All other content or otherwise are works of my own imagination. All events are fictitious in nature.
Any similarities to persons living, dead, or otherwise are purely coincidental.
This story contains strong themes of homosexual content, if this offends you in any way, please refrain from reading further. If you are not of legal age to read this, please leave now.
A/N: I'd like to thank TalonRider for editing this chapter. His unparalleled excellence and tireless effort applied to my work is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
I'd also like to thank Librent for beta reading this chapter. Thank you.
Chapter 24: Potential
“Right, we have quite a fun lesson planned today for you lot.” Began Mr Pierce, as he opened up a box on his desk and pulled out some leaflets.
I turned to Jamie, “I’m getting excited.” I joked.
He smiled, “You’re such a kid.”
I grinned back at him. I quite enjoyed our Citizenship lessons, partly because we didn’t have any real work to do, but mostly because it was us debating or talking about topics that affected us as young-adults. We only had the lesson once every two weeks, but since Jamie had started we’d covered many different topics like drugs, healthy eating, voting, just stuff like that. We had the subject together as a form, so Connor and Max were there with us, but Ayo was in a different form, with Dean and Jon, so he had it with them.
I was looking at Jamie when his eyes widened slightly before a smile appeared on his face. I turned to the front and was equally surprised to see Mr Pierce holding up a white, polystyrene erect penis! I looked at it for a moment, studying it. It was quite a good ‘model’, with a glands at the top, and ‘half’ a pair of balls at the bottom. It was almost a dildo, but with it being somewhat soft and malleable, I doubt that it would have worked very well as a toy.
“This is my penis model.” He said, shaking it about slightly, before placing it down on the desk and rummaging through the box. “We’ve also got,” He began, pulling out some small wrappers, “A nice assortment of condoms, and...” He pulled out a packet of tablets, “Some contraceptive pills.”
I looked at Connor, “You should show him your condom assortment!”
He threw a ball of paper at me, “Shut up.”
“So guys and girls, today we will be talking about sex. Not the boring stuff they teach you down in science, today we’re going have some real fun!” Called out Pierce, as he stood at the front. “Now there will be those of you who are already sexually active in this room, so it’s important that you take note of the various precautions you should take when practising safe sex.”
As if on cue, Connor shot his head at Jamie and me.
“What?” I asked.
He just wiggled his eyebrows at me, before facing the front.
Pierce spoke again, turning on the projector on the ceiling, “But before we do that, I have a video for you to watch.”
Max turned and looked at us, “Porn!”
Some of the other guys in the room laughed at him.
“Sorry, Max, but I think Mr Jones would have a little bit of trouble with that.”
Max mumbled something to Connor, making him laugh.
The projector came on and Pierce shut off the lights, starting the video. Part of me was cringing inside, as I anxiously waited to see what the school’s idea of a sex education video would be like. But I was quite surprised. There was no 800-year-old agony aunt or whatever telling guys what an erection was, or what the difference between pre-cum and cum was, no, it wasn’t that bad. But there was no mention of gay sex. Not that I really expected any, but as a gay person IN a sexual relationship, the video didn’t apply to me that much. Unless Jamie was packing some ovaries under his hot abs!
Once it finished, Pierce put on the lights again and sat in front of us on his desk, “Ok, so that was our famous sex-education video.” He said, looking at us, “Does anyone have any questions?” He asked.
Some of the girls giggled at the back.
He looked at them, “Anything?”
No one replied to him.
“Ok, here’s what we’re going to do. I understand that it can sometimes be an embarrassing topic, and it’s not easy to ask questions, but it’s what I’m here for and it’s what this lesson is here for. So please, ask anything you would like.” He said, before he pulled out a smaller box, “However, if you do have a question, but would rather not say it in front of everyone, we have this box here, which I’ll leave near the door. If you have a question, just write it, or print it out and place it in here, where we’ll talk about it during afternoon registration, ok?”
We all nodded.
“Good.” He remarked, “If you could all bring your chairs forwards.” He said, sweeping his arms in a semi-circle.
We picked up our chairs and shifted forwards, all sitting around him. Pierce spent the next twenty-minutes going over the basic idea behind safe-sex, like the purposes behind wearing a condom such as pregnancy, but he also focused on STI’s, something that did relate to Jamie and me. After a while, he stopped and looked at us.
“Does anyone know why I’m use the term ‘partner’?” He asked.
I had picked up on it, and his subtle use of using genderless roles.
“Is it because of gay people, Sir?” Answered Sarah.
Pierce nodded, “That’s right.” He said, “While gay people don’t necessarily have to worry about pregnancy, they can still get STI’s.”
“Yeah, AIDS!” Called out of the guys behind us.
Pierce turned to him, “I’m not sure I like the way you said that, Ryan.” He said, “We’re here to learn about the dangers we all face, and while there is a big concentration on gay men contracting AIDS, anyone can catch it, yourself included if you’re not careful.”
A small smile formed at the corner of my mouth at the way Pierce shut him up.
“But you’re right, Sarah. It is equally important that both gay and straight people take the necessary precautions when having sex.”
We all nodded at him before he picked up the model penis, placing it upright, before grabbing a condom wrapper. He tore it open and pulled it out, looking at it closely to see which way it rolls down. He showed it to us, and then showed us how to properly put one on. It was all very new to me, well obviously not the condom, but I’d never seen one being put on before, even if it was only on a model. Pierce then removed the condom from the model, and handed it to me, “It’s your turn.”
I took the penis from him, “Ah, the hands on approach!” I said, looking at Jamie, “What I’m famous for, right?”
He just rolled his eyes at me.
Pierce handed me a condom, before he pulled out another penis and condom, handing it to Sarah, “You get a go too.”
I took the small wrapper and looked at it for a moment, never having held one before. Just touching it for that brief moment instantly set a myriad of emotions flowing through me. It wasn’t that it was a piece of latex, but what it symbolised: sex. Like ‘real’ sex. I looked at Jamie to catch him looking at me, before I looked down again.
“A look of pure concentration...” Remarked Mr Pierce, looking at me.
Some of the people around us laughed.
I looked up at him, grinning, “Yeah...” I replied, before I took a good hold of the model, “It feels a little small...”
Jamie found that one hilarious, as did Connor and Max.
Pierce laughed himself before shaking his head, “Sorry, Matt. I’ll see if I can get some better ones in for next time.”
I smiled, “I’ll forgive you this time, Sir.”
“Good.” He said, pointing to the model, “Now put the condom on it.”
“Yes, Sir.” I replied, as I tore open the wrapper, pulling out the condom. I flipped it the right way around, pinched the tip, and placed it above the top of the model. I brought up my other hand to it, and rolled it down its length. I wasn’t kidding earlier either, it did seem a little small in my hand. I slid my hand up and down the condom-covered model a few times before Pierce coughed.
“I think it’s on there, Matt.”
I giggled, “Just checking, Sir.”
A few more people practised putting the condoms on the model penises, before the bell rang, signalling the end of the school day.
“Well that’s it for today, Folks. We’ll be continuing with it in our next lesson, so make sure you show up for that!” He said, as he stood up, “Just take your chairs back, and then you’re free to go.”
We took our chairs back, pulled on our bags, and walked out of the door.
“See you tomorrow, guys!” He called out after us.
“See you, Sir.” I replied, as we walked out.
We walked over to the main gates, where we waited for the rest of our group to show up. Max and Ayo headed off to their homes to get changed, before they’d head over to Connor’s house later. We waited for a few more minutes until our younger siblings turned up, before we then made our way home.
“So you guys still up to hanging in the park?” Asked Connor. We had all decided earlier that we’d hang around in the park, seeing as the weather was beginning to get somewhat warmer, and drier.
“Sure, I don’t mind.” I replied.
Connor nodded, “Just try to come a little earlier this time, yeah?” He said, raising an eyebrow.
I glanced over at Jamie, “We’ll try.”
think you liked that dick too much.” Spoke Jamie, as he slipped
off his shirt.
As usual, we were up in his bedroom. Jamie was getting changed while I lay on his bed. I giggled at him, “Which one?”
He shook his head at me.
I shrugged, “It was too small though.” I replied, looking at his back, “You spoil me with yours.”
He turned around, flashing me his sexy chest, “You, trying to get in my pants again?”
I faked a pout, “Am not! I was just commenting on your...generous size.” While we were around the same size, Jamie was ever so slightly longer, by like a quarter of an inch.
He stared into my eyes before he looked up at the clock, “Not today.” He said softly, before turning around.
I stood up and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his chest and burying my face in his neck, “What did you say?” I asked, pressing my hips against him gently.
“We can’t...and everyone’s home...”
I nibbled on his lobe, “I want you.” I said, as I reached down his chest, over his abs, and lower, but Jamie caught my hands.
I pulled back and let go, “Ok.” I said softly, before I turned him around, “Just let me do this...” I began, pulling his head towards me. I licked my lips and opened them slightly. Jamie whimpered softy as they came in contact, causing my erection to jerk below. I cocked my head, deepening the kiss, flicking my tongue against his. I reached around, slipping my hands beneath his boxers and cupping his warm ass. He humped against me, exhaling gently across my cheek.
We continued the kiss for what seemed mere seconds, but when we eventually pulled apart, and I looked up at the clock, I realised that we were slightly late again. I couldn’t believe how fast time passes when I was kissing Jamie. It was ridiculous.
“If only we were alone now...” He said tenderly.
I brushed my cheek against his, “What?” I asked, “What would happen?”
He paused, “I’d show you how much I love you.” He replied, before kissing the side of my neck.
A little moan escaped my lips, “Jamie...”
After a moment he pulled back and grinned at me. I watched as he took my hands in his, before looking into my eyes, “This weekend, I want you to sleepover here.”
I bit my bottom lip, my heart quickening, “Yeah?”
He smiled, flashing his teeth, “Yeah.” He kissed the back of my hand, “Then we’ll get to finish this.”
I leaned forward and kissed him gently, “I’d like that.” I said, my voice almost quivering from the anticipation.
He kissed me again, and pulled back, “Good.” He said, before he tugged on my hand, “Come on, we gotta go over to Con’s.”
I nodded at him, and moments later, we were out of the house and on our way to Connor’s house. After a few minutes of small talk, I turned to Jamie.
“Do you have a suit?” I asked.
“I had one.” He replied, “But I was like fourteen when I last wore it. It wouldn’t fit me now.”
I laughed, “Yeah, I’m pretty much the same. Gonna have to get a whole new one for the Prom.”
He turned to me, looking me up and down.
“What?” I asked, “Picturing how I’d look?”
“Yeah.” He replied, “You’d look really good.”
I smiled, “You too.” I replied, before a toothy grin broke out on my face at the thought of Jamie in a suit.
“Hey, you remember my first day?” He asked.
I thought for a moment, “When I saved your ass from Hayley...or what happened later on?” I asked.
He smiled, “Later on...when you spilt your coke everywhere.”
“What?! When did that happen?”
He laughed, “Fancy a game of cricket?” He asked in his English accent.
I giggled, “Oh, yeah...” I replied, giving him a sideways glance, “You still suck at that.”
Jamie shoved me, “Bitch.”
I leaned closer to his ear, “I love my boyfriend.”
“He loves you too.”
passed the ball over to me, “Hey, look at you with all the
soccer skills!” I called out, “Rooney in the
“Who’s that?” He asked.
I gave him this look, making him hold up his hands.
“I’m kidding, Matt.”
“You better be.” I replied, “But I meant it, you’re playing better.”
He smiled, “Thanks.” He said, “But you must thank my two coaches here!” He added, gesturing to Adam and Josh, who had accompanied us to the field in the park.
“Matt!” Called out Max, waving a hand in the air.
I flicked up the ball and volleyed it over to him.
“I can’t do that yet.” Said Jamie, referencing my flicking up the ball.
I grinned, “It’s ok.” I replied, looking at Ayo, “Neither can he.”
Ayo feigned anger, “Yes I can!”
“You calling me a liar?” I asked, walking up to him, puffing my chest out.
Ayo giggled and looked over at Jamie, “Can you come and control him for me?”
“He won’t help you, he’s on MY team.” I retorted.
Jamie raised an eyebrow, “You sure about that? All I see is you bullying Ayo.” He smiled, talking a step towards me.
“Hey, are you guys playing, or are you two about to have one of your little arguments again?” Laughed Connor, the ball at his feet.
I turned to them, “Run along children...Dad and...” I looked at Jamie, “Daddy need to have a little chat.”
They all found that hilarious, myself included, unable to stop the grin breaking out on my face.
Jamie shook his head, “I always thought you’d make a great mom.” He laughed.
I pulled a face, “Ugh, I couldn’t make it through child-birth!”
He laughed, “Yeah, because the pregnancy part would just ‘happen’, right?”
I shrugged, “Sure.” I replied, poking him in the ribs lightly, “You seem pretty fertile.”
He laughed again, “That would make two of us.” He replied, before he looked over at Connor, “Over here!” He called out, asking for the ball.
I watched as Jamie received the ball, before sending it over to Max, as the three of them engaged in some little game. I turned to Ayo, “How’s Tanisha, is she still about?” I asked.
“Yeah, she’s fine.” He replied, “It’s better that she lives closer now, get to see her more often.”
“Oh, does she live with her...partner?”
“Julie?” He asked.
“No. They both still live at home.” He replied, “And they both go to the same uni, which isn’t too far away either.”
Ayo looked at me, “She’s asked about you a few times, always telling me to have you over so she could see you...” He paused, before grinning, “And she wants you to bring Jamie too.”
I laughed, “Really?”
“Yeah, she really wants to meet your American hottie.” He replied, before his eyes widening slightly, “HER words, not mine!”
I laughed again, “Relax, Ayo. I know you wouldn’t say that...” I grinned, “Unless you have a thing for my boyfriend.”
He blushed, “I don’t have a...thing for Jamie!”
I reached out, squeezing his shoulder, “I know you don’t. I’m just playing with you.”
He giggled at me, before he glanced over my shoulder, “Looks like we got some company.”
I followed suit and turned around, noticing three girls approaching Max. Sarah, Li, and Beth. They weren’t anything to worry about. Max walked up to Sarah and I watched as he hugged her from behind. They hadn’t even been together for like a day, yet they were free to be like that. Jamie and I were just days away from our four-month anniversary of having been together, yet we couldn’t do that. While it...aggravated me to a certain degree, what really annoyed me was how my mind would constantly go back to that, always reminding me of how we couldn’t be together in public. It made me feel like I wanted to keep on playing the victim, that every time I’d see a straight couple together, I’d put myself in a foul mood. That my mind wouldn’t let go.
But the other part of me didn’t want to let go. I shouldn’t have had to deny that I wasn’t being treated equally by society. I shouldn’t have had to pretend that everything was fine, because it wasn’t, it really wasn’t. It was unfair, totally and completely unfair. Yet, every time I’d think that, a voice would appear in my head, telling me that it wasn’t true...
“I can’t be with Jamie in public.”
“What’s stopping you?” Replied that voice in my mind.
“Society. Society is stopping me, stopping us.”
“Is it? Or are you too scared?”
“Scared? Scared of what?”
“Being out, letting people know what you are.”
“I’m proud of who I am.”
“Yes. I’m gay. It’s part of me and...”
“...I shouldn’t have to hide it.”
“But you do because you’re scared.”
“What? What if I am?”
“What? My loss? What about everyone stopping us? What about the risks that we’d face if we were out, what abo-“
“Look at Max holding her.”
I tore my eyes from Jamie and glanced over at them. Max was standing behind Sarah, holding her in this tight embrace. His arms were around her waist, and his mouth was next to her ear. He was whispering things to her, nice things given the look on her face.
“That’s what you could have, with Jamie.”
I looked over at my boyfriend, “It’s what I want. But I’m too scared. I can’t come out now. I just can’t.”
“Then don’t.” Ended the voice, in an almost mocking tone.
Connor kicked the ball over to me, “Hey, you alright there?”
I smiled, stopping it at my feet, “Yeah, just thinking.”
“Anything good?” He asked.
“Not really.” I replied, “Just stuff.”
He gave me a look, that best friend look of his, “Wanna talk?”
I shook my head, “It’s ok. Nothing important.”
He watched me for a moment, before he smiled, “Sure.”
I looked over at the girls again, noticing that Jamie was now with them, making them laugh at something he said. Connor came in front of me, blocking my view.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” He asked, “You look really annoyed.” He glanced at the girls, “Is it them?”
I forced a smile onto my face, “No, I’m fine. Just a headache.”
He looked at me for a moment, “Hope you aren’t coming down with that flu, with you sharing my room and all.”
“You’re such a good friend, you know that?” I mocked, before waving over at the girls. The least I could do was acknowledge them.
He laughed, “I know.”
We stood there chatting with each other for a while, before Jamie wandered over.
“How are they?” I asked.
“They’re wondering why you guys aren’t going over there. I said you’re talking about something important.” He replied.
I nodded, knowing that I’d have to go over and say ‘hello’. But I really wasn’t in the mood, and after the way Li had messed us about...I really didn’t feel up to entertaining them.
“Hey, I’ll go and say ‘Hi’, and tell them that you’re coming.” Said Connor, before he jogged across the grass towards them.
“Beth is asking about you.” Spoke Jamie.
I turned to him, “Is she?”
“Yeah. I think she wants to ask you to the Prom.”
“Beth!?” I exclaimed.
“Dude! Keep it down.”
I looked at him, “But seriously?” I asked, looking over his shoulder, “Where the hell are all these girls coming from suddenly?”
He laughed at that.
“I mean it!” I replied, frowning, “We’re just starting to get things sorted now something else appears.” I said, dropping the ball on the ground.
“And we’ll deal with it, just like we dealt with Li.”
I thought about it for a second, anger building in me before I pelted the ball, “Fuck!” I shouted, as it soared into the air, well over Ayo’s head. I turned to Jamie, watching as he looked at me closely. “It’s pissing me off, Jamie!” I said loudly.
“Matt...” He began, stepping closer, blocking me from the girls.
“No.” I replied, “Just...why can’t they fuck off!?” I fumed, pointing at the girls.
Jamie stepped up to me, placing his hands on my shoulders, just below my neck, “Hey, hey, calm down.” He said softly, “We can manage it. It’s not a big deal.”
I looked into his eyes, calming some, “But it is. It will always be a big deal.” I slumped my shoulders and exhaled, “I want it all to be over.” I said softly, looking at him, “I want things to be just like they used to be before any of this crap.”
He let go of my shoulders, not wanting things to look too odd, “Me too, and we will get there, or something really close. I promise.”
I shook my head again, “It isn’t fair.” I said, looking at Sarah and Max, “They’re allowed to be together...”
Jamie was silent for a moment, before he answered, “So can we, if we came out.”
“I don’t want to do that, Jamie.” I looked at his face, “Do you?”
“I’m not sure. Part of me does, but the rest...” He trailed off, “I’m not sure, Matt.”
I nodded at him, feeling really drained in that instant.
He looked about, “It’s getting cold here, just go over and say ‘hi’ to them, and then we’ll head back. Ok?”
I nodded again, noting the girls laugh at something Max said. They seemingly weren’t aware of my little outburst. “Sorry, Jamie. I feel like...”
“A crazy messed up idiot? Yeah.” He smiled, before looking serious, “Matt, I don’t blame you for letting things out. I feel like doing the same at times-“
“But you don’t.” I pointed out.
“Because we’re different people.” He said, before squeezing my upper arm, “And that’s why I love you, because you’re so different.”
I grinned at him, watching as the setting sun cast a warm glow on his face, “I love you too...” I began, smiling up at him, “Even with all your goofy American differences.”
He shook his head, “Don’t you mean my American greatness!”
I shoved him, “Don’t start that again.” I said, before I started walking towards the girls. I watched as Beth looked in my direction, before she quickly looked away, pretending she didn’t notice. I clenched my jaw slightly. I hated it when girls acted in that stupid way. The way they’d look at you like they were shy or something! Why didn’t they just act normal? Why couldn’t they just...I swallowed. I was working myself up again. I was being pretty unreasonable if I was going to suddenly hate all girls! It was ridiculous to even think about it. Of course I didn’t hate them, I just didn’t like how they...complicated things for Jamie and me.
“Hello, you! We thought you were ignoring us.” Said Li, grinning.
I smiled back, “No, of course not. Con and I just needed to sort some things out.”
Sarah looked at him, “Oh, aren’t you two boys playing nicely?” She asked, as Jamie appeared next to me.
My eyes looked over at Li and watched as she glanced at Jamie, and then looked at Sarah. I continued to watch her, before she looked at Jamie again, giving him this right stare, and then turned to me. I quickly averted my eyes, but when I looked up, I noticed that she had done the same, seemingly embarrassed about having been caught checking out Jamie. It was on the tip of my tongue, “Why are you looking at my boyfriend like that?” I really wanted to ask her that, to dress her down, and Beth too, showing them how we’d never be available to them.
Jamie elbowed me, “What?” I asked, slightly annoyed at him.
“Uh, you were zoning out on us.”
I looked up at the girls, my eyes catching Beth’s for a split second, “It’s just a headache...nothing important.” I replied, noting Connor watching me closely.
next few days at school went pretty much as expected, although I was
kinda surprised that Beth didn’t say anything. Jamie was quick
to remind me, that perhaps she was waiting for me to ask her to the
Prom. After all, wasn’t that what I was supposed
to do? Being the guy and all? Anyway, with Beth aside, if I was going
to ask anyone to the Prom, it would’ve been Jamie, but with
that out of the question, I wasn’t going with anyone as a
"I can't tell you that!"
"Yes you can." He replied, "You know who I fancied." Said Connor smartly.
It was a few days after the little ‘meeting’ in the park, and Connor and I was in the kitchen, making dinner for the house. Unlike me, Connor was quite adept when it came to cooking, well, I wasn’t completely useless, but he certainly knew a lot more. So seeing that I was staying over his house, I took every spare moment whenever he was cooking to help him out and perhaps learn a thing or two.
I looked at him, "Well, there was that guy, you know the one from our technology clas-"
"What? How do you know?" I asked, "The class was full of guys."
He shrugged, "He's the best looking one there...besides yours truly." He added.
I blushed, "Yeah, he was so hot." I replied, "A real bastard though."
Connor laughed, "Yeah, he was." He grinned, "I guess you have a thing for blonds, huh?”
"Not always." I replied.
He paused for a moment, "It must have sucked. Not knowing who was gay or straight."
"Yeah, it was." I looked at him, "But I guess waiting paid off."
"I've been wondering about that, well, I read that gay guys can ‘detect’ other gay guys...”
I laughed at him.
“What? I read it online, gaydar or something?”
I laughed again, “Yeah, that’s what they call it. Mine doesn’t work that well, but Jamie reckons he’s quite good at ‘detecting’ other gay guys.”
“Yeah?” He asked, as he added some salt to the boiling water, “Guess that’s how he found you so fast then.”
“What? How do you know that I didn’t find him, or make the first move?”
He gave me this look, “Come on, Matt, we both know who’s in charge of your relationship!”
“Yeah, me!” I smiled.
He shook his head slightly.
“What? I’m telling you, I’m in charge. Jamie...no, he’s not like his sister.”
Connor blushed lightly at the mention of Sam.
I giggled, “No, we’re about equal, you know? We don’t really take a role or anything, like he’s the dude or I’m the chick.”
He laughed at that.
“It’s true! We’re just...we just work well. Complement each other.”
He nodded, “I know. I was just kidding.”
‘Good’ I thought to myself, ‘Otherwise I’d have to tell you all about my manly dominance over the blond American!’
The doorbell rang, causing me to look over at Connor, who was handling some spaghetti.
"Could you get it, please?" He asked.
I nodded and walked over to the door. I glanced through the small window, my body jerking upon immediately recognising the two figures standing there. I struggled to find the handle, before I tentatively opened the door and stared at them for a moment. “So you here for Amanda and Terry?” I asked, looking at my mum, “They’re out at the minute.”
“We’re here for you, Matt.” She said, looking at me, “We want you to come home.”
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