the small print

This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There will probably not be any sex scenes in this story; and sex is not the main theme. So if you are looking for JO material this is not it and you'd do better to checkout another story on Nifty, If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright. Everything in this story is totally fictional and all characters are simply the authors creation and resemblance to anyone living or dead is strictly coincidental.

When Jamie and I decided to write this story we talked to our parents - we aren't the norm I know what teens talk to their parent for that matter what parents really talk to their teen. We we used to be normal until we came out - that is to say, we tried to hide in our closets and now because had we talked and been honest well that just wouldn't be normal - or would it?

bbe: Yeah. Normal for us teens is we lie and hide or feelings from the rents...right? Unforntuately, it's true we are a society that is out of communication - too much TV, video games, movies that's what we were. It was hard for us to come out but we did -

Do you know how many gay related suicides there are each year - I don't but what I do know is one gay related suicide is one too many!

bbe: One of our two best friends now Lisa and Dan, a totally straight couple, Lisa told me that one of the neatest things about Dan is his relationship with his step-grandfather who is also his legal guardian. Dan says that his grandfather is like a grandfather, father and very best friend rolled into one loveable package. Dan is seventeen his grandfather is 61. Dan had to go live with his step-grandfather when he was twelve because his parents when in jail for murdering his half sister. "I didn't exactly come from a good background, drugs and alcohol, lying, cheating getting even and abuse was the norm. My step-grandfather saved my life because I would have eventually followed in my parents footsteps I am sure. Phil (he hates being called grandfather) had two rules Rule 1. Always talk to me - if you have a problem we can talk about it I will try to advise you but you will have to make you own decisions as to how you want to handle it. Rule 2. If you do something you feel is wrong always communicate to me about it and never lie - lying destroyes trust. In the five years I've lived with him we've had minor arguments but we always talked them out we never made each other wrong and he has always treated me as an equal never as a child or teen. Also I never just say goodbye to Phil when I go out I always say Goodbye, c ya later. I love you. And he always says he loves me back and you may think its mushy but our realtionship is based on love and trust. And I'm not embarrassed to say it out in public because it's true."

acd: We realize that Dan was lucky to have some adult like Phil in his life. We've met Phil and he is soooo cool when you talk to him you forget that he is 61 Dan and Lisa know Jamie and I are a couple.

When I said to Phil "Jamie and I are a couple we're gay. I hope that doesn't bother you." His reply was "Cool dudes, but you know the way you look at each it's hard not to see that you two love each other. Well," he said very seriously, "You need to know something about me. I'm 61, fat, balding and sometimes I act like a kid, I hope that doesn't bother you." We all laughed.

bbe: Hey the thing is communicate and if you don't feel anyone will understand then you can always talk to us.

acd: Now this chapter was writen my my Dad. So, here's Dad.

dad: Thanks son. When Aaron and Jamie asked me to write this part I was honored. If what I written here helps a parent come to grips and really understand and become closer to their child then it will have been more than a worthwhile action.My schedule, my wife's schedule Audrey's schedule and the kids schedule is always busy, but we all take time to communicate - to say hello and how are you doing and really listen to each other. The was something that Phil told me and that is Always ask questions, and be willing to listen, here and understand their answer. Never make them wrong for their answers or for being the way they are and treat them as if they were your very best friend in the world and you will find that they will be your very best friend in the world.


Chapter 5
What do you do? What do you say?
Edmund DuBois

“Hun, I need to see you for a minute. It’s important and about our youngest,” my wife Kathy said to me. I was on the phone talking with the west coast regional director of Teledynamics Worldwide. I immediately cut the conversation short after signaling my wife to come in.

“Louise, please hold all calls. I’m in conference with my wife and don’t want any interruptions.” I hung up the phone and gave my wife my total attention.

“The school called. Aaron apparently cut classes today. His bike is in the office and the office secretary said he came in this morning on his bike. His first and second period teachers reported him absent. Lucy says he hasn’t been to see her but that two weeks ago he apparently fainted. She tried to get him to talk to her but he said nothing was wrong. She doesn’t think he’s on drugs but just not the same old Aaron, he’s so withdrawn from everyone. I’m worried, I’m really worried. It’s gone on for too long and now he’s starting to cut classes – we can’t just sit idly by and pretend nothing is wrong,” Kathy said.

“You’re right. It’s gone on too long. I guess I’ve just been hoping he’d change and get through whatever he has to get thru like Robert did. I am so worried because he’s beginning to remind me of Alex.”

Alex was my brother five years my senior. He died unexpectedly at the age of seventeen. I was devastated because I idolized him, but I was kept in the dark as to why he had died or how he had died. When I was married and Robert, my son – Aaron’s older brother - was six or seven I asked my father why Alex had died and all he said was Alex was a beautiful person but Alex had some imperfections that he couldn’t or wouldn’t accept or face and so ended his life. What imperfections, I asked and my dad said that it didn’t matter what they were, they were insignificant in my dad’s eyes and he said he didn’t want me to remember my brother for his imperfections, only for his perfections. He also said don’t let a day go by when you don’t let your children know how much you love them and how important they are to you.

After that talk with my dad I realized that from the time my brother died until I was grown and on my own there hadn’t been a day he hadn’t practiced his own philosophy. From that time I had always felt love, understanding, and the greatest friendship from my parents. I never got involved in drugs although it was fast becoming the ‘cool’ thing.

I applied my dad’s philosophy to Robert who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s. Sure he had problems particularly as a teen but I was always there for him and we always discussed things like responsible adults. The change from child to teen to adulthood is often problematic but with love, understanding, and communication it’s easier. I figured that I was the parent and that I was the one to set a good example. I guess it worked because he, like me, never got into drugs or alcohol. His comments to me were that he’d rather be the designated driver. He’d watch his friends doing drugs and shake his head. “Dad, have you ever seen a drunk or somebody that’s high? They make so many mistakes and they act so stupid and out of control and they think that the stupid things they do are so ‘cool’ – ‘it’s the ‘cool thang’.

Our oldest grandson is a month older than Aaron. Aaron was definitely unexpected but never unwanted. For the first eleven years of his life I applied my dad’s philosophy to him, but with the pressures of work and other such justifications I slowly but surely stopped applying my dad’s philosophy. Disasters and new and important company challenges began to take over my life and my wife’s life. Ten-hour days became sixteen or eighteen hour days. We were an international company and growing rapidly.

Two years ago we moved to Australia where I handled our new Asian Pacific office. It was an action that paid off for our company but personally I wish I hadn’t done it or rather I wish I had found someone else to do it. Looking back it was an ego trip and I saw only myself as capable of pulling it off but it cost me more in heartache than anything else in my whole life. I would gladly give up everything in my life to reverse that foolish decision because that decision has nearly cost me my youngest son. I haven’t given up but I am seriously at a loss.

For the past two years all he talks to me about is photography or videography. Until last year he’d shown me his work and has been proud to show it to me when I had the time. It was Kathy that pointed out to me that he never talks about his friends, never asks to go over to a friend’s home or have a friend come over to stay. He seems to be dedicated to photography and videography. We talked to his teachers to see if he was having problems with the other kids and they all said that he was quite sociable, at times a little standoffish but nothing to worry about. The only teacher that had any concern was his English teacher. She had asked the class to write a poem ten minutes before the end of class about their favorite age as a child. After I heard the poem I decided to return to the States and try to spend more time with Aaron.

It was a simple poem.

I Lost
AC Dubois

When I was twelve I had a friend
Who had the bluest blue eyes and a cheerful grin.

I had a pony and she had a colt
I came to Australia that was a terrible jolt

I lost my pony, who lost her colt
But most of all I lost my friend
and the love I thought would never end.

When we got back to the States I apologized for the pony. He told me he’d long since gotten over it. I offered to by him another pony or dog or cat or anything. His reply was, “Get me an Apple G4 fully loaded and a 23” wide monitor.” He didn’t want an animal, saying “They are dirty, and take too much time to care for, time I’m not willing to spend.” If he wanted to see and pet an animal he’d go to the petting zoo. He had always hated zoos.

We had thought of sending him to a private school but Lucy, Kathy’s sister, was the nurse at a local high school and in August he started school. Lucy called us two weeks ago to tell us he fainted; she thought it was stress related and he ended up hyperventilating. Aaron never said anything about what happened or even that it did happen but in the last two-weeks he’s become more withdrawn. I talked to him and he just said he’d been “working hard on a video project”. I let it go.

But now he cut class, something he has never done in his life to my knowledge. Today was the day I would fight to get my son back from whatever precipice he was at the edge of.

“Louise, cancel everything on my calendar today. Tell Mrs. Lockhart that I’m sorry to break her welcoming dinner but we will reschedule it later this week or next week. Kathy and I are going home and are not to be disturbed by anyone.”

Around five thirty Maria the housekeeper interrupted Kathy and me to let us know that Aaron had called that he was having dinner with a friend and would be home by ten o’clock to ‘face the music’. She said, “Aaron, he sound very happy. He not a happy boy but he happy now!”

We had no choice but to wait. True to his word Aaron was home by ten o’clock. I was ready to read him the riot act, I was not going to lose this fight. I was prepared to do battle, but as soon as he walked into the room I knew there would be no battle.

By whatever miracle that happened today my son was his old self but even better. I was so filled with happiness and enthusiasm, it was all I could do not to burst into tears. He was talking and telling us about his day – his fantastic day with his newfound friend or perhaps his long-lost friend, Jamie Lockhart. I wondered if perhaps Jamie was Audrey’s son and as it turned out he was.

What really did it for me was when Aaron said, “Oh! Please, please, please. I really like him as a friend, as a best friend and I-I want to show him all the wonderful things I’ve seen!”

Yes, maybe I spoil my son in your eyes, but that’s my prerogative, I’m his father. When you have more money than you could ever spend in three lifetimes, what’s a few thousand dollars when it means so much to your son and it brings true happiness.

I was so overwhelmed with joy that I told Audrey to thank her son for me. I would explain more tomorrow and said we’d make dinner arrangements then for tomorrow night for her and her fantastic son.

The next morning we dropped Aaron off at school – he talked a mile a minute on the way to his school about the British Museum and showing Jamie everything. “Dad, Mom, did you know Jamie is as crazy about museums as I am? Can you imagine that? Weird huh? We had a great time at the Museum of Science and Industry. You know we only got to see an eighth of it which means we are going to have to go back there seven more times, but I promise we won’t cut class any more. Did you know that he’s on the JV Football team? He’s a wide receiver, whatever that is! He says he’ll explain football to me, isn’t that great! Jamie is so cool. Dad, Mom, I really love you so much for saying we can go to London.” When we got to school he surprised me by giving me a goodbye kiss – something he hadn’t done for a long time.

I had to wipe my eyes a few times driving to work.

Audrey arrived in my office at eight o’clock. We had coffee. “I don’t know what your son did, my son is so excited about going to London with his best friend. I was thinking, Audrey, that you should come along too. Be a good time for you to meet my oldest son and get familiar with the European market.”

“Edmund, I really must talk to you about something. This is very difficult for me to discuss with you because I don’t really know you and Kathy that well and I only know your son from what my son has told me. For me it’s a very difficult and sensitive issue because I have not told my son what I am about to tell you and in a way I am betraying the trust he has placed in me but I think the situation warrants this discussion.

“Four years ago my ex-husband and I moved to Bakersfield. California. Jamie was thirteen then and at first when we talked about moving to California he was okay about it. Until the day we left and he threw a fit. For two years he never talked about friends and basically never had any friends. He’s always been shy but I was really worried – when I’d question him he said he had too much homework to have friends and he wanted to get a scholarship for college and besides his only friend was ‘back home’. When my husband and I got divorced and he knew he was coming back here his mood changed, he became happier. In packing for the move back I found a letter he had written to a boy – it was sort of a love letter and I suspected that he might be gay, but he was only thirteen when he wrote the letter and I thought perhaps it was just a passing phase.

But then passing phase or not, why had he kept the letter? I decided to find out about gays and in particular gay teens…a surprising number of gay teens commit suicide and that scared me because there is so much antipathy and bigotry and I didn’t want to see my son to become a suicide statistic because of what he was and the feeling that nobody would understand or that I would hate him forever. I didn’t know how to broach the subject. I didn’t want to wrongly accuse him either. So I put it off and he continued to be miserable and depressed. One day six months ago I found gay porno on my computer. That was all I needed. So I confronted him. I am glad I did because he confessed in light of the evidence I presented that he was truly gay. It wasn’t a phase, it was what he was. It had been a secret from everyone and me. And now I knew and he knew that I still loved him no matter what…” Audrey paused and wiped her tears, took a deep breath and continued while Kathy and I listened. “I asked him about the letter and he told me that right before we left for California he finally had the courage to talk to the boy. The boy had ridden his pony to school and he had helped the boy deliver a colt and that in that short time he had fallen in love with the boy named Aaron.”

“It wasn’t until yesterday when Jamie arrived back from Chicago that I knew Aaron’s last name.” She took a deep breath. “A few days ago Jamie was so depressed when he came home from school. He said Aaron was back and he had tried to talk with Aaron but Aaron was avoiding him like he avoided everyone and all he wanted was to be his friend again, just a friend because Aaron wasn’t the Aaron he once knew. I told him he had to force a confrontation and he did and you know the rest of the story – they went to Chicago.

“I asked him if he had come out to Aaron and he said no and he wouldn’t for as long as he could because he wanted to just enjoy being his friend because in his mind he feels that as soon as Aaron knows he’s gay, the friendship will be gone. That is his worst fear.”

We sat there for a few moments not saying anything. Was my son gay? I never even suspected it. But what if he was…could I accept that…I had known some gay men and they never seemed to be the sort of Hollywood version of gay – the kind you see in the movies. Would I hate him? Hell no! Would I be ashamed of him – no. Would I care any less? No. How do I feel about this boy called Jamie? Gay or not he made my son happy and brought him back to life. How could I do anything but show him respect and love?

“Audrey, what color eyes does your son have?”

“Blue, very blue,” she replied.

I looked at Kathy. She smiled slightly and nodded.

“Well, I think Aaron is gay.” I sighed and explained to Audrey about the poem Aaron had written.

We all had a good cry after that, for me it was a cry of relief, relief because now we knew and we could be there for him and for Jamie.

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