Date: Mon, 9 May 2005 13:04:55 -0700 (PDT) From: Ryan Miller Subject: Bonding Energy part 3 As with all stories I write, I love feedback. But only feedback! I am not here to pick up guys, especially old, hairy, married men looking to get lucky. Tell me I'm a great writer or whatever, but stop sending gross pictures of yourself. Unless of course you look like Charlie Hunnam. ;) So send any comments to blue98custom@yahoo.com. Also, you can visit my person web page at http://www.myspace.com/14570436. Disclaimer: This is a homoerotic story I have written which means two things: if you are offended by or not allowed to read such material, then don't; and don't publish it elsewhere without my expressed permission. Bonding Energy Part 3 "Someone must have followed me!" said Brian. He was standing by the couch and looked like a deer caught in headlights: wanting to escape but not sure where to run. I went over to the window and looked through the shades to see what was happening. I saw an officer get out of the car and walk around to let someone out of the back. I looked back to check on Brian and he had just hidden in the closet. `Not the best strategy for hiding from the cops,' I thought to myself. I looked back out to the police car and saw the officer close the door behind someone in a leather jacket holding his face. As they walked towards the house, the passenger was limping. I noticed that the passenger was holding an ice pack over his eye. It was James! "It's James!" I shouted to Brian. He tentatively opened the closet, trying to get a clear view of the front door. The officer approached and knocked, with James limping behind. I hurried over and opened the door. The officer was a tall man with sunglasses and a hat; he looked more like a highway patrolman. "Is this your brother," he asked me, motioning to James. "Yes, that's him," I said. "Well, you should congratulate him," he said with a hardy slap on the back to James, which James did not enjoy. "He took on at least four guys at once and--" "Hey," said James. "Leave some of the story for me to tell." "Oh, sure thing. You deserve it," said the officer. "And I wouldn't worry about the charges. The owner assured me the other fellow started it, and it's not the first time I've arrested him for public disturbances. The most you'll have to deal with is testifying in court." "Cool," said James. "When will I have to do that?" "Well, normally it takes a few weeks, but this guys is a repeat offender, not to mention a huge prick, so I'll do what I can to speed up the process. Well, you boys have a good evening." And with that, the officer strolled back to his squad car and drove off. James stumbled in through the door and did his best to get to the couch. When he got there, he dropped on top of it. But then he sat straight up, with much pain, and said, "My couch is wet. What have you been doing to my couch?" This wasn't going to look good no matter how it came out, so I just came out with it. "Well, you're not going to believe this," I said. "Brian's here." James looked around and saw Brian crouched in the closet. "Oh, hey Brian. It's nice to see you again. Sorry about jumping you earlier," he said with as genuine a smile as he could muster with an icepack on his eye. "So, what brings you here?" "He got in an argument with his dad and he had to walk over here in the rain." "No, I was running," said Brian. Running isn't surprising, given the circumstances. "OK, so he ran over here," I corrected myself, "and he was soaking wet, so I let him borrow some of your clothes." James took another look at Brian and said, "Hey, those are my clothes. They look good on you, but a little tight." "So anyway, he--" "Can I tell him what happened?" Brian said, stepping out of the closet. "It's your story, go ahead," I said. "Yea, Brian," said James. "Have a seat on the couch and lets see if your story can top mine." Brian tentatively took a seat next to James. "Well...me and my dad got into an argument...and...I can't do this!" "It's OK, Brian," I said. "James is cool." "I don't even know if you're cool with it yet," he said. "Well, I haven't kicked you out yet. Doesn't that mean anything?" "Yea, but--" "Brian...we're in the same boat together," I said, hoping to tell him what I wanted to without going out and saying it. It took a second for Brian to realize what I had just told him, but I could see it when his eyes lit up and all the pain left his face. Unfortunately, James caught on to a similar conclusion before Brian could express himself. "No way!" said James. He looked at Brian, then at me, then back at Brian. "No way! You're gay, aren't' you?" Whatever relief Brian felt was torn away by a surge of panic as James hit the nail on the head. He always did that. There was no use in being vague or equivocal around James, for he could see through any lie or cover-up. He just could. "Yea but, Kyle is too?" asked Brian. "Sure is, and he even...umm, yea he is." James stopped there. He gave me crap all the time, but he knew that the gay thing was a sensitive issue for me and left it up to me to talk about with others. Brian looked at me and smiled for the first time that evening. "Well," said Brian. "That makes this a lot easier." "Yea, and I would have said something, but you were all mad, and then James came," I said. "Sorry about getting mad," he said, losing the happiness he had regained. "I was just ...really mad at my father." He started to cry a little and James put his unoccupied arm around him. "It's OK, man. You're OK," Said James. "Just tell us what happened." "Well," he said, "I was nervous as hell the whole day because of the party. My parents wanted me to bring my girlfriend because I had been talking about her so much and they had never actually seen her. But I never had a girlfriend, so I had to either lie my ass off, which I'm really bad at, or actually bring a girlfriend. I was thinking about bringing someone from school, but what do you say to someone like that? `I'm supposed to bring my girlfriend to this party but I don't actually have one because I'm gay. Would you go with me?' I even thought of hiring a hooker to do it, but I was so nervous I didn't want to drive. That's why I didn't go to school. "So I'm at the party all dressed up and stuff and my parents keep wondering why my girlfriend hasn't shown up. I told them she would be there and kept trying to come up with some way to lie out of it. But I was getting tired of all the lies and decided that telling my parents in the middle of a party might be good because they might not do anything irrational in front of so many people. Oh man was I wrong." Brian started to cry again, but began to calm down while James held him. When he was ready, he continued his story. "My dad asked when my girlfriend would be there and I told him I didn't have one. He thought I was kidding, but I told him I never had one and when he asked me why, I just flat out told him I'm gay. Then he was just confused and mad. I never joked around about that kind of stuff and he hated to talk about `those damned homos.' He kept saying, `If this is a joke, I'm laughing.' And I kept saying it wasn't a joke and that he's never seen any of my girlfriends because I've never wanted one. "Then he lost it. He started shouting at all the guests about how his son was a fag and how he likes wrestling because he got to fondle the other boys and then he started to knock down awards I had won and he broke the glass on the trophy case and started throwing them at me!" Brian was really crying at this point, and James just held him. Why couldn't I hold him? After all, I was the one who knew exactly what he was talking about. Well, not exactly. I have never come out to a bunch of homophobes or been yelled at by someone I trusted like that. I looked over at Brian and he was curled up on the couch with James' arm around his shoulder. James was always good at comforting people, and boy did I know what it was like to be where Brian is. After Brian had calmed down a little, James said, "So, what happened next?" "Well, all the guests started to leave after he started throwing trophies. I blocked most of them, but one hit me in the head," he said, motioning to the cut on his forehead. "That one knocked me on the floor and my mom came in screaming and trying to restrain him, but it wasn't really working. She kept asking what happened and he said `Our son is a faggot!' She looked down at me and said, `What is he talking about? What's going on?' I told her I was gay and she asked if it was really true. I told her it was and she told me to leave her house immediately. "I tried to explain myself, but I didn't really know how to explain any of it. So I just left. I didn't want to see the shame in their eyes anymore and I didn't want my dad to hurt me again. I couldn't go to any of my friend's houses because when I left, I heard my mom calling her friends to `warn' them about my bad influence on their boys. So I came to the only safe place I knew: here." Brian started crying again, but not as hard as before. I didn't know what exactly to do at that point. I was searching for the right words to say to help him feel better, but the look that James gave me told me to say nothing. I used satire as a defense mechanism, but something told me that making light of a serious situation wasn't a good idea right now. I just looked at him, trying not to cry for all the pain I felt for him. Then he looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot from all the crying, but they showed a level of comfort and security he probably hadn't felt in a long time. "So, you're gay too," he said, trying to smile. "Yea," I said. "Anything like this ever happen to you?" "No, only James know--and you now." "How did you tell him?" "I told him," said James, not able to contain himself. "When he was 14, I saw him checking out one of my friends as he changed in a dressing room at the pool. Kyle was just standing there staring at Aaron's ass as if it was a crystal ball!" he said, laughing. He loved regaling that story to me. He would always ask me when Aaron was over if I wanted to go up and grab his ass, but I would just tell him to piss off and go upstairs. But Brian chuckled, too. "I know what you mean," he said, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. "I've seen him check out guys in the locker rooms before, and it's just like you said." God! Was I really that obvious? "Anyway," said James. "One day he comes home from school and asks me if it was OK that he never had a girlfriend before, and I said it was fine since he was gay. He told me he wasn't and I just said that he can lie to himself, but he can't lie to me. `You like boys. It's that simple,' I said. He just thought about it for a while and agreed that he was gay. And I've given him a hard time about it ever since. But I knew that there were people in the world like your father, so I told him that he shouldn't tell anyone unless he could trust them." Brian looked down at the floor and sniffled a bit, probably thinking about how it didn't matter if he trusted the people his parents told about him being gay. "Well," said Brian, wiping his nose. "Kyle's lucky to have a big brother like you." "Yea," I said. "Thanks, guys," said James, reapplying the ice pack to his eye. "So what happened to you tonight?" I asked him. "Oh, you're not going to believe this," he said. "You remember that guy from work yesterday?" "The intern?" "Yea, him." "What happened at work?" asked Brian. "Oh," said James. "There was this intern who thought he knew more than me and our boss completely humiliated him. As it turns out, he was fired for being such an ass and wasn't too happy about it. So, I'm at the pool hall with Aaron and Nick when this kid walks in with a bunch of punks who look as stupid and pompous as him. They sit at the bar and start knocking down drinks and it wasn't until his third martini that he realizes I'm there. He walks over and starts talking smack to me and telling me how I got him fired and how I'm the one who should have been fire because I'm `under qualified.' Just bullshitting up a storm. "This whole time I'm just waiting for him to throw the first punch so I can turn around and beat the crap out of him, and sure enough he said takes a swing at me. I don't even have to block it or move out of the way. He goes flailing onto the table and I pick him up by his jacket and fling him into his gang of morons. They all pick him up and he yells, `Get `em!' " `Get `em?' What kind of a candy-ass statement is that? Anyway, they stand there trying to figure out how to `get us.' I've got Aaron on one side and Nick on the other. Nick's Asian, so they decided to leave him alone figuring he'll bust out some kung fu or something. They look at me and Aaron and decide the best way to attack is by yelling and running at us. A few moments later, all of the intern's flunkies are on the floor moaning and the intern is cowering on the floor. I walked over to him and he just looked up and kept saying, `I'm sorry! I'm sorry!' I said, `I know you are, but how can I make sure you remember?' "I was contemplating what to do to him when officer Phillips arrived to break up the fight. I turned to get my ID when I heard the intern say, `Remember this!' I turned around to see what he was talking about when a beer mug hit me in the eye. Without even thinking, I raised my hand and broke his nose with my palm. He fell back on the floor crying and officer Phil just laughed at him and clapped his hands. Apparently it wasn't his first time arresting this kid, and he had it in for him." "That's awesome!" said Brian, laughing. "Yea, and it's not the first time, either," I said. "Stuff like this happens at least once a month." "You must go to a rowdy pool hall," said Brian. "No," said James. "I just have a knack for making enemies." We all laughed some more, and after a collective sigh, we just kind of sat there, staring off into space. All of us were exhausted from the events of the night. "I don't know about you guys, but I really need to go to sleep," said James. "I assume you're staying with us, Brian." "Really?" he said. "That would be great. Thanks a lot." "No problem." Said James. "There's a couple of extra rooms upstairs. Pick one you like and it's yours." "Thanks, but...I really don't want to be alone tonight." "That's cool. You can share my room." "Actually, I wanted to be with Kyle." 'What? Did he just way what I think he did?' I though. I was in shock. My crush wanted to share a room with me! Did that mean he liked me? James looked at me funny and said, "Well, that's up to Kyle." "YES!" I blurted out. James let out a deep laugh and went upstairs. "You boys have fun tonight. Don't make too much noise, I really have to sleep." He started laughing again and closed his bedroom door. "What was that about?" asked Brian. "He's just being a dork," I said, still not wanting to tell about my insane crush on him. "So, are you going to show me where your room is?" "Oh, sure." I got up out of the recliner and he got up and followed me up the stairs. We got to the top and I led him to my room down the hall. "Here it is," Is said, opening the door and letting him in. He looked around at all the posters I had of anime and my huge periodic table. He looked at the stuff on my desk and checked out my Game Cube library. I sat on the bed and wondered about what he meant about not wanting to be alone and wanting to be with me. I looked at his tight butt as he bent over to look at my Lego collection and wondered if I was about to see a lot more of it. I decided that I couldn't be that lucky and started to take my shoes off. Brian startled me when I heard him let out a catcall. I looked up and was embarrassed as hell when I saw him looking at the Legolas poster on the inside of my closet door. "I see you're a `Lord of the Rings' fan, too," He said. "Uh, yea, I guess," I said. He closed the door and shot me a wry look. Then he walked over to the window and looked out at the moon. "I want to thank you for being there tonight," he said. "It really means a lot to me." "Uh, sure," I said. It really meant a lot to him. What did that mean? I was so confused I wasn't quite sure what to say. "Are you OK? You look kind of nervous," he said. "Uh, yea. I'm fine." "Wait, you're not expecting anything to happen between us tonight, are you?" `Is the Pope catholic?!' I though. I was searching for some response that didn't expose my obvious desires when he walked over, sat next to me and put his arm around me. "I want to be with you tonight because I want to be close to someone who knows how I feel, who has the same fears I do. I want to know I'm not a freak. And I just really don't want to be alone tonight. So you don't have to worry about sex or anything, that's not what I'm after." Well, I guess that's good, `cause I sure as hell wasn't ready for any. As horny as I can get, I'm still really scared about being with another guy. But being close to Brian under any circumstance was more than good enough for me. But still, what does he want? I had never been in a bed with another guy, except for my brother. "So, what should I do," I asked. "Just let me hold you, if that's OK," he said. Is that OK?! Boy is it ever! "Sure, that'll be cool." "Sure? `Cause if you're uncomfort--" "No, I'm fine," I cut him off. When opportunity knocks, you better open the door. And I was ready to fling the door wide open on this baby. He kind of chuckled and looked down at me. He looked me in the eyes and stared as if looking for something. I could see his bright blue eyes sparkle in the dark room. He smiled, then leaned in and hugged me and lay down on the bed with my back to his chest. He felt so warm up against me. I was still in disbelief that this was all happening. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I could get this close to Brian. He might not have liked me in the same way, but I was willing to settle for what I could get. He reached down, pulled up the sheets and snuggled in with me. "Thanks," he said. "I really can't tell you how much this means." "Umm, sure thing," I said. It probably wasn't the most appropriate response, but it was all I could come up with on short notice. He held me tighter and that was the last he moved the whole night. I didn't mind being his human teddy bear, not at all. I stayed awake wondering if this meant he liked me or if I was just cute and cuddly to him. Either way, I was cool with it. I just got comfortable, using his bicep for a pillow, and fell asleep. To be continued... _____________________________________________________________________ That's all for now. Be on the lookout for the next installment. Remember to tell me what you though at blue98custom@yahoo.com.