Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2010 01:05:17 -0400 (EDT) From: jacobmillertex@aol.com Subject: Beneath The Mask: Chapter 5 {Beneath The Mask is pure fiction. I am above the age of 21 as I am writing this story. Any similarity to any other events, names, or life events is pure accidental. If you are under age, (according to your state laws as a minor), if this literature is offensive to you or to anyone around your viewing area, or it is illegal for you to view such content where you are reading it, stop reading the story. This story can't be reproduced or distributed in any way, shape or form without my expressed consent. I would like to say thanks to my editor who volunteers his time not asking for any thanks for his work. On behalf of the readers and myself, I say thank you anyway!} Written by J.P.G. Chapter 5 (MATHEW'S POINT OF VIEW) I know Alex wouldn't be able to tell me what is going on so I decided not to even attempt to ask. I am glad to be here with him. No matter what has happened with him this morning, I just want Alex to be safe. While we ate no one asked Carlos or Alex what in the world is going on. As the morning wore on the rumors became clearer as to what caused the lock down this morning. We all know the other building is still locked down right now. As soon as we finished eating, we headed out to play a game of b-ball. I never get to be captain or pick my team, but since Alex arrived, I have been on his team every time. Sometimes I wish I would be picked by the other team. That way I can guard Alex and rub up against him throughout the game. I know why Alex gets me picked. He doesn't want me to be the last one standing. It only takes a couple of minutes to pick our teams before we start playing. By the end of choosing, we end up on the same team. I noticed that again today. That got me thinking; why don't we just keep the same teams and call each day a rematch. It would save sometime if we would do that. Just as we took center court, Officer Burns walked up to us. He grabbed Alex whispering something in his ear. Alex handed the ball to me in order to leave with Officer Burns. As I watched Alex leave with Officer Burns, I started to think. Mainly Officer Burns is stationed in Building B. He never gets stationed in our building or around the office of Mr. Henderson. Rumor has it that he is on his way out. How true that is, I don't know. Still when he told Alex that Mr. Henderson needs to speak with him, right there I knew something is up and it's not good. I turned to Carlos and waved him over. The look on Carlos faces wasn't one of him being to happy with me calling him over. If I am right, I will need Carlos' way of dealing with this thing. "Look Carlos you and I need to get along. We both have one thing in common and that is making sure Alex is safe and gets out of here. You have your reasons for that and I have mine. No matter what you think my motives are, we need to work together." "Whatever Matt, just tell me what you need man!" Carlos said in short fashion. "It's about the officer that just came and got Alex. Well, let me just say it doesn't feel right. He is assigned to building "B" all the time. He isn't allowed in our building and I hear he isn't allowed to work in Mr. Henderson's office." "So what does all this mean? Just get down to the point. All this explaining you are doing is giving me a headache" Carlos snapped. "Look just come with me and let's see if I'm right or wrong." I walked off the court. At first Carlos just stood there. A few seconds later I heard him running up to me. Neither of us said a word as we entered the building. I walked as fast as I could fall short of running. Once we reached the hallway leading to Mr. Henderson's office I saw him walking out. It looks like he is heading over to building "B". That means I am right about this whole thing. There is no way Officer Burns went down this hallway. Carlos just followed me as I looked into the classrooms. Right as I looked into the window of the third classroom in the hallway. I saw Officer Burns standing over Alex. He is yelling at him and then he started hitting him. I busted into the classroom: "What the hell is going on in here Officer Burns..." Before I could ask him what he is doing to Alex. Carlos tackled him. Alex got up from the floor looking at Carlos as he hit Officer Burns. All of a sudden Alex walked over and pulled Carlos off of him. "Carlos don't do this. He wants us to fuck up where he can write us up and send us back to County. Don't give him that." "Too late Alex. He just gave me what I need. You and him are going straight back to County. Assault on a correctional officer is another charge. For you Alex, it means going away for at least twenty five years." "Officer Burns I don't know what you are talking about. By what I saw walking in here, Carlos pulled you off of Alex. You were beating him with your night stick Officer." I turned around to see Officer Jackson walking into the room. I didn't even know he was following me and Carlos. When did he get behind us and why didn't he stop us coming down the hallway alone during lunch? "Alex, Carlos and Matt please go and join the other students outside in the court yard. Officer Burns and I are going to have a man to man talk. Don't speak a word of this to anyone. If you do, I will have you on a bus back to County" Jackson warned us. We didn't think twice about the order. Carlos and Alex caught up to me in the hallway as I exited the room. At first no one said a word about what just happened. Alex spoke up first. "Hey I need to get back to the room and change for the third time today. We have maybe fifteen minutes of lunch still left. Carlos, you look like you need to head to your room and straighten up a little man." "No, I am ok for now. You go ahead and do what you need to do. I am going to go out and meet up with the others unless you need me to follow you." "No that is cool man. I hope the surprises for today are over once and for all. Which one of you figured out that Officer Burns wasn't on the up and up?" "That is your roommate Alex. He grabbed me to follow him. I promise from now on I won't be so blind about things like this." "Don't worry Carlos. All is fine and you got there in time. Matt, please walk with me so I can talk with you. Hey Carlos thank you for everything you did today. You are one of a kind." Carlos just smiled as he walked down the hall. I followed Alex to the room where he can change his shirt once again. Once we entered the room Alex closed the door by pushing me into it, not in a mean way, but in a loving, passionate way. Without saying a word, Alex started kissing me on my neck. Pinning my hands against the door as he kissed up and down my neck. I got hard instantly as he kissed me. I have never gotten this hard this quick in my life. But whenever I am around Alex I can't control myself. Alex made his way to my lips. As our lips locked, I just melted against the door. Thanks to Alex for holding me up against the door. If he didn't have my hands pined, I would have slid to the floor. As Alex leaned in more, trying to get deeper into the kiss. I know he felt my hard dick. Then I felt something I didn't expect to feel. Alex is as hard as I am right now. I feel his dick rubbing against mine. Damn I want him so damn bad right now. Alex let go one of my hands. At first I started to think maybe he is getting ready to change. He surprised me once again. He wedged his hand into my pants and underwear. Before I knew it, Alex grabbed my dick. He gave it several squeezes before he pulled his hand out. Alex broke the kiss. I stood there against the door with my eyes closed in heaven. Then I felt Alex squeeze my dick several more times. I couldn't believe my dreams are coming true with him. "You don't know how much I love you already Matt. You are everything I could ever ask for or get in a partner. I want you to be mine." I opened my eyes and looked straight into Alex's eyes. I have never seen the look in his that he has right now. It isn't a look of lust. It is a look of pure love. Alex added a smile that just put me over the top. "I am falling for you bad Alex. I am yours if you want me. Just please promise me I am not giving you my heart and then you break it. I really hope this isn't a stage you are going through Alex. I know I am gay!" "Trust me when I say this Matt. It isn't a stage I am going through. I know and have known for years now that I am gay just like you. Look at what you do to me whenever I am around you. It is getting to the point I don't think I can hide it anymore." Alex grabbed my hand and placed it on his dick. I could see the outline of his dick through his pants already. I never expected him to let me touch it this soon. I squeezed it just like he did to mine. I didn't want to let go of it. Alex moved over to his dresser drawers and grabbed another shirt. He pulled off the dirty shirt and put on the clean one. I got a chance to see his chest in the light for the first time. Don't get me wrong, I have looked before. I just couldn't look at him the way I am looking at and seeing him now. He is a built guy, well defined chest, stomach and six packs. I just love the color of his skin, brown. His nipples of his chest, a nice rosy red, stood out. No hair in sight anywhere on his chest just like me. The only difference is I am white and not as built. "Alex, I was wondering if you will ever grow out your hair." "Do you think it would look good on me Matt?" "You're one handsome guy either way. I just would like to see how you look with longer hair. Not long, long hair; just not a shaved head." "I know what you mean Matt. I will grow it out for you. I will do anything that you ask. That is how badly in love I am with you Matt. Just ask and if I can do it, I will." Alex came up to me and kissed me once again on the lips. Right as our lips touched, the bell rang for the afternoon classes. Alex broke the kiss and we headed out of the room. For the rest of the afternoon I felt like I am walking on air. I can't explain it any other way except I am not on earth right now. (OFFICER JACKSON'S POINT OF VIEW) Officer Burns straightened himself up as we made our way to Mr. Henderson's office. He didn't say a word to me the whole way over. I know he wants to, but couldn't get the words out of his mouth. I might be playing a dirty officer, but Officer Burns IS a dirty officer. What does it take to turn against what you are sworn to uphold? I can't understand the reasoning or motivations that make Officer Burns do what he is doing. He is only hurting himself, no one else. Once we walked into Mr. Henderson's office, Officer Burns stood in front of the desk. I explained to Mr. Henderson why we are there. What I saw from the moment I met up with Matt and Carlos to what I saw in classroom. "Officer Burns's do you have anything to say or add to what Officer Jackson just said. Keep in mind you have no creditability with me. Officer Jackson came in with me to clean up this place. I just couldn't prove anything against you." "Your angel here is dirty as much as I am sir. It is time that someone tells you that you can longer trust him here anymore." "Instead of throwing around empty words, give me proof. If he is dirty like you say he is, he is gone. Where is your proof, Officer Burns?" Officer Burns just stood there looking at Mr. Henderson. I know he knows he is gone. Nothing he can say or do is going to change that. He broke his sworn duty. He doesn't know why I am doing this. "I have no proof sir. Just keep an eye on him and you will see. He thinks he is the only officer working for Alex and them and he is wrong. You'd better send Alex in with the rest of the animals he calls his gang. He hasn't changed Mr. Henderson. He is pulling your leg. He's so deep in running things in here. I don't even know where to start." "Why don't you sit down here and write out a full statement. Include everything Alex is involved in and all the guards that are mixed up in this. I will look into it. If Officer Jackson is guilty, he is gone. If Alex is back running things, I won't even bother sending him into the other building. He will be catching a bus to reunite with his father and family." Officer Burns sat down and wrote out fifteen pages of detailed information. Everything he said about Alex we already knew. Alex has reported everything to us that he has done so far. The names that Officer Burns wrote down confirmed the names that Alex got this morning from Samuel. We now know what Samuel said is true. "Officer Burns I am suspending without pay. You will be suspended until your hearing. You will be notified in the mail when that is going to happen. Until then you can't come onto this property. I will speak on your behalf that you tried to help out once you were caught. Maybe with this you can save your petition. I am not giving you any promises. Your file is full of things that dishonor your badge and position here. You won't be allowed to clear your stuff from your locker or desk. Anything you have will be packed and sent to your home. Let me remind you, we will be looking at everything before we send it off. You will be escorted off the property." Officer Burns just looked at me and Mr. Henderson. He had to know this day was coming. He was wrong for helping out the inmates that are involved with the gangs. How many injuries and deaths has he caused? We will never know the full extent of damage he did by looking the other way and helping out. Two other guards walked into the office. Mr. Henderson told them that they will be escorting Mr. Burns off the property. Before Mr. Burns walked out, Mr. Henderson took his badge and keys from him. Now we have one less guard doing favors for this gang. We did it without destroying Alex's cover. No one can even think in that direction. The stupid guy beat one of the kids we are here to protect. No way can we keep a person like that here. (SAMUEL'S POINT OF VIEW) As the day wore on, the guards kept us in lock down. The only time I got out, is when I spoke with Officer Burns. I needed to know why Alex wanted that information so badly. Now with Diego out of the way, I have a real chance on running things myself. I switched a few words around when I spoke with Officer Burns. I wanted him to believe that Alex is planning to get rid of all guards except Jackson. That means to Officer Burns a cut in his pay. He didn't like the idea out all. He promised that he is going to take care of Alex before he had a chance to execute his plan. So far so good for a plan I just put together minutes before I spoke with Officer Burns. I felt pretty good at what I accomplished today. There isn't anything that could bring me down or so I thought. Boy I am wrong about that. A few of us guys got together to play some cards when one of my lieutenants walked up. He sat down with a message that just shook me up. "Officer Burns has been fired Sam. He took Alex into a classroom in the other building and started to beat on him. Carlos walked in and pulled him off. He was followed by Officer Jackson from what I understand. Not only Carlos saw the beating, Officer Jackson saw it as well." "How much did Officer Burns say to Alex as he beat him?" "This much is for sure. He knows you sent Officer Burns after him. I can't get how much detail Alex got, but enough for him to know who flipped on him." "Fuck! How in the world did Carlos find out about Officer Burn's plans? That stupid officer was supposed to make it look like an accident, not a beating. No wonder the stupid fuck worked here as a guard. He is too fucking stupid to work anywhere else!" "Look Sam, Alex knows what you tried to do. He is going to come after you with everything. He will have the higher ups behind him. They didn't even want you in position from the beginning. We are fucked here Sam." I got up and walked over to my bunk. I now know I am fucked. More so I am a dead man. Alex is willing to beat me like he did earlier not knowing how the others felt about him. Once the others find out I tried to grab control, I am a dead man no matter what. I looked over at Bobby as he sat down on my bunk. "Bobby no matter what I say to these guys, we are dead. They are going to put everything together and know that you were with me on this whole thing. What are we going to do to get out of this mess? Go and talk with Alex. Hope he doesn't go back on his own word." "Look one thing I do know about Alex is this. He will never go back on his word. On the other hand he is not going to keep you in this spot. You are going to be removed. After that he is going to beat you to the inch of your life. I am going to be on the ground right beside you." Bobby and I just sat there thinking. There is only one other way out. That is by asking for protected custody but I really don't want to be in that hall with all the queers and others I have sent there. No I'd better take my beating here and be thankful if I get away with my life.. (ALEJANDRO'S POINT OF VIEW) The week went by fast. I had only one other meeting with Mr. Henderson and Officer Jackson about everything that happened on Monday morning. The only thing they were not happy with was my beating of two inmates but other than that they liked all the information they got from it. Mr. Henderson got heat from his bosses for the killing that took place. At the same time he got praise for getting the killer within hours after finding the body. Under the other director, many killings and beatings never got solved. Diego got sent back to County in order to be charged with a murder count. He will return because of his age, but not for a while. The only way he will be back soon is if he takes a plea on the charge. By Wednesday night I removed Samuel from his position. I met with the new gang member I put in charge in building "B". I decided to no longer give the title second in charge out. Just like in County or the prison system, they are in charge of the dorm they are in. Overall I run everything. I let Samuel live for now. I needed to keep peace here. No more killings or beatings. But that didn't mean Samuel got away scot free. Once the leadership changed, I gave an order for the new dorm leader to carry out. As soon as Ashton got back to the dorm, he had to carry out the order. Thursday morning I got confirmation from Officer Jackson that the order got carried out. Samuel is now in the medical wing of the Detention Facility. Samuel received several broken ribs, busted lip, couple teeth knocked out, and many bruises along his back, stomach and legs. All this he got from the others with an old fashioned weapon; soap bars in a sock. Bobby, Samuel's next in line, got the same. Both of them made a decision that they should be in charge not me. No matter what I think or they do, the decision isn't theirs or mine to make. We all must live with the decisions of the higher ups. By dinner on Thursday, everything had settled down. I didn't have to spend a lot of energy dealing with my gang in building "B". I now can turn my attention to Matt just where I want it to be! Through the week Matt and I stole kisses every chance we could. As we studied after class, we got close and kissed. Most of the time it led to feeling each other up and I know Matt is big by the feel of it. I really want to see for myself. Matt is like a clock, well you can set your watch by him. He sticks to his schedule every day. At this hour he is to be doing this or that. Every day at six, he takes his shower. Today I decided to take a shower with him. I know we won't be able to touch one another. The main reason is because this is the time several others are taking their showers as well. At least I can be sure of my assumption; the assumption that Matt is big where it counts, you know, in the dick department! We might be gay, but we look for the same thing girls do. Is the guy I am going out with big or not? If the isn't, does he know how to use what he has? Some would tell you that their boyfriend is not big, but man does he know how to make love. That is what really matters when it comes down to it. After we finished our homework, Matt got up to get his things to shower. The guard came around to do the count as normal. Once he left our room, I walked up behind Matt to wrap my arms around his body. I held Matt as tight as I could. At the same time I started kissing up and down the back of his neck. I love the way Matt smells. I asked Matt earlier in the week what cologne he wears. That way I can buy him some whenever I want to spoil him. At least there's one thing I can buy him. He showed me the bottle and told me it is a little expensive. No matter the price, I love the way he smells. Matt leaned into me as I started to kiss the side of his neck. I made my way up to his ear and started to nibble on it. That got Matt to moan a little. I want Matt so bad, but we need to both be ready when we do it for the first time. Although I want him really bad, I don't know if I am ready. I started to move my hand down Matt's stomach until it reached his belt. I little more I reached his dick. At that point I started to play with his dick through his jeans. Matt must love it, because he started to moan a little more. He has his eyes closed, but his hands rubbing up and down my legs. I threw caution to the wind at this point. I unzipped Matt's pants and pulled his hard dick out. I looked over Matt's shoulder to get my first look at his dick. I am right; the guy has a huge dick. He has to be at least nine inches, at least. Matt didn't even open his eyes when I pulled out his dick. I figured that is his way of saying he is ok with it. I wrapped my hand around his dick for the first time. In fact this is the first time I have my hand around another guy's dick except my own. I am loving every minute of it. I started out slowly at first jerking Matt off. With the amount of per-cum he is leaking is enough to lubricate. Each time my hand reached his head of his dick, Matt shivered. I love the way I am making Matt feel right now. I started to pick up speed as I jerk him off. As Matt got closer and closer to cum. He started to squeeze my legs. Right as he reached his climax. Matt whispered in my ear for the first time since we started this, "I love you so much Alex. You are making my dreams come true. I am..." That is all it took. Matt started shooting all over the door of his closet. I couldn't believe how much he is shooting. Shot after shot of white cum all over his closet door. As Matt tried to catch his breath, I held him tight so he didn't fall. At the same time I reached out to the closet door and got as much of Matt's cum in my hand as I could. I wanted to taste Matt once again. I couldn't get out of my mind how much I enjoyed the way he tasted the first time. With Matt still not looking, I struggled holding him up and eating his cum. But I wanted it so bad, I did it. Just as I remembered before! He tastes so damn sweet, with a little bit of salt mixed in. Once I lick all the cum off my hand into my mouth. I wiped off some more off the closet door. With another hand full of Matt's cum, this time Matt watching, I drank it up. "Matt you taste so damn good man. I love the way you taste, smell and look. Man I just like everything about you. You are making me one happy man. You are everything anyone can ask for." Matt turned around. He leaned in and started kissing me. As we kissed, the same thought went through my mind. I never want the kiss to end. I got brought out of my thoughts as we started to fight over whose tongue is going into whose mouth. We both want to be in each other really bad. I eventually won out. It didn't bother Matt at all. We broke the kiss as Matt stepped away. He put his now softened dick into his pants and zipped up. I walked over to my closet to grab my shower bag. Once we both had our shower stuff together. We walked down the hall to the bathroom. Matt got undressed without hesitation and headed into the shower. Through the mirror I glanced at Matt's back end. I popped another boner right then and there. He has a nice white bubble butt that fits him so well. His bubble but blends right into his thick thighs and his thick thighs blend right into his awesome legs and feet. There's no hair at all on his butt just like me. Little hair on his thighs and legs, I just love it. I got undressed once my hard on went down. I joined Matt in the shower with a couple of the other guys. I stole several glances at Matt as we showered. I confirmed I am right about his dick once again looking at it without clothes in the way. Even soft, he is at least four and half if not five inches. His chest isn't as big as mine, but he is cut everywhere from his arms, to his chest all the way to his stomach, the man is cut. And the only other difference is skin color. He is white as hell where I am Mexican, so I am brown. I had to stop stealing glances of Matt because each time I looked at him, I got hard. It took me a little longer in the shower because I shave under the shower head. The steam of the shower opens my pores, which allows me to get a nice clean shave and no worries of pimples due to the cream and shit. Once I walked out of the bathroom, I found Matt in the room already. I finished getting dressed in some sweats, white t-shirt and socks. I pulled Matt out of bed to go and watch television. We only have a couple of hours before lights out. When we walked into the dayroom, we found the place almost empty. Carlos and a couple of other guys are the only ones in the room. Matt and I joined them in front of the TV We talked more than we actually watched what was on. It didn't bother the others that wanted to hear what they are watching. I think they didn't say anything because they are more afraid of me than anything else. The guards started to go through letting everyone it is thirty minutes till lights out. Matt and I decided to head to our room at that point. But Carlos stopped us and invited us to his room for a Coke and Honey Bun. One thing you need to know about Carlos. The guy has a really bad sweet tooth. I am surprised the dude has his teeth still. To top it all off he loves his soda. If the guy could drink soda with every meal, he would. Matt looked at me, and then back to Carlos. He took him up on his offer. At that point I think Matt is trying to become friends with Carlos. He knows Carlos and I grew up together so he thinks I would choose Carlos over him. At least I think that is what he thinks. I like Carlos and he is a good friend but Matt is becoming more and more special to my heart. I really do hope these two can learn to get along. We sat there talking about the shit Carlos and I got into when we were kids. Matt enjoyed the banter back and forth Carlos and I were having. One thing about us, neither of us likes to admit we are wrong. If it wasn't for my father and family, I would probably be in the same position Carlos is in right now as far as the gang life is concerned. At the same time like every other night. The announcement went over the PA that there is only ten minutes before lights out. That is when Matt and I made our exit. We needed to be in our room as the guard comes around for head count. I couldn't drift off to sleep. I tried and tried to sleep, but I couldn't stop looking at Matt. I couldn't stop thinking how lucky I am that I have him in my life now. I had the balls to tell him how much I like him. Then to top it all off, he tells me that he likes me as well. Just as I started to drift off to sleep I felt someone rubbing up my leg. I sat up in order to focus. Once my eyes adjusted to the dark, I found Matt sitting on the floor beside my bed. I couldn't help but smile at him down there. "Matt what are you doing up so late man? I know you don't need any beauty sleep, but I do. The face doesn't look as good in the morning when it doesn't get the sleep it needs." Matt started to laugh as he got up. I thought he decided to go back bed, but I was wrong. He leaned in to kiss me. At that point I wrapped my hand around him in order to pull him down onto my bed. Matt came tumbling down on me at full force! He flipped to his side and started laughing. I couldn't believe I actually started laughing with him. No matter what this guy does, he makes me feel so damn good. "I came over to return the favor to my guy. You gave me something I dreamed for days you would do to me. Now I want to return the favor." I couldn't say anything! Matt had his hand in my sweats before I could say a word. My dick went hard the moment he touched it. I looked down at his hand in my sweats. No other man has ever touched my dick before. I always thought, even knowing I am gay, I would kick any guy that would make that move on me. But with Matt I just sat there enjoying the warmth of his hand on my dick. All I could do next is lean in and kiss Matt. This time Matt won the tongue war. I didn't care, I love it either way just as long as I am kissing him! It didn't take long for Matt to get me to my climax. I moaned into Matt's mouth as we kissed. I moaned because he is making me feel things I have never felt before in my life. I am moaning because I am about to cum. "Matt you are getting so close. I am about to cum, man, I am cum..." Just like Matt earlier in the evening, I shot. Somehow, Matt got my sweats down to my thighs before I started to shoot. I am thankful for that. I can't believe the feeling I am feeling right now. Let me tell you, I jerk off like any teen does but when you are in love, like I am with Matt the feeling you get with just a jerk off session is a lot less intense. I don't know if it's because it is another touching your dick or the love. All I can say is how incredible it feels. Matt brings out of me emotions I never knew I had. As I shot my cum all over my chest, head and back wall, Matt just kept jerking me off. Even after I stopped shooting, Matt kept playing with my sensitive head. Somehow within minutes I shot once again! The second time felt even more intense than the first time. Even though it wasn't as much cum as the first time, I did shoot again. I know Matt was surprised as much as I was when I exploded again. He knows how to treat another man's dick! I need to take lessons from this guy for the next time when I return the favor. This time Matt let go of my dick. I felt him actually licking up my stomach and chest. He is actually eating my cum, as I ate his. I have never eaten my own cum, and I don't think I ever will. But Matt is actually cleaning me up with his tongue. I couldn't catch my breath leaning on my arms. I needed to lean my head back on my pillow. Just as I lay back, Matt licked up to my lips. He actually started kissing me with some of my cum in his mouth. There goes my earlier resolve of never tasting my own cum. It didn't taste much different than Matt's cum. Once Matt stopped kissing me, I caught my breath finally. I looked at him as he looked up at me from my chest. I couldn't help but play with his hair. I have never felt his hair before and I have wanted to. As Matt laid there on my chest, I wrapped my arms around him. All I wanted to do with him now his cuddle. I want to feel his skin against mine; to feel his hot breath on my chest, his heart beating against my side. I just want to be one with him right now. We actually had fallen to sleep together. I actually woke up with Matt still in my bed. I panicked and looked at the clock. That is when I breathed in a sigh of relief. We had only been asleep for an hour. That means the guards haven't come around doing head count. I looked over at Matt. My heart went out to him as he laid there sleeping. He looked so peaceful. Like nothing in the world right now is bothering him. I didn't have the heart to wake him up so I didn't. Instead, I picked Matt up as gently as I could making sure I didn't disturb him in any way as I carried him to his bed. I laid him down as gently as I could onto his bed. I placed his arms over him and then pulled the covers on top of him. Right before I headed to my bed, I kissed Matt one last time on the lips good night. (DIEGO'S POINT OF VIEW) I couldn't believe I am in County again. The food sucks, the showers suck, even the bed sucks in here. To top it all off, they put me in lock down. Not for my protection, but for the others. What do they have to fear from me? I didn't take long for them to process me into County. Normally I am down in the holding tanks all day long. Not this time, it only took them a couple of hours to process me and send me to my cell here on the seventh floor, lockdown. Finally on Thursday met with my lawyer. I'm already going up to prison for twenty five years after my stay at the detention facility. The guards pulled me out of my cell, frisked me, and then handcuffed me. I have never been handcuffed while I am moved around the County halls. I met with my attorney in the usual spot, middle cages of the hallway. The only difference this time is I am handcuffed to the table. Man the guards are not taking any chances with me at all. My lawyer seemed to be in a good mood. The first words out of his mouth are: "No one is screaming for blood." The way they see it is gang members killing each other off. The District Attorney's office is willing to make a deal. I couldn't believe they are so quick to make a deal. But when my attorney told me why, I shouldn't have been surprised. They need every open bed for the upcoming holiday season. Once we get into the holiday season, the courts get on the holiday schedule and don't see anywhere near as many cases as they see during the rest of the year. It's that simple, beds for the drunks caught drinking and driving mainly or family violence. Those pick up at this time of the year. "So what is the deal the District Attorney's office is offering me?" "It is very simple Diego, twenty five years. These twenty five years are to run concurrent with your twenty five years you are already going to do." "That means no extra time for the murder that is being pinned on me right now. If I agree with it, when do I return to the Detention facility if that is where I do get sent." "I can get you into court Monday and have it all done then. You will be taken back to the Detention facility that evening if not Tuesday morning at the latest." I agreed to take the plea in order to get out of here. Just like my attorney said, I am already doing twenty five years. At least I am not going to do any more time for this murder. Isn't that funny? I got a free murder! I walked back to my cell thinking by next Tuesday I will be going back to the Detention facility. I need to put together a better plan gaining control of the gang from Alex and Samuel. There is no way I will be able to live there without the worry of looking over my shoulder all the time. The only way that ends is by me taking control of the gang. (MATHEW'S POINT OF VIEW) When I woke the next morning, I was surprised to find myself in my bed. Was it just a dream of me getting up and joining Alex in his bed? Was it a dream that I jerked him off for the first time? It feels so real, not like a dream. It couldn't have been just a dream. I got up and headed to the bathroom to get ready for class. As soon as I got back to the room I couldn't believe what I saw. Alex actually already awake and getting ready for classes! I smiled at him as I walked in. I didn't want him to know I dreamed about him again last night. He already knows about the dream I had about him before. Alex shut the door of our room and walked up behind me. Just like the mornings before, Alex wrapped his hands around me. He kissed me a couple of times before saying a word. "You are not even going to say good morning to me babe? You can't be this way after last night. I love how you made me feel last night. You need to teach me some of what you did to me." "It wasn't a dream Alex?" "No it wasn't a dream, unless we both had the same dream." "But didn't we fall asleep in each other arms? At least that is how I remembered it Alex. Please tell me I am not wrong about that." Alex held me even tighter as we talked. I moved my head where our lips could meet. I love how Alex kisses. He must have kissed many girls in order to get this good. "Babe you did fall asleep on my chest with my arms around you. I also went to sleep with you in my arms. I don't know what it was that was so soothing with you sleeping by my side but I have never felt that way before with anyone. I woke up about an hour later. I freaked a little but after getting my bearings I was ok. I looked at you and didn't want to wake you up. You looked so beautiful there asleep. I couldn't bring myself to wake you up so I picked you up and carried you to your bed. I did give you another goodnight kiss before I went back to my bed." Alex pinched me in my butt. He laughed as he sat down putting on his shoes. I couldn't help but laugh as well. "Thank you Alex for not waking me. I felt the same way being in your arms last night. I know you probably want more than a jerk off session. I will get there I promise Alex. Just give me time please." "Babe I won't rush you into anything you are not ready for. I am not ready yet either. I have never done this before. You know making love with a guy. Little by little, together we will get there. Until then I am happy just having you in my arms and kissing you." Alex walked up and kissed me on the lips. As he broke away from the kiss, he squeezed my dick a couple of times. "By the way I love what you are carrying. I don't know how I am going to ever get that thing in my mouth, but I will. Just promise that you save yourself for me as I will do the same for you." "I promise Alex! You are the only one I want to be with." Both of us walked out of the door to get breakfast. I wish we could hold hands as we make our way to the cafeteria. I know that will never happen in here or out there in the free. Still you can't blame me for wishing. For being a Friday, it seemed to drag on. I don't know what in the world the teacher is saying. Simply put, my mind is on something else. You all know who it is on, Alex. No matter how much I try to get my mind out of the gutter, I can't. My mind just keeps going back to Alex each time. Don't get me wrong, Alex isn't the gutter. Just what I want to do to him is. Come on give me a break guys. I am still a teenage boy in love. It doesn't matter if I am in love with a guy or girl. Love is love no matter who it is. Being here just makes it worse. I see my lover every moment of the day. Again don't get me wrong, I love that. (ALEJANDRO'S FATHER POINT OF VIEW) As I waited in the chow line, I spotted Lenard walking up to me. I knew whatever he had to report isn't good news. He is in charge of informing me about the lower facilities issues like the one my son is in charge of in El Paso. "What's up Lenard, something wrong that you need to speak with me at this moment?" "I hate to say yeah, but that is the answer!" "Let's grab our food and head to the table where we can speak more in private." Lenard and I got through the chow line and made our way to our normal table. Everyone in here knows better than to sit at our table. Just like in any prison in the good old United States, there is an area for us Mexicans, an area for whites, African Americans, and the others. No one ever sits or goes near the other's area, unless they want war. I sat down with Lenard sitting across from me. I looked up putting some of the slop; they call food in here, in my mouth. Giving a nod for Lenard to start speaking! "Look sir we have a huge problem down in El Paso. I am wondering if the right decision was made by putting your son in charge of that facility. I mean, if we lose control down there, we lose a lot." "Look the decision was mine and I am sticking to it. I have been told the merchandise has started following back in. In fact we are getting double shipments from down there. That is telling me my son is doing something right." Lenard began explaining everything to me. From the lock down they are in right now to Diego facing a murder charge. He murdered one of our own, and that didn't make me happy and to everything in between all that! "Samuel tried to take control of the gang, and was caught. We have a major problem with your son right now, Alex. If others think they can take over control from him that means they don't respect him. If they don't respect him, he can't run things in there." "Look my son took care of each of them the way I would have. When he found out Samuel was trying to take over, he removed him. Also it was same thing with Diego. He did the deed and beat the shit out of Diego." "But you know the process and rules we run. If a gang member tries to take control, they don't walk away. Your son is allowing them to walk away laughing at us. We can't afford that crap getting around. Mainly it shows our future leaders are weak and can't do the deed if needed." "Alex is a smart kid. He runs things like business, unlike what we do in here. You know as well as I do if there is an increase in violence or killings, our control of the facility gets taken away. I am sure with the killing of one of our own, Alex can't kill again. If he does he loses everything." Lenard went on and all about the weakness of my son. From the beginning he didn't like the idea I changed command over to him. He wanted his own son in charge instead of Alex. Problem with that, he had no choice but to accept my decision. "Damn it Lenard I am getting tried of your crying. My decision has been made and won't be changed. My son will stay in charge of that facility unless I say otherwise. I am getting tired of you questioning my decisions. If you bring it up one more time, you will pay the penalty of that decision." Lenard agreed not to bring it up again. But I know this isn't going to be the end of it. I need to get the order out to the County jail in El Paso that Diego can't live another day. I know if my son could send that order, he would. Only I am the only one that can order other leaders to execute orders of that nature. As far as Alex I need to make it clear him that he needs to get control of everything in there. I can't have my rep questioned because he looks weak. If he can't lead I will remove him. That means he will more than likely be killed by the others. (ALEJANDRO'S POINT OF VIEW) Just as classes ended I headed to check my mail box. I really don't get any mail from anyone except my mom and dad. Even if I get a letter from them, it is rare. My dad has his things going on down in his area, and my mom is trying to stay afloat, paying the regular bills at the house and my dad demands a certain amount of money on his books every week. With me locked up now, I can't help my mom out. She is struggling really bad and I know that. She won't tell me, but she is. That is why I don't ask her to put money on my books. I can get anything I need from others in here. As usual there isn't any mail for me. Matt on the other hand needed to go to the mailroom and pick up something. He asked if I would go with him. Of course I said yes. I am getting to the point that I want to be around him all the time. We walked down to the mailroom chatting about what had happened in class today. We never talk in the open about what we do in the room. You never know who is hiding around the corner. That kind of information in the wrong hands, or anybody's hands, can spell the end for both of us. I couldn't believe what the mailroom is holding for Matt. It is a huge box of stuff his family sent him. It was already opened and cleared by the guards of course. I helped him take the box back to our room. He let me go through it with him. I felt as if it was sent to me as well. The box is full of new t-shirts, socks, school supplies, candy, and lots more. Matt kept trying to give me half of what he got, but I kept giving it back to him. "Babe, we are in the same room. I promise if I need anything I will ask you. All this is your stuff that your family sent you. You need to hold onto it for dear life. Who knows when they can send you more?" "I know Alex, but I want to share with you. Please if you need anything I have, just take it. I know you will do the same for me. I have plenty of chocolate and soda for us to snack on at night now." I laughed rubbing Matt's head. He looks like a little boy on Christmas morning. I wish I knew him when he was little. He had to be such a cute little kid. "Why don't we get this stuff put away before dinner? We don't want anyone walking by the room, see this stuff, and take it." I got up and grabbed several of the items. "Here let me help you, where do you want these?" Within minutes we had the stuff nicely put away. Before heading out to the dayroom, I stole a kiss from Matt. He giggled as I slapped his butt on the way out the door. Matt and I walked to the dayroom to wait for the call for dinner. Carlos joined us shortly after we walked in the dayroom. Soon after that the other guys found us. Right when they walked in, the announcement went over the PA dinner. We got walked on down to the cafeteria talking. I know this sounds boring to you guys, but I like talking about nothing. It gives me a break from the gang life. Whenever I am around the gang, all we talk about is the gang. I never knew anything else except that. Now with these guys, I see there is a lot more to talk about, stuff I would have thought before was stupid. After dinner we all walked back to the dayroom not to watch TV, but to play a game of pool. I am not really that good at it, but neither are the others. We really don't play by the rules like calling your pocket, not touching the other player's ball when you are going for yours, and on and on. I liked it this way. I didn't hear my name being called over the PA. A guard had to come and get me. At first when he pulled me out of the dayroom, I thought I was going to see Mr. Henderson. I was wrong; the guard put me in the visitor's room. I sat there thinking who is coming to see me on a Friday evening. I really hope it is my mother. I want to know how she is doing eventhough she won't tell me the truth, I want to see her at least. When the door opened I couldn't believe who walked in. I stood up from the table and walked over to shake hands. "I am surprised to see you here!" "I am surprised myself being here!" I shook Jacob's hand for the first time. I gave this poor guy hell, and now he is here visiting me. He turned to the guard and told him that he could leave. It made me feel even better that Jacob trusted being alone with me. "I got the letter you wrote me. I debated between writing you back or coming down. I decided to see you face to face," Jacob explained. "Thank you for coming Jacob. I know you didn't have to. You didn't even have to go to court and help me out the way you did. I just want to say here as I wrote in my letter, thank you for that, Jacob." "That is no problem Alejandro. I need to meet you as much as you need to meet me. I kept a lot of my anger buried but it seems I can't keep that anger down anymore. I am not mad at you Alejandro, I just don't understand why?" Jacob said asking for a well deserved answer. I sat there in silence for a moment. Then I looked at Jacob and saw the hurt in his face. Every time I saw him out there in the free, he seemed to be a very strong person. What I see in his eyes right now is hurt. "No matter what I tell you will it won't take back what I did. All I can say is how sorry I am for what I did to you. I never meant for you to get hurt that day at the school. That is the truth. All the other times I did and I won't make any excuses for that. I was wrong and I can't ever take it back." "I know you can't take it back. Like I have told you, I have forgiven you for that and again if it wasn't for the shooting, I would probably be dead today. I am not the type that goes to the doctor for every little ache and pain." I laughed thinking he is just like me. I don't complain about every ache and pain I have. Maybe I should just in case it is worse than what I think it is. Anyways I am getting off the subject. We sat there getting to know each other. I couldn't believe when Jacob told me about him and his boyfriend Joey. They seem to have something I could only hope that Matt and I can have one day; that kind of love only comes around in one's life once. "Can I ask you Jake, when you knew Joey was the one? You know your true love?" "The day I saw Joey through the kitchen window of my mother's apartment. I can't explain it. All I can say is the old saying I never believed in: Love at first sight. That is what it was, love at first sight." "Jake one of the reasons I think I was a ass with you is because of what I am hiding. I saw you and you got what you wanted. You got your true love and didn't care who knew about it. Jake I am going to tell you something I have never told anyone else." I looked around the room to make sure the door is shut. I even got up and walked over to the door. Just making sure the guard wasn't listening into our conversation. As I walked back to the table, I remembered what Mr. Henderson did to that dorm. So I walked around and sat right next to Jake. He looked a little worried when I did that. Ina very low whisper I started to talk again. "Don't be afraid Jake. I am not going to hurt you. Just something I learned in here that I need to be on the lookout for. Jake please don't repeat what I am about to tell you! I am gay and in love with someone in here. He is my roommate and he loves me as well. But I am so confused with all the feelings going through me right now." Jake looked at me for a few minutes before speaking again. When he started talking, he talked in code for my protection. "Look Alex love is love no matter who it is. If you really love her and she loves you back, then go for it. But don't just do it for the sex. We are guys and horny all the time. Still we want a real relationship with another. If she's told you that she likes you too, well just let me say it is a big leap. Think about it, Alex. How hard is it for you to show the emotions you have for her? She is having just as hard of a time doing it as you are. Take your time, get to know her. Once you do, there are things you two are not going to like about each other. On the other hand, there are things you two are going to love about each other. They should wash each other out. Most important Alex, don't ever try to change her. You fell in love with her because the way she is. Don't go and try and make changes." "I agree with everything you are saying Jake. I just have all these weird feelings I have never had before." "I know, and they will never go away. If they do, that is when you need to walk away. If that happens, you fell out of love with her. Never wish these weird feelings away. Just what you are feeling, she is feeling the same way." We sat there talking about how he and Joey worked through their troubles. Again he said it isn't much different between what he has and what I wanted with this girl. I know what he is doing. Saving me from any rumors that might get around just in case someone is listening to what we are talking about. "Alex it is about time for me to go. Is there anything I can do for you? I would like to visit you once in a while if I may? I want to make sure you are ok and you are staying on the straight and narrow." "I would love you stopping by as often as you could. I am just worried about my mother. With me in here now, she has to be having a hard time right now." "Alex if you want I will check up on her. I will make sure everything is alright. If I see anything that's not right, I will let you know." "Would you do that for me Jake? You don't know how much that means to me. I really love my mom, and I have really put her through hell." "That is not problem Alex. I will check up on her as much as I can. But how about you? Do you have everything you need in here? Do you have money in order to get what you need? I don't know how things are done in here." "I am getting by Jake, thank you. Just you checking on my mom and visiting me is enough. In fact it is way too much. I promise I will pay you back somehow, some day." "I don't want anything back. All I want Alex, is for you to get straight in here. Get whatever education they have to offer you. Then, I want to hear that you are getting out of here on your twenty first birthday." Jake and I started to shake hands when the guard walked in. I thanked Jake one last time as the guard pulled me out of the room. I felt different, I can't explain it. This feeling I have now after meeting with Jake is feelings I have never felt before. One thing is for sure, Jake is in my corner and I can't let him down, just like my mom. He went out on a limb getting me here and now visiting with me. There are three people I need to straighten up for. I got pulled out of thought by Officer Jackson. He pulled me into an empty office. At first I thought he heard what Jake and I were talking about, but it wasn't. He pulled me in the office for a phone call from my father. I walked over to the desk and picked up the receiver. "Hello dad, how are you?" "Forget how I am, what the hell is going on down there? I am tired of getting reports about the crap the others are pulling on you. Trust me son, I won't lose rep because you are weak. If that means removing you, I will. You know what that means if I do that?" "Dad I don't know what you are talking about. I have fixed everything that is going on here. Now the merchandise is moving again. In fact you are getting double the amount than what you were getting before." "Fuck the merchandise right now Alex. You're not willing to get control of things, allowing others to think they can just run over you and take over the gang. Trust me Alex I will give the order to kill even my own son if I have to. Are you going to get things straight or do I have to do what I don't want to do?" "Dad I am doing everything you are asking of me to do." "No you are not. Others are getting away with shit they shouldn't. Damn it Alex, you are not listening to me. You are making excuses. You are leaving me no other choice..." TO BE CONTINUED... {Well, loyal readers, what do you think Alex's dad is going to do? What kind of father is that who is willing to give the order to kill his own son? Damn that is crappy life to live. A crappy family to be part of. We all need to be thankful for what we have and the family we have. Some have really crappy families. The meeting we have been waiting for between Jacob and Alex has happened. If you haven't been reading Jacob Finding His Way, you need to get caught up. In chapter thirty eight this meeting is explained in more detail. By chapter thirty five the time lines of these two stories are together. By the time that chapter is posted, this story will be far along. Still I like that Alex asked Jake what to do in his love life. Alex is just starting out, where Jake has some serious mileage on his journey. Jake figured out why Alex was whispering to him. So he started talking on code to protect Alex's rep. Do you think they should become friends or just people who say hi and bye in passing? Talking about relationships. Matt and Alex's relationship seems to be going along pretty good. They are taking every chance they can to be together. It has to be hard living in there and trying to be with the one you love and more so because they are gay in a guy's, guy, world ruled by rampant homophobia. Diego, Diego, Diego, what the hell is he thinking? He lost out the first time, and he is going to try again. Do you think Alex's farther is going to get the order to the County jail in El Paso in time? Remember it is Friday and Diego will more then likely be out there by Monday, Tuesday at the latest. There are so many more plots I can talk with you all about. I just hope nothing happens to Alex now that he is trying so hard to get on the straight and narrow. I think someone in the Detention facility is going to be there for Alex. Well I know, but you need to come back and find out who and how they are gong to help. I don't want to say too much and spoil the future chapters, so I won't. I warn you though! Don't skip a chapter, or you will be lost. There is a so much to answer in the chapters to come. Keep reading the future chapters, and enjoy! Please email me and let me know how I am doing at jacobmillertex@aol.com, Thanks!} EDITOR'S CORNER: Well, tell me that you saw it all coming. Ha! I sure didn't. I can't imagine losing my freedom, being incarcerated. I think if I have a morbid fear, that's it. I am so glad Alex is waking up to the benefits of being a part of mainstream society rather than apart from it. Now, with being gay, there is a bit of separation, but it's not nearly as debilitating as being in social exile being in a gang. This guy is for real, taking strength and determination from the energy of his Mom's love. That's the seed of his potential redemption. Matt and Jacob, I predict will nourish his progress. Jacob hinted that there's going to be another major player on this front. I'm curious as to who that will be. I wouldn't be true to form if I didn't remind you how important your e-mails are to Jacob and me. Let us hear from you! Until next time, "Daddy" Rick