Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2000 10:15:47 -0700 (MST) From: pete Subject: The Ballad of JT, Chapter Two, Gay Male, High School Sorry this took so long. I have several more chapters ready to go, so I should be able to update more often. I am working on a website, but it isn't completed yet. Copyright Notice - This story is copyright by Pete Roholt and the author retains all rights. You may distribute, copy or print this story however you like, as long as this copyright notice remains intact and you do not change the story in any way. Also you may not charge any fee to anyone to distribute or access this story. Okay you all know the routine if you ain't supposed to read this don't. If you do don't get caught. If male to male affection and or sex bothers you get lost. There isn't any sex in this part and probably won't be any for a while. This story is going to deal with being outed in high school, gay bashing, suicide and other intense themes (If my writing is up to it ) This is fiction it isn't true some scenes are based on my own experiences with names changed to protect the guilty. Any comments will be welcome pistonpolisher@webtv.net please include nifty in the subject line thanks. I really appreciate all of the emails I have recieved. I think I responded to everyone, but if I missed you I am sorry. Now for our feature presentation. The Ballad Of JT By Pete Roholt Chapter Two I feel like I'm floating. I don't really feel anything. Where am I? Fuck it, I'll just go to sleep. My god my head hurts. Where am I? I don't recognize this place. What's that awful smell? "Hello John, good to see you awake." I tried to turn my head to look at who was talking to me, but I couldn't. It really hurt to try. I couldn't see. I COULDN'T SEE! Oh no I'm blind. I tried to talk, but no words would come out. It feels like there is something in my throat. I felt like I couldn't move it was so frightening. I started to shake. "Easy John, you're going to be all right." The voice said and I felt arms on my shoulders. Not holding me down more reassuring me. The voice continued, "I'm Nurse Johnson, but you can call me Elaine. You're in St. A's hospital in Bismarck. Try to relax. I'm calling your doctor." I stopped struggling figuring it wouldn't do any good. How did I get here I must remember. Think JT, think. My memories started to wash through my mind. Jimmy! I gotta find Jimmy. I started to struggle again. Again I felt hands on my shoulders. The same soft voice said, "John you must try and settle down. You can't get up yet. Please try and and relax." I heard foot steps like tennis shoes on a gym floor. That reminds me of something.. what? Oh s--- I remember now. I was in the gym then the lights went out and someone pulled something over my head. Oh god it hurt people were punching me then I fell and pulled myself into a ball and I could feel people kicking me. Then...nothing. That same soft voice I heard again only this time it was whispering like she didn't want me to hear. "He came to about five minutes ago. His B/P is stable at 120/80 his respirations are normal, but his pulse is elevated at 110 his temp. is still slightly elevated at 99.3°. He's been struggling to get up." Another voice this time masculine and deep said, "Thanks Elaine." "John," the mans voice said. "I'm Dr. Shannon. You're an awfully lucky young man." Funny I don't feel so damned lucky. "I'm going to remove the tube in your throat," Dr. Shannon said. "Just relax your throat muscles, it's going to feel a little weird when I pull the tube out." Eww god I feel like I'm going to puke. "Okay all done. Try and talk." I meant to say "What happened," but "Whucugal" was all that came out. Boy is my throat dry. Dr. Shannon said, "Here is some water only take a small sip." I felt a glass at my lips and swallowed some. "That better?" I swallowed a couple of times then managed to say, "Yeah, thanks." "How do you feel?" I swallowed again, I never realized how much work talking could be. "Like I got run over by a truck. Am I blind?" "No John, there is some gauze covering your eyes. There isn't anything wrong with your eyes." Dr Shannon said. " You've been unconscious for four days it's going to take a while for you to feel better." "Four days!" I shouted, well I tried to shout but it was more of a hoarse whisper. "Easy John," Dr. Shannon said, "Do you remember what happened?" I closed my mouth tightly. "John, you can trust me anything you say to me is strictly between us." "I think I got beat up because... because," Oh god could I say it,"because I'm gay." "John it's okay, everything is going to be okay." I could feel the tears start. Except on the 'net and Jimmy I had never said that to anyone. "Jimmy, is Jimmy okay?" "Uh, they didn't bring anyone in called Jimmy, John." Dr. Shannon said. "Please Doc call me JT that's what everyone calls me. John is my Dad. Where are my folks?" I said. "They've been here around the clock since you got here. I finally persuaded them to go get some sleep last night. Elaine has already called them they should be here soon." "Thanks. Um Doctor please don't tell them what I told you. They don't know that I'm well uh gay." "JT I already told you everything you tell me is just between us. I do think you should tell them though, they will want to know why you were beat up." "Thanks, Doc. I'll think about it." "Try and get some rest now," He said. I tried to relax, but my mind was racing. What happened to me? What happened to Jimmy? Think JT, think. Hmm it's brighter than it was last time. I'm gonna try and open my eyes. "Hey I can see." I said. "JT Oh thank god you are awake at last." My mom said. "Mom it's good to see you." "About time you wake up." My father said. "Good to see you too, Dad." "JT," Mom said, "What happened. Why ?" "I don't think you two really want to know." "Tell us." I closed me eyes and swallowed. "Mom, Dad... I'm gay." I waited to hear yelling or crying or something and they said nothing. I turned my head and looked at them. Another time and the looks on their faces would have been funny, but I was really afraid I had lost them. "You can't be." My Dad said. "I am. I don't want to hurt you, but I can't lie to you. I got beat up because I am gay." "You can't be." My Dad repeated. Then he turned around and walked out of the room. "Dad, Dad." I called but to no avail. I looked at my Mom and said, "Mom are you okay." "JT, you're my son and I love you, but I don't understand. You're just a boy how can you possibly know if your like that." "Trust me Mom I know. I've known for a long time." I said, "Mom I love you, more than that I need you... and Dad." She came over and hugged me gently. Then she whispered to me "I love you too and I will always be here for you. Your Dad will too just give him some time." Just then Dr. Shannon came in with a nurse. "Sorry to interrupt, but I need to examine JT, if you would excuse us Mrs. Clark." "Okay, JT everything will be okay. I'll go talk to your dad he will be okay. Love you." "I love you too Mom." I said. "Did you tell your folks?" Dr. Shannon asked. "Yeah." "How did they take it?" "Dad walked out of the room saying I couldn't be." I replied, "But mom seems to be doing okay." "Well I'm here if you need to talk, in fact I wanted to talk to you about seeing a psychiatrist." "Why?" "He can help you deal with your feelings. Plus there might be some other things you could talk with him about." "Alright if you say so." "That's the way. Okay now to the things at hand. You are a very lucky young man." "I don't feel very lucky." "You are believe me. You have six broken ribs one almost punctured a lung, but it didn't. You have a severe concussion and had to be stitched up several places on your head. Your nose was broken as well as your left fore arm. Your right shoulder was dis-located and has been set back in place. You are going to have some pain in your back as a result of being kicked along your spine it should resolve itself in a few months. You might need to use a cane or something for a while. You have numerous bruises all over your body consistent with being kicked by someone wearing cowboy boots." Then he reached and pulled my gown up around my neck. I looked down and it seemed I was black and blue from my neck to my feet. "Oh boy they did a number on me didn't they?" I said. Dr. Shannon looked at me and said, "Yeah I told you you were lucky. Okay I'm going to remove the catheter I want you to get up and start walking as soon as you can. The sooner you start walking the sooner you'll get out of here and feel better. Just relax while I pull this out it will feel a little strange." Strange hell it hurt, but it felt better with it out. "Some one from physical therapy will be in in a few minutes to go walking with you, don't walk by yourself until I say so." Dr. Shannon said as he walked out the door. "Sure, thanks Doc." I replied. After the therapy aide and I returned from my short walk, talk about torture, I lay down and slept for a little while. A nurse woke me after a while and took my vitals. I asked if I could use the phone and she told me how to get the switchboard. I dialed Jimmy's number after several rings I heard Mrs. O'brien answer "Hello." "Hi is Jimmy there?" "Is that you JT?" "Yes ma'am." "He's not here and don't you ever call here again. I wish there were some way we could put you up on charges. You're sick and perverted. I never want to see or talk to you again." Then she slammed the phone down. I just stared at the phone in my hand and the tears started to come. "I've lost him what am I going to do without Jimmy."