Date: Mon, 9 Apr 2001 13:00:07 -0700 From: Alex Bright Subject: chapter 12 Chapter 12 The Darkness Falling Justin "Well, are you going to tell me what's going on" she asked me smiling, as I started getting dressed after finishing the breakfast that she cooked for me. "Not until you answer my question. How did I get over here and why was I naked in your bed? What if your parents find out?" I smiled as I walked over to her. I gently reached for her waist and looked into her eyes. All I saw was love and care for me in her eyes. Then I remembered why we broke up. My smile faded away and I started to let her go, but she grabbed my hands and placed them back around her waist. Looking deep into my soul she said, "Remember I asked you to come over during lunch?" "Ok, that part I remember genius. How did I get here?" "Well, since there is only one car in my driveway, smart-ass," smiling as she put her arms around my waist, " I can only guess that you walked over or, in your case, since you're in those sexy shorts, you ran." "Ok, that answers one part." I drew her closer to me. "Now for the million dollar question. Why was I in the buff?" I asked with a smile across my face. "Well, because someone didn't check the weather report before he decided to take a night time run, someone got wet in the rain and I couldn't let you sleep in your wet clothes, now could I?" Our foreheads touched and she looked deep, deep into my eyes. "Now it's your turn. Justin what's wrong?" she asked with a serious look on her face. "Nothing is wrong, Katie, nothing at all," I said as I started to let go of her, but before I could she grabbed hold of my hands. "Bullshit," she said, sounding as if she was getting angry. "If we hadn't broken up Justin, we'd be going on three years going out with each other and four year of being friends. I know when there's something wrong with you, Justin Mitchell Kemper. I know you better than anyone, even better than you know yourself." "Whoa, the full name! When your girlfriend or mother uses that you know you're in trouble," I said, smiling at her and seeing that she was no longer smiling. "I'm not your girlfriend anymore, remember, and don't try to change the subject," she said, letting go of my hands and placing hers on her hips. "I just want to know what's wrong with you. We used to be able to talk all the time. Now you can't even look at me." I just looked down at the floor and told her, " I don't want to hurt you." "Justin, don't you see that when you don't talk to people about your problems you're hurting them and yourself?" she asked, taking my hands again. "You have to talk to people, tell them how you feel and what's bothering you. You can't just hide in your room or behind a football, you have to talk to people." "I can't. Nobody will understand how I feel." "I think you don't give people enough credit. I think your parents would understand. Speaking of parents, did you tell them we were no longer together?" "No, they don't know, and they can't know. Not yet," I said, looking into her eyes again. Suddenly an apprehensive look came over her face. " What?" I asked with a panicking tone. " Kate," I asked after a long pause, "what did you do?" Alisa As I finished getting dressed my phone started ringing off the hook I knew this was going to be a long, long day. I was ready though. I just had one thing to do I reminded myself as I walked over to my now quiet phone. Thank god I had my own line or I think my parents would be going crazy by now, I dialed Justin's phone number. "Hello, Kemper residence," Justin's dad announced as he answered. "Hi, Mr. Kemper." "Alisa?" he asked, recognizing my voice. "Holy cow, Alisa! How are you doing?" "I'm fine sir." "What's with the Mr. Kemper and sir stuff? Mr. Kemper's my dad and grampa, and even they hate it when you call then that." "I know, it's just been a long time since I called the house and talked to the guys or you since we kinda drifted apart and lost each other, and I thought ... well ..." "That's nonsense. You know Meredith and I have always and will always think of you as the daughter we never had. That, sweetheart, will never ever change. OK?" "Ok Papa," I said, now starting to tear up. I was the only one besides Justin who called him that, and Justin only did when he was sad, upset, or when his dad was mad at him. All of us used to be so close that we either called each other's parents mom, dad, uncle, aunt, mama, papa, or in some cases, by their first names. Being the only girl I was real close to all of the guys parents. I think they all wanted me as their daughter-in-law. "I missed you all so much," I said with a sniffle "And we missed you too. So, I heard you called last night looking for Justin. Is that why you're calling now?" "Yes sir, I mean papa," I said as I started to laugh. "Well, Justin isn't here yet." "What? "He's not home yet? Is he out running?" "No sweetheart, he didn't come home last night. We're still waiting for him. Here, I'll let Marr explain to you what happened last night. I have to finish getting ready to go to the office. I want to leave just as soon as I know he is home safe but, not until after I've had a talk with Mr. Justin Mitchell Kemper." When he said that I cringed because I knew Justin was in big trouble. "I do hope you'll come to visit soon. Three years is a long time for my daughter to be away." "I will papa," I said with a smile. Then I heard Meredith say hi as she started to tell me about what happened last night with Justin, him coming home distracted, then going into his room and not coming out until later. "He's still doing that? God, I thought he stopped it," I said, feeling worried. "Yes, he still does, and over the past three years he has grown so distant from all of us. Did you know he broke up with Kate?" "No, I didn't. I knew they started dating right about the time we all drifted apart, but I thought they were still dating." "I found out last when Kate called looking for him." "Did she know where he was?" "No, not when she first called. She was looking for him because he was supposed to stop by her house after football, but didn't. Then somehow he ended up at her house later on, I guess after he stormed out of here. She called late to tell us that he was ok and reached her house and that he fell asleep. She's bringing him home this morning. Alisa, I don't know what's wrong with Justin or what's happening to him. I'm scared, scared out of my mind." "Meredith, I think I know what's wrong and I know who is to blame for last night." "Who dear, who and what's wrong with Justin? Why is he acting this way?" "I'm sorry to say this but I am. I'm to blame." Kate "Well," I answered sheepishly. "Oh No, you didn't!" He was getting upset. "Well, you didn't come over after practice and it was getting late and, well I called your house," I said, closing my eyes tight and knowing what was coming next. "Dammit,." he said, letting go of my hands. "FUCK Kate, what'd you go and do that shit for?" "I'm sorry Justin, I was worried that you wouldn't show. Then it started getting late so I called your house. Well, your mother thought it was you calling her and asked if you were here. I told her no, and said that I was looking for you too. She then asked me if you've been acting strange lately. She was shocked when I told her that I hadn't seen you in a few weeks. I asked why would she think you were here since we broke up two months ago." "SHIT...SHIT...SHIT," is all he said. He was pacing back and forth as I told him about the conversation his mother and I had. "I think she took it well," I told him, looking at him with a smile while he was still pacing. "And later when I called them again." "You did what?" he shouted, then started pacing again. "I called to tell your dad you were here safe. Then I told your dad I would bring you home in the morning, Will you please stop pacing and say something." "Why did you call my parents?" "First you ran over here in the rain, then when you got here I don't even think you even knew where you were." I was starting to get mad as I walked over to him to calm him down. "Justin, when you got here you were soaking wet. Do you remember?" I reached for him. "I...I don't remember anything, I don't remember anything after I left my house," He said. He had tears in his eyes and pulled me into a hug. "Do you remember anything about last night?" I asked him as I gently pulled away to look into his eyes. "Do you remember anything that happened last night?" I asked with a small smile on my face. "I remember a little, I remember, I, I oh no!" Suddenly a look of terror came across his face. "Justin what's wrong? Do you remember something about last night?" "I have to go," he said, as he let go of me and tried to leave. "Hey...What? What do you remember?" I asked as I grab his arm. "I have to go home to get ready for school." He said as he looked down at the floor, "Ok, fine. I told your dad I'd bring your butb home," I said as I went to get my keys in the kitchen. When I came back into the room I told him, "I have my keys, but we're not leaving until we talk about last night." "Kate, about last night, I'm sorry, but can we talk about it in the car? It's getting late." He reached for my car keys. "Fine, but why would you be sorry about last night? I'm happy that I finally got the chance to make love to you for the first time." I smiled as I started walking backwards, keeping the keys away from him until I reached the front door. I had to try to get him to talk to me about last night so I could tell him that I knew that his mind was on someone else and not me, and that I wasn't mad at him. From the moment I sat in my car and started driving, Justin kept giving me this look, like he was wondering what to say to me. After about five minutes of silence, he finally said something. "It shouldn't have happened." "What shouldn't have happened?" "Last night shouldn't have happened. I don't want to hurt you and I know I will. I love you with all my heart, but... " I cut him off before he could finish. "Justin you're my best friend, last night was the most wonderful time in my life. I don't think anything will ever top it. I love you more than life itself. I know I have your love but not your heart, I never did. Your heart belongs to someone else. I found that out a long, long time ago. I couldn't accept that at first, not until after a lot of crying and being angry with you, but I now understand and I can accept it. I only want you to be happy, and to be true to yourself and stop hiding the way you truly feel." "Kate I don't know what to say." "Justin, I only want you to be honest with me," I told him as we pulled into his driveway. "You know I have never lied to you." "Ok," I said as I turned off my car. " I know who you were thinking of last night Justin. It will help you so much if you tell me. You have to start dealing with who you really are. I won't care; you'll still be my friend. I'll still always love you no matter what," I told him as he looked down at his lap, avoiding eye contact with me. "I know you were thinking about Brad last night, and I've known how you feel about him since the 9th grade." He was suddenly looking at me, but now had tears flowing down his face and his eyes were all red. He tried to say those words, those three little words that would change his life forever. "I can't Kate. I'm so sorry. I just can't. Please don't make me say it, please," he said as he opened the door and quickly ran out of my car and into his house. Alex Pain, anger, hatred, disgust. I felt them all while waiting in the school parking lot for the asshole that hurt Brad. How could I have let that go on for three years without saying something or doing something about it? Suddenly a new feeling hit me. Guilt, the weighing feeling of guilt. Was the guilty feeling I was experiencing because I knew what people where saying about him and didn't do anything about it? Suddenly the feeling became so overwhelming that I started having a flash back about yesterday. This time however, it was of me walking into the room too late to stop Tony and his thugs and finding Brad bloody, broken and dying, lying in a pool of his own blood. I quickly opened my car door and hurled my stomach onto the pavement. They were going to pay for what they did to him. I swear to god they were going to pay.