Date: Tue, 21 Mar 2000 09:25:30 -0700 (MST) From: pete Subject: The Ballad of JT, Chapter 4, Gay Male, High School Copyright Notice - This story is copyright by Pete Roholt and the author retains all rights. You may distribute, copy or print this story however you like, as long as this copyright notice remains intact and you do not change the story in any way. Also you may not charge any fee to anyone to distribute or access this story. Okay you all know the routine if you ain't supposed to read this don't. If you do don't get caught. If male to male affection and or sex bothers you get lost. This story is going to deal with being outed in high school, gay bashing, suicide and other intense themes (If my writing is up to it ) This is fiction it isn't true some scenes are based on my own experiences with names changed to protect the guilty. Any comments will be welcome pistonpolisher@webtv.net The Ballad of JT Chapter Four I suppose I could tell you all about being in the hospital. The crappy food and all of the nurses poking me with needles, but it really doesn't matter. Time drags by very slowly in the hospital and after 11 days I just wanted to go home. Even if that meant going back to school. "Hi JT," Dr Shannon said. "How are you this fine morning?" "I'm bored as hell Doc." I said," When can I get of here?" "Oh how does this afternoon sound to you?" "That sounds great to me. Thanks Doc." "You're very much welcome." He smiled. "JT, do you think you're ready to go back to school or would you like a little more time? If you want I can write you a note excusing you for another week to allow you to heal up more." "I am kind of afraid of going back, but I think I should just take the bull by the horns and get it over with." I said. "Okay, but I'm going to write a note and if you need to you can leave school when you want for the next week. If the pressure gets to be too much or if they start to get physical with you I want you to take a break. As fast and as far as you have come you are still a long ways from being okay. You are going to be tender for a long time. I want you to do a lot of walking, but I don't want you to over do the exercise. Your body will tell you if you over do it. Oh yeah no horseback riding for six weeks. If you would get thrown you might really injure yourself." "Thrown? Me?" I grinned. "You're looking at the best horseman in three states." "Lie much?" We both laughed. "Well I'll see you on rounds this afternoon before you leave. You should be out of here by three o'clock" "Thanks Doc." I said as he walked out the door. An aide brought my breakfast tray in, so I dug into the lukewarm oatmeal. ewww "Morning sweetie." Mom said as she came in the room. "Hi Mom." I said, "Dr. Shannon says I can go home this afternoon." "Oh that's great news. I better call your Dad. What time did the Doctor say?" "By three o'clock. Ask Dad if he'll bring some jeans and a jacket too." Well filing out the paper work and getting last instructions from the doctors and nurses took most of the day up, but at last they let me go. They made me ride in a wheelchair out to my parents van. Before we left Bismarck I insisted that we stop and pick up some food. Two big mac's, a large fries and a large chocolate shake and I felt much better. I slept most of the way home, funny how much a person can sleep when they don't feel good. The first thing I did when I got home was to go online and write my friends I knew they would be worried not having heard from me for almost two weeks. I told them in chat about being outed and bashed at school. God I wish those guys were here. When I was online with them I didn't feel so isolated. Then Mom yelled down stairs that supper was ready. Ribeye steak, baked potatoes and a salad. That just about made up for all the crap they fed me in the hospital. Dad had picked up my homework so I spent friday and saturday mostly doing two weeks of school work. Saturday night my twin cousins Denver and Dallas came over to spend the night while their folks went out for their anniversary. If they weren't in trouble all of the time they could have stayed by themselves, but Uncle Jesse didn't think the house would still be standing if they were left alone. Denver and Dallas are identical twins 5'10", blonde and blue eyes. Except for my brown eyes and being a little taller I could have been a triplet we looked that much alike. I knew they were here when I heard them on the stairs they always manage to sound like ten 15 year olds instead of just two. I was sitting on a couch watching tv in the family room which is in the basement right next to my room. They came in and sat down and just stared at me. "What?" I finally said. "Uh JT?" Denver asked, always the leader of the two, "Is it true?" "Is what true?" I asked. "Are you gay?" Denver asked. "Yeah guys, I am." "But you don't act like a girl or anything." Denver said. "That's because I'm not a girl. I'm a guy. I just happen to be attracted to other guys." "Why?" Denver asked. "I don't know why. Let me ask you, why are you attracted to girls?" I asked. "Just because we are." Denver said. "Exactly!" I said. "It's just the way I am. Are you guys going to be okay with me, or would you rather I left you alone." Denver and Dallas looked at each other then Dallas said "JT, after you got beat up we went home and Dad asked us what had happened so we told him about the rumor. He told us that no matter what happened you're his nephew and he still loved you even if you were gay. After talking to him, Denver and I decided that although we don't understand we still feel the same about you as always." "Thanks guys, that means a lot to me." I said. "How have things been in school? Or more importantly what do you think I am up against on Monday?" "Oh man," Dallas said, "things have been pretty tense. After they beat you up there were deputies all over the school asking questions. They've been there off and on ever since." "On last monday," Denver continued, "we had a big assembly. It lasted all morning with Principle Stein and several of the teachers lecturing about violence and trying to get someone to come forward to rat out anyone involved in beating you up. I've asked around about who it was, but no one would say. We think we know who it was, but no one will ever prove it." "The football team?" I asked. "Yeah," said Dallas. "Do you remember?" " I don't remember anything after the lights went out except feeling a blanket being pulled over my head and someone telling me I was going to die." I said, "I figured the football team because they are the biggest homophobes in school." "Umm what about monday?" I asked. "It isn't going to be fun." Denver said. "But I don't think you have to worry about them getting physical again." "The words out," Dallas said, "that no one is supposed to talk to you. But since Denver and I had a fight with that asshole Randy when he asked if we were queer too no one says much to us about it." "You two fought Randy?" I asked with a grin. "Yeah," Denver said. "I think everyone got the idea that no matter what else don't screw with the Clarks." "I'm sorry," I said, "that this is coming down on the rest of you." "Don't worry about it JT." Dallas said. "I think most of the kids don't care, but they are afraid to say anything." "Boys!!!! Supper is ready." We heard Mom yell. So we quit talking and went to eat. "JT," My mom whispered, "How are they taking it?" "Everything is fine Mom. Right guys?" I said. "Yeah Aunt Sarah as long as he doesn't try anything we're fine." Denver said. "You wait until I'm healed and I'm gonna kick some cousin butt." I joked. "You and what army?" Dallas said. "I never needed an army before." "Boys settle down and eat your pizza." Mom said with a smile. "At least this is like old times." After supper we went back down to the family room and watched a couple of videos. Denver had fell asleep about half way through the second movie. After the second video was over Dallas and I were just sitting there listening to some country music turned down low. "JT, what's it like?" Dallas asked. "Huh? What's what like?" I replied. "Uh sex with another guy." "I imagine it's a lot like sex with a girl." I said."Why do you want to know?" "Well," he looked at Denver to make sure he was sleeping, "sometimes I wonder if I'm maybe bi or something." "You know Dallas, it isn't uncommon for guys our age to expiriment a little it doesn't mean that you're gay if your curious." "Are you going to tell me or not? What was it like with you and Jimmy?" "What we did was great, but we hadn't gone very far. We wanted to wait until we could have some time to ourselves to really explore each other. But you know the best part was holding hands with him or cuddling or sometimes just looking into his eyes." I stood up and walked into my room trying not to cry again. "Oh god I miss him." I said as the sobs took control of me. I felt Dallas' hands take a hold of me and turned me to face him then he drew me into a hug. "It's going to be okay JT, everything will be okay." He said. It felt so good to be held by another boy. I put my head on his shoulder and just let everything go. After a while my tears dried up, but I continued to hold Dallas. I snuggled into his neck and breathed deep inhaling his boyish smell. I could feel the muscles of his back through his shirt. I knew I was getting aroused, but I couldn't stop. I slipped my hands down his strong back until my hands were gripping his butt. I could feel his stiff manhood rubbing against my own. Remembering who I was holding I suddenly broke the embrace. "I'm sorry Dallas. I didn't mean to do that." I said. "Shh, JT it takes two to tango as they say. I wanted to too." Dallas said. "Dallas we're cousins I don't think we should do this. Especially not with Denver asleep in the next room." "Yeah, I guess you're right he would really freak if he found us doing something." "I think we better get to sleep Dallas." I said. "Can I sleep in your bed?" He asked. "After what we just did..." "I mean in my sleeping bag silly." He interrupted. "Oh, yeah that would be okay." After we were in bed Dallas said "Thanks for earlier." "My pleasure... oh shit that didn't come out like..." "It was my pleasure too JT." Dallas said. "Uh Dallas would you hold me?" I asked He put his arms around me and that's the last I remember. For the first time since I got beat up not one nightmare.