WARNING:

This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There may be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.

Author's Comment: I appreciate your e-mails. When I started writing this story I had no idea where it would go - there were two boys one called Hawken the othe Alex. It went no where for over a year then as I sometimes do I read over this fragment of a story I wrote six chapters then stopped I only posted five. Why? Because I realized I knew nothing about being blind or blindness but thanks to the help from my friend Drew I decided to actually find out more about blindness and as a result of that have amended chapters 1 through 6. My research including talking with and emailing some gay blind guys have definitely given me more insight and understanding if the character Alex Ambrose. The story continues and my hope is that chapters 7, 8 and onwards you the reader gain a better understanding of blindness and prehaps more compassion for those individuals who are visually impaired be they gay straight or bi.

LAF,

Sam (sam_lakes@hotmail.com)

Blind Love

by Sam Lakes

Hawk My great-grandfather's, on my mother's side of the family, name was
Hawken Swenson. Which sounds fine. But Hawken Sugarstone just doesn't sound right
to me. Hence, I go by the name 'Hawk'. Actually, everybody has always called
me 'Hawk'. I think my father started it all, probably in hopes that I'd be his
ideal son or something. That's what my mom says. She says I look like him
but I've seen a few pictures of him and I don't think I look like him at all.

He wasn't ugly in fact he was quite handsome.

I don't remember my dad. He died when I was three.

Sometimes I am a goof I had been reading a script for a film and had been
acting it out since I had arrived at the airport. I love acting. Anyway one
of the parts I had been practicing was that of a blind boy. To Mom I was
just being me a rather eccentric, weird teenage kid. I had been in some
commercials and a few plays and this trip was my 'big' chance at breaking
into films. At least that's what my agent told us. So when I met my mom at
the airport with a white cane she just rolled her eyes and said nothing. I
carried my charade even to the point of taking the aisle seat. You know if
I'm blind what's the point of having a window seat.

When the Flight attendant brought our before takeoff drinks she reached
across in front of me and handed my mom her drink then proceeded to try to
hand me my drink but every time the drink was almost in my hand I would
move my hand. I think the Flight Attendant was getting a bit frustrated
until I asked, "Ma'am, would you have any Braille magazines?"

"Hawken!" blurted my mom.

"Mom! The teachers want me to practice my reading. I know you hate me for
being like this but you just have to learn to accept it! I'm blind.
Twenty-three operations and nothing!" I waved my hand dramatically in front
of my face. "Nothing. Flight Attendant, could I please have my drink," I
said politely as I held my hand out. I let her place it in my hand, as I
knew I was pushing the envelope with Mom.

I turned my head and looked a Mom then leaned over and kissed her in the
cheek.

"I swear one of these days you're going to put yourself into an
embarrassing situation and I am going to love watching you squirm!"

I giggled, "Mom what could happen? I really want this part. It's a part
that will get me noticed." I sat there staring ahead and wondering what it
would really be like to be the character I was hoping to play. What could
be beautiful about being blind? I was lost in my thoughts not even
realizing that we were now in the air heading towards London. What if I
didn't get the part? I have read the script a hundred times and there were
parts in the script where I got so into it that I was really crying. I was
just thinking about that part how would I ever get through that part. I
could feel my warm tears beginning to flow then suddenly I felt a hand upon
my shoulder. I quickly removed my glasses and wiped away my tears feeling
slightly embarrassed.

"Sorry, I was thinking about something sad," and forced a smile.

"You have beautiful eyes. I think that happens to all of us," she smile
kindly, "Here this will cheer you up." She handed me a very plain notebook.
"There's a man and his son in coach. They said it would be fine for you to
have this for the flight. It's a magazine in Braille."

I looked at the book in my lap then over to my mom. "Told you so. So, what
are you going to do now?"

"It's not funny..." It really wasn't funny. I sat there trying to gather my
courage to go return the book. Praying that it was the man's book not his
son.

"Ma'am," I said to the flight attendant as she walked by.

"Yes, dear."

"I-I can't read this...I-I was kidding I can't read Braille...could you
please return this to the man?" I couldn't look at her I was so
embarrassed. "Tell him thanks..." I muttered.

"Sure, it's no problem," she said taking the book from me as I slouched
down in my seat.

I looked over at Mom. She had a definite smirk on her face.

"Happy?" I muttered. She smiled and continued reading her book. I learned
back and closed my eyes trying to decide if I should carry on this act this
pretense. I must have been convincing enough to fool the flight attendant;
the question was could I convince the director I was the right person for
the part.

Moments later I felt a hand on my shoulder and a man's voice spoke, "Hello,
I'm John Ambrose. My son, Alex has asked me to tell you that he would be
happy to help you with learning Braille. Is this your mother?"

My mouth moved but nothing came out. I nodded my head like a fool. I know I
was blushing. How was I going to get out of this? Well, Mom got her wish!

Sorry - it's sort of short but I have to leave you with a bit of a cliff-hanger. Sam.