This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There may be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.
Author's Message: Hey peeps! By the way, in case you are wondering who Billy Lancaster is and what his gift was you'll just have to read the whole story well chapter five in particular.
Billy Lancaster's Gift
by Sam Lakes
Looking back over my life I’ve always been queer. Although when I was five I had no idea what queer was but I remember sitting under a porch playing in the dirt with some little kid and looking up his shorts and seeing his balls and dick and it intrigued me. It wasn’t until I was in my early teens that I knew I preferred guys to girls and eventually at the age of fifteen I told my parents who took it in their stride. Well, I sort of expected they would because my mom is a high school principal.
I’ve never had sex yet with anyone as long as you don’t classify masturbation as having sex. I keep my sexuality pretty well to family and myself. I guess if I had a boyfriend it would be different – maybe.
All of the guys I get crushes on are straight at least they act that way. I know some of the kids at school are out and I’m a friend with some but none of them are exactly what I want even though a couple of them are real hotties. And the real hotties are usually taken.
My namesake Justin and Nathan on the Queer As Folk shows are hotties but not the kind of guys I’m interested in and definitely not Brian and whoever the English counter-part - all they care about is sex of course you find a lot of straights that are like that. I don’t hate them; they can do what they want but it’s not what I want. I want friendship and love first. I’m not saying I’m only for monogamous relationships; I’m just saying that there should be a real friendship and love.
On Wednesday I saw this kid bring led to the office in handcuffs. He looked really embarrassed and sad. Some of the other kids said he was picked up for selling drugs…I think the stories ran from him being a psychopath to being a mass murdered. He looked like a sophomore.
“Mom, who was the kid in handcuffs and why was he in handcuffs?”
She looked at me and smiled. “Cute isn’t he?”
“Mom that is not why I am asking about him! My friends want to know. Me, I could careless,” I said indignantly.
“Let’s see sixteen year old, gay boy sees a really cute boy and his only interest is to gather information about the very cute boy for said sixteen year old boy’s friends…”
She was really pissing me off. “First of all, I don’t think he’s cute at all!” I lied, “Secondly, even if he were the cutest boy in the world I am not interested in having a criminal as a friend much less a boyfriend! Finally, if you don’t want to tell me then fine, I really don’t care.”
“I’m sorry, honey. Okay, his name is Ethan Lewis, he’s 15. He is extremely smart, and chose to be a senior rather than being in the tenth grade. He is extremely shy from what I can tell and what Officer Tony Brisco said. Tony is his temporary Guardian and was bring him to school. He said he was very nervous and saw the handcuffs on Tony’s floorboard and handcuffed himself thinking that Tony had the key, which he didn’t. So, he’s not a criminal.”
“One last thing, he needs friends and people his own age. I would appreciate it if you and your friends would make a special effort to become his friend…It may take a lot of work.”
I went to my room to complete my homework, which I nearly found impossible to do because I couldn’t get Ethan out of my mind – he was so cute. I had so many questions about him because he was an enigma. Why did he have a temporary guardian? Was he gay and his parents found out and kicked him out? How could anyone kick out someone as cute as him? Mom seemed to know the Detective – she called him by his first name. What did mom mean about him needing friends and why would it take an effort.”
Throughout dinner I was still engrossed in my thoughts about Ethan. I loved that name, Ethan. It was the kind of name that made me smile.
“Justin, have you got a boyfriend?” asked Dad, “You seem so quite and deep in thought.”
“Huh?” I blushed.
“Ooooo, yes! So what’s he like? What’s his name?” pried Dad.
I blushed again. Why was I an only child? I swear my dad is more like a brother than a father, a very nosy brother who loves to tease.
“Dad!” I whined; he chuckled. “Mom, tell him I do not have a boyfriend!”
“Dear, Justin does not have a boyfriend…he has a crush!” she giggled.
I had had enough I got up from the table and left for my room, slammed my door shut and flopped down on my bed.
Five minutes later there was a knock at my door.
“What!” I said angrily.
Mom opened the door and came in and sat down on my bed.
“You really do have a crush on him, don’t you?”
“I don’t even know him…” I turn away from her.
“Promise me you’ll take the time to get to know him.”
“Why is he gay?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. All I know is inside he’s hurting…maybe it’s just a mother thing but I just sense he needs someone.”
“You know the detective, don’t you?”
“Tony, yes I know Tony, he’s the nephew of a very good friend Emily Pearson.”
“Oh, yeah the lady whose funeral you went to a few weeks ago.”
“She’s the reason Ethan is at our school. Life can be so cruel some times. Especially for Ethan.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Three months ago Emily invited me over and told me that she was dying and she was fine with that except for one thing, Ethan Lewis. She absolutely adored Ethan and I think he adored her.” Mom smiled, “She laughed and said that Ethan was like a habit forming drug that you could never get enough of. She asked me to see that he gets to and through college and to manage his college fund. She said he is fiercely independent and because of his way of life has kept himself away from people he doesn’t know or trust.”
“His way of life?”
“He was a runaway. His parents were killed in a car accident when he was ten and he spent a short time a week or so in a foster home and then disappeared. He was living in an old apartment house doing chores for the tenants to survive. According to Tony they all adored him too. Tony first saw him two weeks ago at the funeral.”
Mom looked down and a tear ran down her cheek, all she said was it was all very, very sad. She got control of herself and forced a smile got up and walked to the door and left.
I finally saw Ethan at lunch the next day he looked really lost so I led him over to where I normally sat and introduced him to my friends. He was very quite and shy plus with the girls giving him the third degree it didn’t help matters but I invited him over after school I was hoping we’d get to know each other better but I couldn’t get him to open up and talk to me.
Something changed as soon as I suggested we play some video games. He said he wasn’t and good at them. I tried to get him to play and he refused to even try. Then excused himself and went to the bathroom while I got engrossed in my game and the next thing I knew he was saying goodbye. His ride was here an hour early. I felt bad because I had gotten so engrossed in my game that I totally ignored him.
As I passed by the phone in the kitchen I saw fifty-cents that wasn’t there when I came home and I looked at the call log and realized he’d called he must have called his ride to pick him up early.
I sat down at the kitchen table and lay head down on the table. I knew I’d fucked up – I just get into my X-box games and tune out everything else. Had it been anyone else they would have bitched at me. I was really depressed. The next thing I knew my dad was shaking me.
“So, I take it things didn’t go very well,” he said.
“So what happened?”
“I was playing a game and he was really quite and he just left and I didn’t even notice. There’s fifty cents on the counter for the phone call.”
I didn’t see Ethan until lunchtime and he seemed completely a different person – well not completely different just more outgoing and cute. I, on the other hand, was much quieter than usual and worried that he wouldn’t want to be my friend. I had to apologize. He was telling me how excited he was and happy because he was going to spend time with his friends.
I will have to admit I was a little – no a lot disheartened by this because again I thought he really didn’t want me to be a part of his life and didn’t want me as a best friend. I think now that my mom was wrong – it wasn’t Ethan that needed a best friend it was I. I had lots of acquaintances but in reality not one friend.
Then everything changed for me. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes and told me I could never be an imposition to him. He wanted me to meet his friends. I think that was the moment that I feel in love with him.
After school we went to pick up the twins Ely and Nathan. They are identical twins and how Ethan can tell them apart I don’t know but they are the cutest set of twelve years olds you could hope to see and it is totally obvious that there is a brotherhood between Ethan and them. Of course I was given the third degree by both of them. Nathan volunteered him and I to do Mrs. Murphy’s shopping. As we shopped he started questioning me some more
“How long have you known Ethan?” asked Nathan.
“About two days.”
“Oh…Do you like him?”
“Yeah, he’s cool.”
“He likes you a lot!”
“Really? Why do you say that?”
“Because you are the first person that I have ever seen him want to hang out with. There are other kids in this neighborhood that he knows but he never hangs with them. I think it’s because he trusts you. I hope so anyway.”
He was quiet for a while but kept giving me a funny sort of look like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to say it. And I decided not to force the issue.
“Never mind? Never mind! Nathan, there is no such word in my vocabulary as never mind. Now what’s up, and don’t say the sky!”
“You sound just like Ethan.”
“Well, I got that from him earlier today. Now what’s up, and don’t say the sky.”
“Do you hate queers?”
My first reaction was to cut and run because I thought that he maybe thought I was gay. But then I realized he looked a little nervous.
“Why are you gay?”
“No…” he said just above a whisper. He looked really worried and upset and a single tear rolled down his cheek.
I stopped and looked at him and then his waterworks turned on and I led him over to a nearby bus stop bench and we sat down. He continued his crying and I pulled him into a hug.
“Hey, come on, whatever it is let it out. I’ll be here for you Nate.”
“I-I don’t know what to do,” he sobbed, “ I can’t talk to anyone about this…I’m so afraid he’ll get hurt and I love him so much.
“Ely. I think he’s gay and I think he loves Ethan, and I’m afraid what will happen if mom finds out she might kick Ely out and I’m afraid Ethan will leave if he finds out that Ely is gay and I can’t talk to Ethan about it because…because I think…I think he’ll hate me too.” I held him tight and let a few of my own tears escape.
Finally, I spoke softly, when his crying had subsided. “Hey, you need to talk to Ely about this.”
“Will you be there when I talk to him?”
“If you want.”
“Then we all need to talk with Ethan.”
“No! He will hate me!”
“No! He won’t. Nathan I’ve only know Ethan a couple of days, but I’ve heard a lot about him from my mom who was friends with Emily Pearson. Do you know her?”
“Well, I know he could never hate you or Ely – I just don’t think he’s the type of person who hates people for any reason. I mean look how he greeted you! So, you are going to talk to them?”
“Good. I know it will be fine,” I said confidently. For more reasons than one I was hoping Ethan would be cool. “Ready to go?”
Nathan smiled then kissed me on the cheek. “Ethan is so lucky to have you as a friend.”
“Come on let’s go.”
After delivering the Murphy’s their groceries Nathan and I went looking for and found them emptying the last of the garbage and we all went to the twin’s apartment. Ethan started preparing dinner for us and told the boys to straighten up the living room and vacuum. I went to help the boys.
“Nathan why don’t you go talk with Ely, if you need help I’ll be here.”
Ely looked at Nathan and then at me. He saw Nathan’s concerned look and I could see near panic appear on his face as he turned and ran into their bedroom followed by Nathan. I stood near the door and eavesdropped.
“You told him! You told Justin! I hate you!”
“He’s all right, E. He’s a nice person and I had to talk to someone!” Moments passed. I could hear them crying.
“He will tell
Ethan and then Ethan will hate us!” cried Ely. “And then Mom
I opened their door and walked in – Ely immediately buried his face in his pillow. I walked over to the bed and sat down next to him.
“Ely, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay! I don’t want to be a faggot. I want to be normal! People will hate me!”
“Nathan doesn’t hate you.”
“That’s because he’s gay too.”
I looked over at Nathan who nodded shamefully.
“Look, it’s not so bad and you don’t have to tell everybody in fact most gays don’t come out to everyone…and we’re not all a bunch perverted weirdos in fact there are a lot more straights that are into weird stuff.”
Both boys looked at me with a bit of a surprised look on their faces.
“You said we’re – are you gay too?”
I blushed. I had just accidentally outed myself.
“Oops! Yeah. I’m gay.”
“I knew there was a reason I liked you!” giggled Nathan.
“Is Ethan?” asked Ely.
I shrugged my shoulders, “I don’t know…”
“Are you out?” asked Ely.
“Only to my parents and you guys now.”
I told them about coming out to my parents and how cool they are and that my mom even teases me about cute boys I know and have a crush on.
“Like Ethan,” said Ely.
I blushed and they giggled.
“Yeah. Like Ethan,” I sighed.
“Do we have to come out to Ethan?” asked Nathan.
“There’s no law or rule. You come out to someone when you are ready and you feel it’s the right thing to do.”
“What if they hate you?”
“Then they were never a real friend and you are better off with out them and finding new friends who can accept you as you are.”
“But wouldn’t it hurt you if Ethan said he hated you?”
“Yeah, very much, but you guys don’t hate me right?
“No” they both said.
“Well then I’d just have to wait for you two to grow up and then I’d marry both of you,” I laughed. They laughed too.
We decided not to out ourselves to Ethan until we felt it was the right time and if for example I outed myself I would only out myself.
Over the next few weeks there wasn’t a day that Ethan and I didn’t go to the apartments. The twins and I were becoming really close and they had a great sense of humor. Now whenever I would go to the grocery store for someone in the apartments they would both tag along and we’d always come back laughing and joking around. When people would offer to pay us we’d just pass them on to Ethan and say he was the boss.
I guess to most everyone else it looked like I really went to be with the twins. But that wasn’t how it really was. I loved the twins and they knew it but they also knew that the one I was really in love with was Ethan. After a month I had probably told Ethan everything about me except that I was gay and that I loved him. And he had told me nothing about himself and he always seemed to keep himself at arm’s length from me and it was beginning to get to me.
“You and the twins need to go do your homework,” said Ethan.
“E, Nate go get started,” I told the boys and they left
“I was going to help you first, they can get started on their own.”
“I don’t need your help and you have homework.”
I was not having a good day. “Yeah, well you never do, do you?” I muttered.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Never mind, you’d never understand,” I mumbled and turned and started to walk away, but I had had it.
“Why are you so pissy?”
“You know what, FUCK YOU, ETHAN! I’ve done everything I can think of to try gain your trust and friendship, I’ve held practically nothing back about me in hopes that you’d reciprocate; that if I shared my life with you, you’d let me into your life. Well, it hurts! It hurts too much to know that no matter what I do you will never let me be a part of your life! I foolishly thought I could mean something to you and it’s obvious that I don’t. I can’t take the pain anymore, I just can’t…” I turned and walked away.
Want more?- Sam.