- Damn...I actually had a REALLY good time tonight! Who saw THAT coming??? Hehehe! Corey's party was awesome, and it seems like not even fate's best laid plans could bring me down today. It's a cool feeling, to feel things work out 'nicely' for a change.
I didn't tell my mom until the very last minute, which she doesn't usually like. I mean, I gave her a few hours notice, but most of the time she wants to work out where I'm going, when I'll be home, how I'm getting there, how I'm getting back, what kind of supervision will be in place, and the whole 'blah blah blah' of things before I go. So I was sure that some kind of begging and pleading was going to be necessary in order for me to get out of the house tonight. But, strangely enough, she didn't give me any resistance whatsoever. In fact, when I told her my plans...her exact words were, "Have fun, honey." I didn't get it, you know? She seemed kinda...like...sad. To be honest, I almost felt kinda guilty for going out when she was feeling so down. It was one of those odd moments when I was stuck between trying to give her some comfort and backing away from what was bugging her. I wish I knew why the idea of being sentimental with my mom is such a scary concept, but...it is. It's like...I take power and credibility away from her as the 'boss', you know? My parents aren't supposed to be 'human', they're supposed to be...well....parents! They're not supposed to have problems, or feelings, or ever go through a time when they don't know what to do. They're perfection. I rebel from time to time, but if something seems wrong or unfair, it's supposed to be because I'm too young to know what I'm talking about....not because they're being wrong or unfair. That would just upset the whole balance somehow. Anyway...I took the good fortune of avoiding the whole 'screening' process before going out, and left the room before she got a chance to say no.
What can I say? I'm selfish. Ugh...I suck.
Anyway, it crossed my mind that I could call AJ and possibly go over there to have an hour or two or really hot sex before going to the party tonight. I would really appreciate his approach of kissing me and taking off my clothes before even talking to me today. I wouldn't want to get into any discussions about Scott or where he's been or why he hadn't called me. I just want my 'sex' back. That's all I need for now. A few quickies and a couple minutes worth of deep deep kissing, and I'd be satisfied We can work out the rest later. How much time did I give him to call me back, anyway? I have to flip back a few pages to find out. It's not up yet though. I'm temporarily stopping the countdown so I can get some nookie. I can deal with the rest after I get laid. However...as the afternoon moved forward and I thought about how long it would take to ride out to his house and come back...I decided against it. So I jacked off in the shower instead and figured I'll call him tomorrow for the real thing. Mmmmm...I can taste him already.
Jimmy called pretty early to ask if I was getting ready, and I told him I was just about to jump in the shower. His reply was, "Damn! Really? Don't get in yet! I'm on my way over to WATCH!" Hahaha! Jimmy has gotten totally CRAZY since he's been 'out'. Anyway, we made plans to meet up at the end of the street, since it was on the way and they could just pull over and pick me up. And that was that. I didn't really have to dress up necessarily, but I wanted to look 'cute'. Just in case Brandon made an appearance. So I dried my hair, put on something cool, and went out to the end of the block. I'll admit, I was kinda nervous about how things would go tonight. I mean with Jimmy, and Stacy, and Brandon possibly coming, and maybe Sam and Joanna, possibly even Lee might show up..which would suck after what I said to him yesterday. So waiting for my ride was the longest wait in history. I hardly had a fingernail left by the time they arrived. (I've really gotta stop biting my nails)
They showed up and pulled over to scoop me up. Jimmy's friend, Rachael, was driving...which, believe me...was pretty damn scary. I've seen how many cones she hit on the Driver's Ed course last year (More like how many she DIDN'T hit!), and just because she was slightly older than us, it didn't improve her grasp of the 'rules of the road' any better. I've had less hair raising rides at the amusement park. Anyway, Jenny was also in the front, and I sat in the backseat between Jimmy and Stacy. I was polite enough, trying to keep my composure, but Jimmy began drenching me with compliments about the way I looked and the aroma of the body spray I used. I mean...shameless praise to the point where I couldn't blush hard enough to get him to stop. Even Jenny had to tell him to shut up after a while. Hehehe! Stacy remained pretty quiet during the ride, but she was purposely trying to avoid me. If I did so much as look at her, she'd giggle and look out the window. I take it that Jimmy gave everybody the appropriate warning that I was 'hands off' tonight, and that helps me out a lot. I won't have to worry about serious flirting from any of them. And Jimmy's flirting...while plentiful...was pretty harmless. Most times, anyway. So as long as they keep canceling each other out, I'll have less to worry about.
We got to the party, and it took us forever to find parking. And when we finally DID find parking, it was a few blocks away and we could hardly find our way back to the house. Thank goodness we saw a group of kids from our school walking in the right direction, or we would have ended up wandering around that neighborhood like the 'Fellowship of the Ring' for hours. So we get to Corey Parker's house, and it's like...huge, you know? Wow! There were already like 50 people there from the looks of it, and that was pretty damn big, considering what I'm used to. Then again, Corey did know all the right people. He was one of those guys that was pretty good friends with at least ONE person from every little 'clique', 'sports team', and 'social butterfly circle' in our school. So if he asked ten people to come, they all ended up bringing at least five people each. Very good strategy, if I do say so myself. We rang the bell and he was really happy to have us over. He even gave me a high five on the way in. So I already felt cool just being there. I'm glad I went.
Certain parts of the house were off limits, of course, but everybody had more than enough room in the house to move around. And anybody who was smoking (cigarettes....or anything 'extra') had to go outside. Corey's parents were out of town for the weekend, but they'd know he had a party if the smell of smoke was in the house. So that was a no no. Also, stealing or breaking ANYTHING would pretty much result in you getting your ass kicked. Corey's parents were known for going on little weekend trips quite often, and his parties were notorious among the whole high school sophomore and junior population for being amazing. So if you broke something, or got him in trouble...his parents would definitely put a stop to the parties, and you'd have the wrath of the entire school bearing down on you for the rest of the year and possibly the rest of your academic career.
Yes...caution was a must.
We all put our jackets in this big walk in closet that Corey had, and kinda melted into the party. There was music playing from Corey's computer, where he hooked up his MP3's to big speakers in the corner and put together a song list long enough to keep us dancing all night. Refreshments were laid out on the kitchen counter and all, and there were already people dancing and making out all over the place. It was only 7:30! Sweet!
Jimmy stuck pretty close to me for the first hour or so, and I saw so many people treating him as though they had forgotten the stigma of being 'weird' had been practically branded on his forehead since the 3rd grade. Strange. The funny thing is, it didn't really cross my mind that being so tight and snuggly with a 'gay' boy at a party might imply that we were...um...dating, until I started writing this entry tonight. I guess I've gotten used to everybody just knowing that Jimmy is a homosexual and not having any type of issue with it. I wonder if I could get away with that. Hmmm...probably not. Jimmy's already kinda occupied the acceptable gay boy spot for the whole school, and some of that is probably due to his suicide attempt. They can't really be nasty to him after something like that. It's like throwing rocks at the handicapped or something.
Jesus....I cannot believe I just wrote that.
Anyway, we were all having fun, and then.....Brandon showed up!!! Like...he really showed up!!! Wow! I had to wade through a growing mass of people to get to him, but I made a beeline straight for him the second I saw his sweet face from across the room. Omigod...I wish I had a picture of him from the party! He just looked sooooooo cute tonight, from head to toe! Everything was perfect, and my heart was pounding from the second I laid eyes on him. He smiled when he saw me, and I swooned right away. I had to keep concentrating on other things to keep from popping wood right there in front of him. He would be talking, and say something cute, or make some kind of beautiful gesture with his hand, or do that thing where he lightly rolls his eyes with a smile and his hair flops down a bit on his eyebrows....and I'd feel myself stiffening up instantly. I'd have to lean against something just to keep from being 'fully inflated'. Thankfully, I was able to keep the monster at bay. But...hot DAMN, he looked good!
I kept trying to find a way to talk to Brandon alone, but there were so many people around, and there was hardly any privacy for us anywhere. Besides, anytime I was away from Jimmy's side for a few minutes, he'd come over to seek me out. When he saw me talking to Brandon, he was even MORE excited to be near me. Jimmy said hi to Brandon and kinda looked at him with almost as much infatuation as he uses with me, and I think it made Brandon a bit uncomfortable. It wasn't until Jimmy came over smiling and all that Brandon made up an excuse to get some snacks or a drink. Jimmy giggled as soon as he left, and said, "Dude...TELL ME you don't see that!"
And I was like, "See what?"
And Jimmy goes, "How he acted around me. I think I make him nervous because I can tell he likes boys." And I laughed and gave him a shove to tell him to STOP saying that! "I can't believe you don't see it, Billy!" He whispered. "I wanna do it with him SO bad, dude! He's so hot! Hehehe! I swear...I'll grab a hold of his thick penis with my lips and suck him right out of the fucking closet! Watch!"
"DUDE!!! Quit it! He'll HEAR you!" I said.
"I WANT him to hear me! Hahaha! It'll let him know I'm available."
I'm surprised I got Jimmy to shut up before Brandon came back. But there was a part of me that wished I could just let go and talk about how cute he was too. Jimmy and I might have had a fun time in that corner just scoping out boys and having a 'healthy' discussion about all the wonderful ways we'd love to pleasure them over and over again. Hehehe! But...even more arousing, was the idea that I might actually be able to test Jimmy's theory about Brandon 'personally' once I got him alone. I mean...even if he WASN'T gay, and Jimmy had this all wrong...I wonder if we were close enough friends to get him to kiss me if I asked him to. I mean...I did it for Jimmy, right? So...if I was completely alone with Brandon somewhere, and sat him down, and...like...just gave him the most convincing argument that I could for getting him to lock those sweet luscious lips with mine...would he do it? For me? I bet you I could at least get a cheap 'feel' of his goodies out of the whole thing. I think I could get him to do it. Honestly. Especially if I sweetened the deal with ten bucks or something. How could he turn down ten bucks and a kiss. I'd pay! I would!
Anyway, things were all going to plan, until Melissa came over to talk to me. She looked all worried and stuff, and she's all like, "How are you doing? Are you ok?" Which was weird. So I asked her what she was talking about, and she looked back near the kitchen. And that's when I saw them. Sam and Joanna....'together'...holding hands and getting some juice from the kitchen. I don't know how I felt at that moment, or how I was even supposed to feel. They didn't even look like the same friends I knew from before. They seemed like some kind of cloned hybrid of the people I once knew and loved. And Lee and Ted were with them too, which made me almost want to run into hiding somewhere upstairs. Did it hurt? I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out. It stung a little bit, sure. But somehow, it became more important to show them that I could have a good time without them, than it was to pay any attention to that never-ending ache inside. I told Melissa that I was fine, smiled briefly, and went right back to talking to her, and Brandon, and Jimmy. I was determined to not let their presence bother me. DETERMINED! In fact, I think I had an even better time at the party once they arrived than I would have had if they hadn't shown up. I don't even think they knew I was there for another half hour, but it didn't seem to matter much once they noticed. I did make eye contact with them from across the room a few times during the night, but neither one of us made the journey to talk to the other Fine with me. Lee was the only one who looked 'hurt', but he didn't talk to me at all. In fact, he avoided my eyes altogether...which gave me a chance to look at his butt a few times. And he's SO slim and trim from the side....geez, it's sooooo sexy to see. Hey...I said I was MAD at him, I didn't say he wasn't cute any more.
Oh yeah! And Justin showed up way late to the party with his girlfriend. That definitely captured a lot of people's attention! They had spent the day together, they had been making plans to do the 'deed' again today...so seeing them was like seeing a two headed animal at the zoo. We examined everything. Did they do it? How do they look? They seem a bit more mature. A bit closer than usual. And once they said hello to everybody, they sat on the steps and just kissed a lot. I think they did it again for sure I think a lot of other folks were thinking that too. They just....seemed a lot more intimate than before. Wow...I'll bet it was good. It had to be good. Justin's got those slim hips and those cool lips. I wonder what kinda stuff they did. I would SO love to have had that on DVD! Sighhh...she's lucky.
The party raged on for a while, some dancing, some laughing...it was a good time. However, as it started to get late, Brandon said he was going to cut out early. I really didn't want him to go. He was a major part of my 'I'm having a really good time' effort, you know? But he insisted, and he gave me a hug as he was leaving. An actual HUG! It was all warm and close, and...and....AHHHHHH!!! And he says to me, "Don't worry...I've seen them looking. They look like they miss you." And when I looked back at Sam and Joanna, they looked away, trying to pretend that they weren't staring. I nodded, and Brandon asked, "You gonna be ok?" I nodded again, and then he took off. God...I really love that boy.
Anyway, the party started to break up around 11:30, and that was only because of curfew. I'm sure they would have stayed longer if they could chance it. Jimmy kinda felt me up a little bit in the car on the way home, but just on my leg, and he was only playing around. I might have enjoyed it if I wasn't so busy trying to make sure that Rachael didn't run us into a TREE or something! And then they dropped me off about 15 minutes ago. So....here I am, writing again. A lot of stuff could have gone wrong tonight, but all in all...it was awesome. I'm glad I didn't let all of that bullshit stop me from going out. I would have regretted it for sure. Ah well, I'm going to bed. I'll write more tomorrow. After I call AJ, I hope to have a lot of stuff to write about! Later!