Disclaimer:
All other content or otherwise are works of my own
imagination. All events are fictitious in nature.
Any
similarities to persons living, dead, or otherwise are purely
coincidental.
This story contains strong themes of homosexual
content, if this offends you in any way, please refrain from reading
further. If you are not of legal age to read this, please leave
now.
A/N:
I'd like to thank TalonRider for editing this chapter. His
unparalleled brilliance and tiresome effort applied to my work is
greatly appreciated. Thank you.
American
Differences
-By Emulated
Chapter 11: Support
Connor
led them to the door, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow
then?”
Matt nodded as he stepped out of the door,”
Yep, we’ll be here at our usual time.”
“Yeah.”
Added Jamie, as he followed Matt, “We’ll see you
later.”
“Ok, see you tomorrow, bye.”
Responded Connor.
“Bye.” They replied in unison
before he closed the door.
Connor stood there and smiled to
himself. There was just something that warmed him whenever he saw
Matt and Jamie together. And while he never knew that they were a
couple until Matt told him the day before, there was always something
there that he couldn’t put his finger on.
Just the way
they interacted or shared a look with each other, it was clear that
something else was going on. That they were more than just friends.
Connor never thought that they were a couple, not because he was
trying to ignore it, but simply because he wasn’t looking or
expecting it.
Had Connor ever suspected Matt as being gay?
Sure he did, there were the few times where he’d begin to
wonder about his best friend’s sexuality, but for the most
part, he didn’t really give it that much thought. Matt
was…well…he was Matt. That was all that mattered to
him. He couldn’t care less if his best friend was gay,
straight, bi, or whatever. He was still Matt.
Connor had his
parents to thank for that attitude. Ever since he was little, he
could remember that his parents taught him to respect and care for
all people. As long as they were a nice person, that was it. From a
young age he was taught that some men like women, some men like other
men and some women like other women. To Connor it was all the same,
there was no difference.
When he started high school, where he
began to see the world through the eyes of a young adult, he realised
that the world didn’t see things as he did. Not only in school,
but also in society in general, on the TV, on the Internet, on the
radio, it seemed that everyone had their own opinion about gay
people. And he could never understand some of the opinions and
feelings that these people harboured towards them.
Connor
shook himself from the daze and looked up the stairs, knowing that
Max was up there. He knew what he wanted to say, but he wasn’t
sure how to say it, quite an unusual thing to happen to someone who
often spoke their mind. After pausing for a moment, he walked
forwards and headed up the stairs. After the short ascent, he entered
his room and saw Max sitting there, still playing on the Playstation.
“Alright, let’s talk.” Began Connor, as he
sat on the bed next to him.
Max looked at him, “About
what?”
“About you.” He replied, “And
Matt.”
Max’s eyes flicked to the floor.
“You
must have something to say, I mean, you’re here and
everything.” He said, looking at his reaction, “I don’t
get what you’re afraid o-“
“I’m not
afraid.” He shot back, “Why does everyone say that? I’m
not afraid of him.”
“Who said that?”
“Matt
did, earlier.”
Connor sighed, “Then what’s
your problem? Why don’t you like gay people?”
Max
thought for a moment, “Why should I?”
Connor
frowned, “Because they’re people.” He looked closer
at him, “You’re not racist, but you don’t like gay
people.”
“They’re different.”
“How?”
He asked, “It’s still being hurtful.”
Max
looked at him, “It’s still different.”
“You
wouldn’t make a comment about Li being Chinese, or Ayo being
black, so why would you insult Matt for being gay?”
Max
shook his head.
Connor leaned closer, “It’s the
same thing. Exactly
the same thing.” He sat back, “It’s discrimination
and that’s wrong. Just wrong, Max.”
“I
know.”
“Yet you sit there unable to tell me why
you hate Matt so much. I thought he was your friend.”
“He
is…I mean…”
“What? Don’t you
like him anymore?”
Max looked at him, “He’s…different
now.”
Connor shrugged, “He likes boys. Big
deal.”
His eyes widened slightly, “It is to
me.”
“But why?” Connor looked at him
closely, “Did something happen to you?”
Max looked
at him, “What?”
Connor took in a breath, “Did
a boy…you know, try to do something with you?”
He
shot him a disgusted look, “No!”
He raised his
hands, “Hey, I was just asking.” He paused, “I’m
just trying to figure out why you dislike them.”
Max
shifted on the bed.
“Has a gay person ever done anything
bad to you?”
Max remained
silent.
“Well?”
“No.”
Connor
shook his head, “Then what is it Max?” He asked, raising
his voice slightly, “There has to be a reason why you got your
friend kicked out of his own home!”
“It wasn’t
my fault.” He retorted.
“Oh yeah, because you
didn’t shout jack about him being gay.” Mocked
Connor.
Max opened his mouth to reply, but closed it
quickly.
Connor sat there, staring at him, wanting, needing,
an explanation to his behaviour.
“I didn’t mean
it.” Spoke Max quietly.
“Huh?”
“I
didn’t mean…I was angry. I wasn’t thinking.”
He paused, “I shouldn’t have shouted those
things.”
“Damn right.” Replied Connor before
he sighed, “Max, why can’t you just accept Matt and
Jamie?”
“It’s hard.”
He shook
his head, “No, it isn’t.” He was silent for a
moment, “When you kiss a girl, what does it feel like?”
Max
frowned at him.
“Your feelings, is it good, bad?”
“It’s
good.”
Connor nodded, “How would you feel if
people told you that kissing girls was wrong?”
“I’d
be angry.”
“Why?”
“Because it
isn’t wrong.”
“Who says?”
“I
say.”
“Why? Because it feels normal? Because it
feels right?” Asked Connor.
Max looked at him,
“Yeah.”
“I bet you that Matt feels the same
way. Only people do
tell him that it’s wrong to kiss boys. Hell, he’s even
being punished for it.” Connor looked at him, “Have you
been punished for kissing a girl? I haven’t.”
Max
shook his head, “No.”
“Then why should
Matt?”
Max remained silent.
“Look, I don’t
know why Matt’s gay and I don’t know why we’re
straight. All I know is that it just turned out like that. No one
chose it.”
“He can choose not to
kiss…boys.”
“Would you go through your
whole life never kissing girls?”
“No.”
Connor
looked at him, “That’s what I’m trying to say. Matt
may be gay, straight or whatever, but he’s still a person. He’s
still a guy.” He looked into Max’s eyes, “He’s
still our friend.”
*
Jamie lay back on his bed
and giggled, “I love you too, Matt.” He said into his
phone.
“God, I wish you were here with me right now.”
Came Matt’s reply.
Jamie frowned, “I thought you
said things were going alright?”
“Oh, they are,
it’s just that I’d like to be with you.”
“Me
too, babes.” Replied Jamie, “Have you eaten yet?”
Matt
giggled, “Yeah, I didn’t eat with them though.”
“Oh,
I’m sorry.”
“No, I just didn’t want
a confrontation with them again. Not today.” He paused,
“Josh ate with me though.”
Jamie nodded,
“Yeah? How is he managing?”
“He’s
happy that I’m back, seriously Jamie, the guy’s never
been so happy to see me!”
“You’re his
brother, it makes sense.”
“Yeah, yeah it does.
What about Sam, how is she doing?”
“Oh, she’s
ok. She hasn’t really said much, but she did tell me that she
loves me today.”
“Awww, that’s sooo
cute!” Replied Matt.
“Shut up.” Giggled
Jamie, “Nah, it was nice of her to say that.”
“What
about your mum?” He asked.
“She’s
trying, you know? Actually, you affected her quite a bit
yesterday.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No,
no babes, I meant in a good way.” He paused, “Whatever
you said to her when you came over must have done something, she
seemed a little happier today.”
“I didn’t
do anything.”
“Perhaps it was just her seeing
you, hearing what had happened.”
“Yeah.”
There was a slight pause before Matt spoke again, “I’ve
been thinking, Jamie, I think there’s some people who could
help us.”
“Help us? What do you mean?”
“I’m
talking about with our parents, well, mine actually.”
“Who
are you thinking about?” Asked Jamie.
“Connor’s
parents.”
“You’ve mentioned them
before.”
“Yeah, well I think they can help.
They’re ok with gay people and they’ve known my parents
for a long time…” Matt said, trailing off.
“You
should tell them, if they can help you at home, then do it.”
“But
I will have to tell them about us, about you.”
“I
know, I’m ok with that.” Replied Jamie.
“You
sure? I won’t tell them if you don’t want me to.”
“No,
tell them.”
Matt paused for a moment, “Ok.”
“When
were you thinking of telling them?” asked Jamie.
“I
dunno, perhaps sometime tomorrow, after school.”
“Ok,
we can sort it out tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
Replied Matt, stifling a yawn.
“Am I keeping
sleeping beauty awake?” Giggled Jamie.
Matt giggled,
“I’m just tired, it’s hard to sleep when…you
know.”
“Yeah, I do.” There was a slight
pause, before Jamie spoke again, “Anyway, I’ll let you
get some sleep.”
Matt yawned again, “Yeah, I
think I need that.”
“Goodnight, babes. Love
you.”
“Love you too. Goodnight.”
Jamie
hung up the phone and looked at the clock, 9:14. He knew that
Matt didn’t usually go to bed so early, but the events of the
last few days had obviously taken its toll on him. Although it was
better that he was back in his home, Jamie wished that Matt was there
with him instead, so he could cuddle up and hold him close as he fell
asleep.
KNOCK KNOCK
Jamie sat up on his bed,
“Come in.”
The handle turned and the door opened,
revealing Noah standing there, “You ok, Jamie?”
He
nodded, “Yeah I just spoke to Matt.”
Noah entered
the room and closed the door behind him, before he walked over and
sat next to his son, “How’s he doing?”
“He’s
ok.” He said, “It’s just…things are so
messed up for him, with his parents and all.” He looked up at
his dad, “Why are they like that to him?”
Noah
sighed, “I wish I had an answer.”
Jamie studied
him for a second, “You wasn’t like that.” He
pointed out.
“You’re my son. And you always will
be, no matter what.” Replied Noah.
“But how are
you so accepting and stuff?” He paused, “Grandma and
Grandpa aren’t like you.” He said, recalling some of the
comments that he’d heard his grandparents use about gay
people.
Noah wrapped an arm around his son’s shoulders,
“I know, I’m sorry about them.”
“It’s
ok, it’s not your fault.” He looked at him, “So why
aren’t you like them?”
Noah sighed, “Well,
it wasn’t like there was one thing that made me accept gay
people, it took time.”
“So you wasn’t always
like this?”
“No, I used to say some stupid things,
things that I didn’t understand properly. I was young then,
around your age, but as time passed and as I grew older, I began to
realise what those words meant and why I shouldn’t use
them.”
“What made you change?”
Noah
thought for a minute, “I guess it was a few things. Where I
lived, where I worked. I also knew a few gay people, some before they
came out, so that made me change a bit, just realising that they were
always the same.”
“You know, I was going to tell
you.” Began Jamie, “About a year ago.”
“What
changed your mind?” Asked Noah.
“We were getting
ready to move here, I didn’t want to mess things up.”
Noah
leaned and kissed his son on his head, “You will never mess
things up.” He paused, “I’m sorry if you thought
that I was busy with the move, I always had time for you and your
sister.”
Jamie shook his head, “I know, I just
didn’t want to stress you out or anything.” He said,
looking up at his dad, “And I didn’t know how you’d
react.”
“Oh Jamie, I could never hate you.”
“Look
at Matt’s parents, I bet they said the same things to
him.”
Noah nodded, “Yeah, probably.” He
looked at Jamie, “But I know that you’re gay and I’m
telling you that I don’t hate you. I love you.”
“I
love you too, Dad.”
*
It was lunchtime in
school and so far everything had gone ok. Well, I had pretty much
avoided my parents this morning before I left for school, so I don’t
know how they were, but that aside, things were going ok.
I
looked across at Max sitting opposite me at the table in the dining
hall. Jamie and Connor had gone off to get their stuff to eat, so I
held the table with Max. He had been really quiet throughout the day.
I noticed him glance briefly at Jamie and myself several times, but
other than that, he didn’t make any sign to acknowledge us. At
least he was back to sitting at our table today, unlike yesterday, so
that’s a step forwards. But after last night around Connor’s
home, I thought that he’d really begun to change some. I guess
I was hoping for a bit too much. I should let him adapt to things at
his own pace.
And just as I thought that, he stood up,
grabbed his bag and walked away. I sat there confused for a few
seconds, before Ayo plopped himself down where Max was
sitting.
“Hey, what’s up with Max? He seemed
really out of it for the past few days.”
I looked at
him, wondering where he came from, “I’m not sure.”
He
looked at me, “You’re not sure? I thought he hanged
around with you and Connor.”
I nodded, “He does,
but he’s keeping himself to himself.”
“I
see.” He leaned closer, “So it wouldn’t have
anything to do with him finding out about you?”
I
flinched at that but otherwise kept a straight face, “What
about me?” I asked. What was with people ambushing me on this
table? I’m going with Connor and Jamie from now on!
“I
don’t need to spell it out, do I?” He asked. He wasn’t
being offensive, more like inquisitive, but it was still making me
uncomfortable.
I leaned closer, “You’re not still
on about that ‘gay thing’ are you? I’ve already
told you, I’m not gay.”
“Oh come on! Back at
the party, you were so obvious.” He said.
I looked
closely at him, checking to see if he was bluffing, if he was trying
to catch me out, “You got it all wrong, Ayo.”
“Really?”
He asked.
“Yeah, really.”
“So if I
asked Max if you’re gay, he’d say no, right?”
I
thought for a moment, I was pretty sure that Max would deny it if Ayo
asked him, “Yeah, go ahead, but I don’t think you’ll
get him to say much.”
“Dammit Matt, why you being
so difficult?”
“Why won’t you just drop it?”
I said, getting louder, but I quickly lowered my voice and continued,
“What do you want to hear? You want me to say that I’m
dating Jamie?”
He shook his head, “I want you to
know that I’m here, as a friend.”
I sighed, “If
you’re a friend, why are you interrogating me?”
He
looked at me for a moment, “You’re right, I’m
sorry.” He said standing up, “Just forget I said
anything, k?”
“Ayo-“ I began.
“No,
I shouldn’t ask you about that, it’s none of my
business.” He paused, “Just know that I’m here.”
He said before he walked off.
Well, if things weren’t
confusing enough with Max, now Ayo had come along and spiced things
up a bit. My life just kept getting better and better. After a couple
more minutes, Jamie and Connor finally appeared. I waited until they
sat down before I spoke.
“Ayo just came and talked to
me.” I said, looking at Jamie, “He knows about us.”
“You
sure?” He asked.
I nodded, “Yeah.”
He
thought for a second, “Did you tell him anything?” He
asked. He wasn’t accusing me, he was just asking a simple
question.
I frowned, “Of course not, I told you I’d
never tell anyone unless we both agreed.”
“I just
wanted to check.” He paused, “Did you want to tell
him?”
I opened my mouth to reply, but closed it. I was
going to say no, but something made me stop. Did I want to tell
Ayo that I was gay?
“I’m not sure, Jamie.”
I said, looking at him, “Part of me wants to keep it quiet, but
part of me wants it to be out in the open.”
“Maybe
you guys should tell him.” Said Connor.
I looked at
him.
“Well he guessed most of it and he seems like he
can be trusted. Didn’t he say that he has a gay cousin?”
I
nodded, “Yeah, he said that.” I looked at Jamie again, “I
dunno, what do you think?”
He thought for a moment,
“Tell him, he seems like a decent guy and like Connor said, he
virtually knows anyway, somehow.”
“Yeah, ok. I’ll
tell him.” I replied. And just like that, we had decided to
come out to another person. While it sounded like we didn’t
know Ayo that much, in reality, I had known the guy for years, I was
certain that we could trust him. Jamie and I agreed that I would be
the one to tell him, given the fact that he’s known me longer.
I was to tell him after school as he walked home, that way there
would be few people about and I’d be alone with him.
*
I looked at Jamie, “I’ll
catch up with you later.”
“Ok, good
luck.”
“Thanks.” I replied as I turned away
and scanned my eyes across the kids exiting the school. I stood there
for a few minutes and began to wonder if I missed him but
fortunately, I caught sight of him as he stepped out of the main
school building. I watched as he walked in my direction and walked
out of the gate.
“Hey!” I called out, causing Ayo
to turn around and look at me. “Mind if I walk with you?”
I asked.
He nodded slowly, “Sure.”
I
started to walk alongside him. I wasn’t sure about the exact
location of his home, but given the direction that he was heading, it
must be somewhere near mine. Jamie, Connor and the others left a
while ago, so it was unlikely that we’d bump into them, which
was good as I’d rather speak to Ayo alone.
After a few
minutes, we found ourselves walking through the park. There were a
few kids walking home, but other than that it was quite empty. As we
approached an empty bench I pointed to it, “Can we
sit?”
“Ok...” He said, sounding unsure.
We
sat down and was quiet for a few seconds before I turned to him, “I
guess you know what I’m going to say, right?”
Ayo
turned to me, “No, you don’t have to say anything.”
I
raised a hand, “It’s ok.”
He shook his head,
“No, I shouldn’t have pressured you today, I’m
sorry.”
“Ayo, it’s ok. I…want to tell
you.” I said, looking at him.
He stared at me for a
moment before he nodded.
I turned to him, “Ayo, I’m
gay.” I said, pausing for a second, “And I’m dating
Jamie.”
He watched me carefully before he reached out
and squeezed my shoulder, “Thank you, for telling me.”
I
shrugged, “You practically knew anyway.”
“Still,
it was brave of you.” He said, removing his hand, “How
long have you two been together? I’m guessing that it was
before the party.”
I nodded, “Yeah, we’ve
been together since he, um, started.”
He raised his
eyebrows, “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow,
you moved in pretty quick.” He remarked.
I smiled, “I
couldn’t give the girls a chance.”
He laughed,
“Yeah.”
I sat there for a moment, looking at him,
“Ayo, are you really straight?”
He laughed again,
“Yeah, I’m really straight. Why do you ask?”
I
shook my head, “Dunno, I just…you seemed to know
everything.”
He smiled again, “Like I said, it
wasn’t that hard to figure out.”
“I know,
but no one else has.” I said, before I felt a shiver down my
spine. Ayo noticed my change in mood.
“What?”
I
looked at him, “What if other people do know? What if they
figured it out too.”
“You’re not THAT
obvious. You have to know what to look for, besides, you practically
told me anyway.”
“What? When?”
“At
the party, when you pulled me away.”
I frowned, “I
told you that I wasn’t gay.”
He smiled, “Yeah,
you did, but you’re a terrible liar.”
I looked
away and then back to him, “Am I really that bad?”
He
nodded, “A bit, but I was kinda in your face though.”
I
thought for a moment, “But Jamie and I, we’re not
obvious?”
“No, not really. Just don’t hold
his hand or give him a kiss, and you should be alright.”
I
blushed, “I’ll try to manage that.” I smiled at
him, “Thanks, Ayo.”
“You’re welcome,
Matt.”
*
I
sat down opposite Amanda and Terry Reed, Connor’s parents. I
had known them ever since Connor and I became friends, around 12
years ago. As parents go, they were the best, well my own parents
moved down in the ranks some in my opinion, still I was sure that
they could help me, in some way.
“I’ll leave you
guys-“ Began Connor, but I cut him off.
“No, you
can stay. If you want.”
He looked at me for a moment
before he came and sat down next to me.
“What’s
the problem, Matt?” Asked Amanda.
I waited for a few
seconds, “I have something to tell you guys…” I
said, looking at their faces. I took in a breath, “I’m
gay.”
They stared at me for a moment before they turned
and gave each other a knowing glance.
“What’s
wrong?” I asked.
Amanda turned to me, “Nothing,
well, Terry and I discussed this a year or so ago, when you came on
holiday with us.” I thought for a moment before I remembered
what they meant. About a year ago, Connor and his parents invited
Josh and me to a short holiday to a resort next to the coast. It was
only supposed to be a cheap getaway and nothing special, but it
turned out to be really fun, not to mention all the eye candy that
was there. Seriously. It was like the entire place was filled with
teenage boys! I was going mental. I suppose there were some girls
there too, but I didn’t take any notice of them. The boys are
what held my attention. The whole time I thought I was being covert
in my ogling, clearly I was wrong.
I blushed, “Oh, that
holiday.”
Terry laughed, “Yes, that one.”
Connor
looked at us, “What? What happened on the holiday?”
Terry
turned to him, “You remember how you were eyeing up all the
girls?” He asked, causing Connor to blush, “Well Matt
wasn’t looking at the girls…”
Connor
thought for a moment before he smiled, “You were checking out
the guys?”
I blushed, “Yeah, and?”
He
laughed at that.
I looked at his parents, “So you guys
knew?”
“We suspected it, yes. But we never really
knew, until now.” Replied Amanda.
“Oh.”
Connor
leaned towards me, “Tell them about Jamie.” He
whispered.
“Oh, yeah.” I said, facing towards
them, “I’m kinda with someone.”
“Really?
Who?” Asked his mum.
“Jamie.”
“Wow,
you and Jamie?” Asked Terry.
I nodded, “Yep.”
Amanda
smiled, “You certainly have good taste in men.” She
remarked turning to Connor, “And I was just telling you
yesterday how sweet and good-looking that boy is.”
I
began to blush, but Connor came to my rescue, “Mum!” He
called out, but grinning himself.
“What? He is a nice
boy.” She said, looking at me, “It’s good that you
have someone.”
“Uh, thanks.” I said.
“Leave
the boy alone Amanda, you’re embarrassing him.” Said
Terry.
“I was only joking, Matt knows that.” She
replied before turning to me, “How are your parents taking it?”
Asked Amanda.
I shook my head, “Really badly, well, they
didn’t exactly find out in the best way.”
I spent
the next few minutes filling them in about the happenings of the last
few days. It felt as though I was telling the story for the hundredth
time.
Amanda sat next to me and hugged me, “Oh Matt, I’m
so sorry.”
“I’ve known Joe and Monica for a
long time but I’d never expect them to act like this.”
I
nodded, “I knew that they would take it badly, but I didn’t
think they’d…” I said, feeling my throat
swell.
“It’s ok sweetie, it’s ok.” She
said squeezing me, “Just relax. Let us worry about things now.”
Thank
you for reading Chapter 11 of American Differences.
Any
comments and constructive criticisms are greatly appreciated.
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respond to every email, so feel free to send me a message, even
if
it's just to say, “Hello!”
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Again!
Emulated
Copyright © 2009 By Emulated