This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There may be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.

Author's Comment: I appreciate your e-mails. Again thanks to Ed the editor for editing. And again thanks go to Drew - without his help and advise and comments this story would never have been written. Chapter nine should follow soon I'm working on chapter 10 and I think it will be from a different characters viewpoint - I should probably re-write this story in third person.

Sam (sam_lakes@hotmail.com)

As always I look forward to any comments.

Blind Love

by Sam Lakes

Chapter 8

I was no longer tired. So, I went to have it out with my mom and to get my things but by the time I got to the room my temper had cooled at bit and I didn’t want to get myself all upset before my audition and screen test. I quietly let myself into her suite, walked over and got my laptop.

She was on the phone in the bedroom. I listened in.

“Well, Jack, I am glad we are back in London. Being the mother of a gay teenage boy is not what I ever wanted. Life would be so much easier if he were straight. I mean if it got out that he was gay that could end his career and the way those two were acting was embarrassing. They acting like a couple of fags. Why did God this to me? I should have known he'd turn out to be like his faggot father. If I'd only known I think I would have had an abortion!”

For the second time that day I was shocked and speechless and devastated. I left the room quietly with my stuff and returned to my room.

My phone rang.

“Sweetie, I just spoke with Jack and we should be at Pinewood at 9am. I’m going to order room service, do you want to join me?”

I felt like saying, “No you two-faced fucking bitch!” but I didn’t, I said, ”No thanks, I’m knackered. I’m just going to go to sleep. Night.”

“Okay, hun. Love you.”

I didn’t bother replying. I hung up and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes then I called up room service and ordered steak and lobster, asparagus, potatoes au gratin, and crème caramel and four bottles of water.

I went to take a shower and by the time I was finished the food arrived. I had two bites of steak, three bites of the lobster, all of the asparagus, a bit of potatoes, all of the crème caramel, and two small bottles of water. I kept the two remaining bottles of water and pushed the cart out into the hall. Then I opened up my laptop and began writing an offline email to Alex.

“Dearest Love,

I realized today that we have been the victims of a heinous conspiracy by our parents. Your dad said that I had really committed some terrible action today and that I had hurt you. I was shocked and devastated to hear that some action of mine could cause you such pain but he said it with such force and anger that I thought for sure I had. I wanted to come and talk to you to straighten things out but I was convinced by your father it was better to just leave and not cause you any more harm than I had already done.

On our way back to London I tried to think of what I had done to make you hate me. I can think of nothing, all I can think about is that I love you. But if your dad is right and I have hurt please know. I never meant to hurt you.

By the time I got back to the hotel I figured out why you became sad – it was after I returned with your dad and you had been with my mother. So, I guess my mom must have said something to make you hate me or something to make you feel bad about loving me.

I tried calling you but your dad answered the phone and said that I could not talk to you and told me that we were too young to know what we want. I told him that is not true and that I love you. I told him he was right I am fifteen and when I’m eighteen I will come and get you and we will leave and I hope that his pain is as bad when that happens as mine is right now. He also confirmed that it was their plan to separate us.”

I also learned tonight that my mom hates me being gay when I overheard her talking to my agent – I thought the way I was was alright with her but apparently not she said if she'd had known I was going to be gay when she was pregnant she would have aborted me.

I feel so alone…I miss you so much. I swear I will never stop loving you and when I’m 18 I will come and get you if you want and we will live together forever.

My love is forever,

PS. Email me back – I’m in room 1206 if you can call. I will be at Pinewood most of the day tomorrow but should be back by 6 or 7, hugs and kisses, Hawken

Alex had his pc in his room. It has a special text to speech program called Jaws I think and headphones. I only hope he was on line.

I connected to the internet and sent the message. I hoped that I would hear back from him soon. Ten minutes later my phone rang.


“Hawken! I love you,” cried the voice at the other end of the phone. I had not cried the whole day but just hearing his voice and hearing him cry and I began to sob. We both sobbed and cried for at least five minutes, neither being able to speak. Our separation had been so enforced upon us that the pain was too unbearable. I knew there would be no way I could exist without Alex in my life at that moment. Eventually we both calmed down and just talked.

He told me how mom said he would be a burden to me like he was a burden to his father…could my hate for that woman be greater than it was as he told me what she had said and how she had made him feel? I resolved at that moment that I would indeed leave home by the age of eighteen and I would try to get emancipated at seventeen.

Alex and I talked until we were both so sleepy that we would doze off.

“Hawken, you need your sleep. I will talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight. I love you.”

“Nite, Alex, my love, sleep well.”

The next morning I was up at six and ready by six-thirty. I left a note for Mom telling her I had gone to the studios early and took the tube to Uxbridge and a taxi on to the studio.

Mom was ticked off with me but I don’t care. I talk with her when I have to but only from a business point of view. I flatly refuse to communicate to her on a personal basis. The studio paid for a room at a local hotel, it would be more convenient than traveling from London daily. I told mom I would not be sharing. I would treat her civilly publicly but not to expect me to be civil in private. I had heard her two-faced conversation with Jack. I knew what she had done to Alex and I would never forgive her and I would never trust her again. I told her I had no fear or problem about coming out and if she insisted upon interfering with my life, every rag in the world would know I’m gay.

The studio had arranged for me to learn certain blind skills that would be needed and I was to meet Cyril Masters for breakfast at the hotel at 7am.

The next morning I arrived at the hotel restaurant at exactly 7am and asked for Mr. Masters and was shown to his table. For some reason I was expecting some man in his thirties or forties but Mr. Masters turned out to be in his twenties actually. I found out later that he was twenty-three. He was clean-shaven with red hair and a generous amount of freckles and sparkling blue eyes and a nice smile. I thought he looked pretty hot.

“Your guest has arrived, Mr. Masters,” said the lady who had shown me to his table.

“Thank you, Louise. Please have a seat, Mr. Sugarstone. Let me introduce myself, I am Cyril Masters, your trainer. I would prefer you to address me as Cyril and you go by Hawk or Hawken, I believe?”

“Yes sir. Most people call me Hawk, only a few call me Hawken.”

“And who are the few, your mum?”

“No, my mum calls me Hawk unless she wants to piss me off. My best friend calls me Hawken. He says I don’t sound like a Hawk, I sound more like a Hawken.”

“Hmm. I see what he means,” he smiled.

“Ready to order?” the waitress asked.

“Oh, cheese omelet with sausages and a glass of orange juice fresh squeezed if you have it and bottled water, thank you,” I said.

“Toast, crumpet, or scone?” she asked.

“None, thank you.”

“Would you mind if I called you Hawken? I think I agree with your friend.”

“No. Hawken is fine, sir.”

“You nervous?”

“Yes, quite ner-vous.”

“Don’t be, I promise not to bite. So, tell me about your best friend.”

“We met on the plane coming over here and we just sort of hit it off, we have a lot of common interests.”

“So you have only known him four days and he’s your best friend?”

“Yes. Could we not talk about Alex right now? I miss him a lot and I really want to get on with whatever training we have to do.”

“Yes, okay, well maybe I can meet him someday soon. You know he could be your guest for a day. You know the studio is pretty awesome.”

“That’s not going to happen,” I said under my breath.


“Why what?” I said rather testily.

“Why isn’t it going to happen?”

“Because…he’s blind…because his dad would have to bring him and his dad hates me. Satisfied? ‘appy?”

“So, Alex is blind, does he use a cane?”


“Too bad, if he used a cane he wouldn’t have to depend on his father to bring him here.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because the ability to travel from place to place safely and efficiently is one of the most important skills a blind person can learn. Using a cane is a traveling tool and the use of a cane is one of the things I’m going to be teaching you.”

“You mean if Alex could use a cane he could go anywhere by himself?”

“Yes, pretty much so. I mean you sometimes have to ask people to let you know when the number 49 bus arrives – but how difficult is that? I live in Golders Green and I got all the way here with no problem. I go all over the place.”

“You’re blind? I didn’t…”

“As a bat, with one exception, a bat uses sonic waves and I use a cane. But there is more to it than just using a cane and you’ll be learning that too.”

I don’t think I have ever been so excited about learning anything in my whole life. I was more excited about the possibilities and the new doors that would open for Alex.

“Cyril, would you teach Alex? I’ll pay. Please?”

He smiled, “You must really like Alex.”

“He’s my best friend and this would open so many doors for him.”

“I’ll tell you what, work hard and when you can get from here to – where does he live?”

“Lingfield, Surrey.”

“Using a cane and the skills I teach you without the use of your sight then I will teach him.”

“You will? Wow! That’s a deal!”

“It’s not as easy as you think.”

“I don’t care – I am going to do it!”

When my food came I scoffed it down and then waited for Cyril.

Cyril gave me a cane to hold and took me to one of the lots that had a street, sidewalks, and fake buildings (facades). I was amazed how he got about. He walked along at a pretty fast rate and his cane in constant motion ahead of him. When we got to the lot he handed me a pair of special glasses that would block my vision. I put them on and everything was as-if I had my eyes closed and my hand covering my eyes so no light would come in.

He took my cane and placed it in my right hand, “The hand should grasp the cane as if you were shaking hands with someone, and the index finger and thumb should extend along the handle. Like this. Okay?


“You should hold about waist high and centered in front of your body fairly close to the stomach with the arm resting comfortably against your side,” he said, moving my arm to the right position.

He moved behind me, ”The cane should be moved in an arc back and forth, tapping once on the left side and then moved to the right side. The arc should be just slightly wider than your shoulders, so that the cane movement will protect your entire body from hitting any obstacle in the pathway.” He held my hand and demonstrated the movement. “The cane movement should be controlled by wrist movement, not arm motion. When you’re walking, the cane should always be in front of the foot that is back, and should hit the ground at the same time that the foot hits the ground. For example, as you step forward with your right foot, the cane moves to the left and hits the ground in front of the left foot. Then as you step forward with your left foot, the cane moves to the right and hits the ground in front of the right foot, and so on,” he said as we moved together slowly one step at a time for a few steps. “This pattern insures that you will always have an extra step before you come to whatever your cane contacts. Any questions?”


“Good, start walking.”

I took one step. My instincts begged me to take off the glasses and I’m not going to say that I wasn’t a bit scared. I was being very, very cautious and moving very slow.

After I guess fifteen minutes of the snail’s pace I was keeping, Cyril said, ”You know, Hawken, at this rate we should be visiting Alex in about a year.

I quickened my pace and by lunch time I felt I hadn’t done too bad. I’d tripped a couple of times and skinned my hand a bit once. I was now able to walk at slightly less than my normal pace and using the cane didn’t seem so weird. There were numerous times my body begged me to take just a quick peek, after all Cyril wouldn’t notice but I managed to squash the urge. Cyril was a fantastic teacher, always encouraging and getting me to realize that I had other senses too.

“Ready for an adventure?” asked Cyril.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Well, I thought we’d go get something to eat. We will be going over to the Administration Building No 1. Now, there will be traffic so keep your ears open. If you get scared or confused, stop and let me know. I only did fair in my opinion. The traffic noise scared me a bit and I slowed almost to a snail’s pace again. Cyril again was a calming influence, pointing out what the different sounds were. It helped. At least three carts passed us and voices from the cart would say ‘hi’ to Cyril and ask if we wanted a ride. He would politely refuse. A fourth cart stopped right ahead of me and I stopped. It scared the hell out of me.

A voice called to Cyril, “Hey Cyril, you guys need a lift?”

“Hey Jon. What do you think, Hawken?”

I shrugged my shoulders and after a few moments Cyril said, “Hawken?”

“I’m thinking…” I wanted to say ‘Yes’ but it seemed like a wimp out and the original adventure was to walk to the cafeteria – it would be so easy to say yes and then I thought of Alex, “No. I’d like to walk.”

“There’s your answer, Jon, but thanks for the offer.”

I heard the cart drive off.

“What took you so long to decide?” asked Cyril.

“It would have been easy and I wanted to say ‘yes’ but it would have been a wimp out.”

“Well, then let’s continue.”

Cyril helped me navigate to the cafeteria. He moved ahead of me as we got in the serving line and I just ordered whatever he ordered except I had bottled water. When it came time to pay I realized I had no idea how to tell what was a fiver or ten pound note so I just opened my wallet and asked the cashier to take a fiver. She did I guess and gave me back my change.

I thought Cyril was ahead of me. “Which way now, Cyril?” I asked but there was no reply. “Cyril?” For a second I panicked. I had no idea which way to go and the noises of everyone talking and the kitchen noise has me totally confused. “Cyril, don’t play games with me!” I said a little louder and still no reply. I couldn’t take off the glasses because I was holding my cane and tray of food.

Carefully I took a step backwards, “Ma’am?” I called to the cashier.

“Yes dear?”

“My friend, can you see him anywhere?”

“No, dear. Would you like someone to take you to a table?”

“Yes, ma’am. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“One second, dear.”

I waited.

“William, could you take this young man to a table please?”

“Yes, no problem, Alice,” said a male voice.

“You must be with Cyril, one of his students, then?”

“Yes sir.”

“Here I’ll take the tray and you follow.”

He took the tray and stood there for a second. “Shoulder,” he said.

“Oh, yeah,” I said and placed my hand on his shoulder and he led the way to Cyril.

“Hello Cyril, I think you left this young man behind. There ya go.” He put my tray on the table and helped me to sit down. “How’s Joe enjoying ‘isself time off?”

“He’s doing great, he’s got almost all the rooms in the flat painted now. He painted our bedroom the other day and the smell nearly killed me. I’m happy the studio put me up at the Marriott for the next couple of weeks.”

I’m glad I had shepherd’s pie because it’s not that hard to eat when you can’t see. William left and I didn’t say a thing. I was pissed at being left behind.

“Well, I see you made it here,” he said cheerfully.

“No thanks to you,” I muttered.

“Exact-a-tickley, no thanks to me.”


“You made it here on your own without me telling you what to do. That’s what it’s all about!”

“I don’t follow.”

“This training. Look if you don’t think situations like me leaving you standing there don’t happen a lot then you’re living a fool’s dream. The thing is you asked for help and you received it. Sometimes it happens you get disoriented and you don’t know what to do. Well, you solved the problem, you asked for help. I left you there on purpose because I wanted to see how you would handle it and you did good. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks…is Joe your boyfriend?” I asked.

There were a few moments of silence, “Never mind, you don’t have to answer, it’s not really my business…”

“Yeah he is…is that a problem for you?”

“Is he sighted?”


“Cool…Alex is not just my best friend, he’s my boyfriend too…is that a problem for you?” I giggled.

For the rest of lunch we sat and talked about our respective boyfriends. We did several more hours of training and had dinner together. I hadn’t taken off my ‘shades’ all day…it had been a great day and by seven o’clock I was anxious to talk to Alex.

I sent an email asking him to call me.

. Write me - Sam Lakes sam_lakes@hotmail.com