I arrived at the hotel restaurant at exactly 7am, asked for Mr. Masters, and was shown to his table. For some reason I was expecting some man in his thirties or forties but Mr. Masters turned out to be in his early twenties actually I found out later that he was twenty-three. He was clean-shaven with red hair and a generous amount of freckles and wearing a pair of really cool glasses that hid the color of his eyes. He had a nice smile. I thought he looked pretty hot.

"Your guest has arrived Mr. Masters," said the lady who had shown me to his table.

"Thank you Louise. Please have a seat Mr. Sugarstone. Let me introduce myself, I am Cyril Masters your trainer. I would prefer you to address me as Cyril and you go by Hawk or Hawken I believe?"

"Yes sir. Most people call me Hawk only a few call me Hawken."

"And who are the few, your mum?"

"No, my mum is out of my life. Peter, my manager, and my dad call me Hawken if they are being serious. My best friend Alex always calls me Hawken. He says I sound more like a Hawken than a Hawk."

"Ready to order?" the waitress asked.

"Oh, cheese omelet with sausages and a glass of orange juice fresh squeezed if you have it and bottled water, thank you," I said.

"Toast?" she asked.

"None, thank you."

"Would you mind if I called you Hawken? I think I agree with your friend."

"No. Hawken is fine, sir."

"You nervous?"

"Yes, quite ner-vous."

"Don't be, I promise not to bite. So, tell me about your best friend."

"We met on the plane coming over here and we just sort of hit it off we have a lot of common interests."

"So you have only known him since you arrived and he's your best friend?"

"Yes. My first trip over here about three weeks ago we met and talked on the plane and a couple of times over the phone." I missed Alex and knew any second I'd be crying. "Could we not talk about Alex right now? I miss him a lot and I really want to get on with whatever training we have to do."

"Yes okay, well maybe I can meet him someday soon. You know he could be you guest for a day. You know the studio is pretty awesome."

"Yeah, I know," I said then under my breath, "That's not going to happen".

"Why?"

"Why what?" I said rather testily.

"Why isn't it going to happen?"

"Because...he's blind...because his dad would have to bring him and his dad hates me. Satisfied? `appy?"

"So, Alex is blind. Does he use a cane?"

"No."

"Too bad, if he used a cane he wouldn't have to depend on his father to bring him here."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because the ability to travel from place to place safely and efficiently is one of the most important skills a blind person can learn. Using a cane is a traveling tool and the use of a cane is one of the things I'm going to be teaching you."

"You mean if Alex could use a cane he could go anywhere by himself?"

"Yes, pretty much so. I mean you sometimes have to ask people to let you know when the number 49 bus arrives – but how difficult is that? I live in Golders Green and I got all the way here with no problem. I go all over the place."

"You're blind? I didn't..."

"As a bat, with one exception a bat uses sonic waves and I use a cane. But there is more to it than just using a cane and you'll be learning that too."

I don't think I have ever been so excited about learning anything in my whole life. I was more excited about the possibilities and the new doors that would open for Alex.

"Cyril would you teach Alex? I'll pay. Please?"

He smiled, "You must really like Alex."

"He's my best friend and this would open so many doors for him. Oh please! Please! Please!"

"I'll tell you what work hard and when you can get from here to – where does he live?"

"Lingfield, Surrey."

"Using a cane and the skills I teach you without the use of your sight then I will teach him."

"You will? Wow! That's a deal!"

"It's not as easy as you think."

"I don't care – I am going to do it!"

When my food came I scoffed it down and then waited for Cyril.

Cyril gave me a cane to hold and took me to one of the lots that had a street, sidewalks and fake buildings (facades). I was amazed how he got about. He walked along at a pretty fast rate and his cane in constant motion ahead of him. When we got to the lot he hand me a pair of special glasses they would block my vision. I put them on and everything was as-if I had my eyes closed and my hand coving my eyes so no light would come in.

He took my cane and placed it in my right hand, "The hand should grasp the cane as if you were shaking hands with someone, and the index finger and thumb should extend along the handle. Like this. Okay?

"Yes."

"You should hold about waist high and centered in front of your body fairly close to the stomach with the arm resting comfortably against your side," he said moving my arm to the right position.

He moved behind me, "The cane should be moved in an arc back and forth tapping once on the left side and then moved to the right side. The arc should be just slightly wider than your shoulders, so that the cane movement will protect your entire body from hitting any obstacle in the pathway." He held my hand and demonstrated the movement.

"The cane movement should be controlled by wrist movement, not arm motion. When you're walking, the cane should always be in front of the foot that is back, and should hit the ground at the same time that the foot hits the ground. For example, as you step forward with your right foot, the cane moves to the left and hits the ground in front of the left foot. Then as you step forward with your left foot, the cane moves to the right and hits the ground in front of the right foot, and so on," he said as we moved together slowly one step at a time for a few steps.

"This pattern insures that you will always have an extra step before you come to whatever your cane contacts. Any questions?"

"No."

"Good start walking."

I took one step. My instincts begged me to take off the glasses and I'm not going to say that I wasn't a bit scared. I was being very, very cautious and moving very slow.

After I guess fifteen minutes of the snails pace I was keeping, Cyril said, "You know Hawken at this rate we should be visiting Alex in about a year.

I quickened my pace and by lunch time I felt I hadn't done too bad I'd tripped a couple of times and skinned my hand a bit once. I was now able to walk at slightly less than my normal pace and using the cane didn't seem so weird. There were numerous times my body begged me to take just a quick peek after all Cyril wouldn't notice but I managed to squash the urge. Cyril was a fantastic teacher always encouraging and getting me to realize that I had other senses too.

"Ready for an adventure?" asked Cyril.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, I thought we'd go get something to eat. We will be going over to the Administration Building No 1. Now, there will be traffic so keep your ears open. If you get scared or confused stop and let me know."

I only did fair in my opinion. The traffic noise scared me more than a bit and I slowed almost to a snails pace again. Cyril again was a calming influence pointing out what the different sounds were. It helped.

At least three carts passed us and voices from the cart would say `hi' to Cyril and ask if we wanted a ride. He would politely refuse. A forth cart stop right ahead of me and I stopped. It scared the hell out of me.

A voice called to Cyril, "Hey Cyril, you guys need a lift?"

"Hey Jon. What do you think Hawken?"

I shrugged my shoulders and after a few moments Cyril said, "Hawken?"

"I'm thinking..." I wanted to say `Yes' but it seemed like a wimp out and the original adventure was to walk to the cafeteria – it would be so easy to say yes and then I thought of Alex, "No. I'd like to walk."

"There's your answer Jon, but thanks for the offer."

I heard the cart drive off.

"What took you so long to decide?" asked Cyril.

"It would have been easy and I wanted to say `yes' but it would have been a wimp out."

"Well then, let us continue."

Cyril helped me navigate to the cafeteria. He moved ahead of me as we got in the serving line and I just ordered whatever he ordered except I had bottled water. When it came time to pay I realized I had no idea how to tell what was a fiver or ten pound note so I just opened my wallet and asked the cashier to take a fiver. She did I guess and gave me back my change.

I thought Cyril was ahead of me. "Which way now Cyril?" I asked but there was no reply. "Cyril?" For a second I panicked. I had no idea, which way to go and the noises of everyone talking and the kitchen noise has me totally confused.

"Cyril don't play games with me!" I said a little louder and still no reply. I couldn't take off the glasses because I was holding my cane and tray of food.

Carefully I took a step backwards, "Ma'am?" I called to the cashier.

"Yes dear?"

"My friend, can you see him anywhere?"

"No, dear. Would you like someone to take you to a table?"

"Yes, ma'am. If it's not too much trouble."

"One second, dear."

I waited.

"William could you take this young man to a table please?"

"Yes, no problem Alice," said a male voice.

"You must be with Cyril, one of his students, then?"

"Yes sir."

"Here I'll take the tray and you follow."

He took the tray and stood there for a second. "Shoulder." He said.

"Oh, yeah," I said and placed my hand on his shoulder and he lead the way to Cyril.

"Hello Cyril, I think you left this young man behind. There ya go." He put my tray on the table and helped me to sit down. "How's Joe enjoying `is time off?"

"He's doing great he's got almost all the rooms in the flat painted now. He painted our bedroom the other day and the smell nearly killed me. I'm happy the studio put me up at the Marriott for the next couple of days."

I'm glad I had Sheppard's pie because it's not that hard to eat when you can't see. William left and I didn't say a thing. I was pissed at being left behind.

"Well, I see you made it here," he said cheerfully.

"No thanks to you," I muttered.

"Exact-a-tickley, no thanks to me."

"Huh?"

"You made it here on your own without me telling you what to do. That's what it's all about!"

"I don't follow."

"This training. Look if you don't think situations like me leaving you standing there doesn't happen a lot then you're living a fool's dream. The thing is you asked for help and you received it. Sometimes it happens you get disoriented and you don't know what to do. Well, you solved the problem you asked for help. I left you there on purpose because I wanted to see how you would handle it and you did good. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks. Is Joe your boyfriend?" I asked.

There was a few moments of silence, "Never mind, you don't have to answer it's not really my business."

"Yeah he is - is that a problem for you?"

"Is he sighted?"

"Yes."

"Cool...Alex is not just my best friend, he's my boyfriend too - is that a problem for you?" I giggled.

For the rest of lunch we sat and talked about our respective boyfriends. We did several more hours of training and had dinner together. I hadn't taken off my `shades' all day - it had been a great day. I decided I was not going to take my shades off until I could open them and see Alex's face.

I never turned on any lights and even showered in the dark.

I wanted so much to share my day with Alex, but I had forgotten to give him my new number. I had tried calling the Foster's but no one answered and I guess they didn't have an answering machine.

Loneliness descended and I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning I woke up with the phone ringing. I was totally disorientated because I had the shades on but I finally found the phone.

"Hawken?"

"Yes," I said sleepily.

"It's 8:00am," said Cyril.

"Shit! Oh sorry, you woke me up. I'll be right down," I said and hung up.

It took me a few minutes to find my suitcase and to get my clothes on I had no idea what I was wearing. I couldn't find my left shoe. I was beginning to panic. The phone rang.

"Hawken?" Cyril said drawing out my name.

"I can't find my shoe!"

I heard him laughing.

"What would you do if you were blind?" he chuckled.

"I am, I still have on my shades."

"Well, take them off, find your shoe and come on down Joe my boyfriend is here and wants to meet you."

"I can't. I can't take them off. I promised myself I wouldn't take them off." I was on the verge of crying.

"Joe will be there in a minute."

I kept looking for my shoe. There was a knock on the door. I started walking over to the door and forgot my suitcase was in my way. I tripped and fell.

"OW!! FUCK!"

I got to the door and opened it.

"You have got to be Hawken. Joe Michaels, Cyril's mate." I heard the light switch click on. "Ah! One missing left shoe. Come on sit on the bed," he said as he led me over to the bed.

"You all right then?" he asked as he put my shoe on my foot.

"Yes," I mumbled.

He started unbuttoning my shirt, "You got your buttons all mismatched." Then he buttoned them back up properly.

"Thanks."

"You got a brush or a comb?" he asked.

"In the bathroom."

After he brushed my hair he said, "Okay then you want me to lead you or you want your cane?"

"Cane, please. I'm sorry to put you to all this trouble."

"He must be very special – this boy of yours. What's his name?"

I smiled for the first time since he'd been there. "He is. His name is Alex."

"Tell me something special about him."

I told Joe about taking Alex shopping.

When we arrived at the table where Cyril was waiting I apologized for being so late.

"So, what happened? Why didn't you just take of the shades?" asked Cyril.

"I know you're going to think this is stupid but I was about to do just that last night then I thought about something Mr. Ambrose said. All this time I've been trying to bring Alex into my world but I haven't even tried to experience his world. I figure if I could sort of experience things as if I were blind then I would have a better understanding of Alex."

"So, I kept the shades on. I've decided to keep them on until I see Alex. I know I will never totally understand just like Alex will never totally understand the world of sight, but ..." my voice trailed off.

"But what?" Cyril asked.

"Maybe by understanding each others needs and each others failings we can be a better couple and live a happy life. My dads say I have a huge challenge ahead of me. Have you found it so?"

"Depends," said Joe, "how you view things? How do you view Alex?"

"Well, he's my very best friend and I could tell him anything. You know people ask me if I feel sorry for him and maybe my love for him is pity. I've thought about this a lot and I remember the first moment I had these sort of butterflies in my stomach about him."

"I was sitting next to him on the plane and I had my eyes closed and I found I loved his voice, not just because he had an English accent either. It's like there is so much more to him than what you can see. Mean sure he's damn hot but beyond that is the real Alex, smart, kind, funny. We both love to sing and his voice is awesome. But what about you two?"

"I think the only real challenge I've had was trying to get my parents to believe that Cyril does not walk on water! Seriously!" laughed Joe.