Date: Mon, 1 Nov 2004 16:33:16 EST From: Madasonaysha@aol.com Subject: AROUND MY WAY chapter two Gay/ High School and Gay /Interacial Disclaimer: If you read the first chapter than you already know that this is a love story between two teenage boys, one Black and one Latino. If that bothers you than don't read. Even though this isn't a sex story, eventually there where be scenes of that nature. This is my first story to Nifty and comments or constructive criticism is more than welcomed. Send any responses to Madasonaysha@aol.com or Madisonaysha@yahoo.com but use the aol account first. Sorry for any typos I don't have an editor and I did my best. Authors note: Okay so you guys were really nice and a big KISS to all of you!! Sorry that the first chapter wasn't broken down in enough paragraphs but this one is an easier read. Please bare with it and read chapter one first so you can get a little background info on the main character. There will be about fifteen chapters maybe more. Five or already written and will be posted through out the week to establish the plot quicker. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. Okay, enough with my rambling. READ :) CHAPTER TWO I moved in with my Aunt Mickey that summer. She lived in Southern New Jersey near the shore in Seaside. She was willing to stay in Montclair but I couldn't bear to be around anything that would remind me of the great life that I lived. I couldn't stand to be around my friends either. They started treating me like I was so fragile and it reminded me of how people treated me when they found out what Hector use to do to me. Andy and Wes knew about most of my past but nothing about Hector. Every time that someone would find about what happened, they would start to treat me like I was some little baby that needed their protection. First my case workers than the staff at the youth home. My parents Dan and Jamie were the only people who treated me normal. They never questioned me to why I was so quite or why I could be so introverted at times. They would just let me be me in piece never judging me are trying to change me. Now they were gone. God I loved them so much. They gave me ever thing and I gave them nothing. For the first two months Andy and Wes would call me constantly or take the train just to visit me but I was always so sullen when they were around. They reminded me of a life that I no longer had so I pushed them away. But they just kept coming around. They were my best friends and wouldn't allow me suffer on my own. Finally I had to sit them down and tell them why I wanted to be left alone. They are both always so goofy and down for a good time that I was surprised by the amount of emotion they showed. Andrew, easily was over six feet and was just under two hundred pounds. Wesley was just two or three inches shorter than him and only about twenty pounds lighter. They were an unusual contrast to my five foot seven ( and a half ) one hundred forty pound frame. To see these two giants tear up at something that I said made me feel even more awful inside than I already did. Andy spoke the words that they both were struggling to find. "Chris you are our best friend we just want to be here for you. This is not a time when you should be alone." I responded but I was unable to look him in his eyes. " Andy, Wesley you guys are the best buds that I could ask for. Its just that I need some time alone. Every time I am around you guys I see the life that I used to have. The life that I wont ever get back. I know the two of you are trying to be here for me but the best way for you to do that is if you let me get myself together. I need to deal with this on my own. I know you probably don't understand why and to be honest I don't either. I just do." Now Wesley was the one to speak. "Chris we are all boys and if you need us to chill out for a minute we will. Just know if you need anything just holler at us. Okay?" "I know dudes I love you guys." They both looked at me with shocked faces, "Wh at??" I asked. Andrew spoke. "Nothing its just we've all been friends for like what, six or seven years? And that is the first time I've ever heard you use the word " dude" . Mr. Education using slang its just a little tripped to me." Through the tears that were gathering in my eyes I had to laugh. "Well what can I tell you it's this beach living. It's turning me into thug." I replied. Wesley interjected. "Don't you mean a beach bum?" Andrew playfully knocked him upside his head and we all laughed. I hoped that this wouldn't be the last light hearted moment that I would share with them. I pulled them both into a hug that lasted a little to longer than normally. As we pulled apart Wesley made some sort of comment of us looking like a bunch of fags and Andy cracked up agreeing. I just smiled because I was use to those kind of comments from them. I have been hearing gay jokes from them since the sixth grade and I would be a liar if I said that they didn't hurt me. I `ve known that I was different every since I was little . Even before Hector made me do all those things that he did but I never could place just what made me feel that way. As I grew older I thought that maybe I just thought that I was gay because of what had happened to me. I thought that maybe I was BI but the interest in girls never came. But I realized the truth when I had my first crush on a boy in seventh grade. His name was Saul and he came from India. I thought that he was the most beautiful thing that I ever saw. He looked like he was black with extremely smooth dark brown skin. He had these big dark brown eyes and short jet black hair. To me he was the most beautiful thing that I ever saw. We had gym together. It would drive me crazy to see him run around during soccer. I would have to catch myself to stop from staring. He was the first boy that I can honestly say that I felt an attraction to. An honest raw want to be near him. But I never allowed my self to get any closer to him than an occasional hi or random conversation about the likely hood that Power Rangers really existed. Now I loved my best friends, we were like brothers but I knew that they couldn 't find out that I`m into guys. I knew that there would come a time when they would have to know the truth but I didn't plan on that happening any time soon. Especially with the way they made fun of gays. They left agreeing to what I had asked. As I watched them walk away from me and intense sadness washed over my body. I couldn't help but feel that I just pushed the last links to my happiness away. A song by My Chemical Romance came to mind , "I'm Not Okay ( I Promise ). The chorus played inside my head. "I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay" I was to start tenth grade that year. My new school was completely and utterly Caucasian. I was the only minority of any type there. I was a little nervous to say the least. Coming from Montclair I had gotten used to being around people of just every type of nationality you could think of. Race was an unimportant issue there. I don't know why but I just naturally assumed that they would think of me as the "little black kid". During my first day, something unexpected happened. Nothing at all. All my fears about being outcast were unfound. Despite this school looking like a bag of rice every one was so friendly to me and made me feel welcome. If any thing they were extra friendly, curious to know who this black kid with the hazel green eyes were. My shy introverted nature was really tested with the outpouring of friendliness I received. I was eight months into the school year and still hadn't had more than one or two phone calls a month to Andy and Wesley. I was staring to adjust to my new school and even hung out with a couple of people from time to time. No one I would consider friends because to be honest I didn't want to get close to anyone. It was just with everything that had happened to me during my life, I didn't want to let someone else in who could cause me pain. My Aunt Mickey was one of those people. I think she understood because she never made an attempt to try and get closer to me than I would allow. Besides she was too busy living her own life. She was a free spirit in every since of the word. She was young at 33 and still wanted to party. She was always out at this party or that one. She was a wild woman and she didn't care if I saw it. Many times she would throw parties late into the night when she knew I had to get up for school the next morning. Having a small studio apartment did not make for much privacy. I really liked Mickey but I hated the way she lived her life. It wasn't in an destructive manner just a careless one. It amazed me how she was still able to get up in the morning for her jobs. Aunt Mickey had three . She was and Artist, a Photographer and Florist. I know, weird, but that was Aunt Mickey (like the mouse ). So a few more months pasted and the school year was just about over when my Aunt Mickey told me something that I was not at all prepared for. She sat me down and began to speak. " Chris, honey do you like living here?" "Yeah at first I didn't but it's okay now….why?" "Well…..how would you feel if we moved." "Move? What do you mean move?" " Well sweetheart you know how I take pictures right?" Mickey was beginning to get on my nerves the way she was talking to me like I was a little kid. I had been sixteen for over a month at the time. I let my irritation show. " Yeah you are a PHOTOGRAPHER right?!" "I suppose trying to ease you into this isn't going to work so I'll be blunt. I was offered a job working under a very prestigious photographer for the summer." "Well if it's only for the summer why are we going to move?" "Well it's a chance that this could turn into a permanent position. This is the exact thing that I need to get my career going. What do you think?" Honestly I didn't want to move. I mean this place wasn't so bad, I was just getting used to it. But this seemed like it was important to Aunt Mickey . I could tell her how I really felt but what would be the point. I would never want to stand in her way. I already felt bad enough that she had to look after me so what kind of person would I be to prevent her from doing something that she obviously wanted to do. "Aunt Mickey if this is something that you want to do than I am all for it. So where are we moving to"? She got quiet and the nervous look on her face made me nervous. She started to get fidgety and stood up to walk across the room trying to buy herself some time. I spoke a little louder than I usually did. "Aunt Mickey, WHERE are we moving to"? I repeated. "Newark." When she said that my heart fell from my chest and dropped into my stomach. The two years that I spent in the youth house were not pleasant ones. The crime, the pain and all the grit of that city was something I didn't want to go back to. A small part of me didn't want to go because it was a ghetto. I have never been a tough kid and if my early years were so difficult, how would it be now? I was only a kid then, getting picked on by other kids. I could only imagine what would happen to me now that these same kids were older. If they were brutal then how would they be now……OH GOD! I did not want to go. "NEWARK!!! WHY NEWARK!!!" I screamed. Mickey was taken back a little by my outburst put put on a calm face. She sat back down and spoke softly to me while rubbing my back. "I know baby that this is a shock but it's were the job is located and my friend Tammy is going to lease us her house. I know that you had some bad experiences there but I promise you this is not going to be the Newark that you remember." She has no clue what she is asking me to do. "Why can't we live in a city near there, like Union or Belleville?" "Because if we don't live there I can't get this job. This requires a Newark resident." "What exactly are you going to be doing?" "Well my boss is Roger Williams. He has won Pulitzer Prizes for his photos. They depict urban life. What I would be doing is essentially that. I would be working under him as an assistant to a new project he's working on. But I have to move there so I can get a real sense of what life there is really like." "Aunt Mickey, I can tell you how life there was for me. I used to get picked on every day. Do you know how many times I got beat up because some guy thought that I thought I was too good to be there? HUH! Do you know what it's like for them to call you names every moment of the day until you would break down and cry? And those were the good times. You don't even want to know what the bad times were like." All of those memories kept coming back. I couldn't control my emotions. The tears fell and the sobs wracked my body. All the things that I swallowed down came back up and I cried. I cried for my real mother. I cried for what Hector did to me. I cried for my adopted parents. I cried for the fact that I pushed all my friends away. I cried because I felt so alone and helpless. But I mostly cried because I knew I would be moving........................... Copyright 2004