"Billy Chase #168"


- 'Stevie'....

That's the son of a bitch's name! 'Stevie'! The one who seems to be so cuddly and cute with Brandon all of a sudden. So now I know what to shout out when I need him to turn around so I can deliver a direct shot to his face with my fucking FIST!!!

Pretty little emo boy, moving in on somebody who's not even three weeks out of a relationship. Fuck him! God...I can't believe how much I HATE seeing that kid smile! Some people just try to be all cute and sweet no matter WHAT they do! It's gotta be an act, I swear. I think he just does it to make Brandon blush. But you know what? Today, when I crossed Brandon in the hall, I didn't give him the satisfaction of rolling his eyes first. This time I gave HIM the cold shoulder and walked away. And you wanna know something???

Sighhhh...it still made me feel like total shit.

I wish I could sit here and say that I finally found the strength to spit the hatred he's been giving me back in his face, and walked away without feeling like a giant rusty railroad spike hadn't been driven through the center of my heart. But the truth is, it hurt me more to pretend to be mad at him than it did to take his abuse. Great. Now I put even MORE distance between us. And when the time comes to decide whether or not he's gonna start making out with Stevie while fondling his goodies...he's gonna think about me being nasty to him today and probably blow him right there and then, just out of spite!

It really SUCKS to think of him with somebody else. It always did. Even before we started dating. But now it's worse.

Speaking of dating, the weirdest thing happened today. I saw Simon coming out of the main office...with a detention slip! What the hell????

Now, let me explain something to you...Simon is what you would call a 'good boy'. He's a total wet dream for any teacher in the business, and has been for as long as I've known him. He's been on the honor roll so many times that people would only notice if his name WASN'T on the list. So seeing him walk out of the office with a detention slip is like catching 'Ghandi' with a fucking cheeseburger in his mouth during a hunger strike!

He actually looked....like....ashamed to even be holding the little yellow piece of paper in his hand. And he tried to hide it when I walked over to see what was up. He held his head down when he realized he had been caught, and his cheeks turned deep red. He's like, "I can't believe I did that. I shouldn't have screwed up like that."

So I'm like, "What the hell did you DO?" After all, I can't imagine Simon being that much of a 'rebel', you know? But what he told me totally blew my mind!

He was all quiet when he said it, but he told me, "I got caught fingering Melanie under the bleachers in the big gym...."

My natural reaction was, " YOU **WHAT**?!?!?!?!" And his head drooped even lower. I'm like, "When you...umm...when you say 'fingering'...you mean...?" And he nodded his head. "Omigod!" I really did NOT think that him and this new girlfriend were that...'far along' yet. I mean, I know it's been a week since we really talked about it, but...Simon....Simon doesn't finger girls under the bleachers!!! What the fuck kind of upside down reality IS this???

Simon was literally trembling at this point, "It was in between classes! Nobody was supposed to be in there! And we were kissing, and things were getting heavy...and she kinda...'wanted' me to. So...I did it. I don't even know if I did it right." I think he could see the shock on my face, and he whimpered, "I didn't know what to DO, Billy! We were soooo into it, and the principal walked in and caught us! The PRINCIPAL, Billy! I don't know if he caught my finger in there, but...I've got three days detention now for misconduct! What the hell am I gonna do?"

I think I smiled when I said it, but I told him, "You really fingered a girl?"

But he was all like, "BILLY, come on! This is serious! What if this shows up on my permanent academic record? What if something like this keeps me from getting into a good college?"

It made me giggle, and I said, "I'd hate to go to ANY college that would keep you out for fingering a hot girl in high school."

But Simon was still super embarrassed about it, and said, "STOP saying that...'word'! Ugh! God...what am I gonna do?"

I said, "Just go to detention, and forget about it. It won't be so bad." But after a couple of seconds, he looked back at the piece of paper and tried to figure out what room it was in. Geez, how squeaky clean could he possibly be?

He's like, "Umm...what do you DO in detention?"

Which made me give him a confused look. I'm like, "Well...you don't really DO anything. You just kinda go and sit there until they tell you to go home."

He asked, "That's it? I mean...am I gonna get 'beat up' in there or something?"

And I'm all, "Beat up??? It's not a PRISON yard, Simon. You sign in, sit down at a desk, and just do some homework or something. That's all"

I don't think it eased his mind any. In fact, he looked more distressed than ever. I can't imagine being that stressed over three days of detention. MY school record must make me look like Charles MANSON'S in comparison to his. He started going on about, "Omigod, Billy...I was being so stupid. This is going to degrade and humiliate me for the rest of my life, I just know it."

I'm like, "Jesus, Simon, it's detention, not Guantanamo Bay! Chill out! You should be more worried about who I'm gonna tell about your little finger puppet action." A look of utter HORROR crossed Simon's poor little face, and I had to put a hand on his shoulder to bring some color back to his face. "Simon, I'm just KIDDING! My God, will you calm down? You'll be FINE. By this time next week, you will have forgotten all about it. Just take a book or something, and enjoy the silence. It's like being in the library...but, you know...with killers and rapists and stuff." I giggled, hoping to make him smile, but he couldn't even work up a fake one for my benefit.

But then, he suddenly asked me, "Billy, can I say that I'm at your house for the next few days?" Which I thought was weird, but he's like, "My mom and dad CAN'T know that I got detention! They just...they CAN'T! Ok? Tell them...um, wait....um...tell them that...you needed some extra help on a science project, and I offered to help...and...and we're working on it for three days in a row, because we have to give a presentation together at the same time. But...but it probably won't be graded or anything, because it's just, like, a PRACTICE project. So they shouldn't look for it to count on my report card or anything. And then..."

But I truly had to stop him before his scheme got any more elaborate. I swear...there have been presidential assassination attempts with less planning involved. I said, "Simon...look...if your parents ask, you were at my house playing video games. Cool?"

He's like, "That's it?"

And I said, "That's it, yeah. Most parents don't ask for more details than that. So you're 'safe', Agent Long-Finger."

He seemed to breathe a little bit easier. "Video games? Yeah. Yeah, that might work, right? I play video games sometimes." Okaaaaay, this is one of those moments when he was truly being a geek. Hehehe, but on Simon, it was adorable. So I agreed to be his alibi for the term of his detention, Monday too, and directed him as to how to get to the detention hall. Lord knows I've seen more of the inside of that place than I would ever want to. And then Simon gave me an actual HUG to say thanks. I swear...that boy needs to get in trouble more often, if for no other reason than to break his extreme 'phobia' of it. Geez!


I saw Jimmy shortly after the last bell as he hurried to his locker. He looked really rushed and excited, so I asked him what was up, and Jimmy said, "Alex is gonna meet me over by the lake today, and we're gonna have some chili dogs together. He's buying." Jimmy looked like he melted right in front of me. And he said, "He's so perfect, Billy. He really is. I can't believe he's so into me. I think I'm really in love this time. I think..I think I'm gonna ask him to make things more 'permanent' between us."

My eyes widened, and I'm like, "What do you mean, more permanent?"

And he just giggles and shrugs his shoulders, like, "I dunno..but...I think Alex is the one, Billy. I really do."

Which left me totally speechless, because I might be too late to even STOP this from getting out of hand! Awwww...Jimmy can be so SENSITIVE with his feelings! His heart won't be able to take a betrayal of that level! And I couldn't even call AJ today to talk to him because he was with Jimmy all afternoon! I just...arrrgh!

If I do ONE thing right with my life, this should be it. I don't know...I mean...I just have to find a way to talk to AJ alone before Jimmy ends up making another big mistake I'm still working on figuring this out. But I'll find a way. I just wish I had more time.

Shit...my dad's on the phone. I've gotta go. I don't get to talk to him all that often these days. And when I don't, it's like it hurts his feelings or whatever. So I'll write more soon. Later.

And to that 'Stevie' fucker....watch your BACK, dude!


Thanks so much for reading! Be sure to keep checking in on Billy's new journal entries every Tuesday and Thursday, as there is MUCH more to come! Feel free to let me know what you think at Comicality@webtv.net or stop by the website at http://comicality.gayauthors.org and say hello! There are a LOT of stories waiting for you there! Hehehe! Seezya! :)