Disclaimer:
All other content or otherwise are works of my own
imagination. All events are fictitious in nature.
Any
similarities to persons living, dead, or otherwise are purely
coincidental.
This story contains strong themes of homosexual
content, if this offends you in any way, please refrain from reading
further. If you are not of legal age to read this, please leave
now.
A/N:
I'd like to thank TalonRider for editing this chapter. His
unparalleled brilliance and tireless effort applied to my work is
greatly appreciated. Thank you.
American
Differences
-By Emulated
Chapter 20: The Weekend: Part II
I
leaned closer and placed my lips against his warm, moist shoulder. I
pulled back and watched as the hot spray cascaded over his smooth,
tanned skin.
Jamie and I were in the shower; washing away
the evidence from our...well, from our activity.
Sigh.
I swear, it should be illegal to do those things
with Jamie. He was just so perfect, you know? As though someone had
searched the entire world for everything nice and then turned it into
a boy. That boy was Jamie, and he was all mine.
As I stood
there behind him in the cubicle, I began to wonder how it was
possible to be so much in love with someone. Sure you had people say
that all the time, mostly men and women, but what I felt towards
Jamie was love. It had to be love. The excitement of having them
close, the feeling of loss when they were away, doing foolish things
without thinking; I had all the symptoms. I was in love.
Jamie
turned around and faced me, his eyes searching mine, and a grin
present on his face. I loved seeing him smile, seeing him happy. But
it truly made me weak to the knees when I knew I
was the reason for his happiness.
He leaned closer, rubbing
his nose against mine, "I love you." He whispered, melting
my heart.
"I love you too, babes." I whispered
back as I pecked him on his soft cheek.
We started to wash
each other in the shower. Admittedly, we had a few problems arise,
but two orgasms later, we were doing just fine.
After the
shower, and subsequent getting dressed, Jamie and I headed downstairs
and made ourselves some lunch. It was so relaxing and loving to be
with him like that. From rolling about in his bed, to the shower, to
sitting at his dining table; we didn’t have to hide. Our love
was present for all to see. Well, the house was vacant, and the
blinds were closed, but inside we made it our little paradise, our
utopia.
I stared at him from across the table, my eyes roaming
his, "You know, I'm sure you're straight."
Jamie
raised an eyebrow at me, "And you say that after everything I
just did to you?"
"Don't you mean what we did
together?"
He shook his head, "No, what I
did to you."
He repeated, looking at me, "Besides, how exactly am I
straight?"
I shrugged, "I dunno..." I replied,
pausing, "You just seem like a ladies' man."
He
giggled, "Ladies' man?"
I nodded, "Yeah. I'd
never of guessed that you were available."
"I could have said the same about you." He pointed
out.
"Yeah, but it was just the way you have the girls
around you and stuff."
He laughed at that, "I can't
help being irresistible
to both sexes..." He smirked, "Are you jealous, Matt?"
I eyed his blond locks, still damp from the shower, "What?!?
Of course not!"
"You sure?" He quizzed, "You
weren't too happy about Li fancying me."
I frowned at
the mention of her name, but came up with a smart reply, "You
think I'm jealous if her? No, she
should be jealous of me."
I paused, "Especially after everything I just did to you."
I said, blushing slightly at my own words.
Jamie raised his
eyebrows, "Oh? And what did you just do to me?" He asked,
giving me that stare if his.
I thought of something to say,
but found myself blushing madly.
Jamie sat there, laughing
at me.
I stared at him for a second before I stood up,
walked over to him, and pulled his lips to mine. After a few moments,
I pulled back and grinned at him.
“Mmm, I remember now.”
He whispered, licking his lips seductively.
I walked back over
to my chair and sat down, taking a sip of my drink again, “So,
Mr Keller, what are we going to do today?”
“We
could go into town if you want.”
“Sounds good.”
I said, looking at him, “Just us or shall we call the
guys?”
He thought for a moment before he smiled, “Just
us.” He said, “I want you all to myself today.” He
winked.
I blushed lightly, “I think I can manage
that.”
We sat there for a about another half-hour, just
talking casually, or stealing longing glances at each other. I think
part of me was still in Jamie’s bed, while the other half was
in the shower. Sitting at the table was just a shell, a shell on
cloud nine.
We eventually decided to head into town. It was
quite nice, just Jamie and I; something of a rarity, given how there
was usually someone accompanying us. But now that both our closest
friends and family knew about us, I guess they could understand and
respect our need for a little ‘us’ time.
As we
walked around town, I couldn’t help but look at all the people.
Specifically I was looking at all the couples, most of whom were
holding hands. I thought about that a lot back then, the idea of
holding hands with another boy. To all the straight couples it was
second nature, they’d reach out, grab their hand, and off they
went. But for me, to extend my hand out, would be telling the world
who I was. What I was. And I wasn’t quite ready for that. Worse
still, it would have made the following couple of minutes much harder
than they were.
Jamie and I had just walked out of Game,
a store that, surprisingly, specialises in video games. We didn’t
buy anything, mostly because we were out of pocket, but there wasn’t
really anything worth buying anyway. Speaking of which, I began to
wonder if my parents were still going to keep up with my monthly
allowance that they put in my bank account. It was an automatic thing
that their bank done, but I guessed they could have cancelled it. No.
That would have been too far, right? I mean they wouldn’t have
cut me off that much, surely? I crunched over my thoughts for another
second, before someone called out my name.
“Matthew!”
I
knew the voice instantly. Praying that I was wrong, I turned around,
my eyes focusing on the three people walking towards me. No, I was
right.
“I thought that was you.” She said, “We
haven’t seen you in quite a while.”
I managed a
weak smile at my auntie, Claire, as she hugged me. “Oh, hi
guys.” I said, as pulled back and looked at the other two. My
uncle, Steven, and my twenty-one-year-old cousin, Craig. They lived
about an hour or so away from my house, so unless they were visiting
us, there’d be no other reason for them to have travelled that
far. I panicked, hoping that they had other plans instead. Better
still, I was hoping they hadn’t just left my house, where my
parents could have told them everything!
They smiled back,
“How have you been keeping?” Asked Steven, as he shook my
hand.
I thought about that. They wouldn’t have asked
that if they ‘knew’ about me already. I nodded, “Yeah,
I’m fine thanks.”
Their eyes shifted to Jamie.
I
glanced at my blond beauty, “This is Jamie, a friend from
school.” I said, “Jamie, this is my auntie, Claire, my
uncle, Steven, and my cousin, Craig.”
He flashed them a
smile, “Hi.”
Claire nodded, “It’s nice
to meet you, Jamie.” She said, turning to me, “I’m
sure your mum mentioned him to me.”
I tried not to let
the panic show on my face, “Erm, well he only came to England
this year so…”
She nodded, “Yes, that’s
what it was.” She said.
I relaxed some before I glanced
at Craig. His eyes were narrowed at Jamie, as though he was analysing
him. As though he was trying to figure out who, or what he was. That
frightened me some, not because he could tell who Jamie was to me
from a stare, but the fact that Craig was quite a homophobe. Couple
that with the fact that he had quite a hot head, I wished that I
wouldn’t be around to see his immediate reaction when he
finally found out about me. Physically he was both slightly taller
and larger than myself, standing at 5’11”. He had light
brown hair, which was currently spiked up, and was about average in
the looks department. Of course, that never stopped him from always
having a girlfriend of some sort.
Craig must have noticed the
evils that I was giving him, because he turned and looked at me,
“What?” He asked with a slight grin. While Craig was a
homophobe, and was apparently not the best behaved pupil in school,
he was always quite pleasant to his family, myself included. In fact,
before I knew what ‘dirty queers’ meant, Craig was my
favourite cousin. Funny how things change…
“You
had something flying around your head.” I replied, “Looked
like a bee.”
Claire stepped back and looked at him, “Oh,
be careful Craig. Remember the one I saw earlier, it was
huge!”
Craig glanced about to his mother’s desire,
but his eyes returned to mine soon after. I couldn’t tell for
certain, but I think he knew something was up.
“Anyway,
we’ll let you go now, as we’ll see you later anyway.”
Replied Steven.
I looked at him, “Sorry?”
“We’re
going to pop in and say ‘hi’ to your parents, and Josh.”
He replied, “We know they’ve been really busy with work
for the past week.” He explained, “No one in the family
has managed to speak to them much.” He said, with a slight
chuckle.
“Hehehe, yeah.” I said nervously, my mind
going one-hundred miles an hour. Really busy at work? No one’s
spoken to them? That must have been the excuse Mum and Dad used, at
least they haven’t told anyone yet. But oh how that was about
to change. I began to wonder if they even knew about Claire and
Steven coming to visit. Probably not. Wait a minute! Isn’t
there a law against popping up uninvited to families’ houses?
Can’t we send them away until we’re ready for
them?
“That’s great then. We’ll see you
later.” Said Steven as they began to drift away.
I
nodded my head, “Yeah, bye guys.” I said, noting how
Craig’s eyes were now focused on the both of us, before he
turned and walked in the opposite direction.
Once they were
out of sight, Jamie turned to me, “You alright?”
I
turned to him, “Not really...” I began.
He looked
at me, “We’ll figure it out. Perhaps we could come up
with some kind of excuse of why you can’t be there.” He
said, before he frowned slightly, “And what’s wrong
with…Craig?”
“You mean apart from being a
stupid homophobe with his head up-“ I began to rant, before I
realised where I was.
Jamie’s lip curled at the edge, “I
think that sums it up.”
I looked at him, “He’s
a bastard. Did you see the way that he was looking at you?”
“Yeah,
but it was no match for that killer stare of yours!” He
giggled, “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”
I
managed a smile, “You’ll never be on my bad side.”
I promised, before I thought about what happened. More to the point,
I began to wonder about what I should do. I found my self reaching
into my pocket, retrieving my phone.
“Who you
calling?”
I looked at the display, “Home.”
*
The
call home to my parents was strained to say the least. Even though
only two days had gone by since I last saw them, it still seemed like
weeks had passed. Connor’s party the night before, Jamie and I
in bed together that very morning; it was as though I was starting my
life again, but this time I was at the other end of the tunnel. Only
now it seemed that something was trying to push me back in, shove me
back into that cold, dark hole.
It was my dad who answered,
probably for the best. Out of the two, he seemed to be the one who
handled it the best. Hell, he even wanted me to stay. Of course that
wouldn’t have happened anyway, they needed some time, and from
the way he sounded on the phone, two days was nowhere near long
enough. He was tired. I could hear it. And deep down, I too, was just
as tired as he was. I craved to go back home, to stand in my room, to
sleep in my sheets. I mean, how long did I realistically expect
Connor’s parents to care for me? A week? Two at the most? No, I
think I’m being unfair there. They told me I could stay there
as long as I wanted, and knowing the Reed family, that’s
exactly what they meant.
On the phone, Dad seemed as surprised
as I was that Mum’s sister was in town. It took us a few
minutes, but we ultimately decided that I would make a brief
appearance, but then I’d leave and go to Connor’s house,
stating that I had other plans. That was fine by me, the last thing I
wanted to do was hang around with them lot for the whole day. My
stomach was already doing back flips. I couldn’t wait…as
if…
*
“Oh,
Matthew’s doing just fine at school.” Replied my mum as
she looked across at me in the lounge.
I slurped some of my
coke, nodding at her. I’d been at home for around
twenty-minutes. Fortunately for me, the other guys had already
arrived, so I didn’t have to wait around for them. But even in
those twenty-minutes, it felt like hell. Just sitting there,
listening to my parents go on, acting as though everything was fine
between us. To my surprise, they actually done really well at that.
If it weren’t for the stares they’d send me every so
often, I would
have thought that everything was fine between us.
But it
wasn’t just their stares that bugged me. Craig was also joining
in the fun and was giving me his own looks. I couldn’t figure
out why he was giving me that look. It was as though he ‘sussed’
out what was going on between Jamie and I. But he can’t have
done, not from such a short meeting, surely.
“…girlfriend,
Matt?”
“Huh?” I asked, my ears perking up at
the sound of ‘girlfriend’. It was one of those words that
would send my shields up, and get my tongue at the ready for quick
reply.
Claire turned to me, “I was asking if you had a
girlfriend.”
‘Alright,
you know what to do men!’
Said that voice inside my head, as I formulated my reply, “Not
at the moment.” I replied, noting that my parents were all but
shooting lasers out of their pupils at me.
“What about
Sophie?” Asked Craig, “She’s still around,
right?”
A couple of years back, after I’d
acknowledged the fact that I was gay, Craig and his family came over
to our house. During their stay, Craig was certain
that I had to fancy at least one girl in my year. I held him off for
a while, but in fear of him thinking that I might not be the straight
cousin he knew, and
accepted, I told
him that I fancied Sophie. It wasn’t a bad choice, I mean I
could’ve messed it up and said Hayley, but even then he’d
have no idea who she was, so it wouldn’t have mattered. Still,
he had a name and he was content with that. Fast forward a few years,
and up popped the question again, but this time, the stakes were
raised.
I managed a small smile, “Yeah, she’s
still about. But she’s dating someone.”
“Ah,
must be that Jamie I bet.”
I thought for a few seconds
before I answered, I wanted to throw him right off any trail he might
have, “No, he’s with this girl, Li.” I felt a
little guilty saying that, but after thinking about it further, I
figured that, once I told Jamie, it might actually prompt a round of
giggles from him. I emerged from my daze and listened to the
conversation, relieved that my parents changed the subject topic:
gardening. No one had anything to hide in gardening.
I sat
back in my chair and sipped some more of my Coke. I began to wonder
how they’d react if I were to out myself. Right then, at that
very moment. I wondered what their expressions would be like. I
wondered what my parents’
expressions would have been like. I glanced up at Craig, watching as
he looked at my dad. I wondered if he’d get physical, if he’d
actually try to hurt me. Max, for all his dislike towards
homosexuality, never raised a fist to me. But Craig…I pushed
the thought out of my head. Concentrated on something else. But in
hindsight, I wasn’t stupid enough to really contemplate outing
myself, but just thinking about it never hurt anyone.
I
relaxed in the chair and managed through what I assumed to be an
hour, but was quite surprised when they announced that they were
about to leave. I fished my phone out of my pocket, checked the time,
and realised that I’d been there for nearly three hours! Oh,
how time flies when… forget
it. They mentioned
something about it being a shame not to see Josh, but my parents said
that he was out with family friends. I was actually quite relieved
when I considered that fact. Sure Josh was a smart kid, but I wasn’t
sure how he’d handle a direct question about my sexuality. Not
that Craig would pop out with, “Is your brother gay.” But
I still wasn’t sure of how he’d answer something like
that. At least he wasn’t there to test out his ability in that
regard.
We walked them to the door and waved at them as they
drove off. I bet that would have made a pretty picture. Mum, Dad, and
myself standing in the doorway, like one ‘happy’ family.
Only we were one ‘happy’ family with a secret. I thought
about that and looked at my parents. It must have been the first time
that they ever knew the secret behind my lie. Every time I used to
answer with, “Not at the moment.” They used to believe it
as such, but now that they knew, they also knew what I really meant
every time I said that.
Staring at them as I slipped my shoes
on, I wondered if they felt something when they heard me tell that
lie. I wondered if they felt something, anything from it. I wondered
if they felt the same frustration, the same anger that I did. The
frustration of telling a lie. The anger that I couldn’t talk
about my boyfriend who I loved, but instead had to pretend that I
fancied some girl. I reached out and grabbed my coat, slipping it on
before I looked at them. Looked at them looking at me. Their eyes
told me the same story that they’d told all week. I didn’t
react. I simply spun on my foot, opened the door, and stepped
out.
The sky was cloudy above, but it didn’t stop the
smile on my face. For as long as I was outside of those doors, I was
free.
I was free.
I hope
you enjoyed reading this chapter of American Differences.
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comments and constructive criticisms are greatly appreciated.
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Again!
Emulated
Copyright © 2009 By Emulated