This time when I turned the corner that morning Nic was there, but instead it was his face that seemed to flush and his gaze that hammered into me.  I couldn’t help but wonder, if he have the same experience I had last night, and the same thoughts about me. Who knows?

“Hey Nic!  Wassup, little man?” I said, not even looking at him.

“Whatever” was his only response as he turned, snapped his lock shut, and made his exit out to the main field house area.

What the fuck was that about? I thought to myself.  Talk about odd!  Two seconds ago it felt like he was practically fucking me with his eyes, and now he’s acting all cold and smug with me.  Jesus!  I didn’t even say anything to him, or even give him a look!  Hell, I didn’t even stare at him this morning like I did yesterday! And why was I even feeling bad about any of this?  I don’t know; hell I didn’t even know the kid.

I made my way out to the main area after getting suited up.  Apparently coach had shit, as he put it, that he needed to take care of that morning so he left us to do either dodge ball or b-ball or both if we wanted to.  The field house was certainly big enough for both at the same time.

The six of us paired up just like the day before for some hoops, except this time, it seemed that Nic kept his distance from me.  He was even allowing me to drive by him with no effort on more then a few occasions.  His lack of contact or even interest in this game didn’t go unnoticed by just me; his own team mates were yelling at him to pick it up, and quit dragging his ass around the court. We finally decided to take a five-minute break, so I figured I’d try to see what was up with him.

“Hey Nic.”

“What’s up Brent?”

“Oh nothing really, was just seeing what’s up with you man.  I mean you really don’t seem yourself out there today. Anything wrong?”

“What the fuck do you mean?  You don’t even know the first thing about who I am or how I should act, so why don’t you just go over there and get outta my face, k?” He said as he turned around and started walking away from me.

“Whoa, little man, chill!  I didn’t mean anything.  I was just checking to see if you were ok.”

He didn’t even seem as though he was paying any attention.  He just kept walking until he disappeared into the locker room.

“Yo, man, where the hell did he just go, and what did you say to him?” Justin asked after witnessing what took place.

“I don’t know man, and I didn’t say anything to him, I just asked him if everything was ok because he wasn’t acting himself today.”

“Oh,” was his only response as he stood there a few moments. “Yeah, you’re right, Nic really isn’t acting right today, he’s usually the most upbeat person to be around.”

“Oh yeah?  You know Nic real well?”

“Heck yeah!  We’ve been best friends since forever.  That’s why I kind of asked you right away if you did something to him; kinda protective of my best bud, ya know?” I nodded. “But you’re right man.  He’s been acting weird since our walk in today, but I didn’t really notice ‘till he just yelled at ya.”

“Well when ya see him next can you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“Tell him that if it was me that did anything or said anything that upset him, I’m sorry.  If he comes back out, I’m just going to give him his space and not say anything to him.”

“No problem.”  

For the rest of class the five of us decided that we’d play dodge ball since we waited five more minutes and Nic was a no show.  At that point we said screw it, and joined the rest of the group.  He didn’t appear again for the remainder of class.  When I went back to change he wasn’t in the locker room either.

Right before lunch I spotted him at his locker and gave him a nod.  He gave me one back and I kept walking.  I figured there was no point in talking to him if he was just going to be a bitch.

The next day was pretty much the same as the day before as we grouped up again and played basketball.  He seemed to be avoiding everyone, including me; only this time, he was very aggressive.  He pushed and elbowed me a few times, fouled me all over the place, and even called us names. He was being a total prick the entire game, but really pissed me off after his last elbow.  I shoved him and he flew on his ass a good 5 feet before screeching to a halt.

He got up seething.  “You fucking asshole!  I’m going to beat the shit out of you!” He said making his way over to me.  Just then Justin grabbed him by his arm and swung him around. Grabbing his jaw he got right in his face.

“Look you asshole, you’ve been beating the shit out of everyone the entire game, including me.  You just got what you deserved, so knock the shit off and let’s play some ball.”

“Fuck you Justin.  Fuck all of you.” Nic said in a hushed voice because the coach came over to see what the issue was. Then he walked away and went and sat on the bleachers for the rest of class.  I was still pissed by the time class ended.  When we went back into the locker room we both changed our clothes without a word to each other.  As Nic made his exit he walked by a little too close to my bag and bumped it off the bench.  That was it.  I was pissed.  The next time I saw him, it was going to be payback time.

I made it through my next class with ease, but I was still pissed from PE.  I started my way down to the cafeteria thinking about what had happened that morning.  Why the hell was he acting that way.  What did it have to do with me? I thought to myself.  Just then I turned the corner and there he was again, like yesterday, shuffling through his locker.  I approached slowly at an even pace. Nic turned, saw me, nodded.  He fucking nodded, like nothing happened!  How is someone going to act up all morning, make an ass out of himself, shove my shit off the bench, and just nod?  I was so pissed at that point; I don’t know what came over me.  As I approached his locker, I stiff-armed him right back into the wall.  I looked at him standing there holding his head for a moment and then started to walk away.  I was satisfied.  If he was going to play his little games, bitch me out, and try to be rough with me, I was going to give it back to him ten fold.  He came to his senses when I got about fifteen feet away.

“What the fuck was that for you asshole?”

“Paybacks are a bitch, huh?” He just stood there looking at me like I was an alien; like he wasn’t getting what I was saying to him. “Huh?” Were the only words out of his mouth.  I had enough at that point, and just walked away.

This game went on for two weeks.  We wouldn’t say one word to each other the entire class.  We’d beat each other up in whatever game we were playing that day, and then right before lunch, I’d go smack him into his locker.  That’s the part that kinda struck me as odd, every time I did that to him, he’d take it, grunt, mumble something under his breath, and I’d just walk away. I didn’t get him.

The kid’s behavior around me was starting to take its toll. Every night I was dreaming about being with him, and it was tearing my fantasy world apart.  I knew he most certainly was not gay, but if I couldn’t have him that way, I wanted him at least as a friend.  With all this going on, the possibility of that happening just seemed millions of miles away.

I was at my locker that morning changing when Nic walked up and opened his lock and just stared into his locker. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke.

“Brent?”

“Yeah Nic?”

“Brent, I’m really sorry,” he said almost in a whisper.

I looked up to see one single tear roll out of his eye, and he quickly rubbed his hand over his face.

“Whoa bud, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing.  Everything.  I don’t know.  I have just been acting like such an asshole to you and everyone.  A lot’s the matter, but I don’t want to talk about it.  Just please forgive me, k?”

All that anger, all that frustration that I felt for the last two weeks just simply washed away.  I looked at him, and all I saw was a one little boy in one huge world trying to find his place.  I didn’t have the heart to be angry anymore, but I did something I have never done before with any of my friends; I stood up and engulfed him in a bear hug, then quickly let go.

I looked him right in the eye. “Nic, I’m not mad at you, I forgive you for being a prick.” We both giggled. “But if there is anything you need, or if you want some one to talk to, you come find me, k?” He nodded yes.

I walked away and went out to the field house.  I figured I’d give him a few moments to collect himself, and that’s just want he did.  About two minutes later he came out of the locker room all smiles.

The rest of the class went awesome; we paired up for the weight room. I’m sure I got lucky that Justin wasn’t in class that day because we wouldn’t have been each others spotters. We really didn’t talk much the rest of class, he seemed to be kinda spaced, but I just let it go, and class ended pretty quickly.

“Hey Brent, you know how earlier you said if there was anything I needed I could ask you?” he said to me as we were getting dressed. “Were you serious?  Would you really help me?” I nodded yes.

“Well this really isn’t for me, but I figured I’d ask anyways.” I gave him a look that said go on.

 “Well my brother Josh has been being messed with just about every day since we started school, and I was wondering, since you are a little bigger then me, if you could give me a hand just to scare the jerk a little; with the three of us it should be pretty easy.”

“Sure!  What do you have in mind?” I said almost with out thinking.

“Well meet me after second at my locker; it’s in the science wing.  I’ll tell ya then.”

“Oookay.” I said giving him kind of a funny look.  I mean yo, I smashed him into his locker every day for the last two weeks.  I really didn’t need directions to it, but I didn’t say anything, and he definitely misread my look.

“Oh don’t worry, it won’t be anything bad, I just want to scare him a little.”

I dropped brining up any of the locker incidents. “Ok, I’ll meet you after second.” I just didn’t want to bring up stuff that I wanted to be forgotten, and move on into maybe building a friendship.

Second period flew by like most days.  I liked global studies.  My teacher rocked and made the class fun.  Instead of everyone always sitting there watching the clock to see when class was going to be let out, his class always seemed as though there was never enough time.

I took the stairs down to the science wing like I did every day before lunch.  As I got to the bottom and turned the corner, my jaw dropped and my eyes bulged out.  Standing waiting was Nic and Nic. Two Nics in fact.  The one boy looked nervous when he saw me and whispered something in the others ear.

“No, fool, calm down.  That’s Brent.  He’s my friend.  He’s here to help us!” That was Nic talking obviously.
“No Nic!  That’s the asshole that’s been pushing me into my locker!” Nic just glared at me after hearing Josh say that.

“Whoa,” I said. “You’re a fucking twin?  You never told me that! But yo, Josh is it? I’m sorry for pushing you around for two weeks, but I’ve been a little more then pissed at your brother.  I thought you were him, but shit, this sure explains a lot.”

Nic was still glaring at me, then with out warning his glare turned into a smile, and then he started snickering a little under his breath.

“Brent, Josh, I’m really sorry guys.  This is my fault.  You’ve been taking the punishment that was meant for me, and I deserved it; that’s for sure,” Nic stated as he turned and look at his brother, then looking at me as he continued.  “Brent, I really am sorry for the way I have been acting, but damn man, I didn’t think this little boy could piss a tough guy like you off so easy.”

“Look little man, I’m not so tough.”

We spent the rest of lunch making up, and getting to know each other a little better.  From there on the weeks seemed to pass by pretty quick.  The three of us started spending lunch together every day, and it didn’t really matter to me because most of my friends were in lunch-2.  We seemed to be growing pretty close, but our friendship didn’t seem expand out side of school.  Then one day at lunch, just before Thanksgiving break, I was invited over for a massive snowball war between the kids in their neighborhood, and they wanted me on their team.

The next day, Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I had my mom drive me into town.  We arrived in a quick 3 min trip, said my goodbyes to mom, and I was off for a day with the boys.

“Hey Brent!  Glad you could make it!  Good thing you dressed warm too; we’re going to get soaked today!” Josh said with more excitement then I have ever seen.

“Yo man, this is going to be great!” I was saying just as Nic was coming out of the house, wearing a huge grin.

“Let’s get a move on,” He said. “We’re already late; they’re going to be pissed.”

We made our way down to the soccer field and met up with 15 other kids from the neighborhood.  Nic, Josh, and I made up an even 18, and we split apart into two teams of 9 and started building snow forts.  While some of us were busy building walls the rest were packing snowballs.  About 45 minutes later we were ready for war!

“INCOMING!” one of the kids yelled on our team.  We all ducked at first, and then all of a sudden we all grew insta-balls; everyone grabbed the nearest thing resembling a snowball and started pelting the other team. I must have been hit about 30 times before I started feeling it!  Man what a rush!  The only thing better than the adrenalin rush I was feeling was the utter joy I was getting every time I nailed someone on the other team in the head.  Suddenly that wasn’t fun any more.

I stood up to fire and two kids on the other team took aim at me at the same time, I ducked just in time, and then heard an oomph sound behind me. Nic was standing a few feet behind me and took both shots in the head.  One shot to his right eye, and the other to his nose.  A little blood was trickling out of the snow that was packed in his nostrils.

“Nic!” I yelled. “Nic man, are you ok?  Nic!  Talk to me buddy!” He stayed there a few seconds with his eyes closed.  When he opened them, they were tear filled looking up at me saying nothing.

“Nic buddy, are you ok?” He just shook his head no.

I called time out.  I told every one I’d take him back to his house and get him cleaned up.  Josh wanted to come but I told him to stay so they could have even teams; besides, I was just going to take him to his mom.  There wasn’t much I could do.  I pulled Nic to his feet and we headed out toward his house.  We were silent most of the way back.  I asked a few times if he was ok, but he only gave me a cute little grunt every now and then.

When we arrived back at his house, we realized his mother wasn’t there.  Apparently she went to the store leaving a note saying she would be going to her friend Sandy’s house after for a quick visit and should be home by 5:30. It was only 4, so I knew I wouldn’t be leaving him in the care of his mom, so I started doing what my mom would do.  I helped him get his jacket and gloves off, and then I took all my stuff off too.  We shook our boots off, and I sat him down in the living room.  I told him to pinch the bridge of his nose and tilt his head back a little.  I then took off to get some paper towels for his nose.  I came back and sat down on the other end of the couch and handed him the paper towels. He took them from me and told me he was going to lie down.  I said OK.  I figured he was going to go to his room, but he slid down and put his head in my lap.  He gave me a quick smile, and then closed his eyes.

After about 10 minutes I almost fell asleep until I felt him stir a little.  I looked down at him and he was awake and looking up at me with glassy eyes.

“Hey Brent.”

“Yeah little man?”

“How come you’re nice to me?  I mean after the way I acted at the beginning of the year?”

“Hey I thought we were going to forget about all that?”

“Yeah, well I still feel bad.”

“Why Nic, were friends, everything’s cool between us.”

“Yeah…”

He was talking pretty low the whole time; I was leaning down a little looking directly at him so I could hear everything he was saying.  

“Nic, just forget about all that man.  It’s over.  The past is the past, and I’m just happy with…..”  I was cut off mid sentence, he had reached up and grabbed the back of my head and pulled me down the rest of the way into a vice grip of a lip lock….