Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2005 17:09:10 -0700 (PDT) From: Ryan Miller Subject: Bonding Energy part 1 As with all stories I write, I love feedback. But only feedback! I am not here to pick up guys, especially old, hairy, married men looking to get lucky. Tell me I'm a great writer or whatever, but stop sending gross pictures of yourself. Unless of course you look like Charlie Hunnam. ;) So send any comments to blue98custom@yahoo.com. Disclaimer: This is a homoerotic story I have written which means two things: if you are offended by or not allowed to read such material, then don't; and don't publish it elsewhere without my expressed permission. Bonding Energy Part 1 It was a typical day ... well, typical for me at least. My life could never be defined as typical. My name is Kyle. I was orphaned at the age of 6 when my parents were killed in a bank robbery. My father tried to stop the robbers and my mom tried to stop him. You can guess what happened. None of my relatives were willing to take in my older brother, James, and me, so we floated around the foster care system for several years. When he turned 18 and I was 14, he moved out and bought his own place and got a job as a graphic designer for an advertising company. Within a year, he had been promoted to the head of his department (he had a knack for that stuff, I guess) and was making enough money to become my legal guardian, so I moved in with him. So I'm an orphaned high school sophomore living with his older brother. Add the advanced classes I'm taking, the friends I don't have and the fact that I'm gay and I am anything but typical. To get on with the story, it was a typical day in my favorite advanced class: organic chemistry. This class was the love and hate of my life because on the one hand I loved the subject, but it was full of stupid jocks who loved nothing more than to tease the "squash-more." I'm not sure why a bunch of dumb jocks would want to take organic chemistry, but I'm guessing it was so they could hit on the young, blond teaching assistant. But it wasn't total torture, for what they saw in her I definitely saw in them, or at least one of them. His name was Brian. I think his last name was Freeman or Fleishman or something, but that never mattered to me. I just knew him as Brian -- the hottest guy in our whole school. He had spiked, blond hair that went well with his chiseled features. I would have given anything to have PE with him so I could steal a look as his ripped body, but I had to be satisfied with his tight shirts that showed off his bulging biceps and flat stomach. I often wondered what it would be like to be as built as him, but my slender figure refused to bulk up. And what I loved most about him was his piercing, blue eyes. They were almost grey in color and had a depth that said there was something going on in that thick, jock head of his. I tried not to look at them because they were so easy to get lost in. Brian was quarterback, captain of the wrestling team, and all-star thrower for the track team, so of course he led the pack of hooligans who harassed me. One day in class while I was taking notes on alkenes, I felt something hit my leg. It came from the direction of the jock table so I knew it was one of the many projectiles they would throw at me, but they usually hit my head. `Their aim is getting worse,' I thought. I kept taking notes and paid them no heed, though I could hear them snickering. "Psst!" I heard a voice say. I glanced up from my notes to see what was bothering me and did a double take when I saw Brian's piercing eyes staring straight at me. I took this rare opportunity to stare into them, not caring what he wanted. He looked down at he floor and then back up at me. I just stared back at him, lost somewhere in the clear, blue window to his soul. But I was pulled back to reality when he broke the gaze and looked up at the teacher who was now standing next to us. "Brian, is there something you need help with?" she said. "No, I was just asking Kyle if he had extra paper," said Brian. I didn't remember him asking for paper. What did I miss while I was entranced. I thought back and remembered that he looked at the floor. I looked down and saw the wadded up piece of paper he hit me with. "Psst!" I heard again. I looked up and saw Brian staring at me again. He quickly looked down at the paper and back up at me and then turned back to his notes before the teacher noticed. I decided to investigate this paper that had him so intrigued he would risk getting in trouble to let me know it was there. I picked it up and unwadded it to see it was a note. `The guy of my dreams just left me a note!' I squealed inside. I was sure it wouldn't be the kind I was hoping for, but I read it with an equal amount of anticipation. It said: Hey Kyle, I know I've been an ass all year and I'm sorry. I really need your help with this chemistry stuff. If I don't pass, I will have to stay one more year and I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to. One more year of high school would drive me nuts. Would you help me study? I could pay you if that's what it takes. I really need to pass and would appricate your help. Brian "Well," I heard Brian say. I looked up from the note and saw him glance between me and the teacher. "What do you think?" he said in his best attempt at a whisper. What do I think? I thought it was cute how he spelled appreciate wrong. But I could have the hottest guy I know alone with me talking about my favorite subject in the world. Hell yes I'll do it! But I wanted to see how long I could drag this out. "I'm not sure," I said with a shadow of a smirk as I manipulated him. I would have kept on going if I hadn't seen the glow of his eyes falter. I could tell he was really worried about this, so I stopped messing around and wrote "Sure," on the paper and handed it to him. When he looked at my reply, his faced showed a great deal of relief and he quickly wrote a response on the paper and handed it back to me making sure the teacher didn't see. It said: Thanks. Meet me at the flagpole at 3:10. TELL NO ONE! 3:10? School got out at 2:45, so he must really not want to attract attention to this. The rest of chemistry went along fine. It was the last class of the day, so after it was over there was only 25 minutes until 3:10. Right after class, I headed out to the flagpole and sat on the bench next to it and played my Gameboy until he got there. It was 3:20 when he finally arrived. Everyone else had gone by then, but I think that was his intention. "Hey Kyle, thanks for doing this," he said. "I know I've been a jerk all year ... are you OK?" That question caught me off guard and I realized I had been lost in his eyes again. "Um, yea. I'm fine," I said, knowing it was a terrible cover-up. "So, did you want to go to my house or yours?" "Huh?" he said. "For the studying," I said. "Oh yea. We'd better go to your place, if that's OK. My mom is getting ready for a party and she doesn't like it when other people are around while she cleans." "Weird," I said. I figured all mothers would enjoy spending time with their sons. "It's not too bad," he said. "It means I don't have to clean anything." I could see his point there and we laughed. Me and the boy of my dreams laughing together. I guess that's what you call hitting it off. "Well, lets go to my car and you can show me where you live," He said. When we got there, he opened the door to a Honda Civic. A Civic? What kind of a jock car is that? People like him are supposed to have a Mustangs or Trans Am. But it was a nice car, with its quicksilver seat covers and a stereo system that was probably worth more than the car was, but that's not hard with a Civic. "So, where do you live," he asked after we got in and he started out of the parking lot. "Maple and 36th." "Cool, I live about three blocks from there," No way, the boy of my dreams within walking distance of where I sleep. This day was getting me really excited. But I tried not to get too excited. I had to remind myself that none of my fantasies were going to come true and that we were just going to study. Even if he was gay, what would he see in a guy like me? Despite my best efforts at exercising, I was still scrawny. My short, brown hair was matted and my overall look just wasn't that appealing, at least not to me. Compared to his beauty, I was nothing. We got to my house and he parked on the side of the street. It was a small, two-story house my brother was renting from an old lady. It would normally be really expensive, but James took the photos for the old lady's granddaughter's wedding and she was really impressed with his work, so she let us stay there for dirt-cheap. I walked inside and Brian followed tentatively. I threw my stuff on the kitchen table and he did the same. "Would you like anything to drink?" I asked. "No, I'm cool, he said." I went to the garage though the kitchen to get myself a Coke and when I came back I was shocked at what I saw. James had Brian in a full-Nelsen up against the wall demanding why he was there. "James, stop!" I yelled, worried for my brother's safety. If he knew whom he was restraining, he would have been more careful. "You know this guy?" James asked. "Yes, he's here to study with me." James looked at Brian who was now red in the face, probably from trying not to turn around and snap my bother's neck. James was strong, but more in heart than in body. The foster system had turned him into a raving lunatic when it came to protecting me, and he attacked any threat with full force. "Let him go James. He's a friend." James pondered that statement for a moment, then decided to let go. He walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs without a word. I heard his door close and Led Zeppelin started playing. He always played Zep when he was mad. "Sorry about that," I apologized to Brian. "He's really protective of me." "What's his problem?" he said. I wasn't quite sure how to address such a question from someone I barely knew, so I improvised: "He has so many, I've just stopped guessing." He shrugged off the issue and we went to the table and pulled out our books. "So, where do we start?" he asked. "Well, what do you need help in?" "I don't know, all of it." "Well you must know something about chemistry." "Not really." "What's electron affinity?" "Is that even English?" "Can you draw Lewis structures?" "No." "What's CH4?" "Carbon hydro ... I don't know. That's why I need your help." I looked into his eyes as he leaned on his hand and sighed. Their dull grey color told me he was really frustrated and disappointed, and the books weren't even open yet. I could see I had my work cut out for me. I wasn't sure what to do, so I started with chapter one: Carbon Bonds. We had to start somewhere. As we studied, we were both amazed at how fast and well he caught on. It seemed he could learn a lot better without his flunkies or a blond in a tight skirt hanging around. After a few hours, we both decided it was getting late and that two chapters was enough studying for one night. "Thanks Kyle," he said as he packed up his books. "I really can't tell you how cool it is for you to do this, even after I was an ass all year." "It's OK, it never really bothered me." That was a blatant lie. I had come home countless times crying because of what he and his friends had done to me that particular day. If it wasn't a wedgie that challenged my ability to have children it was gravy poured over my head at lunch. "Well, I'll try and get them to tone it down. Sorry for making you feel bad. You're a cool guy and I appreciate your help," he said. "I appricate it too," I mumbled under my breath. "Huh," he said. "Uh, same time tomorrow?" I said and congratulated myself on a smooth recovery. "No, I can't. My mom has that party and I have to go to it," He said. " `Have to go?' Can it be that bad?" "Yea. It's a party for my dad's friends at work. He's a sports writer for the newspaper and they want to throw a party for an editor who won some award." "That does sound bad. Can you get out of it?" "No, I already agreed to it, and I have to take my girlfriend." "Why are you making her go if it's gonna be lame?" "They insisted I bring her so they could meet her," he said. If I wasn't mistaken, I heard a twinge of anxiety in his voice. Well, I would be nervous if I had committed my date to an uneventful evening of toasts and office people getting drunk. He picked up his stuff and I walked him to the door. "Well, see you tomorrow in class?" he asked, as if something otherwise would happen. "Sure," I said. He turned and walked out the door. As he went back to his civic in the twilight air, I admired his muscular shoulders and back, which tapered down to a tight butt. Oh, to be that tall and handsome. "I can see what you like about him," said James. I nearly knocked him on the floor as I turned around and shoved him inside closing the door. "What if he hears you?!" I exclaimed. James knew I was gay, but he was the only one. I was embarrassed as hell to tell anyone else. "If he doesn't know already, he's pretty clueless." "What do you mean?" I said indignantly. He laughed and said, "Every time you weren't looking at a book, you were staring at his face or his arms. You didn't even notice when I came downstairs." "You came down stairs?" I said. James just laughed and walked over to the couch and flung himself on it. As I thought about it, my behavior was pretty obvious. If he noticed I was checking him out, it must not have bothered him because he didn't say anything or beat the crap out of me. Speaking of which, "What was up with you this afternoon," I shouted into the living room. "What do you mean," he said as I walked in to sit in my recliner. It was well established that the couch was James' to sprawl out on while I could have my way with the recliner. If I took it upon myself to sit on the couch, he would pick me up and throw me off of it. "I mean, I come home with a friend and you assault him. He didn't even look like a burglar." "I was stressed out and some guy in a tight shirt who looks like he could bench 350 is standing in the kitchen. It was a knee-jerk reaction." "Hard time at work again?" "I guess you could say that. We have a new intern who just got out of some graphic arts school and thinks he knows more than the rest of us combined. And then of course the fact came up that I only have a GED and he went off on how I wasn't qualified to be department manager. Luckily my boss walks in at that same time and basically tears the kid a new one. He told the kid about how he never had a degree before and he still managed to build his company from nothing and how I am department manager because I'm damn good at what I do." "Same old story?" "Same old story. I'll be surprised if the kid comes back tomorrow. But they rarely do." He turned on the TV to watch CSI, but I wasn't interested. I was too bust thinking about the day. I found it amazing how someone I could have described as my nemesis has become the closest thing I have to a friend, and how that person is the guy I have the biggest crush on. I thought about how I would have more frequent and legitimate excuses to check him out. "Wasn't that Brian Freeman?" asked James. It must have been a commercial break because he never speaks during CSI, unless it's to tell the criminal how stupid they are. "Yea, it was," I said. "Isn't he the one giving you crap all the time?" "He used to, but he seems to have changed his mind since I helped him." "Really," James said with a mischievous smile. "I think he likes you." "Shut-up!" He knew I had a crush on Brian and always teased me about it. "Kyle has a boyfriend! Kyle has a boyfriend!" "Shup-up!" I shouted and picked up an empty coke can off the floor and threw it at his head. He caught it and crushed it in what seemed an instant. `Damn, friking brother taking Tae-Kwan-Do,' I though to myself. He would have kept on taunting, but Grissom came back on the screen and he was silent. I leaned back in my chair and must have fallen asleep because I don't remember anything else, just a warm, hopeful feeling thinking about being able to hang out with Brian again. To be continued... _____________________________________________________________________ That's all for now. Be on the lookout for the next installment. Remember to tell me what you though at blue98custom@yahoo.com.