tucked his hand inside my pants slowly and when his long slender fingers touched my erected head inside, all the air inside my lungs escaped. My groans were so loud that he had to cover my mouth with his hand to shut me up. I grabbed his approaching hand and started sucking each and every single finger back and forth leaving saliva trails around his fingers. Truthfully, I didn't even know what I was doing! I never did this to Adrien before! But he did like it...a lot! I could tell by his facial expressions and his body movement. With only one hand free, he slowly pushed the zipper down on my fly exposing the bulge in my briefs. His hand slowly pushed and pulled my underwear down to finally expose what he was eager to see. My dick thrust upwards quickly and shook each time my heart beat. He held it with his right hand and his head lowered down to examine it more. His tongue lashed out and licked the mushroom-like head. My toes tingled and my eyes closed hard when I felt the texture of his tongue flickering around my member! I was way beyond bliss now! He caressed my dick with his tongue while I sucked his fingers harder and harder. Then, like a kid, he engulfed my member like a big lollipop and his lips brushed my pubic hair. As his burning mouth sucked my cock all I could do was squeeze my eyes shut even though they were already closed. I screamed in my head and yelled in ecstasy! He started bobbing up and down until I finally couldn't take it anymore.
"Oh god, Matt!!!" I yelled. Before I could cum, he replaced his mouth with his hand and took away the finger away from my mouth and replaced it with his tongue. He kissed me as I exploded in his hand. Cum splattered everywhere, on the front of his front shirt and on my white shirt too. I kissed him for all I was worth and my hand pulled his head closer to me. My cum spurted more and more while he jacked me off even harder and faster this time making my dick pulse so hard that it hurt.
"Yah!!! What are doin'?!"
As soon as I heard the voice, I quickly pushed his head away. I almost screamed from fear and surprise that someone had caught us in the act! Both our heads turned to face where the voice was coming from. There was Annie standing by the door...WIDE OPEN!! Even in the dark, I could see her eyes twitching and shaking from what she was seeing. Quickly, I hid my worked out dick back inside my briefs while Matt took himself away from me. He yelled like a madman, "ANNIE! Go back to your bedroom you hear!!"
"W-what are you doing to him?" she asked almost as if she was about to cry again. She wasn't looking at Matt but she was looking directly at me! She saw it! She saw me kissing Matt and God knows what other things she saw! I gazed at her and opened my mouth but Matt cried again, "ANNIE GET OUT!!!"
She started crying again and ran back to her bedroom. Matt got up and went to the door to close it and made sure that it was locked. My head started to work again. 'What are you doing to him?' her voice replayed in my mind...what are you doing. What am I doing?! Regrets, and every possible feeling crept back tenfold in my mind. What am I doing?! Why was I letting Matt do this to me?! Oh god, what would Adrien think if he finds out!
Billions of dilemmas started pouring into my mind again and again, and no matter what explanation I had, there's always another that would come out. Matt came back to the bed and his hand reached out to touch my face. My hand automatically slapped his hand away as I looked at him in fear. His smile faded then he asked worriedly, "Did I do something wrong? I'm completely sorry about Annie! Don't worry, my parent's aren't going to listen to her stupid fairy tales."
"I-I gotta go..." I said as I tried to get off the bed. He followed me and asked me what was wrong but I didn't answer him. While I put my shoes back on, Matt covered the main door and asked, "Eric! Tell me what's wrong!"
"Matt, please! Step away from the door!" I told him gazing away trying to avoid eye contact. His arms tried to reach out and hug me when he noticed my tears trickling down my face again but I pushed him away. I opened the door quickly and ran outside into the pouring rain and ran like hell back home. Thank god Matt didn't follow me! I was afraid that Adrien might see me with Matt following me. The moment I got on my bed, I crawled into a ball and cried myself all through the night. The phone kept on ringing but I let the answering machine answer it. Oh god! How could I do this to Adrien? How could I do this to Matt? I hated myself so much for kissing and even letting him 'touch' me all over my body! I felt like the innocent me is now gone and I felt like a total whore, fucking someone whenever I get the opportunity. Jesus, and I thought this was going to be a truthful relationship.