Date: Tue, 4 Jul 2000 03:49:39 -0600 (MDT) From: pete Subject: The Ballad of JT, Chapter 9, gay male high school Copyright Notice - This story is copyright by Pete Roholt and the author retains all rights. You may distribute, copy or print this story however you like, as long as this copyright notice remains intact and you do not change the story in any way. Also you may not charge any fee to anyone to distribute or access this story. Okay you all know the routine if you ain't supposed to read this don't. If you do don't get caught. If male to male affection and or sex bothers you get lost. This story is going to deal with being outed in high school, gay bashing, suicide and other intense themes (If my writing is up to it ) This is fiction it isn't true some scenes are based on my own experiences with names changed to protect the guilty. Any comments will be welcome pistonpolisher@webtv.net The Ballad Of JT Chapter Nine By Pete Roholt Umm well this Jason, I really don't want to do this, but I guess I will. please excuse my spelling and grammar and shit I'm not good at this stuff. I told JT he had to do the introductions of everybody I wasn't gonna write that shit. Well JT showed up just in time it wasn't more than a few minutes later that the rest of the guys showed. We then went into the house and down to the family room. I had been thinking of what I wanted to say all week and I hoped I could say it the way I wanted it to come out. "Umm guys," I said. "I want us to talk a little bit about how we are treating JT." "He's a fag," said Jeff. "My dad says he's going to hell and that we shouldn't have anything to do with him." "Jeff," I started, but was interrupted by Dallas. "Jesus fucking christ." Dallas said, "Do you listen to everything your dad says? Hell no you don't usually pay any attention to him, so why is this different?" "Dallas, settle down." Kurt said. "I don't think that what Jeff is saying is all untrue. I don't want to hang with him any more either. I mean he might try something." 'Now wait..." I tried to interrupt but the guys just went on from there. My whole plan rapidly deteriorated into a shambles. The guys were saying all of these untrue things and I couldn't get a word in edgewise. The only three people that weren't tearing into JT were the twins and I. "WOULD YOU PEOPLE PLEASE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Dallas yelled. Now Dallas is usually very quiet and doesn't say anything and when he yelled everyone instantly stopped talking. "I want to say a few things and I would appreciate it if all of you would just keep your god damned mouths shut." Dallas went on. "JT has always been there for each and everyone of us. No matter what we needed he was there. No matter how bad of a position it put him in he was there." "Kurt, when your dad had his heart attack who was it that made sure all the chores were done and the horses and cattle were fed? Who was it that did his own chores and then went to your place and did all of yours?" "Well JT..." Kurt started. "I told you to keep your fuckin' mouth shut." Dallas said. It looked like Kurt was about to kill Dallas but you could see him change his mind. "Let me have my say and then you can talk." Dallas continued. "It was JT that's who it was even though his folks were mad at him for neglecting things at their place he still helped you out." "Paul when your Mom died who was there the entire time? Who was it that held you through the funeral? Who was it that made sure you were okay? Who was it that missed school because one of his friends needed him? It was JT." "Tommy when your horse came up lame just before the rodeo last summer who's horse did you ride? When you get drunk and are afraid to go home who's house do you crash at?" "Jeff when your old man decides to use you as a punching bag who do you turn to? Your dad is so fucking holy but he still beats his wife and children." "Bob remember when you got left in Bismarck by those so called friends of yours and you needed to get home? Who did you call? Did you know that JT lost his driving privileges for two weeks because his Dad caught him coming home at five in the morning?" "Luke who is the first one to back you up in a fight when someone calls you a breed? Hell usually JT is fighting before you even know it is happening." "And lastly Brian, JT would kill me if he knew I was telling you this. When your horse Buck had to be put down. Where did you get another horse?" "My Dad bought it." Brian said. "With what? Air? Shit JT knew you and your folks couldn't afford another horse so he gave Charlie to your dad for you under the condition that you didn't know that it was a gift. Shit Charlie is the best horse JT has ever trained and he gave it away because he knew that if he didn't you wouldn't be able to ride any more." "All of you you sit there and you say all these things about him and what has he ever done to deserve it? Nothing not one fucking thing, but you are afraid he'll rape you or something." "We've all been camping together since we were kids and he has never done anything with any of us. We have all slept together sharing the same blankets and beds or sleeping bags and he has never made a pass at any of us." "He has been there for each and every one of us time and time again. He has put his ass on the line for us and will continue to do so no matter whether you remain his friends or not." "Now JT is my cousin, that means he is family and in my family you don't abandon family members. You guys are my best friends, but if it comes to a choice I have only one and that is JT. You accept him or else you can all go fuck yourselves." Then Dallas got up and walked out. The guys were all very quiet. I noticed that everyone was just kind of looking at their feet. The silence seemed deafening. "Wow," Denver said ending the lull. "That is as much as I haver ever heard him say at one time in our whole lives. Dallas speaks for me too, we are Clarks and no matter what we stick up for each other." "Guys," I said. "JT is my best friend. Our Moms are best friends, when I was still a baby Mom would put my in the same crib as JT. We've shared everything since then. We are brothers in everything except blood, that too if you count the blood brother ceremony we did when we were ten." "Am I comfortable with the fact that he is gay? No, I'm not. But to me that doesn't mean anything because still no matter what to me he will always be JT. I simply can't forget the 16 years of love and friendship we have." "Now you guys are very important to me. When I go someplace and you are there I know I don't need to watch my back because you are there for me. When I need help I know you will be there." "No matter what you decide, know that I am here for you. But if I have to choose between you guys and JT... I have to choose JT." The guys were all really quiet and, as I expected to happen, slowly everyone looked at Kurt. Sometimes being a leader isn't easy and I was glad that I was just a follower now. Kurt stood and stretched then looked at me and said, "Jase you got any beer?" "Yes I have some, but it is staying put until we get this thing taken care of. This too serious and I want everyone to have a clear head. You want a Coke?" He shook his head then said, "Well we know where the Clark's stand on this and we have heard Jason's opinion. Usually we do things by vote in this group and let the majority rule. Now let's talk about this, I don't want anyone to interrupt each other. Let everyone have their say. Then we'll vote on paper so no one will have to see how anyone voted" "I guess I'll start. I am uncomfortable with the whole idea, I mean two guys fucking God it makes me want to puke. But like Dallas said JT has always been there for me." When he finished he looked around and said, "Let's do this by age, Paul what do you have to say?" "Well," Paul said, "when my Mom died JT never left me alone." Then he grinned, "We even slept in the same bed for close to a week. He never did anything to me then. He has been my friend, but I'll go with what the group decides." Kurt pointed at Luke and said, "Luke your next." "Dad's people always said," Luke replied, "that gay people are special. According to tribal lore they have special powers. I know what discrimination feels like and looking back I can't believe how bad I have been about gay people. I talked with my Dad about this a lot. JT has always been there to stand up against bigots for me and I can hardly turn away from him. I think we need him as much or more than he needs us." "Brian what about you?" Kurt asked. "What they did to JT isn't right no one deserves to be treated like that. What we have been doing to him isn't right. But I'll go with what the group decides. I don't know I am going to do about Charlie though." "Jeff?" Kurt asked. "The Bible is clear about this stuff. He's gonna go to hell for it. I don't like my father very well, but I can't disobey him. If JT stays I have to go." Jeff said. "Bob you're up." Kurt said. "What the hell we are already the misfits hell we got a jock and a breed why not a fag too." Bob said trying to, and not succeeding in making a joke out of it. "Sorry guys I guess that wasn't very funny. JT is okay with me as long as he leaves my ass alone. Besides think of all the jokes I can get him with." "I guess that just leaves me huh?" Tommy asked. "I think homosexuality is not only wrong, but it is just ... shit I don't even know how to say it. It really makes me sick, but I'll go with the group on it." "Okay," Kurt said, "Now that everyone has had their say let's vote. Jason get some paper and pens, at least there are nine of us so there won't be tie." After we voted Kurt counted them. "It looks like," Kurt announced, "five to four JT stays I guess." "Guys, I'm sorry," Jeff said, "but if that is how you are going to play this I am out of here." With that he got up and walked out. The rest of us just sat there kind of looking stunned. "Jase, I want a beer." Kurt said. "You should give JT a call and tell him to get his ass over here so we can get back to normal." I broke out the Bud. As everyone got up to help themselves to a beer I pushed the intercom to my room, "JT you can come down now. They voted to accept you." OK I'm going to let JT go on with this. I really hate writing. Well after I went up to Jason's room I couldn't concentrate on anything, not even on the stories at nifty. So I just lay back on Jase's bed to try and relax. I must have fell asleep as the next thing I remember is Dallas storming in to the room red faced and angry with tears streaming out of his eyes. "What's wrong Dallas?" I asked as I stood up. He didn't say anything just wrapped his arms around me and cried. I could feel the tension in his body. After what seems like an eternity Dallas spoke up. "I'm sorry JT, but I lost my temper. They were all saying all of these terrible things and I... well I uh just lost it. I cussed them all out and asked each of them about what you had done for them and then I just walked out. Umm JT I don't think they are going to accept you back in to the group." Then he lapsed back into tears. "Shh Dally," I crooned softly into his ear. "Everything will be okay. I didn't really expect this to work anyway." I had just gotten Dallas calm down when Jase buzzed me on the intercom to tell me that everything was back to normal. Before we went down to the family room I made Dallas stop in the bathroom and I applied cold wash cloths to his eyes to make the redness go away. "We don't want the boys to give you shit for crying now do we?" As we entered the family room all of the guys turned to face me. I knew this wasn't going to be as simple as Jase had made it out to be. Then I noticed that Jeff wasn't there. "Where is Jeff?" I asked. "Well," Kurt replied, "He left. He said he can't disobey his old man." "Shit, that isn't how I want this." I said "Go get Jeff and I'll leave." "No JT," Kurt said, "Majority rules that s how we always have ran this group and it isn't changing now. He made his choice and the group made its, if he wants us he knows where we are." After that we just started to drink and shoot the bull. Well they drank I couldn't with my medicine. Some of the guys came up and talked to me about how bad they felt for abandoning me but a couple of them didn't. I guess it will take me some time to regain my position in our group. The important thing was that I was still a part of the group. I was one of the first ones awake the next morning the smell of stale beer and unwashed boys was thick in the family room. I made my way to the kitchen I made breakfast for everyone even though it being at Jason's it was his responsibility to feed us. About ten that morning I made my home. After seeing Dallas saddled up and on his way I went into my house. "JT," Mom called. "There is a letter here from New York. I think it's from Jimmy." I grabbed the letter and tore it open. As I read it I could feel the blood drain from my body. "OH GOD NO!!!!!!!!!" I screamed. Well there it is at long last. I know it has a bit of a cliff hanger. :-) I am working on the next chapter already. comments are appreciated at pistonpolisher@webtv.net