Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 13:20:39 -0800 (PST) From: Evan Bradely Subject: Chapter 40 of "Ambush" The following fictional story deals with sex among males. If you are offended by such material, are too young, or reside in an area where it is not allowed, depart. Though not observed in this story, care enough about yourself and humankind to practice safe sex. The author retains all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the author's consent. EvanBradley33@Yahoo.com Chapter 40 Tough Questions After the Friday evening Morgan Pizza Feast, Troy had nudged Drew toward the kitchen, telling him to make himself useful, drawing a baneful look in response. Troy was pleased with his plans: Drew was becoming aware of expectations he needed to fulfill to become a model big brother. When the three other Morgan brothers returned home, Drew would have taken steps to become a worthy stand-in for Troy. Troy's plans had a simple focus: Drew was the Morgan sibling most like their father, Roy - well, not like him but inclined toward his unconscious assumptions. Troy wanted to reverse that orientation. Just as he'd insisted that Drew help Emily Morgan, their mother, bring in the sacks of groceries the day before, he was now insisting that Drew break his usual behavioral pattern. If nothing else, Troy could broaden Drew's perspectives, helping him understand that he wasn't demeaning himself if he looked out for others and pitched in to help - even in a kitchen. Evan, Susan and Drew had cleaned up the kitchen just as guests began arriving for the Movie Marathon honoring Troy's brothers. First it was Burt Graham and Jonah Stedman, who'd brought Greg Dunwoodie and Denton Cooper with them. Earlier that day, Troy had realized that it would be a good occasion to integrate Jonah with some older high school students who would start looking out for him when Robert Martin wasn't around. And it was a ready- made opportunity to begin to build on Burt's connection with them and his reorientation to school. When Burt had finally tracked Denton Cooper down, he'd learned about Denton's making a friend on his own - Greg Dunwoodie. Burt had insisted that he and Jonah pick up Denton and Greg on the way to Troy's gathering. Characteristically, Denton was wary about showing up uninvited, but Greg assured him that, after having spent nearly an entire school year in Evan Halsey's class, he knew Evan wouldn't mind. In fact, Greg had boasted, "Wanna bet me that Evan comes right over when he sees me and hugs me?" Denton thought a moment. 'Once this Evan guy sees me, a stranger, he won't be so friendly. Besides, he's a teacher. Teachers don't like me. For once I can beat Greg at something.' "How much do you want to bet?" he asked Greg. "Going to a Templeton basketball game with me," Greg answered. Denton considered the cost only a few seconds. "Okay, but what do I get if I win?" "You name some place you want me to go with you." "You're on." Burt was so glad when Denton told him about his new friend Greg. He saw it as one more hedge against Denton's remaining a dropout. He smiled at Denton's stepping out of his shy stance to strike up an acquaintance with a stranger. He also wanted to observe these two more closely. It was a duo he couldn't imagine after Denton told him Greg was gay. But he immediately recognized, even if Denton didn't, that Denton eventually followed Greg in just about everything. This Greg looked like another good influence in Denton's life. Burt didn't want to lose Denton as a buddy, and he wanted something good to happen for the guy. He was glad to discover an ally in Greg. It was also a plus that Greg knew a lot of Templeton students that all of them had recently met. True to Greg's prediction, as soon as Evan saw him, he walked over and hugged Greg, welcoming him to the evening's festivities. Greg turned to Denton. "I win. You owe me, Denton." Greg introduced Evan to Denton. What was the bet?" Evan asked Denton. "That you would hug Greg as soon as you saw him," Denton replied, smiling shyly. Evan chuckled, observing, "This circle of friends is so close that betting someone hugs someone else is easy money. I hope I didn't cost you too much." "Naw. I just have to go with Greg to your high school's basketball game." Evan smiled. "Sounds to me like you won too." Troy walked over, hugging first Burt, who initially pulled back only slightly, but then moved into the hug. The Troy introduced Burt to Evan, who greeted him warmly. Jonah needed no coaxing for a hug from Troy. Troy hugged Greg, greeting him warmly, squeezing the back of his neck with his hand, making him promise that he'd stop being a stranger. Even though he sensed Denton was shy, Troy hugged him too, feeling Denton stiffen but not pull away. When they stepped away from each other, Denton had a goofy grin on his face. He was no longer fighting any of the attention or ready acceptance he was receiving. It was so unusual. He wasn't used to it. Made him feel the way he did after he'd downed his first bottle of beer as a youth. Jeremy and Kenny took their turns at greeting the guests, but as Kenny stepped back from Jonah, he placed his hand on Jonah's shoulder and squeezed. He wanted Jonah to know that he really WAS welcome in the group. They greeted Greg profusely, glad to see him coming out of his shell. And they made certain that Denton knew that they welcomed him to their midst as well. After introductions, Jeremy sat in an easy chair, inviting the others to do so, but Kenny flopped down at Jeremy's feet, leaning up against Jeremy's leg. When Burt sat down in a chair, Jonah imitated Kenny, leaning up against Burt's leg, earning a startled look from Burt and Denton. Immediately thinking he'd gone too far, Jonah started to roll forward away from Burt, but Burt quickly placed his hand on Jonah, pulling him back, giving him a reassuring smile. "Stay put, Bro," Burt told Jonah. "I need this." Burt winked at Denton, earning a faint smile. When Troy sat down on the carpet facing the guys, conversation began immediately. At that point, Riley came tromping up the steps from Troy's bedroom, took one look at Jonah, he being closest to Riley's age, and marched up to him, demanding to know who he was, offering to show him around "Troy's house." Jonah, a little intimidated by Riley's forceful personality, followed along, rather wide-eyed at this little human dynamo. Soon, Riley had "latched onto" Jonah. They were wandering through the house, chattering like monkeys. "How old are you anyway," Riley demanded. "I'm twelve," Jonah answered, a little hesitantly. "And you go to high school with Troy and those guys?" Riley demanded. "Yeah." "How can you be twelve and be in high school?" "I studied hard, learned a lot, and was jumped two grades ahead of kids my age." "Oh," Riley said, his eyes growing wide, obviously impressed, probably for the first time that day. He stood thinking a moment. Then he hitched his jeans up, stating, "That's what I'm gonna do - study a lot and then get jumped. Then I'll play basketball with Troy and Cody." "Well, everyone knows Troy's smart, so you just might be able to do that." "Yeah," Riley said with some vigor. He looked Jonah up and down momentarily. "So you're one of the big guys?" Jonah realized that Riley was looking up to him as filling a role he'd never held. He liked it! "I guess I am, but then if you study hard, you'll be one of the big guys too." Riley thought for a second. "I'm already gettin' there," Riley observed matter-of-factly. Tony Francini and Angela Walker arrived next, waving at Evan as they were escorted into the family room by Justin, Troy's middle brother, whom Troy had sent to check the front door. Both were introduced to Burt and Denton. Tony sat down with the guys. After introductions, Angela joined the kitchen contingent, greeting Evan and Susan and being introduced to Drew, who was charmed when she exclaimed that it was a privilege to meet one of Troy's brothers, especially one just as handsome. Drew stood taller, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans in an "aw shucks" manner, giving Angela a killer smile just like Troy's. It was all Evan could do to keep from cracking up. Susan glanced at Evan, her eyes alight, sharing Evan's amusement. With Angela's arrival, Drew drifted out to join the guys. Cody Saxon arrived next. Again Justin played host, leading Cody to the family room with Cody's arm slung over Justin's shoulders. Justin turned quickly when he felt Cody's arm laid across his shoulder, his eyes wide, his mouth open. Cody slid his hand around the back of Justin's neck and shook it in gentle, companionable micro movements. After that, Justin was glued to Cody's side, seemingly mesmerized. Cody and Troy hugged and kissed each other on the cheek, causing Burt's and Denton's eyes to widen a little. Burt looked at Tony, who just smiled back and then waved at Cody. Cody greeted Tony, Burt, and Denton in turn. Evan responded to knocking on the front door, where he found Byron Okata and Sherry Westbrook with Jarod Paine and Valerie Cunningham coming up the walk behind the younger couple. Evan smiled, thinking 'this is beginning to feel like a party, not a movie evening. Troy has made some interesting choices of guests. He wants Byron and Sherry to know that they are now insiders in Troy's circle of friends.' Once back inside, Evan took pleasure from the chatting groups in the kitchen and the family room. Riley was dragging Jonah from group to group, pushing for introductions to the strangers and earning interested responses from the newcomers. Jonah handled it all gracefully. Riley eyed each and every one of them, quizzing them about their connection to Troy, a process that earned a subtle smile from big brother who was standing aside, having just greeted the newcomers, visiting but monitoring Riley as well. Eventually, Jonah gravitated back to Burt, followed by Riley. Fairly quickly, Tony and Riley each took measure of the other and started a game of Challenge and Putdown. "You cook in that restaurant?" Riley asked Tony, slowing down to get all the syllables in the last word. Tony grinned at the insouciant manner of Riley's interrogation. He liked this kid who showed all the promise of being a smart ass like himself. "If they need for me to. Usually I wait tables. Why?" "I ever eaten there?" Riley asked Tony. "If you had, little boy, you'd have remembered it. We serve great Italian food!" Riley's eyes narrowed at Tony's addressing him as a little boy. "I'm not a little boy," Riley responded with a little attitude. "Then what are you?" "I'm Troy's brother," he responded sharply, drawing himself up. "Shouldn't you be in bed, little boy?" Tony challenged. Riley's eyes fired. "Shouldn't you be in your kitchen, big boy?" Tony's mouth spread into a jaw-breaking grin, for he'd gotten a rise out of Riley. Angela, who had joined the group, was trying to hide a giggle, evoked by Tony's having so quickly found his match an in a fella not even half his size. Eventually, Troy told Riley to round up the crew for a movie. For all his brashness, Riley demonstrated some charm as he invited others to watch "a great basketball movie." Just prior to the movement to the family room, Susan, Angela and Valerie had made bowls of popcorn for everyone. "What are we watching?" Jarod asked. "Well, Evan said he wouldn't mind watching 'Hoosiers' with us," Troy said, "so that will play first." There were hoots, applause, and cheers, earning a smile from Troy. "A basketball movie! Now why am I not surprised about that?" Valerie asked. Since most of the seats were taken, Evan plopped down on the carpet a bit away from the others, causing the slightest frown to appear on Susan's face. Evan didn't notice. Troy and Susan sat together on a sofa to watch the movie, immediately holding hands. For perhaps the first half hour, Riley sat with Burt and Jonah, frequently looking over at Troy and Susan. When the basketball games in the movie started, Evan watched with interest the way Troy and Cody would caution Drew or Justin to watch how a play was run or stopped. Finally, Riley wandered over and stood by Troy, listening to Cody and him coaching Drew and Justin. Occasionally, Burt or one of the other guys - once even Denton - would ask a basketball question. So Riley asked Cody why a character in the movie had turned the way he did. "Riley, butt out," Drew told him irritably. "This is big guy talk." Troy shot Drew a look that ended his putdown of Riley. Cody went ahead and answered his question, pulling Riley in against him in an informal hug and pointing out related play in the scene. Troy realized that he would have to initiate another kind of coaching with Drew too. He decided to let it pass until after the movie. As Riley watched more of the game, he began to rub his eyes, fighting sleep. Finally he walked over to Troy and climbed into his lap. Troy dropped Susan's hand to help Riley settle in and lean back on Troy's chest. After perhaps five minutes of Riley's looking up and back and then to the side, checking Troy out and then Susan, he reached down and put Susan's hand back in Troy's. He smiled at Susan, causing her to lean over to kiss his cheek. She followed that with a kiss on Troy's cheek. He turned and captured her lips with his. When Troy straightened back up, Riley looked at one, then the other, then gently touched his cheek with his fingers where Susan had kissed him. After about ten seconds Riley reached down and grabbed Troy's left hand, pulling it so that it rested on Riley's stomach. Troy squeezed him in a hug as he moved his head around to kiss Riley on the cheek. Riley sighed and wriggled back against Troy. Fifteen minutes later, Riley had fallen asleep, the slightest of smiles gracing his face. "I think I'll put Riley in my bed," Troy whispered to Susan. Then he won't cramp folks' style up here." "I'll turn back the covers," Susan said as Troy gently scooted to the edge of the sofa and arose, cradling Riley in his arms without waking him. Caught up in one of the movie's scenes of Hickory High School beating an opposing school in a fast-paced game, the guests turned momentarily to see what was happening, smiling at Riley's angelic look. Cody arose and followed Troy and Susan, missing a questioning look from Justin. Susan preceded Troy, pulling back the covers of Troy's bed. Troy lay Riley gently on one side, allowing Susan and Cody to help in taking off Riley's shirt, jeans, and hiking boots and socks. "I'll take him to the bathroom," Troy whispered to Susan and Cody. He picked Riley up against his chest as Riley snuggled into Troy's neck and clasped his legs around Troy's waist. As Troy left the room, Cody moved to Susan, embracing and kissing her warmly. Riley emitted only the faintest of whimpers when, upon arriving in the bathroom, Troy stood him in front of the toilet and pulled down his white briefs (Riley had pitched a fit in the fall, declaring that he was wearing briefs like Troy's - "with no little animals on them, Mom!"). Emily had smiled at his defiance, noting happily that Riley was modeling himself after Troy. When he was finished, Riley pulled up his briefs, turning toward Troy with his eyes closed and raising his arms to be picked up. Troy flushed the stool and then cradled Riley like a baby. Riley snuggled up against Troy's expansive chest and promptly fell back to sleep. Back in the bedroom, Troy noted with a smile that his lovers were kissing. He gently lay Riley on one side of the bed, pulling the covers up over him. Riley rolled over on his side and curled up in a little ball. Turning toward Cody and Susan, Troy joined them in a three-way hug and kiss. Unbeknownst to the three, Justin, noticing that Cody didn't return, had quietly gone downstairs. As he turned from the bottom step to enter Troy's bedroom, he spied the group hug with warm, slow kisses exchanged by all. His eyes widened. Then he gulped, feeling a pain in his gut. At first he couldn't tear himself away from watching the three even though his instincts told him to run. After five seconds, he listened to his gut, wondering why he hurt inside. Just as he turned to tiptoe up the stairs, Troy detected movement out of the corner of his eye, catching a glimpse of Justin's shapely butt as he quietly moved up the stairs. Seeing Troy turn to look in the direction of the stairs, Cody and Susan broke off a kiss to see what had caught Troy's attention, but they saw nothing. Susan gave Troy a questioning look. "Justin saw us," Troy whispered. "How did he react?" Susan whispered. "I'm not sure," Troy replied. "I guess you noticed, Cody, that he's been your shadow ever since you arrived." Forsaking the cocky smile that would have been his customary response to someone's paying so much attention to him, Cody shook his head a little. "Yeah. Hero worship, maybe?" he asked. "Oh yeah," Troy replied, "big time." "What's to be done?" Susan asked. "Let's play it by ear," Troy whispered back. "We need to see where he is about what he saw before we talk to him. But we'd all better be ready for questions from him. How do you think we should answer him?" They paused in thought. "We don't have to be graphic," Cody replied, "but we have to answer him with some degree of honesty. Otherwise, he may never trust us again, and he may hold back from getting close to someone. He's also part of our family." "Good plan," Susan responded. "We better get upstairs before we're missed." Evan had been caught up in the scene in the movie where Jimmie, the team star, tells the assembled citizens of Hickory that he will quit playing ball again if they force the new coach to leave. Suddenly, Justin shot into his right peripheral visual field, causing him to look over. Justin paused, scanning the group, looking pale, breathing heavily. As Justin pondered the various groups spread throughout the room, he looked at Evan, who arched his brows as though asking if all were well. Justin hesitated until he heard steps on the stairs. Then he shot over and plopped down by Evan, giving him a tentative smile. He stared at the movie as Troy, Susan, and Cody walked into the family room. Evan noticed that they looked all around for Justin. When they noted him by Evan, the trio exchanged glances. 'Oh boy,' Evan thought, 'I wonder what drama is unfolding here.' Evan's eyebrows arched again, shooting the trio a wordless question. Troy raised his palm slightly in a gesture that communicated 'later.' Evan shook his head okay. Troy and Susan resumed their places on the sofa, while Cody, following Jonah's and Kenny's lead, leaned back against their legs. Drew, who'd stayed close to Troy since his kitchen duty had ended, looked casually over at the group, then turned back to the movie. In a second his head shot back toward the trio. He was staring at them, taking the arrangement in. It was only a micro movement, but Evan, who'd been watching the byplay, noted Drew's pressing his lips tightly together. Evan glanced at Jeremy and Kenny, who had tipped to the combined behaviors playing out in the family room. Now arching his eyebrows, Jeremy caught Evan's eyes. Evan's left eyebrow cocked in manner that communicated a shrug. Not much in the scenario changed while the movie played itself out to the winning climax. At its end, Jared asked what was next on the playbill. "You've Got Mail," Susan replied. "A chick flick," Jared moaned, rolling over on his back on the carpet. Valerie punched Jared in the stomach gently. "You guys have had your testosterone fix, so now we women get a turn." Realizing the response expected of them, the guys groaned in surrender. "I didn't know you wanted a testosterone fix," Tony leaned over toward Angela, leering. Angela shoved him back. "Down, boy." "No heavy petting," Cody remarked, smirking at Jarod and Tony. "Speak for yourself," Tony shot back as soft giggles were heard about the room. Justin was staring straight ahead, frowning. Both Troy and Cody had tried to catch his eye, but he was studiously ignoring them. Drew's lips remained a compressed line. Evan asked Justin if he'd like more popcorn or something to drink. Justin quietly declined. Byron and Sherry were sitting on the carpet, watching these exchanges with interest. While they had been included in the group on several social outings, this was perhaps more intimate than those occasions. Byron softly moaned on protest. "What?" Sherry asked. "I hate these situations when everybody knows what's going on, but I haven't got a clue." Sherry leaned over, giving him a peck on the lips. "Join the crew," she said, smiling. "I know something's going on, I guess, but I couldn't say what it is." Byron smiled, kissing her back. "That's one of the many reasons I love you," he said. "We're both on the same wavelength." "Maybe," she replied. "But I'm not a brain like you." Byron noticed how much Sherry's eyes were shining with admiration. "Stick with me kid. You'll be a brain too." Sherry chuckled and leaned in for another kiss. Here and there others arose for a bathroom break or for something to drink. Some replenished their bowls of popcorn while others were conversing, waiting for the first tape to rewind and the next to be started. Evan arose, moving to the kitchen. Drew followed him, asking if he could use the master bathroom. Evan assured him he could, and Drew moved off rapidly. Just before the start of the movie, Evan pleaded weariness, excusing himself and wishing them a good night. As he walked to his bedroom, Drew passed him, murmuring thanks. When Drew had passed, Evan turned to see where Drew sat. Stonily ignoring the trio, he flopped down next to his brother Justin. Evan had undressed to his briefs when he heard a soft knock. The door opened and Troy stuck his head in. "Darn - didn't wait long enough. I was hoping to catch you nekkid," he whined, with a salacious inflection on the last word. "I think you've seen all that before. What's up?" Troy came in shutting the door. Evan sat on the end of the bed, so Troy sat on the carpet. "Dad, you noticed something going on with Drew and Justin this evening. I need some advice, but it can't wait until morning." "Okay. Shoot." "Susan, Cody and I were down in my bedroom having a group hug and kiss after we'd put Riley to bed. Justin had followed Cody down. When he saw us, he scooted back upstairs. You noticed that he's been avoiding us the rest of the evening. He won't even look at us." "Yeah, I noticed. So did Jeremy and Kenny." "That's not all. Drew's behaving the same way. I don't think he liked seeing Cody lean back on Susan's and my legs. He changed after that, pulling inside himself. I can only imagine what's going through Justin's and his mind, but I hoped you'd help me see more clearly what they must be thinking." "Okay. . . . You noticed that Justin attached himself to Cody, and Drew stayed close to you most of the evening?" Evan asked. "Yeah." "Why do you think that is?" "Cody thinks Justin's exhibiting hero worship. I hope that's all it is." Evan shook his head in understanding. "I mean, if he's gay, it makes no difference to me, but I wouldn't wish it for him. If Cody and I weren't jocks, we'd probably be taking more flack. You know what I mean," Troy explained. "Precisely." "Maybe it's the same with Drew - hero worship, I mean." "Count on it." "So have I ruined it for them?" "No-o-o-o," Evan said slowly. "They've just entered puberty, Troy. Everything is discovery for them now, and everything is confusing. They are just trying to fit in a new life stage, so they've latched onto Cody and you as models because they see both of you fitting in big time. You are popular with everyone. You have monster reputations at school." Even in only the light of the lamp on the night table, Evan spotted a blush on Troy's upper cheeks. 'Nice,' he thought. 'Still humble enough to be embarrassed in the face of praise.' "But that's also part of the problem," Evan continued. "Socially, sexually, worldly-wise, you are experienced. They are not. What both of them saw intimated at something deeper among you three, something that they know is unconventional, so it looks strange to them. They don't know if it's okay to like what they saw or not. At their age, what seems strange can also be threatening. There's no way they could escape feeling confused and a little afraid. They want to follow in your footsteps, but they aren't certain that they CAN, let alone want to follow Cody and you in what they've seen this evening. A second wrinkle is that you were demonstrating so much closeness that they felt there was no room left for them. In some way they could never articulate, they felt shut out. That's why they've physically distanced themselves from you guys. You shut them out, so now they are shutting you guys out. They're acting out what they believe has already happened to them. Evan paused. "Before you go blaming yourself, you should know that this evening's events were inevitable. The more your brothers shadow Cody and you, the more they are going to see - up to a point. You all know what that point is. In fact, the glimpses Drew and Justin have had this evening are exactly what you know you have to talk to them about this weekend. You knew it before they arrived. Your being kicked out of your home was too abrupt and startling for them not to have plenty of questions with which to ply you." Troy shook his head in agreement. "You are wise to seek counsel to avoid introducing them to more than they can handle. Do you begin to perceive how they are feeling at this very moment?" "Yes. . . . I started to talk to them right after they arrived, but I realized that each one probably needs a different answer. I don't want to send them home angry with Dad, at least not because of something I've said. They need to know that Dad gave me no choice, but I don't want to cause more trouble there. Susan, Cody, and I know we have to deal with this issue. We just aren't quite certain how to go about it." "I've been thinking along the lines of your future with the boys. You are correct - you can't wait until morning to deal with this issue. Here's what I suggest. Tonight after your guests have left, you and Cody need to ask Justin to accompany you to the sunroom for a talk. Susan needs to ask Drew to stay with her in the family room for the same reason." "What if they don't want to talk to us?" "It's time for you to learn a master principle about human nature. If you act on this as often as possible, you'll find yourself making better way with people, getting them on board, leading them. Whenever anyone proposes a venture, those to whom it is offered must fairly quickly see a benefit to them if they follow you. Usually that benefit relates to themselves, sometimes to an ideal, occasionally to both. For you to be effective, you need to let Drew and Justin know right up front what that benefit is. So when you announce these talks, tell the boys that you have an offer to make them." "What am I offering them?" "Perhaps you missed the light in their eyes this evening when Cody and you were alerting them to watch this play or that in 'Hoosiers.' They loved it. You were drawing them into Cody and your world. Drew will be in high school during your senior year. If you and Cody work with him and Justin a lot this spring, summer and fall, you may move from being the Varsity Twins to the Varsity Triplets. You've seen Drew play basketball. I haven't. But if Cody can model his play after yours, so can your brothers. Maybe they share your basketball gene. When Cody and you graduate, Justin will be joining Drew in high school. They may play so well as a duo then that they take the place of Cody and you." The more Evan explained his vision, the more Troy's eyes lighted up and the bigger his smile got. Evan laughed out loud. "What?" Troy asked. "Dave Hernandez will think he's gone to heaven when he has triplets. So will your team members . . . . OH! Great idea! After you four have been playing long enough to be somewhat in sync, invite Dave to a Saturday pick-up game. He'll get a close look at all of you. You all can even invite him to coach you in playing together. Believe me, he won't see it as work!" Troy laughed. "I can see his eyes now as he becomes more aware of the possibilities the future holds." "Then after you talk to Justin, all of you go back and join Susan and Drew and you can more fully explain the basketball gambit." "I'm not objecting, but why have Susan speak to Drew?" "He's just old enough that he will hear her differently than Justin. Besides, Susan's involved in this evening's events. It would feel ambiguous to Drew and Justin if she didn't play a role or have a voice in resolving the tension. Susan's wise. Drew's already wondering if he'll ever find a woman like her." "Then tomorrow morning, you all head over to the basketball courts at Borden Elementary a few blocks over. You can play together there. And take Riley with you. You don't want him to feel cut out." "But how can we play seriously if Riley's with us?" "You choose Drew and Riley to be on your team. Let Cody and Justin play as a team. When Riley gets the ball, you swoop over and lift him up to the net. Drew can do the same. Riley will love it! You'll make him feel like a million dollars. As though he could really be a basketball player like you. All you guys will bond in ways you never imagined. Remember your early days learning basketball?" "Yeah." "You'll be giving him better memories. Riley will remember the way his three brothers included him in their play, and he'll bond with Cody the same way, which you would want, I believe." Troy shook his head in the affirmative. "But you will also introduce Drew to what you expect of him with your brothers when you aren't present." "Oh, caught on to that, did you." "Of course. "Good plan, Dad. I'll let you know how it works out," Troy said, rising, walking over to Evan, pulling him into a hug, and kissing him fervently. *** When Troy had arisen and walked to the front of the house, Drew caught Jeremy's eye and nodded with his head toward Jeremy's bedroom. Jeremy squeezed Kenny's shoulder as he stood, following Drew. As he closed the bedroom door, Jeremy asked, "What's up, Drew? What can I do for you?" he asked as he gestured for Drew to sit in the reading chair while he lay on his side on the bed, his head propped in his hand. "Mind if I ask you a personal question?" Before Jeremy could answer, Kenny and Justin entered the room. "Mind if we join you?" Kenny asked. "I think Justin wants to talk for the same reasons." "I don't mind," Jeremy answered, sitting up and gesturing for Kenny to sit beside him, throwing a long arm over Kenny's shoulders. Justin sat at Drew's feet. "So?" Jeremy asked. Drew and Justin exchanged a glance. Drew took the lead. "This afternoon, you said Kenny is your boyfriend. Do you mean a friend who's a boy or a boyfriend like Susan is Troy's girlfriend," Drew asked a little tentatively. Jeremy looked at Kenny, who replied, "I'm Jeremy's boyfriend in the same way that Susan is Troy's girlfriend. We're in love with each other. Have been for a while now." "Do you do the same stuff boys and girls do?" Justin asked. "The same," Jeremy replied. "You mean like kiss . . . and stuff?" Justin asked, his eyes bigger. "Yes," Jeremy answered softly. "That's what people do when they're in love." "Don't you miss being with girls?" Drew asked. "How could we miss being with girls when we get what we need and want from each other?" "We-e-e-e-l-l, does that mean you're gay?" Justin asked. "Yes," Jeremy and Kenny both answered, turning to smile at the other. Kenny continued, "We didn't choose to be this way. We have known from a time when we were very young that we were different, that we preferred males. Jeremy dated girls before. I'd been in a relationship with an older guy, who decided he was in love with a girl, so he dumped me. I didn't handle it well, but Jeremy was there to pick me up and offer me something better." "Are the guy and girl in your school?" Drew asked. "Yes." "Who are they?" he persisted. Kenny smiled. "That's for them to say, not for me. Besides, they are very happy now. I wouldn't do anything to ruin their relationship. That's not cool." "Uh," Drew started cautiously, "are Troy and Cody boyfriends?" "You'd have to ask them," Jeremy iterated. "They are the only people to properly answer that question." "Don't people hassle you?" Justin asked. "Not usually," Jeremy answered. "You've seen some of our friends here this evening. That isn't even half of them. They know about us. They still consider us close friends, their equals. If we bother anyone else, they keep it to themselves, and they don't become our friends." "You're lucky to have parents who don't get on you about having a boyfriend." "Evan is my adopted father," Jeremy explained. "My dad ran off from my mom and me. But when I introduced Kenny to Mom as her future son-in-law, her boyfriend didn't like it, and I could tell she didn't either. I left. They aren't my family anymore. I'm not poorer because that happened. Evan doesn't have a problem with it." "It sounds like what happened to you sort of happened to Troy with our dad." "Not with my parents," Kenny chimed in. "They didn't' kick me out. It took a while for them to adjust to us, but they came around." "Is it awful to be gay?" Justin asked quietly. "Is it awful to be heterosexual?" Jeremy asked, laughing. "It can be if you aren't with a good woman or man, I bet," Drew responded. "But . . . is sex good if you are gay?" "Oh yeah," Jeremy and Kenny answered in concert, sharing a look. The four laughed together. "So how do you two feel now that you know about us?" Kenny asked. Drew and Justin looked at each other. "I don't know what I feel," Drew said. "I don't hate you or anything like that. I like both of you. I'm glad you're Troy's friends." "Justin?" Jeremy asked. "I'm okay with it. I don't know if anyone I know at school is gay or not. Boy," Justin exclaimed, "it's a good thing our dad isn't your father. He's really . . . what's that word Mom used, Drew?" "Homophobic." "Yeah," Jeremy responded, "I've seen your dad in action when he came over here one night to take Troy home." "Oh boy, was Mom ever mad at him when she heard what he did," Justin exclaimed. "They went in their bedroom and had an argument. Then he was really mad when he heard we were spending the weekend here with Troy. But Mom . . . well, I don't know . . . she calls the shots now. She told Dad it was planned, it was going to happen because he'd messed things up for all of us being with Troy, and nobody wanted to hear anything more from him about it. Then she gave him one of those looks that told him she meant it. I've been afraid they'd split up, but they haven't. I don't know why." "I've noticed that Dad is more careful around Mom," Drew ventured. "I've wondered if he's realized how unhappy he might be if she dumped him. Maybe he really misses Troy and is sorry he kicked him out." Jeremy just tilted his head to the left a bit as though to say "maybe." "Uh-h-h-h," Drew began, "do you guys like us even if we aren't gay?" "Of course," Jeremy and Kenny replied. They all laughed. "I don't think we've ever answered as one voice so many times together in one evening," Jeremy explained. "You notice that most of our friends are straight. We love them just as much as the gay ones. Greg's gay, but Denton's straight. They are still friends. When we meet people, our first reactions relate to how friendly they are, not what their sexual orientation is. That only makes a difference if you decide to allow it to make a difference." Silence ensued for a bit. "Think we should get back to the movie?" Kenny asked the group. They arose, with Drew thanking them for allowing them to ask personal questions. When Justin expressed no thanks, Drew shot him a sharp look. "Oh yeah," Justin rushed to add, "thank you for explaining things to us." *** Another movie later revealed the day's wear on the guests. It being after midnight, the guests began departing, for Saturday and another evening of socializing lay ahead of them. When the last guest had left, Troy closed and locked the front door, returning to the family room. He'd quietly filled Susan and Cody in on the talks he planned with his brothers. Drew and Justin had brought up their sleeping bags and were in the process of unrolling them on the carpet. "Hey, Justin, come on with me into the sunroom. I'd like to talk to you for a minute." Justin was on his knees on the floor, looking up at Troy, a worried look on his face. "I'm sorry, Troy. I won't do it again." He paused. "And I won't tell anyone." "You're not in trouble, buddy. I have an offer to make you." "You do?" "Come on," Troy nodded his head toward the sunroom. Justin arose rather slowly, following Troy just as slowly. Cody fell in behind Justin. Drew had noted all that occurred but without letting on much that he was paying much attention. "Hey, Drew, this gives us a chance to talk," Susan said. Drew continued to unroll his sleeping bag and unzip it. "Can't think that we have much to talk about," Drew said, not looking up. "You think I haven't much to talk about with my future brother- in-law?" Susan asked, finally winning Drew's eye. "You and Troy are going to get married?" "When we finish college." "So Cody's not your boyfriend?" "Cody is my boyfriend too. As you saw, Troy and I both love Cody, just as much as he loves us." "You can't have two boyfriends at the same time," Drew protested. "Why not?" Susan asked. Drew stared, the mental wheels and cogs turning. "I don't know. I just thought you could have only one at a time. I don't know anyone else who has two." "Think a minute. You mean there's no guy or girl at your school who's involved with more than one boy or girl?" "W-e-l-l, yeah, but I thought they were just playing around." "You know how really close Troy and Cody have been over several years. Troy and I fell in love this year. Then your brother helped us understand that Cody and I love each other too. Troy's very unusual that way, you know. He has a kind and loving heart, and when he loves someone, he loves them completely. He felt that way for both Cody and me, so he wanted us to love each other too. That's the way he is with his brothers. He loves each of you, and he wants you to join him in his love for all of you by loving each other." "Are Troy and Cody gay?" "I'm going to allow Troy to answer that. You know he loves you very much, Drew. He sees you following in his footsteps as a scholar, jock, and leader. He wants that very much. That's why he's been putting you in situations this weekend when you can behave just as he would." "Oh . . ." Drew paused, thinking. "So that's why he's been so pushy." "Did you mind?" Susan asked. "He never asked you to do anything he hasn't done himself." "How can he care about me when he's so close to Cody and you?" "He has a big heart and lots of love to give. He doesn't just love us, you know. You saw all these people here this evening. He collected them here because he wanted to show his brothers off and he wanted you to meet them. He knew some of them needed to feel accepted and loved too. You guys helped him accomplish that." Drew's eyes narrowed. "You mean he was doing with them and us what he did with you and Cody?" "Much the same. I doubt he expected you to get all mushy with all of them the way you saw the three of us behave," Susan said, her eyes twinkling mischievously. They both laughed. "Oh, I wouldn't have any trouble being mushy with Valerie or Angela," Drew grinned. "Or you," he said softly. "Oh Drew, there will be many women who will want to be mushy with you. If what is reported to me is accurate, you are already Number One on many women's lists in your school." Drew blushed. He waited for a while, looking at Susan, then looking away, then back at her. Susan knew there was a question coming; Drew was just trying to figure out the best way to ask it. "Does Troy expect me to get mushy with guys they way he's mushy with Cody?" "No," she said softly. "You know that's not Troy's way. He's not into forcing people to be anything. His experiences with your father would be enough to ensure that. Your choice of a partner for mushiness is yours alone." They chuckled. "But Troy's been telling me to do stuff all weekend." "Drew, he's merely showing you how to walk in his footsteps." She paused. "How long have you wanted to be just like Troy, wanted people to think that you two are just alike?" Pause. "For a long time." "That's what he's helping you do, Drew. It's important to him. He's proud of you and proud of what the two of you together can be." "No, he's got Cody now. He won't care about that anymore." "He's had Cody for years, Drew. He didn't change toward you in that time, did he?" "I guess not." "Then he won't now. Besides, it's important to Cody that you like him too. You never realized that did you?" Now Drew's mental cogs and gears were flying. "Cody wants me to like him? He acts like he doesn't care about anyone - except for you and Troy anyway." Cody wants to be as much like Troy as you do Drew. You are important to Cody because you are important to Troy. He'd like to have you as a brother too. Can't you see that - Cody, Troy, and you as a trio? Then Justin and Riley too?" Again, Drew was processing what he'd heard and realized. "If that's so, why did Justin get to go with Troy and Cody and they left me here with you?" "I think he thought you'd feel special being able to have a visit with me," Susan said, posturing disappointment. "Oh!" Drew exclaimed. "Shit! No . . . I'm sorry," he reached out, tentatively touching Susan's arm. "I shouldn't have used that word. But I didn't mean to say I didn't want to talk to you, Susan. I'm proud you're Troy's girlfriend." He blushed. "Oh-h-h-h, this is a mess. . . ." He gulped. "I'm glad we're finally getting to have a talk, just the two of us. I guess I wanted to know why Troy cut me out of that talk." "Justin saw Troy, Cody and I kissing and hugging each other this evening down in Troy's bedroom just after we'd put Riley to bed. They're explaining to Justin what I've just explained to you." "Oh," he said, taking a while to absorb what Susan had told him. "So why is Troy making an offer to Cody and not to me?" "Oh, they'll join us shortly, and he'll make the same offer to both of you." Drew scooted over to Susan on his knees. "May I hug you, Susan?" She stood as did Drew, who threw his arms around her. "I KNEW it," Cody charged as he led Justin and Troy into the family room. "Drew's trying to steal our woman, Troy. What is it with Morgan men? Just can't keep their hands off the good stuff." The older three chuckled. Drew colored. Justin gawked. "Guys," Troy said. "Would you loosen up a little? It was a joke!" Drew and Justin finally smiled a bit. Cody threw his arm around Justin, pulling him against him. "Yeah, Bro. You're stiff as the Tin Man in "The Wizard of Oz." "Let's sit down and talk some more," Troy said. The boys sat on the carpet. Troy nudged Cody toward Susan, who smiled as he sat beside her on the sofa, throwing his arm across her shoulders and claiming a little kiss. Troy sat down by his brothers. "Here's the offer, guys. Cody and I want to coach you guys in basketball. We want to start practicing as a team so that you can learn from us and we can learn to play well with you. Eventually, we hope we'll be playing as a unit. When you arrive at Templeton High next year, Drew, you'll be a star on junior varsity. Who knows? Maybe you'll develop so fast you'll get some playing time on varsity with Cody and me." Drew's eyes grew just as large as Troy had imagined they would. "Me too?" Justin asked. "You too, Bro," Cody said. "When you join Drew at Templeton, you'll take our places as "the Twins." Drew and Justin shot smiles at each other. "When do we start?" Justin asked. "Tomorrow morning," Tory said. "We'll go over to the ball courts at Borden Elementary and shoot some baskets. We'll take Riley too." Drew groaned softly. "Oh Troy, why do we have to take Riley? He's such a pain in the ass. He'll just slow us down." Troy's eyebrows rose questioningly. "Did you know that there was once a big brother who thought his next younger brother was a pain in the ass. He was always following him around. Always wanting to shoot baskets with him. Know who that was?" Drew shook his head in the negative. "You." Drew just stared at Troy, who continued. "I finally realized that you didn't want to crimp my style. You wanted to be with me. You loved me. You wanted to learn from me. Right." Drew blushed lightly. "Yeah." "Think that's why Riley is the way he is with Justin and you?" The two younger brothers swapped looks, their eyes rolling. "Troy," Justin said, "Drew and I were never like Riley. I've never gotten in someone's face like I was daring them to ignore me." Cody grinned, sharing his amused moment with Troy and Susan, all realizing that Justin could be describing Cody. "But don't you see that your very words explain why Riley's that way?" Cody asked. "Huh?" "Drew," Troy added, "you never had to compete with anyone since you were nearer in age to me. Justin, you had only to compete with Drew, but you guys are different enough that you really weren't competition for each other. Look where Riley is in birth order. Look how many years separate you. Can't you see why he has to be that way not to be ignored and run over? Don't you admire him just a little bit for deciding he's not going to be overlooked? I do. No one ignores Riley Morgan. And have you noticed how he can hold his own with us and adults too - better than you two, actually. In fact, there will come a time when you two will have to hustle to compete with him. That is one strong fella. He'll only grow to be more so." Drew snickered. "You don't mean he'll be beating up bullies who'll be picking on Justin and me do you?" The two brothers laughed at the thought. "One never knows," Troy almost sang, wagging his eyebrows. "Guys, we are blessed with this brother," Troy explained. "Be proud of him. Protect and help him. He confers presence on us. He'll look up to you for it, idolize you for it. That's what big brothers are obliged to do, you know - if they are the right kind of men, that is." Troy allowed his words to soak in. "But how can Riley play ball with us?" Justin asked. "He's too small." "Then we have to keep his size from counting against him. Evan had an idea. He suggested that when we toss Riley the ball, we hold him up toward the basket and let him shoot. Can't you see that little imp's eyes the first time that ball goes through the net?" Drew and Justin laughed. "You will have put that light there, guys. That's one of the most decent acts anyone of us can achieve in any day. Imagine how we'll be helping our brother feel about himself. Don't you want to do that for him?" "W-e-l-l," Drew drawled, "I guess it won't be so bad. Just as long as you guys are helping us too." "You don't know how much we want to do that," Cody stated. "Guys," Troy said, "I want your promise that you'll do a better job of being big brothers to Riley. I want you to love him. I'll warn you now that I'll have a hard time with you if you can't love and help him." Both Drew and Justin looked somber. "I'm not kidding," Troy said, looking at them without a smile or any positive signal. Silence ensued. Drew and Justin looked at each other and then at Troy. "You want an answer?" Drew asked. Troy just stared at them levelly. A check of Susan's and Cody's faces made Drew and Justin realize that they had reached a serious moment with the three. "You really mean it?" No one said anything. Drew gulped. "I have always loved Riley. I guess I've never tried to fit him in my world much. I'll improve, Troy," he said as he looked pleadingly at Troy. "I promise." "Me too," Justin said. "Not good enough, Justin," Troy said. Justin looked at Drew, but he found no support there. "You mean I have to say something more?" Justin asked. Silence. "Oh, okay, I get it." Justin thought a moment. "Sometimes I admire Riley. He's just there, holding his own with everyone when I'm shy. I've never seen anyone back him down much. Sometimes he gives Dad a hard time. I guess he reminded me too much that I'm the next youngest when I wanted to be seen as older. You've made me realize that I am an older brother. I'll be that for Riley from now on. I promise." "That's what I needed to hear, guys," Troy said, shooting them a killer smile full of warmth and love. Silence ensued. "Troy," Drew began. "Can I ask you something?" "Shoot," Troy said. Drew hesitated, shooting a glance at Cody, who realized just then what was coming. "I don't want to make you or anyone mad." "Don't worry about it," Troy reassured his younger brother. "We're family here." Drew waited so long that Troy was beginning to think he might have to ask the question himself. "Are you and Cody in love with each other?" Drew asked. Justin breathed a sigh of relief. Startled by his reaction, he said softly, "Sorry." They all realized that Justin had wanted to ask the same question. "May I answer that?" Cody asked Troy, who smiled. "Go ahead." "Yes, Troy and I love each other. It happened naturally. We never set out to make it happen. It just did." "Does that mean you love each other the way Kenny and Jeremy do?" Justin asked. "How do you know about that?" Troy asked. "We had a talk with them this evening?" Drew explained. "Really," Troy said, his eyebrows arched in surprise. "Neat! You guys took the initiative to resolve an issue for yourselves. I'm proud of you. I assume you didn't offend Jeremy and Kenny just as you haven't offended us this evening?" "Naw," Drew said. "We left friends. We still like each other." "So do you love each other the way they do?" Justin asked, looking at Cody. "Yes," Troy answered. Drew cleared his throat, looking at Susan. "But doesn't that hurt you, Susan?" "No," she answered smiling to reassure Drew that he hadn't trespassed on her feelings. "It makes them love me all the more. I'm not jealous if you are wondering about that. When a woman has such two handsome, decent, caring men loving her, she hasn't time to be jealous. Cody takes nothing from Troy and me. It's the same for all three of us. It wouldn't be possible if we didn't truly love each other. I'm glad when Troy and Cody make love. Troy is happy when Cody and I make love. We admit that we're unique, but that's the way it is." Troy and Cody shook their heads in agreement. "Guys," Troy began, "it goes without saying that this is a family matter, just among all of us. Mom knows. Dad should never know. And it's not other people's business either. This is just for family." Justin stifled a laugh. "Who would think we would tell Dad? He'd be mad at us because you wouldn't be there to be mad at. But what did Mom say?" "She's okay with it." "What about Riley?" Drew asked. "He'll catch onto it gradually," Troy said. "He's sharp. But we shouldn't spring it on him now. Agreed?" Drew and Justin shook their heads in agreement. *** In the morning when Troy awakened, Riley was snuggled up against him with his head on Troy's shoulder and his arm thrown across Troy's chest. Troy smiled, feeling a little boner poking his hip. As Troy slowly ran his hand in circles over Riley's back, he gradually awakened, finally hugging Troy tightly. In a little boy voice that threatened to break Troy's heart, Cody exclaimed, "I miss you Troy. When can you come back home?" "I know you miss me, Bro. I miss you tons. If I could manage it, we wouldn't be apart, but it's not my call. You know that - right? "Why, Troy? Why can't we live together?" Troy thought for at least a minute about how to answer that question so that Riley wouldn't be hurt. Finally he spoke. "Bro, there's not much I can say on that point. I've got to answer in the best way for you. That means you probably won't understand. But if you trust and love me, you'll understand a little. It just isn't going to happen now. You're beginning to learn that no one can make things work out perfectly all the time. The older you are, the more you see that happen. But I promise you, when you're older, we'll change all this shit," Troy said with more vehemence than he intended. "How long?" Riley asked. "When you're 18, you're your own man," Troy replied. He heard Riley whimper. He was touched that he stood so high in Riley's estimation that Riley could let down his guard and be a whiny little brother with him. "Hey, Bud. It won't be that bad. You're my man. I love you, Riley," Troy said, clasping him tightly. "You know that. Right?" "Right," Riley gasped. Realizing how tightly he was hugging Riley, Troy shifted to running his hands over Riley's back again. Riley raised his head to look into Troy's eyes. "Do you love Susan more than you love me?" "No, I love you equally. My loving Susan or Drew or Justin doesn't take anything away from you. You know why?" Riley shook his head in the negative. "Because the name of each of you is written on my heart, but it's written in its own place. You want to see?" Riley just stared at Troy, and then shook his head rapidly. "Okay, now remember, your name is written in small letters on my heart, so it's not really easy to feel, but if you concentrate really hard, you'll feel it. Let me find it first." Troy ran his hand over a spot just to the left of his sternum. He felt around for a while as Riley watched in rapt attention. "Here it is," Troy almost sang. "Here, sit on the bed beside me and give my your hand. Riley sprang up, sitting Indian style by Troy. He held out his little hand, dwarfed by that of his oldest brother. Troy placed his hand over Riley's little hand with his index finger against Riley's index finger. "Now remember, you won't feel it at first. You have to focus your mind and heart on this spot where your hand is. Heart has to meet heart. Ready?" Riley shook his head eagerly. Troy started moving Riley's fingers in micro circles. "Okay, now close your eyes and focus your mind and heart on this spot." Riley shook his head, clasping his eyes tightly shut. Troy continued to rub Riley's fingers gently over the spot. "You should be feeling it now. I'm feeling it with my finger. It won't be big. It will be tiny. Do you feel something small and raised down under the skin?" He rubbed over the spot two more times. "Tell me if you do cause I'm feeling it now." "Yeah, I feel it," Riley whispered. "Okay, let's spell it out," Troy said. "R . . . I . . . L . . . E . . . Y. What does that spell?" The little fella's eyes popped open. "That's my name!" Riley exclaimed. "See why you will never lose my love, why I'll always love you?" Troy asked. Eyes wide, Riley shook his head in the affirmative. Troy pulled him down into a hug. "Is Dad's name there?" Riley asked. Troy frowned. "Yes, but it isn't glowing in gold like yours." "It's Dad, isn't it?" Riley asked. "You're not coming home because of Dad." "You know," Troy replied. They were quiet for a while. "Hey Riley, I need your help." Riley raised his head, looking into Troy's eyes. "We need to support Drew and Justin as they grow into leaders and into your older brothers. Can you help me?" Riley paused before answering. "Yeah, but I don't know about that stuff, leadership, I mean. Besides, they don't have time for me. I'm just a little kid to them." "Oh, little man, you know a lot more about leadership than you think. Among all us Morgan boys, you'll probably be a leader as strong as Terminator." Riley thought a moment. "Terminator I or Terminator II?" Troy chuckled. "Terminator II. But you won't meltdown at the end. One of the reasons I love you Riley is that you are awesome." "Me?' "Yeah, you!" Riley hugged Troy tighter. "I just want to be like you, Troy. I want to be with you more." "OH!" Troy exclaimed. "Oh . . . oh . . . this is brilliant!" Riley's head had shot up off Troy's chest, his eyes big. "What?" "When you need a Troy fix and I need a Riley fix, all we have to do is tell Mom. We'll arrange for you to come here to stay all night with me. I can give you a ride to school in the morning. Drew and Justin don't have to be free for you to come over here. It'd be just you and me. How about that?" "I LIKE IT!" Riley exclaimed, hugging Troy yet again. *** Far sooner than anyone wished, late Sunday morning arrived. The boys had slept in, for they had had a full day Saturday, starting with basketball at Borden Elementary. Riley had returned, lighted up like a Christmas tree, bubbling over about baskets he'd made during their game. As he related the details to Evan, Drew had picked him up, holding him so that Riley was as tall as everyone else. Buddy-like, Riley had put his arm around Drew's neck. Susan had come over for lunch, which she and Evan prepared. They'd sat around the dining room table listening to the morning's sport exploits. All during lunch, the phone had been ringing as friends were trying to coordinate the evening's activities. Though invited to join them, Evan had begged off, thinking that the Morgans needed their time free from him. After dinner at Francini's, Troy and crew met the usual circle of friends, who were taking the younger Morgans to view "The Lord of the Rings," which had made quite an impression on Justin and Riley. When Evan heard the crowd returning home, he'd gone to open the front door. Drew was the first to arrive on the porch, holding a sleeping Riley in his arms, smiling indulgently down at his sleeping brother. The gathering settled in the family room, but it lasted only until after midnight. A late breakfast on Sunday morning was subdued. None of them - even Evan - wanted it to end. Finally, Emily's knock on the door put a period on the weekend. Evan invited Emily in to the dining room to sit with everyone while she had a cup of tea. Drew and Justin excitedly imparted Troy and Cody's plan for coaching the boys in basketball. Riley's eyes glowed as he told his mother about Troy and Drew holding him up to the basket so that he could shoot. He'd even made ten points! She watched as Justin patiently cut Riley's sausage into bite-sized pieces, inquiring if Riley wanted more orange juice. She also noticed how Riley thanked Justin with a smile following. She noticed how Troy was surreptitiously monitoring the behavior, shooting Justin a wink and a smile as he cared for Riley. When they left, Drew was carrying a giggling Riley piggyback out the door. As Emily was shepherding her charges out of the living room, Troy asked her if Riley could come stay all night with him sometimes. A lot of silent communication passed between them. Emily readily agreed, promising that she'd speak to Troy by phone about it. She thanked Troy and Evan profusely, remarking that she could already see benefits in the boy's behavior. After they had departed, Troy pulled Evan into a hug, just standing there, swaying from side to side. "Oh Evan, this was such a healing weekend. Thank you for allowing everyone to pile in on us. He reached out with a long arm and pulled Jeremy and Kenny into the embrace. "Guys, this weekend filled a hole inside of me. I owe each of you so much for making this happen." *** All day Thursday before Tim Minor's big professional development conference in the city, Evan found himself shaking his head, trying to clear it of images and thoughts of Tim. What was disturbing was that they weren't just images of Tim - they were images of Tim and Ron. Evan found himself imagining the two joining together as they had in college, wondering if that would happen again. 'Now where in the world are these thought coming from,' he wondered. 'Well,' he told himself, 'you yourself are evidence that Tim won't turn down a fuck if he can have one.' Then he snorted in impatience at himself, wondering why he was being such an ass, why he was obsessed with Tim's presence in the city, angry with himself for not exerting more self-control, fearful of the implications of his not being able to let go of the past. He knew it was a measure of his feeling majorly threatened. As a result, he out of sorts with himself. By the time classes ended, Evan was in a state. He really wanted to be alone. He decided he'd dine out. That would give him some solitude for thinking. Without really paying attention, once he drove out of the school's north parking lot, he unwittingly turned in the direction of Francini's Italian Restaurant. He was so distracted about Tim that he didn't realize he'd been on automatic pilot until he turned into the restaurant's parking lot. 'Damn', he chided himself, remembering an occasion just before Christmas after Tim had dumped him. 'What if Mary Ellen Branson brings the whole Science Department here again?' But a moment's thought brought a smile to his face. Tim would be at the Radisson downtown, deep into last minutes details of the conference, probably having drinks and dinner with bigwigs from the region. Evan was probably safe here tonight. Evan alighted from the car, walking to the entrance. He strolled up to the hostess. "Hello Mr. Halsey." Evan returned the greeting. "Let me get Tony or Angela." "That's not necessary," Evan replied with a smile. "Orders," she replied, smiling. Evan's eyebrows rose slightly. Before long Tony walked up to the hostess's podium, but he didn't return Evan's smile and greeting. Evan's brow furrowed. "Evan, Ron is here," Tony stated. "Oh?" said Evan. "With Tim Minor." Evan's face set. Hesitating only a moment, he turned and shot out the door. Angela noticed Tony standing in the foyer, a towel he'd used to wipe tables wadded up in his hand, resting on his hip, his head down, his body caught up in dejection. She joined Tony, "What's wrong, Tony?" "I just had to tell Evan Halsey that Ron Hamilton and Tim Minor are here together," he answered grimly. "Oh, no," Angela whispered. "How did Evan react?" "Ran," Tony replied crisply. "I'm getting tired of being sucked into these black holes in Evan's life," he groused. Angela's eyes widened. "What do you mean?" "Why is it that when something bad happens to Evan, I always have to be on the scene?" "That sounds mean. You don't want to be around Evan?" "No, not that," Tony replied in exasperation. "I'd like to be with him when something good is happening, not bad stuff." Angela's jaw dropped a bit, and she looked accusatorily at Tony. "I know what you're thinking," Tony muttered. "You're thinking that I did the same thing to him when we had lunch and that weird conversation at school." "So what have you done to set matters right?" Angela asked. "I've hugged him, visited with him, joked with him," Tony said defensively. "Tony, do you think everything can be fixed with a hug, a joke, and shooting the breeze?" Angela asked. Tony looked at her levelly. He knew he wasn't going to get by without an answer. Angela could be tenacious when she wanted to make a point. "No." "So when Evan sees you, what do you think fills his mind?" "The last time we were together in that weird conversation. . . . I know, I know, you made me realize back then what he's feeling. But I don't know what to say to him. And then tonight's mess with Ron and Tim may make him think I was wanting him to leave." "Did you say anything to reassure him?" "I didn't have a chance. He shot out of here like a bullet." Angela stuck her chin out and put her hands on her hips. "Well, Tony, what are you going to do about it? I've never seen you wimp out ever, but that's what you've been doing since that lunch with Evan. It's time to suck it up and deal with this issue." Then she flounced off. 'I guess I better think of something to do,' Tony thought to himself, recognizing that Angela's corner was going to be cooler for him until he could report that he'd resolved the issue with Evan successfully. *** Once again, Evan found himself in his car on autopilot. His mind was a welter of images and emotions. It seemed that most of his neurotic wrestling over Ron and Tim was justified. Man, did he feel low. 'Why is it,' he asked himself, 'that when something like this happens, I want to turn and run?' No answer was forthcoming. After a couple of minutes, he decided he'd better find someplace else to eat. At first, he couldn't think of anyplace other than a fast food restaurant, which offered no appeal. Then he remembered the cafeteria where Ron and he used to eat before basketball games. That was the place! Quick meal. Left alone. Then home to bury himself in sleep. When he parked in the cafeteria's parking lot, he was still preoccupied. He walked into the cafeteria and down the aisle to the trays, silverware, and servers, looking neither right nor left. He went through the line, making his choices like a robot. At the cash register, he was waiting for his change, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned about, surprised to find Jim Belton smiling at him. "Jim!" Evan exclaimed. "Hey, Evan," Jim smiled. "Come sit with Miles and me." Evan looked around the cafeteria, spotting Miles at a table in a corner. Miles waved him over. "Oh, I don't know," Evan muttered. "Looks like I'd be interrupting something planned. Are you guys on your way to a ballgame?" "Yeah, have you forgotten that Templeton High plays Pratt High tonight? Come to think of it, I didn't see you at the spirit rally today." "Huh?" Evan asked. Jim waited. "Oh, I guess my mind was so full of stuff that I forgot," Evan replied softly. Jim noted Evan's defeated look. "Come on. Miles and I want to talk to you. We won't take 'no' for an answer," Jim replied with some determination. Seated some distance away, Miles was studying the two men at the cash register. 'Wonder what's up now? Evan's hardly eager to join us. Something's wrong,' Miles thought, his elbows on the table, watching Jim turn and take a few steps toward their table, then turn back to see if Evan was following. He wasn't, so Jim waved Evan forward. Evan slowly moved out. When they reached the table, Miles stood while Evan set his tray down, then held out his hand. Evan grasped it and shook it perfunctorily, but Miles wouldn't let Evan's hand go, making Evan look into his eyes. Miles smiled, squeezing Evan's hand in reassurance. "Evan forgot about the ballgame, Miles," Jim said. "His mind is on some other planet, I think. This game with Pratt," Jim said, turning to Evan, "is a big one for Templeton. So what's pulled you out of this universe?" Jim asked as they all seated themselves. Evan placed his napkin in his lap and took a drink of coffee, again preoccupied. "Evan?" Miles asked. Evan sighed in defeat. "I went to Francini's to have dinner, but Ron and Tim Minor are there." Jim and Miles traded glances. "What's Tim Minor doing here?" Miles asked neutrally in his lawyerly way. "Oh yeah," Jim exclaimed. "I'd forgotten that he was to be here for that conference." Jim quickly filled Miles in on Tim's new position and the nature of the conference. "So what are you going to do?" Miles asked. Evan looked down at his plate. "Not a damned thing except go home and lose myself in sleep," he said. Both Miles and Jim could hear charged emotions just under Evan's words. *** Ron decided that he didn't want to wait in the foyer of Francini's Restaurant for Tim to show up for dinner. He didn't want it even remotely to appear that he was dancing attendance upon Tim. After giving the hostess Tim's name, Ron asked to be seated at a booth and ordered a drink. For several reasons, he wasn't feeling very good about this dinner. He hadn't mentioned to Evan that Tim was coming to town and that the two would inevitably see each other. He wasn't certain how Evan would take it - probably badly. He couldn't blame him, but there was no point in putting Evan in a stew for days. Still, now that he looked at it from Evan's perspective, he had probably made a mistake. If Evan learned of it, their dinner would appear clandestine, sneaky. He could too easily guess what fires Evan's demons would light in his imagination. Weeks earlier, Ron had been surprised to find the "Call Back" slip with Tim's name and number in his faculty mail box. He'd known about the conference, but he really hadn't planned to get together with Tim. Memories of his return phone call filled his mental field. "Hi Tim. It's Ron Hamilton, returning your call." "Hey, buddy. Thanks for calling me back. Have you heard about the professional development conference at the Radisson in your fair city?" "Yes, Mary Ellen Branson is quite high about it. I think you're a hero of hers now." Feeling mischievous, Ron added, "You could probably have your way with her any time you wanted." Tim snorted in contempt. "So are you going to the conference?" "Oh yeah. Mary Ellen has approved substitutes for us on Friday. In fact, if one of us didn't attend, his neck would be ready for a noose." "Gee, thanks. It's nice to know you really want to benefit from this conference," Tim replied sarcastically. "No, don't get me wrong," Ron hastened to reassure him. "I think connecting teachers to the real workplace is an important concept. I'm all for it. I answered as I did to let you know that I was definitely going to attend." "Good. You won't be sorry. I called to see if we could have dinner the Thursday evening before the conference starts on Friday. I'd like to talk to you. And I'd like to get away from the hotel since I'll be spending the entire weekend into Monday there. I have good staff who'll be taking care of the conference details. Any chance we could do dinner?" Ron had to screen his reluctance from his voice. "Yes. When and where?" "How about Francini's. Early, say 4:30 for a drink and dinner after. Then I have to get back to the hotel." So they'd arranged to meet. As Ron sat there, nursing his drink, the hostess stopped by his booth with Tim following. He looked good. If anything, he carried himself with more assurance as though he were a person of consequence. Ron guessed that, in fact, Tim was now just that. He looked hotter too. "Hey, Buddy," Tim said, holding out his hand. Ron shook it. Tim gave their waiter his drink order. "You're looking very good," Ron said, "fit, authoritative, happy, I hope." "Oh yeah," Tim replied. "Sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe everything that's happened to me. I like life in your former city. My job has really grown, as you probably know. This conference will start a movement that will produce major benefits not just for teachers but also for their students and the workplace." "I'm already sold," Ron replied, smiling. "You still hooked up with the legislator?" "Yeah, as hooked up as we'll ever be." Tim hesitated only a moment. "Which is as hooked up as I ever NEED to be," he said, blushing slightly, looking down at his menu. "Maybe I'm not put together right," Tim admitted. "Whatever I lack, this arrangement is perfect. I love Brandon Parker, and he loves me. Really!" Tim exclaimed. "I never doubted your capacity to love," Ron stated softly. "I believed you'd never be able to love enough or long enough." Tim pursed his lips. "You know me too well." "Which is why you dumped me," Ron added. Tim finally looked Ron straight in the eyes. "I am different, Ron. I still care for you enough to be honest with you even if it makes me look like a cad." Tim looked away. "I wanted to love you as much as I could. I really did," his eyes swung back to Ron's. "You're a dream. Probably don't even know how much guys lust after you. But you know - I ran out of fear. It was nothing to do with you. You were perfect - hot, honest, true, loving, exciting." He rubbed his sweaty palm up and down the leg of his slacks. "What I'm angry at myself about is not saying anything to you, letting you think you were at fault." He paused. "That was due to weakness on my part. Please accept my apologies. I treated you badly. I'm ashamed for it to this day. You deserved better from me because you gave me better." He waited. "Please, Ron, would you be able to say that you forgive me?" Ron studied Tim, looking deeply into his eyes, seeing how much he'd actually changed internally. "Yes, I forgive you. . . . Why such a change?" Tim shrugged his shoulders. "Job, time, future, especially Brandon, who is a fine man and a wonderful lover. But he keeps me honest with him. Told me right up front that I was what he was looking for - a good fuck buddy who wouldn't demand more of him than he or his political and social position could allow. But we've moved more deeply into each other since then. We talk about it a lot. I told him about you." Tim looked away. "And others." "Does this change of heart," Ron asked, "include only me or others?" Tim groaned. "Let's end this pain. Why don't you just say 'Evan'"? "Well?" Ron insisted. "You know it includes Evan too. Alan as well except that both of us knew our relationship was an interim arrangement. Other than Brandon, Evan and you are the best things that ever happened to me." He gulped down part of his drink. "Evan was dangerous - so needy with his injury but needy on a deeper level too. And there was cute Jeremy as a son. A lot of things I'd always secretly dreamed about having. I was being sucked in too quickly, too much. It scared the hell out of me." "You hurt Evan, Tim," Ron replied quietly but pointedly. "Hurt him badly. Letting him find out about Alan from his students. Not explaining anything. Taunting him. Freezing him out of the going-away party for you. And then setting it up to look like Evan stiffed you. You merely quit talking to me, leaving me to my own conclusions. But you went out of your way to punish Evan. He never hurt you at all. But you punished him!" Ron said with ever increasing vehemence. He was aware that his protective side had kicked in because he loved Evan. Tim shook his head, elevating his hand slightly from the tabletop as though to stop Ron from advancing. "I know, I know. I was fighting the guilt I was feeling about running from him. I hated myself actually, which made me mistreat Evan and Alan. I don't know - maybe I thought if I treated Evan shabbily enough, made him angry enough, he'd stomp off in a huff after saying something hurtful to me. Then my behavior would be justified and I could leave town with a clear conscience. Of course, he didn't do that. I've beaten myself up many times over my treatment of him. As wrong as it was, I found myself doing the same with Alan." Tim ducked his head, then looked back at Ron. "I arranged for Alan to catch Brandon and me in bed. He moved out immediately. Brandon was pissed that I'd used him that way, which started a bunch of questions about Evan. When I answered them, he hopped out of bed and gave me a tongue-lashing I'll never forget. Then he dressed and stormed out. He wouldn't see me for a week. I was really afraid I'd lost him. I know - the irony isn't lost on me. Brandon was making me feel what I made you three guys feel. And others," he said softly. "So?" Ron asked. "When I left your message, I left a message for Evan to call me, but he never did. I didn't think he would." There was only a brief pause before Tim asked, "Is Evan attending the conference?" "I don't really know," Ron replied. "I haven't talked to him recently." "What's wrong?" Tim asked. "I thought you two were a couple." "Well . . . we've taken a time out, I guess you'd say." "Time out? Why?" Tim asked, vexation apparent in his voice. "We realized that we were relating only on a sexual level. We wanted more, but we realized we'd have to start at 'Go' to get on the right footing. That's where we are now." The two diners were so intent in their conversation that they didn't notice Tony Francini standing in the doorway to the dining room, observing them closely. "So do you see each other often?" Ron had paused. "Not often." "Damn it, Ron!" Tim exclaimed, sitting up ramrod straight. "I really maneuvered to get you two together, and then you let it fall apart. Your being a couple was important to me. I was trying to make up to you what I'd done to each of you," Tim said, his anger thinly veiled. "Oh come off it," Ron said just as angrily. "Why'd you send your buddy Randall after us with that sex slave ploy." Off to the side, Tony concentrated on them as their gestures vigorously punctuated their words. He recognized a quietly controlled argument occurring. "It was a stroke of genius!" Tim replied. "I knew if you two were flagging, Randall would drive you closer together. And he did. Right?" "Right," Ron said with some resignation. The waiter arrived to take their dinner orders, which allowed them some cooling off time. When the waiter left, Tim asked with a little attitude, "So is it over with you two?" "I hope not," Ron stated emphatically. "I love Evan, Tim. I can't imagine not having him in my life. Every little thing we discover about each other adds to our love. At the right point, we'll cement our bond with sex. I won't allow that to happen until the moment is right. I want this to last forever. So you see, you didn't fail. Evan and I are just on our own timetable, not anybody else's. We've got a couple of buddies who are supporting us, Miles Frobisher, Evan's attorney, and Jim Belton. "Jim, the janitor! Is Jim gay?" "Yes," Ron said smiling. "Miles and Jim are a great couple." "I'd heard through the grapevine that Jim had divorced, but I didn't know it would lead to this. I'm glad that they're your buddies. You make me envious. Buddies are something that Brandon and I can't have. Too risky for him." Tim looked off into space for a few seconds. "It would be so great to have a couple of guys we could pal around with, socialize with. But we even have to be careful about how many times we are seen in public together. No more times than a citizen would expect a legislator who's a champion of education and a state education official to have reason to talk. That's not enough times for us. Usually then we meet at my condo," Tim related somewhat wistfully. He was absorbed in thought for a bit. "Once I flew to New York to join Brandon at a conference. It was wonderful, Ron. For a few days, we could let down our guard and be two guys in love without much fear of being observed." Then Tim suddenly shook his head as though to send thoughts or images in flight. "For the first time ever in my life, maybe, I have to be happy with what I have. I don't want to run." The waiter brought their meals, which they started in silence. "Ron, I want to talk to Evan. It seems that he won't come to me, so I'll have to go to him. I've got to tell you, I'd rather enter a cage of lions than go see Evan. Any suggestions?" "As you correctly guessed, Evan won't come anywhere near you. You'll have to go to him. Visit him at his home, not the school. Tell him exactly what you felt about him and exactly why you had to step out of the relationship. I believe he's already figured it out. Given the history of his relationships, he'll think you dropped him because there's something wrong with him. Your punishing him pretty much confirmed that in his mind. Now you have to reverse that damage. There's no way you will sound genuine if you hold back or protect yourself. Be as honest with him as you have been with me." (To be continued.) Maybe this posting so proximate to Valentine's Day will make Chapter 40 seem like an expression of appreciation for the readers of "Ambush." You wouldn't be incorrect in that impression.