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Be sure to keep on reading "Billy Chase"...
...And I'll send you a special blanket with a 'glory hole' cut into it for easy access while you're sleeping!!!*
*(Previous Statement May Not Be True)
- The only thing that's keeping me from being FURIOUS right now was the surprise message that I got when I came home from school today. Well, that...and the fact that my mom keeps asking me what's wrong. I think she thinks I messed up on my final exams today, but to be honest, today's was the easiest one. I guess I was the most prepared for it or something.
Anyway...so I come home, and I slam the back door shut. I'm getting ready to just go to my room and try to cool off for a while, when I see the message light blinking on the answering machine. Apparently...the music store at the mall called me back today, and they want me to come in for an interview this Saturday! Which was like...whoah! I've never been to an interview before. It was a weird feeling though. Almost like winning a contest or something. I just couldn't shake the thought that somebody went through all of those applications and actually picked mine out of the pile and decided to call. How awesome is that? What if I get the job? I'll actually have money. Like...my OWN money! Ohhhhhh man, there is SO much stuff that I want to buy! Just thinking about it, you'd think I had found a winning lottery ticket.
I wonder if Sam got a call too. I need to call him when I finish this. Imagine the two of us getting to work together all Summer long! That would kick ass!
So that helped to alter my mood a bit, but I'm still frustrated.
The day started out being pretty cool. It was raining outside all day, but it was no big deal, you know? When I was waiting in line for them to open up the downstairs study hall for my first exam, I saw Bobby and Ian running in through one of the side doors with the same umbrella and giggling like crazy at one another. I don't know how they managed to get so wet while sharing an umbrella, but they didn't seem to mind. Bobby smiled at him, and they held a rather passionate moment of eye contact that I could practically feel from down the hall. Seriously, I thought they were going to strip off in front of everybody and 69 right there on the high school floor. Then, Bobby's smile got even bigger, and he closed his eyes, shaking his head back and forth, his soaked hair sprinkling Ian while he leaned back and put his hands up to defend himself from the assault.
He's like, "Hehehe, Bobby! What the....what are you doing???" But before he could even really finish, Bobby lunged forward and kissed Ian on the cheek, causing him to blush. And you want to know the most surprising part? I was standing in line with a bunch of other students...and they seemed too focused on their conversations and cell phones and notebooks to really even care. I didn't hear a single comment. Not a whisper, not a snicker, not even a raised head. It was almost...'normal'. I can remember a time when two boys kissing in the open like that would have practically been a death wish! Or...you know...at least that's what I would have thought. But nobody really paid them any attention. Even when Ian took a hold of Bobby's hand and they started walking together. I'm surprised that they even knew where they were going, as their eyes were fixed on each other the whole time.
I kinda waved hello to them as they passed me, and they both said hello, but didn't stop to talk. The bell was about to ring anyway, so I guess they were in a bit of a rush. But Ian did give me a wink as he saw me, and Bobby gave him a playful little shove, saying, "SHUSH, you! Don't!"
Ian was like, "What? I didn't say anything!"
Bobby kissed him on the cheek again, and they just kept walking. That's when it hit me...they totally 'did it' yesterday after school, didn't they??? The DID! Omigod, that's hot! I can tell. Bobby was practically skipping and tossing handfuls of glitter over his shoulder as they rounded the corner. I take it that Ian did his job well, and satisfied that booty in a way that made Bobby smile like that. Wow...so they're like...they're like a full blown couple now, aren't they? I mean...no more secrets, no more games, no more paranoid worries. They did it. They made it work. And they're happy. So very happy.
As the study hall door opened and began to let us in for our test...I couldn't help but to feel a little tug at my emotional strings at the perfection of it all. After Bobby had been hurt so badly before (Totally my fault, I know.), he found a way to toss that pain and fear aside to find himself a really good guy. I have to admit...I'm proud of him. I mean that.
God bless those two lovebirds. This Summer is going to be so much fun for them.
Besides, I know how addictive Bobby Jinette's ass can be once you get a sample of it! That boy is going to be a Jinette-Junkie by the end of next week! Lord knows I would!
I did have a bit of a weird run in with Sam earlier. I wasn't really hungry, but I was gonna go down to the cafeteria anyway. I couldn't really wander the halls or anything while waiting for my next final, so I figured I'd go down and sit still somewhere for a bit. Sam tapped me on the shoulder and he was like, "Dude! ONE more day of finals, then a half day on Friday, and we are OUTTA here! I hope the rest of high school is this easy!"
I was like, "You're done for the day already?"
He said, "Yep! But I've got three finals tomorrow instead of two, so...that part sucks. But for right now, I am going to run screaming from this building and go and get myself some sunshine." Then, with a sly grin, he asks me, "So...you never did tell me...how was he?"
I asked, "How was he? How was who?"
He gave me a light slug in the arm and said, "You know what I'm talking about. Don't play games with me. I saw Jimmy LaPlane smiling while you guys were going to your house the other day. Hehehe!"
I grunted, like, "Come on, you KNOW that nothing happened. I told you, Jimmy and I are friends. That's it."
But Sam says, "Ummm...no. Jimmy is not looking forward to being your 'buddy', dude. Trust me, I know. You should hear how he talks about you."
With a grin, I said, "You should hear how he talks about you, actually. Hehehe!" Which definitely made Sam raise an eyebrow. I'm like, "Look, Jimmy used to have a crush, and he likes to tease me about it from time to time, but that's all it is."
Sam's like, "Riiiiiight. Sure."
I told him, "I mean, I saw you and Michelle going into your house too the other day."
Sam grinned and said, "Yeah. You did. And I'd be a fuckin' LIAR if I told you that nothing happened! So you might want to retract that particular comparison, bud."
I winced. I was like, "Ugh! Please don't tell me stuff like that. Sighhh...such a waste." And I meant it too! Sam is too tasty down there to be wasting that sexy rod of hot teen boy meat on some stupid ol' GIRL! Arrrgh!
Anyway, Sam was like, "I wouldn't dog you out if you and Jimmy decided to hook up, you know? I mean, I could see that."
I'm like, "We are NOT 'hooking up'. What's the matter with you?"
Sam said, "I'm just saying, hehehe...at least you'd be getting some this Summer. Who else are you gonna chase around once school is over?"
I joked around and said, "Well, that depends on how well Michelle is doing her job as your girlfriend, doesn't it?"
I have NO idea what Sam was about to say in response to that, but from the shocked look on his face...I don't think he knew either.
At that very moment, Jamie Cross walked up behind me and said hello. Now remember...this is Jamie Cross here! Jamie Cross is not the kind of guy who just casually walks up to normal people like me and says hello. That's too much beauty to take in at once without warning. I mean, Jesus! He could cause some young gay boy's HEART to stop doing that sort of thing!
All Jamie said was, "Hey, what's up? You getting out early today too, or do you have to stick around for another period?"
I started to answer him with, "I've still got one more today, but I've only got two tomorrow and then I'll be finished..."
But, out of the blue, Sam interrupted me and looked Jamie Cross right in the eye, like, "Say, do you think you can wait until we're finished talking?" Which shocked me. What the....you can't talk to him like that. It's...it's JAMIE CROSS, for God's sake!!!
Jamie was like, "Excuse me?"
And Sam said, "Yeah. Me and my best friend were having a bit of a conversation. Do you think you can give us a moment, or are you just more important than everybody else?" What the hell was going ON here??? I was too stunned to even apologize at that moment.
Jamie sorta rolled his eyes, like Sam was no big threat at all. He just looked at me and said, "Looks like I'll talk to you later, Billy. When you're not 'busy'." Jamie kinda looked Sam up and down, and walked off without saying another word. My God....I could have CRIED!!! Does Sam have any IDEA how hard and long I had to work to get a wet dream like Jamie Cross to even talk to me in a public place? Is he fucking CRAZY???
I pushed Sam's shoulder and said, "What the fuck was that about? What are you doing?"
Sam was just like, "Whatever. I fucking HATE that guy. He gets all dolled up and walks around this place like he's some kind of fairy prince or something. What makes him so special that he can just but into our conversation like that?"
I'm like, "He was saying HELLO! It's not like we were discussing a top secret mission for James Bond or anything. How could you treat him like that?"
But, as usual, Sam didn't see it that way. He just said, "Some people just get their way all the time. They just get everything they want. I think it's sickening, that's all." I couldn't BELIEVE the nerve of him even using that as an excuse. Seriously. But he didn't give me much of a chance to bitch him out about it. He was just like, "You know what, I wanna get out of here. I've got better thing to do than hang around this place any longer than I have to. You doing anything this weekend?"
He still seemed agitated, but I told him, "No. Not that I know of."
And he said, "Cool. We'll get together or something and have fun. K?" And that was it. He hurried off before I could really get to the bottom of his attitude problem when it came to Jamie. I mean, just because he's dating Joanna, that's no reason for Sam to jump down his throat like that every time he sees him in the hallway. That's just ridiculous.
Was I that bad when Stevie started dating Brandon?
Well....geez...you know what? I think I was. How embarrassing....
And this is why I'm so fucking PISSED right now!!! And have remained that way for most of the evening!
See...Stevie said he wanted to talk to me, and it's been about a week since then. He's being sneaking through the halls a lot lately, and I've kinda been running around with other things on my mind. So we didn't really get a chance to meet up for more than a few seconds at a time...if that.
Well, I got to talk to him today. And he had something rather 'interesting' to tell me. Very 'interesting' indeed...
It seems that in the last few days, Stevie and Brandon were talking about a few things, plans for the Summer and all...and Brandon told him that he didn't know before. He made it a point to come find me today and fill me in.
The first thing that I noticed was that Stevie was being a bit more skittish than usual. He was practically whispering under his breath, and constantly looking around the halls and stuff. I mean, it was the kind of behavior that you would expect from a FBI refugee or something. I was like, "Are you alright?"
He said, "I'm fine. It's cool." But I noticed that his expression changed when a few boys with high school letter jackets happened to walk by. The glare they gave him was unmistakable. Stevie was soooo confident that they would just leave him alone. That the worst part of it had passed, and that they were too worried about their grades and finals and stuff to give him any more grief than they already had. But from the look on his face as he shrank away from their harsh and menacing stares...that wasn't going to be the case. Technically...once the finals were over tomorrow, and Friday was over and done with...it could be open season on Stevie all Summer long! What's to stop them? You know?
I was like, "They're still threatening you, aren't they?" Then I asked, "That's why you've been so 'invisible' lately, isn't it? Stevie...I TOLD you to let us help you with this..."
But Stevie didn't let me finish. He took a hold of my arm, and quickly pulled me into one of the nearby stairwells. He was like, "Shhhh...don't worry about that right now. I just...I mean...listen..." He looked up the stairs to make sure that nobody was coming down to disturb us. Then he was like, "Billy...I know that it's been a while since we talked, but...I mean...did you get a new boyfriend or something?"
What the heck is he talking about? I was like, "A new boyfriend? No. Why?"
Stevie said, "Well, tell me if I'm reading this wrong, but I was kind of under the impression that you wanted to work things out with Brandon again. I mean...wasn't that the plan? Did I get this all mixed up, or what?"
I wrinkled up my brow. I was like, "Dude, I'm really confused here. What's going on?"
Stevie looked down with a sigh, and he was like, "I was afraid of this." I asked again what he meant by that, and he pulled me a little closer into the corner so he could lower his voice a bit more. He says, "Listen...I was talking to Brandon the other day, and he seemed to just be out of it, you know? And apparently...well...I mean...." He stumbled for a moment or two, and then he said, "...How well do you know Jimmy LaPlane?"
It was a really weird question. I mean, I wasn't sure why Stevie would even ask me that. I was like, "He's a friend of mine. I mean, I've known him for a long time, I guess."
Stevie paused for a moment, and he said, "Well...I think he's been telling Brandon....well, I mean...for the past few weeks, or maybe even longer..."
I asked, "Wait, what do you mean? Jimmy barely even knows Brandon. What's he got to do with anything?"
Stevie was like, "Well, from what Brandon told me...Jimmy's kinda been making it sound like you've...moved on. That you just weren't interested anymore. You know what I mean?" It didn't even register, what Stevie was telling me, at first. I was frozen for a moment. It just...it didn't make sense. Stevie was like, "I think your friend has been feeding Brandon ideas about your heart being elsewhere. And I think Brandon's been believing him. He's seen you two together so much, especially the last few weeks...and then at the party..."
I said, "No, there's gotta be some kind of mistake. Jimmy wouldn't do that. Jimmy's my friend. I mean, he's been the one telling me to go for it. He's the one who told me to talk to him at the party in the first place."
Stevie's like, "Really? Well, did he tell you that he talked to Brandon just a few hours beforehand? That's what he said. It seemed kind of sneaky to me, but Jimmy practically told him that you'd only take him back if he came crawling on his hands and knees. I think he was really hurt by that. Really hurt." The news began to sink in...and as I thought back to the party...that's almost what Brandon told me. Almost word for word. I remember Jimmy coming over to my house early that night, hours before the party. Where was he before that??? What has he been doing? Come to think of it...looking back on how he reacted towards my questions about Trace at my dad's barbecue...is it really all that farfetched. Ever since that weirdness over at AJ's that one afternoon, Jimmy's been more possessive and obsessed than ever. What if....what if he's been setting things up to keep me all to himself all along? Stevie said, "Billy, I didn't know anything about this until just recently. I swear. But I didn't know what was true and what wasn't. I thought I should talk to you first. I think Brandon was looking forward to trying to work things out. I think your 'friend', Jimmy, helped to rip open the wound. I just....I thought you should know. K?"
The confusion was beginning to fade....and ANGER moved in to take it's place!!! My jaw tightened as my teeth began to grind hard enough to cause sparks to fly in all directions. My stomach tightened. My fists tightened. My blood boiled. Please, God...tell me Jimmy wouldn't do this to me. TELL ME he's not that selfish! He's been sticking soooo close to me lately, making sure that I'm not spending time with anybody else. He's been screwing me over! And for God knows HOW long!
Stevie says, "Dude, I'm sorry. I wasn't sure if you knew about this or not. I didn't want to cause any trouble or anything." Stevie has lied to me before. He's lied right to my face. That little weasel has broken my heart and laughed about it on more than one occasion. But this time...I didn't have any reason to think that he'd make this up. Not this time.
I said, "No. No, I'm glad that you told me. Because once I cool off, I know somebody that needs a serious reality check. And he's gonna get one, right between the eyes..."
Stevie was like, "I've gotta go. I'm taking the long way to my next final to avoid the major halls. But...look, I'll talk to Brandon. Maybe I can help to reverse some of the damage. But it's been going on for a while from the looks of it. Because he went from being happy to talk to you every now and then to...well...you know...." Stevie patted me on the shoulder, and he told me, "It'll be ok. I'm sure of it. K?"
It didn't help. Like...at all.
I'm surprised that I was able to even take my last final for the day. I just kept getting madder and madder by the SECOND! All of Jimmy's flirting, and his touching, and his little speeches about how 'other people matter'...and the whole time he was just trying to have me all to himself. He actually sat there and told me "I'm done doing stuff just to 'feel good'. For the first time in forever...I feel like I can do better than that. And I think I'm going to try for that instead from now on." I just didn't know that I was going to be his 'victim' in all this.
How could he do it? HOW? He was supposed to be my FRIEND!!!!
I can't write about this anymore. I just feel my rage getting out of control right now!
I just can't believe Jimmy would betray me like this. What does Brandon think of me? And who else has Jimmy been talking to like this? Trace? Sam? Oh God...did he talk to Jamie Cross? This hurts. Sooooo much! And to think, I was actually allowing myself to fall for his bullshit 'nice guy' act!
I have to go. But I'm going to get to the bottom of this once I get my head on straight. Jimmy called me three times tonight. Obsessed as usual. But I didn't answer. No. Not yet. Because if I hear his voice, I'm seriously going to go over to his house and STAB him with the biggest knife I can find in the kitchen! No...I need to get through finals first. Then we'll deal with Mister Deception then. He's got ONE more day to live! Just ONE! I hope he enjoys it.
I'll write more later. Excuse me if the last page or two of this book has blood stains in it! I'll consider it a souvenir!