This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There may be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.
Author's Comment: This is basically a complete rewrite of Blind Love to almost warrent calling it a different story - the theme is basically the same there's just a lot more to it. I would like to thank Drew for his help, correcting my errors, in use of the British language and for his advice on blindness. My thanks to Jase for editing.
As always your emails are indeed a help in letting me know the stories value. Your comments are always appreciated.
Blind Love II
by Sam Lakes
I realize a few years ago that I was attracted to boys. It was something that sort of bothered me. At first, I thought it was because I worked with lots of other really cute and hot boys more than I worked with cute and hot girls. But as I approached fourteen, even though I met scads of cute girls that thought I were hot, but it wasn't the same.
Don't get me wrong I am not a woman hater -- what's the word misogynistic -- I am not misogynistic, except when it comes to my mother. In fact, my best friend ever is a girl, my cousin to be exact. Her name is Teri Dawson. Teri could stand in front of me naked and I wouldn't get a rise in my pants. I know that `cuz, well, we showered together once.
You cannot tell me that a teenage guy, naked in a shower with a very hot teenage girl -- I don't care if she's his sister - is not gonna get a hardon unless he's queer.
She lives in Melbourne, Australia, or on the other side of the world, but we talk nearly everyday via messenger. She calls me Hawky, but my real name is Hawken, Hawken Sugarstone. She's the only one who calls me Hawky, most everyone else calls me Hawk.
I'm fifteen now and live in Beverly Hills. I'm a blonde, blue eyes, and have just a hint of oriental blood in me. I'm five feet eight inches tall, and fairly slim, but not skinny. My body is nicely toned `cuz I workout doing karate and swimming. We have our own pool and exercise area. I know I'm hot because I'm a model, and everyone tells me I'm hot.
I lived for almost a year with Teri and her family in London while my mom was in rehab. It was the first time I really knew what it was like to have a family. It took sometime to fit in, but I eventually did, thanks largely in part to Teri.
I was going through my sexual realization at the time, and having to cope with my mom being in rehab -- that was a real bummer because it was almost a year not doing what I liked doing; acting and modeling.
You've heard about showbiz moms? Well my mom fits the stereotype to a `T'. From the second day of my life, I have been paraded around on stage or in front of a camera. That's right, at two days old I was filmed as a newborn for a movie.
I guess that's why I was never circumcised; mom wanted me to look natural whenever they pulled me out from between some strange woman's legs. I've seen the movies. God I was ugly!
Anyway, I was a baby model, a toddler model, pre-schooler model, and so on. I've acted in plays, done many commercials, been in hundreds of catalogs, and been an extra in movies I don't know how many times.
You may think `Wow, a model, an actor, how cool your life must be! You must be really popular!' But it was nothing like most people think. I had no friends, Mom didn't believe in it. I had been taught to be professional.
I liked acting only because it was the only time I could be me. When the scene was over, it was back to being the cold, arrogant, don't talk to me `cuz I hate the world kid. When the other kids I was working with would goof off, I'd get pissed because Mom was there, and I was supposed to be working, not playing with other kids. Messed up, huh?
Up until the time I went to London, Mom pretty well controlled every moment of my life. I have a lot of ugly emotional scars from my pre-London life. My life really sucked. I hated the world and nearly everybody in it. As I said, I was a rude, arrogant, and spoiled brat who had zero friends. I pretend I don't want any but that was just a façade. Inside, I am lonely and scared. My Mom was driving me insane, and I believed drove her to needing rehab. That's when I was sent to London, and Mom went to rehab.
Life since London has been okay. Currently, I am the voice of Scamper, Billy, and Purrball, in a new cartoon series that seems to be growing in popularity. I've never had a role in a feature film. It's not that I haven't had the chances or offers - Mom always turns them down. She says I'm not ready for it.
I seem to have a little more freedom. Well, working in a sound studio, it's just me, a director, and a bunch of technicians -- nobody my age. Mom just drops me off; I do my work; she picks me up.
I like my work, my director Trent is so cool, and I make pretty good money, which, of course, goes into a trust. The reason it goes into a trust, apparently, is that she used the money I made for drugs, and my lawyer set up the trust.
I never knew it, but my grandparents have supported me financially my whole life. They even own our house in Beverly Hills. I've never met them. In fact, I never knew about them until I was sent to London. They were my father's parents. I never knew my father -- he died before I was born. My mom never talks about him -- I don't think she liked him or his parents; she doesn't even have a photo of him.
I know I was an unwanted child. And even my grandparents don't want me. That hurts. I don't understand why if they support me financially they don't even want to see me . Mom won't talk about it. She says there are things and people you don't need to know about. I disagree.
When I was in London, I met a guy, Greg Glouster. He is two years older than I am, which me ans he is seventeen now. I had the biggest crush on him and still do. He is so cool and really, into football -- soccer -- our team is Arsenal. I have stayed in touch with him by email. I write him at least once a week but only hear from him about once every two months. I've never told him how I really feel. Duh! I may be gay but I'm not stupid!
Anyway, that gives me the sum total of two friends. I really find it difficult to make friends still and my mom doesn't help I think she likes the fact that I have no friends so I can concentrate on my career. All my education is private, private tutors for everything.
"I think Jack has some good news for us. He sounded really excited over the phone," mom said.
"Well, as long as it's a role in feature film I'll consider it," I said.
"What about you wanting to be a rock star?" she asked.
"Mom, I love singing, but I've got the resume of an actor and model. If I had a major role in a feature film I'm sure it would help and besides as much as I love working with Trent and doing voiceovers that's all I've done since I came back from London."
"Well, I hear Disney is working on a new feature cartoon and maybe you have a part there and you'd be able to sing too."
"I'd only do it if I can be on stage in a Disney TV special," I sighed.
Jack Martin, my agent arrived. "Hello, Laura, Hawk. Great news Hawk! You know you called me last week about a film role?"
"Yeah," I responded half holding my breath because Mom told me not to call Jack.
"Hawk called you."
"Yes. Now, Hawk I found a part that I think you would be perfect for," said Jack, "Daniel Smith, a personal friend and also a writer-director-producer is in the midst of getting finances sown-up for a Independent Film. It's going to be filmed at Shepperton or Pinewood near London. I threw your name into the hat and he's sort of interested just worried about your accent."
Talk about grabbing my attention, he said the magic word `London'. London meant only one thing to me Greg Glouster. Teri lived in Australia now but Greg lived in London. If I got this part, I would get to see Greg! That is if I can get away from Mom. Somehow, I'd find away.
"I can do the accent. I did it for two Christmas commercials last year and I will get a coach," said I said, "And I lived in London for a year. You can still hear a bit of a British accent when I speak. Send your friend a copy of those commercials. Plus when I was eleven I played Oliver Twist."
"Shipped them off today -- DHL," said Jack, "This could be your big break, Hawk."
I smiled trying to hide my excitement at seeing Greg again. "Yeah, sure, what's the part and have you got the script?"
"I knew you would ask and so I emailed you a copy before I left the office. The part is a character caller Trevor Smyth who's fifteen and he's blind."
"Yeah. It's an excellent part you'll like it."
"Is it a bit part? How much?" asked Mom.
"Bit part -- no major. Not sure who the leads will be but it's what Hawk needs," answered Jack.
"How much?" repeated Mom.
"How much? Well, it's his first time and he's an unknown, so it will probably be around fifteen hundred a week for six weeks plus profit sharing plus travel."
"Fifteen hundred! He makes more doing voice-overs and modeling!" Mom said emphatically.
"I'll take it. I want the part. Can you arrange with Trent for me to work from Uxbridge? There must be some studios I can use that have a fast Internet connection. If he will go for it then I want to go to the UK as soon as possible preferably to the part the character comes from so I can work on the accent," I said.
"Hold on champ, this isn't a done deal," said Jack.
Mom glared at me, "Hawk, I think we should discuss this first."
"No. No discussion. I want this part, Jack, I don't care who or what you have to do, get me an interview or screen test, lower my rate if you have to. If you lower my rate, increase my profit sharing. If they see me I will get the part," I said confidently.
I sat in my room staring at the computer screen as it booted up dress only in my royal blue silk boxers.
"Come on hurry up!" I spoke anxiously to my computer. Out of habit, I jumped up from my chair and went over to the door to ensure that it was locked.
It seemed like it took ages for the computer to boot up. I checked my email. Nothing from Greg, only from Jack. I downloaded the script, sent it to the laser printer, and then immediately logged on messenger. Teri my cousin in Australia was online.
"Hey sweetie! It's about time you got online. So how did it go?"
"Well, I didn't tell her. I just cannot -- she'll go ape shit but I will. My be after I do my next gig!"
"I'm going to London to audition out for a movie part!"
"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Hawky that is so great!"
"Yeah and maybe Greg and I can get together. <he's says wiggling his eyebrows>"
A minute passed and no reply from Teri.
"U there girl?"
"Yeah... L "
"Greg moved to Zland two weeks ago. I thought you knew. I thought he told you."
I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. I thought that maybe Greg felt something -- anything for me. "I didn't know. He never told me. I guess I wasn't important enough to tell." I finally replied after a minute or so...
"Hawky, I'm sorry...I don't know what to say."
"Did you ever tell him about me -- you know being gay?"
"No...but just before he left he asked me if I thought you were gay. I laughed and told him that was the funniest thing I'd ever heard."
I stared at the screen for a minute. The last two emails I sent I sort of said that I thought he was my best friend and I really liked him a lot. I was stupidly hoping he'd say something nice back.
The whole reason I'd accepted the part was because I thought that I'd get to see Greg. I had been emailing Greg since I left England. Greg replied sometimes. I thought that we were friends but now figured it was just one-sided.
"Mom's calling me -- gotta go kiss-kiss bye" I typed and then logged out and shutdown my pc.
I got up, grabbed the printed script off the laser printer, and walked over to my bed. "I'm not going to let this get to me. I'm not going to cry," I mumbled to myself as the tears rolled down my cheeks and I collapsed on to the bed.
To be continued