This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There may be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.
Author's Comment: I'm going to be posting one chapter a week. WRITE ME!!!
by Sam Lakes
"Alex!" my father called, "Mrs. Foster will have tea ready in twenty minutes. Okay?"
"Yes sir." I answered. I was tired. I suppose it was jet lag. We just returned from our yearly holiday to America. We always visit my mother's parents.
I barely remember my mother she died of cancer when I was five. Since that time it's just been me and my Father and Mrs. Foster our housekeeper. We normally travel first class when we go to visit my grandparents in America. But this time we didn't because Father booked our tickets too late.
I love my Grandfather he is so cool. I remember I went to see him when I was ten. You have to realize my Father loves me very much but he is overprotective of me. When I was ten, I had never been swimming.
I was sitting on a couch in their living room totally bored. Grandfather comes along swoops me up in his arms and carries me to his swimming pool.
"Do you know how to swim?"
"Well today you are going to learn," he said and with that he jumped into the pool with me.
At first I was terrified. I thought I was going to die. I was screaming and crying and pleading with him not to let me go. He didn't.
"Alex, I love you. I never want to let you go but at the same time I can't stand to see you sitting around bored and unhappy. So I am going to teach you how to swim. Besides, you are just a little chubby and you need the exercise."
In a few hours he had taught me to float and to tread water.
Father arrived back with my grandmother and freaked! He was yelling and screaming at my grandfather and I really got upset with him. I knew my grandfather meant well and would have never let anything bad happen to me.
They were both arguing so bad that they never noticed me sneaking away. I found the diving board and walked gingerly out to the end.
"Father, SHUT UP!" I screamed. There was silence.
I didn't realize that the diving board was at the deep end but I soon found out as I jumped off the end and sunk to the bottom. It sort of scared me a lot but I remembered what my grandfather had kept stressing. Don't panic.
I allowed the buoyancy of my body to carry me to the top where I took in a huge gasp of air and then started treading water like I'd been practicing.
"Father! Look at me! I'm treading water!"
The next thing I heard was a splash of water and then my father had me in his arms. "I'm sorry Alex. I'm sorry for yelling at your grandfather. I guess I should believe in you a lot more."
"Its okay, Father. I trust Grandfather. We are best mates!" I said to Father, "Father? You are still wearing your suit!"
He was too. It was an Armani. He just laughed and said seeing me in the pool swimming was worth a hundred suits.
By the time our holiday was over I was doing really well at swimming. Grandfather said I was a natural and told Father that I should keep it up. For the first time in my life I felt proud of myself.
I kept up my swimming and even joined the swimming team. Private swimming pools are a rarity in England. But we aren't exactly poor and so Father had a junior Olympic heated pool built. It also has lane ropes so I can keep in the same lane and the ends of the pool have rubber cushion so I don't scrape and arm. I don't really need them now because I know exactly how many strokes it takes me to get from one end of the pool to the other. Nearly everyday I swim.
Grandfather was right. It keeps me in shape. When I was ten I was a chunky kid. Well, all right I was fat! Now I'm about 5'8" and weight about nine and a half stone. I'm told that I have light brown hair and blue eyes. I have no idea what that means because I have no sense of color. I am congenitally blind that means I've been blind since birth.
I use to go to a boarding school until I was thirteen. Now I go to a private day school. School is okay and the teachers are pretty nice and make exceptions for my lack of sight.
I thought I was going to get out of art class. Well, you know my teacher, Mrs. Conners did make an exception for me -- but she didn't let me get away from appreciating art. While everyone else was painting and such I was learning pottery and sculpting.
I really liked her class and her. I felt very close to her.
We went on a field trip to a gallery in London she had one of her artist's friends take me around all the sculpting exhibits and I felt all the works. I got really embarrassed on one piece. It was a statue of a naked guy. I was running my hands over it and I came to his penis and was a little surprised but continued to feel it. Her friend laughed.
"Alex, I wish I had a camera just to capture the look on your face," he laughed.
I could feel the blood rushing to my face. It really upset me though as it brought back bad memories. I turned away from him and refused to feel any other statues.
"Alex, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Come on there is some other stuff I want you to see."
After ten minutes of trying to get me to continue he gave up. I refused to talk to him from that point on other than to say, "No. I want to go. I want to leave."
I was angry and upset and most of all scared of what others would think or say. I asked Father to write me a note to excuse me from art to give to the headmaster. I just told Father that it was just a stupid class to be in for a blind kid.
Mrs. Conners was not about to give up on me for some reason she had taken to me and considered me a challenge that she was not going to give up on without a fight.
I was called out of class to speak with her. She had personally come to my math class and asked Mr. Conners to excuse me. He being the good husband agreed and so I was escorted to her empty classroom.
"Mr. Saunders told me that you have asked to drop out of my class. May I ask why?"
"Well, it's stupid, isn't? In case you haven't noticed I am blind," I said sarcastically.
"Yes, I think we established that the first day. I also think we established that it didn't make a difference. As I recall for the last few weeks you were enjoying class and created some really nice pieces."
"Well, I don't enjoy it. I was. I was pretending," I lied, "Just trying to impress you. But I hate it."
"This would have anything to do with the field trip, would it?"
"No!" I blurted out.
"Tony told me what happened."
I blushed. What had he said to her?
"Bet you had a right good laugh over that," I said angrily, "May I go now?"
"No, you may not. You see Tony is a really good friend of mine -- he's my brother too. He's a fantastic sculptor. He was impressed with your work and he was the one who suggested that I organized a field trip to the gallery."
"The main reason he did this was he wanted to meet you."
"Well, he seems to have gotten what he wanted. May I go now?"
"No actually, he didn't. He called me last Friday night in tears. My brother tends to get a little emotional sometimes -- I guess it comes with the territory -- he's gay. When he laughed at you he didn't expect the reaction he got and then he started worrying if he may have done something else."
"Alex, did he do anything to you that you didn't like."
He is gay. That was a surprise. I was actually having a great time until the point when he laughed. I thought he guessed I was gay because my hand rested on the statue's penis for a bit longer than it should have -- I thought that's why he laughed. I felt ashamed of being gay. It's bad enough being blind but blind and gay. How could anyone love me?
"No." I responded.
"Alex, anything you say to me will stay with me -- I wouldn't even tell my husband. But it I really need to know what happened. I promise you nobody will get into trouble. Unless you want them to."
"He didn't do anything wrong. It's just me I realized how stupid it was for me. I'm just wasting my time. I like you and your brother but you're just wasting your time with me. I'll never be an artist. Tell your brother I appreciate his efforts but they are just wasted and I'm sorry if I cause him to worry. Can I leave now?"
She escorted me back to math class. My day was ruined. I know she didn't believe me. She probably figured her brother molested me or something. I was a wreck by the time I got home. Father asked what was wrong and I told him I was tired because I overdid swimming that day.
I skipped school the next two days. I was just so depressed. When Father arrived home at the end of the second day he wanted to know why I had skipped school. I lied and told him I had been feeling a little sick like I had the flu coming on. He took my temperature the next morning and it was normal so I had to go to school.
Everything was all right until I got to math class. I found it really hard to concentrate or pay attention to Mr. Conners. I wondered if Mrs. Conners had talked to him. I wondered about Tony, Mrs. Conner's brother. Did he get in trouble?
William Jenkins was my escort to English as we were leaving Mr. Conners said, "Jenkins, give this note to Mr. Whyte. I'll be escorting Ambrose to class after we have a chat."
I heard William leave and Mr. Conners walked over and closed the door.
"Alex, what's wrong?" he asked quietly.
"Nothing sir. I was just feeling like I was coming down with the flu."
"Alex, don't lie," he said softly, "You hardly paid any attention in class today. I know you quit art class and I know my wife was very upset about it."
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset her. She's a good teacher. I just didn't see the point. She's not in trouble is she?"
"Well, no, but it doesn't look good when a student asks to be dropped from class regardless of the reason."
"Oh." I really liked Mrs. Conners.
"My wife thinks the world of you. There are not many students that touch her heart. You do. She feels she has failed you as a teacher."
"Oh." It never occurred to me that she would feel anything for me.
"You are an amazing person Alex Ambrose and I think every teacher on staff would agree with me."
That afternoon I walked back into art class. After class ended I asked Mrs. Conners if her brother had an email address. She said he didn't.
"Does he have a phone number?"
She said he did and asked why.
"Mrs. Conners he didn't do anything to me. In fact he was a lot of fun to be with I was just feeling out of sorts -- I get that way sometimes. Sometimes I wish I had sight. Anyway, I just want to assure him that it was nothing he did."
She gave me his number.
"One last thing, you're my favorite teacher and I'm sorry if I caused you any upset."
I didn't expect her reaction. She got up from her desk, came over to me and hugged me. "Oh Alex, just seeing you coming back to class took everything in me not to do this in front of the whole class," she said sort of emotionally.
We stood there for a few moments in an embrace then I giggled.
"What?" she asked.
"I hope your husband doesn't get jealous. He's much bigger than me."
"Hmm, you know he'd probably be jealous of me because I think he loves as much as I do."
Wow! That was a surprise. Mr. Conners loves me. "Mr. Conners likes me?"
"My husband adores you. But that just between you and me."
When I arrived home from school I called Tony.
"Yes, is this Alex?"
"Look mate I am really sorry ..."
"Tony you didn't do anything. It was just me. Are you really gay?"
"My sister told you?"
"Yes, she said you were worried that you may have done something."
"I was. I uh,"
"You didn't do anything. It was me. I uh, I" I couldn't say it. I could just say that it was because I was gay. I couldn't say anything so I hung up and started crying.
A minute later the phone rang. I knew if I didn't answer the housekeeper would.
"Hello," I said still crying.
"Alex, it's all right."
"No! No it will never be all right!" I was sobbing.
"Alex, please! Please listen to me I've been where you are."
"Oh, right! You're gay and blind?"
"You know why I was so worried. Because when I saw you I thought you were so hot. It was all I could do not to touch you, hold you hand or kiss you. When you got upset I thought maybe you had some sixth sense and knew how I was feeling!"
"Yeah! Like you could read my mind. You can't can you?"
"No," I half laughed.
"Gawd blimey! I kept thinking. He is soooo gorgeous. He's only fourteen I'm ten years older than him. Mustn't touch! Mustn't touch!"
"I swear, Alex, I was not expecting you to look like you look. I expected so fat ugly spotty faced kid. I knew Maureen adored you but her and my taste is almost always different -- until you came along."
It was the first time anyone said I was hot looking especially, another guy. I blushed.
"Yeah. I just never had anyone say I was, uh, hot."
Tony and I talked for about and hour and a half. It was good taking to him. I think I ended up with a bit of a crush on him.
I talked with Father about what had happened. Father already knew I was gay because he found out when I was thirteen. That was not a pleasant experience. I think he worries about me.
I'm fifteen now. Tony has a boyfriend/lover but we are good friends. I don't have a lot of friends, I'm not out publicly, and none of my friends suspect. There is no one that I like that much anyway.
As I said we've just arrived back from holiday with my grandfather. He and Father argued again this year but this time Father won sort of. Grandfather wanted to take me water skiing. Father said he would drive the boat and tow Grandfather but Grandfather had to be blindfolded. If Grandfather freaked out then Grandfather agreed to find something else for me to do.
Father got me into the boat.
"Sit here Alex. In front of you is the steering wheel. On your left is the throttle. When you push the throttle forward we go forward -- the further forward the faster we go. Pull it back to go slower."
"Okay," I said hesitantly,"I'm driving?"
"Yes. Don't worry. I'm right here." Father said it with so much confidence that from being scared I went to being excited.
"Father, you ready" Father asked my grandfather.
"Let's go!" said my grandfather.
Father was standing behind. He put my left hand on the throttle and right hand on the wheel and covered it with his hand holding on with me.
"Okay. And by the way, Alex is driving, Father," and with that he shoved my left hand forward on the throttle.
We were off and towing grandfather. He took his hands off of my hands.
"Father! What do I do?" I was scared.
"You're doing fine Alex move your hand a little to the left. Great! You're doing bloody well!"
It was great! I could hear the roar of the engine and the sound of the water as we sliced through it. I could feel the motion as we sort go bounced along smoothly. The wind rushing by my whole body like we were doing a hundred miles an hour. I can't explain how awesome it felt to be doing this with my Father.
"How am I doing Father?"
"Fantastic!" he yelled over the noises.
"How's Grandfather doing?"
"The old man is doing fine but it's time to teach him a lesson." Father laughed. "Turn the wheel just a bit to the right. That's it. A bit more. Bang on! Hold it there. We are going to cross our own waves so it's going to get bumpy so don't freak. Okay?"
"Okay!" I laughed.
Soon enough we hit our waves -- somehow I managed to keep it steady.
"HA HA! Pull back on the throttle!"
Father was overjoyed and laughing.
Father pulled in the towing rope and the best part was he guided me back to pick up Grandfather.
We spent the rest of the day with me driving the boat and Father or Grandfather being my eyes. It was really the best holiday I can ever remember.
And I was sad to have it end.
I never thought I'd ever meet anyone who I really liked and who would really like me. That changed on my way back home.
His name is Hawken Sugarstone. He was acting like he was blind when we were first introduced but I began to suspect he wasn't because every time I would get on the subject of him being blind he'd never answer any question and always change the subject. I finally asked him what his favorite color was and he said `Blue like your eyes' I knew he wasn't blind and I was a little pissed off, but I didn't say anything. I loved the sound of his voice. It seemed magical.
Father was really pissed because Hawken's mother told Father that Hawken was just acting blind because he fancied himself as an actor. Hawken admitted his guilt and I could tell that he meant it and was truly sorry but before I could say anything he left.
After he left Father made a nasty comment about him.
"I don't care what you think Father. I think he really wanted to be my friend." Then I used one of his favorite phrases, "People make mistakes sometimes that's no reason to hate them." I guess a few tears escaped from my eyes because he didn't say a thing. He knew I was upset more with him than I was with Hawken.
It was less than fifteen minutes before I heard Hawken's beautiful voice again. I could feel Father's tenseness as Hawken made a deal with the man behind us. He planned to sit behind us the rest of the trip despite my father's rough words and less than friendly attitude.
He started apologizing. He must like me. I mean the effort to do that. I don't think I could ever do that. I asked him if he really was an actor. He said yes and I wondered if I could trust him even then. I wanted to trust him. Surprisingly, some lady stopped and asked him if he was Hawken Sugarstone. He had told the truth. I told him I wanted to be his friend and then in these really funny voices he told me in a lot of words what I wanted to hear and I guess what Father wanted to hear.
Father offered to swap seats, for the rest of the trip we talked and giggled and I fell in love with him. I've read a lot of gay love stories on the net but I never thought it would happen to me. I don't know if he's gay but I know that he likes me because as we landed he held my hand and he want to come and visit me next week. If I knew he was gay I would have kissed him goodbye.
When we left it felt like I really left part of me behind, my heart.
My drive home was mostly quite excepting a few sniffles from me.
"Alex, I know you lost your heart to him. I don't know how to say this so that it won't hurt but if he's anything like his mother you probably won't hear from him again and if you do it will be to he was just feeling sorry for you."
"No, Father. I can't believe that. I won't believe that. Father he was crying as we were landing. He was trying to hide it but I heard him. And he was holding my hand," I was crying as I told Father.
In my heart I knew Hawken love me. I would not believe anything else.
When we got home the answering machine was beeping and as Father cleared the messages everyday. I went to the machine and played the message.
It was Hawken talking in his Scamper voice; "Hey Alex I knew you wouldn't be there and I just want to leave you a message to show you that you're my best friend. And to welcome you back home. I'll call you later. Promise! Promise! Promise!"
I had a smile on my face that wouldn't go away. Ten minutes later the phone rang.
"Hello," I said excitedly.
"Is this the Alex Ambrose residence?"
"Yes, Hawken. Tis I."
"Tis you? Tis I here. Hey. Did ja miss me?"
"Nah!" I laughed.
"Ah! My heart! To be spurned by my best friend! Wait while I shed a tear!"
"Well, I miss you. I've never had a best friend before. Well, not one as best as you."
For the next half an hour we talked. Well to be honest we just said stupid stuff, nonsensical stuff that made us just laugh.
"When will you know your schedule?" I asked.
"Jack said he would definitely call on Monday. But sometimes he emails me. Oh shit!"
"What?" I asked.
"Mom has my laptop. Look I'll call you back in a bit. I have to get my laptop."
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" he said and then hung up.
I waited all day for him to call back. He never called. I cried myself to sleep.
To be continued -