Disclaimer:
All other content or otherwise are works of my own
imagination. All events are fictitious in nature.
Any
similarities to persons living, dead, or otherwise are purely
coincidental.
This story contains strong themes of homosexual
content, if this offends you in any way, please refrain from reading
further. If you are not of legal age to read this, please leave
now.
A/N:
I'd like to thank TalonRider for editing this chapter. His
unparalleled excellence and tireless effort applied to my work is
greatly appreciated. Thank you.
American
Differences
-By Emulated
Chapter 22: Evolution
One
week later
I
spun around on my chair and narrowed my eyes at her, “Fuck off,
Hayley!”
She frowned, “You’re such a bitch,
Matt.”
“I’M the bitch?” I
asked, noting some kids looking up at us from their lunch, “Coming
from you that’s a compliment.”
“Why don’t
you go find yourself a girlfriend, huh?” She queried,
“Then you can stop pestering Jamie and me.” She said,
causing Jamie to scrunch up his face in disgust.
I stood up,
“Why don’t you go find one of the boys who ‘play’
nicely with you?”
“Fuck this!” She fumed, as
though I’d stepped over a line, “I’ll go away and
leave your boyfriend alone.” She said loudly, standing
up.
Someone started to laugh behind me, “’Boyfriend’?
Is that the best you can come up with?” Came a girl’s
voice.
I turned around to see Li and Sarah walking over.
Hayley frowned at them as Li spoke again, “Just take
the hint he gave you three months ago: he isn’t, and never will
be, interested in you.”
I looked at Hayley as she stood
there for a second, before she grabbed her bag and walked off through
the dining hall, out of sight.
“Uh, thanks guys.”
Said Jamie, looking at Li and Sarah.
I faced the two girls,
watching as they spoke to Jamie. It was lunchtime and Jamie and I
were having lunch in the dining hall alone. Connor and Max had gone
off for some football practise, and Ayo was working on some of his
coursework, before he’d join us later. It was going fine at
first, great even to be alone with Jamie, but then ‘stupid
bitch’ came along to mess with us. But I was having none of
it.
Sarah smiled at him, “No problem. That stupid cow
should just disappear or something!” She ranted.
Li
nodded, “She should’ve just got the idea and moved on. No
need to keep bugging you forever.”
“Yeah, well,
she didn’t take the hint.” I remarked, noting Li glance
at me, wondering if that remark was for her. I smiled, “But
thanks for showing up Li. I almost forgot you had that mean streak to
you.”
She laughed, “I’m not mean. I just
can’t stand that girl.”
I nodded again as I began
to question their reason for coming over, aside from kicking Hayley’s
ass.
Sarah placed her bag on a chair, “You guys don’t
mind if we come over, do you?”
Jamie gave me a look,
before I placed a grin on my lips, “Sure, we don’t mind.”
I replied, as I sat down in my seat.
“Thanks” She
replied, “Haven’t seen much of you guys since…”
She shook her head, “It’s been a while.”
I
fished out my sandwich from my bag, “Yeah, you two were part of
our group…before you ran away.”
Li grinned, “We
never ran away.” She said, “We just…you
know, didn’t want the other girls to get lonely.” She
joked.
I nodded at them. In truth it had been convenient
that they hadn’t hung around with us as much as they usually
did. While it was relatively easy to hide the truth from the other
guys, notwithstanding Ayo, I had always assumed that one of the girls
would notice it sooner. Mostly because Jamie and I would never seem
to be ‘available’, yet would both be single.
She
looked about, “Where’s the other guys, football
practise?”
“Yeah.” Replied Jamie, “They
abandoned us to kick a ball about.” He said, flashing me a
grin.
I nodded, “Could be worse though, “I began,
looking at them, “They could be hitting a ball about with a
bat.”
I felt Jamie nudge his foot under the table at me,
but I just grinned at him.
Li laughed, seemingly she
understood our banter, “You’re really good at baseball,
right?”
He smiled, “I try.”
I shook
my head at him. Who knew my boyfriend was such a cocky little
guy?
Sarah looked over, “Yeah, we heard about how you
almost got in a fight the other week.”
“Who, me?”
I asked.
She nodded.
“I didn’t fight with
anyone.”
“No. I was talking about you two, when
you were playing rounders. Someone said you almost got in a fight.”
She said.
I instantly knew what she was referring to, but in
truth neither of us were really going to fight. It was during another
rounders lesson the week before, and it was actually just like what
happened the first time; with Jamie using his best ‘skills’
whenever I stood in the box, but unlike the first time, I actually
managed to hit one of the balls. But it didn’t go very far.
That was for my second swing, and for my third, well, that was when
the action began. Jamie bowled the ball to me, but missed the bat and
hit my arm instead.
“Ow!” I exclaimed, as I reeled
from the attack!
Jamie giggled, “Oops.”
I
looked at him, putting on my faux ‘angry face’, “What
did you do that for?”
He laughed again, placing his
hands on his hips, “You were in the way.”
Noting
that the teacher was on the other side of the field, and that the
rest of our group was watching us, I decided to have a little fun. I
dropped my bat on the floor defiantly, “You think it’s
funny?”
His smile faltered, “Uh, sorry, Matt.”
I
shook my head, “Too late for that now.” I said, as I
reached down, picking up the ball that hit me. I looked at him for a
moment.
“Give it to me.” He called out
seductively. Of course I was the only one who noticed his attempt at
seduction, but that made it even hotter. I was so gonna get him back
for that.
“You really want it?” I teased. I wanted
to say, ‘Come and get it’, but that would have crossed
the gay threshold. I didn’t want to raise too many
eyebrows.
He flicked up his head, shaking his hair,
“Yeah.”
“Fine.” I said quickly, before
I pulled back my arm and threw it at him. Hard.
Jamie
saw it coming and cupped his hands, catching the ball. It must have
stung, given the ‘slapping’ noise it made, but he didn’t
show it. “Thanks, Honey!” He called out.
He almost
floored me with that! I felt my cheeks instantly flush, as the other
guys laughed at the exchange…
I smiled to myself,
recalling the event in detail, and reminding myself that I still
needed to get Jamie back for his actions!
Jamie swallowed some
of his drink and looked at the girls, “Yeah, I almost whipped
his ass.”
I turned to him, mouth agape, “You
couldn’t whip a fly.” I retorted.
“Now, now,
play nicely boys.” Giggled Li.
Jamie turned, to me
“Yeah, play nicely, Matt.” He warned, the
undertone evident in his voice.
“So what happened?”
Asked Sarah, “Did you fight?”
“Not exactly.
You see, Jamie has this little thing that he likes to do. It’s
not that goo-“ I began, before I felt Jamie’s foot return
to my leg, but this time he wasn’t nudging me, he was…teasing
me. I coughed, trying to shake him off, before I continued, “Yeah,
so I’ve got this thing and he said…uh, that he’ll…give
me it, I mean, give it to me.” I stammered, coughing as Jamie
ran his shoe up my calf. I shifted in my seat, causing him to remove
his foot. I looked at the girls, who were looking at me oddly. I
nodded, “So yeah, that’s what happened.”
They
shared a look with each other before they burst out laughing.
I
looked at Jamie and then back to them, “What?” I
asked.
Sarah shook her head, “You’ve lost it,
Matthew.”
“Huh?”
“Dude, you’re
making no sense.” Began Jamie, “Something else on your
mind?”
‘No, but something else is on my leg.’
I thought to myself, before I noticed Ayo heading over. “Thank
you, Ayo!”
He grinned, “Eh?”
“These
guys are ganging up on me.” I said as I pulled out a chair next
to me.
He sat down, “Why? What are they doing?”
‘Well
Li and Sarah are trying to ask me some really hard stuff, while Jamie
is feeling up my leg.’ I thought. I smiled, “Oh just,
you know. Jamie’s being bitchy and stuff.”
He
laughed at that.
We talked about a few different things.
School, the exams, and stuff. But during that time, Jamie kept on
staring at me. I swear he was looking at me constantly, yet no one
else seemed to notice. But the real highlight was when we were
talking about movies at the cinema. Everything was fine, with Jamie
giving me those looks, when Ayo seemed to jerk in his chair, before
he shot a look across at Jamie, who widened his eyes. I watched them
for a second, trying to figure out what happened before I started to
laugh.
From the way we were sitting, Ayo’s legs were
near to mine, so Jamie tried to ‘feel me up’ again, only
it wasn’t my leg, but Ayo’s instead. I couldn’t
stop laughing for a few minutes, a fact made even better when Jamie
wouldn’t look Ayo or me in the eyes for a while. Li and Sarah
had no idea what was going on, but they expected that kind of
behaviour when around us.
But things settled down and I zoned
out for a while. More to the point, something that Li said about her
parents made me think about mine. How they were and how they felt. I
hadn’t seen them since the time I had to go over because of my
aunt, uncle, and Craig visiting. And that happened over a week
before. I don’t think I had ever in my life gone that long
without seeing my parents.
I did try to put it out of my
mind, as the last thing I wanted to do was think about them while at
school, but I kept on being drawn back to them. And for the first
time in almost two weeks, I wanted to go home. But whenever I’d
think that, I’d remind myself about all the things my parents
had said over the years. All the homophobic things that they had
said. If they came to me, asking for me to come home, would I have?
To be honest with you I didn’t know. I wanted to go home, but I
couldn’t forget what they’d said, or more recently, how
they’d treated me because of my sexuality.
Jamie must
have noticed that I was doing some heavy-thinking because he gave me
this look with this soft frown on his eyebrows. ‘Are you
ok?’ Asked his expression. I gave him a small smile and a
nod. Yeah, I was fine. As long as I kept telling myself that I’d
be ok.
“So what you guys doing about the prom? Anything
planned yet?” Asked Sarah.
Alarm bells rang in my head
at that. “Prom?” I asked. My mind now fully awake and
alert.
She nodded, “They’ve set the date, the
twenty-second of June.”
I quickly done the math, that
gave me less than three months. What the hell was I going to do?
Every possible thought flew through my mind. Should I take Jamie, as
my partner? Should we miss the thing entirely? Or worse of all,
should I let Jamie go with someone else?
“Erm no,
nothing planned yet.” Said Ayo. It was clear from his
expression that he knew what dilemma Jamie and I faced.
I
nodded in agreement, and glanced idly at Li. I could tell she wanted
to say something, no, I knew exactly what she wanted to ask.
But knowing her, she wouldn’t really be nervous about asking
him, but she probably knew that she’d look really bad asking
him, especially after everything that had happened with Hayley
earlier that morning, or the fact that Jamie had recently ‘broken
up’ with his ‘girlfriend’. That last part wasn’t
true, of course, but she didn’t know that.
“Matt?”
Came Jamie’s voice.
I looked over at the face of my
angel. My heart wanted me to take him as my partner, so I could show
everyone who he was to me. But my mind knew that it was out of the
question. Forget those stories where gay kids go to the prom, or
homecoming together. It just didn’t happen in real life. At
least not in my life.
I let my mind wander though, just for a
brief moment, as I thought about what it’d be like to take
Jamie to the prom. I thought about how great it’d be to show up
together, in a fancy car or something. I’d stand at the door,
with my arm out and he’d hook his around it. I shook myself
from the daydream, “Uh, yeah, Jamie?”
“I was
asking you what you’re doing later.” He said, before he
pointed to Li and Sarah, “They wanted to know if we wanna hang
around town with them.”
I shrugged, “Sur-“ I
began, before I realised what they were asking.
They looked at
me oddly.
I produced a small smile, “Sure. Sounds
good.”
Li giggled, “I thought you were having
second thoughts.”
I shook my head, “I was just
thinking about something else.” I replied, noting that Jamie
was giving me this understanding look. He understood our predicament
too.
*
I
leaned close to him, “I want to take you to the prom, more than
anything.”
He nodded, “I know.” He said,
before he looked up from his work, “I want to take you
too.”
We were in our last lesson for the day, Science.
None of the work was that hard, but having Jamie next to me sure
helped out some.
I looked at him, “Do you think we
should, you know, go together?”
He looked at me
surprised, “Where did that idea come from?!”
“I
dunno. I…” I sighed, staring into his grey eyes, before
I looked away. “Nothing.”
“No, what is
it?”
I glanced at my worksheet, “I just wanna...”
I glanced about, “Be with you, Jamie. Like how couples are with
each other.”
He thought for a moment, “Like a
date?”
I nodded, “Yeah, dates, parties…anything
where we’d go together. Where people know that we’re
together.”
He glanced up at the whiteboard and scribbled
something down into his book, before he spoke, “You know things
could be worse, if we were out.”
“I know.” I
replied, “It’s not about us being out, it’s about
everything.” I frowned, “If I wanted to take you out
somewhere, to the theatre or something, I shouldn’t have
to worry about someone saying something…or doing something.”
I paused, “Why can’t people let us be free?”
“I
don’t know.” He replied, peering into my eyes, “Maybe
someday, in our lifetime, we can be free.”
I gave him a
weak smile, “Yeah. I hope so.”
*
Going
into town with the girls really wasn’t as bad as I made out. I
mean we knew Li and Sarah really well, and they were both decent
people so it was quite a fun thing. Connor and Max came along too so
we had a right group of us walking around. One thing that had Jamie
and I giggling was the way that Max was eyeing up Sophie. Once he
found out that she had recently broken up with Dean, he seemed that
he could at the very least check her out a little more openly.
“Were
you that obvious when you were checking me out?”
I
chocked on my drink slightly, “What?”
We had been
down town for a little over an hour when we decided to split up a
bit. Max went off with the girls, and Connor and Ayo went off
somewhere else, leaving Jamie and me together. Seeing as we were
alone, we headed over to the leisure park where we could grab some
McFlurrys from Macky D’s.
“You heard
me.” He said, giving me his look.
“I wasn’t
THAT obvious.” I replied, “Besides, I only checked you
out for a few hours before I deemed you acceptable.”
“Just
acceptable?” He pouted.
I managed to subdue the
sudden urge to kiss those fresh, pink lips, “More than
acceptable.”
He smiled and thought for a moment before
he giggled.
“What now?” I grinned.
“Us.”
He began, “On our first day.”
I sipped some of my
drink, “What about it?”
He leaned closer, “What
we did.”
I blushed lightly, “Oh, yeah.”
He
grinned, “I can’t believe that happened on our first day,
the first chapter of our life together.”
I beamed at
him. Our life together. I liked the sound of that.
After
a while longer we got a call from Connor and decided to meet up again
with the other guys back near the shops. We met up with them and hung
around for a while. As usual, we didn’t get that much shopping
done, it was just something to do. It was great to be with the other
guys, but at the same time, I was still somewhat bugged with Li’s
attendance. Don’t get me wrong, she didn’t do or say
anything, but once I knew she liked Jamie, it automatically put me on
the defensive.
The hard part was that anytime she’d look
at Jamie, or talk to him, my mind was instantly at work, trying to
figure out if there was some kind of ‘link’ going on
there. I wanted to see if she still liked him. Sure it had only been
a week, but perhaps Max was right, maybe she could have just gotten
over it. But by judging from some of the glances she’d give
him, it was clear that there was something else going on. I wasn’t
sure if Jamie noticed. Perhaps he did, but either way, he was working
hard to ignore her if that was the case.
But it was all this
speculating and stuff that got to me. Li was a nice person, I didn’t
feel like I should be watching her every move when it came to Jamie.
I kept telling myself that I was only doing it to make sure things
didn’t come back to haunt us in the future, but no matter what
I’d do, or say, it still felt a little odd. Regardless, there
was one way that would ensure that Jamie and I remained in the closet
for as long as we wanted, and that was for us to stick to our guns. I
was sticking to mine, and without a doubt Jamie was doing the same. I
didn’t see any problems arising in the immediate future for
either of us.
*
I
lay there in bed, looking up at Connor’s darkened ceiling. “Why
can’t I take my boyfriend to the prom?” I asked
rhetorically, as I knew the ten-page long reason why I couldn’t
do it. I sighed, “It’s not fair.”
Connor
frowned, “No, it isn’t.” He said, “It’s
not fair at all.”
According to Connor’s alarm
clock, it had just gone past eleven. We’d gotten into bed about
ten minutes before and were quietly talking to each other about
various topics, namely the prom.
“Anyway, what’s
wrong with us going in a group?” He continued, “That’s
what most people do anyway.”
“But what if you have
a girlfriend or something? Or if one of the guys has a girlfriend?”
I asked, “What happens then?”
He shook his head,
“If you can’t go with Jamie, I won’t go with my
girlfriend, if I have one then.”
That hit me.
“Really?”
He nodded.
“Why
not?”
“Because it isn’t fair.” He
replied, turning on his bed and facing me, “I’m going on
strike.”
I giggled at that, but calmed down, “You’re
too good a friend, Con.” I said, “After everything…”
He waved his hand.
“Don’t be stupid. You’d
do exactly the same for me.”
I didn’t even have to
think about that one, “Yeah, I would.”
“Well
then. That’s why I’m too good a friend.”
I
smiled, and thought for a moment, “Con, what do you think of
Jamie?”
“How’d you mean?”
“Like
as my boyfriend. You think we’re a good match?”
“You’re
kidding, right?” He said, “You need to ask me that?”
I
shook my head, “I think we’re great together. I just
wanna know what you think.”
“I think you guys are
perfect for each other.” He smiled, “I’ve told you
before, I used to wonder what type of woman you’d date, or
marry.” He giggled, “I was a little wrong there…but
Jamie is better than anyone I’d have ‘picked’ for
you.” He said, “He’s a great guy.”
“And
an awesome boyfriend.” I finished.
Connor giggled, “I
bet he is.”
I reached across and shoved him, “Hey.”
He
giggled again, and then looked at me, “Matt, can I ask you
something? It’s kinda personal.”
“Sure, go
ahead.”
He was silent for a moment, “I’m
only asking because I don’t know…uh…when you…uh.”
He paused, “Does it hurt?”
I thought for a moment
before I realised what he was getting at, “Oh, you mean
like…erm…’back there’?”
“Yeah.”
I
nodded, “You want the honest answer?”
“You
don’t have to tell me.”
I smiled, “I don’t
mind.” I replied. And that was the truth, as Connor and I had
always been quite open like that.
“Ok, go ahead.”
I
breathed, “To be honest, I don’t know.” I said, “We
haven’t…done that.”
“Oh, that’s
cool. I was just wondering, you know?”
“That’s
fine.” I said, before I decided to have some fun, “Does
it hurt?”
“What?” He asked.
“For
you?” I replied, “With a girl.”
He giggled
before he shook his head, “I wouldn’t know.”
“Yeah?”
I grinned, “That’s cool, man.”
He giggled
again, “Just don’t ask Max that.” He replied,
“He’ll be here for hours telling you ALL about that!”
I
laughed into the pillow, “Yeah, that’s why I haven’t!”
I said, as I stretched out on the fold up bed, “He seems to be
coming around, to the idea of Jamie and me.”
“Yeah.”
He said, “It wasn’t so much Jamie, it was you being gay.
He’s known you for years, he just couldn’t believe that
he didn’t notice it before.”
“I worked hard
to hide it. I still do.”
He nodded, “Do you want
to be out, like completely?”
“No.” I
replied, “No way. I’m nowhere near ready for
that.”
“What about Jamie?”
“He’s
the same. He doesn’t want to come out either.”
“Yeah,
I don’t blame you guys.” He replied, “Hopefully one
day you guys can be yourselves without worrying about anything.”
I
yawned, “That’d be nice, yeah.”
He yawned
too, “Yeah.”
I fluffed up my pillow, “Anyway,
we’d better get some sleep.”
“Yeah, we want
to look our best for Prince Charming, don’t we?” He
teased.
“Ayo?” I retorted, “You wanna look
your best for Ayo?”
He laughed, “Goodnight,
Matt.”
I grinned back, “Goodnight, Connor.”
I hope
you enjoyed reading this chapter of American Differences.
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Emulated
Copyright © 2009 By Emulated