Date: Sat, 8 Jan 2000 16:42:03 EST
From: Rysh1422@aol.com
Subject: Bleeding Hearts - Chapter 19

After that last cliffhanger, I'm just glad i wasn't hung. :o) Hopefully,
chapter 19 was worth the wait. Lemme know what you think.

http://www.familyshoebox.com/family/bleeding-hearts


Chapter 19

	I felt another hand on my back; this time when I turned around, I
couldn't tell who it was right away.  Well, I could tell it was Batman, but
who was under the mask and skin-tight costume I couldn't tell.  It was
obvious, however, that he was in very good shape and I couldn't help but
wonder if that was a codpiece in there...

	He motioned to me to follow him.  I looked at Asher who just
shrugged, some help he was.

	I decided to follow the caped crusader and see what happened.
There were hundreds of people here; I couldn't see how he could hurt me
with so many people around so I figured I was safe.  He led away from the
lights and crowds and into the shadows of some nearby trees.  Once there,
he reached up to remove the mask, but before he could, the music stopped.
We both turned towards the DJ stage that was set up at one end of the dance
floor.

	Standing in the spotlight, microphone in hand was Gilly in a
totally different costume than what she had showed me. She was dressed in
an elaborate gown that looked like something out of the movie Elizabeth or
Shakespeare in Love. Her hair was piled up on top of her head and her
cheeks were bright red. I couldn't tell if it was from anger or if it was
blush.

	"Hello everyone," she said into the microphone. "I hope everyone is
having a good time so far." An enormous roar greeted her, "Please remember
that no drugs or alcohol is allowed at my parties and if you are caught
with either, you will be asked to leave." Scattered boos met this
statement. Gilly ignored them and plowed on. "Before we turn the music back
on I have an important announcement to make."

	I noticed someone moving quickly towards the stage, but I couldn't
quite tell who it was.

	"It's time you all found out the truth about someone you all know,"
Gilly went on. I felt as if someone had dumped cold water all over me. The
person was pushing through even faster towards the stage now. I felt myself
take a few steps forward myself...as if I could somehow stop her.

	"That person is..."

	Before she could finish the person who had been rushing toward her
dived onto the stage with a spectacular belly flop, grabbed the microphone
cord and yanked it out of her hand. They scrambled to their feet where it
became obvious that it was a male in a pirate costume, although I still
couldn't see who or if I even knew him. The unknown male and Gilly then
proceeded to have a heated discussion complete with angry hand gestures,
which was picked up somewhat by the fallen microphone.

	"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Gilly hissed.

	"What do you think you're doing? You can't do that. Not here." The
other person shot back. It was Jake's voice.

	They both seemed to realize that they were being broadcast at the
same time and quickly moved away from the center stage. Jake motioned for
the music to be started up again and soon everyone had gone back to
dancing, forgetting the little drama that had just transpired before
them. It wasn't so easy for me.

	I turned back to Batman, but he was gone. I looked around, trying
to find him but he was nowhere to be seen. I thought for a minute, my mind
still on the whole scene with Gilly, then dove back into the sea of
flesh. I shoved and darted my way in the general direction I had come from
hoping to catch a glimpse of Kane or Asher or anyone I knew for that
matter.

	I was getting more and more frustrated as I searched the crowds to
no avail. Then I saw something that totally took my breath away. In the
middle of a circle of enthralled spectators, someone was dancing. Not just
dancing like everyone else, but dancing with wild abandon, pure joy
personified. I was drawn to the dancer, almost against my will. As I drew
closer I could see it was a boy, someone I didn't know. He was wearing a
black body suit to which was sewn brightly colored strips of material,
every color of the rainbow, all different materials and textures. The
effect was dizzying and mesmerizing. He was graceful and thin, his height
hard to estimate since he was twirling and leaping about, but I guessed
about 5'9" and 135 pounds. He was crowned with a full head of golden curls
that almost seemed to flash in the lights.

	"Who is that?" I asked someone beside me.

	"I don't know. I've never seen him before," they answered.

	Someone on the other side of them leaned towards me, "No one knows
who he is," she said, "I've been trying to find out for the last 20
minutes."

	I stood and watched him; all thoughts of finding Kane and Asher
were gone. He continued to dance as if no one was there, in a world of his
own. And what a beautiful world it must have been too. His face radiated
peace and contentment. He wasn't stunningly gorgeous, but he was simply
beautiful. He made me happy just to watch him. I suddenly found myself
crying and I didn't know why. I wasn't sad or hurt or angry. There were
just suddenly tears rolling down my cheeks, one after the other.

	And suddenly he stopped. The music kept on, but then I suspected he
was dancing to his own music anyway, not the notes we heard. He stood there
for a moment and then turned and walked right over to me and stood in front
of me. I could now see his eyes, they were an odd shade that seemed to
shift as he moved, now they were blue, now gray, now blue again. He reached
out and softly brushed a tear from my cheek.

	"I'm Dashel. You can call me Dash," he said softly.

	"I'm..."

	"Killian," he interrupted, "I know who you are. I also know that
you are hurting. I can feel it. Come on, walk over here so we can talk."

	I looked over my shoulder, looking again for Kane or Asher.

	"Don't worry about your friends. They went inside. They're fine,"
Dash said, then he led me back towards the trees where'd I'd been just a
few minutes before.

	He looked around and then suddenly just dropped to the ground
Indian style. I looked down at him in surprise; he just grinned up at me
and patted the ground next to him. "Pull up some dirt," he said cheekily.

	I sat down next to him, pulling the cloak around me tighter since
it was getting a little chilly.

	"Why are you carrying so much pain around inside you?" he asked
me. He didn't beat around the bush.

	I thought about it for a minute before I answered. Was I carrying
around pain? I didn't think so. I thought I was doing pretty well
actually. I opened my mouth to tell him that, but what came out surprised
me. "What else is there to do with it?" I asked.

	He smiled again, "Give it away."

	I could see myself reflected in those amazing eyes; I could see the
confusion on my face. "What? How do you give away pain? Who would want it?"

	"Most people wouldn't want it. But I'm not talking about giving it
away to just any person."

	"What?" Now I was really confused.

	"There is only one who can take your pain and replace it with
peace."

	"Who?" Even I was taken aback by the desperation in my voice. Why I
hadn't I been able to see the pain before now? It seemed as if it would
overwhelm me at any moment. All the hurt and fear from Seth's murder and my
attack, my dad's rejection and beating, my mom moving away...everything
just suddenly bubbled to the top. I hadn't even realized how much I had
been stuffing it away. Ignoring it and hoping it would just go
away. Obviously it hadn't.

	"The only one who can take away your pain is God."

	I was quiet for a moment. "God?" I whispered quietly at last.

	He nodded solemnly. "Have you forgotten about Him? He hasn't
forgotten about you." He broke into that infectious grin of his again, then
quickly became serious once again. "Dude, you have got to let go of all
that stuff, it's going to eat you up inside. How can you be happy when you
are carrying around so much negative stuff?"

	"I...I don't know how to give it to Him."

	"It's easy. Like this..." He threw his head back, squeezed his eyes
shut and just sat there. Slowly, a smile spread its way across his
face. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he looked at me again. "Now you
try it."

	"What did you do?"

	"I gave it to Him."

	"Huh?"

	"First I feel Him. I always feel Him, there all the time, a
constant presence everywhere; but when I NEED Him I...call, kinda, with my
need, reach out, and He's there. And I feel His arms around me and I cry
into them, and picture all my problems coming out in my tears. They aren't
real tears, but...well...you get the idea."

	"It's that easy?"

	"Yup. Now you try it."

	I looked around nervously.

	"No one's watching you. Besides, who cares? Just let it go."

	He was right. No one was paying any attention to us. It was like we
were invisible. I looked at Dash for a few more seconds then took a deep
breath and closed my eyes. Slowly I tipped my head back until my face was
pointed towards the sky. I thought about all my pain, all the hurt and
sadness. And I waited for God. At first I thought nothing was going to
happen. Then, I noticed a pinpoint of light appear above me. It began to
grow, slow at first, then faster and faster. Then with a brilliant flash of
pure white light that I could actually see through my closed eyelids, I
felt myself enfolded in unseen arms. And I was crying; real tears along
with my symbolic tears. And slowly, slowly, I felt it all drain away.

	I opened my eyes, blinking rapidly to make the spots go away. I
heard Dashel laughing before I could see him. It was a clear, joy-filled
laugh that made me want to join in.

	"All gone?" he said.

	I nodded, at a loss for words.

	"Yosh major, dude!"  He crowed gleefully. He jumped up and did a
little dance right where he stood.

	I grinned even though I had no idea what he had just said. He
stopped dancing and reached down to pull me up. As I took his hand it was
like electricity courses out of him and into me. I was standing before I
knew what hit me. Dash threw his arms around me in a tight hug, then
stepped back with his hands on my shoulders.

	"Dance with me," he commanded.

	"What? I can't dance!" I laughed.

	"You just experienced God's arms around you and you say you can't
dance? Open up your heart and just...dance!" And with that he spun off in a
leaping twirl.

	I stood awkwardly, not sure what to do. Then I threw up my hands
and gave in. At first, I simply tried to imitate Dash's movements, but soon
I was lost in the feeling and was hardly even aware of his presence. I
don't know how long I danced, but next thing I knew I was bone tired. I
stopped dancing and collapsed to the ground again. Dash plopped down next
to me and then flopped onto his back. I lay back too, our arms touching.

	"Feels good, huh?" he said.

	"Very." I agreed.

	"You caught on fast."

	"Guess I had a good teacher."

	"The best, but it wasn't me."

	"Are you always so cryptic?"

	He laughed, "Pretty much. I don't mean to be."

	"I've never met anyone like you before."

	He sat up. "I'm pretty unique." He studied me for a minute. "I'm
getting ready to split. But before I go I have a message for you."

	I sat up as well. "A message? From who?"

	"I think you know," he said with a grin. Then he frowned. "You are
in danger. You were almost killed in this very spot earlier tonight." I
gasped, but he raised his hand and continued, "In your effort to avoid the
pain caused by Seth's death, you have forgotten what you started out to
do. You have to finish that now. Find Seth's killer. It's up to you to
bring closure to this horrible thing that has happened. But please be
careful. If you take foolish risks you will have to pay the price." Then,
as suddenly as the serious mood and the frown had appeared, they were
gone. Everything was sudden about Dash. His movements, his moods, even his
speech. The grin was back and Dash was on his feet again.

	"Dude, its been so radiotopically unbelievable awesome, but now I
have to go."

	"Why? Where are you going?"

	"Home. I did what I was sent here to do." He started off into the
crowd.

	"Wait, Dash! Will I see you again?"

	He shrugged, "Who knows, dude? It's not up to me. I hope so."

	"Killian," a voice called from behind me. I spun around and saw
Kane pushing through the crowd with Asher right behind him. "Where have you
been? We've been looking all over for you. We were getting worried."

	I spun back around, but it was too late. He was gone, swallowed up
by the crowd.

	"Killian?" Asher said.

	I glanced back at him then continued my futile search for Dash.

	"Are you ok? Who are you looking for?" Kane asked me.

	I turned back to them. "I'm great. I haven't been this good in
weeks and weeks. It was amazing!"

	"What was?" Asher said, obviously confused.

	"There was this guy named Dash, and he was dancing and I started
crying, and he came over to me and talked to me and he helped me give my
pain to God and then we danced and now he's gone."

	"Whoa, dude," Asher laughed while Kane stared at me as if I'd gone
crazy, "Slow down. Who is this guy? I've never heard of any Dash, does he
go to our school?"

	"I don't know. No one seems to know him. He didn't even tell me his
last name. But he told me I had to find Seth's killer."

	Kane snapped to attention at that. "He said what?"

	"He said that I had to find Seth's killer and I had to be careful
because I was in danger."

	"This guy sounds really creepy," Asher said.

	"No, he wasn't. He wasn't like anyone I've ever met."

	"Well, it sounds like he was the man of your dreams, huh?" Asher
said, sounding more than a little jealous, "I thought that was Jake."

	"You thought what was me?" Jake asked as he appeared at my side.

	I shot Asher a dirty look before turning to face Jake. He was
wearing a pirate costume, complete with hook, open tattered shirt and a
plastic parrot on his shoulder.

	"Nice dive earlier," I said.

	Jake grimaced. "Thanks, I think I got a splinter in my belly."

	"So what was that all about anyway," Asher asked.

	Jake's eyes shifted away and he shrugged, "Who knows? You know how
women are. I just grabbed for the mic cord and hoped for the best."

	"That was you that jumped on stage earlier?" Kane asked, jumping
into the conversation for the first time.

	"Oh, I'm sorry," I said realizing that I hadn't made any
introductions. "Jake, this is my new little brother, Kane. Kane, this is my
friend, Jake. He's Gilly's brother."

	Kane smiled and extended his hand. Jake answered his smile with one
of his patented lop-sided grins.

	"So since this is one of your parties, maybe you know who this guy
I met was," I started.

	"Whoa, don't pin this shindig on me. This is Todd and Gilly's baby
all the way. I just help decorate and do impromptu stunt dives, you
know...the normal stuff."

	We all laughed. "Well anyway," I continued, "maybe you know him
anyway. His name was Dash. He's about Asher's height with curly blonde
hair?"

	"Dash?" he said, "No, I'm pretty sure I don't know any Dash's. Why,
what was so special about this guy?"

	"Killian has a crush on him," Asher volunteered, with just a hint
of satisfaction in his voice.

	"I do not. I just met him tonight. It was just that he was..."

	"Different from anyone you've ever met before?" Asher finished.

	"Yeah, something like that," I muttered. "Just forget about it."

	"Yeah, forget about him," Jake agreed. "Let's dance!"

	The rest of the night was just plain fun. I hung out with Asher,
Kane and Jake all night and everyone seemed to get along. Marcus came and
went with some of his friends. Jake and Kane hit it off and it was obvious
that they were going to be good friends. There was no more drama with
Gilly; in fact I didn't even see her anymore. I never saw Dash again
either. I caught a glimpse of Zack and Jesse a few times, but they kept
their distance.

	The party started winding down around 1 AM and Adam wanted us home
by 1:30 anyway, so Kane and I decided to go. We said our goodbyes and we
started back out towards our car. It got darker and darker the closer we
got to the gate. It seemed the security light had burned out or
something. By the time we got to my car the only light was from the sliver
of moon that was out tonight. But it was enough light to see that all my
windows had been smashed.

	"Oh shit!" I gasped.

	"What happened?" Kane asked, he sounded scared. I knew how he felt.

	"Someone smashed my windows."

	"What are we going to do?"

	"We're gonna go back to the house and call the police." I said,
backing away from the car.

	We ran into Jake as we were walking back to the house.

	"I thought you guys were leaving," he said when he saw us.

	"So did we," I said.

	"Someone smashed out all the windows in Killian's car," Kane told
him.

	"What?!" Jake gasped.

	"Yeah, I need to call the police--and Adam so he'll know where we
are and can come pick us up."

	"You can stay here tonight if you want."

	"Thanks, Jake," I said, "We might end up doing that."

	The police got there about a half hour later, just after Adam
arrived. He had insisted on coming to get us saying he wanted us
home. Soon, the whole area out by the road was lit up brighter than the
back yard dance floor. They worked for a while, while Adam, Kane, Jake and
myself watched from a distance. Asher and Marcus joined us after a little
bit. Everyone who was still here was being kept in the backyard until the
police knew more. The whole thing was being treated a little more seriously
because of my stabbing back in September.

	One of the cops disengaged himself eventually and came over to
us. "Mr. Kendall?" he asked Adam.

	"No, I'm Mr. Connelly. Adam Connelly. Killian is staying with me
while his mother is out of town."

	"Connelly?" the cop asked with raised eyebrows. "Any relation to
the Connelly..."

	"He was my son." Adam said quietly.

	"I'm sorry," the cop said quickly, "That was insensitive. I'm
Officer Hoetz."

	"It's ok, Officer Hoetz. You couldn't know."

	He nodded, "Well, here's what we've concluded so far. In light of
what happened last month and how it involved Killian here, we took this
more seriously than we normally would have. I mean windows smashed at a
party aren't an earth-shattering event. But under the circumstances...well,
as you can see, we took precautions. We searched the car and the
surrounding area and we kept everyone that was still here on the
premises. It paid off. We found a scrap of material caught on a piece of
glass and we may be able to match it up with one of the people still
here. We're trying to do that now. We are also taking names and releasing
people as we can. We don't want to keep everyone here all night, but things
took a nasty turn when we found this in the front seat of the car." He held
up a plastic zip-lock bag with a folded piece of paper inside. "Someone
threw it in after the windows were smashed because it was on top of the
broken glass."

	"What is it?" I asked.

	"It's a note."

	"What does it say," Adam asked.

	Officer Hoetz thought a moment, then nodded and reached into his
pocket. He pulled out a pair of rubber gloves and slipped them on. Then he
opened the bag and drew out the note, opened it and read it.

	"Killian," he read, "You'd think after last time, you'd learn. This
is just a warning. Next time you won't be so lucky."

	We all stood stunned as Officer Hoetz folded the note again ad
sealed it back in the baggy. Adam snapped out of it first.

	"That proves that Seth's death was murder and now the killer is
after Killian."

	"Mr. Connelly, calm down," Officer Hoetz said soothingly. "It
doesn't mean anything of the sort, necessarily. It just means that someone
is unhappy with Killian and they are trying to scare him. Maybe he stole
someone's girlfriend or something."

	Adam snorted, "Here we go again, huh? My son was murdered and no
one wants to do anything about it."

	"Mr. Connelly, I understand your grief, but there was no proof..."

	"NO. You DO NOT understand my grief. And there's plenty of proof,
but no one will even look at it. How was that note done?"

	"It was computer generated. Simple red ink on white paper."

	"That's exactly like the threatening notes Seth was getting before
he was murdered."

	Officer Hoetz pulled out a notebook and jotted something on it,
flipped it closed and stuck it back in his pocket. "We'll look into it,
Mr. Connelly."

	"I hope so," Adam said angrily.

	Another officer approached Hoetz and asked if he could speak to him
for a minute. He excused himself and they walked off to one side and spoke
quietly with their heads together.

	"This is a nightmare. It's like Seth all over again," Adam mumbled
as he rubbed his forehead.

	Kane turned into Adam's shoulder and started to cry softly.

	"Oh damn, I'm sorry Kane. I didn't mean to upset you any more,"
Adam said wearily.

	"I'm just scared something's gonna happen to Killian," he sniffled.

	"Nothing is going to happen to Killian," he soothed, "Not if I can
help it," he added under his breath.

	I had been listening to all this as if from a distance, not really
taking it in. I felt a pair of arms slide around me from behind and I
turned awkwardly to find Asher. I turned rest of the way into him and
returned the hug. I needed that right now.

				* * *

	The rest of the night was routine police work, or so Officer Hoetz
told us. They couldn't match the fabric sample at first glance, but that
was inconclusive anyway since so many people had left before the cops got
there. As he said wryly, it's not like we lacked for suspects...a couple
hundred worth. Of course, I had my own list of suspects, with Zack and
Jesse at the top of the list.

	I stayed up the rest of the night thinking, since I was too
unnerved to get any sleep anyway and I had so much on my mind. I had gone
in several different directions, but I seemed to make breakthroughs in
every area. I decided that I was ready to come out at school for one
thing. It was obvious that Gilly and I were through and it might help goad
the killer into making a move. If he got caught, it would be worth any
danger to myself. Or at least that's what I reasoned at 4 AM.

	I also decided to confront Zack once and for all. I was feeling
very reckless and angry by this point, ready for action.

	Last, but not least, I decided to give Asher another chance. Not
that I was ruling out Jake, but it seemed like Asher was always there for
me no matter what. He was definitely a true friend, and isn't that what you
want in a boyfriend?

	With that last thought still playing through my mind, I fell asleep
just as the first rays of light broke over the horizon.

				* * *

	Adam let me sleep in the next morning, which I was very grateful
for. I didn't get up until 1 in the afternoon and I was still very tired,
but there were things I wanted to do today that I didn't want to put off.

	Kane was already downstairs when I came down but then he'd fallen
asleep as soon as we got home last night.

	"Hey, you didn't sleep much last night, did you?" he asked me as
soon as he saw me.

	"No, but you didn't seem to have any trouble," I said as I ruffled
his hair.

	"I was really worn out I guess," he explained.

	"No kidding."

	I wandered into the kitchen, grabbed a pack of cookies out of the
cabinet and poured myself a glass of milk before sitting down at the
table. Kane followed me in and sat down across from me, snagging a few
cookies in the process and dipping them in my milk.

	"Hey, get your own," I protested, "Where's Adam?"

	"He went down to the police station to see about your car. They
impounded it last night."

	"Oh."

	"Asher called this morning and so did Jake."

	"Oh," I said again. "You and Jake seemed to hit it off."

	Kane shot me a funny look and I quickly explained. "I meant as
friends."

	"Oh yeah," he smiled. "He's really funny. So what was on your mind
last night that you couldn't sleep? Upset about the whole car thing?"

	"Partly, but I also made a lot of decisions last night."

	"Like what?"

	"Well, like that guy Dash last night made me realize I had been
avoiding a lot of stuff and its time I faced it instead of pretending it
doesn't exist or whatever."

	"What are you talking about?"

	"Well, I decided to come out at school."

	"Whoa! That's a big deal isn't it? I mean, won't that be really
hard?"

	"Oh yeah. I'm scared, but I'm also tired of pretending to be
something I'm not. I mean I'm not like gonna get on stage at an assembly
and announce it, but I'm gonna stop pretending."

	"I'm also going to confront Zack. I want to do that today, before I
lose my nerve."

	"Is that the jerk from last night? The guy in the Scream costume?"

	"Yeah, that's him."

	"Confront him how?"

	"Just tell him to leave me alone once and for all, and all my
friends. And find out why he hates me so much. We used to be
friends...kinda."

	Kane shook his head. "I think you need some more sleep," he said.

	"Wait, I'm not even done yet," I told him.

	He raised his eyebrows just like Adam does and I almost started
laughing. "I'm going to give Asher another chance. I mean, he's always
there for me when I need him and he's a true friend."

	"What about Jake? I can tell he really likes you too."

	"I don't know what to do about Jake. I mean I like him, but...it's
different with Asher and me. We have a history, you know? I just met Jake."

	Kane smiled. "Follow your heart, Killian. You'll know what's
right."

	"How'd you get so smart?" I asked fondly.

	"I dunno, good genes I guess."

	I laughed and got up to call Zack's house. I waned to make sure he
was home before I drove to his house. I talked to his mom for a few minutes
then hung up, leaving my hand on the receiver, lost in thought.

	"What?" Kane asked after a moment.

	"Zack never came home last night. They've called Jesse and Jesse
says he left him at the party. They split when the cops arrived."

	"What's that mean?"

	"I don't know." Just then the phone rang, startling me and causing
me to jump. The receiver was still in my hand and it clattered to them
floor. I scooped it up and said hello quickly.

	"Killian?" It was Adam, "Is everything ok?"

	"Yeah, I just dropped the phone."

	"Killian, listen, is Kane there with you?"

	"Yes." I said.

	"Good. After we hang up. Lock all the doors and check the windows
and don't go anywhere until I get home."

	"Why?? What's going on? Adam, you're scaring me."

	"I'm sorry, Killian, they just found Zachary Phillips' body
floating in the creek behind the Sheridan house."