This story is based on a real story but names, places, and businesses have been changed to protect those who were involved, including mine. If you choose to read then please know the laws of your town, state, province, or country. I do not judge my readers and encourage all of my readers to email me.
I have made some changes to the story, nothing big. At some points in this story things may become graphic and some times to graphic for some readers I urge to read with cation and I will try to warn you when something to graphic but it may be hard while trying not to reveal the chapter. For those of you who have a weak stomach include that in an email and I will warn you ahead of time or in the informing email if you wish to.
BLUE WOLF-CHAPTER FOUR:
The months passed and I knew it was harder and harder on Lucas with each day. He may not have said in anything but he didn't have to, his eyes showed it all. It was killing me inside to know this was going on. In those months I had began to date one guy and when I introduced him to the rest of my friends Lucas was giving him the death stare and when he would look at me he had these pleading eyes. A week after that we had only been dating 4 weeks I dumped him. I couldn't take it .
Normally I wouldn't let something like that affect my dating choices but it was Lucas, my best friend, my brother. Many times I had cried myself asleep and woke up crying. Many times I skipped classes because I couldn't stop crying or I didn't want to see Lucas. I tried to stay close to him but within those months we drifted. That's what made it even harder.
Finally I had to do two things I swore I would never do. Go on a pity date and lie to Lucas.
I got in my car and rove over to Lucas' house. When I got there Lucas was home alone. He was laying in bed with a wet pillow and pictures of us all over his bed. He may have been asleep but he was fairly hot even as the mess he was right then.
I stroked the side of his face and a lone tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. I leaned down and kissed his cheek. For a few minutes I thought about walking out but then I thought about the way he looked and the pain he felt, the pain I knew he felt. Then I though about what caused it and then I realized that I caused his pain.
Slowly I leaned back down and kissed Lucas again, but this time on his lips. They were once again soft and moist. In no time I was on top of him and his hands were on my waist.
“Cam. What are you doing? Why are you here?” Lucas asked while I sat back on his lower stomach looking down at him.
“Lucas I'm not sure how or why but all I want is to be with you.”
“How Cam? I thought all your feelings for me just disappeared?”
“They did but they came back. And they're here to stay.”
Okay I know and knew that this was one of my worst ideas but hey he was my best friend and I hated seeing him in pain. I also figured that if I could love him once I could learn to love him again.
Lucas pulled me down onto the bed with him and for the next few hours we laid there in his bed sharing kisses. Finally I snuggled up to him resting my head just under his jaw. I could hear his heart beat and the subtle thumps of his heart were soothing.
“Lucas how long have u had these feelings for me?”
“I guess since Freshmen year. It's been hard keeping these feelings hidden though.”
“Why didn't you ever say anything to be before this?”
“I was afraid. I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way and I would end up obsessing over you to the point where I would become your stoker.”
“Uh Lucas.” I said holding up one the several photos that were on his bed and that I was laying on.
“What I was admiring good photography.”
“Lucas I took this picture of you and me when we were in the 8th grade.”
“Yeah and its a work of art.” He gave me a quick peck on the lips then took the picture form me.
“Come on let's clean up your bed.” I sat up on his bed then crawled off it.
“Can you. . .uh. . .leave? Just for a few minutes?”
“Come on Lucas get up.” I said grabbing his hand and pulling form the bed.
Lucas fell off the bed onto his ass on the floor. When I looked at his long legs I realized he didn't have pants on or boxers. In fact Lucas now sat totally naked on the floor.
“Oh shit. Lucas I'm sor. . .you're naked.”
“Uh. . .yeah. That's why I asked you to leave. Now please leave so I can put on some pants.” Lucas finally realized that he was on display for me and instantly pulled the blanket down over himself.
“Oh come on I already saw you so come on get up and put on some cloths.” I said trying not to laugh but the occasional giggle would escape my mouth.
“Come on please Cam. You already saw me and I really didn't want you to until we. . .you know?”
“I'm sorry Lucas. I'll go wait in the living room.” I hung my head knowing I really fucked up and bad.
I sat on the couch thinking about what I did and I knew I probably fucked up with Lucas. I sat there for a few minutes waiting for Lucas to come get me. I laid back on the couch and closed my eyes. Lucas not only came and got me he jump on me straddling my waist. When I looked at him he was in a pair of sweat pants and I could see the top of his boxers, and that was it.
“Hey there Cutey.” He said rubbing my chest with his big hands.
“Hey there Sexy.” I replied rubbing his thighs.
“So, you wanna come back to my room and we can do the deed?” He asked seductively now rubbing his hands under my shirt.
“Sure, but you'll have to show me how, I'm still a virgin.”
“A sweet little innocent virgin, how cute. Well I know a thing or to, not much.”
“As long as its something.”
“Come on.” He said getting off me and puling me up.
The next 20 minutes we spent cleaning up his room and organizing things. When we were done Lucas walked over to me with a deadly smirk then he leaned down and we shared another kiss.
“So my parents are gone for the next few days. What do you want to do?” I asked knowing his parents would be home soon.
“Do you mind if we stay at your place? I kinda don't want to sleep alone tonight, not after all this drama.”
“Normally I would rip you a new one for saying that but I understand so sure. Go pack a bag.”
“Okay, thanks Babe.”
“Hurry.” I called after him as he walked down the hall to his room.
For a few minutes I really did believe that I had feelings for Lucas other than as a really close friend. The only hing I worried about is when I don't learn to love Lucas in return. Will I always be stuck like this? What will happen? What will I do? What will I do when he feels hes ready to take things to the next level? Do I just give it to him and sob about it when I'm 40 years old and have wasted my life? Maybe I can learn to love him in a short amount of time that I have. I'm guessing I have about 6-9 months.
“Hey I'm ready to go.” Lucas said walking down the hall now with jeans and a T-shirt on.
“Okay come on.” We walked out after Lucas left his parents a note. The drive was quick and Lucas had this huge smile on his face the entire drive to my house. When I pulled into the garage Lucas pulled me into his lap and kissed my face profusely.
“Lucas stop that tickles.” I laughed as he kissed just behind me ear.
“Does this?” He nibbled and sucked on my ear lobe.
“Does this?” He kissed my jaw line just below my ear.
“A little.” My mind was racing.
“How about this?” Lucas leaned in closer to me and carefully he pressed his lips against mine.
“It doesn't tickle but gives me a better feeling.” I whispered as we broke the kiss.
“Come on this car isn't big enough to be sitting here to long.”
“Yeah. Let's get inside.” He opened the door and let me get out while he grabbed his bag and fallowed me inside the house.
When the door shut into the house Lucas dropped his bag and scooped me up in his arms as I wrapped my legs around his lower body. He carried me all the way to the living room. While doing so his lips were pressed against my neck. I really didn't mind because we had already done this once.
“No.” Lucas stopped suddenly after he had set me on the back of the couch.
“Not yet. I wanna actually take you on a date first. I want you to feel special.”
“Lucas with you I will always feel special.”
“Then let me show you how I feel.”
“Okay.” I leaned back pulling Lucas with me. We landed on the couch with Lucas on top of me. I pulled him close to me and just kept him there. He rested his head on my shoulder while I ran my fingers through his hair. Lucas ran his fingers down my back and then wrapped them around me tightly.
“Hey do my a favor and take your shirt off please?” I asked softly.
“Take off your shirt. Please?”
“Okay. Just for you though.” Lucas sat up and pulled his shirt off. I ran my fingers up fallowing the bottom of his shirt as he went. Lucas had an amazing chest and abs. His arms were big but not huge. He had decided to play field hockey this year so he worked out just about every day to get in shape for it.
“Now flex for me.”
“Sure.” Lucas did as he was asked and lifted his arms flexing them really trying to show off. I sat up and ran my fingers over his chest going out to his arms. His biceps were hard and large like his chest. He really did take pride in his body and I knew he wouldn't do anything to ruin it. He shouldn't. His body was beautiful and perfectly sculpted. His chiseled body was hard as rock and the taut skin let me feel the smooth muscles underneath. I ran my hands from the side of his arms running under them, down his sides and finally around his waist.
“Do you like it?” Lucas asked breaking me from my thoughts.
“Its wonderful. So hard and firm, yet soft and gentle to the touch. Your arms are so big and so. . . so insanely hard.” I had slid my hands back up and was holding his arm up with one hand while the other glided over the top.
“Glad you like it, its all yours now.”
“It's all yours.”
Did I feel like a complete and under piece of shit right then? Of course. Lucas just promised his body to me because he thought I had the same feelings for him as he had for me. Should I keep going on with this? Yes, if it males Lucas feel better then yes I will. I know this could end up backfiring in my face but we all had to take chances in life.
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Not one of my more memorable moments in life but we all fuck up in life. At least it wasn't drugs. It hurts to think of it and I try not to but things in my life now bring up these bad memories. Every time I think of this I think of what would have happened if I hadn't done this? How would it affect my life? I wonder how drastic my life would have changed.
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