Date: Tue, 19 Oct 1999 23:26:37 EDT
From: Rysh1422@aol.com
Subject: Bleeding Hearts - Chapter 10

Woohoo! I made it to chapter 10! Yay! Okay, enough self-congratulations. I
hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did. I would also like to proudly
announce my new web site. It has information about me (how exciting),
information about all the characters, a message board, contest information
and of course the story - not mention much more. Check it out at:
http://www.familyshoebox.com/family/bleeding-hearts


Chapter 10

	I woke up the next morning excited about my day for the first time
in quite some time. I was excited for three reasons mainly. One, I was
still excited about my conversation the night before with Kane. I couldn't
wait to see Adam's face when he called on Wednesday.

	The second reason I was excited was I was going back to school
today. After missing two weeks, I was anxious to get back. I was a little
nervous too since I knew I had been a main topic of conversation.

	The third reason was that before I went to school, Mom was picking
me up and taking me to the optometrist to get new glasses since mine had
broken when Dad punched me. I hadn't had any since then.

	I was ready and dressed in my best pair of baggy jeans and a new
long sleeved Tavarua shirt when Mom arrived to pick me up for my
appointment. We made small talk all the way to the office. After
Dr. Sanchez did a check up to see if my prescription was still accurate he
asked me the question he always did every time I got new glasses.

	"So Killian, have you thought any more about getting contacts?" he
asked me.

	I started to answer with my usual no thanks, but for some reason I
stopped and thought about it. Why not? It wouldn't be to please Dad anymore
and if other people could get used to putting them in then maybe I could
too. It was time for some changes. I was going to take control of my life
and I would start by getting contacts.

	"Yeah, I think I'd like to try them," I told him.

	He looked up in surprise, "You would?"

	"Yeah, I'm ready for something new."

	"Ok, lets take another look at a few things then," he said. He
moved the machines back over to my eyes and looked at them from different
angles. After a while he sat back and said, "You have great eyes for
contacts. You shouldn't have any problems. I think we even have your
prescription in stock. You can take them home today."

	I had to choose between disposable and permanent; I went with
disposable. Then I had to decide what kind. I went with a new kind that you
are supposed to be able to put in a leave in for a month at a
time. Apparently they breathe or something, whatever that means.

	Then I had to practice putting them in, over and over till I could
do it relatively well. It wasn't as hard as I had feared, although it did
take me about 20 minutes on each eye the first time.

	I decided to wear them to school. I also asked Mom if I could get a
haircut after school since I was ready for a change. Besides, my hair had
grown a lot since my last haircut and it was looking a little shaggy. Mom
decided that we would just go now since I was already late for school.

	"You might as well look your best for your first day back," she
said philosophically. Who was I to argue?

	We arrived at the salon Mom goes to and I was turned over to a
stylish woman improbably named Bambi. Bambi asked me what I wanted, but
since I didn't really know I told her to do whatever she wanted. She let
out a little squeal and said I was her dream client come true.

	About a half hour later she spun me around to get my first look at
the finished product. It was a short stylish cut, very different from the
longish style that I had come in with. The cut was short around the ears
and in the back and a little longer in the front. Bambi had parted it down
the center and my natural wavy hair had actually curled slightly at the
ends.

	"So whatcha think?" she asked me.

	"I love it!" I told her.

	After we paid for my haircut and I tipped Bambi generously, we were
off for school. I was more than a little nervous by this time. I had been
out for two weeks, I knew I was the main topic in the rumor mills and I had
a new look that for all I knew everyone would hate. I tried to summon up
the courage that I had found earlier, the courage from the new Killian, but
apparently he had stepped out for the moment.

	Mom noticed of course.

	"You're gonna be fine, Killian," she encouraged me. "I know I'm
just your mom and my opinion doesn't really count, but I think your new
look is super. You look very cute. The girls will be all over you." She
paused for a moment and then added, "Too bad you won't be interested."

	I stared at her in surprise for a second, my mouth hanging open in
shock, and then she burst into laughter. I realized she was making a joke
and I joined her in the laughter.

	"You should have seen your face," she gasped as we pulled into the
school drop-off point.

	I grabbed my backpack and then impulsively leaned over and kissed
her on the cheek.

	"Thanks, Mom," I said, "Thanks for everything."

	As I jumped out of the car I saw tears forming in her eyes. "I love
you," she called, "Have a great day!" She pulled away as I turned and faced
the school.

	I let out a little sigh and started for the main doors. I had to
check in at the office since I was late. They were all overly nice to me,
telling me not to worry about being late and writing me passes and
essentially telling me I could have come in 5 minutes before the final bell
and it would have been hunky dory with them. I guess that's one of the
benefits of being stabbed and having it splashed all over the newspapers.

	At my school, we have 4 period days; that means that each period is
much longer than the traditional 7 period days. I came in right at the end
of my second period. The rest of the day went fairly smoothly with everyone
going out of their way to be nice to me. Frankly, it was getting
annoying. I'd rather have just been ignored as always.

	After final bell I looked for Asher. My newfound confidence was
back and I was ready to make an attempt at least to patch things up. I
wanted to ask him to forgive me and see if we couldn't work things
out. Unfortunately, I couldn't find him anywhere.

	Adam was supposed to pick me up since Mom had dropped me off so I
was waiting outside when Zack and Jesse approached me.

	"Killian," Zack said as they took up positions on either side of
me.

	"Hi Zack. Hi Jesse," I said nervously.

	"I think we need to talk," Zack continued.

	"Yeah? What about?"

	"I think you know," he countered.

	"Maybe, but I'd rather you said," I told him cautiously.

	"Stop playing games, Killian," Jesse chipped in, ever helpful as
usual.

	"I'm not playing games. You guys are the ones that haven't so much
as spoken to me in weeks. I've been in the hospital and then stuck at
home."

	"Well, you're not at home anymore are you?" Zack said.

	"No, I'm not, but what's that got to do with anything?"

	"It has everything to do with everything," Zack explained
patiently. "Look, we're not dumb. You start hanging out with Seth, you
ditch us, you're in the park at night with Seth, you get kicked out of your
house and now you're back with a whole new look. You're gay aren't you?"

	I figured it was coming but somehow it still caught me off guard. I
wasn't ready to come out to the whole school yet, and telling Zack and
Jesse would be the equivalent of just that. But what could I say that they
would believe? I thought frantically for a few seconds, then decided that
the truth was always the best way to go...or in this case, part of the
truth.

	"Look, Seth and I were just friends. We were meeting in the park to
talk, I swear. And my dad kicked me out because I went to his funeral. You
know how my dad is."

	They stared at me for a minute in silence, then Zack pushed off
away from the building.

	"Ok, Killian," he said finally, "I'll buy that for now, but we'll
be watching you. I just hope that now that the fag's gone you can get back
to normal."

	I was suddenly so furious that my sight actually blurred. I've
always heard the saying 'seeing red' but now I knew what it meant. It took
all I was to remain outwardly calm and quiet as they walked away.

	I was still trying to calm my pounding heart when Adam pulled up. I
jumped in the car and slumped down in my seat.

	"What's wrong?" Adam asked.

	"Nothing," I said, "Just stupid people."

	"No shortage of those," he agreed, "Anything in particular or just
your everyday, average, run-of-the-mill stupidity?"

	"Zack and Jesse just make me so mad. I don't really wanna talk
about it."

	"No problem. If you change your mind, I'm here for you."

	"Thanks, Adam," I said sincerely, "When I get back to your house
I'm gonna take my car and go talk to Asher. We need to talk about what
happened."

	"Ok, he might be ready by now, but don't push it. If he doesn't
want to talk, let it go again for now."

	I drove over to Asher's house and knocked on the door. His mom
answered. She was a slightly plump lady with short curly brown hair almost
just like Asher's. She always seemed to be in a good mood. I loved hanging
out at Asher's house just so I could be around her. Her first name is Deb
and she's always telling me to call her that, but for some reason I've
always called her Mrs. Davis. She was wearing jeans and a fuzzy purple
sweater.

	"Killian," she said, sounding surprised, "I haven't seen you in
ages. How are you doing?"

	"I'm fine," I said, "Is Asher home?"

	"No, he went out with Zack and Jesse."

	"Oh, ok, well...can you tell him I came by to talk to him," I
paused for a moment, then added, "Tell him I said I'm sorry."

	"I'll do that, Killian," she said, "And you take care of yourself,
ok?"

	"Yes, Mrs. Davis. I'll try."

	Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty much repeats of Monday except I
drove so there were no more awkward conversations with Zack and
Jesse. Asher was either still avoiding me or he'd dropped off the face of
the earth, but since I hadn't heard any rumors of his sudden disappearance
I could only assume the former. I was hurt a little that he wouldn't even
talk to me, but Adam kept saying that he would come around eventually, to
just give him time. I wondered how much time it would take. I really missed
him.

	I was distracted the whole last period of school on Wednesday
because I knew Kane was calling that night. I couldn't wait to see the look
on Adam's face. I drove straight to Adam's house and walked in to find
Steve cooking at the stove in the kitchen. I smelled spaghetti sauce.

	"Hey there, kiddo," he called out when I came in, then he caught
sight of me, "Whoa new look! I like!"

	"Hi Steve. Thanks," I said, "Smells good. I didn't know you were
coming over tonight."

	"It was one of those last minute kind of things," he told me, "I
know today is Kane's birthday and its always really hard on Adam, so I
thought I'd come over and cook dinner for you guys and offer a little moral
support."

	"Well I have a surprise that ought to cheer him up," I said with a
huge grin.

	"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

	"If I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise now would it," I
teased.

	"What wouldn't be a surprise?" Adam asked walking into the kitchen.

	"Ah ah ah," Steve called over his shoulder as he dumped the
spaghetti noodles into the boiling water, "If I can't know then neither can
you."

	Adam walked over and slipped his arms around Steve's waist and
kissed him on the back of the neck.

	"Hey, don't distract the cook," Steve laughed, "And if you're
trying to get the secret out of me, it won't work because I don't know it."

	Adam let his arms slip out from around Steve and he picked up a
spaghetti strainer and advanced on me.

	"Tell me the secret or I'll strain you," he said menacingly.

	I burst out laughing and Steve and Adam quickly joined in. It was
quite a festive atmosphere in the Connelly kitchen and I felt totally
relaxed and happy for the firs time in just about as long as I could
remember. I sat at the kitchen table under the warm yellow light from the
overhead lamp while I did my homework. Steve and Adam puttered happily
around me as they finished preparing the dinner. At some point someone put
on a Santana CD and the sounds of guitar mixed with the pungent smell of
garlic and oregano, filling the house. I was home.

	We had just settled around the table to eat when the doorbell rang.

	"Who could that be?" Adam wondered.

	"I'll get it," I offered, jumping up before anyone else could.

	I opened to the door and almost passed out. It was Kane!

	"Kane?" I hissed, "Oh my gosh...I thought you were gonna
call. How'd you get here?"

	"You must be Killian," he whispered and with a shy smile offered
his hand.

	I nodded as I shook it. I couldn't believe he was here. He stood
there in black baggy shorts (even though it was very chilly outside) and an
oversized gray sweatshirt with a red t-shirt peeking out around the
collar. He looked like a lost little boy. He was even shorter than I was,
maybe about 5'6" or so. His hair was a beautiful reddish-brown color that
shone in the porch light. He was absolutely beautiful.

	"Um...is my dad here?" he asked me after a few seconds.

	I realized I was staring and quickly looked away.

	"Um, uh, yeah," I stuttered, "He's, uh, in the kitchen."

	I stepped back to allow him in and as he stepped by I noticed he
had a backpack slung over his shoulder and he was carrying a skateboard by
the front axle.

	"Who is it, Killian?" Adam called from the kitchen.

	Kane's eyes lit up at the sound of his father's voice.

	"Just a sec," I called back then spun back to Kane. "How did you
get here? Are you staying?" I was trying to keep my voice down but it kept
climbing up.

	"I caught a bus and then a taxi," he explained trying to match my
low tones. His eyes kept sliding down the hallway towards the kitchen
doorway. "I don't know what I'm doing. Mom'll flip when she finds out I'm
not really at Chad's house. But I don't care. I just had to see Dad."

	"Well, hold on a second," I told him. "I'll go in and set it up. Oh
man, this is so much better than just a phone call."

	Kane giggled nervously and I shushed him. I motioned him to follow
me as far as the kitchen door. He stayed just out of sight as I walked on
in.

	"Who was it?" Adam asked. He and Steve had started eating already.

	"Well, remember that surprise I mentioned earlier?"

	Steve and Adam both looked up curiously now.

	"Yeah?" Adam said.

	"Well, it didn't turn out quite how I expected, but I'm pretty sure
you'll like this even better."

	"Like what, Killian?" Adam asked me, "Whatever it is I'm sure I'll
love it."

	I took a deep breath and motioned to Kane. He stepped slowly in the
light of the kitchen.

	For a few moments you could have heard the proverbial pin
drop. Then suddenly Adam leaped up from the table with a clatter of
discarded silverware and ran towards Kane, lifting him up off his feet in a
huge bear hug.

	They spun around silently for a few moments before Adam set him
down gently on his feet. When he pulled back there were tears running down
his cheeks.

	He cupped Kane's face in his hands, "Kane! How did you get here?
Does your mother know you're here?"

	"I caught a bus and no, she doesn't know yet," Kane answered. He
sounded just as emotional as Adam.

	Adam pulled him in for another hug and turned to me.

	"This was your doing?" he asked me.

	"Sort of," I admitted, "but I just thought he was gonna call."

	"Well thank you," he said as he reached out and drew me in the hug
as well, "Thank you from the bottom of my heart."

	Steve cleared his throat and our little huddle broke up.

	"I think some phone calls might be in order," he suggested
gently. Steve seemed to be the voice of reason around here.

	"Yes," Adam agreed, "We need to call your mother. But first lets
eat before the food gets cold. And oh...how could I forget? Let's sing
happy birthday to Kane!"

	After singing a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday, another place was
set at the table and we all settled down to eat once again. There was a lot
of excited conversation and explanations, how I'd found Kane, how he'd
gotten there. It felt like a real family. Maybe not a family in the
traditional sense, but a family nonetheless. When everyone was finished and
the dishes had been rinsed and stacked in the dishwasher, Adam sighed.

	"Well, I think we've put this off long enough," he said, "Let's
call your mother, Kane."

	Kane took the phone and called home. After a few rings, he began to
talk, explaining quickly where he was. It seemed to go downhill from
there. We could only hear his side of the conversation, but things
obviously weren't going well.

	"But Mom," he kept saying, but she apparently kept cutting him
off. Finally he just sighed and held the phone out to Adam, who visibly
winced. He reluctantly took the phone.

	"Hello, Eve," he said evenly. He listened for a moment with his
eyes closed. "No, I had no idea he was coming here." Pause. "No, I didn't
secretly sneak him down here." Pause. "No, Eve, this is not a kidnapping,
don't call the police. There's no sense in blowing this out of proportion."
Long pause. "That's fine then, I'll look forward to seeing you." He hung up
the phone. "About as much as I look forward to a having all my teeth ripped
from my head while having all my body hair plucked and being set on fire
and...and..."

	I couldn't help it; I started giggling. Adam looked over at me with
a half-smile and after a few seconds began to chuckle. Soon we were all
laughing and the easy feeling from earlier was back.

	"So what was said?" Steve asked.

	"A lot that I won't repeat, thank you," Adam said with a wry smile,
"but the gist of it once we'd established that I was a no good kidnapping
bastard was that she'll be down late tomorrow afternoon to pick you up,
Kane."

	"So I get to stay the night?" he asked excitedly.

	"Yep," Adam said, "And we'd better make the most of it, cuz it
might be the last time for awhile."

	We sat around talking and laughing for the next hour. Kane turned
out to very funny and clever once he got used to everyone. Things got a
little bogged down once when we started talked and reminiscing about
Seth. We all cried a little, but eventually Kane and Adam got to telling
anecdotes about Seth when he was younger and soon we were all laughing
again, but now there was a bittersweet undercurrent. Suddenly the doorbell
rang again. Everyone turned and looked at me.

	"What?" I said.

	"Another surprise?" Steve asked.

	"If so, it isn't mine," I told them, "But I'll go get it anyway."

	I got up off the couch and walked to the front door. I flipped on
the light as I opened the door and froze.

	"Hi, Killian," Asher said.