This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There may be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.

Author's Comment: Author's Comment: These are the last three chapters. Thanks to all who wrote me and told me they liked this story. Special thanks to Drew for his advice and encouragement. I have thought seriously about writing a sequel to this story. Things like Hawken's career, how it will effect Alex. Will he and Alex forrn their own band, with possibly Cyril and Joe and how will their relationship grow and what about coming out publicly? How will that affect Hawken's career in acting. And what will his decision be? Will their friendship last? Will there be upsets, Etc.???

I suppose if there is a significant number of requests I may write a sequel.


Sam (sam_lakes@hotmail.com)

Blind Love

by Sam Lakes

Chapter 16

It had been a fortnight since my son had spoken in words longer than one syllable to me. He's a stubborn kid just like his Dad – me. We rarely buck horns but when we do neither one of us backs down.

At the time I thought I was right but as week one ended I was beginning to doubt myself so I called my father-in-law and in the course of our conversation I mentioned the prime cause of the upset and stand-off with my son, Hawken Sugarstone.

It seems there is an Alfred Sugarstone that my father-in-law knows. I asked my father-in-law to see if on the off chance Alfred Sugarstone has a grandson called Hawken. A day later my father-in-law called to say yes but the whole family left for Europe.

Of course my grandfather wanted to know why and I told him that Alex seemed to have a crush on this boy, but I didn't really approve of the boy.

"Does Alex love Hawken?"

"He says so but he's only fifteen."

"Ah! Ha! Well, seems to me that I knew a fifteen year old English boy once who had this mad crush on my daughter."

"That's entirely different!"

"Why because he was straight and Alex isn't? It seems to me you have at least one advantage I didn't have – you don't have to worry about your son getting pregnant."

"Does this boy, Hawken love Alex?"

"He's probably just using him."

"Oh, so how is it he's using him? Oh, showing him how to model? Or was it letting Alex learn something new like ride a bike?"

Damn! He'd already spoken to Alex!

"You knew?"

"Yes and I've spoken with Hawken. I knew his father and his grandfather is one of my best friends. John, Alex is growing up. Learn to listen to him and what he says. Hell, listen to him when he talks with Hawken the two are incredible."

So, what I did. My father-in-law told me that they were talking nearly every day using Mrs. Foster's phone. Yes, of course there was all the mushy stuff but it was Alex's whole attitude and looks that changed. He was so happy and outgoing.

From their conversation I knew that Hawken's teacher or mentor was a Cyril Masters so I called him as it seems Cyril is blind and has a boyfriend. Cyril invited me to the studios to observe Hawken in action. I wondered if the apparent friendship was real or whether it was simply an older guy trying to take advantage of a younger boy.

The following day I arrive right on time at Pinewood Studios and was greeted by a young lad in his twenties.

"Mr. Ambrose?"

"Yes, I'm John Ambrose," I replied.

"Joe Michaels. Pleasure to meet you sir. Cyril Masters, my boyfriend, asked me to escort you to where he's working. He apologizes for not meeting you himself but it's easier for me to get around besides he's in the thick of it."

"Thank you." I said as I sat down in the golf cart.

"Hawk does voiceovers for an American cartoon. You'll get to see him in action. He's in one word – awesome. My mate, Cyril, who's the recording engineer, is working with him."

"I thought he was doing a part in a film."

"Oh, he is and Cyril has been working with him since Monday a week ago. Teaching him to use a cane and all. Cyril and I live an hour away we're supposed to be on holiday but Cyril got talked in to working with Hawk. I was a bit ticked-off at first cuz we were planning on redecorating our flat together. Cyril was only going to work with Hawk a few hours a day – well it turns out to be eight hours a day and he's staying at the hotel with Hawk! By Tuesday of last week I was fed up. I was ready to punch Hawk's lights out! I mean my boyfriend is spending all this time with some young kid who I find out Monday night is also gay!"

"So, I turn up here Tuesday ready to give Hawky what for and blimey the next thing I knew was I was helping him. And we're best mates!"

"Really," was the only thing I could think of to say.

"He is so in love with your son Alex. We talk a lot about Cyril's and my relationship. You see Cyril's and my relationship is a lot like what Hawk and Alex's relationship would be. Cyril is blind."

We came to a stop in the cart. "Here we are just follow me. You're going to enjoy this – Hawken puts on quite a show. Mark Peter another mate of ours is helping Hawken. Believe me what he is doing is not easy at all."

Joe Michaels led me into a room with lots of equipment and it seemed rather crowded with people. Through a glass I could see Hawken. He was wearing dark night shades.

"Hawk, hold on a sec," said a young man. He turn to face me, "Hello, you must be Mr. Ambrose. I'm Cyril Masters. Please make yourself comfortable. We will be finished in about half an hour or so. These are taking a little longer than normal."

"Thank you." I could see Hawk in a room on the other side of the room I was in. This was a totally strange environment to me. It was all very interesting watching Cyril Masters. There must have been about twenty other people in the room watching.

"Okay Billy, lets continue," said Cyril.

Watching Cyril and Hawk work was fascinating and entertaining I could see why he had gather a small group of onlookers. Joe Michaels had joined Hawken and the other person.

I would see a clip of a cartoon character drawing then hear Joe explain the character's expression, which Joe would try to imitate. Hawken's hands moved to Joe's face and I watched as his fingers traced Joe's face and expression. After a short time Hawken own face would sort of light up and he'd make a similar expression to Joe and shortly after that you'd hear the voice of the character and see Hawken acting out the small part.

"Perfect! Hawk, we are done! That's it love. Tell Joe Phase 2" said Cyril.

"Thank you gov. It's been a pleasure," said Hawk then looking straight at me, but not seeing me.

I was introduced to Danny Smith, Hawken's producer/director by Cyril.

"Very please to meet the father of the famous Alex Ambrose."

"Famous Alex Ambrose?" I queried.

"Well, Hawken could have finished his training in one day and been good enough for the camera, but Joe had him so enthused about the possibilities of Alex getting the training because the deal was if he could learn it well enough to go to Lingfield Cyril would teach Alex the necessary skills."

"I take it you didn't know this?"


"Well, from there he decided to keep his shades on until he could take them off and see Alex and the word got around about their friendship and his love of Alex. I'm sure you know Hawken is like dedicated to Alex. Oh! Hey he's going to sing! Let's listen!"

"This is for Alex. Hit it!" Hawken said and then began to sing. He had to start over a couple of times because he got somewhat emotional – well so was everyone else including myself.

Hawken's friends kept him occupied while Cyril made a CD for Alex.

"You don't mind being delivery boy?"

"No. You've given me a lot to think about."

"He's a good boy – the best in my opinion." We talked about Alex and I coming up on Friday as a surprise."

I left for the train ride home.

I sat down to dinner with Alex. He was still being cold towards me.

"How was your day?" I said.


"I had a great day! I uh have something for you." I handed him the CD. "You'll like it, guaranteed! It's your favorite singer." My voice of course gave away that it really was something special. "If you like I could put in the player.

"You talked to him! You talked to Hawken!"

"Well, no, but I did see him working. He didn't see me, but you know that. He's doing great. Play the song."

I put the CD in the player and watch my son who of course began to cry.

"I miss him so much Father."

"Well, you call him and tell him you got the song and also that you have a surprise for him on Friday, just don't tell him that we are going to spend the day with him and Cyril, Joe and a bunch of other people"

Alex gave me a hug and then a kiss, "I love you, Father!"

"Go call your boyfriend," I said.

Chapter 17 -

I had two weeks off which I was taking advantage of by painting our flat. My boyfriend has to work because he's agreed to do some Orientation and Mobility training for a teen actor by the name of Hawken Sugarstone – I wondered if that was his real name.

My boyfriend, Cyril is blind and has been since birth. I met Cyril six years ago at a Manchester United football game (soccer for you yanks). Now I am a big MU fan but they didn't have a good year that year – sometimes I tease Cyril I tell him that it's all his fault cuz he went to his first and last MU game – he was clearly for the other team. Anyway, I spent the whole game telling him what was going on. When the game was over he just sat there.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"Nope. I don't like trying to move about when there's a bunch of angry fans trying to get out." – it was only then that I realize that he was blind.

I started laughing.


"I just realized you're blind. I thought you were trying to be really friendly."

"You mean as in trying to pick you up?"

"Uh, yeah."

"I wouldn't think a football game is a good place to pick up guys."

"Hey hundred thousand guys ten thousand are bound to be gay."

"So, you chance getting beaten up nine times in hopes that you'll find that one guy in ten?"

"Well, you know gaydar?"

"Gaydar, hmm, my gaydar is broken," he sad pointing to his eyes, "Anyway I wasn't trying to pick you up I just needed to know how badly your team was loosing," he laughed.

Cyril, his laugh, his voice, and his sense of humor fascinated me and he was pretty hot looking too. We talked for a couple hours and had some fish and chips together – I didn't see him again for two years when I literally ran into at Pinewood.

Cyril is an audio engineer and a damn good one. We were both taking some holiday time for the next two weeks and at the last minute he was asked by one of the directors if he could do some O & M training for a sighted boy who was going to be part a part in a movie.

Cyril reckoned a couple of hours half a day at the most which meant one day of our holiday gone but he would have done the favor and Cyril is one for doing favors because you never know when you may need a favor.

I was expecting him home Monday evening but instead I got a phone call.

"Joe, you have got to come and meet this kid," said an enthusiastic Cyril.

"Well, hello and how are you? Had a nice day? Oh smashing day, Cyril love, I painted the kitchen so we can go the Brighton. Not Joe you've got to meet this kid."

"Oh, sorry, how was your day?"

"I painted the kitchen but I have the feeling we're not going to Brighton as planned."

"Of course we are love...just..."

"...not this year," I said finishing his sentence. I know Cyril loves doing O & M training for the vision impaired especially teens because it gives them confidence and independence but this is different. This kid was sighted so I didn't really understand why he would give up his holiday to do O& M training.

"Thanks love I knew you would understand."

"The thing is I don't. I don't understand. I thought this was going to be a four-hour session. I mean he's sighted!"

"Well, yes but you know I remember the last sighted boy I trained didn't take off his shades for a week because his mate was blind and he wanted to have at least some idea of what his mate experienced."

"Well, that was different was, am and will always be totally in love with you. He's not at least I hope he's not."

"Well, we do get along rather well – but he already has a boyfriend who's blind. He reminds me a lot of you – and he really wants to meet you I think he needs your friendship and guidance. Oh yeah and if he looks half as good as he sounds he's hot."

I had to laugh. "Mate you just want me to come and describe his succulent teenage body, you dirty ol'man!"

"Nooo! Well, can't say I haven't been a bit curious, but no-o-o," he laughed, "Joking aside love, he needs us, not just me."

"All right I'm on my way. I love you."

"Love you too."

So I got my stuff together, lock up the flat and was off to Uxbridge. I was still half asleep sitting next to Cyril when Cyril said, "He's late."

"Probably slept in like any half intelligent person would do," I said.

Fifteen minutes I was on my way up to Hawken's room. He couldn't find his shoe!

When he opened the door I looked up and saw the most attractive boy I think I have ever seen even though he looked a wreck.

I got him sorted out

As we got to the table he said, "I hear you're a United fan. Pity about the Southampton game, still can't win them all."

"So you into football?"

"Yeah, a bit. Not too good at it myself but I like watching it."

"What's your favorite team?"

"Woverhampton," he giggled.


He giggled again, "No actually, I like Arsenal. When I was twelve we lived in London and all my friends were Arsenal fans I went to a game once and it was so awesome – I guess I sort of learned to love the sport then we went back to the States – I tried to keep up occasionally I see a game on ESPN. You know you start talking about soccer where I lived and they look at you sideways." He made a goofy face and said, "Soccer – duh."

He is cute.

As we were walking over to the studios waiting to cross he suddenly says, "Russell Watson is so hot. I saw him in concert when I was fourteen. I wanted his autograph so bad, but I was too shy and scared cuz it seemed a bit queer to me – me being so infatuated with him I'd have probably said something stupid and he would have known I was queer and hated me. That worries me – people hating me because I love another bloke. Do you get much hassle from people about you and Cyril?

"No, our friends are pretty cool with us. We don't really flaunt our relationship. My parents had always been fine with me being gay and they adore Cyril. In the beginning they were like most sighted people tending to look at blindness as a horrible infliction – Cyril's attitude is it's just a bit of an inconvenience sometimes. My parents' attitude have since changed they think he walks on water.

I started calling him Hawky because Hawken is to formal and Hawk is not him `Hawky' seemed to match his cuteness.

That evening as we were going to sleep Cyril asked, "Well, what do you think of our boy?"

"Our boy?"

"You know what I mean. So, you like him then?"

"No. I think it's more like I love, not like I love you, but love like I want to be there for him as a friend but closer – like my parents were for me."

Cyril smiled and then kissed me, "I knew you'd fall in love with him just like me."

I had a great week with Cyril and Hawky – I think we all did and that weekend we invited him to spend the weekend with us – his face lit up like Christmas when I asked him – God! I wish he didn't have those shades on. It's really getting to me – his eyes – wanting to know what color they are like but the little git won't take them off.

Cyril and I were in our room making out when is heard him playing the keyboard. "He plays keyboard?" I stated more than asked but a minute later he started playing one of my favorite song and singing too. What a voice! That ended our snogging session and started a jamming session. Cyril brought out my guitar and we all took turns playing guitar or keyboard and singing. It was great! The weekend was one I will never forget.

Monday was fine but Tuesday was almost a disaster. He had to do some voiceovers and I think he got some things confused that Cyril had said and was having a devil of a time doing voiceovers. Well, Cyril and I got him through all that.

Last night Cyril and I had talked about getting Hawky to record and I supposed Cyril figured this was as good a time as ever and it was time to take a break and have a bit of fun. I went to see if I could get a guitar and maybe a few guys to jam with. Well, I tell you, you say jam session for fun and you'd be surprised how many guys will turn up – I felt like the Pied Piper.

I meet Danny Smith Hawky's director on the way to the recording studio, "Hey, Joe how's Hawky doing on the voiceovers?"

"Awesome, Danny. He just had a rough start, you know teenage pressures and all that. He's got a fantastic voice and Cyril wants to record him and then I think send a CD to his best mate."

"Oh yeah, he told me. He's blind you know, his best friend. Mind if I join you – we're taking a break for an hour. I'd like to hear him."

"Not at all. I think that would make him happy – he thinks you're quote really cool and awesome unquote," I laughed.

How I got the guys in there without Hawky knowing I do not know I guess Cyril was keeping his attention and the headset blocked a lot of the noise. It was a surprise and fun.

Of course the big thing was Alex's father paid us a visit. He was duly impressed.

That evening he called told us what a silly old fool he'd been. He'd almost started crying when he played Hawky's message to Alex. He said he and Alex would arrive around 9:00 at Victoria and that meant they'd be at the studios by 10:30 or so.

"Cool, tomorrow we'll tell Hawken and..." said Cyril.

"Oh! No way! This has got to be a surprise! After all he hasn't shown me his eyes and this is the perfect way to do it!" I said.

"Your being juvenile," said Cyril.

"You just don't like surprises," I said.

"That's true but I just feel this is to important to him to spring on him as a surprise. Just remember surprises sometimes backfire."

"Come on, Cyril what could happen?"

"I don't know. I just don't think it's right."

Cyril finally unwillingly surrendered.

I was like totally excited Friday morning when we arrived at 8 am in the restaurant. When 8:30 arrive and Hawky didn't I got worried. I went to the front desk of the hotel.

"Could you ring Hawken Sugarstone's room and tell him we are waiting for him in the restaurant."

"Oh, he's the blind boy, right?"


"Sir, he left the hotel at seven this morning. He asked for me to get him a taxi to Uxbridge Station." Suddenly, I felt sick as my heart and stomach seemed to switch places.

I walked back to the restaurant. Danny Smith and Hawken's dads and grandparents were there

"Well, is he up yet?"

"Oh, yeah he's up! Just don't say `I told you so'."

"What? Joe what's the matter? What's happened!"

"He's on his way to Lingfield..."

"Damn it Joe, I told you we should have told him! FUCK! He's nowhere near ready to make a trip like that! He's not use to traffic or crossing streets – SHIT! What if he gets lost or freaks out in the traffic!"

"Well, then he'll probably take off his shades and..."

"Oh! Yeah right! If he hasn't taken them off for you do you really think he'll take them off until he sees Alex? Get real! Besides it would probably the worst thing he could do – he's been blind for two weeks – it's a bright sunny day – his optic nerves have gotten use to not seeing and he knows better because I told him that he should make sure he' in a practically dark room."

"What are we going to do?"

"Pray Joe. Pray that he makes it to Lingfield..."

Chapter 18

I had resolved that I would wait until next week for Joe and Cyril to take me to Lingfield. Maybe I wouldn't loose too many of my mobility skills and if I practiced at night after work I'd be ok. I knew that Cyril was right because traffic scares me and crossing the street terrifies me but disaster hit I got a call late Thursday evening after dinner the shooting schedule for the next four weeks would be from seven am until seven 7pm I needed to be in Makeup and Wardrobe by five thirty every morning. We were behind production and would be making up the time on the weekends.

That meant if I didn't see Alex tomorrow I wouldn't see him for a month. It meant I wimped out on my promise give him my surprise. My only option was to asked Cyril or Joe to guide me to Lingfield. I hated imposing on them but it was the only way I could get there.

"Hello, Joe?"


"Joe, I was wondering if you or Cyril could take me to Lingfield tomorrow?"

"Well, Cyril and I had something special we planed doing tomorrow. So, no we can't take you to Lingfield tomorrow."


"Hawky, the answer is no okay?"

"Yes, I understand." I hung up the phone. I started crying

I knew Cyril and Joe would go see Mr. Ambrose and Alex without me but my going there, seemed to mean more not to me or even Alex but to Mr. Ambrose. Mr. Ambrose will see that O & M training is what Alex needs to be free to go and do things he wants to do and not be dependant.

In my song to Alex I said I would give everything I own – if I were to really mean what I sang; if I was to demonstrate to Mr. Ambrose my love for Alex then I didn't see any other choice but to go to Lingfield. I called the front desk and asked for a six o'clock wake up.

Everything seemed to go fairly well until I got to Victoria Station underground. Somehow I ended up outside. The noise of traffic, people rushing by me in every direction I was like a leaf that falls into a stream. I was being carried along with the flow of people. I had no idea where I was confused and totally freaked. The mass of people thinned and then there were none. I could hear traffic moving horns beeping angry motorists yelling at me to get out of the middle of the road. I was right in the middle of the road with lots of traffic. I had no idea which way to go. Do I go left, right, straight ahead? Was I facing the traffic or what? I had no sense of direction. I've never been so scared in my life.

I was about to take off my shades knowing that it was bright daylight and I could possibly ruin my eyesight or something when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Having a bit of trouble, lad?"

"Y-Yes sir, I'm trying to get to Victoria Street Station. I need to buy a ticket Lingfield, Surrey." I was relieved but embarrassed.

"Well, then take my arm and I'll take your there."

"Are you a police constable?" I asked.

"Yes. Police Constable Jennings. Ah! Here we are."

He rapped on the window of the ticket office, "Sorry to jump the queue but the young lad needs a ticket to Lingfield, Surrey. Both ways."

I took out my wallet and got out a twenty-pound note. My hand trembling I handed the money to PC Jennings.

"Still a bit shook up are you?"

"Yes sir. I'm really sorry to be such a nuisance. I was totally freaked. I'm really sorry."

"Ah, don't worry about it lad, by the way, what's your name?"

"Hawken Sugarstone, people call me Hawk or Hawky."

"Hmm. Hawk or Hawky...Hawky's better. You don't look like a hawk," he touched my nose, "You're beak's too small," he laughed. And his laugh and comment got a laugh out of me.

He handed me my change and the ticket. I stuffed the change in my pocket. He took me to get a cup of tea his treat. I told him I was going to see my best friend as a surprise. By the time I finished my tea my shakes has stopped so I guess the tea worked.

PC Jennings took me to my platform. "Now your train will be on the right side should leave in about half and hour. Just go straight ahead."

"Thank you PC Jennings. You're a very nice person."

"Well, the pleasure has been all mine Hawky. You have a good time with your friend."

"I will, sir, bye!"

"Bye, lad."

I turned and walked down the platform a ways and then found a door to go in. The compartment that I had entered appeared fairly empty and I easily found a seat.

I was excited and was daydreaming about meeting Alex and that Mr. Ambrose wouldn't hate me when the train started to move. It didn't seem like half an hour more like five minutes but I didn't care I was soon going to be seeing my Alex. I went back to my daydreaming and I must have dozed off because the next thing was someone was shaking me.


"Ticket please."

I reached in my pocket, pulled out my ticket, and held it up for the man to take.

"Oh dear, you're on the wrong train," he said.

"No! PC Jennings told me my train was on the right platform 8."

"Well, he was right. I believe your train comes into that platform five minutes after we leave. You're on the Brighton train. We should be arriving in Brighton in five minutes. Look lad, it's not your fault. You wait here and when we arrive in Brighton I'll get you on a train to South Croydon. I'm pretty sure your Lingfield train will be on the platform but going the opposite direction. Okay, then?"

"Yes sir, thank you sir," I said dejectedly.

He returned after we stopped, helped me off the train and led me to some stairs – "Here's your pass to South Croydon. Do you need me to take you up and over to the other side?

"No sir I can manage. Thank you very much, sir"

"All right then, next train. 14 stops. Same platform going the opposite direction, okay?"

"Yes sir, next train. 14 stops. Same platform going the opposite direction."

"Right, off you go then."

I successfully navigated myself up, over and down to the other side and walked along the platform when "Wham!!" I was on my butt I felt the warm trickle of blood running from my nose. I thought for a second that I had broken my nose and I prayed that it wasn't. And of course I was sitting in a puddle of water.

"Oh dear! Let me help you, lovie," said a woman's voice, "Here hold this to your nose and I help you get up, you're sitting in a dirty mud puddle. You must have walked straight into that scaffolding. I don't know why they didn't put a cone there to warn you."

I could hear the train coming, "I have to get on this train."

"Me too, lovie. Don't worry I'll help you?"

"Thank you I really appreciate it."

Her name was Margret Thornton, she was on her was to visit her sister in St. John's Woods. When we got to South Croydon she help me off the train and on to the train to Lingfield checking twice that this train went to Lingfield.

My spirits lifted, as I knew soon I would be with my Alex. My love. Of course that was not to be the case...the person who said "Oh yes, definitely he heard them announce that this train went to Lingfield, he was only going as far as Thornton Heath, but he definitely `eard it." Unfortunately, he didn't hear the part where they said the first two carriages went to Lingfield where I wasn't. No, I was in one of the last three carriages, which went to Tunbridge Wells.

Still I was getting closer. I wasn't going to let it get me down and an hour later I got off at East Grinstead and wait for the train to Lingfield. As I sat on a bench waiting for the train to Lingfield I remembered something . East Grinstead was where he and his dad would go shopping. I heard someone sweeping near me.

"Excuse me but it there some place I could get a taxi to Lingfield from here?"

"Right out side the station, young man. Would you like me to help you to a taxi?" said a woman's voice.

"Yes please, I've be ever so grateful."

"'ello, then whot can I do for you?"

"I need to go to Lingfield, please."

"Right you are. My name's Charlie, if you need anyfing."

Off we went. I was starving – I'd skipped breakfast and all I've had was a cuppa.

"Charlie, is there anyplace along the way that has something to eat?"

"There's a bakery right up the road here. Gots some great jam donuts."

"Great, could you buy us four donuts? I'll pay. I'm starving"

I scarfed down my two donuts and soon enough the car stop.

"'ere we are den. Number twenty-free. Nice `ouse!"

I paid Charlie and got out. I'd made it.

"Hawky!" cried Joe.

"Joe? Joe, I made it! I made it on my own! Where's Alex?"

"He's at the station waiting for you with his father and your fathers and your grandparents. I think Cyril's calling him on his cellphone to let him know you're here."

Joe wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. "You gave me such a fright! I love you Hawky, just don't ever do a stupid thing like that again." He let go and held me at arms length, "You look a little worse for wear."

"A little worse for wear! I get to London – no problem – pretty cocky I am until I get to Victoria Station. I end up in the middle of the street alone with cars zooming about, people yelling at me to get out of the middle of the road! I was scared shitless! Then Thank god PC Jennings came along – if he hadn't come along I'd still be there or worse dead!"

"PC Jennings helps buy a ticket, buys me a cuppa, and takes me to the platform say my train is on the right and should be leaving in half an hour. What he doesn't tell me is my train doesn't arrive for another ten minutes. I get in the train on the right and end up in Brighton. Okay back to South Croydon one minor problem. In Brighton they have the scaffolding with a ruddy big sign on it says "Don't move this scaffolding as it's here so Hawken Sugarstone can run into this bar with his nose." Course I don't see it so the next thing I know is I'm on my arse in a dirty mud puddle. Anyway one more wrong train and I took a taxi here. I did make it"

I heard a car pull up.

"Why the FUCK did you do it, Hawken? Do you know you put my job and Joe's job on the line! If you had been killed or maimed you think we'd still have a job? I am so pissed. I told you, you weren't ready. You've put all of us through hell and that includes Alex, John, your dads, your grandparents. It's been a living hell not knowing if you'd make or were you in some hospital somewhere...Hawken, I love you dearly, if something had happened I couldn't live with myself. Why Hawken? Why did you do it?"

"Last night, I was given the new schedule I had to be on call for the next four weeks...I called you last night I thought – I thought that maybe you would guide me here but Joe said no..." I said, "He said no way that you and he had something special planned...I knew you used up you whole holiday to train me – I just figured that you want one day way from me – I know I'm a nuisance...but I didn't have a choice I had to come here. I had to prove to Mr. Ambrose that I understood Alex's world and that I love Alex that I care about him that I'm not a bad person and nor is Alex. I thought if I showed Mr. Ambrose I risk everything even my life for Alex he might love me a little and trust Alex and me. I just want him to say I'm not a bad person to say I'm good. I love Alex. I want to be with him my whole life. The song I sang – I meant it. I give everything I own!" I was crying.

Two hands behind me were placed on my shoulders and they turn me around. Mr. Ambrose took me in his arms and said quietly, "Will you ever forgive and old fool's stupidity? I am so ashamed for not trusting you and not believing you and not believing my own son. I love you Hawken and I do trust you. I think you and Alex deserve a good life together."

Alex came over and hugged me and I gave him a kiss, which he returned. Next Cyril and Joe came over and giving me a kiss each on the cheek joined the hug. I heard another car pull up.

Dad, Peter, my grandparents and Danny Smith came over and hugged Alex and I.

"Is the house dark inside?" I asked after a few moments.

"If we pull the curtain closed it's very dim," answered Mrs. Foster.

"Oh, hi Mrs. Foster. Can you make the house dim because I want to take off my shades and the first face I want to see is Alex's face."

"Can I be second?" asked Joe.

"I swear Joe sometimes you act like a two year old!" exclaimed Cyril.

I turned around to Joe, draped both of my arms around his neck and pulled him in and softly kissed his lips. I think he was a little surprised.

"Excuse me but did I just hear you kiss MY boyfriend?" asked Cyril.

"Yes," I giggled, "I thought I'd kissed him before I took my shades of in case he's ugly and I'm too revolted later."

For some reason that struck everyone as really funny and they laughed.

We went into the living room and I asked Mr. Anbrose to position Alex in front of me. He did and then the told me that the room was dimly lighted. I reached up and started to remove my shades.

"No, wait. There's something I want to do first," I said softly to Alex.

"Blimey! Get on with it!" exclaimed Joe.



"Shut up," laughed Danny Smith.


I reached up and started feel his face. I could sense the hairs of each eyebrow, the few smaller hairs between his eyebrows, the shape, the size of each eyebrow, the slight difference between the left and the right. It was so fantastic. It was like I was seeing his face through my fingers – it's hard to explain it was just so different.

"You're so beautiful," I said. I felt a slight difference in temperature. I giggled, "You blushed."

"Yeah," he replied.

I reached up to my shades, "I'm taking off my shades." I took off my shades and waited for my eyes to adjust slowly things came into focus and I was once again looking at the most beautiful boy in the world. "You're still the most beautiful boy in the world." I lent in and we kissed.

"Okay, okay my turn," said Joe.

I turned around and looked at Joe. He was nothing like what I had imagined he was better. He had jet black hair and light blue eyes – he wasn't slim but he wasn't heavy and not muscular – he was smiling which showed up two cute dimples in his cheeks he had a wide mouth but not unbecoming –all in all I thought he was a babe. If I had to guess is age I would have guess he was 20 not 25.

I felt a smile grow as I thought of what I was going to say then I giggled.

"What?" he said.

"Cyril, it's a good thing you're blind..." Joe's mouth dropped and a hurt expression appeared on his face like he hadn't expected me to say that. I giggle and started laughing, which immediately brought a smile to his face.

"You bastard!" he laughed.

I laughed.

"Well, Hawken, he's beautiful enough for me. Even though I can't see with my eyes," Cyril said with just a hint of anger in his voice.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you. I was just joking."

"Oh, so that's what these last two weeks were a joke!"

"No, it was never a joke. It was the worst time of my life and the best. It was the worst because I was away from Alex. It was the worst because I thought Mr. Ambrose hated me. I was the worst because I realized my mom has never loved me – I was never anything but her pretty boy; I was her little whore that she could exhibit and sell to anyone who wanted to buy my cute face to sell their clothes, or their cereal. It was the worst because she made me feel like a cheap lowlife faggot that should have never been born."

I wiped my tears on my shirt.

"But it was the best time of my life because Alex knows I love him, because Mr. Ambrose doesn't hate me. It was the best time of my life because I met Peter, Tony, and my grandparents. It was the best time because I got a wet mop in the face. It was the best time because PC Jennings save my life and because I walked into a scaffolding, and I got on the wrong train. It was the best time because Alex will get O & M training. It was the best time because I got to sing - not at the studio at your flat with you and Joe and have fun with two friends. It was the best time because I was a part of your life for a weekend. I got to hear you talk in loving whispers, and kiss and giggle and laugh and argue and make up and it gave me hope that someday Alex and I could have a life like yours and Joe's. But most of all the last two weeks was the best because of you Cyril – you are my hero. You helped make all the good in my life happen."

No one spoke for a few moments.

"Well, I guess that answered your question, Cyril," Joe giggled.

"Yeah, I think so." He shook his head and smiled.

"Well," I said taking Alex's hand, "If you all will excuse us. I came here to be with Alex." And that said I left with Alex to his room.

The End