WARNING:

This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There may be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.

Author's Comment: I appreciate your e-mails. When I started writing this story I had no idea where it would go - there were two boys one called Hawken the othe Alex. It went no where for over a year then as I sometimes do I read over this fragment of a story I wrote six chapters then stopped I only posted five. Why? Because I realized I knew nothing about being blind or blindness but thanks to the help from my friend Drew I decided to actually find out more about blindness and as a result of that have amended chapters 1 through 6. My research including talking with and emailing some gay blind guys have definitely given me more insight and understanding if the character Alex Ambrose. The story continues and my hope is that chapters 7, 8 and onwards you the reader gain a better understanding of blindness and prehaps more compassion for those individuals who are visually impaired be they gay straight or bi.

Sam (sam_lakes@hotmail.com)

As always I look forward to any comments.

Blind Love

by Sam Lakes

Chapter 7

We returned from breakfast with everyone in a somber mood. I had the feeling I had done something wrong and so as not to possibly make the situation worse I kept quiet.

“Hawken, let’s take a walk,” said John.

“Yes sir.”

We walked in silence for a bit and finally John spoke.

“I think you need to concentrate on your acting career. I know you like Alex, but I don’t want to see him hurt any more than he has. I want tomorrow to be the day you begin your new life, just stay so busy with your acting and I want you to forget about Alex. Just let him go.”

“No! I love Alex! No!”

“YES! YOU’VE HURT HIM ENOUGH! DO YOU THINK BEING BLIND IS LIKE CLOSING YOUR EYES AND BUMPING INTO THINGS?” John shouted.

I hurt Alex? I was shocked and John was scaring me. I almost expected him to hit me. A few hours ago everything was fine – I tried to think what I had done but my mind was blank.

John grabbed me and was shaking me, “WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BE BLIND, HAWK? ANSWER ME!”

“I-I don’t know! I don’t know. I’m sorry! Please…”

“That’s right, you don’t know! And what pisses me so much is you are so self-centered – that you’ve not even bothered to ask or tried to find out. I’m not going to stand by and let you upset my son, build his hopes up and dreams and then leave him with nothing, acting as if his feelings don’t mean shit!”

“Your mom is packing your things. When we get back I will take you and your mother to the train station in East Grinstead and if you have any real love for Alex you’ll just leave and not hurt him any more than you have.”

I nodded. What else could I do? I had somehow upset Alex. I couldn’t understand. I was in shock.

John was right, Mom had things packed, in John’s car…I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

The whole trip to London I stared out the window. At first I was angry with Alex – I may have done something to upset him but I couldn’t imagine I would have done something that bad – bad enough that we couldn’t have talked it out. And the more I thought about that the more illogical it became.

Alex was fine at breakfast. I had gotten the call from my agent Jack saying there was no way Alex could audition for the part because there were no photos of him and he had no acting history. He wasn’t disappointed, I even offered to let him go in my place and he said no it would be too scary for him.

The only other thing that happened at breakfast was I had finished and I had to go to the restroom so I got up and left and before I turned to go into the restroom I saw Alex talking to me. I ran back to the table.

“Alex, sorry, I was going to the loo and turned to have a look at you and saw you were talking to me but I was back there, I ran back here to tell you I was back there.”

“Oh, well, good thing too!” he giggled, “cuz I just said ‘I love you’ and I was wondering why you didn’t say anything back. So, now you’re here I’ll say it again. I love you.”

“I love you too and I’m going to the loo.”

I tried to think when it was that things changed as we pulled into Victoria Station.

Something wasn’t right. John’s tirade was overacted and he calmed down too fast. Also Mom has hardly said a word. She would normally be wanting why I’m not talking.

“Well, it was a good thing we didn’t give up our room,” said Mom.

“Yeah,” I said and commenced staring out the window. Mom kept the room because she knew we’d be coming back. I noticed Alex was sullen after I left him with Mom and John had me go with him on some pretense that he wanted me to help him buy Mom a present. From that point on Mom sat with Alex in the back of the car and I sat up front and I thought they were just trying to be nice. They weren’t, they were trying to keep us separated.

As we pulled up to the hotel and began walking into the hotel I said, “I want my own room.”

“Honey, we have our own suite.”

“I want my privacy, I want my own room!”

I got my own room and on a different floor. “I’m knackered. I’m going to take a nap then I’ll come up and get my things later. Sorry to be such a bitch, I’m nervous and tired.” I kissed her on the cheek and got off the elevator.

“That’s fine, hun. And I’m sorry things didn’t go well. Jack is pretty certain that you’ll get the part,” she said as the door closed.

I walked to my room and went in. It wasn’t as nice as Mom’s suite but it was all I needed. Well almost all I needed. I needed Alex. I knew they planned this whole thing probably instigated by Mom but John was her willing accomplice. I don’t know what Mom said to Alex but it was enough to get him to let me go.

I reached for the phone and called Alex.

John answered, “This is John Ambrose, To whom am I speaking?”

“John, this is Hawk, I’d like to speak to Alex.”

“Oh. Well, the answer is no, furthermore I’m having the number changed tomorrow. So don’t try to call, not now, not ever.”

“So, I was right. You and my mother planned this whole weekend to separate us, to turn us against each other!”

“As a matter of fact yes, you are both only fifteen and you and Alex have no idea what you want – it’s just teenage hormones.”

“You’re wrong! I do know what I want! I love Alex with all my heart and soul! But you are right I am only fifteen and in three years I will be an adult and so will Alex and I plan to come and take him away with me to live and I hope it hurts you then as much as it is hurting Alex and me now.”

He hung up.

For the first time in my life I hated my mother. I hated her for causing my sweet Alex pain and grief.